Random Happenstance

Superman#349, or why it's totally ok to check out your female alternate with x-ray vision.

When I was a kid, comics were a special treat. I certainly didn't get as many as I do now, so I treated each one like a precious thing, and read and re-read them. And re-read them some more. So, a lot of old comics that aren't necessarily what would be considered "timeless" or "classic" or "coherent" are lodged in my skull, and most of those I still have.

This issue though, Superman #349, haunted me. I could remember the basic cover quite clearly, and was positive I had it as a kid; but I couldn't place the story or find the issue. I finally coughed up for a replacement copy, and here we are: "The Turnabout Trap!" Written by Martin Pasko, art by Curt Swan and Frank Chiaramonte. (This is the same creative team as the last issue I had received as a kid/dogged here on this blog!)

Regarding the cover, or more specifically, the costumes--I'm no Blockade Boy, but we'll see! First, Superman's costume doesn't look too bad on Superwoman: a little lower cut on the front, and the red shorts could probably stand a little more flattering cut, but overall pretty good.

Supergirl's costume on Superboy: the high collar, shorts with long sleeves and boots; all add up to a great look...if Superboy was like 6. Although, his legs do look nice and smooth. Ew.

Still, that's barely a misdemeanor against fashion compared to "Wonder Warrior." On the cover and various places in the comic, a lot of the areas that would be bare skin on Wonder Woman, are left white. Is it a full body suit or a wifebeater and short-shorts? Whichever is worse! (As a full bodysuit, it reminds me of a Mego.) The tiara isn't helping...oh, all right, it's a headband. Happy, Luke Cage?

I know there's a Wonder Man over at Marvel, but for this they really could've gone and used the name. Because you'd have to be all man to go out wearing that. Wonder Man probably never had to fight anyone, they probably surrendered straightaway.

On to the story...which to be honest, is going to be a letdown after that cover, isn't it?