"Riddle."

So, maybe two things brought this strip about: first, an old post about two stoners contemplating lightsaber fights, with one asking why Jedis or Sith don't use the Force to boop! Switch their opponent's lightsaber off mid-fight. Because that would be a dick move, even for a Sith? (Deep, nerdy sigh: I don't think most Force-users are capable of that kind of focus in the middle of a duel; it would be like trying to do complex equations during a fight. That or "keeping your lightsaber from being switched off mid-fight" is like a day one class.) And while prop lightsabers are usually big enough to accommodate batteries, or a plastic blade; in-story aren't they relatively thinner? Whereas in other media, like comics, a legally-distinct-from-a-lightsaber weapon usually looks like a good-sized Maglite. 

Dane's photon sword maybe hasn't been seen in comics for a while--like since he came back from the Ultraverse? So far I don't think there's been any in-story reason for him not to have it, or to have not built another one if he left it in the Ultraverse. My first thought was he probably could, unless it required materials or components he couldn't easily get anymore--stupid chip shortage! I haven't seen an Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe diagram, so for all I know it could take plutonium, vibranium, dilithium, Kryptonite, and crack to build a photon sword. (To the tune of Queens of the Stone Age "Feel Good Hit of the Summer.") We've linked back to OAFE's Black Knight review a couple times, but as they point out, the blade on the Black Knight's photon sword is not removable, nor did Hasbro supply an off version. If you look real close at it, you can see the hilt has a little peg, that the blade fits on; rather than the blade having a peg that plugs into the hilt. Best guess, the plasic of the blade maybe wouldn't have supported a peg, or wouldn't cast properly? 

In-continuity, Dane had "the Sword of Light" and "Shield of Night" for a while: I can picture the Shield, I think one of the earlier Black Knight figures has it. Those were from Merlin, or a Merlin, anyway: it feels like there's a couple different versions of him kicking around the 616, who knows what you'll get? Two different versions appeared in Excalibur; that Merlin was eventually revealed as a manipulative dick and then never seen again, at least in that book. Or, there's the friendly grouch of Iron Man #250: England seems to be actively working against his efforts to save it, but still seems better than current England? I haven't seen the Black Knight's Merlin, he could be one of those or so different he's basically another guy entirely. But, I'm thinking of that seemingly brief stretch, where Captain America had just got his proper vibranium shield back, but still had his replacement photonic shield gizmo: why wouldn't you keep both? That thing can't be too heavy...I could see Cap deciding that keeping it charged was too much of a pain, didn't want to get into a situation where it failed maybe. For Dane, it could be the Ebony Blade exerting some influence: thou shalt have no swords before me. 

Oh, and "the riddle of steel" is almost a Zen koan, and might be if you want it to be; but it's from the Conan the Barbarian movie; and has nothing to do with anything!

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This is a quarter-bin copy, of a book I know I've had since it came out, but hadn't read in years: it was just prior to a big change, although there were signs. That and it's got one of my favorite bits, from a character who has not fared well in the years since. From 1987, Captain America #329, "Movers and Monsters" Written by Mark Gruenwald, breakdowns by Paul Neary, finishes by Vince Colletta. "To Live and Die--Under L.A.!" cover by Mike Zeck! (It's a riff on the 1985 movie To Live and Die in L.A., which to the best of my knowledge doesn't feature literal monsters.)

Following up from plot points in the Thing, this was the second of four issues, with Captain America on the trail of the Power Broker: after a second clash with the super-strong Super-Patriot, Cap had recognized his fighting style as wrestling-trained. Meeting up with the Thing's friend Dennis Dunphy of the Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation, Cap wanted to figure out how the Power Broker gave many of those wrestlers super-strength, and to maybe find something in their files on Super-Patriot, but he had been drugged by Dr. Malus, who tried to kill Cap in the strength-enhancing machine, but was saved by Dennis, in his new identity of "Demolition Man," or D-Man for short. D-Man then offered to make Malus give Cap strength equal to Super-Patriot, but Cap passes...and wonders if he was making the right choice. (Cap seemed somewhat pensive around this stretch, and appeared to be questioning a lot of his calls.) He then questions his decision again, as the goons of the Sweat Shop arrive: the Power Broker's super-strong...moving men? Maybe they had other skills, they all had matching jumpsuits and toolbelts. (The GCD notes, all the goons were named after SCTV actors or characters!)

D-Man had left to pick up lunch, and was dismayed to find trucks in front of the building when he returned. Passing himself off as "Deliveryman," he tests a theory by giving the goon on guard a flick, that would've sent a normal guy flying; and realizes these guys were augmented as well. The Sweat Shop guys seemed to have no fighting training, though: while D-Man kayos the guard, then smashes a truck into the building, Cap was able to avoid them but was having trouble knocking them out. After Cap knocks one off a pipe in the boiler room, the goons decide to work smarter rather than harder, and just put a big lump of machinery in front of the door: "He likes the boiler room so much, he can have have it." Those goons then find D-Man had beat maybe five of them already, but jumped and outnumbered, he gets knocked out. Loading up what they could before the cops show, the Sweat Shop takes D-Man with them.

In the boiler room, Cap was stuck with Malus, and a gas leak: even if the cops showed, Cap wasn't sure they'd be able to hear him or move that machinery, so he was going to have to figure a way out. Finding a hollow-sounding point, Cap smashes his way through a drain covering, so they could escape through the sewers. Malus seems reluctant to do so, eventually admitting he--er, the Power Broker, that is--had dumped the deformed, brain-damaged failures of the augmentation process down there. (I remember an old gaming module recapping this, it wasn't a 100% certainty to get powers!) Meanwhile, across the country at Avengers' Mansion, two familiar-looking feds (Jake and Elwood? Hmm.) get trapped by the security system, but are freed by Miss Captain Marvel. They tell her Cap needed to contact them, on a matter of national security; a phrase still trotted out by the government to do whatever they wanted to do, to this day.

Beaten up some more to keep him down, D-Man is brought before the shadowy Power Broker and unmasked: PB recognizes him, but doesn't want to waste the investment by just killing him. After all, research and development could always "use another expendable." Back in the sewers, the aforementioned augment failures attack, jumping Cap: Malus takes the opportunity to flee, squeezing through a grate they wouldn't be able to follow him though. One waves Cap's shield around, while another tries to strangle him in the sewer waters...to be continued! 

D-Man is legitimately a cool guy and one of Cap's bravest sidekicks, but after a stretch where he had been amnesiac and stuck in the arctic, he was reduced to the default characteristic of "stinky." It didn't help that he got sent to live in the sewers with the Morlocks--actually, that would've improved his street credibility, he was sent to live in the sewers and take care of the Zero People. Although his stench was an admittedly kind of funny joke around Busiek and Perez's Avengers #1, Cap still checks in on him there. Go look at D-Man on the Marvel Database, and just about every plotline or appearance he had after that was just dumping on the guy. I mean, winning a pie-eating contest was a highlight for him. He served in Iraq, was denied as Luke Cage's nanny, was a "Revenger" with Wonder Man, turned into the new Scourge (which technically got him an action figure, even if it's not recognizable as either D-Man or Scourge) and was maybe killed and brought back but is a vampire now. Sigh. Look, if you don't like a character, maybe just don't use him?

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Cue up the "why would you say something so controversial" meme, but Ann Nocenti is my favorite Daredevil writer by a country mile, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. But, when did I start buying her run myself; since I'm pretty sure I was reading a friend's for quite a while. Which gets me to today's book, where the cover was very familiar, but opening it up I had no recollection of reading this one! From 1987, Daredevil #244, "Touch Me" Written by Ann Nocenti, pencils by Louis Williams, inks by Tony DeZuniga.

Shoot, I'm not sure I've read the previous issue now either, but Karen Page recaps the hell out of it here: clutching Matt's red glove, she laments that she killed him...maybe. She had been developing a complex: the same hands that Matt used to lovingly caress her, were also the ones he used to beat the snot out of bad guys. Karen admits she had wanted his hands clean, figuratively, although probably also literally; and had been nagging him to give up the violence. Now left holding his bloody glove, she felt responsible. But, not that far away, Matt was waking up in a pile of rubble, after getting the snot beat out of him, by some kind of voodoo creature. Missing his mask, he improvises one out of strips--keeping his eyes uncovered, which I don't think he usually bothers to do--but also notices that not only was his glove missing, that hand didn't work. Still, the creature had a distinctive stench, that Matt would be able to follow...just as soon as he could move.

With few leads, Karen brings in young junkie Eric, and cop Bucko Leary, who both want to bring down dealer Danny Guitar. Guitar was using a combination of "bad drugs" and voodoo threats to build an army, and was going to hit a warehouse that night for more troops; but he wasn't doing great himself, as we see in a three-page sequence where he sweatily remembers freaking out in a voodoo ceremony in Haiti and running away to New York. That feels like Nocenti was trying to make Guitar a victim himself--just about everybody in her run has been hurt bad by someone or something--but also doesn't seem especially culturally sensitive. Just like there's more than mummies to Egypt, Haiti wasn't all voodoo: the art was nice, but I wonder if this was researched more than re-watching Live and Let Die. (When I was young, and my heart was an open book--no, stop that!) Shirtless and painted, Guitar robs some fellow dealers for cash to flee further; putting his faith in the gun and seemingly not even realizing he had been marked.

The voodoo priestess's Nameless One had "dragged (Guitar's) apartment back to the ritual ground," and also advises that Daredevil--Matt--now believes his fists are useless: they had divined his secret name, and as such had power over him. But having no name, his power couldn't be taken; although the priestess tells him to wear DD's mask: "Wear the cloth of a man of courage, and you steal his courage." (Maybe Nocenti did do some research!) At the warehouse, Guitar is alone, and the cops actually capture him alive, shooting him through the hand: Leary had wanted to show up Daredevil, and brags even as Karen begs him to find DD. The Nameless One then strikes, first from the shadows, then in the open; just rolling through the cops. When he grabs Karen, she notices he was carrying the mask (somewhere...) and grabs it; just in time for Daredevil to arrive! He takes a bit of thumping, before Karen can give him the mask back--and more importantly, her faith. 

After a lengthier fight than we see here, Daredevil defeats the Nameless One, which then dissolves. Guitar is left seemingly catatonic, as if scared to silence, possibly forever. Later, Matt wonders if he should've been involved in this one at all: would the Nameless One have just done its business, then left? Karen then tells Matt, she understands he only uses his fists to save lives. As they embrace, the voodoo priestess and the Nameless One watch from a distance, and think they may meet again, possibly as allies. Not yet, anyway! Also, if I was a less-trusting soul, I would wonder if this wasn't building up Matt and Karen, for a bigger fall: we were coming up on the first appearance of Typhoid Mary in DD #254.

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This guy was afraid he couldn't take a bleeding, unconscious Tarzan: it's good to be aware of your limitations.

We saw the previous issue some time back, but I'm mostly just randomly grabbing these to see Big John Buscema go to town. From 1977, Tarzan #5, "La Seeks Vengeance!" From the original story "Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar" by Edgar Rice Burroughs, adapted and edited by Roy Thomas, pencils by John Buscema, inks by Tony DeZuniga.

This was part 5 of the "Jewels of Opar" adaptation, which seems long but wasn't done here, either. At this point, deserter and murderer Albert Werper was just about to stab the unconscious--and amnesiac and savage--Tarzan, before he starts to fret that if he doesn't one-shot the ape man, he'd get torn to shreds. Werper decides to skip out with the jewels: later, Tarzan notices the "white man" took his "pretty stones," and plans to find and murder him; right after a little nap. Werper continues weaseling through the plot: he meets up with the slavers that had captured Jane, but then has to flee when the slavers realize he had the jewels.

The injured Mugambi finally catches up to try and rescue Jane, but she was already gone: the head slaver thinks Werper had taken her, but she might have just escaped herself. You'll have to wait for the next issue...which I don't have. Meanwhile, Tarzan gets into a standoff with a pride of lions, that is broken up by a rhino: I don't know if this is a Burroughs line or Thomas's, but the narration points out that fight was super-cool and most people would rattle on about it the rest of their lives, while Tarzan's already about forgotten it. But, Tarzan is then jumped by the Sacred Apes, who bring him before the steamingly furious La of Opal, who wants the sacrificial dagger back: even if he had his memory, Tarzan might not have even known about that being gone, Werper might have stolen the dagger behind his back. Tarzan does maybe get the gist from the tone of her voice, though.

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I do enjoy how the quarter bin can still surprise me: even though we've seen other issues from this series, I hadn't seen this one! Even the cover didn't ring any bells. From 1995, Warlock and the Infinity Watch #37, "Body..." Written by John Arcudi, pencils by Patrick Olliffe, inks by Keith Williams.

On a distant alien planet, Harkort, a young boy with an unfortunate name (that's fun to yell!) is scolded by his mother, for goofing off with an unusual staff he had found...found next to a body; that of Firelord! Who looks appropriately sad, with his fire out. Meanwhile, back on earth, it had been, what, four issues now since Warlock defeated Count Abyss but lost his potion-caused love Maya, and Warlock was still moping? He had enough willpower, to keep from torturing himself by using the Orb of Eternity to see what Maya was up to; but then at first doubts he's really seeing the appearance of Firelord's soul, who had followed his murderer to earth.

The rest of the Watch is not particularly sensitive or supportive of Warlock in his troubled time--Maxam accuses Gamora of still being hung up on him, but Adam doesn't appear to return her attention, as he has Pip teleport them all--to Pittsburgh? (Having a weird Mandela effect/flash of senility here, because I think I usually spell it wrong, with no 'h' at the end!) In a tough bar, an out-of-place looking man is buying the beer, and acts like he has no idea when Warlock accuses him of murder. The toughs, to their credit, ask if the guy murdered a woman or a kid or something; Warlock, completely missing the point, says no, he killed a brave and mighty warrior. Which clears the way for a brawl...a remarkably ill-advised brawl. Gamora could easily beat up everyone in the building, up to and including her teammates; but both Drax and Maxam were Hulk-sized characters and nobody should be in a rush to punch it up with them.

A subplot continues, as within the Soul Gem, Kray-Tor had been traumatized back in the Count Abyss storyline, and may have been plotting to leave the peaceful world within the Gem. On the alien planet, the locals had decided Firelord must have been some kind of king, and begin preparing his funeral as such. (I'm betting cremation, to re-ignite him!) And the bad guy reveals himself, after trying to befriend and beguile Drax: it's Zakaius! Who announces himself like his name should mean something to us, but this was his first appearance! It's a traditional mystic-style look, very un-90's: no pouches or straps or anything. The fight, and the issue, end as a gas tanker explodes: the driver had the sense to hightail it when he saw the fight headed towards him. 

Gotta admit, I wasn't expecting Firelord to be dead (or, 'dead') right out of the gate here. It took a long time for this to occur to me, but did Firelord even know Warlock? Have we ever seen them together? Because that makes it weird that Firelord would go to him all "Avenge me" to Warlock. Unless it wasn't personal, and Firelord just came to him based on the Infinity Gems and/or Warlock's general rep of cosmic busybody.

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"Dane."

I still don't think Nightcrawler has met the Black Knight in comics, but like seven years back we saw Kurt vs. Dane. If it seems like Dane is getting the short end of it here, you're probably right; but this is the second--no, the third released!--Black Knight figure (from a two-pack with Sersi) and Hasbro still hasn't really done him justice? The head on this figure looks like he just smelt something awful and is furious about it. And I didn't realize until looking at that OAFE review again: the new figure only comes with one head, and it's actually one from the previous figure, which had three! One being his ancestor Sir Percy, the other being a more friendly neutral expression but with big bat wings on the helmet. That said, I'm glad they've never tried to do a removable helmet: it's pretty thin, and would either look awful or the unmasked head would be woefully undersized to accommodate it. 

 I might not love either Black Knight figure, but the Ebony Blades aren't bad! Traditionally swords don't change their looks, but here we are. Wait, the new figure only came with his lightsab--er, "photon sword." The fancier Blade Dane is using is from the even older Brood wave Black Knight. Man, good on Dane for getting three figures, but none of them are quite there. The other Black Knight was from Fortnite, and I just had to get up and take a look at him: there was a McFarlane version, but this one was from Jazwares and thus more in scale for around here. Say it with me: every time I have an action figure from a game I don't play, drink! Oh, and sadly, the Ebony Blade may currently be destroyed in Marvel continuity, which does seem to happen from time to time: Doctor Doom may have suggested it was too dangerous to be left out there, but that may have been self-serving, as the Blade could slice through his armor.

We might not be done with Dane yet, although I want to swap that head out, just so he doesn't seem so sour all the time.

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Weird plasticine smell from this comic!

Every so often I find a book in the cheap bins, that I'm positive has to be a mistake. I'll usually ask to make sure, if I'm at a proper comic shop; but at EntertainMart? Nope! Yoink! Grabbed this one and hauled right off with it. From 1988, Gumby's Winter Fun Special #1, written by Steve Purcell, art by Arthur Adams.

Somehow, I was never exposed to Gumby as a kid? This comic would've been towards the tailend of Gumby's 80's revival, post-Eddie Murphy and Saturday Night Live. The only short I know I've watched was a 50's one, "Robot Rumpus," because it was on Mystery Science Theater 3000! ("Just work the lumps, Mike!")

Art Adams is doubtless the big draw for this one...man, he was huge then, this feels like a very weird book for him to do; but he won an Eisner for Best Single Issue for Gumby's Summer Fun Special the year before with Bob Burden. The Gumby books are mentioned in Adams's Wikipedia page under "Diversification and experimentation!" But, I'm glad to have Winter Fun, because of Steve Purcell, of Sam & Max fame. (You can see a toy lagomorph--er, rabbit-shaped thing, and a dog with a very distinctive hat in one panel!)

This issue, after an explosion at the toy mine, Gumby and Pokey try to help the trapped miners, which leads to meeting the mole people, and being sent on a mission to Heck to rescue Roy Crabbe, aka Santa Claus! Giant kaiju monsters and mail-away prizes are both involved. And, for good measure, I scanned the back cover so you can make the little diorama! That oughta keep you busy for a bit; don't use the good scissors. Read more!