Friday, April 19, 2019

Another Easter miracle, from Conan!


So I don't remember this as being a highwater mark for the title, although I was still reading it then; or a memorable run, although I remember this one. And I like the penciler, but not here. Bwah? From 1989, Conan the Barbarian #223, "The Wheel of Life and Death" Written by Michael Fleisher, pencils by Gary Kwapisz.

At the "sacred temple of almighty Vajrath" in Khoraja, Conan visits an old friend, dancer-turned-priestess Arasandra. There's a knockoffy-Hindu feel to them, possibly because Vajrath wasn't a traditional Conan deity like Crom, Mitra, or Set. Their holy "wheel of life and death" had been stolen by a rival faction, and Arasandra hires Conan to steal it back. On his way to their desert stronghold, Conan is approached by acolyte Rathnok, who wants to accompany him. Since Rathnok claims to know the layout, Conan grudgingly agrees. Meanwhile, a band of thieves recognizes Conan, and know his rep: the barbarian wouldn't waste his time unless serious loot was involved. They follow at a distance, intent on ambushing him once he gets the wheel.

Getting the wheel is relatively simple, but Vajrath is surprised that Conan isn't heading back to Khoraja, but rather deeper into the desert. Conan had seen the thieves, and was going to lead them into the desert to lose them. Vajrath doesn't think they can carry enough water, but Conan had already stocked a donkey with two huge jars. The thieves continue to follow, figuring Conan would have to turn back soon; interestingly, Conan also stashes one of his waterbags when Vajrath isn't looking. That night, Vajrath attempts to "bless" their campsite, with smoke that could be seen for miles, until Conan angrily stops him. Later, when he catches Vajrath playing a flute, that's the last straw: Vajrath had been working with the thieves from the start. When the thieves attack, Vajrath knows they don't have to beat Conan, they can just steal the wheel and the donkey and leave him to die of thirst. Strangely, Conan doesn't seem worried; as he rides back to his stashed water, he doesn't even seem mad.

The next day, when the thieves crack open Conan's water, they realize...it's wine. A miracle! Except they're totally screwed: "We'll die of thirst faster drinking this stuff than if we drank nothing at all!" Conan had, of course, planned that from the start; and after the initial shock the thieves drink a toast to him, because why not. Following the vultures, Conan recovers the wheel later, telling the birds they all had to earn a living somehow.

Kwapisz was one of my favorite Savage Sword of Conan artists, I always forget he did at least a few of the color book as well. I preferred his black-and-white stuff, though. Also, on the letters page, it mentions the last issue of Conan the King.


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