Tuesday, June 11, 2024
That first panel's pretty much the reason we read this, sure.
When we checked out Uncanny X-Men #29, I mentioned how the cover didn't seem to line up with the interior; and I just read #23 and #24, and they don't either, or at least not very well. This cover has got Goth Dazzler, for reasons probably not actually within the issue: from 2014, Uncanny X-Men #24, written by Brian Michael Bendis, art by Kris Anka.
This was the, I don't know, rival schools era of X-Men? (Not to be confused with Rival Schools, which was like a million times more fun.) Some were at the Mansion, now renamed Jean Grey's School for Gifted Youngsters; while others were with Cyclops, in his red-X, "New Mutant Revolution" phase. Both factions seem to kind of hate each other, and also some people are on sides I wouldn't expect them to be on? Kitty was on Team Cyke; I'm not sure how, unless she was rebelling against her mentors Wolvie and Storm. Still, She-Hulk tells the Jean Grey crowd that Cyclops has to be there, for the reading of Charles Xavier's will. Beast says he knows where he is, although he didn't tell the others: not out of loyalty to Scott, but because he couldn't stand him and "(didn't) want my life to be his life." Rachel, Firestar, and Kurt show up; then Wolverine comes in late, to admit he didn't own the school anymore: he had signed it over to Charles, just in case. Storm fears, the will would give it to Scott; since there's no way Charles would have expected him to kill him...Beast reveals Cyclops had been hiding out, in the old Weapon X facility, as it would've been the last place Wolverine would've looked; which he seemingly accepts with a wry smile. Well played, dickhead.
There's then seven pages, with new super-mutant Matthew, who blew up a town: Maria Hill tries to talk with him via remote, but it doesn't go well; and that plot's gonna run several more issues. Yay. Storm, Iceman, and Beast go to get Cyclops: while all of the other X-Men appear to be up and in costume, Cyclops is in bed? That's weird. When told of the reading, he claims he doesn't want it, but maybe changes his mind about going when he sees Wolverine glowering at him from the plane. Illyana teleports him, Kitty, Emma, and (goth) Dazzler for the reading. The color palette this issue isn't doing She-Hulk any favors, but she reads the will; and the first bombshell was that Xavier attests he was married--not to Magneto, that would've made sense; but to Raven Darkholme. She-Hulk tries to recollect where she's heard that name, but everyone else--the X-Men and the readers!--knew her as Mystique. Before that can sink in, a Shi'ar hologram of Xavier is activated, and he tells them about compromise, and was about to reveal his darkest secret...which, I'm 90% sure ties back to Matthew. Pffft. (Just like yesterday's Deadpool, this was an Original Sin crossover; although it doesn't seem to involve Uatu's eye or anything, just a secret sin revealed.)
Hey, Magneto doesn't appear this issue? I'd be surprised if he wasn't in that will, or if there wasn't any stipulations for him to be there. Also, the reason Dazzler was going dark (figuratively speaking) was that she had been captured and tortured by Mystique: I know she's on a face-turn now, but still feels like there's a lot of things she would've had to answer for. We're a few years removed from this era, so unless you're willing to read a bunch of X-books at once, I think it might be tough to recall who did what to piss off who at any given point. A few more of Bendis's trademark wisecracks hit this month than usual, though.
Bendis’ run sucked. Simple as that. Not Chuck Austen bad fortunately, but still pretty bad. X-Men ‘97 DEFINITELY handled Xavier’s will better.
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