A safe bet for this title: every time Hitler appears somehow, drink!

I had to go back and add a tag for "Weird War Tales," since we had not only blogged a few of them, but other tags didn't quite cover it. Usually it was a horror book, sure; sometimes it was a fantastic yet somber meditation on the horrors that war could inflict upon the innocent and the guilty alike or the depths either could sink to; and other times it was soldiers vs. dinosaurs. And today, well, let's see! From 1974, Weird War Tales #26, cover by Luis Dominguez.

"The Survivor" opens in World War I, where French soldier Deauville is a cheery, sadistic butcher; but one that seems to get the job done. Sent to take out a machine-gun nest, he is seemingly riddled with bullets, yet still clears the nest. Later though, he uncharacteristically nudges a soldier shooting at a retreating young German soldier, so that he is only wounded instead of killed. Deauville then disappears, seemingly deserting; but one of his comrades wonders if he hadn't been there, for some specific reason, that he had accomplished...like saving a young Hitler! (Written by John Albano, art by Alfredo Alcala.)

"Jump into Hell" follows a band of paratroopers, sent to take a small village, but they find an extra man on the ground; a captain separated from his unit. Unsure if they could trust him, they take him along, but are then taken by seeming ghosts: devil-worshippers from centuries ago! The captain, actually a chaplain, saves them; but the lieutenant still gets chewed out for not taking the village he was supposed to...(Written by Jack Oleck, art by Alfredo Alcala.)

Lastly, "A Time to Die" feels really stolen from a Twilight Zone episode or comic? (Yeah, "King Nine Will Not Return.") A WW II bomber captain had bailed out and saved himself, but the guilt was now killing him, as all he could do was wish he could take it back. And he does, as in his do-over he crash-lands with his men...who are then slaughtered by Nazis anyway, but this time he gets to die with them. Back at the hospital, the doctors figure he died in his hallucination...except, how were his shoes full of sand? (Written by Jack Oleck, art by Ernie Chua, aka Ernie Chan, of about a million Conan comics.) Read more!

I haven't read the Batman: White Knight books (although I think I have a McFarlane Batcycle from it, that I gave to Signalman!) and for all I know, this will be a speedrun through that: from 1996, Catwoman Annual #3, written by Joan Weis, pencils by Michal Dutkiewicz, inks by Gerry Fernandez.

Catwoman's spin through the Legends of the Dead Earth begins at a museum, where children learn about the crazy, violent nonsense mankind went through to become the peaceful types they were then. The historical record might be a bit dicey, though, as this is about the criminal dynasty of Catwoman and Batman! Starting with a robbery at a chemical plant, that led to a cop, Jock Bozer, taking a dip in a vat of chemicals and becoming the Joker. Joker would eventually become police commissioner, but never caught those villains. Over the years, even as they had a son, Dick; Selina is the brains of the Bat-Cat team, using clever robberies to get inside information that Wayne Industries could then capitalize on, making them millions. Still, she commits other robberies, and is not squeamish about killing any potential witnesses. Which might be a problem, as Dick becomes a teenager, that hates Catwoman and Batman!

When a reporter starts to get too close, Batman and Catwoman test an experimental "brain-tumor buster" on him, inadvertently creating the Riddler, who then works with Commissioner Joker. Batman is starting to feel the heat, and proposes their 'retirement,' but Selina still wants the big score: engineering a chemical spill, and Wayne Industries would be positioned to stop an environmental disaster in the nick of time. But they aren't prepared for Dick to find out the family secret... 

Were any of the other LotDE annuals historical reconstructions like this one? Oh, I guess I've read most of them by now; I can say 'no.' Interesting, even though it makes this a completely "imaginary story." Still, only two more to go!

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The back-up feature this issue just infuriated me, but we'll get to that in a second: from 1977, Aquaman #59, "Prey Perilous!" Written by (an uncredited here!) David Michelinie, art by Jim Aparo.

Near the Marianas Trench, a NATO boat tries to shoo Aquaman away with some warning shots; but he's too pissed off for that: his son was dead, his wife was gone, and he'd been trailing old foe the Fisherman for two days. The Fisherman was trying to salvage something from the sunken ship Bellerophon, on the orders of the mysterious, unseen "King-1." (It's somebody who was getting the big push around then! Which maybe didn't quite take...) In their fight, the Bellerophon nearly falls deeper into the trench, but is grabbed by another old Aquaman villain, the Scavenger! (One of the few Aquaman bad guys to make appearances elsewhere: he had a brief stint in Warlord, of all places.)

Aquaman tries to get Fisherman to team-up with him, to get whatever everyone was trying to get off that ship; but the Fisherman blows him and "King-1" off, trying to backstab Aquaman with a sonic drill. Doesn't work: Aquaman has the tied-up Fisherman delivered to NATO by dolphins, but now had to race after Scavenger's rather striking scorpion-ship...to be continued!

Ah, now the backup, "The Kingdom of Doom!" featuring Mera! She had returned to her dimension, to try and get a machine to heal her son, but has to fight an usurper. Mera beats him, shattering his mind, but he was the one who knew where the machine was...to be continued, except we know Aquababy was already dead, so this just feels mean and pointless and mean. (Written by Paul Kupperberg, pencils by Juan Ortiz, inks by Vince Colletta.) 

I'm a fairly casual Aqua-fan, except I did read all of the brief '91-92 series: there's an issue that maybe hints at Black Manta being abused as a kid, but that still didn't stop me from rooting for Aquaman to drown his ass, and another where Mera and Aquababy are maybe alive in another dimension, or Arthur's hallucinating. Poor Aquababy is one of the few comics characters to die and largely stay dead...Also, the Scavenger, who we really didn't scan here, has a somewhat cool mask design to go with his scorpion-ship, but even in Warlord where he was turned into a soul-draining monster, I don't think he's ever had characterization beyond "some jerk." Still, that puts him a step above the Fisherman, since I don't get his look at all: he maybe needed one of those hats with the lures and hooks on it.

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"Gronk."

Not that Gronk; you're thinking of the one that's been playing Hamburglar the last couple years in whatever those armed forces/banking ads are; but 'gronk' feels like a pretty standard kaiju noise! Anyway, the clearance aisle once again provides, although I probably could've held out: our kaiju friend is from the most recent Superman movie, and can be found online as Superman vs. Kaiju Slime Battle or such. I found this guy for seven bucks, but somebody had stolen the Superman figure (which I already had!) and the slime! I don't slime many figures here...although...no. No. Anyway, I probably could've got the full package for the same price at another Wal-Mart, but I couldn't leave this guy hanging. I did, of course, get other figures from later clearance; but they'll have to wait! 

Kurt's referring to the Kelly Thompson Deadpool run, which I got in a very nice trade, that I don't have next to me this very second; so I don't recall if Pool was at the Monster Metropolis or another Monster Island or some other name. It'll still be a good place for the kaiju, like a farm upstate...wait a minute.

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I only wish I could blame the state of my collection on Magnor.

There was a newsstand and a direct-market cover for this one; with the DM getting a pop-out cover with a joke about an opened copy not being mint, so buy another one! Oddly, although I know I had read this, I think I just got two copies lately, so I'm trying, guys! From 1993, the Mighty Magnor #1, written by Mark Evanier, art by Sergio Aragonés.

Two wannabe comic book creators are told repeatedly there was no room in the business for anything but super-heros, so they struggle to come up with a new spin on it. Needing inspiration, and a model, they find a huge, somewhat confused guy in an alley: he only repeats bits from commercials, but looks the part. Redressed slightly, alley guy is transformed, into the Mighty Magnor! Who then stays up late reading all of the artist's comic collection. And later, stops a liquor store robbery, by wrapping the crooks up in a lamppost: a traditional super-hero bit, that blacks out like 20 blocks and does thousands in damages. But, while a mad scientist continues fine-tuning his giant robot, an alien invasion was already under way, and we probably have to have more origin for Magnor...to be continued!

Because that's how comics roll, I probably have three copies of this first issue from the cheap bins, but I'm not positive I've ever seen the later issues, anywhere, ever! Well, eBay will fix at least part of that; I just got the last four issues for cheap. The postage was more! Well, I'm sure Serg and Mark would see the humor in that. Read more!

Of course he could hear that guy, "what big ears he had," c'mon.

There's a plot point in later Star Trek, that will probably turn up again on Starfleet Academy but is currently in new series the Last Starship: after the intergalactic disaster "the Burn" killed billions and ruined interstellar travel, earth went through another period of being xenophobic and weird. And also weirdly jingoistic and full of propaganda; which, given today's political climate; I don't wanna see that, man. I love future stories where earth has all sorts of friendly alien weirdoes around; like we have something that struck these guys as cool enough to hang around for, whether food, music, art, commerce, or crime...uh-oh. From 2008, the Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century #12, "Lone Wolf" Written by Matthew Manning, art by Ethen Beavers.

It's National Legion Day! There's going to be a ceremony, the President (presumably of the United Planets and not just measly earth!) was going to be there; but Timber Wolf will not. Phantom Girl wonders if it was because T-Wolf didn't feel like he was part of the team, since he wasn't their mightiest member; but it really just sounds like he thought was it lame and bailed. He then stops a random mugging, that's tied to a planned bombing of the Legion ceremony! (Killing the Legion is also the main target; the bombers don't seem interested in if they get the President or anybody else!)

Timber Wolf trails the bombers, eventually making his way to the bomb, which he disposes of in the sewers. (They skip the obvious Wolverine homage!) He then shows up after Phantom Girl's speech, and while she's glad he made it...he could've maybe showered first. (PG's speech had been to the effect that the Legion meant no one had to stand on their own; while across several continuities T-Wolf has usually been most effective tearassing off on his own; it's a mixed message.)

This was from the 2006-2008 Legion cartoon, which I liked; but probably should've broke from typical animated format and included more Legionnaires here and there as more than just one-offs or cameos. (Along with Superboy, there's maybe 7 we see regularly!) For some reason, between a couple shops, I have grabbed a ton of Legion books lately--some of which, like this one, I didn't already have! Read more!

We looked at Masks last month, and I mentioned having no idea what the Black Terror's deal was. This issue, sorta-kinda helps, but not really. From 1990, the Black Terror #3, written by Beau Smith and Chuck Dixon, art by Dan Brereton. 

The Black Terror in this one is Ryan Delvecchio, undercover G-man working as a hitter for the Capone family--in 1990! Allison Capone steps up as the latest heir to the family name, with an elaborate scheme to destroy America's financial structure and put the mob in charge of it. Delvecchio was the ninth Black Terror--the rest having died in the line of duty, which isn't a ringing endorsement--but the Terror had been intended to be the real force of justice in the country, while the FBI was largely useless paper-pushers. But his handlers may be ready for a tenth Black Terror... 

Got two issues of this the other day, and it's neat but doesn't have any connection to the original Black Terror comics other than the costume, which Brereton updates slightly with a trenchcoat rather than a cape. Said trenchcoat also features multiple buttons, not unlike Brereton's next book, the Psycho.

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Is werewolf blood tasty enough to risk a mouthful of hair?

My little scanner was giving me the hassle today, which I thought might be because it's really old, but might just be the cable going bad. Still, every so often my scans come out really off-kilter, sometimes because the comics are old and ratty, and other times straight-up user error. And yet I seem to be on the Ed Wood school: shoot once and call it! Anyway, this issue was nearby to try: From 1974, Werewolf by Night #15, "Death of a Monster!" Written by Marv Wolfman, pencils by Mike Ploog, inks by Frank Chiaramonte. (Spelled "Chiarmonte" here!)

This was, of course, a crossover with Tomb of Dracula, also written by Wolfman. I wonder if it's more fun to do one of those where you don't have to co-ordinate with another writer, or if it just feels like making work for yourself...After an initial scuffle with Dracula, Jack and Topaz open the sealed diary of Jack's ancestor, Baron Russoff, which fills in some continuity for both series: back around 1795, Dracula had killed the Baron's wife for not "kneel(ing) to his power." In return, the Baron braves Castle Dracula, stakes him, and throws the coffin in the river. (I thought this was maybe where Drac would be found at the start of his series, but the coffin-in-the-river...I'm not sure how it all lines up, but I'm used to like Hammer Dracula movies just going "somehow Dracula returned.") Still mad, the Baron smashes up a lot of Drac's stuff, before rescuing a peasant girl the vampire had been keeping prisoner. The girl turns out to be a werewolf, who later bites the Baron; leading to the family curse that now plagued Jack.

The diary indicates Dracula had not been able to control the peasant girl werewolf, so Jack wants to face him again as the Werewolf (by Night!) but needs the mystic help of Topaz. (They have a kiss here, but were they a couple? I need to get the Essential of my shelf!) Topaz describes her powers as able to do about anything she needed, but Wolfman maybe hints that her power was being drained, so she might not be able to pull this bit twice: putting Jack in control of the Werewolf, to face Dracula. This fight doesn't go the distance, as Drac is more concerned with getting the diary, which he refers to as "the second book of sins," but Rachel Van Helsing snags it first, escaping with Frank Drake in a helicopter. Dracula had tried to sabotage the 'copter by smashing up the controls, but didn't do a good enough job! Unless that came up next time: that story would continue in Tomb #19, without Jack and Topaz; but the Werewolf (by Night!) would face vampires again in WbN #19. Not Dracula there, I don't think, despite appearances.

Rachel Van Helsing was consistently awesome; Frank Drake doesn't have a great showing here. Although, bat-Dracula on your head while in a moving helicopter...yeah, screaming like a little girl is not a completely unwarranted response, I guess. Read more!

"Curious."

In Hulk stories, I think there's a sweet spot in your gamma bomb explosions, like a Goldilocks region: too close, vaporized; too far away, cancer; but if you hit it just right and maybe have the right genetics, you too could become a horrible monster. Lucky! 

Kurt's asking a lot of questions because he maybe doesn't always get to do street level stuff like this that isn't all about mutants and such. And it's a fair question; since the Tracksuits are very obviously only in it for the money. They also seem like thinking ahead isn't their strong suit; so to speak. And it's a bit late in the game, but I wish I had like a no-prize type thing set up; like a point system where points don't accumulate, I don't really give you anything, and it gets you nothing but a momentary warm glow. Because a Happenstance buck to anyone who can guess what the screaming Tracksuit's head is from! Maybe two more if you can tell me where that hairpiece came from, too; since I'm not even sure there.

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Ugh, are we Groundhog's Day'ing it again? In this timeline?

I mentioned this one yesterday, but had a copy handy! From 1994, Batman Adventures #22, "Good Face Bad Face" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

This Two-Face story would have been set earlier in the animated continuity, as he busts out of Arkham; pausing only briefly to flip on whether or not to let the Joker out: nope! Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce is listening to the psych reports on Harvey over and over: his "Big Bad Harv" persona was seemingly gone, leaving something else...something dangerous. At Gotham Penitentiary--we've seen its motto, "Building Character Through Adversity" before!--Two-Face busts out a mob lieutenant he had prosecuted, but only to offer him a job.

Batman realizes, Two-Face was building a gang: none of the criminals he broke were simple muscle, but skilled specialists. (Many of whom might seem familiar, like that scurvy scallywag "Tim Bruce.") Bats knows, next he'll go for Blackgate Prison, and disguised as a guard, he realizes Two-Face was going for the secondary control room. Two-Face releases the prisoners, to try and take Batman as a group, but they get gassed; and the GCPD catches Two-Face and his crew in a very packed boat. All wrapped up--except, that wasn't really Two-Face, but a double! Batman isn't fooled by the feint or the fake--the body language was off--and confronts Two-Face: his theory was that Harvey was still in there, and that's why he needed the coin. Bats didn't think he could make a decision to be bad on his own, and puts a loaded gun in Two-Face's hands to confirm his theory. Without the coin, he can't shoot Batman, and collapses.

Commissioner Gordon is slightly upset at Batman risking that one; but he had been pretty sure. In the end, Batman flips the coin: he kept it, wanting something to remember Harvey by. Read more!

"What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?" (In the audience, Harvey Dent roars "YEAH!")

I wonder if Ty actually flipped any coins writing this one. I also wonder if the creative teams felt obligated, 22nd issue, have to trot out Two-Face: they did in the prior series for Batman Adventures #22, then again here, but not for the next series, Batman: Gotham Adventures #22. From 1997, Batman and Robin Adventures #22, "Fifty fifty" Written by Ty Templeton, pencils by Brandon Kruse, inks by Terry Beatty.

Two-Face is busted from an Arkham prison van, against his will; which doesn't trouble him nearly as much as losing his coin in the getaway. Batman and Robin are puzzled, since the escape was on Harvey's third visit to a skin-graft clinic, on a Friday at 9:45...nothing seems to add up there. In a mob bar, Two-Face is forced to make do with a mere quarter, scratching one side of it; when his benefactor arrives: "Little" Jonni Infantino, a third-rate mobster. Infantino had been having trouble with a rival, but knew when Harvey had been district attorney, he had built a case against that rival, that went nowhere without Harvey's notes. Flipping the coin, the scratched side comes up, and Two-Face refuses to help. Infantino then threatens Harvey's ex, Grace Lamont; but the scratched side comes up again, and he still refuses to help.

Consulting with Harvey's doctor, Batman comes to the conclusion that he had been abducted; and the doctor assures him Harvey's only remaining friends, Bruce Wayne and Grace Lamont, were in no danger; even as Infantino heads to Grace's house. Two-Face then gets away from Infantino's goons, sacrificing his quarter to call and warn Grace. Then, furious, he smashes the pay phone open to recover the quarter, but is then recaptured. Grace does get out, calling Bruce Wayne for help: claiming to be out-of-town, Batman has Alfred pick her up, then waits at Grace's house, to beat up Infantino. Robin figures he was dumb enough to have kept Harvey at his own bar, and they go to rescue him--except the coin turns on them, as Harvey cracks them both with a chair! A goon wants to make his rep by killing them while they're down, but the coin turns up unscarred again, and Two-Face takes a bullet to save them.

With the unscarred side again showing on the ground, Two-Face gives them the info to put the rival mobster away too, before complaining for his old coin back: "This one's a pain." Read more!

It is baller as hell to get Pérez on the cover here.

I feel like I didn't see a ton of Mighty Mouse cartoons as a kid--although I'm pretty sure I watched Heckle & Jeckle at least occasionally, so I don't see how I would've missed it...? Also, here's a book I never expected to find cheap, if only because I'm not sure the sales were ever huge for it. From 1991, Mighty Mouse #5, "The Final Fate of the Flashback!" Written by Michael Gallagher, pencils by Ernie Colón, inks by Marie Severin. Cover by Ernie Colón and the great George Pérez, a parody of Crisis on Infinite Earths #12.

Shoot, Pérez also did the cover for the previous issue, a riff on Crisis #7, with a ton of cartoon characters I'm not sure Marvel had the rights to...This issue would conclude the two-issue "Mices on Infinite Earths," as Mighty Mouse tries to come back after the death of Mighty Mousette, who perished in battle with the Anti-Minotaur. Knowing he was no match for the Anti-Minotaur and his own alternate universe counterpart Mangy Mouse; MM was forced to get help, including his buddy Bat-Bat, Prince Samor the Sub-Plotter from a previous issue, and old foe the Cow, from back "in the Bakshi days!"

Mighty Mouse had been somehow sidetracked last time, leading to Mighty Mousette's death; and the other heroes might be going the same way, as they get shellacked by the Anti-Minotaur while MM fought Mangy Mouse. The Minotaur pulls one more rabbit out of his hat--well, not a rabbit, but another, earlier mouse: the original Supermouse! I really wonder if Marvel cleared any of this with legal...Supermouse destroys the Anti-Minotaur's planet, and Mighty Mouse races to save the other heroes before they were sucked out of the universe. His power used up, MM was done for, but is saved by Supermouse, who disappears again, just before he can help Anti-Minotaur. The Minotaur puts all the heroes back, with no memory of what happened, except for Mighty Mouse and his super-memory, who would always remember Mighty Mousette.

Also this issue: yet another parody of Keaton-era Bat-Mania, with Bat-Bat in "Everyone's a Critic!" (Written by Mike Kanterovich and Tom Brevoort, pencils by Mike Kazelah, inks by Marie Severin.) As the much-hyped sequel "Bat-Bat 2" opens, the hero receives a threatening note, claiming his pic would close in two weeks! Bat-Bat suspects the villainous Brushtop...who seems familiar somehow, as do his henchmen Highbrow and Turtleneck! Bat-Bat catches them trying to replace stars on Hollywood Boulevard with their own; which may be the most meta joke in the whole thing; but are they who sent the note...? No, and you'll never guess; don't try. Read more!