Good idea: making a list of all the Earth X/Universe X/Paradise X books I've bought additional copies of, to see what I need to complete another run of that. Better idea: maybe putting that list somewhere I'd actually be able to read it while I'm looking, like in my phone or something? No, that makes too much sense. And I'm at least 40% sure I hadn't bought another of this one, anyway: from 2000, 4 (Universe X) #1, plot by Alex Ross, plot and script by Jim Krueger, art by Brent Anderson, additional inks by Will Blyberg. Cover by Alex Ross.

Unlike most characters in the Earth X setting, at the start Ben Grimm is happy and thriving, largely retired, and living with his wife Alicia and their two boys, Buzz and Chuck. (Alicia had gained some kind of sculpt-to-life powers in the Terrigen Mists, and maybe wasn't blind anymore, so she was doing way better than a lot of the people changed thusly.) Reed Richards, however, is a wreck; having not only lost Sue and Johnny, but also Franklin: as X-51 recaps at the start of this one, Franklin was Galactus now, but unaware of who he had been prior; Reed couldn't tell him without changing him back, and Galactus was needed to eat planets and keep the Celestials' numbers down. Still, Galactus had been summoned to earth previously, and defended it, when called as Franklin; now he asks X-51 to tell him of Franklin Richards, trying to determine why that name meant something to him.

Meanwhile, at Castle Doom, problems continued to pile up: Adam Warlock had returned, although Ben wonders why he wasn't trying harder to find Her. Even as Reed's "human torches" worked to burn away the Terrigen, Warlock and Her's son was the source of a lot of strife with mutated humanity, so Reed stashed the kid the last place anyone would expect: with Namor, who was still half on fire, since killing Johnny Storm. This triggers a sidebar about the nature of mutation, at least in the Earth X mythos, that might give 'Galactus' a clue as to what he had become. (Basically, if stage 1 mutation was random and stage 2 somewhat more of what the mutant wanted, stage 3 was like becoming what the universe needed you to be; which may have meant the end of what you had been.)

Reed send Ben to Namor, with one instruction: "Don't hit him." Yeah, you're sending the wrong guy then, Reed. In the underwater fight, Ben inadvertently frees Orca, Tiger Shark, and TS's sister Diane; the latter of whom had been mutated by the Terrigen as well. Ben's helmet is smashed, but he's saved by Namor giving him mouth-to-mouth, which is beyond mortifying for him. Namor then introduces him to Warlock's 'son,' the reborn Captain Mar-Vell, who Ben calls Marv; that name might stick. Marv explains, there was nothing for Ben to be mad at Namor about, it wasn't his fault. Then, the kicker: the afterlife, for super-heroes and villains, wasn't heaven but not quite hell: everyone that had died and gone there, thought they were still alive, and that those still alive were dead instead! So, grudge fights continued, as Sue and Johnny thought Reed and Ben were dead, and were still fighting Doctor Doom. Marv was in both universes now, appearing in the dead one as an adult with the Enigma Force, as he has a conversation with Stephen Strange and the Micronauts' Commander Rann, who had given Marv the Enigma Force. (The dead universe is also color-swapped: the Scarlet Witch was green there, Doom's usual green cape was red; Sue and Johnny's FF uniforms were now orange and the numbers were backwards!)

X-51 continues to explain-without-explaining why Reed had called 'Franklin' and 'Galactus' had come: after first meeting Uatu on the moon, Reed would have realized, the Watcher had always been watching, and maybe not as a friend. The FF had travelled back into the past (more than once! But FF #19 is referenced here) and Uatu would have seen that, before they actually met him. Uatu would've known of the Inhumans, the secret origins of vibranium, the creation of Adam Warlock: all of this might have inspired Reed to investigate the Microverse and the Negative Zone, perhaps looking for a place away from prying eyes...In the dead universe, Marv plans to reunite Reed and Sue: not by killing Reed, but by bringing Sue back, if they can convince her that she was really dead. Johnny had been convinced, but Sue tells him the only thing that would convince her would be to "get Victor Von Doom to come to me and apologize for his entire existence."

An aside: to keep the narration clear, X-51 is given caption boxes with like a circuitry underlay. They're really annoying to read at a glance, you have to focus there! But, pressed further, X-51 explains how Frankin's mutations had affected him: he'd been turned into an adult, back to a kid, a teenager for a bit, kid again, with the Celestials later keeping tabs on him after he had created the "Heroes Reborn" pocket universe. Galactus forces X-51 to admit, Franklin had been a threat to the Celestials; which doesn't add up for him, since 'Galactus' thought he was the only threat to the Celestials. Back in the dead universe, Johnny faces off with Doom: almost literally, as he unmasks him, to show him his scars were gone. Although, he does threaten, he wasn't quite sure how it worked there, but probably could scar him up again if needed.

Forced into a corner, X-51 shows 'Galactus' the final fate of Franklin Richards: killed by Sentinels in X-Men #141...huh? 'Galactus' accepts that explanation, and annoyed that he wasted time talking to a robot, leaves. X-51 is confused, since he knows it didn't go down like that, at least for his world, and is grudgingly forced to consult with Uatu. Namor takes Marv and Ben back to Castle Doom, but then leaves, saying he wanted it to happen but he couldn't be there for it. Marv asks Reed to tell him about Sue, and he breaks down, since he had never even really been able to mourn her. In the dead universe, Sue does get that apology from Doom, who explains everything, from how his hurt pride led to everything he had done, to how he had always been able to manipulate Namor by not letting him split his time in and out of water correctly, to trying to kill Reed with a 'suicide' bomb. It wouldn't really have been suicide, Doom had planned to teleport away; but he chose to kill Sue instead to hurt Reed more, then his teleport failed and he died as well. Looking back on it there, Doom is able to see...yeah.

Now that Sue accepted her death, Marv was able to bring her back: using Reed's right arm as the clay, Alicia sculpts Sue, then Warlock gives her the soul gem, returning her to the living universe. This isn't a sacrifice for Warlock: Ben had thought his soul had been in the gem as well, but Warlock says he was now free, and takes his leave to go find his wife, which should get an "atta boy" from Ben. And back on the moon, X-51 offers to plug Uatu back in, so he can at least hear the world; if he can explain why he was seeing different histories...to be continued, in Universe X #1? Good lord, I thought we were further in than that. But, along with being a satisfyingly dense read, this issue shows how they were able to take something editorially inconsistent like Franklin's multiple age changes, and make them make sense. Sure, you have to go around the long way, but it gets there!  

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"Rescue."

Production hit a snag where I had to dig up the alternate hands for Ghos--er, Spirit Spider. I don't love that latter name, it sounds like the Spider that moves into a storefront when something goes out of business... Read more!

Shoot, do I haveta buy another Rom figure?

I have two, of course, but one is unopened on my wall! Still, this was one of the issues I had as a kid, so a good one to finally hit: from 1981, Rom #25, featuring "Galador!" Written by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Sal Buscema, inks by Joe Sinnott; and "Love Will Tear Us Apart" Written by Stephen Grant, pencils by Greg LaRocque, inks by Steve Mitchell.

Some have pointed out some similarities between the silver Spaceknight here, and Marvel's own Silver Surfer: aside from the coloring, both were insanely noble, and had made horrible sacrifices to save their respective homeworlds, and later earth. But the Surfer's timeline is somewhat vague as to how long he was Galactus's herald: in-story, it seems like it could've been centuries, although the Surfer's girl Shalla Bal didn't seem to have gotten old and died, so maybe it wasn't? Here, Rom returns to Galador, after leaving 200 years ago to continue fighting the Dire Wraiths. Which is why he's confused when he's greeted as though he had never left? And that he was their Prime Director? The people hail and kneel to him, as the Hawkman-like Angel Elite form an honor guard/perimeter around him, saying they had not realized he intended to go out in public. Rom thinks back over his history, and the first two years of the book, as he approaches the "Hall of Science!" It's a bit foreboding to him, as that's where he had been made into a cyborg Spaceknight, but also where his remaining human parts were still stored...He notices the doors were now covered with carvings, of his own heroic deeds; but that was troubling in itself since the Galadorians had never glorified war.

Before he can enter, Rom is confronted, by another Rom: it doesn't get a big reveal, it's on the cover, okay? Rom-2 also had the ornaments of office, the "Living Lightning" which look a lot like the thunderbolts Arkon threw around, and the "Golden Globe of Power," which looks like a pain in the ass to hold with Rom's mitteny hands. Rom scans his duplicate with his analyzer, thinking it would be a shape-changing Dire Wraith: instead, Rom-2 was almost a literal mirror image of himself, human where he was machine, and vice versa. The Angel Elite fry Rom with weaponry that seemed specifically created to zap him; captured, he's hung up in a stasis field. Really surprised they didn't lean into the crucifixation angle of that; that might be a tokusatsu thing. Rom-2 and a hooded figure question him: was he sure he was the real Rom? Uh, yes; this wasn't anywhere as close to breaking him as they seemed to think it would be, but the worst was yet to come. Rom-2 was really Rom's old friend Terminator: all of his human parts had been lost, so he was probably happy just to have Rom's spare bits. The hooded figure reveals himself to be...Mentus! That name doesn't really mean anything to Rom, but he was the 'evil' side of the previous Prime Director...y'know, he probably had a name besides the job title, but okay. The Prime Director, grieving that he had asked a generation to sacrifice its humanity, tried to project his will into a Spaceknight shell, but instead of creating an alternative to making cyborgs, just released his evil side. Mentus then faked the PD's death, but the populace greeted the returning 'Rom' as a hero and gave him the position. The people believed him when he said the Dire Wraiths were defeated, but Mentus was actually moving Galador to the Wraith's dark nebula: he was going to give them Galador, in exchange for ruling them, which he assumed they would in awe of his evil.

Back in Clairton, WV; Brandy Clark takes Steve Jackson to the drive-in movies, but not for anything fun: she needed to talk to him without anyone listening, since she could tell people were acting changed. Steve doesn't think they had been replaced by Wraiths, since they had new hero the Torpedo to watch for that, but after a mysterious fog settles in, the townsfolk turn on them like zombies. Worse, after they escape to the Torpedo's house, they find it filled with the same fog...

Meanwhile, on Galador, the Prime Director tries to encourage Rom, telling him Mentus fed on despair. Summoning his neutralizer from subspace, Rom frees himself, then the PD, then the frozen Spaceknights that had returned over the years but been betrayed by Terminator and Mentus. The Spaceknights strike first, to disable the duped Angel Elite; but Mentus had brought in Dire Wraiths, who are probably a little steamed Rom had only been captured, not killed. Rom faces his own face in the Terminator, who is willing to kill to keep at least some humanity, but he is then swayed by Starshine, who forgives his earlier coldness. Terminator turns on the Wraiths, using his neutralizer not just to banish, but to kill; seemingly sending them directly to hell. Rom also gladly accepts his old friend, even if it costs him his humanity, because goddamn he's noble. But, the collected Spaceknights then find the Prime Director and Mentus, both dead: appearing briefly as a big floating head, the Prime Director explains he had reabsorbed his evil side, but at the cost of his life. Still, he warns there was more danger ahead, as Galactus was coming...as we saw, some time back! This one would have to be backpedaled a bit to get Rom a happy ending at the end of the series, but at the time was just one in an ongoing series of tragedies for the character.

Also this issue, "Love Will Tear Us Apart"--wait, not that one! OK, I would've read this in '81, but I wouldn't hear Joy Division until several years later, probably on 120 Minutes or its tie-in CD. Set earlier than the lead story, Rom sends more Dire Wraiths into Limbo, while still trying to track down a field commander named Baran. He gets a tip from Brandy, who had researched recent developments in advanced sciences; but both her dad and her ostensible boyfriend Steve worry about her associating with the Spaceknight: it's more than obvious they've lost her and she loves Rom, even if nobody comes out and says it yet. Baran, for his part, had 'gone native': he had been on earth for at least five years, and had a human wife and adopted son, which his cohorts are appalled by. When his wife is captured by the Wraiths, Baran is forced to admit the truth to her; but Rom arrives in time, having looked Baran up in the phone book! The other Wraiths, having already turned on Baran, nearly kill Rom with new magnetic weapons, but Baran shoots and wounds one, giving Rom time to recover. Baran then surrenders: he had acted against his own to save his wife, but was done. Instead of banishing him, though, Rom considers him human now, and leaves him to try and hash things out with his wife, who isn't sure if they can go on. (If you know what eventually happens in the book, I'm not sure it works out for Baran either way!) Read more!

The local toy show was this weekend, and I'm pretty pleased with my haul this year. Also, while I went over budget, I didn't really: there was a sort of ideal target number, then a real number...And as usual, there were some vendors that brought comics. One had a new batch of cheap comics--a bunch of Donald Duck and Uncle Scrooge, which I seem to be finding all over lately: same thing happened recently with Legion of Super-Heroes, where some store puts a bunch out cheap, then everyone seems to be trying to unload them, like they were the newest not-hot book? And another guy had a pile of reasonably priced Savage Sword of Conan, that I really could've blown my budget on, and even now kinda wished I'd grabbed some more. Also, I should've put my glasses on and looked it up: I needed SS #218, the conclusion to the story from Conan's last issue, Conan the Barbarian #275. I did grab the last issue the guy had, though; #234: ooh, so close, that's the second-to-last issue! But we also grabbed the next one: from 1995, Conan the Savage #1, featuring "Hounds to the Slaughter" Written by Chuck Dixon, art by Enrique Alcatena; and "The Circles of Set" Written by Roy Thomas, art by Tim Conrad. Cover by Simon Bisley.

Before we get into the issue itself, I was kind of hoping the Wikipedia for Savage Sword of Conan would get a bit into the sales numbers. While the heat of the barbarian fad had understandably faded over like thirty years, SSoC was a rare beast that had a presence outside of the newsstand spinner rack or the direct market comic shops: as a black-and-white magazine, it was sold mostly away from those venues. I think it was Tegan that pointed out that it was always available in truck stops and convenience stores, racked with the tattoo and trucker mags. The only sales data I could pull in a brief search for 1995 from Comichron was 4700 units of SSoC #231 sold; but that would've just been numbers from comic shops and not necessarily indicative of the title's actual sales. Maybe if I'd bought all those later-run issues, I could've checked for a USPS Statement of Ownership for numbers; but what I'm getting at is I can't tell is Savage Sword's numbers were down or slipping or even bad. (Also, it was still only $2.25? A mainline comic at the time was $1.50 but a lot were $2.50-$2.95.) Was this a legit attempt to relaunch and inject some new life into Conan? Or did somebody at Marvel just have the bright idea that hey, you know what always boosts sales? A new number one! I strongly suspect it was the latter, especially since the relaunch here features Thomas and Dixon, who weren't exactly new blood. And I wonder if the change didn't somehow...break the spell? Not only did it snap a long run, but I worry that retailers weren't paying a ton of attention and maybe the change wasn't ordered or racked like it had been previously. Maybe they just didn't notice it on the order forms or on the racks under 'C' for Conan, I don't know; but Conan the Savage only ran 10 issues, with the last being May 1996. And that would be it for the barbarian, until the Dark Horse relaunch in 2004.

Anyways, on to the issue at hand: "Hounds to the Slaughter" is a fortress-siege number, which Conan in chains at the start of it for breaking a soldier's jaw, but proves his worth when he's still the only one to notice Vanir assassins sneaking in. A veteran of many sieges, from either end, Conan is full of helpful tips for the fort's new commander: clear the snowdrifts away from the walls before the enemy just walks in, all that chopping you hear means they're building a battering ram, and the last commander didn't die of a curse, he was poisoned by his servant. Still, the Vanir smash the gates and the Aquilonian legion, and Conan is forced to retreat after the commander is blinded after a hammer to the skull. Good, but only 24 pages; could've gone a bit longer and a bit harder.

The second feature, "The Circles of Set" has an interesting set-up, but maybe too much: in the desert, Conan finds an oasis, but ringed by a maze of walls and tunnels. Forced to enter in search of water, Conan finds a young woman, and a snake-man, albeit a type of snake-man he hadn't seen before. The woman bashes Conan over the head to defend the snake: it was her lover! She had been a dancer, and her guy was cursed by a priest of Set who wanted her for himself. They had almost made a life for themselves there, but the snake-man asks Conan to take her away, freeing her from any obligation to him. Which breaks the spell! The couple then ask, since they were back together, why didn't the spell come back; but Conan describes spells as like jars: once broken, they don't put themselves together again. 

I don't think this would've been the worst issue of SSoC I ever read, but as a new launch it didn't knock my socks off, either.

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A true story this issue? At least one, I guess; I can't confirm the rest.

I know I joked "every time Hitler appears somehow, drink!" but none this issue: instead, an actual true story! From 1975, Weird War Tales #40. Cover by Ernie Chan.

The opener, "Back from the Dead," follows a couple G.I.'s during the Battle of the Bulge, as they survive a couple close calls--or do they? Yeah, no. (Story by Jack Oleck, art by Fred Carrillo.) Then, we get another short that was reprinted in Showcase Presents: the Great Disaster, as the last man on earth finds an unbroken plate glass window, in an otherwise demolished city; and contemplates everything that glass probably saw, all that history. Then he smashes it. Well, that was only two pages, I don't know what I expected. (Story by Len Wein, art by Howard Chaykin.)

Then, a Revolutionary War tale, "The Warrior Breed" Written by Jack Oleck, art by Buddy Gernale. It's not entirely historically accurate: Robert Shurteff is nearly turned away from enlisting in the Revolutionary Army as being 'puny,' but was actually tall for the time, like 5-foot-7! Shurteff won the respect of his fellow soldiers, and was wounded twice; yet strangely refused medical treatment, eventually contracting a fever. That would lead to 'his' discharge: 'Robert Shurteff' was actually Deborah Sampson, who passed herself off as a man and served for 17 months! As usual, I'm not up on my history, this was actually the first time I heard of this; so at long last comics are educational!

Finally, the oddball "The Soldier from Space," wherein an alien scout finds earth loaded with the sustenance his people need, if the humans don't wipe each other out first. After he's shot down, the Germans find the scout injured and amnesiac, and try to get him to turn his weapons on the Allies. Another bump on the noggin restores his memory, and he turns on the Germans; all the better to gather the blood his people drank! (Written by George Kashdan, art by Ric Estrada.) Read more!

As this posts, I will have been back at work for a couple of days, after an absolutely splendiferous four-day weekend; so I should be completely hating life and the living as of...hmm, now. I deal with not working just fine, but some people have trouble without the structure of their jobs; even if their job is a horrible, chaotic mess of disasters, danger, and suffering. It's nice to feel needed, I guess. From 1968, a not-GCD pretty copy of Action Comics #368, "The Unemployed Superman!" Written by Otto Binder, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Jack Abel. Cover by Carmine Infantino.

After a month patrolling in space, and visiting his mock-up/memorial of Krypton, Superman returns to earth, which he guesses will probably have built up some problems for him. Instead he finds, a completely peaceful and safe planet? That hadn't had a single crime in a month? Or a natural disaster? Returning to work as Clark Kent, Perry White tells him people aren't even getting sick anymore, and the biggest news story for him to chase was a chess tournament. (We don't see Lois in this one, because she's either deep in investigating this nonsense; or sunk into alcoholism out of boredom.) Mr. Mxyzptlk and Phantom Zone criminal Jax-Ur show up briefly, but neither cause any trouble, and both leave quietly. Starting to get itchy with boredom, Supes has three of his robots shoot confiscated super-weapons at him: it doesn't hurt him, of course, but the robots then activate their self-destructs, saying it was evil to use weapons against anyone!

Superman is puzzled, but is then joined by a "Sentinel," not a big purple robot, but a jewel surrounded by energy rings. The Sentinel explains that not only had they changed the planet and destroyed evil, but that Superman wasn't needed anymore, so he should just go off and live under a red sun somewhere. Off you go! Sadly, Superman seems to agree, packing up some stuff, including a space suit and parachute: without even saying goodbye to anyone, Superman drops down to a planet under a red sun, without his powers...to be continued? Ooh, that's going to be tough to find in the dollar bins, even a ratty copy; but the GCD entry for #369 spoils it if you can't wait. (I suspect, it's something akin to Kirk's speech at the end of the Star Trek episode "This Side of Paradise," "Maybe we weren't meant for paradise. Maybe we were meant to fight our way through, struggle, claw our way up, scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute. We must march to the sound of drums.")

Also this issue: "Supergirl's Stand to Save Stanhope!" (Written by Cary Bates, art by Kurt Schaffenberger.) This was the conclusion of a three-parter, with some dickheads from the future having taken the entire college hostage, in search of a student that would later invent a formula worth millions to them. With the college sealed off by a force-field that would explode if a Super hit it, Supergirl exposes herself to Gold Kryptonite, taking away her powers permanently, so she could get inside; then she and the student have to contend with a hypnotized student body and assorted future robots and gadgets. It's fun to see Supergirl have to work without powers (although she had gadgets of her own!) and of course she really hadn't been exposed to Gold-K in the end. Read more!

"Stretch."

 

We probably could've had the standard Marvel misunderstanding fight with Spider-Man 2099 vs. Nightcrawler there, but Kurt's usually pretty good as de-escalating things. Which I always thought was why he was killed off for a while: the X-books needed conflict, external, internal, whatever; and Kurt would've been a damper on that. I am of course still mad myself, that when Kurt finally does get mad, when he realizes Cyclops had been using X-Force for secret murder missions, he's immediately killed before anything comes of that. 

Also, who did Spidey 2099 lose? Well, coming up we have three figures I don't think I've used before here, before we even get to that!

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