Random Happenstance

Today we've got an issue I know I had read, but not sure I'd ever owned. Also, it was annoying since I had pulled the rest of "Rocky Grimm, Space Ranger" from the quarterbins but not this one. From 1985, the Thing #22, "To All Things an Ending" Script by John Byrne, breakdowns by Ron Wilson, embellishment by Joe Sinnott.

The cover proclaims "The Final Chapter of Rocky Grimm, Space Ranger!" Also known as Ben's stay on Battleworld post-Secret Wars. (The original, back when that meant something...) And when Ben looks this chipper, but we still have a chapter to go, you know things are going to get rocky. (If I had more readers, I'd hear the boo's for that line from space.) A human Ben, still wearing his wrestler-like singlet, finally returns to Alicia with flowers and candy. He is not greeted warmly, as Alicia proclaims "(ordinary) men are a dime a dozen!" and that she loved the Thing. Even without the slightly distorted visuals, this is obviously Ben's nightmare: Alicia has never responded to Ben like that, no matter how much he's feared it happening.

As the Thing, he wakes up in a stone ring like a gladiatorial arena, faced off with a hooded figure who recaps some of Ben's problems before he's going to be destroyed. Ben thinks it's Reed Richards, since he's gotten into his head, but it's really the human Ben Grimm. Battleworld apparently responded to desire at this point, since the Beyonder had created it to study the concept alien to him, and created another Ben Grimm in response to Ben's frankly convoluted and conflicting subconsious wishes. Alt-Ben wanted to stay the human version of themselves, but while "Rocky Grimm" was having adventures on the other side of the planet, he often changed into the Thing to save himself, and Alt-Ben felt that as "(sacrificing) another tiny scrap of your true self." Alt-Ben also finds the severed head of Ultron, and puts into motion the killer robot's return. (Shouldn't the rest of Ultron be around there somewhere?)

With a suit of armor, sword, and frankly out-of-character ponytail, Alt-Ben declares "Long live Ben Grimm! Death to the Thing!" The Thing is less than impressed: he's heard all that super-villain balloon juice before, and also knows Ben Grimm never had the Thing's fighting chops. He does have the sinking feeling destroying his duplicate would leave him stuck as the Thing forever--again? That trick never works! Tarianna, warrior-woman love interest (and imaginary girl) tries to free herself; while elsewhere Ultron has built a massive robot army, and made a little flag with his face on it! I wish Marvel Legends would give us more weird accessories like that...

Alt-Ben slaps the Thing around a bit, claiming the right to live as a human being, but before the final deathblow Tarianna stabs him in the back. As he dies, most everything on Battleworld starts to fade away: Alt-Ben and his arena, Tarianna, Ultron's army, and even Ultron's body, leaving him a severed head again. Ben has what should be a tearful goodbye with Tarianna, but is instead a lengthy monologue about how maybe he'd always been able to change back into Ben Grimm, but subconsciously blocked it because he was afraid Alicia wouldn't love him unless he was the Thing. Moot point, since Tarianna had "killed" the Ben Grimm inside him, leaving him the Thing forever. (Moot moot point, since as we'd see the next issue, Alicia had not exactly just been waiting for him...)

Pacing around the now-empty Battleworld, Ben ponders that Tarianna was created from his thoughts, so by transference he somehow wanted to stay the Thing. Finding Ultron's head, Ben gathers up his litter, and says his goodbyes and transports home. Finally completely empty, the Battleworld breaks up.

A little maudlin this issue, but the next one would be outright grim; setting up Ben not rejoining the Fantastic Four right away.