80-Page Thursdays: Action Comics #1000!

This gets into Marvel-style numbering shenanigans; I had thought because of the Action Comics Weekly run, but also because there's Action #23.1 through 23.4! I also thought the jump would be from the previous issue, but no, they had earlier gone from #52 to #957...oh, comics. From 2018, Action Comics #1000, featuring stories from Dan Jurgens, Geoff Johns, Marv Wolfman, Louise Simonson, Paul Dini; and more; and art from Jim Lee, John Cassaday, Jerry Ordway, José Luis García-López, Curt Swan, Rafael Albuquerque, and more. Cover by Jim Lee, but there were like 43 variants to choose from; I think I have the Mike Allred one somewhere. 

Anyway, this is largely a celebration of Superman, what makes him inspiring for all of us; and aside from a couple visits to his 1930's beginnings and one to the future, a lot of the stories seemed to be from the Triangle era, which was probably the heyday of the book for a lot of the creators. I didn't love that it closed, as DC often seems to do now with this kind of milestone book, with an attempt to kick off like the next 1000 issues with a bang; here by introducing Brian Bendis as the writer, and new villain Rogol Zaar. Neither Bendis nor Zaar seemed to take off, there: Zaar is a big, chatty Mongul-type, who claimed to have been responsible for the destruction of Krypton; and this feels like any number of extraneous bits that have been bolted to and subsequently fallen off of the Joe Chill/Batman origin over the years.

But, in the plus column, there's a repurposed Curt Swan, and Butch Guice story, originally written by Cindy Goff but rewritten by Marv Wolfman: four previously unpublished pages from one of the greatest Superman artists ever, that then cheats a bit by reusing a page from Superman: the Secret Years #2, but we'll allow it! It is sad that we've lost Butch Guice and John Cassaday since then, though.  
 

This won't fit in the scanner, so this post is largely to gently bash Bendis a bit and maybe remind myself to not buy yet another copy; but I would be remiss if I didn't try to get a bit of José Luis García-López's "Actionland!" I...I want to go to there. 

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80-Page Thursdays: Avengers Academy Giant-Size #1!

Man alive, when was the last time we had a Marvel 80-pager here? Way back in 2019! But, we've got one I hadn't seen before, with a couple characters that were getting the push at the time, and maybe a couple Marvel's still trying to break big. And, it might set up not one but two series later! From 2011, Avengers Academy Giant-Size #1, written by Paul Tobin, pencils by David Baldeón, inks by Jordi Tarragona.

Full disclosure here, and absolutely personal bias: I don't love the Avengers Academy era. It didn't feel like a great use of some established characters--hey, Hank Pym's not in anything, I guess he's a teacher now. But just from this issue, the Academy kids seem to feel like they're treated like property, forbidden from using their powers unless it's in service to the Avengers or the government. (Pretty sure you should side with the kids, but it sucks that some Avengers get made the bad guys for enforcing that, even if they were getting the screws put to them as well.) On a rare day off in NYC, Reptil, Veil, Finesse, and Striker decide to enjoy the day; even if it's only a day and they were probably being watched by Avengers even if they promised they wouldn't...The kids happen to see Firestar and Spider-Girl fly/swing by, but after they wander off from each other, Reptil and Veil worry the others might have run off, and they might get in trouble themselves if so. Their search is cut short, when while checking out a somewhat suspicious Avengers Academy poster, they get hit by flying bricks and giant robots. No points will be given for guessing the baddie: it's Arcade.

While on their way to meet up with fellow Young Allies member Toro, Spider-Girl and Firestar are lured in by a giant Spider-Girl balloon and captured as well. Arcade intended to put them all in his patented death-traps, but Reptil and Spider-Girl wake up early, so Arcade improvises a competition between them, to score points and save their friends, or at least some of them. He seems to be enjoying creating on the fly; but the whole endeavor was meant to show he still had the juice to kill super-powered heroes, even if they were just kids. (Arcade claims to have killed 'scores' of regular people, an interesting choice of terms!) While gas-girl Veil figures out her trap, Spider-Girl and Reptil run Arcade's wild goose chase: eventually, Arcade murders them all, or at least appears to: no spoiler, but O.G. junior hero Kitty Pryde pulled the same on him, back in Uncanny X-Men #197! 

Traditional as hell: of course the Avengers and the government aren't looking when the kids are kidnapped: they can only surveil to punish you, not help you. This also seems to pretty much set up the later Avengers Arena and Avengers Undercover series with Arcade; but Reptil was the only hero from this issue to appear in those. I don't know if I've seen Reptil lately; which would kind of be standard for a younger hero like that after his book went away; except he was also in the Super-Hero Squad cartoon and comic! I wonder how many years we are away from a childhood fan of his bringing him back. (He did appear in a King in Black issue fairly recently.) 

Firestar...man, Firestar's been around since what, 1981? And Marvel still seems to be at a loss over what to do with her, at least consistently: her most recent appearances were the last West Coast Avengers, where I think she had PTSD and alcoholism, developed after her stint as a double agent against Orchis during the Krakoa era. Which may or may not be an improvement from having to sit at the kid's table? I'm not saying all of Firestar's stories should be sweetness and light, but that feels a bit much.

I had to look up the others: Veil had to give up her powers before they killed her, but Finesse seems to have settled into B-list bad guy for hire work. Her powers seemed like Taskmaster's, but part of her larger plot was that the Academy deemed her among the most likely to become a villain, so she just did. At least a bit; she maybe just didn't want to anything to do with Avengers after that, which, fair. Striker's maybe still out there, but not used for much except maybe crowd filler. The Young Allies Toro was a largish bull-guy, not the old Human Torch's sidekick, but while I thought he would've been phased out when the Liefeld-era girl Bucky was removed, he stuck around at least a little. He might be one of several refugees from alternate earths on 616, but the original Toro came back as an Inhuman, so we might not see YA Toro again.  

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80-Page Thursdays: Infinite Frontier Secret Files #1!

Hmm, I had thought this was from more recently; but it's also our first 80-pager of the year! And it won't really fit in the scanner, but we'll see what we can do. From 2021, Infinite Frontier Secret Files #1, cover by Bryan Hitch.

This was a print collection of six digital-first stories, with the framing device of DEO director Mr. Bones going through various files and reports, since defending the country from the multiverse was also his problem now. Bones also later takes the lead in "Truly Two," as he has to contain a Captain Boomerang, who is also now a Doomsday? I don't love that for Boomerang, but it does have an amusing moment where Bones is distraught that Doomerang was tearing bone spikes from off his back and throwing them at him. (Written by Joshua Williamson and Stephanie Phillips, pencils by Phil Hester, inks by Ande Parks.)

"The Third Question" is a good one, as a man finally comes face to face, with the Psycho-Pirate. Allegedly, if you can put on his Medusa Mask and survive three questions, the Pirate will share his power: this guy makes it to the third, before getting his mind blown; but there may be something even beyond what the Pirate can see...(Written by Joshua Williamson and Dan Watters, art by Christopher Mitten.) 

 But, my favorite bit this issue, was in "The Two Totalities." Martian Manhunters from different realities test their teams, which admittedly weren't the most trustworthy lot; but I liked the meeting room in J'onn's mind, and the meeting table:

The sad thing is, I don't know if there's anybody on J'onn's little team that would appreciate that. (Story by Brandon Thomas and Joshua Williamson, art by Inaki Miranda.)

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80-Page Thursdays: G.I. Combat #205!

I don't have a ton of these, but it was usually a bigger book, and at least eight were 80-pagers: from 1977, G.I. Combat #205.

Three more Haunted Tank stories this month, with them fighting in the Pacific for one, then two back in Germany: the crew nearly gets sent to the Japanese emperor as a trophy, Lt. Jeb Stuart nearly gets sent home on a section-8 for talking to ghosts, and a Nazi tank commander going Captain Ahab after the Tank nearly gets them. All close calls! I would hope this one would have put an end to Jeb's crew worrying about him talking to the ghost, but there were never a lot of continuity in these. (Three stories, all written by Bob Kanigher, art by Sam Glanzman.)

Then, two O.S.S. features: in the first, "Death is a Dummy," the spy agency is 0-for-2 in assassination attempts on Nazi Rudi "the Exterminator" Kelbst. You can tell he's evil, not just because of the name, but his raucous laughter at...a ventriloquist act. (Shudder!) Kelbst was like the ventriloquist's biggest fan; maybe he shouldn't have sent the guy's family to the gas chamber. (Written by Bart Regan, art by E.R. Cruz.) Then, in "60 Minutes to Massacre" an O.S.S. agent has to find out why a tribe on a small Pacific island resists Americans landing there--obviously, they know something of American history. No, a Japanese spy was trying to use them as a weapon; but I still think maybe the tribe shouldn't let anyone on the island? (Written by Bill Dennehy, art by Ric Estrada.)

Round out the book with two more shorts: "Soldier in Pigtails!" and "Stop--War Ahead!" The latter is about a cop turned M.P. but still all cop (grudgingly, in as good a way as possible) and the former a young woman fighting Nazi occupiers with a short, if successful, career as a sniper.

An aside: I picked up a fistful of Garth Ennis's War Stories the other day; I might have to scan those covers for the GCD. Annoyingly, that title was usually three issue arcs, and I don't think I completed a single one! But I would've loved to see Ennis redo that Haunted Tank one with the 'Ahab' commander after them, because he would probably go full Downfall there: "Our tanks are bigger, better armed, better armored. We know the area, the terrain. In a typical engagement, we outnumber our foe four-to-one. SO WHY (desk pounding begins) ARE WE GETTING--REPEATEDLY--CLOWNED BY THIS--THIS BABYTANK, FLYING AN ANTIQUE FLAG FOR FAILURES? HOW?" I'm also trying to recall if General Stuart ever gave, like legit intel, or just seemingly vague advice. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: DC's Spring Breakout! #1

The day I picked this up was a busy one! I had to replace the battery in my car, which took a bit of doing: walk to the O'Reilly's, walk back with the battery, bike back to the hardware store for a ratchet set...I was lucky enough to get done before it started raining, and the rest of the day kind of looked like how everyone thinks it does here all the time: namely, Seattle gray and rainy. But I had to rush, to make it to a sale the next town over! Anyway, I'm nattering on, since this won't fit in the scanner, and it's also appropriate for here that the cover says "Eight Sensational Stories to Spring you Forward" and we look at it the week we fall back! From 2024, DC's Spring Breakout! #1, with stories by Joey Esposito, Thomas Krajewski, Mike W. Barr, and more; and art by Nico Bascuñán, Scott Kolins, Marco Santucci, and more.

Oddly, only maybe two stories seem really spring break-related: the Teen Titans "Relay for your Life," where Robin tries, and mostly fails, at turning a beach day into team-building exercises; and the Metal Men in "The Day the Robot Danced." Has Scott Kolins done other Metal Men stories? Good fit there. Doc Magnus's latest robot has disappeared, Gold has called in sick but really just wanted a day off, and the Doc might've been distracted when sending Iron and Lead to enter a surf contest. A helpful surfer helps Tin get the hang of it, and he also figures out the new robot's problem: namely, it was built to be too serious, which means Doc Magnus took a perfectly good robot and gave it anxiety.

In "Field Trip" Harley Quinn swings back by Belle Reve prison, to bust King Shark out for some birthday fun: I want to say Harley's currently written as well-intentioned but seemingly with the superpower to make bad decisions. The trip involves an alien monster, space, and Metropolis, because that's how she rolls. "Cold Feet" is a character piece with Batman and Mr. Freeze: Bruce Wayne is a wallflower at his own party, until Mr. Freeze shows up. Stalling, Batman explains, without any direct references to himself, that he didn't like to dance, as he had lost his partner, namely, his mom. But he still ended up at balls or cotillions or whatever, and at one a striking ballerina asks him to dance, which both brings him out of himself a little, but also teaches him how to lead...like, to lead Freeze directly into a trap. But, shades of the Gotham TV show here: the ballerina had been Nora, who had been Freeze's fiance at the time--and was at the party! He met young Bruce! That almost feels like Freeze should be putting two-and-two together in the paddy wagon.

Mike W. Barr's "Soul Survivor" maybe doesn't have anything to do with spring break, but didn't Barr create Katana? Yeah, he can do whatever. Superman and Jimmy are catching "Opening Day" for the Metropolis Meteors, and "Shape-Shift in the Park" has an unusual face-off--multiple face-offs!--with Clayface crashing a Shakespeare in the Park thing, and the Martian Manhunter being forced to play opposite him. The Lex Luthor story might be the oddest, as Lex finds himself buried alive, but getting himself out is how he proves to himself that he was better than those who were just "given" powers. But was he President again? Or maybe this was set when he was...? A choice, that also doesn't really sing 'spring break,' but this wasn't bad. I did get another 80-pager, but am mildly disappointed since I had been looking for DC's I Know What You Did Last Crisis, although that one maybe doesn't have the jokes the cover makes you think it might. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: DC Cybernetic Summer #1!

Every so often it gets really hot up here, like to the point that it's probably hazardous to go biking out in it right when I get off work. Or, it's a good excuse to be lazy and read an 80-pager! From 2020, DC Cybernetic Summer #1, with stories by Corinna Bechko, Andrew Constant, Stephanie Phillips, Heath Corson, and more; art by Paul Pelletier, Nik Virella, Scott Koblish, Nicola Scott, and more. Cover by Dan Mora, although how Batman can look so sour while driving the freakin' Metal Men is a mystery. (This one wouldn't fit in the scanner, so the pics are extra janky today; but maybe that'll encourage you to find a copy!)

The opener with Batman, "The Limits of Control," doesn't hit the right notes for summer fun, as Bats points out, "There's no summer in space." He gets out the probably then-current Bat-armor out, to stop Brother Eye from reforming. "Fandom" is closer, as Wonder Woman teams up with Platinum, to stop the other Metal Men, who have been conglomerated into an anime-derived kaiju.

Next, in "Summer Camp" Red Tornado's vacation with his family is interrupted by JL calls and a lost alien; then the real fun: "The Boys of Summer" with Blue Beetle and Booster Gold! When the beach is too crowded, Booster suggests they travel back in time to a less-crowded day...which gets more crowded, since they have so much fun, in the future they keep going back to that day, despite poor Skeets repeated warnings and a visit from King Shark.

"Cybernetic Summer" is a Flash-race, with Barry vs. the Earth-44 Mercury Flash; but then we get the Legion of Super-Heroes, Superboy, and Robot R217, in "Summer Lovin'." Trying to capture an alien, Superboy tags in R217 to cover for him as Clark Kent, and the robot finds himself smitten with a local girl. (Her initials weren't LL; it'd never work out!)

"Out There" pits Midnighter and Apollo against Monsieur Mallah and the Brain; then Harley Quinn and her elderly cyborg pal Sy Borgman try to beat the heat at a water park in "Splish Splash Special."

"Summer Bummer" is a fun one: Robotman's pal Mike doesn't want him to spend the summer moping about, but human stuff isn't as much fun for him. Nor are robot activities super-fun for Mike, but maybe there's something they would both enjoy...? Finally, "Catfish Crisis" is a bit of silliness with Cyborg and Superman against...the Cyborg Superman; until from the multiverse a version of the three of them in one shows up...or does he? Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: Legends of Tomorrow #5!

Every so often in my sporadic DVD purchasing, I see the set for the complete Legends of Tomorrow, which for a good stretch was my favorite show on TV! (Aside: I can't remember the last time I watched a regular-broadcast, first-run show on old-school network TV! Possibly towards the end of the CW's DC shows.) It's mildly annoying, since the first season was only OK, and I have the second season set already: the episode "Raiders of the Lost Art" with George Lucas is where it takes off! Then again, I know I had this issue already, but for a buck I couldn't leave it in the cheap boxes. From 2016, Legends of Tomorrow #5, featuring stories by Len Wein, Keith Giffen, Gerry Conway, and Aaron Lopresti; with art by Aaron Lopresti, Eduardo Pansica, Bilquis Evely, Yildiray Cinar, and more.

This was the penultimate issue of this mini-series, which was three-quarters meat-and-potatoes superhero stuff, and one relaunch that felt like an oddball but might've been a bigger swing: Sugar & Spike by Giffen and Bilquis Evely. They had a long-running series as babies; and here they were young adults, private investigators specializing in superhero weirdness, who could still speak their secret baby-talk to each other if needed. This chapter, Spike recaps their breakout case, where they took down D-list Flash villain Colonel Computron. His tech support friend Bernie isn't especially helpful, and maybe wonders if there isn't sexual tension between the two, with a comment I'm pretty sure put creator Sheldon Mayer spinning in his grave. (I also don't know if it's sexual tension, as much as that Sugar has basically been the boss of Spike, since they were toddlers.)

Also this issue: the traditional Metal Men vs. new Metal Men fight, as the originals face new ones like Ziconium, Silicon, and Copper. Not the old Cooper--er, Copper--but while she seems to be the most stable and mature of the new bunch; Platinum swears she looks familiar, like her creator, Dr. Lace. Copper denies that, but the two teams are probably going to have to work together, as Chemo returns! Doc Magnus is somehow surprised by that; continuity reboots or not, Chemo always comes back, c'mon. Also, Magnus is way younger seeming in this version, and has goggles instead of his pipe!

Firestorm gears up for a final battle with Multiplex, as a bunch of personal stuff hangs over his head--Ronnie was high school age again, and wondering if he should stick with his team, or take a scholarship at a better school; while Jason was having health issues, and the Professor seems particularly boring? Like, more than usual? There's a solid page of him microwaving breakfast before work at his lab! Still, that could be to establish how Professor Stein was isolated and alone and needed the guys and Firestorm nonsense in his life. And in Metamorpho's feature, Sapphire has stolen the Orb of Ra, which later communicates with her, telling her she knows what she was doing was wrong; but god she could be a daddy's girl sometimes. The cliffhanger has Java ready to kill Rex; maybe he had been built up as threatening the rest of this series, but I can't buy it. You'd be better off with the current Metamorpho series there!

Technically, this might be a 100-pager, but it actually has 80 comic pages! I like the package, I like the idea; it's just not my favorite version of some of the characters. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: House of Mystery #252!

I'm slightly swamped with real-world concerns--nothing earth-shaking, just time-consuming and/or labor-intensive--but we haven't had an 80-pager here since January, and that feels long enough. Also, the framing device for this issue reminds me of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so there's that! From 1977, House of Mystery #252, featuring stories by Paul Kupperberg, Sergio Aragonés, David Michelinie, and others; and art by Aragonés, Frank Redondo, Frank Robbins, John Calnan, and others. Cover by Neal Adams!

The House plays a big role this month, as a construction crew has orders to demolish the condemned structure. Slob of a supervisor 'Ralph' (or, at least he's wearing Ralph's helmet!) tells Cain he can take it up with the city, but orders were orders. Cain warns him, he's not the first to trifle with the House, and it's not gone well for others before him. Case in point, the opening story, "The Devil Strikes at My Old Kentucky Home!" A pair of investors buy an delapidated old house to turn into a 'haunted' amusement park; but one is getting a serious bad vibe from the place and can't convince his partner, even when creepies and crawlies start appearing. A mysterious stranger--that's obviously Cain, his silhouette is as distinctive as Batman's!--warns the fraidy-cat partner, while the other one ends up falling out a window. The house--which is of course the capital-H House--is sold at a loss to movie producers, who are scared off immediately by the seemingly self-appointed caretaker, Cain.

"The House Called Blefestry" has a mysterious title and some tight art by Alfredo Alcala; but also reads like several pages fell out of the script. Then, in "The Man Who Saw Tomorrow!" a baron tortures an alchemist for his secret to predicting the future, despite warnings. If you believed the guy could predict the future, maybe you should've listened? Next, A Bucket of Blood--er, "Markham's Masterpiece." Frustrated janitor Markham wants to be a great artist, but lacks time, training, resources, talent...few strikes against him. Then, he saves an old lady from getting hit by a bus, and she gifts him one of her chrome statues. When a museum bigwig sees it later, he thinks maybe Markham's got something after all, and wants to arrange a show; so he befriends the old woman and gets her to give him more and more statues. It's going great, until she sees his feature in the paper, with her statues: well, probably just a mistake, she can clear that right up--yeah, you know what Markham's going to do next, right? Later, Markham is out of her work, and tries her secret workroom; which I kind of doubt was going to go well for him even before the old lady's ghost shows up. Markham would've probably lost both his thumbs if she had let him try his hand at her machines.

"Grim Choice!" is like a horse-racing version of Stephen King's classic "Survivor Type," as a tycoon is disappointed on a buying trip in Argentina, until he spots a suspiciously-fast horse headed for the dog-food factory: the horse had only been caught because it wouldn't leave its mom, and might've had a strong pedigree. The tycoon has visions of the winners' circle; but when their plane goes down in the Andes, he's forced to first kill the other survivors, to keep them from eating the horse, then kill the horse when they run out of hay, then eat the horse to survive until rescue. Yeesh. Of course, no happy ending, which isn't exactly fair play, but oh well. In "Mankillers" a wizard shames a band of barbarians into supporting his campaign to slay some Amazons and take their gold: short, and no sale! Then, back to another House: the House of Secrets! Who is thrilled they're getting rid of that eyesore across the street, the House of Mystery; at least until Joe Orlando and Jenette Kahn show up with big plans to expand, and move Cain and his staff in! HoS spends most of the story giving Abel the business; Orlando and Kahn don't much notice, but aren't thrilled with the new locale anyway.

Meanwhile, Ralph hasn't been swayed by Cain's stories, so now it was time for Destiny to step in--the hooded horror host, that is--with another tale, "From Beyond the Grave!" Nice Alex Nino art here, as an old woman laments her lost fiancé, killed on their wedding day, fifty years ago. When the city workers tell her they have to move his grave, they promise not to disturb him; but she asks if she can have him, for one night...You know, I'm pretty soft-hearted. An old lady crying, hell, I'd probably cave too, even if there's obviously no way anything good was gonna happen there. Even Destiny can't deter Ralph, and the wrecking ball swings for the House...which simply dodges it. That puts the workers off, leaving Cain and Destiny to the House, which might be a bit of a mess: contents may have shifted there. 

Also this issue: another USPS Statement of Ownership. Average number of copies sold during preceding 12 months (total paid circulation): 124,000. Actual number sold for issue nearest filing date (total paid circulation): 87,583.

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80-Page Thursdays: Flash Special #1!

We haven't had an 80-pager here since last August? That seems like a hundred years ago; but then, Flash's 50th anniversary here was 34 years ago...(crumples into dust, like the Flash in Crisis!) From 1990, Flash Special #1, featuring stories by Mark Waid, Len Strazewski, William Messner-Loebs, and one other I won't mention; art by Mike Parobeck, Irv Novick, Carmine Infantino, Grant Miehm, and more.

This one actually fills a bit of a hole for me, since I had been reading Flash on-and-off for some time, and when future Flash John Fox shows up, I didn't know where he had come from. If you go back and re-read those, I'm sure there's probably a caption box somewhere, saying go read this one. John was a historian from the 27th century, who gets sent back in time not for the usual research and whatnot, but an emergency: radioactive villain Manfred Mota was causing widespread devastation, and they needed to find out how the Flashes had beat him before. Never heard of him? Yeah, he's new here too!

In postwar Washington D.C. the Jay Garrick Flash is summoned to the office of J.Edgar Hoover, who doesn't care for mystery-men, but wants the Flash as a "spycatcher!" Jay isn't keen on spying on people who might be innocent, worse, his name is on a list of possible leaks in atomic weapons technology. Jay goes to visit a friend who might have been seen as less than "true-blue" American, but couldn't be a spy; and he's right: the janitor has been lifting stuff, and selling it to Mota, who's built himself a super-suit as "Atom-Smasher." With his friend's help, Jay manages to stop Mota, who wasn't a communist or anything as much as "a guy who liked to blow things up." (This would've been just before the JSA retired, rather than become government stooges.) John gets to see most of the fight, but is recalled before he can talk to Jay.

This keeps going on, as Mota keeps getting thrown in jail, then diving back into radiation and crime when he gets out; eventually melting down and sinking into the earth. John keeps just missing the Flashes, so doesn't learn much of anything; but in the 27th century a radiation surge overloads the time-machine, dosing John with way too many tachyons. John's friends are killed, but John manages to return to the timeline, now with super-speed powers! Raiding the damaged Flash Museum for costume pieces, he makes a quick suit, then manages to lure the now-radioactive monster Mota into position, to send him to the year 50 billion...John says that like Mota would age that whole time, his radioactivity decaying; rather than just dumping his ass in the distant future: damning someone to 50 billion years of solitude seems kinda harsh? Enh. 

John seemed like a slightly-older man here: I want to say he seemed way younger in his later appearances? And while he had a reporter girlfriend here, he would go after Linda Park in the late 20th century; because everyone did. And he'd later get in trouble for stealing time-travel tech, so he maybe moved to the 853rd century: he would be part of Justice Legion A in DC One Million. Either because they needed a speedster type and maybe somebody the present heroes would recognize as mostly-cool; or because he couldn't go back to the 27th century 'til the heat was off.

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80-Page Thursdays: Secret Origins Annual #3!

It's been like half a year since our last 80-pager, so yay! Glad to find another one--aw, the Teen Titans! Shoot. Still, a ton of great creators on this one: from 1989, Secret Origins Annual #3, "Pieces of the Puzzle" Written by George Pérez; pencils by Tom Grummett, Grant Miehm, Irv Novick, Michael Bair, Trevor Von Eeden, Dave Cockrum. Kevin Maguire, M. D. Bright, Colleen Doran, and Dick Giordano; inks by George Pérez, Anthony Van Bruggen, Ty Templeton, Michael Bair, Trevor Von Eeden, Larry Mahlstedt, Karl Kesel, Ian Akin, Brian Garvey, Romeo Tanghal, and Dick Giordano.

Dick Grayson is repeatedly tormented in a dreamlike state by a hooded figure in purple--the Time Trapper? No...I was pretty sure it was going to be that punkass Danny Chase, since I would've swore his costumed identity wore purple, but not him either. There are clues, you might be able to guess if you flip through it! Whoever it is, purple-hood makes Dick relive and recap the history of the Teen Titans, which involves the team breaking up and reforming over and over and over. And over. Along with disparaging Dick at every opportunity; purple-hood also seems to show a lot of interest in Donna Troy--seemingly seeing her as the only thing really holding the team together--and the newly retconned pre-Crisis Bat-Girl, now Flamebird. It doesn't get as creepy-weird as I thought it was going to; that's a plus. There also seems like a lot of page time devoted to Titans West, like "hey, remember when these jerks had their own team? Yeah, they broke up five minutes later."

(I have a theory about that! Donna holds the Titans together, because the guys all love her to various degrees, but with the possible exception of Speedy don't seem to seriously hit on her; because if like Dick and Donna got together and then something happened, the Titans would be over, as a concept. All of the guys in Titans West probably went after Flamebird and were probably all shot down, hard; and the team never gelled like Jello that...didn't gel, I guess.)

I don't think Pérez got enough credit as a writer: he did a run of Silver Surfer that I don't recall as great but should maybe revisit. Here he does a great job stitching together 25 years of assorted Titans comics into one story, along with a few updates, and wrapping it up with the then-current status quo for the team. Maybe if I'd read the book in the Wolfman/Pérez heyday, I'd be more fond of it; but so much infighting and breakups, it's like Fleetwood Mac, the comic. Did Fleetwood Mac even break up that much? I feel like they pushed through it. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: Superman Family #186!

I was looking at the cover for this issue for a while, trying to remember what Lois's pants were called: jodhpurs! Which I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually wear in real life. Also, it's a José Luis García-López cover, but no interior work from him. It feels like a couple strikes against this one already, and then we have Lucy Lane as a platinum blonde in the first story, so...from 1977, Superman Family #186.

"The Bug Lady" of the lead story of course isn't Lucy, but an Aunt May-looking old lady Jimmy Olsen is sent to investigate: she lives with a ton of bugs in her house in the sticks, but the bug-hating owner of a chemical plant is leading a push to have her evicted. After a man is attacked by hornets, the mob is ready to burn her out, but Jimmy isn't having it, even if he has to call in Superman. Jimmy does the legwork, and sure enough the plant owner is in on a real estate scheme; but the insects then attack, driving the citizens out of town, but not biting or stinging anyone. The bug lady had got word of a gas leak at the chemical plant, and warned everyone the only way she could. Everything ends happily, even if the plant owner should be up on charges.

Next, "Save My Friend, Kill Your World!" is the opening chapter of a two-parter, but we saw the conclusion earlier: the insanely powerful Krogg appears on the JLA satellite, accidentally transported there as the Earth-2 Superman was trying to get to Earth-1, since he needed to borrow Jimmy Olsen to save his counterpart. Then, Lois and Superman go to Africa, in search of a GBS reporter lost while exposing a local dictator. To (over)protect Lois, Supes ditches her outside of town, where she gets captured by soldiers when she tries to stop a beating; but when he confronts the dictator he might not be as insane as he sounded. He had Kryptonite, which was somewhat more rare than it used to be, and had a machine that gives him control of Superman! Lois does, um, wear blackface here, as part of a disguise so she and the reporter Melba Manton can overpower some guards, defeat the dictator, and free Supes. And O.J. Simpson is referenced, to make this curdle even harder. ("Dateline: A Kingdom of the Mad" Written by Gerry Conway, art by Win Mortimer and Joe Giella.)

After more Krypto and Nightwing and Flamebird stories, Supergirl fights to save her adopted dad, so he can save her real folks. (Back in the day, both sets of her parents were perfectly nice; in later continuities who knows how many of them went bad?) "Rendevous with Reality" Written by Jack C. Harris, pencils by Alan Weiss, inks by Joe Rubinstein.

Not the best issue of this series I've seen, but every time I find another I'm surprised, so that's something. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: DC Special Series #5!

Or, as the cover puts it, Superman Spectacular! From 1977, "The Second Coming of Superman!" Written by Cary Bates, with an assist from Marin Pasko, based on an idea by John Lamartine; pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Vince Colletta.

The cover says it's an 80-pager, but the title page puts the lie to that immediately, describing it as "an all-new, 63-page epic starring the amazing Man of Steel!" Which might've been the longest single-issue Superman story to date, but it goes in a more unusual direction than the cover--featuring Brainiac and Luthor congratulating each other over Superman's body--would lead you to believe. It's Superman Day in Metropolis, and the usual supporting cast--Lois, Jimmy, Perry, Steve Lombard and Morgan Edge--are part of the parade, having made bets on what Clark's lame excuse for no-showing would be. But, there's a strange visitor to the city: an alien girl, with unusual eyes, and a somewhat familiar-looking S-shaped necklace, which glows as the big man approaches. While Superman races through the sun on his return flight to earth, an earthquake strikes, knocking the head off a massive Superman statue, which nearly crushes some onlookers. Supes arrives in the nick, launching the head of the statue into the ocean--where it lands near Lori Lemaris's Atlantis, which donated it to the surface!

As Lois and everyone chat with Superman--and badmouth Clark a bit--the strange girl feels they aren't showing the proper deference, and uses some invisible power to force them to kneel. We then see, in flashback to the previous day, the Atlanteans sending the Superman statue, as a small UFO passes by, with a pilot with unusual eyes, who is giddy that "the sacred scriptures" were coming to pass. He lands at an island in the Pacific, Quorxa, an alien city protected by a "vibratory shroud" making it invisible. Although, they had a recent visitor, that they were keeping under lock and key...They also had some unusual weather problems, which I wonder if they weren't caused by the vibratory shroud, since "thunder-bomb storms" don't sound normal. Also somewhat abnormal: the giant grotesque Superman effigy "Sonzrr" that protects the city. When the alien pilot delivers his news, he feels they had been worshipping a fraud; but the girl is a true believer: Sonzrr was an idol, in their savior's likeness. Not a true believer: Quorxa's visitor, none other than Lex Luthor! With a teleporting device microscopically implanted in his head, Lex helps himself to their "grkom," or "bible," then heads out to find a translator...

The Quorxans had been on earth over a hundred million years ago, and so was Superman--on a time-travelling visit, anyway. He investigates a mysterious "water-volcano", that was launching millions of tons of material into space, then generates a colossal monster, while draining his power! The psuedo-science explanation involves ectoplasm and prana, so it's more suspect than usual; but Superman had to let himself by swallowed by the monster created from his own imagination so he could re-absorb his own life-essence. Sure. Two Quorxans had witnessed the whole thing, which inexplicably left their people immortal, which led over the centuries, "fascination became infatuation! Puzzlement became blind faith!" Brainiac translates the grkom for a bemused Luthor, who has discovered the ore expelled by the water-volcano was what changed the Quorxans, but could be of a different use for them.

Disguised as a human, the alien girl follows Clark around, wondering why the savior would change clothes and hang around the humans, but they had a version of "the Lord works in mysterious ways" too, and she was open enough to accept humans as his children as much as the Quorxans were. On the other hand, when Steve Lombard tries to splash Clark from his new sports car; that sacrilege will not stand, and she launches him nearly into space! Superman has to make a difficult rescue, which involves saving a popped hot air balloon on the way; but Steve is left sunburned like a lobster. The alien girl realizes she might've gone too far; but then gets a message from home: a Quorxan had died, and others were sick. They need Sonzrr, so Ryla introduces herself, which involves a giant glowing 'S.' Superman has to duck out at super-speed, grab her, and heat-vision the 'S,' before she outs him as Clark. She isn't sure why her god doesn't recognize her, and Superman is quick to tell her, he wasn't a god. But, being Superman, he was still willing to help, so Ryla uses her tech to send them tunnelling at incredible speed through the earth! (Which had caused the earthquake earlier when she arrived!)

The weakened and desperate Quorxans beg 'Sonzrr' to save them, holding up their little glowing crucifix-like 'S's, while Superman tries to figure out what they were on about, but is interrupted by the return of the water-volcano. Concentrating against ectoplasmic drain, Superman thinks he can wrap it up easily enough, but catches a little chin-music first: a Lex Luthor power-glove punch, followed by Brainiac's force field protecting the water-volcano. Oh, and they had set up a jammer, so the ectoplasmic drain was in full effect! The Quorxans watch with a mixture of dread, rapture, and confusion; as the volcano spits chunks of that ore on their island, rejuvenating them. But Superman has a battle on three fronts, since if the water-volcano continued, it could hollow out earth completely...!

After bouncing some rocks off Brainiac into Luthor, the power-drain on Superman becomes critical, and he loses even flight. As Brainiac holds him up by the cape, Luthor blasts Superman with his power glove, launching him to the shores of Quorxa. They then turn off the water-volcano, a good 15 seconds before it would've damaged the planet beyond repair: their science had figured that one out beforehand. But Luthor is then surprised by a mysterious, glowing device; that seems to have absorbed a lot of power...The Quorxans lament the death of their god, as they receive a final, bad sign: their glowing 'S's, have all gone black. Meanwhile, the Luthor/Brainiac team has hit one of their trademark rough patches, as Brainiac has Lex in a headlock, and was going to use the energy siphoned from Superman, to power his shrinking ray: he would now have the power to shrink entire worlds for study. (What Brainiac was trying to discover or learn from shrunken worlds is unclear, although he apparently gets a kick out of it as well.)

The Quorxans had returned to their city, leaving only Ryla mourning over the fallen Superman. But he wasn't quite done yet: he had realized their 'S's had been draining his power already, and had to reabsorb it, which is why they had gone black. He also had been able to hear Brainiac boasting to Lex, and was able to rally enough to beat the shrinking ray into space and retake his power from that, then lay down a mighty thumping on them. Witnessed only by Ryla, who writes a new book of the Quorxans' scripture...

The Quorxans were never seen again after this one, but they weren't even the only invisible city on pre-Crisis earth, were they? Gorilla City, Paradise Island, Nanda Parbat...there's probably a half-dozen more. Also, I didn't immediately recognize it from the cover, but I'd read this one before, in the Best of DC #59 digest, which has a cover playing up Sonzrr and the god angle. That one also features "Let My People Grow!" So I had read this one years ago, which might explain why I'm fine with it, even if I find the Christ-imagery in the later Superman movies incredibly heavy-handed.

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