I had a really nice bike ride yesterday (as I write this) in terrible conditions: I waited until about the hottest time of the day, and it was pretty windy for here. Which made for slow going into the wind, but just flying on the way back! Way more fun than I expected. Today, on the other hand, is tire-melting weather; and I'm trying to cover some posts for when I'm out, so we get a classic, that somewhat annoyingly isn't reprinted where you would expect! From 1984, Captain America #289, "Tomorrow, the World?" Written by J.M. DeMatteis, pencils by Mike Zeck, inks by John Beatty.

This issue isn't included in Deathlok the Demolisher: the Complete Collection or Captain America: Deathlok Lives, although it seems like, um, the conclusion? Will Cap be able to stop Deathlok's horrible future (of 1990...) from happening? Are earth's heroes doomed? Deathlok only appears in flashback, so I guess they figured his job was done and this was Cap's problem now. (Also, I would'a sworn there was a Deathlok Lives trade with that sick Zeck cover from Cap #286.)

The Brand Corporation (and its parent company, Roxxon) was about to finally launch the Nth Project and its Nth Commandos: sure, it's a bunch of goons in green jumpsuits, but their guns were the special part. Each commando had a hand-held "Nth Projector" capable of banishing any target to another reality, where they would immediately die. Their targets, for a simultaneous attack, were the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and the X-Men! For day one, anyway. Then maybe a day to recharge (the guns, not the goons, the goons were totally expendable) before they hit the solo guys; figure about a week to wipe out every superhuman in the United States. One of the goons was Godwulf, who in the future would regret his actions and had just sent Captain America back to try and stop it--and himself, although Godwulf pretty obviously hated his past self, who we see later in the issue about to lead his squad into the Baxter Building.

Cap is stymied by Ma Bell, though, as he didn't have twenty cents for the pay phone to warn anyone! Wow, that'll date this issue more than anything. Instead, Cap is forced to rush the Nth Project's secret front office, the Broadway branch of Metro Bank! Smashing through the front window, Cap tells the guard he's there to rob the joint, and to call the cops; but the guard calls his boss instead, who tells him to just keep it quiet and clean up the mess. Godwulf had given Cap the codes for the doors, and Cap was hoping to get to the Nth Generator: while the projectors would be able to take out even the mightiest hero in one shot, they took a ton of extradimensionally funneled power, which was their weakness. With the benefit of Godwulf's info, Cap is able to fight through a room full of goons, then lasers, and then gas. But not even Godwulf knew the last line of defense...a giant-ass robot! That reads Cap's mind, nearly burns though his shield, and no-sales said shield right back at him!

Shaken, Cap is on the verge of quitting, but doesn't have that in him: instead, he rallies, seemingly effortlessly dashing through the robot's legs, vaulting up its back, and smashing its roboskull, all while making a speech! In real time, it might not have been quite as impressive: the robot wasn't real, just "psycho-waves" blasted into the room. The suit running the Nth Project can't fathom why Cap wasn't driven hopelessly insane: because he's Captain America, stupid. The Nth generator blows, leaving the Nth Commandos up a creek: a smug squad is remarkably less so, when the projectors don't work after they trash-talked Thor, She-Hulk, and a very pissed-off Wasp. Cap leaves the clean-up to Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D...huh, wrapped up sooner than usual today.

Because it was Marvel's Assistant Editor Month! Which gave the creative crews some leeway to take swings, or make jokes. Or both! Assistant editor Mike Carlin, dressed as the Watcher, presents "Bernie America, Sentinel of Liberty!" Cap's girl Bernie Rosenthal wonders what it would be like, if she were the one always running off to save the world or New Jersey or whatever, and her "ever-loyal, sheepish, and not-especially-bright love interest Steve Rogers" was left behind to cry about it. But, as fun as it is for her to imagine the shoe being on the other foot, she's still overjoyed when the real Steve shows up. 

There's some swell writing this ish, but Zeck absolutely crushes it: I dunno if the book had looked that good in years, or would look that good again for years! This is also one of maybe...four? issues for Assistant Editor's Month that I read at the time: Conan the King #20 took a swing, with "The Prince is Dead" and changing to a bit more long-form stories. Star Wars #79 is a solid adventure but also funny in a way I don't think we'll ever see that franchise get to be again. Despite what he may have become, Fantastic Four #262, "The Trial of Reed Richards" is like John Byrne at the height of his powers. And speaking of Byrne, I didn't get this until much, much later, but we've seen the Thing #7 here, as well as the Hembeck hijinks of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #86. Further back, we glanced at ROM #50, but mostly from the viewpoint of the Skrulls. If you go all the way back, like twenty years ago we looked at Moon Knight #35 a few times! 

Also this issue: ads for both Popeye and War Room videogames! I had them both on the ColecoVision and enjoyed the hell out of them, although just saying "ColecoVision" ages a person like ten years...

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It's at least partly because I keep coming in midstream, but I haven't loved a lot of Captain America stories in his regular title for some time. There was something I enjoyed this issue, though! From 2024, Captain America #13/LEG#763, "The Last Stand of the Front Door, part 2" Written by J. Michael Straczynski, art by Carlos Magno. I got the David Yardin variant, which kinda looks like Morbius is giving Cap the business; I couldn't be lucky enough to get the Godzilla variant from the dollar bin!

Again, I'm coming in midway through a storyline, but I don't think I'd ever be onboard with pseudo-Starlin level metaphysics in a Cap book; as here he's working for Lyra, an embodiment of Life itself, to stop her brother Death from wiping out the human race, as he's somewhat understandably sick of watching us kill each other. With a small team of mutants (new ones, nobody we know!) and a Guardian (who I don't think is Heather from Alpha Flight? I was confused because she's had not-Canadian flag costumes before, but feels like that'd be mentioned somewhere, and she has a sword: OK, pretty sure now she's just for this arc) they have to get a psychic, Malik, to the "mystical safe house" of the Front Door Cabaret. Death gives a ton of power to a massive crowd, threatening them with their own demises if they don't comply and stop Cap and friends. Taking back some magic rings, which I hope isn't a Captain Planet riff, Cap throws down with Death, to force him to draw that power back. Lyra had offered Cap a chance, to go back to his old life, to "lay down his burden," which feels a lot like trying to comment on his MCU arc, but we know darn well Cap isn't going to cop out here, and he doesn't.

Death gives Cap a pretty bad beating, before he realizes Malik was safe and he'd lost; which to him meant the suffering of humanity would be extended. He threatens Cap, that a bad end was coming for him. With seemingly everyone gone, while healing up Steve wonders if they made it, but thinks he might never know...while unseen behind him, a flowerbed blooms.

So, that didn't work for me much, except seeing Cap being Cap, even in a plotline that didn't feel like it was for him; but the next issue had Spidey and Thor guest-starring, so maybe Straczynski could course-correct from there. What I did like, was a Deadpool and Wolverine "Street Ball" ad, in the style of the great Spalding Jack Davis ad from the 70's! I know I've seen Wolvie and Pool hoop it up multiple times (like when I first started reading Deadpool!) but my headcanon now is that they sucked and always have. Wolvie's short and heavy as hell, no way he can jump...(Pretty sure that's Ryan North and Scott Koblish.)

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"Warning: Read Siege #4 before this book!" I keep telling you, you can't make me!

They tried to do the same thing for Sentry: Fallen Sun, too. Will I like this issue any more...or less? From 2010, the New Avengers: Finale #1, written by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils by Bryan Hitch and others, inks by Butch Guice, Andrew Currie, Mark Morales, and others.

I actually have read Siege, and off the top of my head, the only things I can recollect are a pep talk for the bad guys that Asgardians were creampuffs and Thor was like their Spider-Man, the only tough one; and Norman Osborn unmasked in his Iron Patriot suit and found to be wearing...like Green Goblin facepaint underneath? It's a striking visual that does not make a helluva lot of sense: he had been crazy before, sure, but portrayed as a savvy master-planner always at least two steps ahead of everyone, not a drooling nutbag. This would be the end of Norman's time as everyone's villain and send him back to just being Spidey's. Anyway, with Norman under arrest, a ton of villains captured, and oh yeah, I guess Asgard had fallen? But, the New Avengers had been wanted by the law for quite a stretch, and weren't really sure if they still were at this point. Still, they were holding a grudge against the Hood, and even if he had lost his powers (again! How many times has that happened?) they had no intention of letting him rebuild power; either his own or organizational. The Hood had escaped with Madame Masque, who takes him to her dad, Count Nefaria, in the hopes of getting his powers back. Or some powers. Whatever. (I had mistakenly thought Silvermane was Masque's father, or maybe wasn't going to let that get in the way of a joke!)

Weird, this would be two years before Bendis would shoehorn Count Nefaria into another attempt at a big finish, Moon Knight #12. I suppose he's needed here so this isn't just a cakewalk for Ms. (Captain) Marvel, but the Avengers bring in everyone; which feels like should spell doom for the Hood, since I can't see him not getting repeatedly shanked in prison. Steve Rogers is made "America's top cop," a title I don't miss. Their names cleared, and Luke Cage reunited with Jessica Jones and their kid, the team enjoys a rare walk in the sun. 

This was the end of Bendis's long time with the Avengers. which was usually more miss than hit for me; even as he still has the occasional decent character beat; like Nefaria badmouthing the Hood, asking what Whitney saw in him. But, and I could say this was of its time, but it's also petty and mean? The Avengers go out of their way to intimidate and torture the Hood's cousin to get info (lightly torture, if there's such a thing) and their takedown of the bad guys is a bit over the top: Nefaria boasts of being immortal, so they bring Wolverine in to stab him a bunch? Moreover, I should enjoy Hitch art more than I do; but neither the Ultimates nor the Authority have aged especially well for me. Which I'm pretty sure wasn't his fault, but here we are. There's also a sizeable stretch of the story set under red lights, for...reasons? Like the colorist got it on sale? And then a pin-up section-slash-series retrospective by various artists, if that does anything for you.

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I haven't paid for Disney+ for a while, but I have all of Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes on DVD: I didn't have all of the comic series, though! From 2013, Marvel Universe Avengers Earth's Mightiest Heroes #15, adapting "Acts of Vengeance" Written by Michael Ryan, adapted by Joe Caramagna. Cover by Chris Jones.

You might notice, no artist credits there, since the art was taken directly from the show! While it works pretty well, it also feels like a weird throwback, to Marvel's old movie adaptations. But, do you really need to adapt something that's available on-demand? (If you pay for the service, of course.) Despite the title, this isn't related to the classic crossover: instead, several members of Baron Zemo's Masters of Evil have been picked off, forcing him to go to the Avengers for help, since he thought only Thor would be able to save him from the Enchantress. He explains that she was still mad over not being able to destroy the earth with the Norn Stones, and thought Zemo still had the last one, which he of course denies. In his requests, Zemo always addresses them pointedly to Captain America, the only Avenger he felt he could trust...although, while it's not referenced here directly, at this point in the series, that trust is misplaced! (It's not a spoiler if you saw the last episode of the first season, "A Day Unlike Any Other.")

The B-plot was the long-awaited face-turn for Wonder Man, who sacrifices himself to destroy the last Norn Stone, after Zemo's inevitable betrayal. He had been touched that Tony had been working on a cure for his ionic condition, and Tony regrets being unable to help him better control it. Still, Black Panther says, today he proved he could have been an Avenger, all along.

Absolutely loved that show, and still do; but we've seen other issues with new stories, which I would prefer. This series switched over to adaptations with #13 and would run that way until #18, which I have in a digest: it adapts "Michael Korvac" and it's a good one. Read more!

I don't think the Damage Control guys could...control my damage, around here; but today we've got the last issue of their third and final original mini-series: from 1991, Damage Control #4, "Cleanliness is Next to Godliness" Written by Dwayne McDuffie, art by Ernie Colón.

Clean-freak DC employee Rex Randolph accidentally handled a cosmic artifact at a clean-up site, which he used to turn himself into Edifice Rex. Galactus has sent the Silver Surfer to earth, to collect some of Damage Control for information: cheery Bart Rozum is having a swell time of it, while account exec John Porter is able stop screaming, eventually. They are taken before the "Cosmic Congress," a name I hope they don't use often; the usual big names like Lord Chaos and Master Order, the In-Betweener, Death and Oblivion, and Eternity and Infinity. All of whom seem to be a little snarky with the puny humans; why do we need to talk to them again? (Because like 99 out of 100 cosmic-doodad-weapons ends up on earth, duh.)

Summoned before the group, after doing Infinity's nails, Edifice Rex enlarges himself to equal status with Eternity and Galactus, to explain himself: the universe was basically one giant mess since the big bang, right? Just spreading like an orange juice spill on a clean countertop. Rex was going to clean it all back up, compress the whole universe back down into the cosmic egg, then maybe put it on a nice shelf or something. This sounds pretty terrible to everyone, except Master Order, who seems up for it. The big cosmic names seem unsure what, if any, action to take: fighting Rex could do more damage to the universe, or as foreman Lenny Ballinger points out, maybe they're just afraid of getting their asses kicked.

Earth's mightiest heroes are gathered (and the Punisher, who had met Damage Control before, because more cosmic events need a really angry guy shooting at them...) but John makes a suggestion to CEO Robin Chapel, who fires Rex. No longer a Damage Control employee, there was no longer any need for him to clean anything up; so that takes the wind out of his sails. And Damage Control gives out a lot of their cards, to the heroes as they leave.

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"Kick."

Every time there's a toy show, there's always some figure I buy that I'm later asking "why?" and probably a couple I'm kicking myself for not buying. This time around I bought a Marvel Legends Toad--I think the first series one, that kind of sucks? He's dingy and not as articulated as a usual Legends figure, since I think he was repurposed into that line. And I didn't buy a Dr. Doom with a very sharp aftermarket cloth cape, or the Marvel Super-Heroes video game Thanos! The latter had been part of a set with Psylocke and may be tough to dig up now. That said, I did get a coupon for Never Enough Toys, and I'll be checking them out later today--as I type this, anyway, this won't post for a bit! (I got a DCUC Cyborg Superman, and um, the Widow-mom from the Black Widow movie. Melina Vostokova, or such. That's at least the second time I've got a figure from a two-pack there, and the more desirable one at that!)

How many strips have I done with figures from video games that I don't play? A goddamn ton! But I love the first two Marvel Capcom games: I was never really good at the combo system on the third. I don't think current fighting games go for the leftfield, oddball characters anymore, though; like Shuma-Gorath. (The Tekken series is another, that I think used to have so many weirdos and has largely phased them out?) Anyway, so far Shuma's the only one of the recent video game Legends that I've picked up, because he was the only new character for me: I have Psylocke, Silver Samurai, Juggernaut figures.

   

For Blackheart, I wanted to emulate his "Heart of Darkness" hyper combo; and I had those Shadow Demons from Super 7's Dungeons & Dragons . That was probably half off retail at Ross, but good luck: I've seen a bit of Super 7 backstock there, but it's a crapshoot. I did see Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Skull at one; much cheaper, but then getting him without Bulk seems like getting David Spade without Chris Farley. OK, maybe not that bad.  .

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This specifically doesn't count; and yet, here we are!

I did check a couple stores and more than a few bins, to see if I lucked into another iteration of Avengers #23: Bendis had one in 2012, Hickman in 2014 that looks like the new issue of 'Infinity,', and course there were stacks of variants and spin-offs: West Coast, New, Academy, Savage, Spotlight, Uncanny...the point is just that comics numbering is largely a nightmare and probably a hindrance to new readers. But, we've got one more issue, partly because I think I've bought it more than once and keep forgetting! From 1994, Avengers Annual #23, "Strangers on an Astral Plane" Written by Roy Thomas, art by John Buscema.

Yes, it's a riff on the Hitchcock classic Strangers on a Train, albeit in a bit more forced way. Pluto and Loki bump into each other, on a distant astral plane: Pluto was currently forbidden by Zeus from leaving Hades, while Loki was trapped in Mephisto's hell, yet they seem to be out for a little constitutional. And, Loki suggests, maybe they can help each other out: Loki could bump off Hercules, while Pluto wacked Thor. They would be able to look innocent; or at least set up alibis ahead of time. Back at Avengers' Mansion, it's two of the main activities we usually see there: training and brooding! Hercules and Captain America are both distracted and gloomy today. There's probably a board for it somewhere, like you see at daycares or animal sanctuaries.

In Hades, Loki frees the Titan Typhon, who should just be happy to get away from the torture, but wanted revenge against Herc and the Avengers for beating him way back in Avengers #50; also by Roy and John! Loki also frees some other Titans, partly because they jumped him, but also because Hercules would probably have back-up. He maybe didn't have to worry; since when the Titans attack Herc at a fancy restaurant, Herc refrains from calling the Avengers, but his ID card is activated in the fight. The Avengers don't arrive in time, as the Titans escape with the captured Herc, for a quick trip back to Hades, to dip Herc in the waters of the river Lethe, which brings forgetfulness! (This memory loss for Herc was a plot point in the MST3K favorite Hercules Unchained! Although I don't recall if the Lethe was mentioned by name.) Not remembering otherwise, Hercules is easily convinced that Typhon was his pal, and they all had been wrongly sent to Hades by Zeus, which is close enough to crap Zeus actually had done to Herc that it seems true. Sneaking up Mount Olympus, Typhon recovers his axe from a mystic brazier which then goes out, reducing the Olympic pantheon to mere intangible wisps.

The Avengers currently had Thunderstrike on the roster, and while he wasn't as adept at transporting to other realms as Thor, he's able to (eventually) get the team to Olympus: the team had figured Typhon might want to kill Hercules in front of Zeus, and Cap recognizes this as being not unlike Typhon's last appearance. While the Avengers fight the other Titans, it's down to Cap--who was at a low point, the "Fighting Chance" storyline where the Super-Soldier Serum was breaking down in his system. Cap goads Herc with comments about his dead wife and kids, which led to Herc having to complete his Twelve Labors to redeem himself, and in remembering, Herc diverts a river, washing Cap headfirst into a wall. Herc goes after him, intent on maybe showing him how he strangled the Nemean Lion, but the water of Olympus returns his memories. Hercules then rescues Cap, and together they start in on Typhon; with Cap passing his axe to the other Avengers to relight the brazier; even though Typhon reverts to a more horrible tentacled version in the fight.

With the Titans defeated and Zeus and the other Olympians restored, Typhon is questioned but refuses to talk; and Pluto has been chilling with his wife Persephone, innocent as a baby lamb. Still, now Pluto has to make arrangements to re-imprison the Titans...and kill Thor. That would be in Thor Annual #19, which I'm pretty sure wasn't the best. Also this issue: Giant-Man and Vision in "Master of his own Density," story and art by Al Milgrom. An AI "Glitch" that looks like a more articulate Kremzeek tries to take over the Vision. In a training session, Giant-Man realizes the Vision was getting dumber every time he tried to change his density, until Glitch takes over. But Glitch may end up in his own trap...

I went back to add the Pluto/Persephone panel, since it was a very Buscema panel, and great! And I did like to see Herc's concern and honestly, affection, for Cap: like Thor, Herc seems to just like Cap more than the other Avengers usually do. Read more!

A Sunday post! Feels like it's been a while since we've had one, but since it's the 23rd, we'll continue our streak of Avengers #23's going--with an asterisk. Despite having a solid batch of the run, my local comic shop did not have Marvel Triple Action #17, nor the original, which would doubtless have been a bit rich for my blood. Luckily, we have a budget-conscious alternative! Reprinted in Essential Avengers #1,1965's Avengers #23, "Once an Avenger..." Written by Stan Lee, pencils by Don Heck, inks by John Romita.

This was the "Cap's Kooky Quartet" phase of the team, with Captain America, Hawkeye, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch; half of whom couldn't stand the other half at any given time. To wit, after the events of the previous issue, Cap had just quit; either because he felt he failed as their leader, or he was sick of those jerks. Hawkeye and Quicksilver keep the sniping going, and I'm just surprised they aren't full-on accusing each other of driving Cap away; while Wanda has a bit of a crush on him and misses watching him workout already. Meanwhile, it appears to have taken Steve Rogers about 30 seconds to get to upstate New York and get a job 'training' boxers, by which I mean thumping them somewhat mercilessly. Well, they were probably the 'learn by doing' types, so okay. Also meanwhile or wherever he is in time, Kang was plotting against the remnants of the Avengers, at their lowest ebb. Step one: add another level to their house. Yeah, that'll teach 'em. Actually, it might: Kang's ship, disguised to the outside world as another story of the mansion, is full of traps and easily defeats the three, who maybe are all missing Cap now.

Kang returns with his captives to his future, and has a gruff meeting with "puppet ruler" Ravonna. So far she seems to hate Kang's guts, considering him a mere "commoner," despite the fact that Kang did have a pretty legit army then. Back at the training camp, the news of the Avengers' capture makes the news, and Steve punches out the current champ so he can take off. Back in the future, the Avengers are trapped in clear cells, but the Scarlet Witch manages to shatter hers, although it takes all her hex juice and she was "vulnerable" and dizzy now, which definitely feels like that's because she's the girl. Realizing they're not on their home turf, the Avengers try to fight it out, despite being swarmed by Kang's guards and gizmos. Kang is perhaps even impressed, since this team didn't have anywhere near the power of the old roster, but was still giving it a go. Hit by strength-sapping beams, only Quicksilver escapes; but Kang is interrupted by a message from the past: Cap has used a "recreater" device of Iron Man's, to see that Kang had taken the team, and now was calling him out.

With Ravonna in his control room, Kang has to play the big man, and opts to bring Cap to the future to show he didn't fear him. To give Cap a chance, Ravonna changes where he would land: Kang knows what she's doing, but goes with it. Quicksilver finds Cap, and together they storm through the guards, to face Kang himself; largely as Kang intended. He's showing off for Ravonna and her royal court, trying to neg her into marriage; and if that didn't work, his army would come down on her kingdom like a ton of bricks. Ravonna has a bit of an aside, that she might have been into Kang maybe, if he'd not tried to impress her with conquering? Hawkeye and the Scarlet Witch rejoin the fight, as Kang signals his army to attack... 

OK, let's set the wayback machine and confirm something: Ravonna appeared--sort of, in a corpse-like state--in 1969's Avengers #71, which was reprinted in Marvel Super Action #32, which I've mentioned was one of my first Avengers comics. MSA #32 would've been on stands late March/early April 1981; the other earliest Avengers I read was #211, which was from June '81! So, now I know which was first.

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Either there's a theme this week, or I'm Groundhog's Day'ing...

There might be a bit that seems familiar this issue, but by god they put a great spin on it. From 1999, Avengers #23, "Showdown" Written by Kurt Busiek, pencils by George Perez, inks by Al Vey.

The entire creative team was firing on all cylinders, and today so was Captain America, recently reunited with his shield after several months with that photonic replacement. Running a training mission in the Mansion, Justice also seemed to be in gear as well; seemingly over his stage fright, even with a broken leg. But, today's main drama was yet to come, as Wanda goes to have a talk with the Vision. She knew he still loved her, even if she was with Wonder Man now; the Vision says, that's his problem, not hers. Simon tries to make things better, by busting in and saying Vision shouldn't bottle up his feelings, and boy, does he uncork something. (The Starkings/Comicraft lettering? Chef's kiss. So good.)

Vision just wants Wanda to be happy, but does have a bone to pick with Simon: he likes jazz! Pretentious bastar--no, that's not the main issue; he also likes chess and Walt Kelly. Simon is thrilled: his brother, Eric, the Grim Reaper, wasn't into any of that stuff; but he and Vision had things in common. This catches Simon a sock to the jaw, since he was missing the point in an epic fashion. And then we pause for a big preview of Doomsday and Young Allies, which really should've had some credits: I'm pretty sure that's Mike McKone and Mark Bagley, respectively.

Wanda is surprised Vision would lash out like that--um, they're superheroes, that's how they work through stuff usually?--and Vision apologizes and takes off, with Simon right behind him. Vision admits, he feels like he was a complete fake: everything he was, was just a copy of Simon's brain engrams: they both had a type, apparently, namely Wanda. He was a pale reflection, no longer needed, but at least Wanda was with the real thing now. Simon turns that back on him, though; surprised Vision didn't know how much Simon envied him. He had made a lot of bad choices, from embezzling from his company to signing up to get super-powers from Baron Zemo; yet had been forgiven or even praised for his 'bravery' over and over. To Simon, the Vision was the best version of himself. Taken aback, Vision needs to think about that, and takes off; leaving Simon to wonder if he would be back...or if he was just something else he had broken. 

The Vision's "am I a real boy" fit has been done a few times, before and since, and swings pretty wildly from writer to writer: I think he is 'real,' with authentic feelings and thoughts, but feels like he has to act like he's just an automaton. Also this issue: the ongoing protests at Avengers' Mansion, with a seeming laundry-list of grievances. Foremost today, the lack of diversity in the current team roster, which would be addressed later. And new bad guys the Exemplars continued to grow their numbers: they were all avatars of assorted Marvel Universe magic, and technically Juggernaut was one of them, even if he doesn't want in...And, a favorite Bullpen Bits strip from Chris Giarrusso!

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Long-time readers may have noticed I still use the tag "quarterbooks" all the time, even though honestly? The cheap bins haven't usually been a quarter for some time. That said, we might have some holdovers later in the week; but I got a spare copy of this one for two bucks--look, there was absolutely no chance I was leaving it--and we had been wanting to blog it anyway. From 2022, Immortal X-Men #007, "Part 7: Red in Blue" Written by Kieron Gillen, art by Lucas Werneck. Cover by Mark Brooks. I'm already pretty sure this is going to be a longer and more tangent filled one than usual, even for me, so let's see where we go.

This was part of the Avengers/X-Men/Eternals Judgment Day crossover, but Nightcrawler is trying to put a positive spin on things this morning with the Krakoan Quiet Council...that was one aspect of the Krakoa era I didn't enjoy, and you would think I'd like seeing Kurt get his due; but it really felt like he was there as a token with a friendly face, to suggest maybe the option that would hurt the least amount of people and then get immediately voted down by the rest. Friggin' democracy...Still, Kurt felt that the Celestials had been a test, and earth was going to pass. The Black King immediately offers, bet. Kurt is perhaps taken aback, since if the world failed the test, um, they all die? Seemingly shrugging, the Black King calls it "disaster capitalism" but also seems to think the mutants could fight it out if worse came to worst; which Emma seems interested in betting against herself. Mystique hedges her bet, asking Destiny what she thought: "I'm petrified." Immediately, the sky turns red, with a seeming hurricane of energy raining meteors; the Black King asks, that doesn't look like a pass to him. (I don't think the Black King and Kurt had ever had a ton of interaction, but while Emma has the cash for a bet with him, Kurt almost certainly does not!)

The Council makes disaster plans, and Kurt is annoyed when Mr. Sinister comes back with a suggestion: bringing back multiples of the late Magneto and spamming the Celestial with them. This was despite the resurrection rules, Magneto's last wishes, treaty with Arakko, and general decency; Kurt despairs, maybe the Celestial was right. But, he notices Destiny hadn't been telling them anything, and opts to "catch up" with his "evil stepmom," by teleporting with her miles over Krakoa. (Kurt's real relation to Destiny was still coming!) Destiny is pretty sure Kurt wouldn't kill her, and she's right, but he was making a point: the feeling of falling, that you were absolutely doomed--unless someone stepped in and saved you. She admits she can see a path, but had been reluctant to take it. Another aside, since it would come up again this issue: Nightcrawler is usually seen as one of the 'softer' X-types, a pacifist marshmallow, not a killer at all; but somehow he bluffs incredibly well! I think that's just a side effect of his looks and probably not one he's thrilled about, but sometimes...

Step one: get Captain America, who was in New York City, where a crowd of anti-mutant protestors had just died. Kurt glances at one of the Orchis flyers, before crumpling it up and throwing it away; and is again frustrated that the world was ending, but some people were still trying to take advantage of it. He knows, if he fails and the world does deserve to die, all those jerks will die with it; if Kurt was right they all get to live. Complicated. Kurt gets Cap to the North Pole, but also sneaks a blood sample and slips it to Illyana, for plan B and that Cap-smashing-out-of-a-gold-egg-with-his-shield bit later in the series, also briefly seen later here. (100% Rule of Cool there: that didn't necessarily make sense, but looked great!)

Cap and Kurt are immediately killed by the Celestial; a noble sacrifice to bring the world together, that I also think should've qualified as Kurt's audition for the Avengers. Absolutely serious there. I swear, the Professor must've made Kurt sign a non-compete when he first became an X-Man; or hit him with the franchise tag. Kurt immediately respawns on Krakoa, but this was slightly different from usual: it was a "live" back-up. Usually, mutants brought back wouldn't have to remember being killed; but Kurt didn't have time to play catch-up today, so he now had to live with the firsthand knowledge of what getting torn apart molecule by molecule felt like. (I'm guessing, itchy.) Next, the Celestial was going to attack Krakoa, and while they could've evacuated everyone, per Destiny's plan, they could trick the Celestial, if some mutants stayed behind and died. One in ten. Far more volunteer. Hope, tearing up, swears to bring them all back; while Kurt just gets angrier. Goldballs has to stay behind: they needed one of the Five in the resurrection protocol to appear lost, but they had eggs stockpiled, and could bring him back...if they lived. Sinister makes a crack, about breaking some eggs, and Kurt nearly stabs him. Mystique and Destiny also stay behind in the sacrifice play: Destiny still saw that, as their ultimate way through it. Sinister, on the other hand, makes arrangements to bail: this would come up in the Sins of Sinister event, but he had means to "reboot" and take data back with him and try again. Which wasn't working. Ah, technology. (It's a solid joke at Sinister's expense, but also to keep this event from crashing the next one!)

"Plan B" was sidestepping the Quiet Council, breaking a rule to bring back the non-mutant Cap, and Hope has to browbeat Exodus down: was she his damn messiah, or wasn't she? Next, we see Kurt pulling himself out of an egg again, with Proteus remaking his outfit: Kurt notes, the once-horrible Proteus had changed, which was encouraging. Kurt goes back through a Krakoan portal, into orbit, so Illyana could teleport him, giving directions as he did; while Exodus watches, seemingly awed: he had previously thought this plan a "waste of eggs," but was now watching Kurt die again and again and again: Christ only had to be crucified, once. Kurt keeps teleporting into the Orchis forge, facing Nimrod and Moira MacTaggart, amid a pile of his own still-smoldering corpses. Kurt was trying to get past Nimrod to Moira, which had taken at least nine deaths at this point; but really reminds me of the video game Gauntlet. It was a quarter-eater, with a voice chip to tell you warnings like "Elf is about to die" or "I've not seen such bravery!" The latter I think was usually triggered by charging headlong into it and eating a ton of damage, but if you had more quarters it wasn't a losing strategy...

This try, Kurt glances Nimrod's head with his fingertips, just enough to teleport away a good chunk of that damn robot's head: he knows it would self-repair, but too late. (The framing of that panel is interesting: I feel it's like from a classical piece, but don't know enough art history to nail it down.) Grabbing Moira, he gives her a bit of a bluff, slapping a doohickey on her head that he claims would wipe her memories. He's lying, but he also knows "she's more scared of true death than anyone I've ever met," which gives her pause long enough for Kurt's message: a warning from Destiny, that the Celestial was about to destroy the Orchis station. She curses him out while they get to an escape ship, but Kurt knew she wouldn't have believed, or would've tried to outfight the Celestial and failed. Moira fumes, that Orchis and the X-Men would never be able to work together, but in Kurt's eyes, today was much simpler, with only two sides: life or death. Grinning, he advises her to "try something new...don't be such a grump." 

That last bit feels like an extension of a point the Krakoa era seemed to push: that mutants--and ultimately, everyone--in the final analysis, we're all on the same team, right? Sink or swim together? But even if you share goals, sometimes there's no getting around differences of opinion in how to achieve them: was Kurt ever really going to be able to come to terms with how the Black King or Mr. Sinister got results? Should he?...no, they're dicks; but they weren't the only ones. I also had to look up; there's a sequence in the main Judgment Day series where the Celestial, the Progenitor, passes judgment on several characters, and it's interesting who passed and who failed. Cap himself notably failed, since he was meant to inspire America to be better, and...OK, (gestures around broadly) yeah, but I don't think you can pin all that on Cap even if he probably agreed there. We don't see Kurt's judgment, so it's up to you: did he pass? I'd say yes, but of course he's my special favorite that's never done anything wrong; and he very likely could fall into the same Catholic guilt trap that failed Daredevil: you've done a lot, but have you done everything you could?

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