I too have wrecked several dances, thinking of my comic books.

I'm still chewing this notion over in my head, but I think traditionally, in girls' adventure stories--think Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, or Alice in Wonderland--in the fantastic journey to a far-off land, the heroine is triumphant, but wants nothing more than to get back home. Whereas guy adventure stories--John Carter, Travis Morgan to cherry-pick two that fit my theory!--the hero has maybe not yet met anybody there that didn't try to stab him at least once, but they're into it and are looking into a place there. Admittedly, if you live in America today you can probably see the allure of getting out and never coming back: if I could escape, what could possibly persuade me to return? I'm probably like Donald on this one: modern conveniences, friends, family, who cares? But they're selling off my comic collection? Oh, hell no. From 1987, Walt Disney's Donald Duck Adventures #1, "Donald Duck and Isabella" Written by Evert Geradts, US script by Byron Erickson, art by Ben Verhagen.

Donald and the nephews are running a ferry service, with the emphasis on service to the passengers, like a really fancy Lyft or whatever. A thief lifts a cash register and tries to get passage, but is dismayed at Donald's navigation of the deadly "whirling dervish" whirlpool of Duckburg Channel, and when they pause to play some music for Isabella, a friendly music-loving whale. The crook wants to capture Isabella for a show; Donald refuses and get clonked on the head: he and the boys are left in a life raft, to get sucked into the whirlpool, crashing to the bottom of the sea...where, unexpectedly, they're rescued?

With brief periods of air when the whirlpool hit, there was a small society down there, made up of survivors from assorted shipwrecks over the years. They had indoor gardens, a hospital, a desalination plant, and to the boys' dismay, a school. Donald is becoming sold, though: fresh air, no taxes...the boys point out, what about Daisy? And his house, his car, his comic books? Gladstone and Uncle Scrooge were probably moving in on both sides there; even though Donald had been gone about twenty minutes. The undersea party is interrupted by Isabella, who doesn't like it when the music stops; then for helping them with their whale problem, the undersea folks help Donald seal his boat up airtight, for a trip back to the surface.

Getting back to Duckburg, the Ducks catch up to the crook, who tries to shift the blame by framing them for stealing his flea circus. Isabella then comes up, and a dancing whale doesn't help lend credence to the crook's story, and he's brought in. Donald and the boys decide to keep the undersea people a secret, since they think no one would believe them.

Again, Donald wasn't even gone much longer than maybe his regular shift; but I'm still positive Gladstone was moving in on Daisy all the same. Scrooge probably didn't sell Donald's comics, if only because I could see him not knowing what comics could be worth. Then getting way to into investing in them, then getting rug-pulled, then maybe actually reading one and deciding that was the way to go. Read more!

Hey, they went to series! I'm sure that'll turn out for them.

I don't think I noticed this said "One of Six" on the cover until I got to the "to be continued" at the end: from 2017, the Ruff and Reddy Show #1, "Ruff and Reddy: A Cautionary Tale in Six Parts, part one" Written by Howard Chaykin, art by Mac Rey. Cover by Howard Chaykin.

We were re-introduced to the titular duo in the back-up story in Green Lantern/Space Ghost Special #1, but this issue follows them from their 50's heyday, to their inevitable breakup: despite being the bottom rung of the entertainment ladder, as living cartoon "celimates," they had been briefly beloved and successful, even though they largely couldn't stand each other. Backtalking each other durning a Thanksgiving parade, they are undone when deaf kids are able to read their rather foulmouthed lips. (This being Chaykin, there's a rather risque joke about Superman's trunks!)

Ruff, the cat, would go on to moderate success in a Law & Order style show; while the dog Reddy would stumble into alcoholism and obscurity. Neither had worked in some time, but a young talent agent is tasked with bringing them back together...Yes, I'm sure that will go swimmingly, until it doesn't.

DC had a smattering of Hanna-Barbera books going for a minute--some, like this or Dastardly & Muttley were fairly obscure but had talent on 'em, like Garth Ennis! The Flintstones was pretty great, and Exit Stage Left: the Snagglepuss Chronicles was supposed to be as well. This particular one might just be Chaykin hitting his usual interests (see also: Satellite Sam) but he can do that pretty darn well. Read more!

I dropped it mid-stream, and I still like Firearm better, but Starman did have more issues. And this random one's cover grabbed me, at least! From 1999, Starman #55, "Taxicab Confessions" Written by James Robinson and David Goyer, pencils by Peter Snejbjerg, Chris Weston, and John McCrea, inks by Keith Champagne. Cover by Tony Harris.

The Starmen--Jack Knight, his dad Ted, and alien Mikaal--were doing a lost-in-space/time storyline at the time; but we don't really see them this issue. Instead, Space Cabbie picks up a couple guys who want to go to the Karloff sector. Figuring this was probably going to end in gunplay or something, Cabbie chats them up, trying to get at what they want out in the middle of nowhere. Nothing to see there but a debris field, and the Cabbie knows the story of that one: the Starmen had answered a distress call there, and fought Jovian pirate Jarko, to rescue the Teen Titans' Starfire. Jarko had a strange, curved staff--that you might recognize as another Starman's, Prince Gavyn's! His duel with Jack's Cosmic Rod is inconclusive, since the Knights of the Galaxy arrive and start shooting the place up, but Mikaal frees Starfire and they escape before it explodes.

EDIT: Did I have the wrong picture here? Lemme try that again.

The first passenger, revealing himself to be Space Ranger, disagrees on some of the details: yes, the Starmen were answering a distress signal. But it wasn't from the Titans' Starfire, it was from the 70's sci-fi revolutionary leader Starfire! Speaking mangled "ye olde Englishe," like they spoke back then, Jack challenges Jarko...to a game of a Twister knockoff? This time, the duel is interrupted by the Star Rovers, but Mikaal (looking very Spock-like in this version) still frees Starfire and they escape.

The second passenger also disagrees, and he was Ultra the Multi-Alien! In a far more bombastic version, the Starmen (including Jack in a more classic costume, as Mikaal as space Bucky) rescue Russian Starfire Red Star--why he was there is anyone's guess. Jarko challenges Jack to the contest of "unflinching gaze," and whoever grinned first lost! This time Tommy Tomorrow and the Planeteers blast up the joint, but the Starmen free Red Star and escape.

Although they had split a cab, Space Ranger and Ultra had been sent separately, by the Space Museum, to recover Gavyn's staff, since it could be dangerous. How'd Gavyn even get that thing--the guys all argue on that story, on their way home. 

Do comics do a better job of Rashomon'ing a story than Rashomon does? Sometimes, when the art shifts go hard enough, I'd say they might!

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"Illyana."

Most guys would probably be intimidated that Illyana has a big brother that's an insanely protective, seven-foot-tall, slab of metal beefcake; but she's actually plenty intimidating on her own. 

X-Men '97 has, in my probably solitary opinion, maybe done too much to rehabilitate the rep of Cyclops. Everyone thinks he's the bee's knees all of a sudden, 'cause he can what, electric slide using his eyebeams now? I say, he probably maintains a running mental total, of demerits for all of the X-Men, and probably himself. Only took out two Sentinels instead of three? Demerit! Not wearing a clean uniform after a three-issue fight? Demerit! Abandoning your wife and kid for your ex? Demerit, but only one.

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Sometime back, we saw an issue of Cybercrush: Robots in Revolt, but I thought I had covered at least a couple of these: they were in the same boat! Late era Fleetway/Quality reprint books, with better print quality and paper, a bit more expensive, and almost always with covers having nothing to do with the reprinted stories within! From 1992 (or thereabouts) Time Killers #3, cover by Rich Larson and Steve Fastner. 

 

The first reprint was from 1991's 2000 AD #739, an Indigo Prime story featuring Winwood and Cord. I don't know much about that one, but they're investigating what feels like a Doctor Who situation: Victorians with a time machine, one of whom might be (as in, totally is) Jack the Ripper. (Written by John Smith, art by Chris Weston.) Also weirdly: I don't have a ton of actual 2000 AD progs, but I feel like I have this particular one? Or maybe I've seen the Dredd story from it reprinted somewhere: the cover seems familiar, but Cliff Robinson does such a good job of aggrieved, "well, I never" kind of faces.

Next, "Shadows, part 3" was from 1990's 2000 AD #674, and I think I've read a chunk of that serial: Peter Milligan maybe wasn't big yet, but was on his way. Young "knowledge broker" Nina Coltrane had perhaps seen something she shouldn't, and was being erased from society. This chapter, her lover and her mom are killed, and her artist friend has a crisis in conscience while turning her over. The artist is killed by spherical drones, and Nina is forced to flee where she feels she now belongs: underground, "the world of shadows." (Art by Richard Elson.)

Son of a gun--I actually have the next prog as well! From 1992, 2000 AD #776, "Tales from Beyond Science" presents "Long Distance Calls" Written by Mark Millar, art by Rian Hughes. The pipe-smoking Professor Tremayne presents accounts of the voices of the dead, recorded on tape; and Guglielmo Marconi's experiments in contacting the dead, trying to reach his lost brother. The presentation feels exceedingly British somehow: "The dead seem to be trying to warn us all the time; I prefer not to speculate why..."

After a quick Future Shocks, another chapter of "Dry Run," from 1990's 2000 AD #690, written by Taisto Vahimagi, art by Kevin Hopgood. The Albion British Comics Wiki has a brief entry on it, set in a future earth where the seas had dried up; but the entry mostly didn't like the balloons used for the telepathic characters. (I had momentarily thought this would've been in Dredd continuity, like a Cursed Earth run, but nope!) 

Time Killers only ran seven issues, best guess I have two. Still, I kinda want whatever book the covers promised there...

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Hey, who said you could have a whip? That's my thing!

"The Summit Meeting" is a better title as well, but they kind of had to go with the other: from 1985, the Further Adventures of Indiana Jones #31, "Big Game" Written by Linda Grant, pencils by Ricardo Villamonte, inks by Danny Bulanadi.

Returning from a previous issue's adventure in China, Indy's small plane crashes on the coast of Washington state. (I'm assuming Washington and not Oregon, since a town named Canyon Creek is mentioned later.) Indy drags out his concussed pilot, and is then picked up by Kate Crawford, big game hunter. She had the same sort of fame/infamy Indy himself had, and was usually expected to be in Africa; but today was scouring the Pacific Northwest for Bigfoot. Indy doesn't believe in it, but there had been several murders...

Throw in a tightlipped Native American guide, a sheriff who seems to be more concerned with interlopers than the murders, a flashily-dressed mayor, and assorted rednecks and thugs; there are a few suspects but you might be able to guess. The whole thing ends in a brawl, with one using the cat-o-nine-tails they'd used to simulate Bigfoot murders. While the bad guys were trying to contact a Japanese sub, Kate gets knocked off a cliff, but something had saved her, grabbing her as she fell, but she passed out and couldn't see what. That puts her off the Bigfoot hunt, since she felt it would be ungrateful to continue; but Indy later confesses "his feet aren't that big." He saved Kate with his whip, but opted to let her think it was Bigfoot, since if there really was one, he didn't want to see it hunted.

I don't have it handy, but if you ever read Dark Horse's Star Wars Tales--those were non-continuity stories, from a variety of creators--Star Wars Tales #19 has a bit of a groaner, where Han Solo is mortally wounded, and he and Chewbacca crashland the Millennium Falcon somewhere a little bit ago and not as far, far away: on earth! Han's body is later found by Indiana Jones, and Chewie seems to be living a sad Bigfoot life alone in the forest. Still, I bet there's probably even more Indiana Jones/Bigfoot stories out there. Read more!

Is Impulse somehow a load-bearing piece of Legion continuity now? Grife, the future is in trouble...

We've blogged them in no particular order, but this is the last of the Legends of the Dead Earth annuals! And one of maybe two that was actually in regular DC Universe continuity at the time. Which, of course, means sprocking nothing nowadays...maybe. From 1996, Legionnaires Annual #3, "The Long Road Home" Written by Roger Stern, pencils by Charles (Chuck) Wojtkiewicz, Dan Jurgens, and Tony Castillo; inks by John Lowe, Don Hillsman, Dexter Vines, and Ron Boyd. Cover by Alan Davis and Mark Farmer!

I'd have to think pretty hard to counter this, but XS might be the last addition to the Legion of Super-Heroes that seemed to really stick? The Flash family legacy didn't hurt her, either: there aren't many Legionnaires that have appeared in live-action! But, today Jenni is stuck in 1996, after a time-travel mishap, and while she enjoyed getting to see her cousin Impulse and her grandma Iris, she wanted to get home, so Jay Garrick and 27th century Flash John Fox help her out with the Cosmic Treadmill. Which, as it sometimes did, fails her; as she lands further in the past (or, at least we would've assumed it was the past, then...) by her grandpa, Barry Allen! Who had been working on the Treadmill, to try and get some records back from his college dorm, which might be the most humanizing sentence I've read for Barry in ages. While Barry is glad to meet her, they both know she can't hang out, and Jenni is sad that she'd probably never see him again, as he helps her build up speed for the trip back to the future.

Unfortunately, this time Jenni overshoots, landing in the 100th century! Which is the fairly standard dystopia with robot enforcers, although they take an interest in XS as "unlicensed." She manages to avoid being 'downsized,' shrunken by the robots, but is captured and thrown in the 'Tombs,' advanced cells for earth's remaining super-powered individuals. The powerless heroes explain, the current overlord Nevlor had gotten rich selling "image enhancements," then got powerful enough to force those with powers to be licensed, or downsized, then replaced with younger knockoffs. There's some commentary here, it's subtle...As are the future heroes, who are variations on the Avengers, led by Gary Concord, the Ultra-Man! (Assume I said "not that one" here...) That's a callback to All-American Comics #8 from 1939! Gary had been a scientist, put in suspended animation in 1950, woke up in 2174, back in suspended animation here. Jenni is less freaked out about any of that, than the fact she was no longer on earth, but Almeer-5; and that earth (and the United Planets!) had been gone for centuries. (And, an aside: when I said it was subtle, I wasn't kidding: I thought it was just a jab at Image creators Lee and Liefeld on Marvel's Heroes Reborn, but 'Nevlor' is an anagram of Revlon, which owned Marvel for a bit! 'Almeer-V' is close-enough for 'Marvel' as well.)

At super-speed, Jenni is able to disable the bomb-collar on the Hulk-alike Behemoth, and then breaks out to buy time for Metallica and Avatar (again, not that...oh, nevermind) to get their respective gear, and Ultra-Man. The heroes have to fight their horrible replacements, and ask Jenni to stay and help form a new Legion, but she still wants to get home. Avatar lends her the Spear of Destiny (actually, yeah, that one!) to try and guide her through time: Jenni runs with it, to get going in the right direction, then lets it return to Avatar. But again, she finds herself even further in the future, at Vanishing Point, home of the Linear Men! Here, no one else can see her, even when her uncle Jay appears--mid-Zero Hour! Not a great day for Jay, as we see one of his JSA pals zorched in the background. The only one that can see Jenni, is a strange hooded figure, who describes himself as "Trapped" in "Time". Either Jenni slept through villain-identification at the Legion, or they hadn't run into the Time Trapper in post-Zero Hour continuity--if this was the same Trapper, or not, who could say? The Trapper does advise that time is not an absolute for ones like them, and also, the Linear Men suck: they tended to see things in black-and-white and probably would look down at her bouncing around time. The Trapper further reveals, he was responsible for Jenni's whole trip, to teach her something, which she won't be allowed to remember right now. Feels like that defeats the purpose, but sure. Jenni is returned to the 30th century, just a few weeks after she left, none the worse for wear. 

 I forget if this is still in continuity--probably not?--but pre-Flashpoint/New 52 Iris West was born in the 30th century but raised in the 20th. She would be killed by Reverse-Flash but brought back in a new body in the future, where she would have kids with Barry before he left to die in the original Crisis on Infinite Earths. (Said kids would be killed ignobly by the Dominators, in a brief back-up in the Five Years Later era.) Her grandson, Bart, was born with superspeed and aging super-fast, so she took him back to the 20th century to get help from the current Flash, Wally West. Jenni knew Bart: she had probably visited him in the virtual reality he lived in, in the 30th century. (Oddly, Brainiac 5 also knew Bart from the virtual reality, although was far less fond of him.) It's a lot of little dominoes to stack up to get to Impulse, who presumably existed around the time of the Legion; and he's back in current continuity more-or-less as his old self. I know every writer wants to do their own thing, put their own spin on it, but I'd keep XS in the Legion every reboot! I suggest just having her pop! out of the timesteam, and wonder what the grife happened there. Bonus points if she's still drawn in the cheery Jeffrey Moy style! 

Oh, and going through the tags again: the Starman Annual might have been in continuity, if the Shade is a reliable narrator; but I was thinking of the Power of Shazam one, since Thunder went back in time to join the Legion of Super-Heroes! And honestly, the Justice League America Annual could be in continuity as well, because that does seem like the other thing that routinely happens to Captain Atom. (Popping into the room, Captain Atom: "I made it! I'm back from the future!" J'onn, not looking up from his Chocos: "Uh-huh. And who was the bad guy this time?" CA, sheepishly: "...Booster." J'onn: "Uh-huh.")

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