What's more unbelievable, Goody Two-Shoes, or that office?

John Byrne has a bit of a perhaps-not-entirely undeserved rep as being a bit egotistical, but he used to occasionally poke fun at himself too. Like today's book! From Assistant Editor's Month in 1984, the Thing #7, "Two-Fisted Feet!" and "What Th'?!" Art by Ron Wilson in the first story, by Byrne in the second, and both edited by Ann Nocenti!

Despite the title, the opener starts with drama, as Ben visits Alicia in the hospital, and contemplates if he could retire from the super-hero biz...or if the only way out is feet first. Later, walking the streets of New York, he happens upon a police barricade, as the cops are stymied by a man claiming to be a super-villain, who then kicks Ben into a building! The villain's name...Goody Two-Shoes, and his atomic boots! The Swedish Super-villain kicks Ben up and down the city, until Ben gets mad, rallies, and scores a comeback victory.

At least, that's how Byrne and Wilson tell it in the comic. An enraged Ben Grimm heads down to the Marvel offices immediately after reading the issue, to confront "those blankety-blank idiots!" There really was a Goody Two-Shoes, but the fight would have been two panels long; and Ron and Ann convince the Thing they had to jazz the story up for the readers, and so the Thing didn't look like a bully. Byrne unfortunately interjects that sometimes Ben's life "isn't that interesting," so Ben decides to show them just how interestin' things can get, as it were.

Wilson's not bad at all, but nobody draws a grumpy, fuming Thing like Byrne. Oddly, I was thinking of a Star Wars comic from about that time, the famed Assistant Editor's Month, that I think Nocenti edited as well--nope! Eliot Brown. With Lando cosplaying as Captain Harlock! But we'll check that out another time.