"Beams."

I'm positive Kurt's idea is from the Simpsons/Futurama crossover episode: in what passes for continuity, Bender is still in Homer's basement, going back to the 31st century the long way. I don't know if I've entirely figured out Death's Head's new career, but I might have an idea. Also, again like the third Doctor Who, whatever Mobius did to DH has him stuck in 2025: he can't steal or build a time machine, or at least that's what he thinks. 

Cease that infernal whistling!

I don't think I picked them all up at once, but I think I got most of Marvel's ninety-nine cent Over the Edge book--there's one with an Elektra cover and nice logo placement that I'll have to check for. This one's a little more basic, but fun for the price! From 1996, Over the Edge #3, "Toad's Night Out!" Written by Ralph Macchio, pencils by Stephen B. Jones (credited as J. B. Jones) and inks by Mike Witherby.

Although not written by Peter David, this is set during one of my favorite stretches of his run; where Betty and Bruce were living together incognito, and Bruce often wore head-to-toe bandages to move around in society. After their car breaks down on the scenic route (possibly from lugging the Hulk around!) they're forced to make a stop in a small town called Blackberry, and have to stay over night while parts are ordered from Mount Pilot...that sounds familiar somehow. A local, looking somewhat crazed, warns Betty that they should get out of town while they still could. Bruce shrugs it off as a nut, and anyway, he was the Hulk; what did they have to worry about? The locals creep Betty out, particulary a waitress that appeared to have scales; but Bruce ignores that to be polite, since she didn't make a scene at his (bandaged) appearance. But someone does see the Hulk unwrapped, as he reads a Stephen King story, "Rainy Season." Bruce seems to find it a bit out there, but it's also appropriate here.

After Bruce falls asleep, Betty sneaks out to investigate: she looks a bit too young here, but also super 90's. Far less 90's: the yokels at the police station, who are very obviously Andy and Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith Show. Betty lifts a gun, and goes back to tell Bruce something is up at the local steel mill: Bruce agrees to check it out, happy wife happy life, but only gets as far as the door before the Toad Men show up! They had first invaded, and hassled the Hulk, back in his second issue in 1962. The Hulk points out it was actually Banner that stopped them before, not the Hulk; but they were small and kind of silly looking and tough to take seriously, even if they were dangerous.

Despite a magnetic trap and the biggest, strongest Toad Man; they are again routed and driven away by the Hulk. But then the twist: the locals had wanted to go to Toadworld! Beats the heck out of wasting away in some nothing small town. And the Toad Men ladies were allegedly quite a draw. (Once you go toad, you never--no, I don't want to know.) Bruce and Betty leave after their car is fixed, but the emperor of the Toad Men promises they will return. They're possibly best known for also hassling She-Hulk in her second Byrne issue, and hey, they can't all be Kree or Skrull or Shi'ar. I kinda like the idea that the Marvel Universe is full of alien races like this, that maybe don't have the huge star-spanning empires, but are maybe technologically advanced enough or so inconveniently located that it would be a hassle for one of the big empires to take 'em. Also, I think I just remembered a long-forgotten bit of resentment I had for the Andy Griffith Show: decades ago on TBS, they ran Lost in Space Sunday mornings, immediately followed by Andy Griffith. So the Robinson family would face yet another cliffhanger ending...then that damn whistling! I associate that theme with the end of fun; but I'm pretty sure that's just me.

A tech billionaire that exploits people? Stop the press.

Despite reading a lot of Milestone, I've only read a bit of Hardware, but I love this issue: the cover was maybe the first time I realized, most superhero costumes do look better on a woman! From 1993, Hardware #9, "Software!" Written by Brian McDonald, pencils by Arvell Jones, inks by Denys Cowan.

Hardware, Curtiss Metcalf, had previously learned that his mentor Edwin Alva was not a benevolent philanthropist; but was in fact a predatory, credit-stealing bastard. He was also involved in organized crime and probably more than a bit racist; but maybe not quite the main bad guy like he would be on Static Shock: I want to say, think Lex Luthor, with more hair, and maybe more hands-on in exploiting his underlings. Curtiss created his Hardware armor to fight back, attacking Alva's illegal operations; and today was called into Alva's office to watch video of that. Curtiss thinks he's been found out, but Alva was instead giving him the assignment of defeating Hardware, which mainly seemed to be reverse engineering his tech. He's also given a research partner, the striking Tiffany Evans.

Curtiss sandbags, subtly sabotaging the project; although he struggled to do so in a way that Tiffany wouldn't immediately figure out. Still, she eventually did, and Alva threatens to sue Curtiss unless his performance improved. (Contractual agreements seemed to be Hardware's Kryptonite; I don't think he could just quit working for Alva.) Stymied, he presents Alva with a new design, which vaguely resembles the Robot from the 1998 Lost in Space movie with more guns. While Alva approves, Tiffany argues that was the wrong way to go, and they needed to go after Hardware's weaknesses: he was bigger and bulkier, but that flight gear would be far more efficient on a smaller frame...say, a woman's. Curtiss is then forced to help work on armor for Tiffany, and has trouble talking to her about it without seeming like an overprotective, sexist jerk.

When the Technique armor is ready, Alva has information leaked about a shipment from Columbia. Even knowing it was a trap, Curtiss still can't let Alva bring in drugs, but it was entirely a trap: the only cargo was Technique, who mops the floor with him for a bit. (Tiffany didn't know Alva was a louse yet, so he probably didn't bring in drugs to keep her on his side.) Hardware eventually knocks her out, or she's playing possum: when he tries to download her system, he gets a virus that activates his flight rig, launching him straight up! And at least in these early stories, fuel was a serious concern: while Curtiss manages to take back manual control and save himself, he also takes a big fall when the fuel runs out. Taking a couple days off to recover, he still has a note delivered to Tiffany, congratulating her for her success, and admitting she had a lot to teach him. 

The only trouble is, I think this was actually a fill-in issue: Milestone used to be strict about getting books out on time! Regular writer Dwayne McDuffie would be back the next month, so I'm not sure if Technique would return for some time. We saw a later Technique appearance some time back, but that would've been a couple years later.

I'm glad the movies didn't go with that outfit, but Stephen Dorff would've been terrifying in it.

I watched Night of the Hunter a week or two back, and even if you're not into older movies (it's from 1955) it holds up. Robert Mitchum plays Harry Powell, a 'preacher,' who's actually a serial killer, marrying for money and then killing his brides. He has "L-O-V-E" tattooed on the knuckles of one hand, and "H-A-T-E" on the other, a bit I know has been used elsewhere; but honestly the preacher outfit with the hat and string tie maybe scare me more. Somebody shows up wearing those, I'm out of there like they were wearing a hockey mask and bloody smock. I don't know if it's a callback to NotH, but the bad guy today has that outfit: probably would've looked evil and creepy without it, but it ices the cake! From 1995, Blade the Vampire Hunter #7, "Bad to the Bone" Written by Ian Edginton, pencils by Douglas H. Wheatley, inks by Steve Moncuse.

The bad guy in question is Deacon Frost, the vampire that attacked Blade's mom before he was born, making him what he was. Frost had been dead, possibly more than once, but here as he attacks Blade's friend Bible John, he explains how an amateur wizard accidentally brought him back, and how he was going to be a new god for vampires. Later, fighting Blade, Deacon says "the vampire race has become mired in the cliche of its own mythos," which seems remarkably forward-thinking for somebody dressed like that. He also doesn't appear to have the old weaknesses, and transforms into a bunch of rats after Blade stabs him through the heart. (Um, the technical term is a mischief of rats!) It's an impressive move; or at least it would've been before I saw this Oglaf strip.

For his part, this is a kinder, gentler Blade than usual: he appears to be trying to have a life outside of hunting vampires, maybe improve his work-life balance a bit. He takes care of the injured Bible John rather than chasing Deacon at all costs. But, taking John to the hospital was a tactical error, as they would probably throw John back in the asylum when he was better...! (Somehow vampires were not commonly known in the Marvel U. then, so someone devoting their life to their study and extermination probably did seem a nut.) Blade knows only one person can help him here, probably not his favorite person either: Morbius! 

I tried to look up, if Deacon Frost was ever portrayed consistently; because if he looked like that before turning into a vampire...Anyway, probably not, but Frost also had a weird doppelgänger-generation power, just to confuse the issue further.

There's definitely an Onion headline that applies for Wolvie there.

Whelp, just spent a hour writing a post, for a book I'd already blogged; so I'd best triple-check I haven't hit this one before, since I'm positive I've bought it three times. (I can see two from here, so...) So far it looks like I haven't, so here goes! From 2001, Paradise X: Heralds #1, plot and cover by Alex Ross, plot and script by Jim Krueger, art by Steve Pugh. 

This would be a prequel to Paradise X, the third and final chapter of Ross and Krueger's Earth X trilogy; and begins with X-51 recovering, and restoring, the Logan from "Days of Future Past," Earth-811. (I'm nerdy, but not nerdy enough to remember earth designations like that of the top of my head!) While he could be resurrected, X-51 sadly tells Logan his friends could not; and Logan recognizes where he was, since he had been there before: the Watcher's home on the moon. (Like the Onion said, "Man Experiencing First Real Moment of Peace in Years Resuscitated.")

X-51 introduces him to the team he had put together, collected from the multiverse, some of which would have even been familiar to Logan: the vampire Ororo, Bloodstorm; the MC2 Spider-Girl, Killraven, Deathlok, Iron Man 2020, and a Hyperion. (Logan recognizes May as "Parker's kid" by scent, which grosses her out.) They also pass by the naysaying old Watcher Uatu, who was basically a big blind face at this point. X-51 gives the quick version of what he had learned, about the multiverse, divergent timelines, Mephisto, and primarily, the Celestial egg planted in earths across the multiverse. (That plot point is probably the legacy of the Earth X books, as it's crossed over into 616 and movie continuity.) He wanted the team to warn the Reed Richards of those worlds; then he would use Uatu's stuff to reward the heralds accordingly. (Killraven and Logan both point out, their earths sucked and were probably past saving, but X-51 had found others.) The heroes are paired up, with X-51 going with Hyperion; as they are transported by familiar-looking big black monoliths...

Hyperion and X-51 arrive on an earth taken over by Kulan Gath (around Uncanny X-Men #190!) and Reed Richards had just been strung up. Deathlok and Killraven get a world ruled by Satyrnin, which does have a lot of armored goons for them to blast. IM 2020 is paired off with Bloodstorm, feeling that he was because he would've been protected from the vampire, but they find a world apparently full of 'em. Logan and Spider-Girl show up at a White House, to see President Richards...perhaps better known as the Brute!

I hesitate to mention this, since I have an irrational fear of anyone horning in on my search; but I read all the Earth X books as they came out, and since my old copies have been read many times I have been putting together another run of them from the cheap bins. Checking the pile I have handy, I had most of Earth and Universe, but needed about 12 of Paradise X. There were maybe 14 issues of that one, since they ran from #0 to #X because of course they do. Still, I had new copies of all three of Heralds, and I think I have all of the one-shots like Xen and Cap, which I thought would be tough to gather up. I've been picking at that for some time, it seems to come in chunks, but I might be making some headway.

"Kick."

Every time there's a toy show, there's always some figure I buy that I'm later asking "why?" and probably a couple I'm kicking myself for not buying. This time around I bought a Marvel Legends Toad--I think the first series one, that kind of sucks? He's dingy and not as articulated as a usual Legends figure, since I think he was repurposed into that line. And I didn't buy a Dr. Doom with a very sharp aftermarket cloth cape, or the Marvel Super-Heroes video game Thanos! The latter had been part of a set with Psylocke and may be tough to dig up now. That said, I did get a coupon for Never Enough Toys, and I'll be checking them out later today--as I type this, anyway, this won't post for a bit! (I got a DCUC Cyborg Superman, and um, the Widow-mom from the Black Widow movie. Melina Vostokova, or such. That's at least the second time I've got a figure from a two-pack there, and the more desirable one at that!)

How many strips have I done with figures from video games that I don't play? A goddamn ton! But I love the first two Marvel Capcom games: I was never really good at the combo system on the third. I don't think current fighting games go for the leftfield, oddball characters anymore, though; like Shuma-Gorath. (The Tekken series is another, that I think used to have so many weirdos and has largely phased them out?) Anyway, so far Shuma's the only one of the recent video game Legends that I've picked up, because he was the only new character for me: I have Psylocke, Silver Samurai, Juggernaut figures.

   

For Blackheart, I wanted to emulate his "Heart of Darkness" hyper combo; and I had those Shadow Demons from Super 7's Dungeons & Dragons . That was probably half off retail at Ross, but good luck: I've seen a bit of Super 7 backstock there, but it's a crapshoot. I did see Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Skull at one; much cheaper, but then getting him without Bulk seems like getting David Spade without Chris Farley. OK, maybe not that bad.  .

It was the most profitable camping trip ever, I guess?

Some IMDB links to back this up: if I recollect, aside from side stuff, there's three proper movies in the Blair Witch franchise. (Or 'franchise,' depending on your opinion!) First there was 1999's the Blair Witch Project, which was absurdly profitable since it cost figuratively about $60 to make, and kicked off a barrage of 'found footage' horror that continues to this day. It was quickly followed by Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 in 2000, and I am not 100% sure I, or anyone, saw that one; although I'm pretty sure they advertised the hell out of it in comics of the time and it had the mandatory nu-metal soundtrack to show they had a budget now. They tried again in 2016 with Blair Witch, which was more of a direct sequel to the first; I had it on in the background last month and am unsure on the title character's powers? Best guess, the Blair Witch can make people stand in the corner, interferes with wi-fi, and can mimic voices like the Predator? Geez, pick a lane already...But why should filmmakers and producers be the only ones to cash in here? Why not Mark and Sergio? From 1999, Sergio Aragonés' Blair Which? #1, story by Sergio Aragonés and Mark Evanier, art by Sergio Aragonés, letters by Stan Sakai.

Sleepy, small town Burkittsville MD is a typical American hamlet; in that it's full of rubes and loudmouths. When word gets out some college kids are filming a "movie" in the woods, rumors and stories fly; mostly of lies parents told their kids to try and get them to behave, or at least shut up for five minutes. "The Blair Witch will get you if you don't stop touching yourself," that sort of thing. As talk spreads, a group of scouts head out for a camping trip, including one with a Hi-8 camera and a dream: to shoot a documentary about a fake horror legend and sell it for big bucks!

But, the scouts are close enough that the hopelessly lost and terrified college kids can hear them yelling and roughhousing (although apparently not talking normally) as well as find bizarre items like cairns of stones (where the scouts buried their trash) and weird pagan crosses (failed craft project/bear traps). The scouts also find the creepy house in the woods, explore it, get bored, and leave; all before the college kids arrive. And the end of the movie occurs, as a demolition crew implodes the derelict house! The tapes are later found, thrown away, found again, sent to Hollywood as a joke, and the rest is history!

I'm guessing Sergio and Mark didn't like that one. Although, that could be jealousy over the dump trucks full of money somebody made outta that. (Not the actors, pretty sure they were shorted there!) I don't think I had this issue new, but they (and Dark Horse) appeared to get this out pretty quick: gotta strike while the iron is hot, I suppose. Aside from craft, repetition, and craft, a lot of Sergio and Mark's career seems to be based on "no one could be that stupid!"/someone is of course that stupid, and they were 110% correct there.

This specifically doesn't count; and yet, here we are!

I did check a couple stores and more than a few bins, to see if I lucked into another iteration of Avengers #23: Bendis had one in 2012, Hickman in 2014 that looks like the new issue of 'Infinity,', and course there were stacks of variants and spin-offs: West Coast, New, Academy, Savage, Spotlight, Uncanny...the point is just that comics numbering is largely a nightmare and probably a hindrance to new readers. But, we've got one more issue, partly because I think I've bought it more than once and keep forgetting! From 1994, Avengers Annual #23, "Strangers on an Astral Plane" Written by Roy Thomas, art by John Buscema.

Yes, it's a riff on the Hitchcock classic Strangers on a Train, albeit in a bit more forced way. Pluto and Loki bump into each other, on a distant astral plane: Pluto was currently forbidden by Zeus from leaving Hades, while Loki was trapped in Mephisto's hell, yet they seem to be out for a little constitutional. And, Loki suggests, maybe they can help each other out: Loki could bump off Hercules, while Pluto wacked Thor. They would be able to look innocent; or at least set up alibis ahead of time. Back at Avengers' Mansion, it's two of the main activities we usually see there: training and brooding! Hercules and Captain America are both distracted and gloomy today. There's probably a board for it somewhere, like you see at daycares or animal sanctuaries.

In Hades, Loki frees the Titan Typhon, who should just be happy to get away from the torture, but wanted revenge against Herc and the Avengers for beating him way back in Avengers #50; also by Roy and John! Loki also frees some other Titans, partly because they jumped him, but also because Hercules would probably have back-up. He maybe didn't have to worry; since when the Titans attack Herc at a fancy restaurant, Herc refrains from calling the Avengers, but his ID card is activated in the fight. The Avengers don't arrive in time, as the Titans escape with the captured Herc, for a quick trip back to Hades, to dip Herc in the waters of the river Lethe, which brings forgetfulness! (This memory loss for Herc was a plot point in the MST3K favorite Hercules Unchained! Although I don't recall if the Lethe was mentioned by name.) Not remembering otherwise, Hercules is easily convinced that Typhon was his pal, and they all had been wrongly sent to Hades by Zeus, which is close enough to crap Zeus actually had done to Herc that it seems true. Sneaking up Mount Olympus, Typhon recovers his axe from a mystic brazier which then goes out, reducing the Olympic pantheon to mere intangible wisps.

The Avengers currently had Thunderstrike on the roster, and while he wasn't as adept at transporting to other realms as Thor, he's able to (eventually) get the team to Olympus: the team had figured Typhon might want to kill Hercules in front of Zeus, and Cap recognizes this as being not unlike Typhon's last appearance. While the Avengers fight the other Titans, it's down to Cap--who was at a low point, the "Fighting Chance" storyline where the Super-Soldier Serum was breaking down in his system. Cap goads Herc with comments about his dead wife and kids, which led to Herc having to complete his Twelve Labors to redeem himself, and in remembering, Herc diverts a river, washing Cap headfirst into a wall. Herc goes after him, intent on maybe showing him how he strangled the Nemean Lion, but the water of Olympus returns his memories. Hercules then rescues Cap, and together they start in on Typhon; with Cap passing his axe to the other Avengers to relight the brazier; even though Typhon reverts to a more horrible tentacled version in the fight.

With the Titans defeated and Zeus and the other Olympians restored, Typhon is questioned but refuses to talk; and Pluto has been chilling with his wife Persephone, innocent as a baby lamb. Still, now Pluto has to make arrangements to re-imprison the Titans...and kill Thor. That would be in Thor Annual #19, which I'm pretty sure wasn't the best. Also this issue: Giant-Man and Vision in "Master of his own Density," story and art by Al Milgrom. An AI "Glitch" that looks like a more articulate Kremzeek tries to take over the Vision. In a training session, Giant-Man realizes the Vision was getting dumber every time he tried to change his density, until Glitch takes over. But Glitch may end up in his own trap...

I went back to add the Pluto/Persephone panel, since it was a very Buscema panel, and great! And I did like to see Herc's concern and honestly, affection, for Cap: like Thor, Herc seems to just like Cap more than the other Avengers usually do.

A Sunday post! Feels like it's been a while since we've had one, but since it's the 23rd, we'll continue our streak of Avengers #23's going--with an asterisk. Despite having a solid batch of the run, my local comic shop did not have Marvel Triple Action #17, nor the original, which would doubtless have been a bit rich for my blood. Luckily, we have a budget-conscious alternative! Reprinted in Essential Avengers #1,1965's Avengers #23, "Once an Avenger..." Written by Stan Lee, pencils by Don Heck, inks by John Romita.

This was the "Cap's Kooky Quartet" phase of the team, with Captain America, Hawkeye, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch; half of whom couldn't stand the other half at any given time. To wit, after the events of the previous issue, Cap had just quit; either because he felt he failed as their leader, or he was sick of those jerks. Hawkeye and Quicksilver keep the sniping going, and I'm just surprised they aren't full-on accusing each other of driving Cap away; while Wanda has a bit of a crush on him and misses watching him workout already. Meanwhile, it appears to have taken Steve Rogers about 30 seconds to get to upstate New York and get a job 'training' boxers, by which I mean thumping them somewhat mercilessly. Well, they were probably the 'learn by doing' types, so okay. Also meanwhile or wherever he is in time, Kang was plotting against the remnants of the Avengers, at their lowest ebb. Step one: add another level to their house. Yeah, that'll teach 'em. Actually, it might: Kang's ship, disguised to the outside world as another story of the mansion, is full of traps and easily defeats the three, who maybe are all missing Cap now.

Kang returns with his captives to his future, and has a gruff meeting with "puppet ruler" Ravonna. So far she seems to hate Kang's guts, considering him a mere "commoner," despite the fact that Kang did have a pretty legit army then. Back at the training camp, the news of the Avengers' capture makes the news, and Steve punches out the current champ so he can take off. Back in the future, the Avengers are trapped in clear cells, but the Scarlet Witch manages to shatter hers, although it takes all her hex juice and she was "vulnerable" and dizzy now, which definitely feels like that's because she's the girl. Realizing they're not on their home turf, the Avengers try to fight it out, despite being swarmed by Kang's guards and gizmos. Kang is perhaps even impressed, since this team didn't have anywhere near the power of the old roster, but was still giving it a go. Hit by strength-sapping beams, only Quicksilver escapes; but Kang is interrupted by a message from the past: Cap has used a "recreater" device of Iron Man's, to see that Kang had taken the team, and now was calling him out.

With Ravonna in his control room, Kang has to play the big man, and opts to bring Cap to the future to show he didn't fear him. To give Cap a chance, Ravonna changes where he would land: Kang knows what she's doing, but goes with it. Quicksilver finds Cap, and together they storm through the guards, to face Kang himself; largely as Kang intended. He's showing off for Ravonna and her royal court, trying to neg her into marriage; and if that didn't work, his army would come down on her kingdom like a ton of bricks. Ravonna has a bit of an aside, that she might have been into Kang maybe, if he'd not tried to impress her with conquering? Hawkeye and the Scarlet Witch rejoin the fight, as Kang signals his army to attack... 

OK, let's set the wayback machine and confirm something: Ravonna appeared--sort of, in a corpse-like state--in 1969's Avengers #71, which was reprinted in Marvel Super Action #32, which I've mentioned was one of my first Avengers comics. MSA #32 would've been on stands late March/early April 1981; the other earliest Avengers I read was #211, which was from June '81! So, now I know which was first.

Recycling doesn't go in the bed! We've talked about this before.

If I'm lucky--if you're lucky--I maybe was able to dig up a copy of Marvel Triple Action #17, which reprints the first Avengers #23. Interestingly, the MTA cover is from "an unaltered stat," since per the GCD, "The Comics Code did not approve of the original because Kang's looming arm was deemed to be too frightening to children." But, if our collective luck ran out, we've got another Avengers #23 in reserve--"New" Avengers? Sure, like that counts! From 2006, New Avengers #23, "New Avengers: Disassembled, part 3" Written by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils by Oliver Coipel, inks by Mark Morales.

Ugh, Civil War trade dress, that's not a good start...I know I'm hardly the first to mention this, but so much of Jessica Jones was taken from the Jessica Drew Spider-Woman, that it feels like it didn't leave much for Spider-Woman? At the start of this one, Jessica is in bed in a hotel room, with beer cans in bed with her: the only thing differentiating her from Jones is, there's only two cans, and she crawls on the wall to answer the door. It's Nick Fury, who says he found her since she registered for the room as "Sybil Dvorak," and he was out from underground because of the ongoing superhero Civil War. Jessica zaps him in the back with her venom blast, which does nothing; since it's an LMD: she can tell by the smell and knows it's Maria Hill controlling it. Maria admits, she was fishing for some info, and maybe a smidge of reasonable doubt that Jess wasn't a traitor...(Jessica had a better sense of smell than a regular person: maybe not as good as Daredevil or Wolverine, but good enough to recognize the LMD. Although, it's fun to think the LMD literally does just smell like a pile of tires.)

Brought in by S.H.I.E.L.D. in about its least friendly phase, Maria says Tony Stark told her Jessica was a triple-agent. Iron Man seems down on her, just because Captain America had believed in her, and he was steamed at Cap. Before Jessica can even finish complaining, the lights go out, Tony's suit freezes up, and the Helicarrier lurches to the side, as HYDRA attacks to get Jessica! Maria is shot a few times, which just seems to knock her down; and as Jess is retrieved a random HYDRA guy scolds Tony, this is what war profiteering gets you, so nyah. S.H.I.E.L.D. barely manages to keep the 'carrier from crashing into Rhode Island, although a few jets may have fallen off and onto a city...

This time, Jessica wakes up on HYDRA Island, offered a cup of tea by a guy she calls Connelly. He's a little disappointed the Helicarrier didn't crash, especially since the EMP they used was a one-off they wouldn't be able to use against S.H.I.E.L.D. again. Still, it was worth it to get Jessica back, since he wanted to pitch her on not just joining HYDRA, but taking over as the new leader. She'd be more stable than Viper, and since her folks were HYDRA she was like a legacy. Jessica appears to consider that, for about two seconds--not even the traditional three--before beating the crap out of Connelly, the guards, and the island, racing away from a massive explosion in a speedboat. (We don't actually get to see Jessica do all the cool stuff to blow up the island, I don't think that fight scenes and action sequences were Bendis's strong suit.) On the last page, Cap is surprised when Jessica shows up at the secret resistance base: she had been looking for Nick Fury, but begs to join, crying, that she had nowhere else to go. I think that's the only page of the issue where she's not in her underwear. 

I've mentioned my sister had a subscription to Spider-Woman when I was a kid, and I think her powers were much, much more limited back then; like she could only use her venom blast like once a day or an hour or something. (Jessica, not my sister...) It might be easy to forget she was super-strong, too; since she wasn't usually the pick-up-a-car type. But I've been watching Bond movies all this week, and Jessica's powers would make about any of them into easy mode!