Random Happenstance

Seventeen pages of story this issue, which doesn't sound like anywhere near enough, but Bob Haney crams it full of graham. I had to recount since I didn't think that was right! From 1979, Unknown Soldier #231, "Bridge of No Return!" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Gerry Taloc. 

The "accursed Unknown Soldat," as the Ratzis call him, trades himself for the life of his friend, secret agent Sparrow, who had been captured while trying to trail the new Nazi super-rockets. The one-handed Colonel Steiner is enjoying the hell out of torturing the Soldier, who tortures himself with some flashbacks: he had previously tried and failed to rescue Sparrow, getting all the way into the secret base, but escaping with a decoy Nazi instead. Steiner is building up to a big finish: having the Soldier drawn and quartered in front of der Fuhrer himself, but has to put it off a few days when the Soldier's face bandages get infected and he gets feverish.

Meanwhile, although doctors diagnose him as a "human wreck" that would never recover, Sparrow disappears from the hospital to gather another of the book's regular supporting characters, resistance leader Nightingale, to go rescue the Soldier. Who, for his part, is still on the job: his "infected" bandages were treated with chemicals, and smuggled back to Allied Command with the plans for the Nazis' rockets. Sparrow and Nightingale get into the secret Nazi fortress disguised as chimney sweeps, and they manage to bust the Soldier out during a bombing raid. The Soldier also throws Steiner off the castle wall, saving his prosthetic as a souvenir. I'm not sure that's OK, but eh, it's a Nazi, so whatever.

I swear nine out of ten old Unknown Soldier comics are like this: busy as hell! I'd love to see an series, animated or otherwise, that takes the Inglourious Basterds approach, and U.S. bloodily murders Hitler every week...