Tuesday, November 10, 2009

You don't see that every episode of Doctor Who, yes?

Must be the Americanized version.
I mentioned this one a while back, then couldn't find it...until now! Obviously. I mean, I wouldn't bring it up again unless I had it handy. I wouldn't say, "Hey, remember that issue with Death's Head versus Doctor Who that I said I had? Well, still looking!"

The evil chairman of Intra-Venus Inc, Josiah W. Dogbolter, has a plan to "exploit the infinite corridors of time," with his company's new invention, the Dogbolter Temporal Rocket. I mention the name 'Dogbolter' just because it reminds me of the classic Dogwelder from Hitman. Dogbolter plans to use the prototype to get even with "that pipsqueak Doctor and his Tardis!" Man, what did the Tardis ever do to you?

In short order, Death's Head is hired for the job, since he already had a grudge against the Doctor. (Why isn't explained here, but I believe DH used to be a much larger robot before the Doctor shrank him...) After rattling around time a bit, DH catches up with him as he performs during a children's show sometime in the twentieth century. The Doctor hightails it out of there, and leaves in the Tardis.

Death's Head somehow manages to smash into the Tardis, with no explanation; and that's actually pretty damn impressive: offhand, I don't know of any other force, from the Daleks to the Cybermen, that have been able to do that. An annoying alarm goes off, and the Doctor explains that it's a geiger counter: the temporal rocket also contains a bomb, Dogbolter set DH up.
Well, later there would be upgraded versions of DH, almost like...regenerations?
DH has the Doctor take the Tardis back to Dogbolter's building, where they manage to ditch the bomb. Dogbolter may or may not have made it to his bomb shelter, but the Doctor seems a little blase about dumping that thing in the middle of a city or wherever. It also seems a little careless to just drop Death's Head off wherever the Tardis next lands, even if the Doctor gives him a stout lecture:
The FF's alarm system needs an upgrade, like yesterday.
Of course, I have only a passing familiarity with the seventh Doctor, but I understand he was a bit more of a manipulator than previous incarnations. (As well as aggressively anti-gun.) Maybe ditching Death's Head on the roof of Four Freedom's Plaza was all part of some master plan. Like goosing up sales for Death's Head.

From Death's Head #8, "Time Bomb!" Written by Steve Parkhouse, pencils by Art Wetherell, inks by Steve Parkhouse.
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Monday, November 09, 2009

Die Fledermaus, no!

Oh, they heard you, Baron, they just don't believe you...
Hey, you know what's an awesome idea for a super-villain? Nazi. Vampire. Take two things that are despicable and put them together. Like the original Baron Blood. And you know what's an awesome idea for a super-hero? Not dressing up as a Nazi vampire.

Plus, on a more typical heroic build, that costume really does look like the Tick's Die Fledermaus. But in actuality, this was Victor Strange, the younger brother of Dr. Stephen Strange. Vic had been brought back to almost-life by the young Dr. Strange, but as a vampire...which still doesn't explain the costume or choice of name, yeah.

The vigilante career of the second Baron Blood would be relatively short: although he had every intention of only drinking bad guys' blood, eventually the bloodlust drove poor Victor to suicide. Apparently, Stephen doesn't like to talk about it, since I forget about it until I stumbled back across this issue. And I initially only scanned it because Vic's girlfriend (and possibly old girlfriend of Stephen) Morgana Blessing was foolish enough to let him drink even a little of her blood; the vampire equivalent to unsafe sex.
Well, the bat-ears do cover his haircut...
Well, at least he wasn't sparkly. From Dr. Strange Annual #2, "First Blood" Written by Roy Thomas and R.J.M. Lofficier, pencils by Dave Hoover, inks by Bob Petrecca. Old-school Baron Blood panel from Invaders #40, "V is for Vampire!" Concept by Roy Thomas, written by Don Glut, art by Alan Kupperberg and Chic Stone.
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Friday, November 06, 2009

Compared to the Atom, that must feel like a truck driving down your veins...

IM's Corpuscle-Buster armor. We just saw the Atom doing a little tour of the human circulatory system from the inside; luckily, Iron Man doesn't know the Atom, or it would be a competition. And Tony doesn't do the shrinking part himself, he gets Henry Pym for that. Iron Man gets down to bacteria size, in order to install a microchip to restore Captain America's mobility.
Wait, Cap, you're feeling sorry for yourself, for NOT being paralyzed?
I think this was just after, or on the tailend of, Cap's "Fighting Chance" storyline: the Super-Soldier Serum in Cap's blood was finally breaking down, leaving him with paralysis. Hank (rather stupidly) points out that "nobody thought to study the long-term effects of that serum...not over a fifty-year interval, at least." Dude, I'm not sure there was even animal testing on the Super-Soldier Serum. (Which, on further consideration, probably wasn't such a bad idea: I don't like the idea of a rat at the peak of...rat condition.)

Tony notes that Cap had retired when his condition was diagnosed, he wouldn't be in such sorry shape, but he and Hank both admit it's a lot easier to talk about or threaten to retire, than to actually do it. After a stout fight through Cap's SSS-enhanced immune system, Iron Man manages to place the chip. Afterwards, Cap is bothered, and seems to feel like it's a cheat, but Iron Man assures him that a man's worth is measured by his actions. Plus, a chip in your spine is probably less of a cheat than the Super-Soldier Serum, anyway: without it, little Steve Rogers could've lifted weights and snorted creatine for years, and still not become Cap.

Panels from Iron Man #314, "Heroic Intervention" Written by Len Kaminski, art by Tom Morgan.
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Thursday, November 05, 2009

If you were thinking about fries for lunch, I apologize.


One of my favorite lines in Frank Miller's the Dark Knight Strikes Again comes as Ray Palmer, the Atom, enlarges out of Carrie Kelly's nosebleed: "When you get down small enough--nothing the human body does is pretty." I don't think I appreciated DK2 when it first came out, but I confess, it has grown on me since. (We'll see if I get a picture of the panels in question, since that's a tough one to cram in the scanner. And we did, but not great, sorry.)

Still, I loved that line, since it reminded me of my favorite panel from Power of the Atom. In fact, I thought I'd scanned it before, from issue #13, "Rattling the Cages!" Written by Bill Messner-Loebs, pencils by Graham Nolan, inks by K.S. Wilson. An injured bystander of a super-villain attack is bleeding in her brain, so it's up to the Atom to get in there and sew it up. Ray rides a red blood cell through the capillaries, and:
I'm sure the insides of my veins looks like the bottom of my coffee pot... Blllloorrrf. That single panel has stopped me from eating fries, not entirely, but more than a few times over the years.

Ray takes an air mask on this veiny joyride, which seems reasonable, but more often than not he just seems to shrink and go wherever. Weird. Some writers postulate that when the Atom shrinks, a bit of atmosphere gets shrunk with him, and he breathes that while small. I don't know about that one. I think the best explanation Ray has given for it is that certain physical laws get kind of dicey when you shrink a person to the sub-atomic level; which was a case of him trying to be comforting while admitting he had no idea.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to eat a bowl of plain oatmeal, in the hopes of scraping my arteries clean...
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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

"Wreckered, page three"

Like many pet owners, Sam is completely oblivious to Redwing's utter evil. Will Nightcrawler and the Falcon be able to stop the menace of a super-strong bird with a crowbar? Find out...in three weeks. Next week, a surprisingly long Avengers strip, then the week after has a special Tuesday strip in honor of a certain DVD coming out.

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, and twelve.
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Tuesday, November 03, 2009

By now, we've seen the Thing try to make that straight, more often than we've seen him punch Dr. Doom...

'If it was important, alarms'd be going off here, Wing-head!  Now ya in or out?'
Yet another one of Ben Grimm's famous poker games, and while we've seen Cap and Nick Fury dealt in before, we've got Reed in as well. I don't think Mr. Fantastic plays that often, though: figure it has to impossible for Reed to not count cards.

Why is Nick driving a go-kart?
Sadly, not only does Nick not beat Cap's straight flush, he gets called away on a mission involving the Mandarin and statues coming to life. I would've rather watched the rest of the poker game, yeah. From Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #24, "The Camouflaged Commemoratives Affair" Written by Doug Murray, pencils by Norm Dwyer, inks by Jack Torrance.
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Monday, November 02, 2009

Druid #1, or why didn't Marvel have it's own Vertigo branch?

Before we get to the meat of this one, a little link trail: from Comics Should Be Good's Chad Nevett's Random Thoughts, to his list of top 25 Warren Ellis comics. Now, I'm a pretty big Warren Ellis fan, even if I know I'm missing a few like Aetheric Mechanics, No Hero, Anna Mercury,or Crecy, or Lazarus Churchyard. Huh, have I read Lazarus? I know I've read part of Crecy...and I tradewaited No Hero since Black Summer took forever to wrap up.

I didn't care for Reload, Down, or his Hellblazer run as much as some others on the list. And I would've got Two-Step and Switchblade Honey in there somewhere. But the list got me thinking of some books that didn't make the top 25. Mostly, I thought about some of his early Marvel work. His run on Excalibur I love because I like the characters, but you can see bits of things that would turn up later in his bigger books like Authority. He did four issues with the Starjammers that are smarter than anything they've been in before or since. In Doom 2099, Ellis takes Doom to the logical conclusions, but he leaves the character in an untenable spot for continuing serial adventures: on top of the game, and too smart to make the same petty mistakes again. Ruins is a little harsh for my tastes, but it's a solid two issues, and they were wise enough not to make a four-issue deal of it.

And then there's Druid. God, it's a brutal book. Not just in the violence and squalor, but it's a pretty unflinching look at a man who sought power, got just enough of it to get beaten down by those with more power, finally lucked into the power that was always his, and then the things he would do to try and keep it.

I thought Druid read like Marvel told Ellis, "use this character up and throw him away," but per comments from editor Marie Javins in the last issue's letters page, it seems like it may have been intended to be an ongoing series, not a four-issue limited. And that may not even necessarily be a bad thing: there is always going to be those whose ambition far exceeds their talents or ability, and get themselves in over their heads for it. I'm not spoiling anything to tell you Druid comes to a bad end; but Ellis makes it natural, as opposed to trotting Dr. Druid out during some big crossover, so this year's Big Bad can brutally murder him in order to look like a contender.

The book starts with the status quo from Ellis and artist Leonardo Manco's prior book, Hellstrom, where Daimon has apparently been elected Satan or something. He's the real deal, and doesn't take kindly to being summoned by kids playing Iron Maiden records backwards, or in this case, one of Druid's hangers-on. (I didn't get the feeling that Daimon was 'evil' or malicious, just that he was completely unwilling to put up with any crap.) Druid had picked up an entourage before the term was in vogue, an assortment of "friendly little parasites...dabbling in the occult for wrong fun." (I'm curious to see if this will turn up in Dr. Voodoo: magic groupies, fanboys, wanna-be's.)


The expression is, 'how the mighty have fallen,' but Anthony Druid, born Ludgate, was never that mighty in the first place. He had been a Celtic scholar, devoted to discovering the secrets of pre-Christian Druidism; no small feat, since the Druids had an oral tradition and didn't write important things down, and then were killed off by the Romans in the second century. Ludgate thought all magic may have derived from the Druids, and the monks of Tibet still had an oral tradition, so he went to see what he could find. The Ancient One, of Dr. Strange, experiments on Ludgate for his own reasons--Ellis makes him seem much more creepy and manipulative here. He opens Ludgate's mind to ancestral memory, unlocking some (but not all) of the Druids' secrets, and probably driving him insane.

The brutality starts after the break!
Ludgate takes the last name Druid, fakes a better story for his origin, and joins the superhero crowd...for years of utter failure. Prior to this story, Dr. Druid was best known for joining the Avengers, becoming hypnotized or infatuated with Nebula, and running the team into the ground. He faked his own death to get out of the Secret Defenders, and now was a bitter, drunk failure.

His shabby treatment at the hands of Hellstrom was the last straw; not because Druid failed to prevent the death of his charge, but the final blow to his ego. He invokes rituals he had never dared to before, a secret ritual of change, to beg to learn the true secrets of power. Druid gets his wish, but immediately learns, as a tree grows through him, the old Druids weren't new-agey crystal peacenik types, and no change comes without pain.

As the fat melts of Druid's body, he is shown glimpses of the present, and the future: an earth with no oceans, and no oxygen, nothing but death. As realization dawns, terrifyingly, Druid tries to tear out his own throat before speaking the third and final part of the ritual; to no avail. He is told by the "Triple Goddess of Celtica" that to the Druids, the end of the world isn't necessarily a bad thing, and that he is "the beautiful destroyer...open your mouth: taste the debris of your sacrifice."

Outside Druid's room, his entourage is mildly surprised that Druid is still alive, but it's indicative of how damaged they are that they don't run upon hearing this:
Druid rises, but immediately changes his name back to Ludgate: "I'm not kowtowing and cuddling up to you bloody colonials any more!" He declares himself to be the Last Druid, and that he will never be beaten again...and looks a lot more together than he did before. Crazier, too, but there you go.

While I enjoyed this series, I don't know that I would've liked to see it go longer than its four issues: Ludgate isn't just a bastard, he's a vindictive, unlikeable bastard, who is completely hung up on getting the respect he thinks has been wrongly denied him. Maybe it doesn't deserve to be in Ellis' top 25 either, but it's still a good read, if you can stomach it. I'm not sure Druid was ever collected, either, and it's disconcerting to read it with bright, cheery ads for DevilDogs, Kool-Aid, and Malibu Comics...

Druid's death is in Marvel continuity as well: it's mentioned early on in Busiek and Perez's Avengers; which is fine. But I think Hellstrom may have benefited more from being left alone; and of course this predates Marvel MAX.

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