Random Happenstance

On the Eternals...
Another confession: I have a ton of comics, and I'm not super-organized. And I wasn't very organized in the first place, but now that all my junk is downstairs, it seems to be organized by what I bought that week. That would be bad enough if I wasn't a quarter book junkie. Love 'em. I don't care about condition, and while you'd think for twenty-eight cents a pop (with tax, thanks WA!) I would be getting old Valiant, 90's Image/Extreme/Awesome, or worse; I have pulled a lot of greatness out of the bins.

And a lot of silliness.

I was actually looking for something else when I found this in my stacks, but that's why this blog is "Random Happenstance" and not "Super-Organized Comic Funtime Cleanup." Although...no. No. Anyway, this time we have New Eternals, Apocalypse Now, from Marvel, 1999; written by Karl Bollers and Mike Higgins, art by Joe Bennett and Scott Hanna. I will bet you a quarter the new Neil Gaiman/John Romita Jr. Eternals series doesn't reference this one. Which is kind of a shame: it's got Karkas! Actually, I better hope the demand doesn't skyrocket up, since my son stepped on it when I left it on the couch.

The Eternals was one of Jack Kirby's creations, but I have to admit it's not my favorite. Partially because the book introduces two advanced races hidden away from the eyes of man, fighting a secret war against each other...not unlike the Inhumans, the Atlanteans, the various races of the Savage Land, the Zero People, the Morlocks, the Moloids, the Externals, the ClanDestine, the Neo, and DC and Marvel bloggers. And that's just the secret races I could think of off the top of my head. (And yet, all of yesterday? Completely blacked out of my head. Nice.) Between that, the assorted aliens, paramilitary groups, monsters, and secret societies that inhabit the Marvel Universe; and there's more hidden cultures then there are regular people. I guess that's why books like Spider-Man don't have time for the supporting cast the way they used to, because if you aren't a Skrull, member of the Hellfire Club, and/or A.I.M. scientist; you're obviously useless.

Anyway. The Eternals have had 40 issues at Marvel: the original, Kirby series for 19 issues and an annual, a 12 issue limited from 1985, two one-shots, and Chuck Austen's "The Eternal," which perhaps ironically lasted only 6 issues. Compare that to the similar New Gods at DC: also created by Kirby, with about 63 issues total, plus some appearances in Adventure Comics. But the New Gods Orion and Mister Miracle have also had their own solo books, and often appear in regular DC titles like JLA. Of course, Darkseid also has made a ton of appearances in lots of books, ranging from Superman/Batman to Legion of Super Heroes to Ambush Bug. Still, short answer is the Eternals and the New Gods have a lot of similarities, like the inability to carry a book, even though they get another shot every so often.

Back at Marvel, Thanos and Starfox were both from an offshoot of the Eternals from Titan. Kirby didn't create them, and I don't think they were referred to as Eternals at first. Maybe. The other Eternal with the most exposure is probably Sersi, who was an Avenger for a good stretch of issues starting around #308, through #375. Although that's not a bad run, I'm not sure she was that popular. The trouble with the Eternals is that they were very powerful, especially in terms of the Marvel Universe. Some Eternals had specialized powers like superspeed or invention or matter transmutation, and all of them had eyebeams (not heat vision, but something), superstrength, flight, control over their molecular structure. That last one covers a lot of ground, from walking through walls to not being disintegrated. Then there's the Uni-Mind, where a bunch of Eternals can link up into a giant floating brain. It might be effective, but Voltron it's not.

On the other hand, the Deviants were for the most part ugly little monsters. Occasionally, you'd see one that was a pretty good sized monster, or had one semi-useful power; but overall the Morlocks seemed more threatening. It's all relative, of course. Like a lot of things in comics, there's a context that gets taken for granted. When you only see the Deviants fighting the Eternals, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. However, if an army of drooling, psychotic Deviants drove a drilling machine through the parking lot at your work and started shooting up the place...well, that would be a threat, but it would also be like the best afternoon ever! Plus, I think (from one of the write-ups on them for Newsarama or the Handbooks) that the Deviants are so ugly, their population is starting to diminish. They're too ugly to breed with each other, so they've got to be getting pissy.

Wait a sec...if that's true about the breeding, why do the Deviants hate Ransak, "the Reject," who looks like a really pretty Kirby hero? Shouldn't he be their idol, instead of Ghaur, a guy who's head looks like a California raisin? There's like some kind of beauty triple-standard over in Deviant land. I blame advertising for creating an unattainable body image. So, Ransak usually runs with the Eternals now, even though they kind of look down on him as a savage, but pretty. Also, they usually take his drinking buddy Karkas, as part of the deal.

Which brings us to a big problem with New Eternals: Karkas, a big dinosaur-like Deviant with weird claw-hands and an oddly-shaped head, had always been a bright comic red in his previous appearances. In this issue he's green. OK, I thought while reading, but as a Deviant, those things could change color drastically for any number of reasons. He could've mutated, or he could change with age. Maybe he's a man now!

And then, later in the story, after he's mutated into a giant, Godzilla-esque monster, Karkas is referred to as "Big Red." Oops.

Also not helping the Eternals' efforts in finding readers: Ikaris puts together a team of his fellow Eternals (and Ransak) to fight Apocalypse. OK. Most of his new Eternals had human secret identities. With me so far? Then, because he doesn't want to reveal the existence of the Eternals (as a secret race of godlike beings) to the general public; he passes his team off as just another group of superpowered humans, like the Defenders or Champions or Thunderbolts...bad examples. But, that means for most of the characters, there was the real, or Eternal name; then the human id, then the superhero name. Throw in the backstory of who the Eternals and Deviants were, the return of Ikaris' long-departed (and possibly never before seen) father, and a subplot with a golden statue and the U.S. military; and you get not the most easily accessible comic ever.

I really like Joe Bennett's art: I think it's solid and tells the story, without trying to showboat. But he had a tough row to hoe in costume designs here: think Jack Kirby 1999. Actually, think of all the excesses of Kirby and say, Liefeld, in the same outfit. Also, in the Street Fighter tradition, stereotypes are in this season: Native American guy gets feathers, black techno guy gets nonsensically huge armor, and so on.

Finally, at the ending press conference, Ikaris appears to be making up new names for his teammates on the fly, also apparently in the Liefeld method: "Meet...Shiny! Steel! T.Hawk! Bald-Psychic Guy that's not Professor X! Electric Jubilee? Chai Tea? Psylocke 2.0? Warhead...really, you wanna be 'Warhead'? All right, man...and Sersi again! Humanity's latest line of defense--The New Breed!" Latest line of defense? Between the League of Women Voters and the Coast Guard, no doubt. Oh, right, Marvel Universe: between the X-Terminators and the Texas Rangers.