I had a really nice bike ride yesterday (as I write this) in terrible conditions: I waited until about the hottest time of the day, and it was pretty windy for here. Which made for slow going into the wind, but just flying on the way back! Way more fun than I expected. Today, on the other hand, is tire-melting weather; and I'm trying to cover some posts for when I'm out, so we get a classic, that somewhat annoyingly isn't reprinted where you would expect! From 1984, Captain America #289, "Tomorrow, the World?" Written by J.M. DeMatteis, pencils by Mike Zeck, inks by John Beatty.

This issue isn't included in Deathlok the Demolisher: the Complete Collection or Captain America: Deathlok Lives, although it seems like, um, the conclusion? Will Cap be able to stop Deathlok's horrible future (of 1990...) from happening? Are earth's heroes doomed? Deathlok only appears in flashback, so I guess they figured his job was done and this was Cap's problem now. (Also, I would'a sworn there was a Deathlok Lives trade with that sick Zeck cover from Cap #286.)

The Brand Corporation (and its parent company, Roxxon) was about to finally launch the Nth Project and its Nth Commandos: sure, it's a bunch of goons in green jumpsuits, but their guns were the special part. Each commando had a hand-held "Nth Projector" capable of banishing any target to another reality, where they would immediately die. Their targets, for a simultaneous attack, were the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and the X-Men! For day one, anyway. Then maybe a day to recharge (the guns, not the goons, the goons were totally expendable) before they hit the solo guys; figure about a week to wipe out every superhuman in the United States. One of the goons was Godwulf, who in the future would regret his actions and had just sent Captain America back to try and stop it--and himself, although Godwulf pretty obviously hated his past self, who we see later in the issue about to lead his squad into the Baxter Building.

Cap is stymied by Ma Bell, though, as he didn't have twenty cents for the pay phone to warn anyone! Wow, that'll date this issue more than anything. Instead, Cap is forced to rush the Nth Project's secret front office, the Broadway branch of Metro Bank! Smashing through the front window, Cap tells the guard he's there to rob the joint, and to call the cops; but the guard calls his boss instead, who tells him to just keep it quiet and clean up the mess. Godwulf had given Cap the codes for the doors, and Cap was hoping to get to the Nth Generator: while the projectors would be able to take out even the mightiest hero in one shot, they took a ton of extradimensionally funneled power, which was their weakness. With the benefit of Godwulf's info, Cap is able to fight through a room full of goons, then lasers, and then gas. But not even Godwulf knew the last line of defense...a giant-ass robot! That reads Cap's mind, nearly burns though his shield, and no-sales said shield right back at him!

Shaken, Cap is on the verge of quitting, but doesn't have that in him: instead, he rallies, seemingly effortlessly dashing through the robot's legs, vaulting up its back, and smashing its roboskull, all while making a speech! In real time, it might not have been quite as impressive: the robot wasn't real, just "psycho-waves" blasted into the room. The suit running the Nth Project can't fathom why Cap wasn't driven hopelessly insane: because he's Captain America, stupid. The Nth generator blows, leaving the Nth Commandos up a creek: a smug squad is remarkably less so, when the projectors don't work after they trash-talked Thor, She-Hulk, and a very pissed-off Wasp. Cap leaves the clean-up to Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D...huh, wrapped up sooner than usual today.

Because it was Marvel's Assistant Editor Month! Which gave the creative crews some leeway to take swings, or make jokes. Or both! Assistant editor Mike Carlin, dressed as the Watcher, presents "Bernie America, Sentinel of Liberty!" Cap's girl Bernie Rosenthal wonders what it would be like, if she were the one always running off to save the world or New Jersey or whatever, and her "ever-loyal, sheepish, and not-especially-bright love interest Steve Rogers" was left behind to cry about it. But, as fun as it is for her to imagine the shoe being on the other foot, she's still overjoyed when the real Steve shows up. 

There's some swell writing this ish, but Zeck absolutely crushes it: I dunno if the book had looked that good in years, or would look that good again for years! This is also one of maybe...four? issues for Assistant Editor's Month that I read at the time: Conan the King #20 took a swing, with "The Prince is Dead" and changing to a bit more long-form stories. Star Wars #79 is a solid adventure but also funny in a way I don't think we'll ever see that franchise get to be again. Despite what he may have become, Fantastic Four #262, "The Trial of Reed Richards" is like John Byrne at the height of his powers. And speaking of Byrne, I didn't get this until much, much later, but we've seen the Thing #7 here, as well as the Hembeck hijinks of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #86. Further back, we glanced at ROM #50, but mostly from the viewpoint of the Skrulls. If you go all the way back, like twenty years ago we looked at Moon Knight #35 a few times! 

Also this issue: ads for both Popeye and War Room videogames! I had them both on the ColecoVision and enjoyed the hell out of them, although just saying "ColecoVision" ages a person like ten years...

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I no longer worry about death, I had some haggis...

Entirely possible I have three of these, but I'll always always always buy these from the cheap bins: from 1992, Bill & Ted's Excellent Comic Book #9, "It's a Living?" Story and art by Evan Dorkin, inks by Marie Severin.

The titular duo are enjoying a most bodacious afternoon with their wives and kids, but a visit to Pretzels-n-Cheese goes heinously awry thanks to new trainee Death, who was broke and had to take another job to cover his rent and his outstanding Monopoly debt to Bill and Ted. (Who were mega-rock stars and wouldn't care, but Death had principles.) A cheese-squeezing incident gets him canned; worse, Death was also behind on his rounds, and while collecting the soul of a sad Frenchman who died, in a hilarious retelling of a classic urban legend; Death meets his replacement, Morty! In typical 90's fashion, Morty has both an 8-ball jacket, and zero sympathy for others; so he gets a lot of laughs out of assorted, admittedly funny, recently departeds. Like Death in the Seventh Seal and Bogus Journey, Morty does give the dead the chance to challenge for their soul, but does so with "three card Dante!" A sucker's bet!

Forced into retirement, Death decides to look for a new job, to have something to do; and fails miserably, but amusingly. He even gets fired drawing "Major Violence" comics...OK, that one might be with cause; but Bill admits they've bought worse comics. On a final training session with Morty, Death finally gets fed up with his flippant attitude towards the dead, and demands an inquest to fight for his job. In the Marvel U. this would bring in like Eternity and Infinity and Master Order and Lord Chaos, those guys; but Dorkin has his own! War, Fate, Nature, and Time Thumb in for Chronos. Can Death beat Morty in a reaping contest...?

Man, I'm not even sure I have this whole series, which feels like another fate worse than death. Maybe I still have time... Read more!

A Legionnaire is going to what, Nura? I didn't catch that last part.

I wasn't sure if I still had this--OK, I probably do--and I also probably could've bought the better formatting out of the same dollar bin, but this was where I started. Or close to it! From 1985, Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes #326, reprinting 1984's Legion of Super-Heroes #1, "Here a Villain, There a Villain..." Plot and story by Paul Levitz, plot and pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Larry Mahlstedt.

This was the point where Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes (formerly Legion of Super-Heroes, formerly Superboy & the Legion of Superheroes, formerly Superboy...) became a reprint title, for the direct-market Baxter paper Legion of Super-Heroes. I had read some old issues at a relative's years prior, and I think I had maybe been reading the Best of DC Legion reprint digests for a bit, so why not hop on here? Unfortunately, for this issue at least, I'm don't think the print quality was as good as the Baxter series: I'm pretty sure my old copy has the same error as the start of the post, where Dream Girl predicts that a Legionnaire was going to die. (You could probably guess from the context!)

On a mysterious world, in a thunderstorm, Lightning Lord makes a solemn pledge over a Mayan-looking stone tablet, with the incongruous symbols for the Legionnaires on it, to kill a Legionnaire. Namely, his brother, Lightning Lad; but he wasn't the only one taking a vow there, as the Legion of Super-Villains had made a big membership push: for a long time, the LSV had been Lightning Lord, Cosmic King, and Saturn Queen; with Saturn Queen reforming in one of the "Adult Legion" stories in Superman. This issue alone, the LSV recruits Micro Lad, teleporting him away after catching a long-deserved beating by Shrinking Violet: they had history! The retired Light Lass (Lightning Lad's twin sister) is captured by Radiation Roy (he catches flak for his name later in the story!) while on the prison world Takron-Galtos, a team of Legionnaires is called in to stop a massive prison break, led by Daxamite kid-slash-Darkseid worshipper Ol-Vir. Mon-El seems ready to beat the stuffing out of the brat, but Ol-Vir and several other criminals, are teleported away...(I don't recall if he's seen directly in the Great Darkness Saga, but Ol-Vir either never broke Darkseid's hold on him, or was a psychopath before then.) 

This issue reads just fine coming in relatively cold, but is chock full of continuity for those who had been reading for a while: I wouldn't realize until much later, but several of the LSV's new members were former Legion applicants, from Superboy #212 in 1975! (I feel like a lot of the LSV members were former tryouts! Feelings could have been hurt, and the LSV may be more accepting.) But, if this issue had clues as to where the LSV was, or what Legionnaire was doomed; I hadn't been reading long enough to get those yet. (I don't think I read any stories with said doomed Legionnaire, until his last!)

Bonus: from Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes #325, here's the bespoke subscription ad for the Baxter book, with art by Dan Jurgens and Karl Kesel. I'm used to Marvel's generic, linewide sub ads, rather than the specific ones DC used to do, usually with the heroes directly addressing the reader: "Buy my book! Everyone else can shift for themselves..."

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This wasn't one I had scheduled out into the future, but it actually may have come up a few times, so now's good! From 1988, Warlord #131, "Vengeful Legacies" Written by Michael Fliesher, art by Jan Duursema.

Coming up on the end of the series, this issue wraps up a storyline that had been running here-and-there since Secret Origins #16: back when he was a kid, Travis Morgan kicked the tar out of a bully, impressing the girl that would later become his wife. Travis would go on to become an Air Force pilot, get shot down on a spy mission over Russia, and end up in the lost land within the earth (sort of) Skartaris; where he would have adventures for years. And that bully, Danny Maddox? Somehow, he defected to the Soviets, and was the pilot that shot Travis down! But since it wasn't a clean kill, Maddox got sent to the gulag, and was there until meeting Mariah on an ill-fated visit to her home country. Maddox and Mariah eventually escape back to Skartaris, where Maddox puts on a friendly face but is secretly ecstatic at the chance to get revenge on his "old friend" who he felt was responsible for everything wrong in his life.

I don't have the previous issues right next to me--I've definitely bought this issue a few times, but it may be in some other collections--and I can't remember how "o glorious Ma-dux" was in charge of some little kingdom here: I'd guess by waving a gun around. He was also with Mariah, although he hits her, and was keeping her in the dark about drugging Travis and torturing him. He maybe had too long to think about that and can't settle on one, as he has Travis buried up to his neck under the hot Skartaris sun, but then digs him up to go inside to the dungeon/torture room set-up. He's going to have Travis dipped in boiling oil, and for good measure, has taken a headband from Travis's recent friend Aoife, since it resembled a device he found on a "weird aircraft," and figured it was a key. (Skartaris was full of weird technology like that, that the locals had no inkling of how to use.) Mariah tries to rescue Travis, but is caught.

But before that, an interruption: one of DC's Bonus Books! These were 16 page free stories, and the GCD notes this as #6: over the years, we've seen the Atom one with Jim Balent, and, um, Dr. Light getting the business from Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys. We really need to dig up Detective Comics #589, though: that was the first issue I read with Norm Breyfogle, who was very much 'my' Batman artist as a kid! This story gave Jennifer Morgan the lead, but is better known for early work from Rob Liefeld! ("Growing Pains" Written by Steve Wilson, art by Rob Liefeld and Jeff Albrecht.) Jennifer tries to save a young orphan boy after she finds him robbing a old man's corpse: palace guard Masaq says that's probably not a good idea, but she was at heart an American girl and had to try; remembering trying to save a stray kitten when she was a kid. Both the kitten, and the orphan, betray her since they were both little murderers; with the kitten taken away by animal control, and the orphan running in front of a horse and getting trampled after he had been exposed. Jennifer still cries over both of them. (I thought this was a good effort from Rob, although...man, it's still kind of iffy. And he already had more work lined up at DC!)

Back to the main story: using the headband-circlet, Maddox activates the machine, and gets a holographic message from Garn Daanuth, the bad guy from Arion! Duursema had been the co-creator and regular artist on that title, maybe for the whole run? I've been putting it together out of the quarter bins and will read the whole thing when I do! "Garn" was long dead, but still pissed: this machine, and its power, was for his descendants and followers; and the chained-up Aoife hears the message as well. The sorcerer had sent colonization ships out after Atlantis sank: one crashed, with only a baby survivor. The priests wanted to kill it, but a soft-hearted executioner instead puts the baby adrift, where it was later found and raised by Viking-types; with the circlet passed from child to child, eventually to Aoife. As "Garn" prepares to destroy the city for trying to steal his power, Aoife is able to use it to free herself, then saves the others. Morgan once again kicks Maddox's ass, although not as thoroughly as readers probably would've liked, the circlet is returned to Aoife, and she's able to save the city, even if "Garn" doesn't really approve. (Even his hologram recording was evil! That's the sign of a quality baddie.)

As Aoife prepares a small boat for their departure, Morgan says goodbye to Mariah, who was staying with Maddox, saying she loved him. I'm at a loss to express how much that sucks; Mariah deserved better, and Maddox deserved a shallow grave. (Mariah was a Russian saber champion, held her own in Skartaris for years, and still gets slapped around by this rat?)  Still, Morgan isn't worried about Maddox: not only was he taking away his guns, hadn't he kicked his ass like three times over several decades? Maybe he'll try again when they were senior citizens...We don't see Maddox in the Mike Grell relaunches, I think he put Mariah back with Machiste. (So many 'M' names!) Grell might have ignored any continuity that wasn't his...There were only two issues left, and the subplot pages hint at it: Jennifer feels a mystic disturbance caused by current big-bad witch Khanthaiti, and Shakira is teleported away from a threesome. (She hadn't been seen in the book for a bit, and this was the quickest way to get her back!) 

I appreciate the effort in trying to introduce new characters to a long-running title like this--especially one with a fairly big supporting cast already--but I get Maddox confused with Redmond, the rogue CIA agent with a grudge that also followed Travis to Skartaris. So out of like four people from the surface world that made their way there, half of them did so just out of sheer hate for Travis, who barely remembered them. Still, this was a tough row to hoe: sure, you don't want to just bring Deimos back yet again--which Mike Grell would!--but it's like trying to replace Skeletor or Shredder, with the hero's old bully...

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Once again, the first comic you read in the new year sets the tone for the year...hmm.

It may or may not be a good omen, but we inch ever closer to blogging all of the "Legends of the Dead Earth" annuals! From 1996, Guy Gardner: Warrior Annual #2, written by Beau Smith, Kevin Dooley, and Mitch Byrd; pencils by Phil Jimenez, Joe Staton, Mitch Byrd, Rick Mays, and Dave Brewer; inks by John Stokes, Terry Austin, Wade von Grawbadger, Rick Mays, and Andrew Pepoy.

I've mentioned before that my recollection of this one--and I probably have a few copies of it, because I'm duuuuuuumb--was the whole book was "Guy's kids rule, Hal's kids drool." Was I right? It opens with the "earth is dead" as a Star Wars-style text crawl; as we visit the asteroid known as Warriors, largely built around Guy's bar from the current books. Three aliens like Legion of Super-Heroes member Tellus explain it's their first visit, and ask a young woman in a branded Warriors top for assistance: she explains how they can use the "cybertronic inducer" to relive legends and stories of everyone's hero, Guy Gardner; starting with a two-page recap of his history, with art by Joe Staton. (I had to look it up: Staton didn't co-create Guy; that was John Broome and Gil Kane; but Staton and Steve Englehart remade him into the Guy we know, starting with that sick GL jacket.) The history is more inspirational legend than fact, and admits as much, while acknowledging the legend had inspired so many.

"Hypersensitive" follows a cynical mailwoman, on a distant frontier planet called "Gardner's Green," as some shape-changers fight it out searching for the cybertronic inducer. Then, "See My Finger, See My Thumb. See My Fist, You Better Run!" finds four Little Rascals-like kids reminiscent of Guy's supporting cast, trying to use the inducer to fix one kid's teddy bear, when robots show up and one of the kids is zapped and Guy himself appears as a kid version of Warrior. Guy wakes up with the Wizard of Oz "...and you were there, and you were there!" bit as his pals think Guy's maybe taken too many shots to the dome in his career.

Next, "Dateless in a One Gender Town" is probably the story I was remembering, as the biker Gardner Gals follow Lizzie Jordan, who stole the inducer from them. It comes down to a ring shootout, and Lizzie ends up face down in the sawdust. The aliens are thrilled with the stories, and the young woman, Lumita, passes their compliments on to her dad, a roguish and slightly greying Guy himself! 

I'm pretty sure Guy would've been considered a B-list character at the time--B-list at best--but the creative team really seemed to be 100% Team Guy; like it wasn't just a job, they were pulling for him.

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There's definitely an Onion headline that applies for Wolvie there.

Whelp, just spent a hour writing a post, for a book I'd already blogged; so I'd best triple-check I haven't hit this one before, since I'm positive I've bought it three times. (I can see two from here, so...) So far it looks like I haven't, so here goes! From 2001, Paradise X: Heralds #1, plot and cover by Alex Ross, plot and script by Jim Krueger, art by Steve Pugh. 

This would be a prequel to Paradise X, the third and final chapter of Ross and Krueger's Earth X trilogy; and begins with X-51 recovering, and restoring, the Logan from "Days of Future Past," Earth-811. (I'm nerdy, but not nerdy enough to remember earth designations like that of the top of my head!) While he could be resurrected, X-51 sadly tells Logan his friends could not; and Logan recognizes where he was, since he had been there before: the Watcher's home on the moon. (Like the Onion said, "Man Experiencing First Real Moment of Peace in Years Resuscitated.")

X-51 introduces him to the team he had put together, collected from the multiverse, some of which would have even been familiar to Logan: the vampire Ororo, Bloodstorm; the MC2 Spider-Girl, Killraven, Deathlok, Iron Man 2020, and a Hyperion. (Logan recognizes May as "Parker's kid" by scent, which grosses her out.) They also pass by the naysaying old Watcher Uatu, who was basically a big blind face at this point. X-51 gives the quick version of what he had learned, about the multiverse, divergent timelines, Mephisto, and primarily, the Celestial egg planted in earths across the multiverse. (That plot point is probably the legacy of the Earth X books, as it's crossed over into 616 and movie continuity.) He wanted the team to warn the Reed Richards of those worlds; then he would use Uatu's stuff to reward the heralds accordingly. (Killraven and Logan both point out, their earths sucked and were probably past saving, but X-51 had found others.) The heroes are paired up, with X-51 going with Hyperion; as they are transported by familiar-looking big black monoliths...

Hyperion and X-51 arrive on an earth taken over by Kulan Gath (around Uncanny X-Men #190!) and Reed Richards had just been strung up. Deathlok and Killraven get a world ruled by Satyrnin, which does have a lot of armored goons for them to blast. IM 2020 is paired off with Bloodstorm, feeling that he was because he would've been protected from the vampire, but they find a world apparently full of 'em. Logan and Spider-Girl show up at a White House, to see President Richards...perhaps better known as the Brute!

I hesitate to mention this, since I have an irrational fear of anyone horning in on my search; but I read all the Earth X books as they came out, and since my old copies have been read many times I have been putting together another run of them from the cheap bins. Checking the pile I have handy, I had most of Earth and Universe, but needed about 12 of Paradise X. There were maybe 14 issues of that one, since they ran from #0 to #X because of course they do. Still, I had new copies of all three of Heralds, and I think I have all of the one-shots like Xen and Cap, which I thought would be tough to gather up. I've been picking at that for some time, it seems to come in chunks, but I might be making some headway.

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I don't know if he's as good a sculptor as Alicia Masters, but he's faster.

I mentioned I was looking for a new copy of this one some time back, and the dollar bins did provide: from 1992, Superman Special #1, "The Sandman" Story and art by Walt Simonson.

Like we mentioned before, this special was a bit of a speed-run of the Kryptonite Nevermore storyline that ran (intermittently) from 1971's Superman #233 to #242. This version doesn't have I-Ching, but instead post-Crisis had Superman making a memorial statue for the alternate-dimension Phantom Zone criminals Zaora, Zod, and Quex-Ul: Superman had executed them in Superman #22, and still carried that guilt with him. He swears "...that I will forever be the champion of life and never its destroyer." That's pretty much as it should be, although the direct-sales version's UPC box notes "Doomsday is Coming!"

This falls into a relatively thin wedge of continuity now, although it was several years: after Superman's self-imposed exile in space, and after Jimmy Olsen had met the new Newsboy Legion, but before Clark and Lois were a couple...that might be a thinner wedge than I'd thought, since they were dating by Superman #45. If you have time to re-read that run of issues you could probably narrow it down further: Lex is wearing a black glove, so this was after he lost his hand to Kryptonite poisoning but before he 'died' of it. Anyway, exiting a storeroom at the Daily Planet and pretending to be absent-minded, Clark bumps into Lois, who was hot on the heels of a story, investigating the mysterious Cosmography Industries. Which, as luck would have it, was just in the middle of an experiment, that would go awry with a massive explosion. Superman takes off to help, closely followed by the Newsboy Legion (and their flying Whiz Wagon!) who pick up Jimmy, with Lois barging in as well. After getting caught in another massive explosion, that drives him into a pile of rock; while Superman is rescuing trapped scientists, he is interrupted by Lex Luthor arriving via helicopter, who tries to order Supes off of his property. When Supes gives him some sassback, Lex decides to show him what they had been working on there: synthesizing Kryptonite! And, he had a good-sized chunk of the original right handy...what the--?!

The Kryptonite does nothing to Superman, and he even goes so far as to nonchalently eat it. While Lois and the others don't arrive in time to see that, and Lex tells them he had just given Superman "a little snack as a gesture of thanks," Lex is seething as Superman flies away, but then notices him dip, just for a second, as he flew away. Superman shrugs off his momentary weakness, but Lex suspects there might be something there. Later that night, at the rock where Superman had been embedded, a duplicate of Superman forms out of sand, and attacks some guards at Cosmography (which should just be a smoking hole in the ground at that point...) while Clark discovers hey, his super-breath was gone. The sandman later attacks him at his home, seemingly knowing he was Clark Kent, but couldn't fly yet, and smashes itself lunging at Superman and falling out a window. Thinking the creature was pulverized, Superman leaves to investigate further; but the creature re-integrates from a pile of sand, now with heat-vision! (Long-time comics readers would've probably seen Marvel's Sandman do that many times; so it feels weird that Supes thinks it was gone!)

Luthor, after a brief interlude with an Aboriginal tracker he had brought in, sets his armored Team Luthor on the Superman double, who is eventually caught in a box for a chat: the creature wanted Superman, and Lex was more than happy to help it out. The next day, a bank robbery with heavily armed and trained goons draws out Superman, whose flight powers give out midway there! The sandman attacks Superman from an armored car; while Jimmy and the Newsboy Legion arrive: the Newsboys clobber the bank robbers in short order, while Jimmy realizes the sandman was stealing Superman's powers, and tries to run it down with the Whiz Wagon. No sale there, and Jimmy gets grabbed, but Superman then escapes in the Whiz Wagon, drawing the sandman away from Jimmy. Superman does have a plan, and luckily the sandman hadn't taken his super-speed yet, so it couldn't catch him before he got back to the Fortress of Solitude. The sandman recognizes it, as it thinks once he takes everything from Superman, it will no longer be in pain. The pain hit it every time it stole a power, and as it starts beating Supes in the Fortress, it spills how Lex had explained those powers, and it was leaving invulnerability for last, so it could enjoy beating on Supes.

With the sandman now a full-color dupe of Superman, it thinks it had beaten him unconscious; but Superman surprises it, seemingly giving it something else in a burst of pain. It sees, and then smashes, the statues of Zaora, Zod, and Quex-Ul; but is then stricken with remorse: Superman didn't kill. Panicked, it cries over the body of Superman, repeating his earlier oath.

Later, back at Lexcorp, Lex is feeling pretty smug, up until the moment he finds Superman in his office. Superman explains, while he couldn't prove anything, he didn't need to: the sandman had been feeling the pain of becoming Superman, but when it had everything, it sacrificed itself to save Superman. Which, inadvertently, saved Lex (and the world) from a Superman with no guilt or conscience; although Lex doesn't see it that way. 

This was a 50-page story, but the last couple of pages feel a bit rushed, like they were running out of room. Which in the special is taken up by pin-up pages, from some big names, like Frank Miller and Todd McFarlane! I feel like this issue might be overshadowed by the Death of Superman; but it's still great.

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Pretty sure I've ggnmornf'd on a first date, but I don't have self-respect...

60% sure I've bought this issue three times--not just because of the cover! Well, maybe. From 1989, Time Twisters #19, featuring more sci-fi shorts from the pages of 2000 AD, including two--no, three!--from that specific issue! Cover by John Workman.

"It's the Thought that Counts!" is a Peter Milligan/Steve Dillon number--the blond spaceman's chin is immediately recognizable as one of Dillon's! Two spacemen are on a secret mission for the ultimate weapon, although one plots to kill the other as soon as he can grab it. Also, I don't know if trial-and-error is the best way to try their grab-bag of weapons out...

"The Contract" is the first from 1984's 2000 AD #374, as a businessman misses his train, but a meek salesman then sells him a watch that can turn back time! A steal at five pounds...and his soul. Can the businessman get out of the deal? Or, judging by his actions cooking the stock market, did he deserve hell? (Written by Chris Lowder (credited as J. Adrian) and art by Massimo Belardinelli.)

"What's Up, Dock? is a bit of fun, with a shout-out for 2000 AD's editorial frontman Tharg the Mighty: the massive new supertanker Juggernaut was speeding to New York City, with only one crewmember. With all the computers, the captain was all that was needed, and even he was checking out for a nap...as a seagull gets in, and hopping on the keyboard, makes a few course adjustments, like full speed ahead! (Written by Alan Hebden, art by Jose Casanovas.) This and "Uncommon Sense" were from 1984's 2000 AD #372, the editor of this issue must've had an easy time of it! "Uncommon Sense" was by Hebden again, with Mike Collins on art, for a Twilight Zone-like short where an alien scientist attempts to help earthlings with their meager, paltry senses; by increasing them immensely. Results are mixed, as in, three deaths right off. Back to the drawing board there.

Hebden and Casanovas again, for "Working on a Chain Gang..." as three convicts think their luck has turned, when aliens abduct them...because there's a market for experienced slaves. (Sad trombone noise.) And another double-cross in "The Ghost Outside the Machine" from Milligan and Casanovas: a space miner shoots, then spaces his partner, but is haunted by his partner seemingly haunting him every time he looks out the window. Or, there might be a (slighty un)reasonable explanation. "The Art of Advertising" finds an ad agent scrambling after blowing his budget on a big sci-fi campaign, only to be told nostalgia was in now. But, when he hears about a mad scientist who claims to have invented a time machine, an idea is formed...that of course goes awry, that's just the style of these stories, sorry. (Written by Kelvin Gosnell, art by Massimo Belardinelli.)

Finally, "You Win Some, You Lose Some..." is Hebden with classic 2000 AD mainstay Ian Gibson: with earth under siege by the alien Grodge, a desperate back-up plan is put into place, to move the entire planet for safety! And for security reasons, only one man should be trusted with where...yeah, that's gonna go well. 

 For some reason, I seem to find this issue fairly regularly, but I'm not sure I've ever seen Time Twisters #18.

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This one probably falls under three times, but I think I bought it three times from the same dollar bins because of the Alex Ross cover! From 2019, Captain America #8 (712), "Captain of Nothing, part II" Written by Ta-Nehisi Coates, art by Adam Kubert. 

I bought it three times, sure, but I'm not sure I had read it until now, which makes me wonder when did I last read Cap regularly? Around Cap #600? Ed Brubaker had a long run, and we checked out his last issue some time back, but that was from 2012, and it feels like there's been about 40 separate runs since then? Rick Remender/John Romita Jr., Mark Waid was back for a minute, then Captain America: Steve Rogers, which I think was 19 issues of him becoming Hydra Cap for Secret Empire? Which leads up to this one, per the lengthy "Previously..." section: while Hydra Cap had been taken down, not all the fascists appear to have been rooted out. Thunderbolt Ross--non-Red Hulk here, at least so far in the story--had sent Sharon Carter on a mission that might have been a trap, then turned up dead, with Cap as the prime suspect. Instead of going on the lam to prove his innocence, Cap had turned himself in voluntarily, and was now at the Myrmidon, which would probably be best described as a privatized version of the Vault, run by...a pardoned Baron Strucker? Were there a lot of really sketchy pardons in the Hydra Cap era?

No, Cap explains: Strucker had sold out when Hydra's power began to fade, turning on them for a clean record. To further put him over, and show his dominance over his prison, Strucker displays for the whole prison him beating the tar out of the Wrecker. He's trying to show everyone, if he can beat the Wrecker until he cries like a little girl, what can he do to Cap? Meanwhile, Sharon has a meeting with New York's mayor, Wilson Fisk: she knows Fisk knows Cap was innocent, and manages to extort some info out of him. Still, Fisk does have a closing burn: at that point, America trusted him more than Cap. Back at the Myrmidon, rec time for Cap involves a minor scuffle with the Wrecking Crew's Bulldozer and Piledriver, who act like they have the moral high ground on Cap: this is probably due to Marvel's sliding timeline, but Bulldozer had served in the Army, probably during Gulf War, and felt betrayed by America. Piledriver mentions Rick Jones, who had been "inspired" to death in Secret Empire: that was Cap's fault, for building up a rep "more trusted than Jesus." Geez, when those two are clowning on you...(Bulldozer is the one in the Bane-like face mask, was he a biter? Piledriver is rocking the Guile hair.)

The behind-the-scenes conspiracy continues, as Alexa Lukin has Hydra Cap released from secret prison but then seemingly throws him to Selene. (Who isn't referred to by name this issue!) And Sharon Carter reviews the Kingpin's info with her crew, which fingers the Foreigner for Ross's death. I can't imagine anybody really thought Ross was dead, which makes me wonder if this wasn't just Kingpin trying to take out a rival: we've seen their rivalry before. That and Foreigner looks really generic here, rather than like Patrick McGoohan circa the Prisoner; and it still references his ex-wife Silver Sable, which I maintain was meant as a joke! 

Granted, this was part 2 of 6, and I'm coming in real cold; but by itself this wasn't a real satisfying comic. Which seems indicative of why I haven't read Captain America regularly in so long: it feels like I have to read forty issues to get anything out of it.

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Which format will I read this in? Uh, which one's next to me?

I thought I had nattered on about this before: so I have some of Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima's Lone Wolf and Cub in Dark Horse's little digests, and First's larger prestige format issues, and the whole thing in digital from Humble Bundle! And yet I'll probably always grab one of these when they're in the cheap bins: from 1988, Lone Wolf and Cub #10, cover by Frank Miller!

This chapter was "Lawless Samurai," and explains a little about the period: a financial crunch had reduced many to part-time status, which undermined the traditional master/samurai bonds of loyalty, and gave rise to orisuke. Literally, it meant "part-time help" but was more accurately lawless thugs for hire. The Lone Wolf, Itto Ogami, murders the heads of three orisuke gangs, before we get to the why: he and his son Daigoro find two young children, about to kill themselves. Their father had been a loyal samurai, but lost face and then his life in a dispute with a gang. Even with Ogami there, the kids were still in a bind: traditionally, honor would demand they avenge their father's death themselves; they couldn't just have Ogami do it. (Although, at this point, he probably could!)

Ogami's answer is, lure him onto the river, spear him to death. He murders the lower-level bosses of the gang--no rule against him doing that!--to bring their target into position. The kids are free to spear-murder the big boss, while Ogami covers them from his men. Honor is satisfied, and so is the reader! 

If I had one prediction for the next four years? I think revenge films are going to come back in a big way. Viewers are going to want the joy of seeing crappy people get what's coming to them. Just a guess.

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Not everything that happens three times is terrible, but...

Everything is circling the drain as I write this, sure; but you would be appalled at the litany of profanity I let out the other day, when I found I had three of this issue, and by rule if I buy the same damn comic three times, I have to blog it. From 2019, Heroes in Crisis #6, "Who is Saved?" Written by Tom King, art by Clay Mann and Mitch Gerads. 

 

I didn't read this when it first came out, since opinion seemed pretty divided; and because DC burned me once with Identity Crisis. Short form: Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman have set up Sanctuary, a facility for heroes (and possibly villains) to recover from post-traumatic stress and other psychological problems. I'm not sure it's seen before this series, but doesn't matter, as it's wrecked here, and several heroes are murdered. The victims range from C-listers like Blue Jay or Commander Steel, up to Arsenal and Wally West. Booster Gold and Harley Quinn are the only survivors, or one might be the murderer; and someone has leaked the story to the press. 

 

This issue follows Wally, Harley, and old Teen Titans member/unfrozen cave guy Gnarrk through their therapeutic journeys. That's not really Gnarrk's origin, at least pre-Crisis (on Infinite Earths!) but close enough; and in fact Gnarrk mentions being frozen as he reminisces about life back in the Stone Age, but with a surprising amount of philosophy. (Seriously, Gnarrk's journey is interesting! "In old day, death always there. So Gnarrk worry about death. New day, life always there. So now, Gnarrk worry about life.") Harley wasn't supposed to be there, but had snuck in to be with Poison Ivy; and was maybe making some progress in dealing with Joker-related trauma. And Wally West...after various continuity resets, he was back, but without his wife and kids. All the other heroes, Barry, his friends in the Titans, were overjoyed to see him again; but nobody seemed to notice how much he missed them. (Or at least that's how it seems to Wally in those scenes. Wally's continuity was just a disaster; there were a couple of them for a while, too.)

This issue, by itself? Maybe not bad. But, spoilery discussion after the break.

  OK, you probably already know, and an earlier issue had Booster point out a clue: the murderer was Wally West. He didn't believe the other heroes there were 'real,' or really had problems; it had to just be him, right? He cracks the security on Sanctuary's systems and watches everyone's files, and all of that on top of his existing trauma breaks him. He accidentally kills everyone (except Booster and Harley) at super-speed, then when he realizes what he had done, he stages the crime scene, uses virtual reality to convince Booster and Harley that the other had been the murderer, leaks the documents and leaves the clues and makes arrangements for his past self to kill his future self? Not unlike Identity Crisis, Occam's razor goes right out the window here. 

All of this was seen by a lotta fans as character assassination of Wally; and yeah, probably: King does a good job setting up Wally's distress, not as good a job on the murders/coverup. And because comics, all of it would be walked back, pretty much exactly like Hal Jordan's breakdown was blamed on Parallax: Wally's breakdown would be the fault of Savitar.

While Poison Ivy would be regrown from a rose she gave Harley, all the other heroes killed would be saved later, in Flash #796. (Good, because if my boy Nemesis stayed dead, I would be pissed.) Wally would get his wife and kids back somewhere, too. Which undermines what King had maybe been trying to say about trauma: sometimes, things don't come back. But maybe a superhero comic isn't the best place to say that...or maybe not in that way? Like, superheroes would absolutely have trauma; but how they would have to deal with it would be almost completely unrelated to how regular people have to. Maybe. 

I didn't love the rest of the series, but there are moments? King writes Booster as just dumber than a box of rocks, but he and Beetle are great together. I feel like Harley was there because she was popular, but if you make too much headway towards wellness with her, she's not as Harley as people like, so she gets stuck. Thematically, both Wally and Booster seem like they're trying to keep up a brave face, even in therapy; because they can't seem to articulate "things are messed up and I'm not okay with it" and they think that's what heroes are supposed to do. The confessional style panels are interesting, but some of them just become jokes, like the various Robins wondering where they fit in, or they might be more about what King thinks of the character and other writers or continuity might disagree. It also feels telling that Wonder Woman, Black Canary, and Catwoman are all seen as largely blowing off that style of help. Tom King frustrates me: some moments shine, but the overall experience doesn't. I liked his Omega Men series, but am hesitant to re-read it, since I think it's "here's a bunch of terrible things happening, when they're over no one is helped or better for the experience, now live with it." Admittedly, that feels like the mindset of the moment, but still. 

BTW, I accidentally bought this three times--getting both covers, which doesn't happen every time--but still paid less than cover price.

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