Tuesday, March 09, 2021

I've been kind of pissed at the Secret Six for upwards of four years now...

...so let's see if we can resolve that with the conclusion of their crossover with my guys, the Doom Patrol! From 2011, Doom Patrol #19, "Suicide Roulette, Part Two: Ring-a-Ding Doom!" Written by Keith Giffen, pencils by Matthew Clark and Ron Randall, inks by Art Thibert and Sean Parsons.
The Secret Six--which is actually eight assholes here; King Shark is present but not on the splash page roll call--have been set on Oolong Island, by spoiled legacy super-villain wannabe Eric of S.M.A.S.H, who has just ignited a volcano on the island. The Doom Patrol didn't give a great showing in the Six's comic, but start to rally here; beginning with Ambush Bug introducing Jeannette to Danny the Bungalow, taking her off the board. Ragdoll is about to peel the bandages off an unconscious Negative Man, when he gets an assist from the cranky pelican that had been harassing him for issues. Catman and Scandal come under fire by the mad scientists of Oolong, which isn't as amusing as they would've hoped. Rita throws Bane over the horizon line, where he lands by Deadshot, pinned down by the island's defenses; then Rita shows her real power to Black Alice, growing huge! But, Rita has to dig a lava trench rather than slap the sass out of her.
Eric, overconfident and sallow, was unprepared for island president Veronica Cale to get through his cloak and get a missile lock, and flees, swearing vengeance, if only to make himself feel better. With their ride splitting, the game has changed for the Six, who no longer have a reason to fight, even though Robotman pops Catman one for it. The Six are put on a jet home, after a bit more trash-talk, and Rita recovers Bumblebee from Ragdoll. Still, the amount of damage and general annoyance caused makes Cale question if the Doom Patrol are pulling their weight, and she contacts Jost of the Front Men. Her pilot warns the team, which Cliff shrugs off, figuring "Mr. Somebody or whatever he's calling himself" and Cale would never be able to work together. So, of course they've already hired the team's replacements, including Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man and the Porcelain Assassin!
I miss this version of the team, just a collection of put-upon sourpusses and weirdos in an almost workaday relationship to superheroing and PTSD. They were kinda miserable, but not without a sense of humor about it. Oh, and I didn't scan all of them, but Catman has a pretty good bit about his grandpa, while Larry and Cliff banter about not thinking. This sold virtually no copies, however...while I'm still steamed at the Six.

2 comments:

  1. I only hung onto this one while the Metal Men back-up was running. Looks like I missed some good stuff- I'll have to check out the rest.

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  2. LOVED, LOVED Giffen's run here. He combined the best elements and personalities of all of DP's previous runs and blended them together ever so beautifully and fluidly. Plus turning something as innocuous as a pelican into a frenemy for a character was one of the greatest additions ever made to the DP...and it's weirdness was totally on-par with their gimmick.

    This was fun little one and done that I'd have loved to see a rematch too.

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