"Flameproof."

I don't think I've read a ton of the more-recent stories where Dragon Man has been part of the Future Foundation, and far more intelligent than his earlier appearances. Which didn't stop me from ordering his figure! Especially since I, like most people, missed his earlier Fantastic Four figure: I think that was from the same wave as the Impossible Man that we've seen here a few times, but DM was gone by the time I got there. Read more!

I can't even tell if he's trying to get cancelled at this point.

I know I don't have all this series, so it's another I'll always grab when I find a random cheap issue: from 2005, Plastic Man #2, "Rubber the Wrong Way" Story and art by Kyle Baker.

When the wallet of Eel O'Brian is found at a murder, the FBI is more determined than ever to find that rat...even if the lead investigator, Plastic Man, had been working that one for years and made zero progress. Namely, because Plas had been Eel O'Brian, before the accident that gave him his powers. The Chief gives him a new partner, Agent Morgan, who would be arrving from Washington today. Frantic, Plas sends Woozy Winks to the airport to delay Morgan, while puppeteering his plastic into a fake Morgan to placate the Chief. Unfortunately, Plas and fake Morgan are met by the real Morgan at the door, and she beats the stuffing out of the fake. OK, as far as first impressions go, that's pretty bad, but Plas then tries to bury the hatchet...by turning into a bicycle and offering her a ride. I...I think human resources may need to be involved at this point.

While Woozy completely botched delaying Morgan--which I'm not positive how he would've found her, even if he'd been looking for the right guy getting off the right plane--his feelings are still hurt when Plas goes off with his new parter, and he decides it's time to up his game from sidekick. Morgan studies a model of the crime scene, while Plas makes shapes behind her, until a brick with a note comes through the window. At a spooky mansion, Plas and Morgan are trapped in a room with the walls closing in, until Plas slips out to clog up the gears. Together, they discover--Red Herring? Who always gets involved in investigations that have nothing to do with him! Then, back at the office, Morgan gets even with Plas, with a little prank with acetone, melting Plas's butt...and exposing his wallet, with Eel O'Brian's ID! Afraid he wouldn't be able to clear his name from prison, Plas tries to escape through the window--which had been replaced with bulletproof glass after that earlier brick incident. To be continued... Read more!

This comic made me blurt out "What the hell?!" more than once, so by that metric; complete success.

I'm looking forward to this re-read, to see what else we glean from it: from 1980, Weird War Tales #85, "The War on the Edge of Reality!" Written by J.M. DeMatteis, art by Terry Henson.

The cover pitches this as "a bonus-length 22-page thriller!" In other words, a full-length story, instead of two or three shorts: WWT didn't seem to do that often, although we've seen an earlier one, #37. WWT also sometimes exceled at making a bad situation worse: oh, don't like war, huh? I'll give you something to cry about...This issue, a lost PT boat gets attacked by a pterodactyl--an alarmingly common occurrence in the title, I'm sure, but this one had a German uniform and helmet, and cusses them out in Deutsch when shot down. Next, the boat is swarmed by Japanese apes (not those apes...well, maybe) and mythological creatures gone Nazi. What could possibly save those brave American soldiers now?

Oh, come on. The PT boat crew is saved by the sudden arrival of the gold-plated battleship U.S.S. Capitalism. Which appears to be manned by an unsavory and unfriendly looking lot, but it, and the attackers, all disappear. Since in WWII every American grouping of soldiers had at least one guy that read the pulps, whose job it was to process weird crap like this for their C.O. (and the reader!) but he doesn't have long to articulate his multiverse theories, as another ship arrives to board them: another golden 'American' ship, the Master Race. Captured and beaten, the crew also gets their names made fun of as "unAmerican" by their captors, led by Captain Du Pont, who wants to figure out why an American boat, a type he'd never seen before, would have foreigners on it. Reading their documents, Du Pont scoffs at the idea of Pearl Harbor: everyone knows, America started the war! To keep all the inferiors of the world from killing themselves, and maybe getting a little something-something for their trouble--that was, after all the American way! (In Du Pont's telling, the soldiers appear to be pillaging women; in case they weren't scummy enough.)

The PT captain had been going through a crisis before this, and after bottoming out in despair that the rabid Du Pont was seemingly a better commander than he was, has to dig his way out of it. But, Du Pont puts the PT crew in gladiatorial matches against captured Japanese and German troops, who were doubtless a bit keen on revenge, and fight hard. The PT captain rallies them all, against their captors, and kills Du Pont with a spear. Then attacked from within and without, the laser blasters on the Master Race seem to have won the day, but the Japanese had developed the A-bomb before the Americans, and nuke the ship. The PT captain and crew awaken back on their boat, even the guys that had already fallen: the pulp reader theorizes, if they weren't from there, maybe they couldn't die there? The radio man also relays a message that seems like good news, at first: the war was over, after the A-bomb was dropped on Japan, but Roosevelt was making the announcement, and in their reality he had died months prior? Seeing the crew of a nearby ship, they realize, they were no closer to home at all...

Golden warships with horrible, and racist, names? An America that strikes first and seems more concerned with racism and profit? Yeesh, that kinda hit hard the other day, but more so after the weekend. On a more cheerful note, the letters page includes an ad for Warlord #31, an issue I love! Read more!

When you complain that you hate babysitting the A.I. doing your job:

I'm more than a little glad this came out when it did, and not now: Artificial Intelligence used to be a glorious dream for a brighter future, not regurgitating slop and hallucinated 'facts.' Aaron's still cool, but is he as cool as he thinks...? From 2020, 2020 Machine Man #1, featuring "Computer Love, part 1" Written by Christos Gage, art by Andy MacDonald; and "If They Be Heroes--!" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Mike Hawthorne, inks by Andriano Di Benedetto.

This was part of a big Iron Man 2020 crossover: six issues of that, some Force Works, Rescue, Ironheart, and even something called "iWolverine. (That last one features Albert and Elsie-Dee, who I remember wandering around seemingly a gazillion issues of Wolverine in the 90's! Like they were looking for him, but not super-hard?) It feels like a lotta books for a kinda sidebar event, but sure, why not. The larger plot involves Arno Stark and Sunset Bain both elevating, and enslaving, AI; but our old pal Machine Man, a.k.a. X-51, a.k.a. Aaron Stack, goes somewhat rogue for personal reasons, to recover his lost love, Jocasta. Who may be like, um, over him. Chasing after her, Aaron has to fight his way through robots he thought were long deactivated: his brethren, the X-series robots like himself! Arno has a holographic message for Aaron: these were actually the rebuilt X-series, now with a pesky design flaw removed: free will. Arno points out, a proper robot wouldn't have gone off-mission for love like Aaron.

Swamped by the other fifty X-robots, Aaron finds an additional component within them, like a hardware limiter; but removing it makes them a bit touchy and unpredictable. (In the original Kirby story, all of them except Aaron had gone insane!) Fighting his way to Jocasta, she finally greets him, not as a liberator but as a stalker: she felt better about herself as she was then, "cured" of her previous issues like wanting to be human. On the other hand, wasn't Aaron a loose-cannon drunk with authority issues and a disturbing tendency towards calling humans "fleshy ones"? Hadn't he threatened the humans with war crimes, and was he the boss of her? Who really needed the help here? Aaron still doesn't think she's making decisions of her own free will, but Jocasta had found peace and a new love for herself: X-52, the Machine Man of 2020! Who has the red armor of the old DeFalco/Trimpe/Windsor-Smith mini-series.

The back-up feature was by DeFalco, and features the Midnight Wreckers from the old mini-series. It's alright, but the main story over the two issues of this series has some interesting things to say: Jocasta and X-52 almost have a compelling argument, comparing themselves to a cat forced to take a pill for its own good. Does Aaron need guidance, or is free will the way to go, mistakes or not? It's a Marvel comic, so you can probably guess which way it leans...and so do I, even though some people maybe should be forced to take pills...(One of the biggest influencers pushing how they were "free" and not going to be forced to take the proverbial blue pill, was literally throwing a ####fit over their mom making them take their anti-diarrhea medicine. Seriously.) Read more!

The people of Orion 4 are probably wishing they had a hero right about now.

A billionaire that nearly destroys the world accidentally and not on purpose? And that only has one kid and seems to love him? And a loving wife? When the hell was this written--oh. From 2001, Legends of the DC Universe #39, "Sole Survivor of Earth" Written by Danny Fingeroth, pencils by Randy Green, inks by Wayne Faucher. Cover by Kevin Nowlan!

In scenic Washington state--I call foul already, that can't be Washington, it's not raining!--billionaire Anton Balboa tells his wife, no one believes him or his findings: that earth would soon explode! But, maybe he can save the world, by sending his transforming multibots, into Mount St. Helens, to stabilize the earth's core. Or, maybe he should have checked his figures, since he's actually making things worse, and might even cause the disaster he was trying to prevent! While Superman tries to stop the robots, not knowing they were trying to help; Anton can't recall them, so plan B: launch his son, to the planet Orion 4! Sure the suspended animation function hasn't been tested, and his wife points out they aren't really sure that planet is even there; ah, I'm sure he'll be fine. (I wonder if Anton isn't intended as a riff on classic DC Comics Presents baddie I.Q., who was likewise smart enough to be real stupid.)

I think this was set at Superman's then-current Fortress of Solitude, yet this still feels like they're trying to play it as early in his career and maybe not as invulnerable as usual; but Supes stops the robots, then has to use one to get out from underground and into space to save the baby. Afterwards, the Feds are a little cheesed with Anton and his wife, although they don't seem to know exactly what to charge him with; while Superman feels a strong kinship with the baby, who could have been sole survivor of earth.

This is why you tax billionaires, people! 25 years later and no one's learned a goddamn thing...

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"Breather."

It occurs to me that neither Matt nor Peter would get surprised like that, but Elektra and Kurt totally could!

This one is mostly just me playing with some new set-pieces: the mailbox, and in the background, a pay phone! Both were pretty cheap from Temu, and for a change, scaled about right! (I also sprung for a mini arcade machine, that came not 1/12 but closer to 3 3/4 inch scale: it would probably go well with classic G.I. Joes or Star Wars figures.) They were both pretty solid, and balanced well even with Kurt climbing all over it. 

Elektra is referring to one I think we've mentioned but--hey, we did scan it! From Mark Millar/Terry and Rachel Dodson's Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #1, where during a brutal fight with the Green Goblin, Spidey takes an onlooker's advice, and clobbers him with a mailbox. The onlooker is then appalled: "I didn't think you were gonna, like, brain-damage him." It's a solid hit that looked like it meant business: you see like the Hulk or the Thing rip up lampposts and swat somebody with 'em, but those seem like they would launch them, like a baseball hit by a bat. This mailbox, though, seems like a hammer in comparison. I forget if Elektra's ever actually met Norman: if you knew him, you no doubt would probably want to see him hurt real bad; but I think she also just appreciates solid work. Sadly, in comparison to Legends, the mailbox here weighs a ton; I don't think I could even pose Dragon Man swinging it...or could I? Hmm.

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A Legionnaire is going to what, Nura? I didn't catch that last part.

I wasn't sure if I still had this--OK, I probably do--and I also probably could've bought the better formatting out of the same dollar bin, but this was where I started. Or close to it! From 1985, Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes #326, reprinting 1984's Legion of Super-Heroes #1, "Here a Villain, There a Villain..." Plot and story by Paul Levitz, plot and pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Larry Mahlstedt.

This was the point where Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes (formerly Legion of Super-Heroes, formerly Superboy & the Legion of Superheroes, formerly Superboy...) became a reprint title, for the direct-market Baxter paper Legion of Super-Heroes. I had read some old issues at a relative's years prior, and I think I had maybe been reading the Best of DC Legion reprint digests for a bit, so why not hop on here? Unfortunately, for this issue at least, I'm don't think the print quality was as good as the Baxter series: I'm pretty sure my old copy has the same error as the start of the post, where Dream Girl predicts that a Legionnaire was going to die. (You could probably guess from the context!)

On a mysterious world, in a thunderstorm, Lightning Lord makes a solemn pledge over a Mayan-looking stone tablet, with the incongruous symbols for the Legionnaires on it, to kill a Legionnaire. Namely, his brother, Lightning Lad; but he wasn't the only one taking a vow there, as the Legion of Super-Villains had made a big membership push: for a long time, the LSV had been Lightning Lord, Cosmic King, and Saturn Queen; with Saturn Queen reforming in one of the "Adult Legion" stories in Superman. This issue alone, the LSV recruits Micro Lad, teleporting him away after catching a long-deserved beating by Shrinking Violet: they had history! The retired Light Lass (Lightning Lad's twin sister) is captured by Radiation Roy (he catches flak for his name later in the story!) while on the prison world Takron-Galtos, a team of Legionnaires is called in to stop a massive prison break, led by Daxamite kid-slash-Darkseid worshipper Ol-Vir. Mon-El seems ready to beat the stuffing out of the brat, but Ol-Vir and several other criminals, are teleported away...(I don't recall if he's seen directly in the Great Darkness Saga, but Ol-Vir either never broke Darkseid's hold on him, or was a psychopath before then.) 

This issue reads just fine coming in relatively cold, but is chock full of continuity for those who had been reading for a while: I wouldn't realize until much later, but several of the LSV's new members were former Legion applicants, from Superboy #212 in 1975! (I feel like a lot of the LSV members were former tryouts! Feelings could have been hurt, and the LSV may be more accepting.) But, if this issue had clues as to where the LSV was, or what Legionnaire was doomed; I hadn't been reading long enough to get those yet. (I don't think I read any stories with said doomed Legionnaire, until his last!)

Bonus: from Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes #325, here's the bespoke subscription ad for the Baxter book, with art by Dan Jurgens and Karl Kesel. I'm used to Marvel's generic, linewide sub ads, rather than the specific ones DC used to do, usually with the heroes directly addressing the reader: "Buy my book! Everyone else can shift for themselves..."

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