Random Happenstance

I probably won't have back-to-back Dredd posts, especially since this is one I think I've considered blogging about before, then held off...since it's really mean, guys. Like, trigger warnings mean. But, we need to talk about the layout of a Mega-City kitchen, my delightful speaking voice, and a hopefully apocryphal tale of a college radio station! From 1993, Dredd Rules! #18, reprinting "Talkback" from 1991's 2000 AD #740, written by Garth Ennis, art by Glenn Fabry.

As a senior Judge, Dredd would of course be called in on a puzzler like this one, a locked-room mystery: superstar DJ Cool Johnny Cool, in his own home, shoved into the garbage grinder. Another Judge suggests the obvious, suicide; but it didn't seem likely to Dredd: "He comes home...makes himself a cup of sythi-caff all nice and calm...then takes a header down the garbage grinder?" I don't know, I've never lived anywhere with a garbage disposal, or a grinder that would chew up an entire body. I've certainly never lived anywhere with a TV above said grinder, either! There's like zero safety features; that thing looks like it'd be dangerous in a slaughterhouse. Dredd calls in Psi-Division, but instead of the usual Anderson he gets Judge Palmer, who seems as green as grass, but admittedly being told to find a clue in the human remains bucket is a tough day at the office for anybody. Surprisingly, Palmer does get a hit, bowled over by "the hate."

We then flashback a few days, for the sad end of Cool Johnny Cool, DJ douchebag. An unfortunate accident in the radio station's bathroom gives him a bump on the head, and soon thereafter he would start hearing the voices. No one else heard, but Johnny; voices telling him how much he sucked and how he should kill himself, as soon as possible. And Johnny, seemingly almost in a trance, tries to throw himself out a window, drown himself in the toilet, drink a cocktail of household cleaners...Johnny's boss gives him some time off, and suggests he see a doctor; but the voices follow him home, getting louder and stronger: "TELL YOU WHAT, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST THROW YOURSELF DOWN THE GRUDDAM GARBAGE GRINDER, COOL JOHNNY COOL!"

Palmer explains what happened: Johnny must have been a latent psi, and the bump on the noggin triggered abilities in him. Namely, picking up on what everyone in Mega-City One thought of him, which drove him to his death. Staggered, Palmer wonders who could deserve something like that...for about three seconds, until Dredd puts on a tape of Cool Johnny Cool's show.

Mean, so mean! Maybe not entirely inaccurate, but still. Dale will back me up on this: I have a delightful voice, honed from entirely too many years on the phone, where I was often told I had a face--er, voice, for radio. But I hate morning shows and talky DJ's! I would be a caveman of a DJ: "That was songs. Here more songs." Sadly, I missed a brief window in college when a local station was first established--and wannabes were probably fighting way harder than I'd care to for airtime; I would not have had the competitive drive for that. Also, and I should preface this by saying I'm not positive this is true, but I'm pretty sure: I was a casual acquaintance and occasional co-worker with a guy that was one of the college station's founders. I hadn't seen him for a while, and when I ran into a mutual friend, I asked where he had been: apparently, after a bad break-up, he had locked himself in the station, and told everyone in broadcast distance what he thought of her, the town, everything. The way that story was told to me, made it sound like a bell tower shooting, only over radio. Anyway, that's a little story that hopefully didn't happen but I kinda think probably did.