Do I do this bit every time? Find a random "Legends of the Dead Earth" annual. Look up how many there were, compare that to how many I've blogged, and adjust the odds of hitting them all before said earth dies. There were 25 total, today's book should bring us to 14; place your bets! From 1996, Justice League America Annual #10, "The Alliance" Written by Christopher Priest, pencils by Sergio Cariello, inks by Nick Napolitano. Cover by Phil Jimenez.

After another of his "quantum-leaps" through time, Dr. Samuel Beckett--er, Captain Atom; finds himself seemingly fifteen or so years in the past, in the middle of a battle with the Justice League, as he knew them back then, and a ragtag force with advanced weaponry and armored walkers. Nathaniel figures, well, at least he knows what side he's on...famous last words! That's not the Justice League, they're not the good guys, and this wasn't even earth! Booster Gold turns on the Captain, blasting him from behind; although admittedly he does so after he tells Booster "you always were a screwup." Booster, or rather Michael, is far harder, and way bossier, than we ever see him; although there may be a reason. With both sides now shooting at him, Captain Atom is saved by a woman, who introduces herself as Maxima. Not the one we're used to, but an impressive one! Still, as she flies him to safety, the Captain realizes the landscape wasn't earth, and Maxima seems to have never heard of it.

The faux-JL, the Alliance, gets a visit from their boss, Maxwell Lord IV, who was living in the Lord Havok armor or body? (That would've tied into then-current continuity, around Justice League America #100; which you specifically don't need to read: the author is a disgrace, and Max Lord has been retconned six ways from Sunday.) Max kills his Guy Gardner, finally sick of his lip. Meanwhile, Maxima explains to the armored-down Nathaniel, that she brought him through what she calls the Maelstrom, and he called the quantum-field, to save them. Nathaniel is not down with that right away, but Maxima did have an inside man, who explains things: the Blue Beetle! They were on Warworld--or a Warworld--and Max/Lord Havok used "bio-telemic capsules" to recreate his old League, modifying local humans, including that Beetle. Oh, and earth has probably been dead for so long, that it was barely a fairy tale. Everything he had ever known being gone kind of shakes Nathaniel a bit, who later demands if he helps, Maxima help him get back. She has a counter-offer, dropping her robe...

Nathaniel has alarmingly hairy shoulders in some panels in this one, which probably isn't weird, but you're used to seeing him silver and smooth! Anyway, not unlike the other one, this Maxima wanted a child, a homegrown hero with powers; and Nathaniel wonders if sleeping with her was the right thing to have done, when he gets jumped by the Alliance's Martian Manhunter. He wakes up, in a room that resembles the old League headquarters, with Michael--formerly Booster Gold--speaking to him over intercom. Nathaniel seems to have zero respect for him, even before the reveal that Michael had continued replacing body parts (again, in then-recent continuity, Booster would've lost an arm) and lived past the destruction of earth, eventually being found by Max and setting up on Warworld. Michael likewise doesn't have any respect for Nathaniel, but that was because he wasn't real: Maxima and Beetle had stolen a bio-telemic capsule, and they had used it to create their own Captain Atom! That puts Nathaniel on the back foot for a few pages, as Michael and the Alliance work on him, with Michael pointing out he didn't know any of the personal information the real Captain Atom would...until he does!

Nathaniel was the real thing--the pod had been stolen, but not used, merely for cover. He had been sandbagging it, to give Beetle time to hack the Alliance's systems: Beetle confirms, Max's command pod would self-destruct in six seconds. But, that was an open line, and Max teleports out--all according to plan, as Beetle had sabotaged the teleporter instead, killing Max! Michael manages to briefly get past Maxima, but then is beaten by Nathaniel and Beetle. He tries to escape, and is also killed by the teleporter. In the end, whether or not Maxima was pregnant, Nathaniel says he still needs to get home; it's left open if he ever did. I like to think he totally did, and gave Max and Booster the side-eye from then on. 

Hmm, Legends of Tomorrow last Thursday, Legends of the Law Friday, and Legends of the Dead Earth today! Can't say I planned that, yet here we are.

Read more!

This probably seemed like easy money at the time: with a movie and a regular series coming, why not another series, in the rotating creative team format of Legends of the Dark Knight? Kick it off with the two main writers for the character, and Brent Anderson art and Dave Dorman covers? With violence, grotesque monsters, a fan-favorite character, and musical numbers--wait, what was that last one? From 1995, Judge Dredd: Legends of the Law #4, "The Organ Donors, part 4: Stop the Music, I Wanna Be Sick!" Written by John Wagner and Alan Grant, pencils by Brent Anderson, inks by Jimmy Palmiotti.

We mentioned their musical/sing-along work back when we looked at the classic Wagner/Grant the Last American, but this one features even more prominent muscial numbers! (Note to self: keep an eye out for Grant's the Demon #6.) For singing doctor Euphoriah Bliss, having Judge Dredd and Cadet Anderson on the case are the least of his worries, as the "offal" of discarded corpse parts has clumped together and come for him. Probably a psychic thing. Anderson convinces the dead to go in peace, after they've harvested a few parts from Bliss and done a song. The issue ends with not one but two pages of what almost passes for slapstick in a Dredd comic: Dredd berates a couple victims for not obeying his orders and getting themselves parted out, then goes to repo a heart and charge the recipient with "receiving stolen goods." Wagner and Grant had done the organ piracy bit--and much harder--some time back, in 1983's 2000 AD #300 if not earlier: they seemed pretty sure organ "donations" would be either by bribery or force, and their track record of predictions isn't quite "Simpsons called it" but I wouldn't bet against them.

Strangely, I think this is the first issue of Legends of the Law that I've read! I did try the first issue or three of DC's alternate-continuity Judge Dredd, and would get the rest of it from the quarter bins years later. (We saw the last issue, too: writer Gordon Rennie would later write proper Dredd comics.) The two series may have lasted about the same amount of time--no, a bit longer, than the time from when the Stallone Judge Dredd premiered to its release on VHS. I think I've mentioned before; every couple of years, I think there's no way Judge Dredd could possibly be as bad as I remember...it is, drokk it! It sucks so much! The production values fool you, and then Rob grudding Schneider shows up. I saw it in theatre, I'm probably still bitter. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: Legends of Tomorrow #5!

Every so often in my sporadic DVD purchasing, I see the set for the complete Legends of Tomorrow, which for a good stretch was my favorite show on TV! (Aside: I can't remember the last time I watched a regular-broadcast, first-run show on old-school network TV! Possibly towards the end of the CW's DC shows.) It's mildly annoying, since the first season was only OK, and I have the second season set already: the episode "Raiders of the Lost Art" with George Lucas is where it takes off! Then again, I know I had this issue already, but for a buck I couldn't leave it in the cheap boxes. From 2016, Legends of Tomorrow #5, featuring stories by Len Wein, Keith Giffen, Gerry Conway, and Aaron Lopresti; with art by Aaron Lopresti, Eduardo Pansica, Bilquis Evely, Yildiray Cinar, and more.

This was the penultimate issue of this mini-series, which was three-quarters meat-and-potatoes superhero stuff, and one relaunch that felt like an oddball but might've been a bigger swing: Sugar & Spike by Giffen and Bilquis Evely. They had a long-running series as babies; and here they were young adults, private investigators specializing in superhero weirdness, who could still speak their secret baby-talk to each other if needed. This chapter, Spike recaps their breakout case, where they took down D-list Flash villain Colonel Computron. His tech support friend Bernie isn't especially helpful, and maybe wonders if there isn't sexual tension between the two, with a comment I'm pretty sure put creator Sheldon Mayer spinning in his grave. (I also don't know if it's sexual tension, as much as that Sugar has basically been the boss of Spike, since they were toddlers.)

Also this issue: the traditional Metal Men vs. new Metal Men fight, as the originals face new ones like Ziconium, Silicon, and Copper. Not the old Cooper--er, Copper--but while she seems to be the most stable and mature of the new bunch; Platinum swears she looks familiar, like her creator, Dr. Lace. Copper denies that, but the two teams are probably going to have to work together, as Chemo returns! Doc Magnus is somehow surprised by that; continuity reboots or not, Chemo always comes back, c'mon. Also, Magnus is way younger seeming in this version, and has goggles instead of his pipe!

Firestorm gears up for a final battle with Multiplex, as a bunch of personal stuff hangs over his head--Ronnie was high school age again, and wondering if he should stick with his team, or take a scholarship at a better school; while Jason was having health issues, and the Professor seems particularly boring? Like, more than usual? There's a solid page of him microwaving breakfast before work at his lab! Still, that could be to establish how Professor Stein was isolated and alone and needed the guys and Firestorm nonsense in his life. And in Metamorpho's feature, Sapphire has stolen the Orb of Ra, which later communicates with her, telling her she knows what she was doing was wrong; but god she could be a daddy's girl sometimes. The cliffhanger has Java ready to kill Rex; maybe he had been built up as threatening the rest of this series, but I can't buy it. You'd be better off with the current Metamorpho series there!

Technically, this might be a 100-pager, but it actually has 80 comic pages! I like the package, I like the idea; it's just not my favorite version of some of the characters. Read more!

"Split."

Bit of a transitional one here, I think. We'll see if the Eye of Agamotto meant anything later...maybe! But, you probably remember in Avengers: Infinity War, Strange tells Ebony Maw "You'll find a dead man's spell very hard to break." Would killing him have tied the Eye to him somehow? Or was Strange bluffing? I felt like it was at least some bluff; like Strange at best could've maybe held up the works there. (And of course, it might not work like that in the 616 proper.)

Also, Death's Head did not originate on earth; at least not according to the Marvel Database. I figure he was created for something, but decided "no thanks" and split instead, for the lucrative and rewarding field of freelancing. Why DH needs the money, uh...I feel like he drinks. Maybe not like Machine Man, but still. He can't be spending all his money on capes...  

Read more!

The overall effect is like Wanda declined a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award.

It's weird that Marvel decided they should name a title after their in-universe Necronomicon, and it's weirder that for copyright reasons they're probably going to publish something under that title every so often from now on: there were a bunch in 2021-2022. It's maybe weirdest that thanks to the movies, it's not completely inconceivable that someone might have heard of it! This issue, probably not so much. From 1993, Darkhold: Pages From the Book of Sins #7, "Day of Infamy" Written by Chris Cooper, pencils by Rurik Tyler, inks by Bud LaRosa.

A fairly typical Marvel-misunderstanding brawl between the "Darkhold Redeemers" and Modred the Mystic versus the Scarlet Witch, Agatha Harkness, and Doctor Strange; gets out of hand when they are dive bombed by Japanese Zeros, as in the attack on Pearl Harbor. (Which they point out later, wasn't near Maui!) Wanda stops one of the Zeros, which explodes into a torrent of slime--excuse me, "mnemonic ectoplasm." As Harkness explains how the goo resonates with the human mind and could be potentially limitless, Modred tells them good luck with that, and moves to bail. Strange then tells him he can't, he's under contract; or rather geas. Strange had tricked him: while Modred was bleeding, he swore at Strange that he wouldn't "leave this soil 'till I'm driven hence in defeat!" This is what trash-talking gets you.

The series regulars, the "Darkhold Redeemers"--Montesi, Buchanan, and Professor Hastings--try to find the Darkhold page presumably at the heart of the problem; while Wanda hits the ectoplasm with a hex, that could have an unpredictable effect. Modred goes for a drastic solution, then: if the volcano on Maui were to blow, and everyone on the island were dead, the ectoplasm wouldn't have any memories to react off of, and problem solved!

The Redeemers find an old man, a soldier who was bitter that after all the death he had seen, now the Japanese "were taking over!" Confronted by the horror he was causing, he reins it back in, remembering the dwarf that gave him the Darkhold page, who I don't think the Redeemers had seen before. He dies, and the slime recedes. Presumably, Strange takes care of the volcano, and now the heroes realize the Redeemers were on the side of good...if untrained, largely powerless, and completely outgunned. Still held by the geas, Modred is left trapped on Maui--oh, my heart bleeds--while Strange acknowledges he would probably figure out how to free himself sooner or later. And on the flight home, Buchanan claims to have an idea, how to gather up all the loose pages of the Darkhold, in one fell swoop...I have my doubts. Buchanan was very much the Scully of the group, so I'm not sure where he's going there, and the next issue-box teases "Betrayal, part one!" Modred didn't count, so there were only three characters, and one betrays the others? Feels too early in the game for that, too. 

We've seen horror stuff from Rurik Tyler before; but I remember him mostly for What The--?! strips. Still, Darkhold fell into the same trap as Warheads: starting with an artist with a really distinctive look, then losing them almost immediately.

Read more!

A Joker what's funny? Must be so many universes away.

I was having another of those "geez, did I even read any comics last week?" moments; just long enough to not feel great about it. Then I remembered, oh yeah, didn't I read like all of the 1997 and 1998 Tangent Comics? Like 18 comics in one sitting? I think their version of the Flash was the breakout; and it's a fun book to be sure: a girl born in space with a ton of light powers, has wacky hijinks with her stage-manager of a mom and her dad working for the eeeeeeevil secret-government conspiracy trying to capture her but repeatedly failing in slapstick fashion. (The conspiracy stuff is gloomy and dead-serious across the rest of the Tangent titles, except for her dad!) I liked this one better, although it may or may not have more jokes: from 1997, Tangent Comics/the Joker #1, "Laugh 'till it Hurts!" Written by Karl Kesel, pencils by Matt Haley, inks by Tom Simmons. 

The Tangent Universe was pretty divergent from our world or the usual DCU, since Cuba and Florida were destroyed in a worst-case version of the Cuban Missile Crisis. 35 years later, New Atlantis was a thriving metropolis (not that one!) built out of Atlanta; and now home to new cop John Keel, and mysterious vigilante the Joker. Joker seems to be giving Keel the business, but lures him into giving chase, only to instead find midget mobster Doll Man and his thugs tied up and ready for jail.

Not letting it go, Keel tries to get background on the Joker, and from reporter Lori Lemaris he gets a couple of rumored origins for her, that probably aren't even close. He also tries Higher Atlantis University, where we meet meek Mary Marvel, mocked by a classmate as "girl of a thousand gimmicks." Then, wannabe cult leader Brother Power tries to preach the gospel of the Joker, who is not having it; and shuts down her prospective followers by asking them to follow her, as she leaps off a building.

Keel gets jumped by the Joker, and wakes up in a virtual reality nightmare, part-Joker, part family history: although he had been following orders, his father had been the soldier that launched the missile strike that destroyed Cuba and Florida. After the bomb goes up, Keel comes out of it, in Madame Xanadu's "VR-cade." But, when he catches up to the Joker, he thinks she might have inadvertently revealed her true origin: she was probably the child of survivors of the missile strike, who would have been severely irradiated. They're then interrupted by Doll Man's girlfriend and muscle, Big Barda!

In the end, Keel thinks he maybe understands the Joker, but also knows nothing; and the reader doesn't yet either! There's a brief peek at Joker's hideout, with masks that resemble Lori Lemaris, Mary Marvel, and Madame Xanadu; implying she was all of them. Which would make for a busy day! (No spoilers, but the sequel seemingly backpedals on that.) 

The Tangent Universe was maybe DC's only fifth-week event that they ever revisited; and they still show up here and there. I don't know if this Joker is used much, though; since her cheerful anarchy is now 100% Harley Quinn's schtick, and Kesel has his own Impossible Jones too. (It's great, grab it if you see it!)  

Read more!

Try a silent page, yes?

I'm out today, or I guess tonight when I usually write these, so why not a Death's Head page? We saw the original issue some time back, but this is from the reprint: from 1993, the Incomplete Death's Head #6, reprinting 1989's Death's Head #5, "Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling!" Written by Simon Furman, art by John Higgins.

This would have been after Death's Head II had taken over, and the brief framing sequence finds him speed-running through the original's memories, which seemed to involve punching them again. (Maybe written by Dan Abnett, maybe art by Simon Coleby.) Read more!

From the monkeys on the cover, I was sure this was going to adapt a different story.

I had an eye appointment the other day, and had my pupils dilated for a bit, so I wandered around the mall until I felt like driving. Which got me this book! Haruki Murakami Manga Stories, volume 2, adapted by Jean-Christophe Deveney and PMGL. 

Haruki Murakami is one of my favorite writers; although if you asked me what any one of his novels was about, it's tough to break down. Although, with the three monkeys on the cover of this one, I thought it was going to adapt this brief sequence from The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. 

 Shoot, there's two more volumes of this; I'll have to keep an eye out.

Read more!

"Ergonomic."

I know Marvel has a TVA book out now, but I haven't really glanced at it: I believe it featured Spider-Gwen, Captain Carter, and a Gambit variant. I wonder if they snuck Judge Dredd-pastiche Justice Peace in there too. (Throw Justice Peace into a wave with Spawn-alike Nightwatch; shots fired!)  

My dad (who has a mustache somewhere between Mobius and Ned Flanders!) used to have a kneeling chair for his back; something I've considered but that I don't seem to find at Office Depot or anything? It also feels like that should be cheaper than a regular chair but somehow isn't. 

Read more!