80-Page Thursday: Justice League Quarterly #6!

I've mentioned before that Justice League Quarterly #3 isn't just one of my favorite 80-pagers, it's one of my favorite single issue stories ever. Which is great, but every other issue of JLQ has been weaker and weaker in comparison. Like today's! From 1992, Justice League Quarterly #6, featuring stories from Mark Waid, John Ostrander, Paul Kupperberg, and Kevin Dooley; with art by Eduardo Barreto, Barry Horne, John Calimee, and Andy Smith.

"Take my Wife--Please!" is a mildly amusing one from Waid and Barreto, as Sue Dibny is kidnapped, and Elongated Man calls in some of his teammates for help as he investigates the only clue: a rare first edition of the board game Monopoly--ahem, "Land Baron." Ralph isn't worried, as he explains to Wally (who should know this...) that he knows this is just his wife's birthday present to him, a mystery to solve. Except it's a week early: Ralph's birthday is March 21! There are clues all over this one, so keep your eyes open. It might not be fair play, but you maybe could figure it out. Maybe.

In "Fighting Trim," even training sessions with General Glory aren't enough to get Blue Beetle back into shape, and his pal Booster isn't any help either, so his doctor suggests something a little more drastic: putting Beetle's bratty nature to work for him. The doctor points out men tend to lose weight faster than women, and if he knows any woman on a diet--like Power Girl, for instance--it would gall them to see him doing well...Beetle does suffer a bit, since he increases his water intake but pays for it while out on patrol, which may actually be a callback to a Nite Owl scene from Watchmen.

Anyway, the rest of this issue is a Power Girl and a Global Guardians story, both of which are awful.