Is Impulse somehow a load-bearing piece of Legion continuity now? Grife, the future is in trouble...

We've blogged them in no particular order, but this is the last of the Legends of the Dead Earth annuals! And one of maybe two that was actually in regular DC Universe continuity at the time. Which, of course, means sprocking nothing nowadays...maybe. From 1996, Legionnaires Annual #3, "The Long Road Home" Written by Roger Stern, pencils by Charles (Chuck) Wojtkiewicz, Dan Jurgens, and Tony Castillo; inks by John Lowe, Don Hillsman, Dexter Vines, and Ron Boyd. Cover by Alan Davis and Mark Farmer!

I'd have to think pretty hard to counter this, but XS might be the last addition to the Legion of Super-Heroes that seemed to really stick? The Flash family legacy didn't hurt her, either: there aren't many Legionnaires that have appeared in live-action! But, today Jenni is stuck in 1996, after a time-travel mishap, and while she enjoyed getting to see her cousin Impulse and her grandma Iris, she wanted to get home, so Jay Garrick and 27th century Flash John Fox help her out with the Cosmic Treadmill. Which, as it sometimes did, fails her; as she lands further in the past (or, at least we would've assumed it was the past, then...) by her grandpa, Barry Allen! Who had been working on the Treadmill, to try and get some records back from his college dorm, which might be the most humanizing sentence I've read for Barry in ages. While Barry is glad to meet her, they both know she can't hang out, and Jenni is sad that she'd probably never see him again, as he helps her build up speed for the trip back to the future.

Unfortunately, this time Jenni overshoots, landing in the 100th century! Which is the fairly standard dystopia with robot enforcers, although they take an interest in XS as "unlicensed." She manages to avoid being 'downsized,' shrunken by the robots, but is captured and thrown in the 'Tombs,' advanced cells for earth's remaining super-powered individuals. The powerless heroes explain, the current overlord Nevlor had gotten rich selling "image enhancements," then got powerful enough to force those with powers to be licensed, or downsized, then replaced with younger knockoffs. There's some commentary here, it's subtle...As are the future heroes, who are variations on the Avengers, led by Gary Concord, the Ultra-Man! (Assume I said "not that one" here...) That's a callback to All-American Comics #8 from 1939! Gary had been a scientist, put in suspended animation in 1950, woke up in 2174, back in suspended animation here. Jenni is less freaked out about any of that, than the fact she was no longer on earth, but Almeer-5; and that earth (and the United Planets!) had been gone for centuries. (And, an aside: when I said it was subtle, I wasn't kidding: I thought it was just a jab at Image creators Lee and Liefeld on Marvel's Heroes Reborn, but 'Nevlor' is an anagram of Revlon, which owned Marvel for a bit! 'Almeer-V' is close-enough for 'Marvel' as well.)

At super-speed, Jenni is able to disable the bomb-collar on the Hulk-alike Behemoth, and then breaks out to buy time for Metallica and Avatar (again, not that...oh, nevermind) to get their respective gear, and Ultra-Man. The heroes have to fight their horrible replacements, and ask Jenni to stay and help form a new Legion, but she still wants to get home. Avatar lends her the Spear of Destiny (actually, yeah, that one!) to try and guide her through time: Jenni runs with it, to get going in the right direction, then lets it return to Avatar. But again, she finds herself even further in the future, at Vanishing Point, home of the Linear Men! Here, no one else can see her, even when her uncle Jay appears--mid-Zero Hour! Not a great day for Jay, as we see one of his JSA pals zorched in the background. The only one that can see Jenni, is a strange hooded figure, who describes himself as "Trapped" in "Time". Either Jenni slept through villain-identification at the Legion, or they hadn't run into the Time Trapper in post-Zero Hour continuity--if this was the same Trapper, or not, who could say? The Trapper does advise that time is not an absolute for ones like them, and also, the Linear Men suck: they tended to see things in black-and-white and probably would look down at her bouncing around time. The Trapper further reveals, he was responsible for Jenni's whole trip, to teach her something, which she won't be allowed to remember right now. Feels like that defeats the purpose, but sure. Jenni is returned to the 30th century, just a few weeks after she left, none the worse for wear. 

 I forget if this is still in continuity--probably not?--but pre-Flashpoint/New 52 Iris West was born in the 30th century but raised in the 20th. She would be killed by Reverse-Flash but brought back in a new body in the future, where she would have kids with Barry before he left to die in the original Crisis on Infinite Earths. (Said kids would be killed ignobly by the Dominators, in a brief back-up in the Five Years Later era.) Her grandson, Bart, was born with superspeed and aging super-fast, so she took him back to the 20th century to get help from the current Flash, Wally West. Jenni knew Bart: she had probably visited him in the virtual reality he lived in, in the 30th century. (Oddly, Brainiac 5 also knew Bart from the virtual reality, although was far less fond of him.) It's a lot of little dominoes to stack up to get to Impulse, who presumably existed around the time of the Legion; and he's back in current continuity more-or-less as his old self. I know every writer wants to do their own thing, put their own spin on it, but I'd keep XS in the Legion every reboot! I suggest just having her pop! out of the timesteam, and wonder what the grife happened there. Bonus points if she's still drawn in the cheery Jeffrey Moy style! 

Oh, and going through the tags again: the Starman Annual might have been in continuity, if the Shade is a reliable narrator; but I was thinking of the Power of Shazam one, since Thunder went back in time to join the Legion of Super-Heroes! And honestly, the Justice League America Annual could be in continuity as well, because that does seem like the other thing that routinely happens to Captain Atom. (Popping into the room, Captain Atom: "I made it! I'm back from the future!" J'onn, not looking up from his Chocos: "Uh-huh. And who was the bad guy this time?" CA, sheepishly: "...Booster." J'onn: "Uh-huh.")

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It's a coin-toss whether or not you like this comic. Or this post!

 

"What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?" Only Anton Chigurh and Donald Duck know for sure! From 1991, Walt Disney Comics and Stories #561, reprinting 1953's Walt Disney Comics and Stories #v13#5 (149), "Flip Decision" Story and art by Carl Barks. "Flipism" cover by William Van Horn.

Passing by what seems like a revival tent, filled sparsely with hobos and loafers, Donald is introduced to the philosophy of "flipism," on a coin toss with its presenter, Professor Batty. He's quickly enamored with the notion, of solving all decisions, great or small, with a coin toss: when the boys want to go to the movies and see "Gore in the Gully," Donald flips on it. Tails meant a car ride instead, navigated by more coin flips: this is both a great way to maybe explore when you're not really headed anywhere in particular, and also to get lost as duck. After several small disasters, they eventually hit a massive "seven route interchange" and a head-on collision with a truck! Which does get them back to Duckville, albeit in the back of a squad car; and as typical for these stories, the law never helps but only punishes, although the judge arguably has a point about Donald "letting a dime do your thinking for you."

Furious, Donald tries to track down Professor Batty, for revenge, and the dollar he spent on the flipism tract. The boys make a crack about maybe flipism could find him, and Donald decides, why not? Navigating the streets by coin flips, he eventually comes to a duplex, but in the dark can't tell how the coin landed, for which door to try: it landed tails, but he couldn't see it and decides he'll just try them both. Oddly enough, the first door is Daisy Duck's! Who was visiting her sister and nieces, and gives Donald the riot act for not taking her to the movies earlier. Donald ends up taking Daisy, April, May, June, Huey, Dewey, and Louis to "Gore in the Gully," while behind the duplex's other door, Professor Batty knows he dodged a bullet, as he prepares to skip town.

Man, I really want to see a Two-Face story in this style. "Alright, boys! Tonight, heads, we rob the Gotham Metropolitan Museum! Tails, we...crap, I don't know, kidnap this kid." Behind Harvey, the kid and a pair of twin goons look at other uncomfortably...

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"Lesson."

Two recently picked up figures this week: Spider-Boy and Magik! I saw the latter at a Wal-Mart, and kinda figured it was now or never. We'll see her again next time and have a halfassed explanation why she's in her old New Mutants uniform. Then, I wanted Spider-Boy to serve as a foil to both Miles and Pavitr, who are both at that awkward age where most everyone older than them is a geezer that doesn't understand them, and anyone younger is still a baby and doesn't understand them. It also frees them up from just arguing with each other, to argue with Bailey instead. Either Spider-Boy is weirdly tall, or that Miles figure is a bit short? Read more!

It's true what they say, with a big winged helmet, comes great responsibility. Wait, that's not it.

Still, here's a rock-solid issue, in the middle of a longer storyline, tying into an old story, with great art and interesting monster design. From 1985, Warlord #90, "Demons of Days Past" Written by Cary Burkett, art by Rich Buckler.

In sunny Skartaris, Travis Morgan was feeling a bit gloomy today: the war against the invading New Atlanteans and their Beast-Men was not going swimmingly, and in the previous issue he had caught an earful, accused of constantly running off to play hero rather than put in the work to build on the dreams he'd inspired. Which, of course, was brutally, devastatingly accurate; no notes. Travis wishes he could bag out, explore Skartaris, get away from everyone that was counting on him; when he is approached by a weird old man. Real Merlin type. The geezer advises, Travis was facing a choice: try and build a kingdom, based on fairness and justice; or keep performing individual deeds of heroism and valor that were good but maybe didn't add up in the long run. Travis notices the old man didn't have a reflection...which is weirdly not brought up again, and later he thinks he might've dreamed that. Or been out in the sun too long, it didn't set there...

Meanwhile, another long-running subplot continued, as Jennifer Morgan frees Tinder (secretly her younger brother, which no one knew, so keep it under your hat) and his weird cave-monkey friend Chakka from the thrall of the gem of the Evil One. Taking the gem for study, Jennifer does advise Ashir against pocketing any of the pile of gold there, as it was almost certainly cursed...

But, her dad was also about to head out for some gold, needed for the war effort: their new base was near a certain pyramid, the ruins of Shaban D'aba. Which was from a million issues ago--oh, all right, it was from Warlord #31, and one of my favorite stupid posts here: "Dear Tara." Speaking of, today Tara decides she's not putting up with Travis's nonsense and opts to go with him on this one. This does of course involve a dinosaur attack on the way there, because this was Skartaris and you had to expect this sort of thing, the unexpected and all that.

This pyramid was from back in the "Wizard World" days, and was basically a vault to keep the wizards' gold away from the Evil One, who since we've brought him up twice: yeah, he was coming back soon. Travis had found the secret entrance by accident and didn't think anyone else could get in, but they're surprised when some local villagers are dropping off a sacrifice, which appeared to be baskets of fruit and a dead horse. The head villager advises them to get clear: sometime back, some asshole freed some demon from the pyramid...Travis doesn't have long to feel bad about that, as Tara asks him how he killed the demon-bird that flew him away--you know, it is legit touching that she believes that story, especially since Travis came back with Shakira after that one. They're interrupted by the demon at hand, a lion-headed, multi-hooved thing. Biblically-accurate demon!

When their weapons don't do any good, Travis and Tara retreat into the pyramid, but the demon turns into smoke to follow. Grabbing an ax, Travis grits his teeth and gets ready to go down swinging, telling Tara he loves her. Tara, on the other hand, keeps her head, and spies a bottle and stopper, with the same symbol on it as the demon. Hoping the wizards had used it to trap the demon, Travis manages the same, burning his hand a bit in the process. But, it seemed to bring him and Tara closer together again...probably until the next time he goes off on some adventure. Oh, and for good measure--well, sort of good measure? I'm not sure it helped this book any, but the Monitor from Crisis on Infinite Earths makes an appearance, watching Travis and Tara from his satellite. Pretty sure they didn't have much idea what was going on there, but it would cue up a recap of Travis's origin next month, with some new wrinkles. Read more!

I had a really nice bike ride yesterday (as I write this) in terrible conditions: I waited until about the hottest time of the day, and it was pretty windy for here. Which made for slow going into the wind, but just flying on the way back! Way more fun than I expected. Today, on the other hand, is tire-melting weather; and I'm trying to cover some posts for when I'm out, so we get a classic, that somewhat annoyingly isn't reprinted where you would expect! From 1984, Captain America #289, "Tomorrow, the World?" Written by J.M. DeMatteis, pencils by Mike Zeck, inks by John Beatty.

This issue isn't included in Deathlok the Demolisher: the Complete Collection or Captain America: Deathlok Lives, although it seems like, um, the conclusion? Will Cap be able to stop Deathlok's horrible future (of 1990...) from happening? Are earth's heroes doomed? Deathlok only appears in flashback, so I guess they figured his job was done and this was Cap's problem now. (Also, I would'a sworn there was a Deathlok Lives trade with that sick Zeck cover from Cap #286.)

The Brand Corporation (and its parent company, Roxxon) was about to finally launch the Nth Project and its Nth Commandos: sure, it's a bunch of goons in green jumpsuits, but their guns were the special part. Each commando had a hand-held "Nth Projector" capable of banishing any target to another reality, where they would immediately die. Their targets, for a simultaneous attack, were the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and the X-Men! For day one, anyway. Then maybe a day to recharge (the guns, not the goons, the goons were totally expendable) before they hit the solo guys; figure about a week to wipe out every superhuman in the United States. One of the goons was Godwulf, who in the future would regret his actions and had just sent Captain America back to try and stop it--and himself, although Godwulf pretty obviously hated his past self, who we see later in the issue about to lead his squad into the Baxter Building.

Cap is stymied by Ma Bell, though, as he didn't have twenty cents for the pay phone to warn anyone! Wow, that'll date this issue more than anything. Instead, Cap is forced to rush the Nth Project's secret front office, the Broadway branch of Metro Bank! Smashing through the front window, Cap tells the guard he's there to rob the joint, and to call the cops; but the guard calls his boss instead, who tells him to just keep it quiet and clean up the mess. Godwulf had given Cap the codes for the doors, and Cap was hoping to get to the Nth Generator: while the projectors would be able to take out even the mightiest hero in one shot, they took a ton of extradimensionally funneled power, which was their weakness. With the benefit of Godwulf's info, Cap is able to fight through a room full of goons, then lasers, and then gas. But not even Godwulf knew the last line of defense...a giant-ass robot! That reads Cap's mind, nearly burns though his shield, and no-sales said shield right back at him!

Shaken, Cap is on the verge of quitting, but doesn't have that in him: instead, he rallies, seemingly effortlessly dashing through the robot's legs, vaulting up its back, and smashing its roboskull, all while making a speech! In real time, it might not have been quite as impressive: the robot wasn't real, just "psycho-waves" blasted into the room. The suit running the Nth Project can't fathom why Cap wasn't driven hopelessly insane: because he's Captain America, stupid. The Nth generator blows, leaving the Nth Commandos up a creek: a smug squad is remarkably less so, when the projectors don't work after they trash-talked Thor, She-Hulk, and a very pissed-off Wasp. Cap leaves the clean-up to Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D...huh, wrapped up sooner than usual today.

Because it was Marvel's Assistant Editor Month! Which gave the creative crews some leeway to take swings, or make jokes. Or both! Assistant editor Mike Carlin, dressed as the Watcher, presents "Bernie America, Sentinel of Liberty!" Cap's girl Bernie Rosenthal wonders what it would be like, if she were the one always running off to save the world or New Jersey or whatever, and her "ever-loyal, sheepish, and not-especially-bright love interest Steve Rogers" was left behind to cry about it. But, as fun as it is for her to imagine the shoe being on the other foot, she's still overjoyed when the real Steve shows up. 

There's some swell writing this ish, but Zeck absolutely crushes it: I dunno if the book had looked that good in years, or would look that good again for years! This is also one of maybe...four? issues for Assistant Editor's Month that I read at the time: Conan the King #20 took a swing, with "The Prince is Dead" and changing to a bit more long-form stories. Star Wars #79 is a solid adventure but also funny in a way I don't think we'll ever see that franchise get to be again. Despite what he may have become, Fantastic Four #262, "The Trial of Reed Richards" is like John Byrne at the height of his powers. And speaking of Byrne, I didn't get this until much, much later, but we've seen the Thing #7 here, as well as the Hembeck hijinks of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #86. Further back, we glanced at ROM #50, but mostly from the viewpoint of the Skrulls. If you go all the way back, like twenty years ago we looked at Moon Knight #35 a few times! 

Also this issue: ads for both Popeye and War Room videogames! I had them both on the ColecoVision and enjoyed the hell out of them, although just saying "ColecoVision" ages a person like ten years...

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One story has a pretty good message! And one foresees, um, TRON.

Aw, that's still pretty good! From 1979, House of Mystery #268. Cover by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

The first story, feels like a riff on the movie Tron but predated it by three years! In "Night Call, Collect" a terminally ill man funds a program, to turn a man into a program; breaking a person down into data, then adjusting and correcting it, to return them to perfect health. The man isn't about to be the first test monkey for that, though, and zaps one of his scientists into it instead, in a bit that seems to predict "de-rezzing" in Tron. But he starts to get strange calls at night...and the tape the scientist was supposed to be encoded onto, was blank! (Written by Wyatt Gwyon, art by Ruben Yandoc.)

"Dead Buddy" is a brief bit of CB radio nonsense, as was the style at the time; then "The Man Who Spoke With Spirits" is a very nice object lesson. Endlessly seeking knowledge, a king invokes spirits for their wisdom: the spirits oblige him, but say he must obey their every command. Every command? Yeah, every command! First: build a fancy monastery. Sure, why not? Then, start gathering up all the gold in the kingdom: it's rough on the peasants, but it'll teach 'em "the virtue of poverty." When the peasants are ready to revolt, the spirits help the king summon demons, then advise him to imprison random citizens to keep the rest from getting uppity. So desperate for wisdom is this king, that he goes along with everything the spirits order, like 'give your daughter to the barbarians to get them to lay off' and 'eat garbage to learn humility.' Let's just say, it takes a long time for this guy to get wise...(Written by T.Casey Brennan, art by Jess Jodloman.)

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The cover is just to draw attention from the fact that this is hardly a "Two-in-One."

I don't think this cover fooled anyone at the time, although I'm not sure it was supposed to. This wasn't really a team-up story and they had to put something on the cover, so...from 1982, Marvel Two-in-One #91, "In the Shadow of the Sphinx!" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Ron Wilson, inks by Jon D'Agostino.

There were other heroes in this issue, even if they really aren't helping poor Ben out much: Dr. Strange makes an astral appearance, to tell Ben he has to go to Egypt. Ben blows him off, but then Reed was examining a recent survey picture of Egypt, which showed a pyramid that he didn't remember being there before. That's enough to compel Ben, grudgingly, to fly over in a pogo plane for a look. Which still might be a dumb idea, since Ben realizes when he gets there, he doesn't speak the language and can't really question the locals. Then, an escaped professor asks him for help, but he's chased by a batch of local goons. Said goons are no match for the Thing, but Ben loses track of the professor in the fight, so he opts to "surrender" and get taken to the big bad. Which--that shadow--could it be?

No, it's the Sphinx, remember the title of the story? And so you don't forget, while Ben's chained up, the Sphinx monologues for three solid pages on his origin, the Ka Stone that gave him immortality, getting super-bored with said immortaliity, challenging Galactus to a fight and losing, and Galactus sending him back in time to get his Ka Stone again and relive his stupid life. The problem was, Galactus sent him back to just before he got the stone, creating a time paradox--I don't know if that's a paradox as much as a mere loop. Working together, the two Sphinxes create a machine to rebuild the Ka Stone after it was broken, and one Sphinx goes into suspended animation to wait for that day. Which...why? Weren't you sick of that life? Why wouldn't you tell your past self to do things differently, rather than "do everything exactly the same, it'll go badly and you'll end up exactly where I am."

When the Sphinx leaves to see if the Ka Stone is done cooking, Ben frees himself from the big metal mittens he was held by, then goes to punch him up. Even without his stone, the Sphinx wasn't a pushover, although he is hurt when Ben accidentally catches him with a shot to the kidneys. Furious, the Sphinx throws Ben's pogo plane at him--I don't think you see those anymore, maybe this is why--but that just got Ben into position to clobber the Ka Stone machine. The stone reaches out to Ben's mind, trying to convince him to take it, but Ben's not buying it. Thrown for a loop after the usual massive explosion, Ben is down when the Sphinx finds his partially rebuilt stone. While glad to have it, he also realizes he's maybe not the head guy in their pairing, and sensing that the Ka Stone had plans for Ben, he takes off in his flying pyramid. Ben probably had to fly home commercial. (Weirdly, he'd be back in Egypt in MTIO #95!)

Batman-shaped shadow notwithstanding, I don't think Ben had to face the Sphinx again: after this, he seemed to be Nova and the New Warriors' problem. This is at least one more issue where Ben's reading is rudely interrupted (I'm thinking of Spidey surprising Ben in Marvel Two-in-One Annual #2) as he's reading a "Mark Boyland" novel while lifting weights: that's a reference to Mack Bolan and the Executioner novels, which ran from 1969 to 2020! Ben also cross-pitches Epic Magazine, suggesting the Sphinx pitch his fantasy there. And although I don't think any of them are related: how many evil rocks are there in the Marvel Universe? The Soul Gem, Bloodstone's stone, several Moonstones, the Ka Stone: many of which are portrayed as trying to influence or take over their bearer. (Then there's the Looter, who claims to hear his meteorite but everyone assumes he's nuts!) Also, on the back of this issue: the full-page ad for Megaforce! Somehow, I saw that in theater, and spoiler alert: it's not very good! Read more!