Ugh, are we Groundhog's Day'ing it again? In this timeline?

I mentioned this one yesterday, but had a copy handy! From 1994, Batman Adventures #22, "Good Face Bad Face" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

This Two-Face story would have been set earlier in the animated continuity, as he busts out of Arkham; pausing only briefly to flip on whether or not to let the Joker out: nope! Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce is listening to the psych reports on Harvey over and over: his "Big Bad Harv" persona was seemingly gone, leaving something else...something dangerous. At Gotham Penitentiary--we've seen its motto, "Building Character Through Adversity" before!--Two-Face busts out a mob lieutenant he had prosecuted, but only to offer him a job.

Batman realizes, Two-Face was building a gang: none of the criminals he broke were simple muscle, but skilled specialists. (Many of whom might seem familiar, like that scurvy scallywag "Tim Bruce.") Bats knows, next he'll go for Blackgate Prison, and disguised as a guard, he realizes Two-Face was going for the secondary control room. Two-Face releases the prisoners, to try and take Batman as a group, but they get gassed; and the GCPD catches Two-Face and his crew in a very packed boat. All wrapped up--except, that wasn't really Two-Face, but a double! Batman isn't fooled by the feint or the fake--the body language was off--and confronts Two-Face: his theory was that Harvey was still in there, and that's why he needed the coin. Bats didn't think he could make a decision to be bad on his own, and puts a loaded gun in Two-Face's hands to confirm his theory. Without the coin, he can't shoot Batman, and collapses.

Commissioner Gordon is slightly upset at Batman risking that one; but he had been pretty sure. In the end, Batman flips the coin: he kept it, wanting something to remember Harvey by. Read more!

Feel like he should jump to the right conclusion at least occasionally, by random chance.

So, I mentioned going through my recent-purchase long boxes the other day, and I found two of this issue...and I'm fairly sure I might have another somewhere! And the rule is, if I buy the same damn comic three times, I have to blog it. Which means this might be nothing but Groo the Wanderer posts for a couple weeks, but today we've got from 1996, Impulse Annual #1, "Speed Force!" Written by Steve Vance, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by John Nyberg. 

It's another of the Legends of the Dead Earth annuals, opening on the alien world M'toncanf--Milton Caniff? It's not a great world, but humans had crashed there yet managed to survive; then the whole place was occupied by the Dargonian Empire. Which doesn't seem to bother a headstrong young man, Trace Wyndham, who's looking for a ship out, to anywhere; despite not having any documentation, orders, or plans, and that ships currently weren't going out anyway. Running about the spaceport, he encounters a saboteur, who has super-speed.

The saboteur, Kinnock, is obviously the Max Mercury-type; and had a school full of young students he was training to fight the Dargonians. Trace wonders why he doesn't just take the Dargonians down himself; and Kinnock explains that would just escalate matters. Instead, he was using "invisible resistance," and through sabotage and theft was making them miserable, in the hopes they'd eventually decide the place wasn't worth the effort and leave. Trace thinks the Dargonians hadn't exactly been packing their bags, but Kinnock says they've only been at it for four years...

Kinnock also knows something about Trace: while he thinks he's been to other planets, he really hasn't. Instead, he was the sole survivor of a colony ship disaster, raised in virtual reality; which should sound familiar. Trace doesn't believe it, because if so, how would he know if any of that was real either? Kinnock won't let him go, under the excuse that the Dargonians were already stirred up enough; so Trace agrees to join their "resistance," if he'll help him leave later. Trace feels like Kinnock's manipulated him, but settles in to a dreary month two whole days of chores, then meditation; which leads to super-speed, and a new codename: Impulse. While his speed is impressive, it's probably not surprising that Trace has zero patience or impulse control; and a stealth mission to sabotage the Dargonians' water purifier goes loud instead: the whole place is blown up, and the locals rally around their new heroes, against the alien occupiers. But are they going too big? 

If you read any regular Impulse comics, you can pretty much see where that's headed: Max/Kinnock is always right, Impulse/Trace almost always wrong. I don't know if I agree with Kinnock, though: how long do you let people suffer under an occupation? Then again, fitting the tone of the story, the occupation seems oppressive but not unbearable; like the locals were being taxed but the Dargonians weren't starving them, teasing them, singing off-key...  

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80-Page Thursdays: Flash Special #1!

We haven't had an 80-pager here since last August? That seems like a hundred years ago; but then, Flash's 50th anniversary here was 34 years ago...(crumples into dust, like the Flash in Crisis!) From 1990, Flash Special #1, featuring stories by Mark Waid, Len Strazewski, William Messner-Loebs, and one other I won't mention; art by Mike Parobeck, Irv Novick, Carmine Infantino, Grant Miehm, and more.

This one actually fills a bit of a hole for me, since I had been reading Flash on-and-off for some time, and when future Flash John Fox shows up, I didn't know where he had come from. If you go back and re-read those, I'm sure there's probably a caption box somewhere, saying go read this one. John was a historian from the 27th century, who gets sent back in time not for the usual research and whatnot, but an emergency: radioactive villain Manfred Mota was causing widespread devastation, and they needed to find out how the Flashes had beat him before. Never heard of him? Yeah, he's new here too!

In postwar Washington D.C. the Jay Garrick Flash is summoned to the office of J.Edgar Hoover, who doesn't care for mystery-men, but wants the Flash as a "spycatcher!" Jay isn't keen on spying on people who might be innocent, worse, his name is on a list of possible leaks in atomic weapons technology. Jay goes to visit a friend who might have been seen as less than "true-blue" American, but couldn't be a spy; and he's right: the janitor has been lifting stuff, and selling it to Mota, who's built himself a super-suit as "Atom-Smasher." With his friend's help, Jay manages to stop Mota, who wasn't a communist or anything as much as "a guy who liked to blow things up." (This would've been just before the JSA retired, rather than become government stooges.) John gets to see most of the fight, but is recalled before he can talk to Jay.

This keeps going on, as Mota keeps getting thrown in jail, then diving back into radiation and crime when he gets out; eventually melting down and sinking into the earth. John keeps just missing the Flashes, so doesn't learn much of anything; but in the 27th century a radiation surge overloads the time-machine, dosing John with way too many tachyons. John's friends are killed, but John manages to return to the timeline, now with super-speed powers! Raiding the damaged Flash Museum for costume pieces, he makes a quick suit, then manages to lure the now-radioactive monster Mota into position, to send him to the year 50 billion...John says that like Mota would age that whole time, his radioactivity decaying; rather than just dumping his ass in the distant future: damning someone to 50 billion years of solitude seems kinda harsh? Enh. 

John seemed like a slightly-older man here: I want to say he seemed way younger in his later appearances? And while he had a reporter girlfriend here, he would go after Linda Park in the late 20th century; because everyone did. And he'd later get in trouble for stealing time-travel tech, so he maybe moved to the 853rd century: he would be part of Justice Legion A in DC One Million. Either because they needed a speedster type and maybe somebody the present heroes would recognize as mostly-cool; or because he couldn't go back to the 27th century 'til the heat was off.

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I was thinking about this the other day, when I got the Batman Calzony from Little Caesars--which is probably the worst thing to put into your body this side of pet-grade heroin; absolutely recommended--I hadn't really blogged a Batman comic in a while? Like, a while a while: going by the tags, sure, he was central in Justice League International #13, but before that it was Batman: City of Light #8. I haven't been overly excited about Batman stuff of late: I'm sure I'll see the new movie eventually, but don't know that I'm standing in line opening weekend either.

So, to get a little charge back in the Bat-batteries, as it were, I went out to the garage and dug through my boxes. True to form, I was looking for something in particular and came away with about a dozen other things. Found at least one more City of Light #8, which I didn't think I had read before when I blogged it! And I grabbed two issues I had blogged before! I was looking for some of the first Batman books I ever read; this one sort of is but isn't: from 1993, the Batman Adventures #7, "Raging Lizard!" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

This issue was polybagged with a Batman vs. Man-Bat trading card, but tear that sucker open! This was the first issue from the great Mike Parobeck, who was an absolutely perfect fit for the animated style. As Batman works the streets looking for a visiting Chicago mobster, Killer Croc is enjoying a modicum of success in the underground rasslin' circuit: the two are of course related, as the mobster has brought in his own wrestler, the Masked Marauder. Who, as we see in a flashback, absolutely destroyed Croc in an earlier match. Croc got beat so bad I'm surprised he remembers it, but the newspaper accounts of him getting whupped and crying like a baby probably help him keep the memory fresh. Croc's Burgess Meredith-style trainer, Mick, chicken in hand, gives him a bit of inspiration: he may be an ugly-ass freak, but in the ring he was a hero, and you don't wanna lose that, do ya?

While the visiting Chicago thugs get introduced to how Batman does things, Croc's training continues, as lesser wrestlers are ground up and spit out. Still, the Marauder seems to tower over even Croc, and opens their match by shoving the referee out. Batman arrives afterwards to fight the mobsters, with the ensuing gunfire distracting Croc at a crucial moment, and he ends up catching the Marauder's "Enola Gay" finisher again! The Marauder then commences giving Batman the business, as Mick gives Croc another pep-talk, since the first didn't seem to take: don't do it for your fans, screw those guys! Do it for revenge! Proclaiming himself to be lacking the brains to give up, Croc rallies for the win. (I feel like the Thing said something similar in the classic Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7!)

Batman tries to stare Croc down, but not today: still, not having anything on him, he lets Croc go, championship belt in hand. 

If we check out the books on the stand at the time, over at Mike's Amazing World, this came out the same month as Batman #491, the issue before the long Knightfall saga. I thought I might've picked this up as an alternative to that; maybe I just wanted the trading card.

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The cover gives away the cliffhanger, and I think this was too early to do this story, but turns out I'm glad they did when they did. Huh? Oh, let's just look at 1994's Superboy #4, "Superboy: the Animated Series" Written by Karl Kesel, pencils by Tom Grummett and Mike Parobeck, inks by Doug Hazlewood and Ande Parks.
This was early in the series for the new, clone Superboy from Reign of the Supermen; and he was already taking a sick day. While he thought he was just under the weather from "inhaling volcanic gases" and overwork, telepathic D.N.Alien Dubbilex suggests maybe it might be this disease that was attacking clones? But he's shouted down by S.B.'s business manager Rex Leech (what, Funky Flashman wasn't available?) since it's time for cartoons! Namely, an early cut of a pilot for a Superboy cartoon!

The cartoon portions of the issue are of course in the style of Batman: the Animated Series...okay, with a lot less black, but still. And they're done by the Batman Adventures great penciler, Mike Parobeck! This issue would be the same month as Batman Adventures #20.

Superboy's supporting cast has a bone to pick with Rex, though: while he's portrayed as a billionaire philanthropist, Dubbilex is now his telepathic butler; and his daughter Roxy is currently "primordial slime." Although calmer about it, Dubbilex may actually be more upset, since he doesn't recall signing away his likeness rights. Superboy's actually wondering if he's even in the cartoon by the fifteen minute mark or so, but is told that's to build anticipation. And in the cartoon, he does have a cool cave, so there's that.


Superboy's other love interest, reporter Tana Moon, points out that no network would touch that cartoon, as it was far too violent. It may not matter, though, since Superboy has just passed out in the kitchen, and may have stopped breathing...also, from the way he landed, S.B. was very obviously drinking milk out of the carton, while sick. Well, he wasn't quite the hero he would be, at this point.

It seemed way too soon for the cartoon, but it does fit with a huckster like Rex trying to cash in quick. And this way, we got to see Parobeck do it, which works for me. We just saw the Harley Quinn pitch for Catwoman's cartoon, and No Man's Land: the Animated Series some time back, and I could've sworn there were other in-story B:TAS homages as well.

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I thought there was a McFarlane influence there, which would be fitting.

It took a while, but Batman: Mask of the Phantasm has gotten some of the respect it should've had since 1993. It's at least no longer entirely surprising to call it the best Batman movie; although the Dark Knight has given it some competition since. But it never got a sequel--except this one, I guess. From 1996, The Batman and Robin Adventures Annual #1, "Shadow of the Phantasm" Written by Paul Dini; pencils by Ty Templeton, Dev Madan, Mike Parobeck, and Brandon Kruse; inks by Terry Austin, Rick Burchett, and Ty Templeton.

An opening flashback reminds us of the end of Mask, where Andrea Bennett and the Joker disappear in an explosion at the Joker's hideout at the abandoned World's Fair. With the Joker dazed and at her mercy, Andrea hesitates as she remembers Bruce's words: "What will vengeance solve?" A secondary explosion gives the Joker the chance to escape in the sewers, but Andrea ends her mission of revenge, and leaves Gotham forever. For three years.

Andrea has returned, since she knew someone was trying to kill Bruce Wayne, but he's not particularly open to taking protection or even advice from his ex. She smoke bombs Bruce and escapes, but then tries to catch up with his and Alfred's car outside? But this "Andrea" is really Kitsune, a Japanese assassin who used a holographic projecting crystal to disguise herself and get close to her victims. The grinning, chatty Kitsune helps herself to the champagne in Bruce's limo, and mentions in passing her boss would be happy to see him, "not that it takes much to make him crack a smile." The real Andrea returns to save Bruce, smashing into the limo in her full Phantasm costume.

Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce explains how he had tried to find Andrea after Mask, even going to crooked politician Arthur Reeves for info. He had been gassed by the Joker but had recovered, and wasn't especially keen on seeing Andrea again. Since he had betrayed her father to the mob, she doesn't feel bad about that. She had spent the last few years working as Phantasm, or as "his contact," but when she was offered the contract on Bruce she had to return to help. They don't have much time together, before Kitsune and some goons attack the mansion; but after Bruce takes a dive out a window he realizes they were after Andrea, killing him was just a bonus. Taking care of Alfred, Batman explains he's figured it out.

Although it's hinted the Joker could be behind this, it's a red herring: Andrea finds herself face-to-face with Arthur Reeves, who's face is not looking great. An "allergic reaction" to the Joker's venom had left him with his own permanent grin, which kind of wrecked his chances for public office. He put the contract on Bruce to lure out Andrea, which worked like a charm. Maybe he should've sprung for a hideout instead of just using his apartment, though, since Batman smashes in pretty quickly. Kitsune gives him a bit of trouble using her crystal as a flash, then Arthur unmasks and nearly kills him with Phantasm's scythe. Andrea lures Arthur into charging at the Phantasm, and he gets the mask and cape as he charges over the balcony and falls to his death.

Commissioner Gordon shows up for the wrap-up, and as Kitsune is taken away, expresses a bit of grief for Reeves. His involvement with the mob hadn't been public knowledge, so as far as Gordon knew, this had been a tragic attempt from a disfigured man for revenge against the Phantasm. Batman lets it lie, telling Gordon he never knew the person behind the mask; as Andrea leaves Gotham, and Bruce, again.

This is nice, but feels like an early draft for a sequel: it needs a bit more to live up to the original. Kitsune doesn't really do much for me either, but Reeves going further off the rails feels about right. The Phantasm was originally based at least in part on the Reaper from Batman: Year Two, which opened with Alan Davis for the first issue before Todd McFarlane took over, and I thought some of the art this issue showed more of his touches than usual for the animated-style books. Sadly, this was the last work from Mike Parobeck, who died due to complications from diabetes.
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As good an excuse for Mike Parobeck's Man-Bat as any...

I was out for a couple days last week...and a couple more this week! Couldn't get them all off in a row, but taking the Youngest to some Apple thing where he can learn to edit videos and whatnot. Better he make his own YouTube nonsense than sit around watching it...

I miss this run so much: from 1993, the Batman Adventures #11, "The Beast Within!" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.
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My girlfriend would say "stall" is usually step one of my "plotty plans..."

We saw Mr. Nice, Mastermind, and the Perfessor some time ago; if you recall, they were the Batman Adventures shout-outs to DC editors Archie Goodwin, Mike Carlin, and Denny O'Neil. And today we're checking out their second appearance: from 1994, the Batman Adventures #20, "Smells Like Black Sunday" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

Even though the Perfessor is busy working on his memoirs, and Mr. Nice is too nice for his line of work; Mastermind is able to convince his cohorts to band together for one more job. Step one: break out of prison, which the Perfessor manages in a cakewalk.

Step two: stall. Mastermind leads the Dark Knight on a merry chase through Gotham, but it's a ploy to keep Batman occupied until it would be too late for him to stop Mr. Nice; and Mastermind had weaseled a promise out of him: stop being nice until midnight! Unburdened by his good nature, Nice is a virtually unstoppable fighting machine, and has a free run at the nuclear missiles at Fort Briggs!

As Mastermind sing-songs "I'm a nuclear power!" he may have counted his chickens before they've hatched. Although Batman can't get there in person, he's still able to call Jim Gordon to stop Mr. Nice, who can't turn away from his character after all.

Neither the best nor most essential of stories, but still well-executed fun. There's probably a moral or two here somewhere, but I was wondering how often Batman falls for that sort of distraction: he can't be everywhere at once, after all.

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"The End" Week: The Batman Adventures #36!

Another Batman cancellation? Unbelievable...this one's a sad one, but not for why you think: from 1995, the Batman Adventures #36, "The Last Batman Adventure" Written by Ty Templeton (with thanks by Kelley Puckett) art by Mike Parobeck and Rick Burchett.

This was the conclusion of a three-parter: previously, plagued by headaches and a pervading sense of dread, Hugo Strange is working on a new invention. Or so he thinks...meanwhile, Catwoman makes one of her attempts to win Batman over, who won't bend on his stance against her crimes. Strange's invention was a memory-removing machine, which he actually wanted to use on himself, to take away his memory of his son David's murder. Instead, Strange gets trapped in that memory--seeing everyone's face as his son's--and Batman's memory is wiped, back to when he was six. Catwoman takes the opportunity, dressing Batman as Catman, and telling him he's had an accident but is part of the best cat-burglar team in Gotham.

While Robin and Gordon work the case and set up a diamond-baited trap, "Catman" is torn between his loyalty to his "partner" and his gut feeling that stealing isn't right. Robin is able to convince Bruce to go back to the Batcave and Alfred, whom he recognizes. (Stalling, Alfred tells Bruce his parents are out right then...) Bruce also knows of Batman, and is thrilled to be told he is Batman.

As Batman, the six-year-old mind of Bruce has all of his physical skills but none of his discipline. Robin enlists the help of Karl Rossum (from the episodes "Heart of Steel" and "His Silicon Soul") who uses Strange's notebooks to piece together what happened. Rossum explains that Strange kept removing chunks of his memory, not realizing he'd already taken out the one he wanted. (I think Strange may have invented his machine more than once, too.) The memories would be stored on a diamond, but there isn't one big enough to save Batman's memories...except the one he knows Catwoman has stolen and squirreled away.

As Hugo Strange decides Rupert Thorne should pay for his son's murder, and Alfred laments that Batman will have to relive his parents' murder; Batman asks Catwoman for the diamond. She offers a deal: the diamond, in exchange for Batman "looking the other way" for her. She thinks maybe then they could be friends, but Batman, hurt as only a child can be, tells her otherwise:

Feeling he's not a good enough Batman as is, he voluntarily takes his memories back; while Strange attacks Thorne, viciously defending his dead son. When one of Thorne's goons enters to help his boss, he recognizes Strange as "the little twerp that punched out my tooth last New Year's," David's murderer. Berserk, Strange snaps his neck.

Before Thorne can have the now-confused Strange shot, Batman and Robin show up; but Thorne is able to point out Strange was the criminal this time, and presumably he's taken off to Arkham. Finally, Catwoman summons Batman, with a Bat-signal painted onto the side of a building with water-soluble paint. She returns the ring she and "Catman" had stolen, trying to assuage her conscience. Still, Batman doesn't remember the deal they had made, nor does he imagine he would make such a deal; and Catwoman is thrilled to hear she's getting no special treatment from him.

This was the last issue of The Batman Adventures, but it would really continue with the Batman and Robin Adventures. Which I think I have the last issue of around here somewhere! But sadly, this would be one of the last issues for artist Mike Parobeck, who died of complications with diabetes at the age of 30.


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If "Build Character through Perversity" doesn't inspire you, I don't know how to help you...

I have to do this every couple of years: come back to something I said I was going to come back to, some years prior. I had to a while back with my favorite Ann Nocenti Daredevil comic; and about a year ago I mentioned my second-favorite Riddler story...but not my favorite. So, let's get to it, since I randomly stumbled back into it today: from 1993, The Batman Adventures #10, "The Last Riddler Story" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

When a shipment of rare jewels bound for the Gotham Museum are nearly stolen by criminal genius Mastermind, Batman and Gordon know his cohorts Mr. Nice and the Perfessor will give it a shot as well. The timing is inconvenient, though, since one of Batman's most persistent villains is getting out of jail tomorrow.

Persistent? Not this time. Even with the encouragement of his curiously familiar looking crew Eddie Nygma is hanging up the Riddler's derby hat. "I riddle my brains out and Batman catches me anyway! If only I could outsmart him just once..." A henchman points out Bats gets hit in the head a lot, so maybe he's dumber now. They manage to convince him by mangling the motto of the penitentiary he just got released from, so Riddler decides to give it one more shot, but if it doesn't work, that'll be the last riddles from him. He delivers the riddle via skywriting, but Batman's busy taking in the friendly armed robber, Mr. Nice.

The Riddler and his boys enjoy a pleasant afternoon, walking the streets and asking passersby their riddle, then bonking them on the head when they get it wrong. Admittedly, that does look fun; but one of the thugs is misty-eyed at the thought of never seeing their beloved boss this happy again. For his part, Batman admits to Alfred he really hasn't had time to look at the riddle, but he has to take care of the Perfessor first--Bats knows what the Perfessor is going to do, and has to take the sure thing. (I didn't scan it, but Bats is sharpening his Batarangs while he talks to Alfred, and if criminals saw that they'd be even more afraid of him.)

Sure enough, that night the Perfessor and his ungrateful little accomplice try for the jewels, but while Batman takes care of them, the Riddler and his gang make off with the prize! They get all the way to the sidewalk, before Batman beats the tar out of the gang. Riddler, though, is just crushed. How? How could Batman figure it out? Perhaps unwisely, Batman admits he didn't; he just happened to be there. And to the Riddler, that counts as a win, even as he's carted off to jail, the book literally thrown at him in court, and tossed back into prison...

You could read this issue just fine without noticing, but Mastermind, Mr. Nice, and the Perfessor were caricatured versions of DC editors Mike Carlin, Archie Goodwin, and Denny O'Neil. They would actually appear a few more times in the various incarnations of the book, until Goodwin's death in 1998.

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"The End" Week: Justice Society #10!

Well, I suppose it's more accurately "Justice Society of America," but they went with the short form on the last issue: from 1993, Justice Society of America #10, "J.S.A. No More?" Written by Len Strazewski, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Mike Machlan.

While Parobeck's cartoony style was the big draw for me in this incarnation of the JSA, I did enjoy how Strazewski made the old guard of the DCU seem old; like the elderly gentlemen they were. (Actually, Hawkwoman's in there as well, but looks great; while Carter is noticeably older.) They weren't senile or incontinent or decrepit or anything (because they had cheated aging at least a couple of times) but had a different mindset than even a slightly younger team like the JLA.

Still, the book didn't find a market--which really isn't that surprising, since about a second of research shows this came out about the same time as the first batch of Image Comics. Did DC think this would compete with the first year or so of Spawn or WildC.A.T.s?

Anyway, the last issue or so featured people turning on the Justice Society en masse; to the point they were marching in the streets with torches, signs, and possibly pitchforks. A pair of hit men try to kill Ted Knight, the original Starman, who stops them easily. (How they, and the mob outside, knew where he lived is another question.) Ted suits up and heads to Gotham City to help out his friends, who are hip-deep in battle with Kulak the Sorceror. For his part, Kulak has enslaved the Hawks, been broadcasting his hypnotic message on late-night cable, and has impaled Johnny Thunder's Thunderbolt for use as a battery. Oh, and he licks Hawkwoman.

Eww.

Kulak fought the JSA a bazillion years ago in All-Star Comics #2 (mentioned in the editorial footnote) and ended up sucked into ancient Egypt. He tells a cock-and-bull story about being the Pharaoh Cheops; Wildcat and Atom don't buy it, since Vandal Savage said he was Cheops, and seems a bit more credible. Johnny Thunder provokes Kulak, who summons his...Legion of the Dead! (He had the same dramatic pause!) Although it takes a lot of his power, all he gets are a bunch of incompetent zombies, who smash up a bit of his stuff as well. Kulak's reeling by the time Starman arrives and zaps him so hard his third eye falls out, and Kulak is sucked back into hell.

The series ends with future member Jesse Chambers finishing her dissertation on the JSA; as the team gets together for another meeting. I'm not sure how many more they had, since several of them would be killed or retire during Zero Hour to make way for younger heroes. Yeah, that didn't really take, either.
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Heroes don't quit. Unless it's a collector's item last issue, in which case it's totally Quitsville.

I have a ton of cancelled comics, and if there's anything more sad than the last issue of a comic book that showed a lot of initial promise, it's the last issue of said comic where the hero quits superheroing and denounces it as pointless, childish, and stupid. No meta-commentary there, eh? If your book is being cancelled, I would love to see a hero quit for reasons I can identify with, like because people are stupid and don't deserve a hero.

Marvel spun off the Green Goblin into his own book. Sort of. This was near the very end of the Ben Reilly Spider-Man era and before the return of Norman Osborn. So, with Norman still 'dead,' and Harry really dead; the name and trademark was just lying around. Similarly, so was a lot of the Green Goblin's equipment, since Norman was a lunatic who made stashes for spare weapons, costumes, and goblin-gliders all over New York--previously, the Hobgoblin's origin started this way. New character Phil Urich, nephew of longtime Daredevil supporting character Ben Urich, stumbles across a better stash of weapons than Hobgoblin ever did, including a cybernetic mask and costume that gave him powers and control of the glider, wrist-launchers, etc.

(If you're particularly continuity-minded, Hobgoblin's main goal for most of his early appearances in Amazing Spider-Man revolved around him searching for more of Osborn's hidden Goblin weapons. After a particularly grueling fight, Hobgoblin gets away with a map to the last secret hideouts, only to find he's already looted them all; and he declares himself now the better of the Green Goblin and no longer needing to scrounge for a dead man's weapons. Of course, retroactively Norman wasn't dead, so he could have been adding more the whole time, including the more-advanced ones Phil used; and it's easy to imagine Norman doing it just to dick with Spider-Man even then.)

Put kindly, Phil wasn't terribly effective. In his penultimate issue, he wins his "greatest victory" against a Sentinel during the Onslaught crossover, but catches a chunk of shrapnel in his mask. Without the mask, Phil lost his powers, the use of most of his equipment, and any style points he may have had. He gamely tries crimefighting without it, but quickly realizes it's not for him; and right about then Norman was making his...ugh...comeback. (I think some writers have done some good things with Norman Osborn since then, but it's a silk purse-sow's ear thing.)

Losing his job at the Bugle at the same time, Phil is forced to 'put my toys away,' suck it up, be a man, and finish college. Because the next time Sentinels trash Manhattan, a college graduate could save the day...I understand Phil later made appearances in Runaways, but true to form, I think his appearance was because they couldn't use Rick Jones.

Even sadder than Phil quitting because he kinda sucks and sales are spiraling in, is El Diablo throwing in the towel, because he feels like he sucks and sales are spiraling in. Phil's resignation feels like either a natural progression for the character, or because the real Green Goblin would have Phil's head in his man-purse if he didn't quit. Conversely, El Diablo was at the point where the hero would traditionally pout for an issue or two, make a big scene about not doing any good, and 'quit' for about five minutes until a new threat rose up; but the sales weren't enough for him to return. Also, Phil wasn't effective because he was a lazy slacker; Diablo wasn't effective because he was single-handedly trying to rid his city of crime, injustice, racial tension, poverty, gerrymandering, low voter turnout...
As is often the case, this was a book I knew of but had never actually read until I got it out of the quarter boxes. The last issue came out in 1990, and in my defense it was an 80 mile drive to a comic shop that would even have had El Diablo. In the previous, now penultimate, issue, El Diablo struggles with the problems of illegal immigration from Mexico, and fails: the immigrant he befriended dies, the corrupt border guard that contributed to that death kills himself, and Diablo himself beats up a few people and is left confused, battered, and depressed. Don't feel bad, El Diablo: nobody else has come close to fixing that one either.

In his civilian identity as city councilman Rafe Sandoval, El Diablo was already hip-deep in fighting corrupt officials, backbiting politicians, special interests, racially motivated groups of every stripe, and his own boss; who seemed to fall somewhere between glad-handling good ol' boy of the political machine and well-meaning lesser of two evils. You would think putting on a mask and a kind-of sharp vest and pummelling the snot out of some non-voting lowlifes would be the only thing keeping him sane.

Perhaps not really helping his state of mind were his Shadow-like operatives...a bunch of high-school age kids, who were fairly realistically prone to in-fighting, jealously, and getting shot. That's probably why you never see the Shadow hanging out, palling around, or even acknowledging his crew. Keep your work and your friends separate!

Although I primarily bought the El Diablo issues for the Mike Parobeck art, I was pleasantly surprised by how political this book was. Probably a bit too much so for it's time and the market, but I could see a storyline about immigration causing a ruckus in the blogosphere now. All the problems Diablo faces in his last few issues prove too big for him to just punch in the face, so he has to take on the fight to change the causes, not the products. I'd argue (and writer Gerald Jones may have as well, if the book had continued) that Rafe is banging his head against the same walls in both identities: do you put on a mask and try to catch a serial killer yourself, or do you rally support for a tax increase to put more cops on the street? It does occur to me that a flashy vigilante might be the way to shine a light on problems the press may otherwise ignore.

In the end, Rafe ends up back in the mayor's office, an honest man trying to keep his boss and his party on the right track. Whether intentional or not, the implication is that superheroes (or masked vigilantes) can't make as much of a difference as intelligent, articulate, and well-informed citizens. So if you see any, let them know...

Fight-Man panel from Fight-Man #1, "The Big Fight!" Written and pencilled by Evan Dorkin, inks by Pam Eklund. Love it.

Green Goblin #13, "To Glide No More!" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Josh Hood, inks by Derek Fisher. Since poor Phil wrecked his mask the previous issue, he doesn't get any good action panels as the Goblin in this one. He gets the good girl in the end, but probably screws that up too.

El Diablo #16, "Adios" Written by Gerald Jones, art by Mike Parobeck, inks by Paul Fricke. Probably the only comic I can think of with city council meetings. Read more!

There's no foreshadowing in this title...or is there?

I love this panel, not just because it underlines what a mouthbreathing slackwit Grunge is (albeit one with decent taste in movies) but that is a fair explanation for what passes for foreshadowing in most movies today. Anton Chekhov would be glad to know, if you see a harpoon gun in the first reel, you can rest damn assured somebody is getting harpooned before the credits roll. And I'm being generous: foreshadowing is now usually reduced to "Wow, who would've thought the girl who said she was afraid of dismemberment would end up chopped into giblets?" (Fun fact: I watch way too many crappy horror movies, always with the vain hope that they might not be crappy. Granted, a lot of them are mildly entertaining, they generally aim kind of low.)

That said, let's look a comic with some nice foreshadowing, that's also a bit of a cheat. See if you can guess the secret of "The Tangled Web" from Batman Adventures #17, written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

The story opens in a jungle, as Batman jumps out of the trees at a masked, uniformed soldier, shouting the man's name as he comes at him. Batman hits the guy so hard, he wakes up on a plane, extradited to Gotham and arrested by Commissioner Gordon. And that's the second page!

In a large temple, a small army of the uniformed men are addressed by another, who critiques their collective incompetence. Luckily, he says their mission has been postponed a week, so they all have time to practice their killing, marksmanship, general evil, etc.

Afterwards, hidden in the trees, Batman, disguised in the soldier's uniform and mask, radios Alfred to update him and bring the readers up to speed. Ra's al Ghul has set up a major operation, in his ongoing quest to save the environment by wiping out most of humanity. Batman doesn't know what the big plan is this time, and is also suspicious that Ra's has delayed his plan.

And Batman should be suspicious: Ra's stresses to the base commander that everyone be informed of the delay. The commander did, but wonders why the delay, since he doesn't even know the target. Ra's assures him its fine, and they prepare for the Batman. Afterwards, Ra's berates his scientist lackey Asquith, who was responsible for the delay when he failed to take into account a local African holiday: his Bedouin guards took the week off.

As the week passes and Ra's heads for Africa, Batman still can't find anything at the base. Ra's checks Asquith's preparations at the African desert base, the Bedouin guards finally on the clock. R'as notices one guard's sword, and chats with him:

Finally, the gray soldiers go into action, attacking another base and fighting their way to a control room. Then, the leader uses a radio-doohickey, to set off Batman's radio, exposing him:

Luckily, the control room has a direct video line to Ra's al Ghul, who apologizes to Batman for luring him in with this diversion, but he needed to keep Bats out of his hair while he got down to business. Namely, setting off via satellite, a chain of explosives planted in the Antarctic polar regions, in order to flood large parts of the world, deafening millions with the harsh laughter of Al Gore proven right. Oh, and the drowning and stuff.

(Aside: R'as works great as a Batman character, but when you throw the assorted other superheroes of the DC universe, it doesn't seem as great, does it? I mean, if Batman dropped the ball and R'as flooded the world, Superman could still fix it, right? Unless R'as has a great plan for that...)

R'as knows Batman won't join him--if Talia can't get Bats to join, he sure as hell isn't going to be able to do it. But, he won't kill Batman, saying the new world will need him. Yeah, like to try R'as for genocide, apparently. But there's a flaw in R'as' ointment, or a run in his stockings, or whatever:

Robin's probably wearing a padded uniform, to make himself look a little more like the larger Batman. But the comic gets a little cheat here that wouldn't have worked on the cartoon series: when 'Batman' called Alfred, his voice would've been recognizable as Robin's. So, this works as a comic, but might not have in another medium. Unless the writer throws in a voice modulator or something. Aside from the size difference, though, I can imagine Bruce and Dick being pretty good at disguising their voices, and the voice actors may be good enough to fool most viewers as well.

Back to the story: Batman orders the goons there and surrounding Robin to throw down their guns. Robin starts beating the soldiers--no real reason, I suppose, just to keep his hand in--and Bats explains his disguise is more authentic than you might have guessed: "Ali-Yasa wasn't El-Shaitan's only student. He wasn't the best, either." With R'as as a hostage, he moves towards the plane, leaving Asquith to try to detonate the explosives. Batman, not being a moron, had already sabotaged that, blowing up the satellite...but leaving a ton of explosives in Antarctica. Hmm.

R'as signals his men to rush Batman, who isn't harsh enough to slit R'as' throat. As his matching Ubus attack, the Bedouins aren't as much help:

I love stories where otherwise generic henchmen opt out of taking their beating.

R'as escapes in his jet, and goes over the postgame with his base commander, who offers his life for failing, getting his ass kicked by Robin, to make R'as feel better, etc. R'as is big enough to admit he got played (or maybe this is a kids' book, and R'as can't exactly have his man strung up by his intestines here) but wonders if Batman thinks about the people he saved, or the world that could have been.

It's not strictly speaking a cheat, but the scene where 'Batman' is revealed, by tearing open the front of his uniform, does seem a little odd to me. Granted, I'm old, and thus used to scenes of Batman taking off a latex mask, a hat, a space helmet; and having his full Bat-cowl underneath. I also concede, it would've been an extra step, and looked dumb as hell, if he had been unmasked as Batman under that Snake Eyes-style mask, then unmasked again as Robin.

There's a little box of mostly animated style DC Comics in my basement, including most of my Parobeck Batman's. My son knows that one as the 'good box.' And he's right.

Grunge and Roxy panel from Gen 13 Bootleg #10, "Grunge: The Movie, part 3" Story and art by Adam Warren, and if you have even a passing interest in Hong Kong action movies (or even just movies, since a helluva lot of it fits) you deserve this. Get it now. Read more!