Look, Bill Sienkiewicz couldn't get me to read these kids; can Alan Davis?

Actually, I'm going to cop to my own hypocrisy: I know I did read New Mutants a couple times in its initial run, usually during crossovers and whatnot. And I'm pretty sure I have (or had) at least some Liefeld ones, too; but hadn't flipped through today's book: from 1987, New Mutants Annual #3, "Anything You Can Do--!" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Alan Davis, inks by Paul Neary.

Doug Ramsey, Cypher, was still alive at this point; but he's running the boards on the Danger Room instead out there in it: he really should've put in the time. The rest of the New Mutants spar with the "Avengers," aged down to "Teen Avengers" to give them a fighting chance: Mirage worries Doug took it too easy on them, as they win handily; while something from the far reaches of space comes ever closer to Xavier's school. It's the Impossible Man, back again: Illyana remembers the last time he was there, he stole the X-Mansion in X-Men Annual #7. He's back for more fun, but the X-Men weren't there, and probably not in the mood for fun anyway, Mirage tells him. She heads the team back inside, already seemingly onto the fact that if you ignore him, Impy will go away. But Impy calls them out as "scared!" and Warlock takes the bait.

After changing out of their school uniforms and into the outfits from X-Men Annual #10...which, honestly, I didn't think ever showed up again...the kids give chase, finding the 'Hulk' and the 'Thing' duking it out in Manhattan, with wrong colors. Next, they have to switch to swimsuits, in Rio de Janiero, where on the beach two suspiciously muscular studs are having an impromptu beauty contest, to the delight of dozens of gorgeous girls. With the crowd getting a little too into it, Cannonball grabs them both and dumps them in the water, shorting Warlock's disguise, and washing the body makeup off Impy. Although momentarily stifled, the duo disappear again after the girls turn on them.

Next up, Wimbledon!...which, if it's daytime in Rio, shouldn't it be night in London? Or at least not tennis-time? With their match again interrupted by the kids, they then move to a superhero brawl at Forbidden Planet in London; where Warlock calls time: if he's being Captain Britain, and Impy Captain America, they're both heroes and can't fight. One of them has to be the bad guy, and Impy's game, taking Clubber Lang, Baron Strucker, and the Viper in rapid succession; to Warlock's Rocky, Nick Fury, and Spider-Woman. The latter makes Impy call foul, as he calls Spider-Woman a friend, and claims he couldn't fight her, even in fun. (When did they ever meet...? Ever?)

The kids dogpile them again, only to get teleported to Moscow. Magik uses one of her "stepping-discs" to drag Warlock to Limbo, and chew him out; but Impy is steamed that his friend is suddenly missing, and turns into Thanos in his anger. (This was 1987, so Thanos had been dead since Marvel Two-In-One Annual #2 in 1977, and his return in Silver Surfer #34 was still like three years away; but this might be the closest to an appearance he'd had in that stretch! And Impossible Man would appear the issue before Thanos's comeback.) Magik returns Warlock to the fight, but he goes in as Captain Marvel, missing a trick to be a Warlock Warlock.

In Japan, in front of a visiting Charles and Diana, Warlock and Impy go at it as the Watcher and Galactus, then Red Ronin and a slightly-off brand Godzilla, before Douglas suggests how Warlock can beat him: Warlock can change color. Impy does not take the loss well, but later they do shake and make up. Just in time for Magneto to come back from his trip...and catch the New Mutants on the news! Busted.

Man, Alan Davis is always great. I feel like I've read his other New Mutants Annual, but can't recollect it off the top of my head. And I should set up an Impossible Man tag one of these days.