I think I had skipped it before, since this was from a somewhat gloomy period of the run, even by the title's usual standards. No Uatu either: I get trying to do something new with the title, but it doesn't feel right. From 1996, What If? #89, "The Fantastic Farce" Written by Ben Raab, pencils by Mike Miller, inks by Scott Koblish.

The rocket launch of Reed Richards has gone worse than usual in this reality, as the Four's powers appear to be more pronounced from the start; and they're pulled from the rocket crash by men in radiation suits who aren't speaking English. Reed is separated from his friends, who are believed dead, and put on trial for treason. Worse, he couldn't control his elastic body, and had to use a Stark prototype exoskeleton to hold himself together. Prosecutor Matt Murdock puts the screws to Reed at his trial, and he's found guilty. The stress makes Reed think he's losing his mind, as he starts hearing Susan's voice, but she is really there: invisible and intangible, barely holding herself together. She discorporates after freeing Reed, so he can help her brother Johnny. Reed has a little help, though, from Nick Fury, who explains Johnny was being used as a thermal battery, by Latverians. Reed of course remembers a Latverian that had been experimenting with that: Victor Von Doom.

Fury sets Reed up with a jet ride to Latveria, where he finds his contact man, Dum Dum Dugan, already dead; and gets captured. Doom had been trying to use Johnny, to power his devices to free his mother from Hell; but Johnny was burning out. Reed tries to fight Doom in his cell, but isn't a match for Doom's armor: Doom appears to be wearing a toga made out of Dr. Strange's Cloak of Levitation. Unable to stretch out of his cell, a voice calls to Reed from the next cell: his old friend Ben, now a rocky, misshapen Thing. Reed baits him as a "coward" to get him to smash the wall, but is dismayed to see what had happened to Ben; while Ben is just happy Reed was still alive. Together, they fight their way to Johnny: Reed offers to help Doom if he'll let Johnny and Ben go, but Johnny knows the cosmic rays in him are burning him up, and he blows up with Doom and most of his castle.

Reed and Ben are returned to the states, where they're put on "community service," cleaning up a gamma bomb test site; and Reed hopes to keep researching a cure for Ben. 

The cover makes it look like Reed was going to be the bad guy here; that might be another reason I hadn't read this until now.

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I was expecting WAY more jokes about Superman's mullet, but that's low-hanging fruit.

We saw them take on Marvel last year, but today they try the proverbial other side of the street! From 1996, Sergio Aragonés Destroys DC #1, written by Mark Evanier, pencils by Sergio Aragonés, inks by John Dell, Denis Rodier, Scott Hanna, John Byrne, Ron Boyd, Jerry Ordway, Joe Rubinstein, and Sergio Aragonés.

Not unlike his foray at Marvel, here Sergio decides it's time to become "big-time super-hero drawing person!" but is shut down by their receptionist, who may deserve a raise! Undaunted, he starts his super-hero epic, forcing his long-suffering cohort Mark into providing dialog. Time for another Batman origin retelling! Needs more pearls, although there's a very 90's joke there. Wonder Woman's "glass plane," because Sergio wanted to draw it! Legion try-outs! And more!

I'm 60% sure Ambush Bug used the "villain" here too, but there's a clever way of getting rid of them, that makes use of DC's usual "two pages of ads...they always put them where they interrupt the most suspenseful part of the story!"

I may have to check my shelves, since I think I have a collection with Sergio Aragonés Stomps Star Wars. And Sergio Aragonés' Blair Which? was great! Read more!

It's not a guarantee that snack cakes would turn the day around, but I'll chance it.

Kind of a blah day today, but we've got a second for a book that restores a grievous error, or at least mentions it! From 2024, Spider-Boy #10, "Spider-Boy Versus...the Spider-Verse!" Written by Dan Slott, art by Nathan Stockman.

I haven't got around to picking up his action figure yet, but the OAFE review recaps his deal pretty clearly: when some other heroes were brought back by the Web of Life and Destiny, Spider-Boy also returned!...even if he really hadn't been around before; you just don't remember. This issue, Bailey Briggs had tried to get Arana and Madame Web to fix the spell that brought him back, since most didn't remember him, and his mom was missing. As usual, the spell goes awry, casting Spider-Boy into different Spider-Verses, starting here with Earth-67 (60's animated) Spidey, then Earth-51914, the Hostess--er, Mostess snack cake one!

Arana asks, how could that be, wasn't the snack cake Spidey killed by Morlun? Silk explains, during a previous Spider-Verse thingee, she "broke Morlun open, like a big ol' Spider-totem pinata," restoring if not all, most of the ones that had died. Yay!

Bailey continues getting dragged through the Spider-Verse, with a brief visit with Mayday/Spider-Girl, then a stop with all the Spideys and the Beyonder from the series finale of the 90's Fox cartoon. Bailey gets a little emotional, since he was just a little kid, and thought everyone was going to forget him, as he fades away...the end?

Not quite! Madame Web goes to plain old 616-Spidey for help, and asks him to make a sacrifice: during a Spider-Verse thing, Peter had been severed from the Web of Life, and got to spend a life with Uncle Ben, without being Spider-Man. He sacrifices those memories, to restore Bailey, with a joke about how he was pretty sure that kid still owed him five bucks. Wait, he was Spider-Boy three years ago? What was he, four? Bailey excitedly says he has to call his mom, while Madame Web omniously whispers there may be a cost to be paid... Read more!

The continuity hadn't gone out the window yet, and that might be the one costume that looks better on a guy?

From 1984, All-Star Squadron Annual #3, written and edited by Roy Thomas, researched by Dann Thomas, and a whole mess of artists! Jerry Ordway, Rick Hoberg, Rich Buckler, Wayne Boring, Richard Howell, Carmine Infantino, Don Newton, Marty Nodell, George Pérez, Keith Giffen, and more!

Huh, I had thought the Golden Age Tarantula had been a later addition; but nope, he first appeared in 1941! He's probably best known to modern readers as getting killed off in Nightwing, and his successor would...um...do stuff to Dick; but back in the day he became a costumed mystery-man as part of his research into his heroes for a later book. I think his costume was maybe altered or updated by Jerry Ordway though, and it's pretty good; but this issue he gets tripped up on a metal lockbox while pursuing Nazi saboteurs. (Aside: I used to think Nazi saboteurs in WWII-set comics was just the hokiest thing in the world; that there were more in comics than there ever could've been in real life; but lately...) Tarantula is saved by Wonder Woman, and together they investigate the case, which contains an illegible list of names, some newspaper clippings, and references to the Justice Society! Wonder Woman doesn't recognize the photos there, so they take it to her Amazon "magic sphere" back at their Perisphere headquarters. The sphere begins by showing them a JSA meeting, from a year prior, as the team was trying to raise a cool million for war orphans, and razzing Johnny Thunder a bit for dropping the ball: he'd managed to stop some thugs posing as Atom and Sandman, but admitted his Thunderbolt wasn't good with financial stuff. Still, if only their honorary members Superman, Batman and Flash chipped in...and the Thunderbolt delivers them, with $100,000 each!

Green Lantern and Dr. Fate go to deliver the cash to President Roosevelt himself; with Fate saying he had sensed "strange emanations from our nation's capital (sic)." (That should be capitol!) They find shadow-men threatening the president, and shut them down: they had been sent by old JSA foe Ian Karkull, who had previously been reduced to a literal shadow of himself. The shadow-men burst into flames, but GL is able to pull a charred list from the flames: nine other locations, each with a JSA foe. Fate sets a "24-hour protective spell" about the "Executive Mansion," and he and GL race back to JSA headquarters in Gotham. Most of the team then heads out to face their old foes, with Johnny Thunder and GL in reserve. Meanwhile, Ian Karkull likewise puts his forces into the field, promising each one that completes their mission a $100,000. The Tarantula on his team wasn't the same one; and it's weird to see Catwoman with the realistic cat mask; otherwise Wotan was the only one I recognized.

Superman of course has to save Lois Lane, after her plane gets shot down by the Lightning Master, who is about to destroy a hospital for his payday. Supes thinks he should be able to walk through his electrical weapons, but the "new and improved" version gives him pause; until he gets an assist from Johnny Thunder and his Thunderbolt! Elsewhere, the Hawks stop Alexander the Great, the Spectre stifles Zor, and the Atom and Sandman clobber Tarantula; all before they could attempt to carry out their assassinations. Flash, and his future wife Joan, have an only-slightly harder time with Sieur Satan; but Joan also demands she get to come with him. Batman and Robin chase Catwoman in Hollywood, but she takes out another hitman instead, unwilling to become a killer. Green Lantern faces Wotan, but while the villain is thrown back into another dimension, his last stray shot clips a tree, knocking it over onto a child, killing them. GL isn't sure that kid was Karkull's target, but is furious to find out.

Hourman faces Dr. Doog in Georgia, where he plans to electrocute a good chunk of the countryside to get his target. Despite struggling with Miraclo side-effects, Hourman had been forced to take two pills back-to-back, but he gets an assist from Doog's old foe, Starman! He had seen Hourman go in, and wanted to apply to the JSA. Finally, Dr. Fate saves a small boat from a freak storm, then confronts Karkull, who has set a trap for him, in a house made out of flesh...! Fate summons the JSA for help, getting the entire team, plus Robin, Lois Lane, Joan Williams, Hawkgirl, and Starman. The heroes with ray powers zap Karkull, while the Spectre senses other souls within him. Karkull grows to giant-size, but the Spectre matches him, and Karkull bursts, showering the assembled heroes in a weird light. (A color plate seems off here; I wonder if all copies had this?)

Fate and the Spectre believe that Karkull had "stolen time" somehow, and his demise would prolong the lives of those present, or maybe just make them "more vital" while they lived. That feels like a good start for the rookie Starman, but Hourman and Green Lantern both have to take leaves from the team, and Dr. Fate follows suit: he had to determine if he was in charge, or Nabu. The JSA opts to keep this case a secret, which is why it was news to Tarantula and Wonder Woman--she wouldn't join until months later. Tarantula agrees to honor the Society's wishes and keep this under his hat, although he doubts Karkull was on to anything with his targets...eight of whom would later become President of the United States! Figuring out where each would have been on or about June 28, 1942 would've taken a bit of research.

Along with a bit of fun for a jam issue, Roy Thomas had intended this to patch a few continuity issues: Green Lantern's very brief tenure as chairman of the JSA, Hourman's leave of absence, Dr. Fate's changing helmets and powers; as well as the heroes' long-lives and vitality past what would usually be expected for their ages.

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"Commune."

So when the Age of Apocalypse Nightcrawler joined X-Force and came over to the 616, he had some goals of his own, namely revenge on AoA Iceman for betraying the X-Men, and AoA Blob, for killing and eating his wife Linda. Who I don't think we ever see! I don't think she even appears in flashback, only dialog. It's like she came pre-fridged. It also seems like a pretty effective way to encourage murder, like if a telepath put the idea of avenging a spouse that never was in his head...that would involve someone having the motive to have AoA Blob killed, I suppose. Well, to prove myself wrong, the Marvel wiki has one picture of poor dead Linda, and in X-Termination AoA Kurt was stalking the 616-Linda, just to make things creepy, maybe so he could be written out. (She also might've been based on Bruce Lee's wife? OK.) But anyway, we don't really see any of their relationship. 

Regular Kurt does go hardcore in Uncanny X-Men #700, where he teleports Apocalypse's eyes out of his head. That whole issue is more Kurt-heavy than about all of the Krakoa era, just as it wraps up! Apocalypse is also kind of done at the end there, like he's seen that mutants maybe don't need him anymore--if they ever did, which is debatable. I don't always, but I'm definitely putting my words in Kurt's mouth, calling him a "culty weirdo." 

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I did pick up all four issues of Claremont's Superman/Wonder Woman: Whom Gods Destroy Elseworlds, but I haven't had time to flip through them yet, and they probably won't fit in the scanner anyway. This issue does, though! From 1982, Uncanny X-Men #159, "Night Screams!" Written by Chris Claremont, guest-pencils by Bill Sienkiewicz, inks by Bob Wiacek, letters by Tor Orzechowski, colors by Glynis Wein.

This was a lead-in to X-Men Annual #6, one of my first X-reads and still a classic. The X-Men stop off at Misty Knight's apartment, but instead meet her roommate, model Harmony Young. The X-Men had arrived in costume, but Kitty had to change for dinner with her parents: Ororo didn't have clothes for it, but Harmony gets her dressed up. Still, later when Kitty calls the apartment, Ororo had left hours ago, but hadn't arrived back, as we see her laid out in an alley.

Logan and Piotr rush to the hospital, where Ororo had been brought in. Having lost a ton of blood, the doctor wanted to do a full transfusion, but couldn't because of unusual elements in her blood. The X-Men were still largely secret back then, and Logan worries the doctor was very close to putting two-and-two together; but then Ororo seems completely fine, save not remembering who (or what) attacked her, and she has a momentary twinge of fear at the night, that passes after she thinks she saw eyes in it. Back at Misty's, the worried guys tuck her into bed (and Bill appears to misdraw Kurt's hand turning out a light, on an otherwise amazing page!) but Ororo's rest is troubled, until she opens up the windows, and a fog sweeps in...

When Kitty arrives back two days later, she finds the guys moping, as they were at a loss how to help Ororo, who seemed to be losing the will to live. Kitty rushes up to see her, and opens the drapes; Ororo protests that "the sunlight...hurts." She also has a fancy scarf, embroidered with a 'D,' around her neck; "a...gift, from an admirer. But how can that be? He's a figment of my imagination." Ororo flinches, when the light reflects off Kitty's Star of David, and while Kitty starts putting it together, Ororo shoves her away. It's Dracula, haven't Kurt, Logan, or Piotr read a book or seen a movie? Well, this issue does predate Fright Night, so I guess they've got some excuse: probably less, since I'm pretty sure it's been retconned since that Logan had run into vampires before, and possibly even Kurt as well. (Kurt seemed at least aware they existed in the Marvel U. and Logan himself later mentions he's "seen the movies!")

Dracula shows up, to take Ororo away, but Kitty makes a valiant if ill-advised attempt to stop him alone, with a kicky little hat and a cross. Which fails miserably, since she wasn't Catholic or Christian or whatever; but her Star of David saves her from Drac's chokehold. Still, she can't stop Dracula and Ororo from flying away, as the guys arrive. Logan is skeptical, but Kurt trusts Kitty; and either way they can't just let Ororo take off. Logan tracks her to Central Park, where Dracula confronts them, with some wild dogs to even up the numbers. Kurt gets clobbered, Logan whiffs a fastball special when Dracula turns into mist, and even Piotr is thrown back. Logan tries to make a cross with his claws, but he doesn't believe. However, Kurt does, and staggers Dracula for a moment, before he summons lightning, which Kurt can barely teleport ahead of...

Kitty had slipped away, to try and find Ororo, and finds a coffin deep inside a weather station. She fouls it with holy water--I'm mildly curious where she got that, but you can get anything in NYC. Kitty then gets smacked by Ororo, who isn't really a vampire yet, but her mind had been warped. Kitty tries to reach her, saying Ororo had been "a goddess consecrated to life," and drops her stake, refusing to fight her. Meanwhile, Kurt tries to turn Dracula's lightning against him, teleporting over the vampire, but that just seems to knock out all the X-Men, leaving only Dracula and Ororo standing. Dracula orders her to kill them, but she turns on him, hitting him with another lightning bolt! Dracula takes a bat-man (or Man-Bat!) form and takes off, taunting Ororo that she was still is, but she knocks him through a window with an arctic wind. Dracula takes a hostage, but Ororo refuses to become a vampire, or to kill: "I was born free, vampire, and free I will remain." Dracula admits, she had earned her respect, and takes off...for now.

As the sun rises, Ororo returns to the X-Men, and hugs Kitty for her braveness. But the X-Men don't have long to rest, as they get a phone call from Moira MacTaggert: Professor Xavier's condition had taken a turn for the worse... 

I don't think Claremont was ever shy about wearing his influences on his sleeve; and this feels like a speedrun through Bram Stoker's novel. But the character work, and the art, make it a great one. If you were a fan of the alt-universe series Mutant X, this issue was a load-bearing plot point, as Ororo didn't resist there and gobbled Kitty up to become the vampire Bloodstorm. I also think I read Claremont's Dracula, long, long before I'd ever get to read Tomb of Dracula: those I probably didn't see until the 1993 reprints.

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Not the best toy show haul ever, but hardly the worst.

I did get one score I won't mention here, but I did get a couple decent picks at the most recent toy show. Like this giant Wookie!

Aw, that picture's a little fuzzy...sorry. Pretty sure that's a Star Wars Collector Series 12-inch Chewbacca in Chains, and it's more of a stuffed toy than an action figure. I don't think he really has joints! Back in the 90's, there were a ton of Star Wars and Star Trek 12-inch figures, that were super mass-market: they weren't exactly Hot Toys quality, but they weren't the hard plastic bludgeons with five points of articulation that you find on the shelves today.

This one was down to $20, so kind of had to: a Toy Biz Marvel Legends Destroyer! Back from series 15 in 2006, the Build-a-Figure MODOK wave. The OAFE review will break it down for you, and we've had a Marvel Select and a Marvel Legends of it since, but I had never seen one that cheap, so...I got a cheap and still carded Hallow's Eve from the same vendor, but he had a ton of old Toy Biz pre-Legends stuff up too. I was hoping to find a Madame Web, but no dice.

Still, it's always a bit of fun to wander around and see stuff. And of course, I did get a stack of comics! We'll maybe look at one tomorrow. 

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