"Whizzer."

I forget how exactly Peter Parker climbs walls now, if it's weird little hairs or static electricity or.something else. But Spider-Man 2099 had little claws from the get-go: they are sharp as hell and pretty effective weapons, even if Miguel is understandably squeamish about slicing anyone up like that. That said, I can't remember offhand what, if anything, the arm spikes do or are for. 

We keep seeing the Elders refer to each other by name rather than title, which is a weird callback to old Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe issues. I don't think Ego had another name, but he wouldn't have been part of another race at some point like the other guys. I thought the Champion's real name was 'Tycho' and not Tryco Slatterus, though. The Collector, Taneleer Tivan, does have a daughter, Carina: I was thinking of her since she's an NPC in Contest of Champions, but she was Korvac's girlfriend back in the day!    

Read more!

Because it's been 100 years since I've played Maximum Carnage, I couldn't recall if Carrion was in the game--a brief aside--oh, who am I kidding, this whole blog is nothing but asides, maybe eventually it'll loop back around to a point--never get rid of old game systems! I should've horded my old ColecoVision, NES, Sega Genesis...Anyway, Carrion: out of Carnage's little found (Manson) family, he's the only one that hasn't got an action figure; which is mildly odd since he would complete the set and I'm pretty sure most of the parts are there for him. On the other hand, he's a creepy ghoul made creepier by his origin, which was retconned mid-stream and then again multiple times since! There's no hint of that here--or is there?--unless you count the title, which I thought was just a riff on a song I don't particularly like. From 1978, Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #25, "Carrion, My Wayward Son!" Written by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Jim Mooney, inks by Frank Springer.

This was Carrion's first appearance, and he's already waving a Spider-Man mask around: I was mildly curious where he would've got that, since he couldn't just go to a store or anything. No shirt, no service! He's making a pitch to the Mafia er, Maggia; and maybe even wrote up a little proposal, to kill Spider-Man; but I'm not sure what Carrion actually wanted from them? Financial backing, maybe? Some goons? Lunches? The current Maggia boss, Big M, the Masked Marauder, votes no; but also that Carrion knew too much about their activities, and would have to die. Some of the aforementioned goons surround him, and probably could've destroyed Carrion if they had called his 'pouch' a murse instead. From that, Carrion throws "Red Death" dust at them, killing several, then also displays other powers, like seeming intangibility and levitation. (Carrion's carry-on bag seems familiar, like the Green Goblin's...) Big M thinks Carrion could be a threat to him, and Carrion disappears, "leaving behind the stench of brimstone--" Hey, don't steal from Nightcrawler!

Meanwhile, Spidey himself was having almost a midlife crisis, with all his usual problems like Aunt May in the hospital, Mary Jane turned down his proposal, he didn't graduate with the rest of his class, and there were new heroes on the scene (Nova!) that were the age he was when he started. How long could he stay Spider-Man, with no teammates to back him up like that scrub Johnny Storm? It feels like they might have been trying to either get him some back-up, or more likely spin-off another book, as White Tiger gets three pages next; before Big M, his "expendable" thugs, and his robot start robbing a bank. (Everyone knows the thugs are expendable, even the thugs; but don't tell them that!) Spidey is surprised by the robot's transformation from a bird-drone form to humanoid (not like a Transformer, more like it just changes) then gets zapped by the Masked Marauder's "opti-blasts," blinding him! To be continued...in some issues that are going to be tougher to find, since they guest-star Daredevil, and Frank Miller did the art for PP,TSSM #27 and breakdowns for #28. (Two odd coincidences: Daredevil #158 was Miller's first, and it featured Death-Stalker, another villian with intangibility; and both PP,TSSM #27 and DD #158 had Dave Cockrum covers!)

I think Carrion is pushed a bit to the side for the next two issues, like he spends them lurking about, or maybe monologues about how he can't kill Spidey yet because he wants him to see it coming. Or, he might have been punted out a couple more issues, since Marv Wolfman maybe pushed back on Mantlo's original plan for Carrion: he was going to be the desiccated clone of Peter Parker, using the gear of the then-dead Green Goblin! Well, his bag, at least. So, before it got that far, Carrion was changed to be merely a clone of Miles Warren, the Jackal. Fine. Except, a later retcon in Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #8 claimed that Warren never achieved true cloning, since how would he have transferred memories to the clones? Instead he had created a virus that could change a person to a genetic copy of someone else...oh, that's way simpler. I think the idea was that cloning would've been beyond Warren, and the virus story explains away the Gwen Stacy clone as an innocent girl who got 'jacked into it; but it creates other problems: were Carrion, and Ben Reilly, and Kaine, all people before getting altered? And none of that explains how Carrion, who looks like an angry corpse, got powers completely unrelated to anything: intangibility, flight, teleportation? He's a mess and of course there's been like three other versions of him, because comics. Read more!

A good chunk of this one is the Rogue-shaped hole in everyone's lives...which, OK, fair.

Huh, I didn't think this one was that recent. From 2025, What If...? Galactus Transformed Rogue? #1, written by Ann Nocenti, art by Stephen Byrne.

This is set earlier in the continuity than you would figure: sometime after Fantastic Four #50, although the Surfer is Galactus's herald again at the start; and well before Avengers Annual #10 or what would've been Rogue's first appearances in Ms. Marvel. Young Rogue finds the fallen Surfer, recently again discharged from his job for having the temerity to try to steer Galactus to worlds without intelligent life. Charged with the power cosmic from kissing the Surfer, Rogue knows the score right away, and takes off into space, probably forever.

Rogue is seemingly then chosen, or more accurately conscripted, as Galactus's new herald; but she isn't real impressed with the new powers, costume, cosmic grandeur: she sees "Big G" as a toddler with no impulse control. Attempting to get out of the job by being bad at it, she takes him to a planet seemingly infested with dragons, which trouble Galactus for about a panel: he could see in her mind, and she needed to know her place. Swatted like a bug, Rogue crashes through the Watcher's house, and he gives her some advice, while seemingly sweeping ants out of his place. (Moon ants!) He suggests challenging Galactus, not directly, but with wit. Galactus lets her touch him, to see what the universe would be like if he didn't eat planets: namely, backsliding into the Big Bang; but he does grant her a boon. Rogue chooses, saving at least two from every planet Galactus destroys, a "Celestial Ark." Galactus agrees, but seemingly because he knows selecting who would live and who would die would change her...and Rogue wonders, about the possible life, love, and family she was leaving behind on earth. 

Pretty good, but I thought Galactus was already doing the ark thing? Or maybe more like Superman's zoo, just a few interesting specimens. I was thinking of ROM #26, but that looks like more saving some culture than any people.

Read more!

I no longer worry about death, I had some haggis...

Entirely possible I have three of these, but I'll always always always buy these from the cheap bins: from 1992, Bill & Ted's Excellent Comic Book #9, "It's a Living?" Story and art by Evan Dorkin, inks by Marie Severin.

The titular duo are enjoying a most bodacious afternoon with their wives and kids, but a visit to Pretzels-n-Cheese goes heinously awry thanks to new trainee Death, who was broke and had to take another job to cover his rent and his outstanding Monopoly debt to Bill and Ted. (Who were mega-rock stars and wouldn't care, but Death had principles.) A cheese-squeezing incident gets him canned; worse, Death was also behind on his rounds, and while collecting the soul of a sad Frenchman who died, in a hilarious retelling of a classic urban legend; Death meets his replacement, Morty! In typical 90's fashion, Morty has both an 8-ball jacket, and zero sympathy for others; so he gets a lot of laughs out of assorted, admittedly funny, recently departeds. Like Death in the Seventh Seal and Bogus Journey, Morty does give the dead the chance to challenge for their soul, but does so with "three card Dante!" A sucker's bet!

Forced into retirement, Death decides to look for a new job, to have something to do; and fails miserably, but amusingly. He even gets fired drawing "Major Violence" comics...OK, that one might be with cause; but Bill admits they've bought worse comics. On a final training session with Morty, Death finally gets fed up with his flippant attitude towards the dead, and demands an inquest to fight for his job. In the Marvel U. this would bring in like Eternity and Infinity and Master Order and Lord Chaos, those guys; but Dorkin has his own! War, Fate, Nature, and Time Thumb in for Chronos. Can Death beat Morty in a reaping contest...?

Man, I'm not even sure I have this whole series, which feels like another fate worse than death. Maybe I still have time... Read more!

I have had haggis since, but couldn't tell you if it was a proper one, or if it made me brave.

I thought this could be the secret origin of something for me, but maybe 'haggis' came up in these comics more often than you'd guess: from 1990, Donald Duck #278, featuring "Mystery of the Loch" Story and art by Carl Barks. Reprinted from Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #v20#9 (237) from 1960.

After saving up 500 box tops of "Icky Qwickies" brand cereal--man, I already know you guys are gonna have a field day with that name; it seems like something some ad guy would be pleased as punch to come up with in the 50's, then in the late 80's they have to change the name to "Bran Skrotes" or something. Actually, they don't call it 'cereal,' just "the dynamic breakfast food," it could be a suppository for all we know--where were we? Huey, Dewie, and Louis cash their box tops in at the supermarket, for a choice of prizes. Hell, I eat a lot of cereal, and I don't think the box tops are even recyclable nowadays; we need to bring back those contests and promos and crap. Given a choice of premium items, the boys pick an underwater camera; unfortunately they do so just as Uncle Donald is reading about great wonders of the world that had never been photographed. Such as, the Loch Ness monster! Despite being trundled off to Scotland in record time, getting there before they even realize where they were going, the boys are skeptical.

Diving into the dark Scottish loch (Maybe this one? I don't know.) Donald discovers...a ton of other divers with the same get-rich-quick dream. Slightly daunted, Donald figures Nessie hides in caves, and if he could clear out the divers, the beast might appear. Rigging a bunch of life rings together, Donald inflates them all in the midst of the divers, surprising and scattering them. But, his plan works too well, as Donald then gets scared off himself by the Loch Ness monster. Trying to help him recoup some of his losses here, the boys look for a medicine to make Donald brave--and in Scotland, that's called haggis! Either inspired to courage by eating it, or no longer fearing death after eating it, Donald tries again for a picture, noting he sinks like a stone after a bite of haggis. Unfortunately, in short order Donald gets eaten by Nessie; and the boys have to sacrifice their remaining haggis to fish him out. Worse, his story is believed, if not his pictures.

Somehow as a small child I learned the word 'haggis' from a comic, and then asked for it repeatedly at chain restaurants. Would I have eaten it if I'd got it? OK, probably not. But I maybe didn't even learn it from this one, unless I had stumbled across the original comic: there was a digest reprinting in 1969, which didn't seem familiar; but the Western/Gold Key reprint was 1979: I would've been too old then to expect a restaurant to have it. Probably. Still, maybe it wasn't from this story. It may turn up yet! Read more!

"Anticipation."

Ah, where to begin here? So I seem to recall, way back around maybe either the Korvac Saga or the first Contest of Champions, Grandmaster and Collector were referred to as 'brothers.' I may have taken that literally, but it might be more metaphorical, like a lodge brother, in the local Elders of the Universe. I think the Champion was an Elder right from the start; but Ego was a much later addition to the loose group: I need to re-read Steve Englehart's Silver Surfer run, which introduces some more Elders, although none I'd run out and buy the toy of like Champion or Kurt Russell...That run also features one of the Elders' bigger schemes, which alleges the Grandmaster threw the Contest of Champions, to get the Collector back from the realm of Death with intel. I know parts of their plan were 'get blacklisted from dying by Death' and 'kill Galactus for reasons,' but I think there was something even more they were shooting for. On the other hand, in the Thanos Quest the Elders get jobbed, badly; as Thanos collects the Infinity Stones from them. 

Kurt referencing the Avengers--possibly more specifically just Cap--sharing files, which might be a throwback to, I don't know, all the way back to the early 80's or before, when there were like three super-teams, total. (I don't think Cap ever counted the Defenders...) Of course Cap would have notes on how to counter foes; but he was also an artist and could see even him doodling on those. I wonder, has anyone connected Cap and Colossus as artists? While Piotr seems written as like the sensitive soul trying to express himself through paintings; I wonder if Cap isn't a bit more...worksmanlike? Art and drafting might have been one of the few things he could've done, back when he was sickly little Steve Rogers; and would've been maybe a viable career path back then if the Depression and the war hadn't derailed that for him. 

Oh, and I know we've referenced "quatloos" before: they were the betting currency of the Gamesters of Triskelion, in the classic Star Trek episode. It didn't really seem to have any value except as a poker chip; it's probably crypto.  

Read more!

Also, here's a panel where Wave, yells at a wave, I guess.

We did go back and find this concluding issue--I'm not sure I got it where I did the rest of the series, but okay--but we might be kind of hard on it. With dragons, conspiracies, multiple underwater societies, and a grab-bag of assorted superheroes; it was the human element that I don't buy here. From 2021, Atlantis Attacks #5, "Eye of the Storm" Written by Greg Pak, art by Robert Gill and Ario Anindito.

Previously, billionaire Mike Nguyen had taken over Amadeus Cho, and was going to use him to defend his city of Pan, by killing Namor. Nguyen tries to play this off as "no more kings," but the refugees-turned-citizens of Pan are starting to realize he maybe didn't have their best interests in mind. Nguyen denies that, saying money was only a means to an end, and promises to never abandon them; but mind-controlling a Hulk is real super-villain stuff, so...Back in Atlantis, after a bit of posturing and back-biting, everyone has started to realize, they all wanted peace; and maybe you can't blame an entire nation for the actions of one cranky dragon. Talks are interrupted by the incoming Totally Awesome Hulk, but Namor's scientists had discovered Pan's location, so he's able to have him, the Hulk, Shang-Chi, and Sword Master teleported back near Pan. There, Sword Master steps up, to get the mind-controlling crab off of Amadeus. Amadeus is apologetic, but Namor scoffs, he'll soon have something to cry about: the shockwave from the last Hulk punch, had created a tidal wave that would destroy Pan within minutes!

Low on confidence, Amadeus still rushes to try and stop the wave; while the combined Agents of Atlas struggle to get as many people as possible to shelter. And here's where my suspension of disbelief runs out: Nguyen gives his shelter, to a pair of refugees that had been POV characters through the series. I don't see any way a billionaire would've given his life for a kid, even their own kid, unless they had planted their brain inside of them or something. Anyway, the Hulk-slap reduces the effect of the wave, but Nguyen dies.

In the end, Pan is on the way to being recognized as an independent nation; but Amadeus is stinging, feeling used by both Nguyen and Jimmy Woo, and he takes his leave of the Agents. But Woo doesn't have time to dwell on that, since Knull was coming, and next would be King in Black: Namor. Read more!