"Investigate."

Probably my personal favorite Fantastic Four run is the all-too-short Walt Simonson era, which guest-stars Thor and Iron Man for a few, until oops, they lose them in the time stream on their way home. (FF #341! Get it.) Reed seems to shrug it off, since on TV they see the guys, so they assume they made it home too, but he's wrong about something there...Anyway it was a long trip even if it took no relative time and everyone's tired, so they all hit the sack! Deal with them later...I feel like Reed probably tries to underline the seriousness of it, but Ben, and Johnny, and possibly even Sue, are all ridiculously blasé about time-travel; but Reed only has himself to blame there. (Sue might feign concern for Reed's benefit, but...) 

I believe Howard was a private investigator in his most recent series, if not elsewhere. And P.I.'s are supposed to be licensed and bonded, although that is mostly a Simpsons reference, going back to "Mr. Plow." Death's Head is right, though: I don't see anyone asking him for anything, if they can help it.  

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The cover of this one was moderately doodled on, but we won't let that keep us from some Bob Haney craziness! From 1975, World's Finest #234, "The Family That Fled Earth" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by John Calnan.

Both Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne had been on the scene, for the launch of the experimental "Star-Home." Wayne Industries had done some of the engineering contracts, while Clark was reporting for WGBS-TV. Star-Home was intended to be a test of self-sustaining life-support equipment, with a crew of androids called the "Robinsons," but instead the passengers were project head Dr. Lucas and his wife and son, getting off earth while the getting was good. The ground control chief wants to bring them back, but Bruce wonders if they aren't pioneers. Since Lucas had disabled any remote access, Superman is asked to bring them back, with Batman going along; and they agree with Lucas! After speaking with him, they didn't feel like they had the right to interfere with their pursuit of happiness. Batman wonders if they were making the right choice, but Superman assures him he could get them later if needed. But, after the heroes leave, the Lucas family finds a man, floating outside Star-Home, without a spacesuit but still alive...

Yeah, it's a Bob Haney joint; the rest of the issue reads like a fever dream, but keeps you interested: you can probably guess where it ends but not how it gets there! I thought DC had reprinted more of Haney's stuff, but not this story, anyway. Read more!

I hardly keep any moldering garbage with my comic collection! Unless you count those Mark Millar books.

I've mentioned before, I seem to be accumulating a fair run of Kamandi, but now I have to keep an eye out for the Kamandi Challenge Special #1, which reprints what would've been issues #60 and #61. I did get all of this series, but just picked up a spare of the last issue, since I didn't remember how it ended, but also I'm not sure which covers I had: from 2018, the Kamandi Challenge #12, featuring "The Boundless Realm" Written by Gail Simone, art by Jill Thompson and Ryan Sook; and "Epilogue the First: The Answers" Written by Paul Levitz, pencils by José Luis García-López, inks by Joe Prado. José Luis García-López did a cover, and so did Ryan Sook, but this one has the Frank Miller cover.

Like the old DC Challenge, each issue of Kamandi Challenge had a different creative team, and each previous issue had ended with a cliffhanger, for the next team to have to resolve. Gail seemingly cheats, opening instead with "Kamanda, the Last Girl on Earth!" The last survivor of Command-A, she's dismayed to find a boy, floating face down in the water, but Kamandi surprises her by waking up. Unfortunately, before they can share their first kiss, Kamandi wakes up, in the previous cliffhanger, falling to his doom with the ape Silverbeck and orangutan Royer. He's more than a little frustrated, at having made not a lot of progress in his quest for the series, to find his parents and save the world; but Silverbeck is grateful to him for saving the earth from the Misfit in the previous issue, and makes him part of his tribe, so Kamandi will at least die with a family...unless he can pull off another daring and unlikely escape--well, no spoilers here.

Next, Kamandi and Royer are captured by the rats of Gnawbit, and he realizes his dream with Kamanda had been a warning. Gnawbit is actually mostly cool, though; although he hadn't always been. Warned of a horrible future, the rats had tried to breed human soldiers at the farm, in brutal conditions that would probably be familiar to any chicken farmer, but it didn't work. Kamandi is horrified, but Gnawbit points out humans used to do the same to rats, leaving them in cramped boxes until their tails grew together. But maybe there's a better way...that they had better find quick, before the Misfit's final revenge on earth! In the end, Gnawbit points Kamandi on the final leg of his quest, from his comic collection...to Kamandi's "daddy," the King himself, Jack Kirby!

Like a genie, Jack offers Kamandi three wishes: his first, leading to a taped message from his parents, is disappointing, but a clue. He then asks to speak to the leaders of all the tribes, which also brings back plant-girl Vila; but the last wish is a doozy, as Jack advises him to wish his name--accent on the third syllable--and after the wrap-up, a final cameo from one of DC's leading talking animals, then a two-page tribute to Len Wein, who was going to write this chapter but passed away before he could. Read more!

A safe bet for this title: every time Hitler appears somehow, drink!

I had to go back and add a tag for "Weird War Tales," since we had not only blogged a few of them, but other tags didn't quite cover it. Usually it was a horror book, sure; sometimes it was a fantastic yet somber meditation on the horrors that war could inflict upon the innocent and the guilty alike or the depths either could sink to; and other times it was soldiers vs. dinosaurs. And today, well, let's see! From 1974, Weird War Tales #26, cover by Luis Dominguez.

"The Survivor" opens in World War I, where French soldier Deauville is a cheery, sadistic butcher; but one that seems to get the job done. Sent to take out a machine-gun nest, he is seemingly riddled with bullets, yet still clears the nest. Later though, he uncharacteristically nudges a soldier shooting at a retreating young German soldier, so that he is only wounded instead of killed. Deauville then disappears, seemingly deserting; but one of his comrades wonders if he hadn't been there, for some specific reason, that he had accomplished...like saving a young Hitler! (Written by John Albano, art by Alfredo Alcala.)

"Jump into Hell" follows a band of paratroopers, sent to take a small village, but they find an extra man on the ground; a captain separated from his unit. Unsure if they could trust him, they take him along, but are then taken by seeming ghosts: devil-worshippers from centuries ago! The captain, actually a chaplain, saves them; but the lieutenant still gets chewed out for not taking the village he was supposed to...(Written by Jack Oleck, art by Alfredo Alcala.)

Lastly, "A Time to Die" feels really stolen from a Twilight Zone episode or comic? (Yeah, "King Nine Will Not Return.") A WW II bomber captain had bailed out and saved himself, but the guilt was now killing him, as all he could do was wish he could take it back. And he does, as in his do-over he crash-lands with his men...who are then slaughtered by Nazis anyway, but this time he gets to die with them. Back at the hospital, the doctors figure he died in his hallucination...except, how were his shoes full of sand? (Written by Jack Oleck, art by Ernie Chua, aka Ernie Chan, of about a million Conan comics.) Read more!

I haven't read the Batman: White Knight books (although I think I have a McFarlane Batcycle from it, that I gave to Signalman!) and for all I know, this will be a speedrun through that: from 1996, Catwoman Annual #3, written by Joan Weis, pencils by Michal Dutkiewicz, inks by Gerry Fernandez.

Catwoman's spin through the Legends of the Dead Earth begins at a museum, where children learn about the crazy, violent nonsense mankind went through to become the peaceful types they were then. The historical record might be a bit dicey, though, as this is about the criminal dynasty of Catwoman and Batman! Starting with a robbery at a chemical plant, that led to a cop, Jock Bozer, taking a dip in a vat of chemicals and becoming the Joker. Joker would eventually become police commissioner, but never caught those villains. Over the years, even as they had a son, Dick; Selina is the brains of the Bat-Cat team, using clever robberies to get inside information that Wayne Industries could then capitalize on, making them millions. Still, she commits other robberies, and is not squeamish about killing any potential witnesses. Which might be a problem, as Dick becomes a teenager, that hates Catwoman and Batman!

When a reporter starts to get too close, Batman and Catwoman test an experimental "brain-tumor buster" on him, inadvertently creating the Riddler, who then works with Commissioner Joker. Batman is starting to feel the heat, and proposes their 'retirement,' but Selina still wants the big score: engineering a chemical spill, and Wayne Industries would be positioned to stop an environmental disaster in the nick of time. But they aren't prepared for Dick to find out the family secret... 

Were any of the other LotDE annuals historical reconstructions like this one? Oh, I guess I've read most of them by now; I can say 'no.' Interesting, even though it makes this a completely "imaginary story." Still, only two more to go!

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The back-up feature this issue just infuriated me, but we'll get to that in a second: from 1977, Aquaman #59, "Prey Perilous!" Written by (an uncredited here!) David Michelinie, art by Jim Aparo.

Near the Marianas Trench, a NATO boat tries to shoo Aquaman away with some warning shots; but he's too pissed off for that: his son was dead, his wife was gone, and he'd been trailing old foe the Fisherman for two days. The Fisherman was trying to salvage something from the sunken ship Bellerophon, on the orders of the mysterious, unseen "King-1." (It's somebody who was getting the big push around then! Which maybe didn't quite take...) In their fight, the Bellerophon nearly falls deeper into the trench, but is grabbed by another old Aquaman villain, the Scavenger! (One of the few Aquaman bad guys to make appearances elsewhere: he had a brief stint in Warlord, of all places.)

Aquaman tries to get Fisherman to team-up with him, to get whatever everyone was trying to get off that ship; but the Fisherman blows him and "King-1" off, trying to backstab Aquaman with a sonic drill. Doesn't work: Aquaman has the tied-up Fisherman delivered to NATO by dolphins, but now had to race after Scavenger's rather striking scorpion-ship...to be continued!

Ah, now the backup, "The Kingdom of Doom!" featuring Mera! She had returned to her dimension, to try and get a machine to heal her son, but has to fight an usurper. Mera beats him, shattering his mind, but he was the one who knew where the machine was...to be continued, except we know Aquababy was already dead, so this just feels mean and pointless and mean. (Written by Paul Kupperberg, pencils by Juan Ortiz, inks by Vince Colletta.) 

I'm a fairly casual Aqua-fan, except I did read all of the brief '91-92 series: there's an issue that maybe hints at Black Manta being abused as a kid, but that still didn't stop me from rooting for Aquaman to drown his ass, and another where Mera and Aquababy are maybe alive in another dimension, or Arthur's hallucinating. Poor Aquababy is one of the few comics characters to die and largely stay dead...Also, the Scavenger, who we really didn't scan here, has a somewhat cool mask design to go with his scorpion-ship, but even in Warlord where he was turned into a soul-draining monster, I don't think he's ever had characterization beyond "some jerk." Still, that puts him a step above the Fisherman, since I don't get his look at all: he maybe needed one of those hats with the lures and hooks on it.

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"Gronk."

Not that Gronk; you're thinking of the one that's been playing Hamburglar the last couple years in whatever those armed forces/banking ads are; but 'gronk' feels like a pretty standard kaiju noise! Anyway, the clearance aisle once again provides, although I probably could've held out: our kaiju friend is from the most recent Superman movie, and can be found online as Superman vs. Kaiju Slime Battle or such. I found this guy for seven bucks, but somebody had stolen the Superman figure (which I already had!) and the slime! I don't slime many figures here...although...no. No. Anyway, I probably could've got the full package for the same price at another Wal-Mart, but I couldn't leave this guy hanging. I did, of course, get other figures from later clearance; but they'll have to wait! 

Kurt's referring to the Kelly Thompson Deadpool run, which I got in a very nice trade, that I don't have next to me this very second; so I don't recall if Pool was at the Monster Metropolis or another Monster Island or some other name. It'll still be a good place for the kaiju, like a farm upstate...wait a minute.

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I only wish I could blame the state of my collection on Magnor.

There was a newsstand and a direct-market cover for this one; with the DM getting a pop-out cover with a joke about an opened copy not being mint, so buy another one! Oddly, although I know I had read this, I think I just got two copies lately, so I'm trying, guys! From 1993, the Mighty Magnor #1, written by Mark Evanier, art by Sergio Aragonés.

Two wannabe comic book creators are told repeatedly there was no room in the business for anything but super-heros, so they struggle to come up with a new spin on it. Needing inspiration, and a model, they find a huge, somewhat confused guy in an alley: he only repeats bits from commercials, but looks the part. Redressed slightly, alley guy is transformed, into the Mighty Magnor! Who then stays up late reading all of the artist's comic collection. And later, stops a liquor store robbery, by wrapping the crooks up in a lamppost: a traditional super-hero bit, that blacks out like 20 blocks and does thousands in damages. But, while a mad scientist continues fine-tuning his giant robot, an alien invasion was already under way, and we probably have to have more origin for Magnor...to be continued!

Because that's how comics roll, I probably have three copies of this first issue from the cheap bins, but I'm not positive I've ever seen the later issues, anywhere, ever! Well, eBay will fix at least part of that; I just got the last four issues for cheap. The postage was more! Well, I'm sure Serg and Mark would see the humor in that. Read more!