"Breather."

It occurs to me that neither Matt nor Peter would get surprised like that, but Elektra and Kurt totally could!

This one is mostly just me playing with some new set-pieces: the mailbox, and in the background, a pay phone! Both were pretty cheap from Temu, and for a change, scaled about right! (I also sprung for a mini arcade machine, that came not 1/12 but closer to 3 3/4 inch scale: it would probably go well with classic G.I. Joes or Star Wars figures.) They were both pretty solid, and balanced well even with Kurt climbing all over it. 

Elektra is referring to one I think we've mentioned but--hey, we did scan it! From Mark Millar/Terry and Rachel Dodson's Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #1, where during a brutal fight with the Green Goblin, Spidey takes an onlooker's advice, and clobbers him with a mailbox. The onlooker is then appalled: "I didn't think you were gonna, like, brain-damage him." It's a solid hit that looked like it meant business: you see like the Hulk or the Thing rip up lampposts and swat somebody with 'em, but those seem like they would launch them, like a baseball hit by a bat. This mailbox, though, seems like a hammer in comparison. I forget if Elektra's ever actually met Norman: if you knew him, you no doubt would probably want to see him hurt real bad; but I think she also just appreciates solid work. Sadly, in comparison to Legends, the mailbox here weighs a ton; I don't think I could even pose Dragon Man swinging it...or could I? Hmm.

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A Legionnaire is going to what, Nura? I didn't catch that last part.

I wasn't sure if I still had this--OK, I probably do--and I also probably could've bought the better formatting out of the same dollar bin, but this was where I started. Or close to it! From 1985, Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes #326, reprinting 1984's Legion of Super-Heroes #1, "Here a Villain, There a Villain..." Plot and story by Paul Levitz, plot and pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Larry Mahlstedt.

This was the point where Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes (formerly Legion of Super-Heroes, formerly Superboy & the Legion of Superheroes, formerly Superboy...) became a reprint title, for the direct-market Baxter paper Legion of Super-Heroes. I had read some old issues at a relative's years prior, and I think I had maybe been reading the Best of DC Legion reprint digests for a bit, so why not hop on here? Unfortunately, for this issue at least, I'm don't think the print quality was as good as the Baxter series: I'm pretty sure my old copy has the same error as the start of the post, where Dream Girl predicts that a Legionnaire was going to die. (You could probably guess from the context!)

On a mysterious world, in a thunderstorm, Lightning Lord makes a solemn pledge over a Mayan-looking stone tablet, with the incongruous symbols for the Legionnaires on it, to kill a Legionnaire. Namely, his brother, Lightning Lad; but he wasn't the only one taking a vow there, as the Legion of Super-Villains had made a big membership push: for a long time, the LSV had been Lightning Lord, Cosmic King, and Saturn Queen; with Saturn Queen reforming in one of the "Adult Legion" stories in Superman. This issue alone, the LSV recruits Micro Lad, teleporting him away after catching a long-deserved beating by Shrinking Violet: they had history! The retired Light Lass (Lightning Lad's twin sister) is captured by Radiation Roy (he catches flak for his name later in the story!) while on the prison world Takron-Galtos, a team of Legionnaires is called in to stop a massive prison break, led by Daxamite kid-slash-Darkseid worshipper Ol-Vir. Mon-El seems ready to beat the stuffing out of the brat, but Ol-Vir and several other criminals, are teleported away...(I don't recall if he's seen directly in the Great Darkness Saga, but Ol-Vir either never broke Darkseid's hold on him, or was a psychopath before then.) 

This issue reads just fine coming in relatively cold, but is chock full of continuity for those who had been reading for a while: I wouldn't realize until much later, but several of the LSV's new members were former Legion applicants, from Superboy #212 in 1975! (I feel like a lot of the LSV members were former tryouts! Feelings could have been hurt, and the LSV may be more accepting.) But, if this issue had clues as to where the LSV was, or what Legionnaire was doomed; I hadn't been reading long enough to get those yet. (I don't think I read any stories with said doomed Legionnaire, until his last!)

Bonus: from Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes #325, here's the bespoke subscription ad for the Baxter book, with art by Dan Jurgens and Karl Kesel. I'm used to Marvel's generic, linewide sub ads, rather than the specific ones DC used to do, usually with the heroes directly addressing the reader: "Buy my book! Everyone else can shift for themselves..."

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Feels like drawing a busted straight, but we'll bluff through this post.

I'm not sure I've ever run into this before: from a dollar bin, I pulled what I thought would be issues #1 through #5 of a mini-series. Instead, I got 6, 12, 8, 19, and 15! (shrugs) And yet, here we are. From 2017, Joe Golem: the Outer Dark #1, written by Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden, art by Patric Reynolds.

Now, I'm a long-time Mignola collector, but I hadn't read any of this series; because I read the novel and it was too sad! (We mentioned getting the novel, Joe Golem and the Drowning City, about 13 years back!) Joe was a detective, in an alternate universe with a partially flooded New York City; and as the name implies he was a golem, made of clay and brought to life. He might not know all of that for most of the story, though; as this one starts with a flashback to the year 1454, where the golem's creators briefly discuss whether or not they should have created him, before apparently getting got by vampire-like monsters. (The golem had been told it couldn't move without permission, and they didn't have the chance to give it...) In 1967, Joe only remembers that as a nightmare, which neither his girlfriend Lori nor his landlord/mentor Mr. Church have been able to help him with. Church had been a go-to guy for the NYPD for weird cases, but now passed those along to Joe. Lucky him, as the cops come with an odd one: on a water taxi, a German throws a fit, says he hears voices, and kills two people with his bare hands as his eyes turn black, and full of stars? He had been accompanied by two other men, one a former Nazi that was killed in the ensuing shoot-out, the other escaped.

Joe and Detective Weston track down the third man, who with no prompting, tells them where the apparatus would be. They aren't sure what that means, nor what the man means about not wanting to hear the voices, or see the new world: he leaps out the window to his death, but not before mentioning the mysterious "they" knew Joe would come...

Shoot, there were maybe a total of 20 issues of Joe Golem, spread across several mini-series, starting with Joe Golem in 2015. That's the indicia title, but the covers have "The Rat Catcher" 1-3 for the first three, then "The Sunken Dead" 1-2 for issues #4-5. Similarly, the next series was "the Outer Dark" for the first three, then "Flesh and Blood" for the last two. Then the adaptation of the Drowning City, and finally the Conjurors. I just grabbed about a quarter of the whole run, yet still think I might have to get an omnibus to read the rest! I'm digging it so far, although I'm pretty sure there's a tragic turn coming there: not unlike Mignola and Golden's other collaboration, Baltimore, you don't have a lot of hope for a happy ending; and unlike Hellboy they seem to know it. Read more!

"Rosebud" has always seemed hideously unsafe; I love it so much.

Every so often on BlueSky, someone will start another round of "what's your hot take" on comics in general, or even the Fantastic Four in particular. And my take may or may not be 'hot,' but it's objectively correct: Karl Kesel and Adam Warren should both have gotten to write the main book for much longer than they did. Of course, I'm assuming they were never offered the full-time gig, or that they would take it: Warren in particular might not be suited for a monthly grind. He should be able to come out of leftfield with stuff like this more often, though: from 2024, Venom War: Fantastic Four #1, "He Who Schemes & the Five-Minute Eternity" Written by Adam Warren, art by Joey Vazquez. Cover by David Baldeón; although now I'm mad I don't have the Walt Simonson variant!

The story opens with a skirmish between symbiote 'Rascal' (the Red Goblin suit, on little Normie Osborn!) against 'proto-symbiote' Flexo; but this is really fifth--or fiftieth--dimensional chess, between Kang the Conqueror and Doctor Doom! Kang narrates, setting the scene with Doom's "algorithmic means of mass scheme generation," namely a Doombot think-tank with weekly pitch sessions; which is of course laughably inferior to Kang's own "chronolooped mind-state" that he called "He Who Schemes." In fact, this time around, rather than leave things in the ape-like hands of one of those regular Kangs in real-time, HWS is running his own show, with "weaponized time-loops," and a secret weapon: the Fantastic Four! They had been kept trapped in a time-loop, that kept repeating and erasing their memories; enabling HWS to trick them into various missions. As Doom travels back in time to use Ovoid mind-control on Flexo, HWS keeps setting the FF on him, keeping him from doing a proper job of it, giving Rascal the upper hand...

The Rascal/Flexo fight isn't even a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, but HWS knows losing it will just gall Doom, which kinda makes it worth doing! But Reed has perhaps realized, that he and his team had been stuck in a loop; and they might get more information--from Castle Doom! Reed pulls another trick that probably wouldn't always work: stretching his vocal cords, to match Doom's, to override his Doombots. (The trick is just to commit to the bit, really sell Doom's ego!) And then the big one: taking the fight to HWS, who Reed describes to the Four as "a lesser Kang variant" delighting in his own cleverness but not as hands-on as most Kangs. After a brief fight--where HWS uses 'Kang' as a modifier seemingly a dozen times--HWS and the Doombots are trapped in their own 5-second loop, while the Rascal/Flexo fight ends with them both themselves again. This version of the Fantastic Four then doesn't really know where they're going to end up, but as always are willing to chance it.

This has not-a-lot to do with whatever the main plot--probably not even much with the side plots--for Venom War, and you know I'm always on board with the crossover events that are more like somebody got really lost either on their way there or their way back. Absolutely recommended! Read more!

Maybe Olivier will defend the trademark on that skull better than Marvel/Disney has. Maybe he won't...

OK, so I mentioned reading the first issue of this one, just over a year ago, and I'm just getting around to reading them all now? And I'm not 100% sure I haven't read it before--or maybe I've just read the first issue more than once. From 1999, the Punisher #4, "Purgatory, part 4: the Hour of Judgement" Written by Christopher Golden and Tom Sniegoski, pencils by Bernie Wrightson, inks by Jimmy Palmiotti.

The conclusion to the four-issue Marvel Knights 'Angel' Punisher mini, which begins with Frank and the angel Gadriel captured by the demon Olivier, who thinks Frank might know him better by his former human identity, Boss Costa. 'Costa' had been behind the killing in Central Park, a blood sacrifice that led to the deaths of Frank's family; but he was also a devil, forced out of Hell to live as a human, and playing the long game to get back in. He had orchestrated the creation of the Punisher, insuring every kill was a sacrifice to him, even his own: Frank murdering 'Costa' put Olivier back in Hell as his old self. Gadriel wasn't blameless in this, either: he had been demoted multiple times, finally to the position of Frank's "guardian angel," and we can all agree his job performance there wasn't sparkling. Worse, Gadriel hadn't been there when Olivier's demons forced Frank to kill himself, but had resurrected him, since he couldn't get back into Heaven unless Frank forgave him. Typing all that, it does feel like a lot to bolt onto a perfectly servicable origin: "They killed his family. Now he kills them." Simple! Although, Olivier is a clever bit of design, with the skull-motif on his face, to make it seem like it was, to misquote the Omen, "all for him!" (Yeah, tell all the cops and chuds co-opting the skull that it's a Satanist symbol; see what that does for anybody...)

This is maybe to set up a new mission for Frank, more about redemption than vengeance. Yeah, that stuck even less than the angel stuff. Daimon Hellstrom and Dr. Strange both make brief appearances in the end, planning to keep an eye on the Punisher for their own purposes; and while Wrightson is great, neither looks quite right? It's kind of a minimalist Strange that makes him look like some kind of...opera pervert; while Hellstrom looks like a redheaded Fabio. Also, a devil or two escaped, presumably for use in future stories, but the 'Angel' Punisher only had one left, the Wolverine/Punisher: Revelation mini. I'm not sure, and kind of doubt, it wrapped up all the loose ends, but maybe. Read more!

"Investigate."

Probably my personal favorite Fantastic Four run is the all-too-short Walt Simonson era, which guest-stars Thor and Iron Man for a few, until oops, they lose them in the time stream on their way home. (FF #341! Get it.) Reed seems to shrug it off, since on TV they see the guys, so they assume they made it home too, but he's wrong about something there...Anyway it was a long trip even if it took no relative time and everyone's tired, so they all hit the sack! Deal with them later...I feel like Reed probably tries to underline the seriousness of it, but Ben, and Johnny, and possibly even Sue, are all ridiculously blasé about time-travel; but Reed only has himself to blame there. (Sue might feign concern for Reed's benefit, but...) 

I believe Howard was a private investigator in his most recent series, if not elsewhere. And P.I.'s are supposed to be licensed and bonded, although that is mostly a Simpsons reference, going back to "Mr. Plow." Death's Head is right, though: I don't see anyone asking him for anything, if they can help it.  

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The cover of this one was moderately doodled on, but we won't let that keep us from some Bob Haney craziness! From 1975, World's Finest #234, "The Family That Fled Earth" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by John Calnan.

Both Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne had been on the scene, for the launch of the experimental "Star-Home." Wayne Industries had done some of the engineering contracts, while Clark was reporting for WGBS-TV. Star-Home was intended to be a test of self-sustaining life-support equipment, with a crew of androids called the "Robinsons," but instead the passengers were project head Dr. Lucas and his wife and son, getting off earth while the getting was good. The ground control chief wants to bring them back, but Bruce wonders if they aren't pioneers. Since Lucas had disabled any remote access, Superman is asked to bring them back, with Batman going along; and they agree with Lucas! After speaking with him, they didn't feel like they had the right to interfere with their pursuit of happiness. Batman wonders if they were making the right choice, but Superman assures him he could get them later if needed. But, after the heroes leave, the Lucas family finds a man, floating outside Star-Home, without a spacesuit but still alive...

Yeah, it's a Bob Haney joint; the rest of the issue reads like a fever dream, but keeps you interested: you can probably guess where it ends but not how it gets there! I thought DC had reprinted more of Haney's stuff, but not this story, anyway. Read more!