Either there's a theme this week, or I'm Groundhog's Day'ing...

There might be a bit that seems familiar this issue, but by god they put a great spin on it. From 1999, Avengers #23, "Showdown" Written by Kurt Busiek, pencils by George Perez, inks by Al Vey.

The entire creative team was firing on all cylinders, and today so was Captain America, recently reunited with his shield after several months with that photonic replacement. Running a training mission in the Mansion, Justice also seemed to be in gear as well; seemingly over his stage fright, even with a broken leg. But, today's main drama was yet to come, as Wanda goes to have a talk with the Vision. She knew he still loved her, even if she was with Wonder Man now; the Vision says, that's his problem, not hers. Simon tries to make things better, by busting in and saying Vision shouldn't bottle up his feelings, and boy, does he uncork something. (The Starkings/Comicraft lettering? Chef's kiss. So good.)

Vision just wants Wanda to be happy, but does have a bone to pick with Simon: he likes jazz! Pretentious bastar--no, that's not the main issue; he also likes chess and Walt Kelly. Simon is thrilled: his brother, Eric, the Grim Reaper, wasn't into any of that stuff; but he and Vision had things in common. This catches Simon a sock to the jaw, since he was missing the point in an epic fashion. And then we pause for a big preview of Doomsday and Young Allies, which really should've had some credits: I'm pretty sure that's Mike McKone and Mark Bagley, respectively.

Wanda is surprised Vision would lash out like that--um, they're superheroes, that's how they work through stuff usually?--and Vision apologizes and takes off, with Simon right behind him. Vision admits, he feels like he was a complete fake: everything he was, was just a copy of Simon's brain engrams: they both had a type, apparently, namely Wanda. He was a pale reflection, no longer needed, but at least Wanda was with the real thing now. Simon turns that back on him, though; surprised Vision didn't know how much Simon envied him. He had made a lot of bad choices, from embezzling from his company to signing up to get super-powers from Baron Zemo; yet had been forgiven or even praised for his 'bravery' over and over. To Simon, the Vision was the best version of himself. Taken aback, Vision needs to think about that, and takes off; leaving Simon to wonder if he would be back...or if he was just something else he had broken. 

The Vision's "am I a real boy" fit has been done a few times, before and since, and swings pretty wildly from writer to writer: I think he is 'real,' with authentic feelings and thoughts, but feels like he has to act like he's just an automaton. Also this issue: the ongoing protests at Avengers' Mansion, which a seeming laundry-list of grievances. Foremost today, the lack of diversity in the current team roster, which would be addressed later. And new bad guys the Exemplars continued to grow their numbers: they were all avatars of assorted Marvel Universe magic, and technically Juggernaut was one of them, even if he doesn't want in...And, a favorite Bullpen Bits strip from Chris Giarrusso!

"Chair."

I wonder if maybe I haven't been confusing Metron's Mobius Chair: didn't Zodac have something similar in the early DC Comics Masters of the Universe comics? For some reason I keep thinking the chair should have runners that are almost like the nacelles on a Star Trek ship, but also convenient for other riders. I kept thinking the chair could hold, um, like a dozen or so X-Men and Teen Titans, even though I know it doesn't!

We don't have Waffle Houses in this neck of the woods, which is kind of a shame but also doesn't really matter, since I haven't gone out for breakfast in a long time. Unless you count like Burger King 2 for $5 breakfast things, which you probably shouldn't.  I know Waffle Houses are a kind of emergency marker: if they're closed, you need to evacuate, like yesterday; but I also think if they sold booze there would be few survivors. I'm pretty sure the guys that make Tekken wanted to have a Waffle House stage, but for some reason were having trouble getting ahold of whoever held the license. Seems like they should've been able to knock it off, though...

And we'll probably discuss more video game figures next time, but do I remember who made that Mortal Kombat Raiden? Ah, we saw him some time back, and he was from Mezco. Do they make mid-range figures anymore? I've seen previews for a One:12 Nightcrawler that I will of course cough up for. But, I think McFarlane has the Mortal Kombat license right now; and I'm mildly curious if it's like Transformers can be: anybody doing the license, starts with the same few guys, and doesn't necessarily get real deep into the roster.

Didn't I do this already? The hell...

This had the Legacy number on the cover as well, but I did have a moment's confusion with this issue and yesterday's book; since I thought Sam was the Captain America in the Black Cat story, but this had Steve on the cover...because this was like 60-some issues prior! From 2019, Avengers #23/LEG #723, "Challenge of the Ghost Riders, Part 2: Hell Race 666" Written by Jason Aaron, art by Stefano Caselli.

"Challenge of the Ghost Riders" sounds like a great cartoon that we'll never get in this failed earth; but this issue a failed exorcism of Robbie Reyes' Hellcharger car has sent Robbie to Hell (or a hell, we've discussed this!) and the Avengers Mountain--the Celestial the team lived in now--was possessed! Daimon Hellstorm--Hellstrom?--is called in, as the demonic entity also takes over several suits of Iron Man's armor. Meanwhile, in Hell, Johnny Blaze explains to Robbie that Ghost Riders love two things: vengeance, and racing. (The mammoth-riding prehistoric Rider is shown, either setting up or tying into later Avengers of 1,000,000 B.C. stuff.) Robbie doesn't wanna, though: he was trying to get rid of the curse, and didn't want to race. Johnny was currently King of Hell, and apparently needed to get stronger to keep his hold on the throne, which meant this race: forced to stop "babying" Robbie, he threatens to take Robbie's brother for a ride, which lights a fire in Robbie...see what I did there? Well, I liked it, anyway.

Back on earth, Hellstorm realizes who the demonic entity was--one of the biggest killers the world had ever known, but not a demon--and of course is knocked out before he can say this early in the story. The race in hell goes badly for Robbie; partly because Johnny cheats and has "zombie cannons" shooting at him, but also the street-racing Hellcharger maybe wasn't the right tool for the job: as he takes a jump for the lead, Johnny yells back "...you're the cocky jackass that took a tank to a motocross race!" But, Robbie is then visited by a gaggle of Ghost Riders--a surprising number of whom wear hats, which I feel is counter-intuitive for guys with their heads on fire--who tell him he's going to have race the Ghost Rider way. I feel like that involves a lot of cackling.

At Avengers Mansion, the demonic presence appears, engulfed in flames like a Human Torch, and taking on Thor and She-Hulk, before revealing himself as...Frank Castle, Cosmic Ghost Rider! Boooooo! Absolutely hate CGR. I don't think I'd take to him even if he wasn't Frank--and honestly, he's so not Frank I still can't believe anybody thought this was a good idea. They should've gone with this guy, or better yet, brought back Ghost Rider 2099. That reveal just let the air out of the Hellcharger's tires for me. Also, while Marvel has pretty firmly established a legacy of Ghost Riders, they often seem to have trouble with what to do with more than one of them at a time? It's not quite like Green Lanterns, where even with several there you can distinguish them: put Johnny, Danny, and Robbie in the same scene and you have to be very careful with their outfits!

Always bet on Black!

Traditionally, whenever Marvel gets a breakout hit, they immediately try to milk--er, capitalize on it, usually by adding a spin-off or ancilliary book. That's how we get stuff like Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty or Black Panther and the Agents of Wakanda or Fantastic Force and usually the heat dies down pretty quick. The recent Black Cat book is pretty good, probably the least surprising surprise hit ever, and I would not be at all surprised if Marvel was getting another title lined up for her. She just had a guest-spot in Fantastic Four, and recently guested in Avengers as well: from 2025, Avengers #23/LEG #789, "The Casino Job, part 2" Written by Jed MacKay, art by Farid Karami. Cover by Valerio Schiti.

This title's current ongoing plot involved something called the "Missing Moment," and the Avengers were trying to get a MacGuffin, a data file of Kang's, from the Grandmaster's casino. Some of the team, notably Storm and the Scarlet Witch, seem to be having fun with the idea of a heist or a caper, and it goes flawlessly...until they find the file already stolen, by Kang, the Black Cat, and one of the greatest thieves ever...Walter Hardy! Kang and the Cat lead the Avengers on a chase through the casino, that's pretty obviously a feint; and the story is interspersed with flashbacks of Kang recruiting Felicia, including taking her back to right before the dinosaurs were wiped out, to make a point of what they were up against. But, they've also hired some muscle: the Technet! Love to see those doofuses again. Felicia and Kang's pitch is amusing as well: sure, the Avengers are tough, but they wouldn't kill you, so easy money, right? Okay, maybe you take a few lumps, but...

While the Technet are "possessed of myriad bizarre gifts...chief among them being sheer aggravation" they're at best only going to slow the Avengers down: Joyboy does turn Iron Man into his "deepest wish," namely, Captain America! Tony is mortified, but the rest of the team largely no-sells the Technet: Thug and Ferro² never had a chance against the Vision, and Wanda nopes Scatterbrain's power--unfair! Kang and Felicia are cornered, and Tony lectures her a bit, but she wasn't doing this for money: she did things for the experience, and wanted to work with her daddy, Walter. Who was long gone with the data file. Which was the cue, for Kang to revert to type: he had seemed relatively friendly and almost charming with Felicia, but now it was time for his fleet to destroy the Grandmaster's "speculatorium" casino and the Avengers! All of which is being watched by the Grandmaster and mysterious baddie Myrddin, who have some bet on this: somehow Myrddin is less surprised by this heelturn; the Grandmaster should know Kang is a dick.

Like that Immortal Thor issue the other day, this was one of a smattering of pretty recent Marvel books fished out of the cheap bins, but I did get all of the Black Cat arc; which I'm not sure moved the Avengers' plot forward a ton but was a solid showcase for her. I do feel like the Black Panther wasn't included here, because he would've seen through the diversion immediately. Still, it's a pretty heavy-hitting Avengers lineup: a lot of their issues that I've read lately have felt a lot like Grant Morrison-Howard Porter era JLA.

I haven't seen the DC animated version of Crisis on Infinite Earths yet, and I know a version of Kingdom Come is still on a lot of fans' wishlists; but for me DC is leaving money on the table having never adapted this one: from 1997, Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone, story and art by Adam Warren, inks by Tom Simmons. 

This was a squarebound Elseworlds book, and I wonder how it sold. OK, looking it up, 21,066 copies? And I have at least two? Ranked 131, but it was at a higher price-point than most of the titles around it...wow, outranked by Superboy and the Ravers #9 and Untold Tales Legend of Captain Marvel? Sometimes I just want to take comics, as a collective, by the ear and have a little word with it...Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone is just good, man. It's exceedingly well-crafted and despite not really featuring the classic Teen Titans still says a lot about them.

In a far-flung future, a young witch realizes her satellite home was going to be in danger. To combat that, she ritualistically puts together a mythical team to fight the threat, patterned after the legendary Teen Titans. While she was the magic-y 'Raven' type, she recruits an energy alien living in a human corpse and a girl with a decommissioned military cyborg body as her 'Starfire' and 'Cyborg.' The last team member is her ex-boyfriend, but running a programed personality, of a certain famously brooding superhero, who describes "Dick" to a T: "A good-natured thug, lacking super-powers, but well-armed with a positive attitude." The new team has to face a colossal military death machine running amuck, but the witch is confident since in the super-hero myths "...in the end, the good guys never, ever, ever lose!" Maybe, but there might be more to that...

So, this has been reprinted at least once; and that Comichron sales page kicked over to eBay links to this one: there's several out there on the cheap, and I highly recommend it.

This month, Thor picks a fight with his buddy's dad.

I think I've read several issues of this series from the dollar bins, but maybe none in order. Still, we'll see if this one does anything for us: from 2024, Immortal Thor #14, "The Wheel" Written by Al Ewing, art by Janeth Bazaldúa Nava. Cover by Alex Ross.

This issue opens with a flashback to the mythical origin of Zeus: his mother, Rhea, had gone to the earth-mother Gaea for help. Namely, how to keep the Titan Cronus, from eating her son Zeus? Gaea substitutes a magic rock, for Rhea to feed to Cronus in Zeus's stead, then gets kind of creepy and grabby: she considers if Zeus could be useful, in the future, was he the one...? She decides no, but maybe he could be a final test for that chosen one.

Millenia later, Thor and Hercules find the resurrected Zeus, in a dark dimension of endless night. He had been killed by Nyx, who seemed to have a lot of power there, but she, like the rest of them, was seemingly trapped in that dimension by a rune of Loki's. (Actually, although he may have used it, I don't think it was Loki's rune.) Loki was currently appearing as a younger man, and shows up with Athena, who seems to have gone a bit dark and spacey, filled with "the wisdom beyond wisdom." They give Thor some clues about his current test, before Zeus returns, now partnered up with Nyx, and intent on killing Loki--and incidentally, Thor, Herc, and even Athena--then getting out to start a new race of gods. Still, his vaunted thunderbolts can't even reach Thor: he was currently the All-Father, and could turn the bolts away. Herc notices, that seemed to dismay Loki...

Zeus gets angrier and angrier, as Thor feigns boredom batting away the bolts. But, Hercules realizes, the test was to "take it like a god!" Thor takes on Zeus, hand to hand, and catches about a million volts, but stays in there. Herc turns his attention to Nyx, forgiving her, in an attempt to free them both from an endless cycle of vengeance. He also points out, a realm of eternal night, maybe actually was a good home for her? Nyx realizes, yeah, she could do something there, for herself (and probably without Zeus...) and sends one of her calmer-seeming kids, Hypnos, to go with Hercules back to the "old world." But Zeus and Thor's fight continues: Loki says, his trial wasn't over.

Despite Zeus hitting him with everything, Thor is unhurt: in fact, he's taking in Zeus's power, leaving him smaller and weak, and finally collapsing. Thor now had the power of Odin and Zeus...as well as the mark of the wheel. To be continued! 

I would have to read more of this series in one sitting to be sure, but I wonder if Ewing wasn't trying to see, if the old cycles like Ragnarok couldn't be broken. Can you learn from them, if you have to keep reliving them?

"Yaka."

It's probably still harassment, but do guys still wolf-whistle at girls? Or is it straight to just outright horribleness? I've seen too many Tex Avery cartoons, so wolf-whistles don't seem entirely innocent.

Oh, and I may have to add reference later, but there's a Space: 1999 episode where they very obviously had a foam machine for the weekend and worked it into the plot!

Every time I steal from Doctor Who for Death's Head, drink! The Second Doctor got forcibly regenerated by the Time Lords and was stuck on earth for the Third's early adventures. I want to say it's an Onion headline with the Doctor and the Brigadier: "Neither Boss nor Employee paid enough to deal with each other." 
 

I hope your expression is more Ham's than Spidey's today!

 

I'm not sure if Soul Coughing's reunion tour came anywhere near here, but I don't exactly have my ear to the ground for that sort of thing anymore: I missed Garbage last month, since I didn't hear about it until the day afterwards, and I'm still sore about that one. Anyway, this song has always reminded me of really, really old cartoons; so perfect for today! From 2020, Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham #3/23, written by Zeb Wells, art by Will Robson.

Midway through this mini-series, and Spiders-Ham and Man have been chasing someone that also had a dimensional teleporter: this issue, they're back in WWII, and Spider-Ham has taken...a really off-putting 30's animation style form! He also seems to rhyme a lot, which probably doesn't help: Spidey has a rarely seen somewhat dismayed expression in his eyes, even the webbing pattern on his mask seems downcast. They almost catch the gasmasked malefactor, but he escapes again.

Meanwhile, back on the funny-animal Earth-8311, the collected heroes and villains are going to fight to save their world from becoming less cartoony; as soon as they settle on a name for the event. Captain Americat, and the rest, realize they kinda miss Spider-Ham; and settle on the event name "Aporkalypse!" Ham sees this, in an inset panel...Using the power of the Bee-yonder, the Spiders chase the bad guy, first through a gritty Dark Knight-style universe, then a comic strip version; with Spider-Ham changing to match both times. They then fall into the space between universes, where Spider-Ham sticks his head through a hole and can see the story, like it's a comic book! (The newspaper strip-style J.Jonah Jameson yells as they depart "WE DON'T GET META AROUND HERE! WE SERVE AN OLDER AUDIENCE!") Ham also peeks in on the crossover, a pretty solid double-pager, and hey, there's a Nightcrawler in there! You know I'm all about that nonsense.

After a lot of gawking through at other points in the story, the Spiders have a moment for what is probably the throughline for this one: Ham was feeling like he was always in the way, or didn't fit in, which was why the Bee-yonder was changing him to 'fit' wherever they went. Spidey has to admit, Ham was a hero, and had a lot of fight in him, even if nothing else made a helluva lot of sense. In a devastated future, the Spiders catch up with the bad guy, as Cap and the X-imals do the same on 8311, setting up a double reveal: Spider-Ham is right, it's pretty cool, for Kangaroo the Conqueror! Who blames Spider-Ham for the destruction of their world!

Solid fun, even if Spidey looks (and acts) like he would rather be anywhere else. Also, I feel like the cover is a homage to something, but can't nail it down. 
 

A pleasant side effect of having been at my job about as long as I've been at this blog, is that I do get a fair bit of vacation time; so I took a little extra time off last week. Which somehow didn't translate into getting any posts done: I couldn't tell you when I wrote, or rewrote, that Warlord post from Friday, but it was scheduled for next year or later and I had to move it up. But, somewhere in that time off I picked up a spare of the next issue, the conclusion of the "Morgan's Quest" storyline! From 1987, Warlord #116, "Revenge of the Warlock" Written by Michael Fleisher, art by Ron Randall. Cover by Mike Grell.

Tara is gracious enough to accept Mariah's apology, for trying to steal her husband with magic; again, it's ambiguous if most of the cast here was monogamous, but okay. Still, Travis's quest to find a cure for his daughter Jennifer, who had been magically aged back in #100, had come up short. While Jennifer seemed too old to stay awake or even move anymore, Travis was distraught. Meanwhile, in the nearby kingdom of P'thun, the wizard that gave Morgan the info at the start of his quest, Muldahara, uses a magic wand to murder the king and takes over. We mentioned Muldahara, possibly not by name, in an earlier post about the Quest, as "a lisping, scheming, effete fat ponce; that was (even) a little offensive back in 1985." I suppose they might have wanted to avoid just doing Deimos again, though. Tara had a spy in P'thun, though, who reports back; and Travis realizes there was something fishy about Muldahara: he had retrieved some mystic doodad for the wizard, to get the quest details, and perhaps felt responsible. He storms off, telling Tara he was in a bad mood and didn't want her to see it; leaving Tara wondering how much of that she was willing to put up with.

While being bathed in "costly unguents"--well, if that's your thing, I guess--Muldahara has a little flashback: he had seen a local demigod-statue-creature-thing give Jennifer the zap that aged her, then used Travis to get the gems that were the statue's eyes, and transferred those to his magic wand. So, the whole Quest was a red herring? I wonder if that was planned from the start. Travis finds the way to P'thun now has a massive hedge maze, but the magic ring he got in #114 and used to see through Desaad's illusions helps him, for about three seconds, until Muldahara sets a hedge monster on him. Then, yay, new subplot! Gotta be an improvement from the Mariah/Machiste one, right? That one wasn't awful, but maybe as repetitive as the Quest, while Mariah pined for Morgan like the whole way. This was the return of CIA spook/epic grudge holder Redmond, from Warlord Annual #5: after getting more information about the Mayans that emerged from the center of the earth, he realized that sounded like reports he had read about Dinosaur Island, from really old Suicide Squad stories, which is sorta uncharted but the general directions were there. Skartaris was originally a world inside of the earth, but was now more generally accepted as some extradimensional area, accessible from a few places. Like Dinosaur Island! Redmond hits a pterodactyl with his plane and goes down: I took a look at the covers, and I can't recall how long he would be chasing Travis. That plot was also a bit similar to one later with a guy named Maddox, who also hated Travis so much he followed him to another world, which is weird that it happened twice. Two final points: Redmond crash-landing his jet echoes Morgan crashing one in that annual, with even the dialog similar; and he was going to friggin' Dinosaur Island, yet seemed real surprised by that pterodactyl. What did you expect?

Anyway, the issue at hand: Travis realizes he can set the hedge monster on fire, and does. Even through he had a bad rep at the time, Travis still storms past the guards, to confront Muldahara, who is just giddy that he gets to kill Morgan up close. Using his wand, he ages Travis's sword to dust--that sword with the knuckle guard was pretty iconic!--and plays 'tag' with him, zapping him a couple years older repeatedly. Back in Shamballah, Jennifer senses her dad's danger, and teleports there: while frail, she was still "sorceress supreme," and destroys Muldahara's wand. A probably 90-year-old Travis clocks Muldahara, knocking him out; but then he and Jennifer revert to their true ages. So, not only was the whole quest thing pretty much for nothing (aside from dealing with the threats they found on the way in all the sidequests!) Jennifer ends up saving herself!

Meanwhile, a pretty blonde arrives in the city of thieves, Bandakhar. A pretty blonde with super-strength! It's Power Girl, who would hang out with Jennifer until #122. (The book would be refurbished a bit after that with new artists Jan Duursema and Tom Mandrake.) She had recently been established as Atlantean instead of Kryptonian, and somebody probably got handed the assignment of trying to make something of that. I know Power Girl has had some supporting casts since, but I wish Jennifer still got to hang: they were a good team, and Jennifer's classic green outfit is sharp as hell. 

Also this issue: yet another USPS Statement of Ownership. Number of copies sold closest to the filing date: 67,781. Ouch, we saw a Statement for #104, and that's down from 88,462!