I would've bet a quarter I'd blogged this before...

...and I'd have been wrong! I'm not even positive I've read this before, although one story was definitely familiar. From 1980, Time Warp #4. Cover by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

"Pen Pals" was surprisingly disturbing: a plain young girl (well, she's described as plain, but definitely Hollywood-plain) on satellite monitor duty strikes up a long-distance relationship with a lonely worker on a botanical satellite. Even though it was against the rules, she continues contacting him, eventually exchanging photos, and sending him a lock of her hair. That's when the nightmares start! The only cure for her might be to finally meet her guy, but she may have been warned off for a reason...(Written by Bob Haney, art by Fred Carrillo.)

"I, the Creature" is definitely a standard horror-comic plot, only set in space this time: two big-game hunters, despite fighting over a girl, intend to bring back the mythical alien Hwarka. There's betrayal, and ironic justice; you've seen this one before. (Written by George Kashdan, art by Michael Netzer.) "The Most Special of Effects" is a fun one, though: an aged FX artist has completed work for his magnum opus, "Trek Wars," and for his trouble is murdered by his producer, who wants all the credit. The FX artist says his friends would avenge him, which the producer scoffs at; but he's still in for a bad night at the Oscars, despite winning two! (Written by Scott Edelman, art by Joel Magpayo.)

"Asteroid Treachery" is, um, what if the Thing, except two of the humans used to be a couple, and hated and distrusted each other before throwing a shape-shifting monster into the mix? (Written by George Kashdan, pencils by Ernie Patricio.) "The Hole in Reality's Heart" is somewhat more romantic, as a young--and lonely-spacewoman is sucked into another dimension, and has to work with an alien scientist to stop a monster he accidentally created from destroying her universe, even if there was nothing in her universe for her...(Written by J. M. DeMatteis, pencils by Don Newton, inks by Steve Mitchell.)

"A Stitch in Time" was the only story I remembered; although did I read it here, possibly off the spinner racks as a kid? In a far future, two scientists travel back in time, in the hopes of preventing yet another nuclear war, by killing baby Albert Einstein! Finding him as a young boy, they're too soft-hearted to just murder him, so one has the idea of dumping him further in the past, say, 1782! No way he could develop atomic theory back then...right? (Written by David Allikas, art by Steve Ditko.) "The Uncommon Cold" is another comedy of errors, as in this future, a satellite lands on earth, with a horrible creature within, and the return of the common cold; which the future humans no longer had any resistance to. Their frantic research finds, a human woman had been launched, in suspended animation, but time and the cold had mutated her; so they travel back in time to cure her cold before she leaves. They didn't know why she had been launched, though...or that she knew what she was doing. (Written by George Kashdan, art by Ernie Patricio.) 

Finally, in "The Last Megathus," an aged xeno-zoologist takes to space, to save a massive specimen; but ultimately decides human life was more valuable. Enh...I hate this one, since the main part of the dilemma is an accident with a 3-D camera, that apparently runs on poison gas, that can seep even through a spacesuit as well as poison a kaiju-sized creature. Feh! (Written by Arnold Drake, art by Jerry Grandenetti.)

There was a house ad for this very issue within it, as well as a letters page that hailed Time Warp #1 as getting a lot of mail right away. Which maybe didn't translate into actual sales; #4 was the second-to-last issue; although it's end might have been due to market changes: the larger comics like this one were on their way out.

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I think I maybe found one other random issue of Stanley and His Monster since bringing it up, and I don't have all of this one, either: from 1991, Angel and the Ape #1, "Shaking the Family Tree" Written and penciled by Phil Foglio, inks by Keith Wilson.

Angel and the Ape didn't appear in the gorilla issue of Secret Origins, so we get a bit here that might be new: a flashback to Angel and Sam's first meeting. As a child, Angel had met Sam, who was then bitten by a snake, but was more worried about being sent back wherever he had come from. Fast-forward to the present, where Angel was a private investigator, who had developed a style of unarmed combat that would be effective against gorillas, and Sam was a comic-book artist who helped her out on cases. Sam also could talk, and had some mental power to keep humans from seeing him as a gorilla and panicking. This issue also reveals what might have been a fan theory prior: Angel was the half sister of Athena, a.k.a. Dumb Bunny, of the Inferior Five. Athena usually had lunch with Sam on Tuesdays, but today says she needed to talk to Angel, since she had been thinking about trying to start a relationship with Sam. Angel's first instinct was, he's a gorilla, but she had to admit Sam was a great guy, and the super-strong Athena was looking for a relationship with someone who could take it.

Meanwhile, Sam has a weird moment at the bank, where he appears human, but everyone else is a gorilla. It quickly snaps back, so later Sam passes himself off as a video technician, to get access to the bank's security footage: watching the tape with Angel confirms the change did happen, but just for a second. Angel thinks she can show that to the bank manager, to get the bank to hire them to investigate, when three bald stooges show up, demanding Sam come with them. Sam and Angel are no match for them, but Dumb Bunny is, easily clobbering them. The bank manager then arrives to offer them the job, but Sam says he has to go, maybe forever, and jumps out the window! Having no clue, the bank manager wonders why Sam wasn't splattered on the pavement ("Did he miss the ground?") and Angel and Athena realize, those stooges were really apes! To be continued...

Angel and the Ape actually already had a tag here, since we saw their Vertigo mini some years back! Their original sixties series only ran six issues, plus an additional "Meet Angel" issue, that appeared to be trying to change the branding a bit. Those are a bit rich for my blood, though; and I'm not sure they've ever been reprinted. Still, this series would later reveal a secret, about Sam's family... Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: House of Mystery #255!

I wasn't sure I had enough Thursdays left in October for another one, but also wasn't sure I had another one; but in the same pile, sure enough! From 1977, House of Mystery #255. Cover by Bernie Wrightson.

Another framing sequence in this one, as the House is crashed by first a gaggle of "Hollywood" monsters, then reporter Harvey H. Harvey. Despite being ready for bed, Cain is forced to entertain them, opening with "Small Wonder." In 1915, just before Christmas, young Danny is sent to the state orphanage, which is of course run by the cheapest bastard available at the time. Still, Danny was able to change things, magically creating a tree, coal, and toys for the other kids. (Coal doesn't sound great, but it was cold! And he brings all three? Suck on that, Santa!) The orphanage director, Denning, then kills the accountant to keep the secret; and tries winning Danny over as a friend. Which works, and Denning is able to convince the gullible kid into making money for him. Still, after he tries to keep another witness quiet the cops are on him, and Denning runs to Danny to hide him, which he does, by swiping from "It's a Good Life" turning Denning into a jack-in-the-box. That hides him from the cops, but like we said, it was cold: another child had burned some wooden soldiers and a jack-in-the-box to stay warm, since he has assumed Danny could make more, right? Um...(Framing sequence written by Paul Kupperberg, pencils by Ric Estrada, inks by Wayne Howard; "Small Wonder" Written by Jack Oleck, pencils by Ernie Chan, inks by Vince Colletta.)

"The Evil Half" is another deal-with-the-devil number, although it's visually interesting, as the devil appears as Flo, a flapper girl, to tempt suicidal bookkeeper Homer with power and money and dames. Honestly, any one of them probably would've done for him. (Written by Jack Oleck, art by Rubeny.)

Then, "Sometimes Leopards Can..." with story and art by Gray Morrow: animal tamer Erik Braden is on top of his game and the world, but was constantly pushing to stay that way, struggling to find new animals for his act. In Africa, he's stricken by the dancer Fera, and tries to buy out her contract...or her, if it came to that. Fera's manager reveals, she was actually a were-leopard, kept in check by the silver choker she wore; and he gives Erik the key; which is of course like giving him rope. Erik was mean to the animals, then jealous when they responded better to Fera; so he decides to unlock her choker: taming a were-leopard would be a great act, unless of course you got bit and turned into one yourself.

Next, a visit to Abel at the House of Secrets: unsure if he's speaking to the readers, an "imaginary friend," or no one; Abel opts to get a public relations guy for the HoS, and calls DC's own Mike Gold! Who doesn't have time for Abel's numbskullery, but maybe still helps. ("Is Anyone Listening?" Written by Jack C. Harris, pencils by Ric Estrada, inks by Wayne Howard.)

"When You Wish Upon a Star" is the cover story: the GCD notes, it was an older piece by Wrightson, and the story written later to tie into it. A somewhat incompetent witch has some skills and a helpful cat familiar, but can't conjure herself up a guy: her last attempt brings an unappealing creature from space, but he might have been incompetent himself! (Based on the Wrightson cover, written by Cary Burkett, art by Frank Redondo.)

"Bed of Roses" finds a young girl, Lila, rich after her parents' deaths, pursued by a small town reporter; who's using her for her money. After the reporter seems to get what he wants and disappears with a nightclub girl, Lila is seemingly left with only flowers to remind her, but on her deathbed confesses there was something more...(Written by Robert Kanigher, art by Alex Nino.) "The Killing" follows hack magician and gambler Mason the Magnificent, who accidentally kills his boss after he gets fired for missing too many shows, then flees into the jungle. Eventually collapsing, Mason is taken in by an unknown tribe, with a strange god, and ample gold jewelry; but while they know poker, they won't let him in the game, since his money was literally no good there. Mason uses his tricks, to finally convince the tribe he should be allowed to join, and the tribe leader lets him; although if you've ever read any of these you know Mason is just digging his own grave. (Written by Jack Oleck, art by Bill Draut.) 

 After the one-pager "The Victim," Cain still hasn't gotten anyone to leave, and opts to vacate for the graveyard, to see if he could get a good night's sleep there.

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"Better."

The sword wouldn't usually make the swordsman, unless maybe you've got Excalibur. Now I'm mildly curious where Kurt gets his swords in regular continuity. He probably has a guy that spends months and hand-crafts them to an exacting standard; then Kurt shows up again twenty minutes later for another one 'cause he broke it on a Sentinel head or something. 

"Khlav Kalash" is of course from "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson," a classic. And the Khlav Kalash guy has appeared a few times and seems to be doing well for himself. I'm not usually adventurous enough, or maybe I don't get out enough, to sample fare like that; although I suspect Magik maybe isn't a picky eater. 

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We don't have a bunch of them this year, but I did luck into one over the weekend: from 1973, the Twilight Zone #53. Cover by George Wilson.

Is historical accuracy important to you? If you answered yes, you're still a poser to "The Expert." John Phipps was a historical consultant, who hired out to movies and TV shows, to neg them about inaccuracies. While he's technically correct, as when he points out ancient Romans wouldn't have had access to pineapples; John is also a pedantic know-it-all. Until he goes on vacation in England, and visiting a castle, is treated with a quick visit to the past. At first thinking they were just actors, he critiques them on their clothes, the decor, and their dance steps; before realizing this was how it really was, regardless of what he 'knew.' Returned to the future, John has learned a lesson and is cooler and a lot more chill, which I worry is going to get him fired. "Did medieval knights wear sunglasses?...eh, historical records are spotty at best on the subject, so why not?" (A rare writer's credit, from the GCD: written by Paul S. Newman, pencils by Adolfo Buylla.)

I swear I haven't been looking for these, but it feels like voodoo has come up on the blog a lot this year? Here's another problematic one, with more problems: "Who's Afraid of the Ju-Ju Man?" After losing at poker, a farmer is coerced into selling his best 'field hand,' Dr. Sam. (Slave. They mean slave.) Bigger plantation owner Clay gets a bit wild-eyed talking about Dr. Sam, who was well-respected by all, possibly because he was a witch doctor: Clay felt he needed to be taken down, to show the others their place. The farmer's wife tries to warn Dr. Sam, who had been making a house call on a local child, and diagnosed appendicitis. (He wasn't going to perform the surgery, saying "only a white doctor's knife" could save the kid...ugh.) Dr. Sam refuses to run, since he knew Clay would take it out on other slaves, but tells them Clay would destroy himself. Clay tries to lay down the law, first by telling him no more 'doctor' talk, then that he had to deny having any special powers. Having special powers, Dr. Sam refuses to lie, and is locked in a wardrobe for days, but still refuses to break. Dying, Dr. Sam curses Clay, with the most powerful curse of all, to become what he hates most...and Clay's color changes, to that of a black man. Clay then spends the rest of his days, as "just another field hand...a prisoner not of stone or steel--but of my own skin!" The farmer and his wife still see Clay as a white man, but think he cracked when Dr. Sam died. Does that mean you should keep letting him work as a slave? I suppose they aren't making him work, exactly; just letting him think he has to...Well, they already owned slaves, so I guess no point splitting hairs on the moral high ground there. (Art by Luis Dominguez.)

The cover feature, "The Isle of the Dead" follows two reporters, visiting said isle near Venice, on All Hallows' Eve. They're looking for proof of the supernatural, and of course get more than they bargained for, as the dead rise up...to dance. (No credits for this one?)

Finally, in "Those Good Ol' Days," (art by Jack Abel) a record shop owner possibly hurts the feelings of his best customer, Herbie, who dressed like a 33-year-old greaser. (So, a typical greaser, then.) Herbie was still living like it was his personal golden age, 1957; but then buys a batch of "Vermillion grooming oil" from a peddler, that had maybe expired, transporting him back to his teenage years. (I had to look up if that was a real product, so far I don't think so!) Herbie quickly discovers, oh yeah, 1957 sucked ass, as he's harassed by his folks, the cops, and the gangs. Returning to the present, Herbie grows up, starting by unloading his record collection, cheap. Forty years later, he sees an article about what those records would be worth now, and immediately dies. OK, I made that last bit up, but still consider it canon...in the Twilight Zone. Read more!

I knew this had an adaptation, but I wouldn't have believed you if you had told me it ran so long.

My Youngest son has been on a David Cronenberg kick: he'd just watched Videodrome, although now I think I need to ask him if he recognized video tapes. Or Debbie Harry. I keep telling him he'll like eXistenz, but he had also just watched Nightbreed, which features Cronenberg as serial killer Dr. Philip K. Decker. In fact, the serial killer angle might have been played up in that movie's ad campaign: marketing maybe tried to push it as a slasher, which it wasn't, really. Back in 1990, I remember some ads in DC's higher-end titles for the film, with detailed portraits of some of the monstrous Night Breed; but Marvel/Epic would get an adaptation of the film. Then, like Star Wars before it, that series went on to original stories, starting here: from 1990, Clive Barker's Night Breed #5, "The Blasphemers - Prelude: Scattering Seeds of Damnation" Written by Dan Chichester, pencils by Jackson "Butch" Guice, painted colors by Alfred Ramirez.

Picking up where the movie ended, after the destruction of the Nightbreed's refuge Midian, several of the 'Breed were re-entering the world: a world that hated and feared them as monsters, although sometimes not without reason. Six of them rob a nearby gas station, but leave the attendant to round up a small posse to go after them. One, Aello, stays behind to slow down pursuit, by seducing one of the pursuers. That leaves their leader, Mulciber, free to argue with the bland-looking Oral: Oral was struggling to abide by the commandments of their god Baphomet, which maybe involved not killing and eating people. Mulciber argues, it was natural...and tasty. (Aello kills hers, by flying him up and dropping him: she had large angel wings, unusual eyes and eyebrows, and a spectacular rack. Her victim probably only noticed one of those things...) Mulciber gives Oral some rocks; setting up a great scare on the next page! I don't want to spoil it more than that.

Meanwhile, another Nightbreed girl was travelling with a piece of Baphomet, who blows a farmer's mind with a quick recap of their history. And the Nightbreed's possible savior, Aaron 'Cabal' Boone, and his crew take down a drug dealer; to shake him down for one of their own, that didn't go to Midian but had remained in the 'natural' world...

I had seen the movie again fairly recently, and while Cronenberg quite sells his role, it still wasn't really a slasher movie. It's maybe more about finding the people that are like yourself, even if you sometimes even find them disturbing. There's also the notion, can you deny what you really are, even if society doesn't approve? Also, I got seven issues of this over the weekend; and I wouldn't have been surprised if you told me it only ran seven issues: nope! It ran for 25, although that synopsis of the last issue makes it seem like the Nightbreed would find their new Midian, probably the one place you would expect if you've read a fair amount of X-Men comics. Read more!

Aw, of course the one time I find one of these...

...the regular artist's out that month! Well, we'll still take a quick look at this one: from 1992, the Fly #14, "Games Evil Plays" Written by Len Strazewski, pencils by Al Bigley, inks by Pablo Marcos. Cover by Mike Parobeck!

Have I not blogged any Impact Comics before? This was DC's first attempt at relaunching the Archie Comics/Red Circle superheroes, like the Comet and the Shield. I know I read the Comet at the time, since I was following artist Tom Lyle from Starman; but I should've been buying the Fly, which featured art by the great Mike Parobeck! Still, guest-artist Bigley does a good job with his character designs this issue.

This issue, the Fly has to (lamely) explain to his police contact his role in the brief disappearance of local teen Jason Troy, who of course was the Fly! Then, a fight with avid bowler and sportswoman Domino--altogether now, 'not that one,' although it would be hilarious to see Neena in this one's costume, which seems direct from Batman '66. She had a domino calling-card, to set up a fight in a bowling alley, but has billiard balls all over her outfit; kind of feels like she's all over the place. She puts the Fly through some Arcade-style traps at the bowling alley, then bails; but one of Jason's classmates may be getting too close to her...or trying, anyway; you know what high school guys are like. Domino could've been a mass-murderer that kicked puppies, but in that outfit... Read more!