At first glance, the covers would seem to be the best part of this one, but maybe there's more to it? From 1992, Marvel Comics Presents #99, featuring two Sam Kieth covers: one a Byrne/Austin Wolverine tribute (the classic rising-from-the-sewers panel) and the other Ghost Rider, surrounded by little monsters strongly resembling the Isz from the Maxx!

The Ghost Rider story features those little monsters, D'sprytes, servants of D'spayre--man, that action figure should've included a couple of them! They try to turn innocents against Ghost Rider, but the Spirit of Vengeance doesn't take the bait. (Also, it's weird the bystanders are more concerned about Ghost Rider yelling and waving at nothing they could see, rather than the flaming skull and all.) Later, to try and make something out of that mess, Dan Ketch stops to help a homeless man. ("Fallen Spirits" Written by Dan Slott, art by Jimmy Palmiotti.)

Next, a Spider-Man story--aw, c'mon, he only had like six books at the time! This is more like an old Mr. & Mrs. Superman story; as Mary Jane accidentally leaves for work with a roll of Peter's film in her pocket, that he needed to get to the Bugle to get paid. Spidey is left to scramble after her, struggle through models, stop some random crimes, and MJ takes care of the problem herself. A question: MJ appears to be putting on makeup, before going to a modeling shoot, where she would be made-up again. Does she have to put on, like, walking around makeup? ("Has Anybody Seen My Gal?" Written by Susan Kennedy, pencils by Malcolm Davis, inks by Don Hudson and Andrew Pepoy.)

On the flipside, the usual Wolverine story is treading water a bit, since next month would be a bigger story: Nightmare torments Wolvie, until he wakes up. Felt like a lot of 'tributes,' i.e. swipes, in this one. Still, based on something I saw on BlueSky, I think this story was also included in some Halloween giveaway book. ("Hauntings" Plot by Rob Liefeld, script by Howard Mackie, pencils by Jim Valentino, inks by Bud la Rosa.)

Finally, "Razer's Edge" not only uses Puck's tortured backstory effectively, it also pits him against an unexpected baddie: Arcade, who wants to pull the demon Razer from Puck for his own uses. Unsurprisingly, Razer is not onboard with that, and Arcade is forced to let Puck take it back; although Puck still wants to get his little hands on Arcade for faking Heather's death to traumatize him. (Plot by Raz Mesinai, plot and script by Paula Foye, pencils by Joe Madureira, inks by Joe Rubinstein.)

The little throwaway numbers are the good ones today! Although, again, the covers are probably what anybody remembers. Read more!

TIRED: Legion tryouts are cliquish and a popularity contest. WIRED: Legion tryouts are probably a colossal hassle if you work in the downtown Metropolis area.

I'm not sure I'll stick with it, but the newest Legion of Super-Heroes #1 was an interesting start. No spoilers, but there's a pretty obvious break from previous Legion lore as an integral character appears to have been murdered (or, more accurately, not saved from being murdered...) and the Persuader design (from the Fatal Five) seems to be the template for the cops, instead of the relatively benign Science Police of the past. Actually, the SP's were probably fascist dicks in the Waid/Kitson "Threeboot" version as well; and the new one seems to carry over the younger generation's fascination and reverence for the super-heroes of their past, whether or not they really existed, seemingly based on old comic books and paraphernalia. Also, the new version does get their spin on dark horse fan favorite Matter-Eater Lad in there right away, as maybe the Watson to Brainiac 5's Holmes. M-E Lad is of course, simultaneously a respected teammate, kind of a joke, really silly, and insanely dangerous; but he also went through a stretch reduced to just a support guy. I think he's in this one: from 1996, Legionnaires #43, "New Blood" Script and plot by Roger Stern, plot by Tom McCraw, pencils by Jeff Moy, inks by W.C. Carani and Phil Moy.

Not 100% sure they hadn't had a try-out issue before, post Zero Hour, but it was once again try-out day for the Legion of Super-Heroes, with the press breathlessly covering it like an episode of American Idol, noting that thousands of kids from across the United Planets had shown up to vie for a spot. The two-page spread has a bunch that longtime readers would recognize, like Charma up front, or Giffen-era space cadet Comet Queen and that dick Dev-Em flying; as well as at least four future members of the Legion of Substitute Heroes. (Although, I don't know if the Subs have ever really been re-established in any of the reboots?) Meanwhile, M-E Lad Tenzil Kem is serving up grub for the downbeat Lori Morning, who is grousing about not being eligible, since she didn't have powers. (Maybe! We've seen her before.) Likewise, Tenzil's fellow previous-continuity Legionnaire-turned-support staff guy Chuck (Bouncing Boy) Taine is depressed, that tryouts almost certainly meant building damage, that he'd have to fix.

Outside, the Legion's other support, the alien Athramites, had been trying to sort the applicants; but of course things still get out of hand. Current leader Lightning Lad wonders why he took the job, as one applicant, Braalian Dyrk Mags, makes himself a standout by disarming a misfired weapon. LL then has to break some bad news: only applicants with actual powers would be considered, not those with gear or gadgets. (In-story, the team had a bad experience when one such hero, the original Kid Quantum, had an equipment issue and was killed.) Another Legion tradition continues, as some of those rejected become disgruntled, and join another team; in this case Leland McCauley's Work Force: he had the alluring Spider-Girl (not that one!) onboard already, and she was quite the recruiter for teenage boys. Polar Boy gets shot down there, too: he was shorter, and seen as too young, even as he grouses he can break the laws of thermodynamics, what more do they want? Distracted, he then bumps into a tall, "gorgeous!" girl--she was already tall without her big beehive hair; it's Night Girl! She was super-strong, but it would fade in sunlight, so she got rejected: worse, she'd maybe just come to try and meet Cosmic Boy, who was currently missing in the 20th century. Polar Boy thinks fast: maybe there was something they could do--not like that! Maybe the Subs were coming...Seemingly every reboot after this point has grudgingly acknowledged that Polar Boy's powers were good, although they usually seem to do so by getting rid of his charmingly-doofy fur-lined costume and basically making him Iceman.

The 328th applicant proves interesting: Jeka Wynzorr, of Orlando, capable of creating incredibly realistic illusions. She appears--so to speak--to be a lock, unlike the next applicant, Nura Nal (Dream Girl, in the old continuity!) a narcoleptic pre-cog, who foresees her own rejection, but maybe makes a date with Star Boy...or an ominous prediction, he's not sure. Stone Boy is then rejected, as well as the mystic Dragonmage, who gets a flat 'no' cutoff from Lightning Lad, who didn't want anything to do with magic after recent troubles with the Emerald Eye. With their finalists in place, the team then uses Chameleon Boy to stage an attack: Arm-Fall-Off Boy and the Scooby-Doo like Cannus don't react well, but Dyrk and Tasmia (Shadow Lass!) Mallor step up, as does the surprisingly hands-on Jeka, who reveals she didn't have any: she was actually not a humanoid, but a very large snake, albeit a very charming one with a disturbingly sexy voice. They make the team as Magno, Umbra, and Sensor. (Sensor was a new spin on Princess Projectra, although still a princess; while Magno's term on the team might be a short one...) 

Sensor's redesign made her a rarity on the team, even now: there have been very few non-humanoid, truly alien Legionnaires. We also saw a Tellus-style one in the big crowd shot, he would've been a good pick! Along with Sensor, this version of the team also had Gates; but I'm positive she was more personable than he usually was.

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"Daughter."

"Do you like my sword?" "I do not." I'm positive I stole that cadence from Dr. Seuss's P.D. Eastman's Go, Dog. Go! It's a fun read! 

The OAFE review of Mephisto points out two things I probably should've caught: Mephisto's sword is a version of Excalibur, and that's a reference to Earth X continuity! If I recall, alternate realities are revealed as literally the devil's work, like he was causing them, possibly in the hopes of finding the one where he wins in the end. (Or, at the very least, forestalling judgment.) I'm not sure of the status of the 616's native Excalibur--the sword, anyway. Mephisto may have more jabs about Excalibur, the team... 

The Krakoan soul dilemma, well, that's pretty much fallen by the wayside; not unlike Kurt's soulless status there for a while. (Could he get back into heaven? Unclear, but he doesn't seem to be dwelling upon the issue in-continuity.) I may have mentioned this one before, but don't have it handy: Namor #12, wherein Namorita is a little freaked out since under Atlantean theology, a clone like her wouldn't have a soul. Captain America very gently explains to her, he'd seen a lot of people lose their souls (every Nazi scumbag ever) but he'd also seen a brother gain a soul: the android Human Torch, who earned one through empathy and good works. I still consider that one a lot, and I suppose it follows that I'm willing to concede a lot of goodwill to any AI that literally kills Hitler.

Also, hey, Mephisto has a daughter! Maybe, from Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme #6. Mephista was using the name "Jezebel" now, and yeah, don't blame her.

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I bought this to see him give Crossbones the business, but...

It's weird that Marvel doesn't seem to have any books for younger readers anymore, but they've had a few titles that were basically child endangerment, like Spider-Boy, the most recent Spider-Girl, and this one: from 2023, Red Goblin #8, written by Alex Paknadel, pencils by Chris Campana, inks by Roberto Poggi. Cover by InHyuk Lee.

We did get the Red Goblin action figure, mostly for the Kingpin leg he came with; but this wasn't the same one: instead of Norman Osborn under a symbiote, it was his grandson Normie! Who was having trouble controlling the symbiote he named 'Rascal,' but he might have been wondering, was the symbiote the violent one...or was he? This issue continues his struggle against the Goblin Nation, under Goblin King/former heroic Green Goblin Phil Urich. Phil was basically a mobile corpse at this point, and had set the mercenary Crossbones on one of his own henchmen, to prevent him from maybe turning on him. Miles Morales helps Normie out, delivering a top-shelf knockout to Crossbones: seriously, Miles beat him so bad, he looked like he was melting afterwards.

Normie then pretends to remember a Goblin safehouse, but that's just to send Miles on a wild goose chase: Normie knew Spider-Man wouldn't be okay with him murdering every Goblin goon in his way, to rescue his friend Tim. In the ensuing showdown, Urich nearly convinces Rascal to abandon Normie, comparing him to "keeping a tiger in a cage." Rascal thinks maybe Normie would be happy without him, but Normie knows Rascal would just be used to hurt people: with Normie, at least they'd only be hurting bad people...hopefully. Urich then tries to beg out of getting murdered, in that he was basically dead already, but it doesn't appear to save him. (I don't love Urich going bad, but he's also been repeatedly jobbed over the years.) 

 Tim somehow gets to Norman Osborn, who was currently the Gold Goblin, and maybe not a bad guy--eh, he was still an industrialist 1-percenter, he probably still wasn't great. But, can he help his grandson? Does he need help? There were two more issues, so who knows? We saw Normie and Rascal in Adam Warren's stellar Venom Wars: Fantastic Four, but I'm not sure I knew about this series until stumbling across this issue. Not having the rest of it in front of me, I don't know all the backstory: Normie's mom Liz appeared to be working for a competitor to Osborn (Alchemax, one of the legacies of Spider-Man 2099!) and had her own Goblin thing going? And how old is Normie, anyway? Marvel time does weird things. Try to put, say, Franklin Richards, Kitty Pryde, Kamala Khan, the Power Pack kids, Molly Hayes from Runaways, and Normie and the aforementioned Spider-Kids in some kind of order based on how old they appear to be now, versus when each debuted. Actually, maybe don't; you'd never get an answer everyone liked. I do like how Marvel made a big deal a couple years ago about certain younger heroes being outlawed, so now there's even younger ones: the law is an ass!

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AI could never...well, in kayfabe maybe, but...

 

One of my favorite albums ever, well, I feel pretty confident in saying you've never heard of it, unless you've heard me natter on about it before: Servotron's No Room for Humans. Think surf-guitar Devo: their gimmick was, the band was robots, cheerfully preaching robot superiority and the glorious impending extinction of humans. I always thought it could've been popular with the Big Bang Theory crowd, although the AI apocalypse is less fun-sounding now; but it's still a fun listen. (There's a tribute song to the 'Creator,' Robby the Robot; and another to V.I.C.I. of reviled sitcom Small Wonder! Also songs referencing R5-D4 from Star Wars and Magnus, Robot Fighter!) But, today it came to mind with a very timely comic! From 1991, Uncle Scrooge #252, "No Room for Human Error" Written by John Lustig, art by William Van Horn.

It's a more-stressful than usual day at Scrooge McDuck's money bin, as it's parole day for the Beagle Boys: after a drill goes badly, the nephews point out his accountants aren't really prepared to be his first line of defense. Which leaves junior assistant janitor Donald, who has enthusiastically, if not skillfully, been setting homemade traps all over the place. Like a kiddie pool, with "Old Iron Beak," a bitey turtle Donald picked up cheap at "a holistic pet shop!" Frustrated, Scrooge fumes that when he was "a mere quintillionaire" he could protect his fortune himself, but the nephews again advise he can't expect his regular workers to double as guards: they weren't trained for it, and were only human. An innocent phrase, that causes more problems...

Scrooge orders Donald to disarm and dismantle his traps (although Donald loses count, how many were there?) and disappears for a few days, returning with some high-end protection: the Perfecto 4000! With a new robot guard, there was no need to keep Donald on payroll--or the accounting staff! A giddy Scrooge is thrilled to have no staff and no mistakes; until Perfecto gives him his own walking papers: after all, a perfect robot could do his job better than him. Donald has a laugh about that, but Scrooge says he'll fix Perfecto's hash...unfortunately, the cops are routed by the robot, and decide Perfecto was, um, out of their jurisdiction. (Remember, kids: cops aren't legally required to help you! Although they usually help those with big bankrolls more than here.) After the army likewise gets its ass beat, Donald suggests a deal with the devil(s), the Beagle Boys! Who winkingly protest, they'd never steal from their employer: that would be unethical! Although, their contract might be a bit of robbery--they want sick leave and a health plan? If you have one, why do you need the other? Chiselers.

The Beagle Boys already had a plan--actually, a robbery, already in progress. Namely, distracting Perfecto, with 9999 Beagle Boy inflatable dolls, while they tunneled underneath the money bin...OK, the Beagle Boys had two bicycle pumps, to blow up 9999 decoys, each of which was about the size of a regular person. Not only would that take, like a hundred years, but the guys doing the pumping would be friggin' pumped themselves at the end of it! Still, Perfecto isn't fooled long, and catches up to them, and plans to murder them, but not to be cruel: he won't laugh about it, until after. Still, a reflected blast destroys the robot; but Scrooge's victory is short-lived, as now the Beagle Boys were free to loot the place. Their victory is likewise brief, as they trigger the last of Donald's boobytraps, which doesn't work as designed but leaves the Beagle Boys stick in a trough full of glue.

As the cops take away the Beagle Boys, Scrooge is left to ponder: he had the perfect guard, the world's toughest vault, and a flawless plan; yet what saved the day? The world's biggest bungler, Donald Duck! Scrooge rehires Donald, as senior assistant janitor--at least until Old Iron Beak bites Scrooge again. 

So, what have we learned? I don't think AI stans read period, let alone read comics, but right off the top: what's to stop your AI/robot whatsit from deciding you don't serve any useful purpose? Moreover, if said AI malfunctions, what provisions do you have in place as back-ups? I'm thinking of a lot of idiots that have seemingly lost whatever ability to write a bloody email that they may have previously had; but I'm old enough to remember how to maybe process a business transaction without computers; a mostly lost skill, that could maybe make a big comeback...

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I have to wonder if these all came from the same collection, or same collector.

If so, I hope they're doing alright. From 2010, AAFES 10th Edition [New Avengers: X Exchange] #10. The GCD notes, no credits, but at least three art teams.

This actually makes the fourth of these oddly-sized AAFES military exchange comics that I've gotten from my local comic shops dollar bins: previously we've seen Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America issues. But, as you might expect, all three appear this time around, although not until near the end. Captain America saves a kid from being held hostage by Whiplash, while Thor fights the Abomination in Indonesia. When Thor picks up the Abomination and starts flying up with him, Abommy thinks Thor's trying to freeze him out, but that won't work. Nah, he just wanted to get him in the air to lightning the crap out of him.

Iron Man battles a recently-awakened, confused and cranky Fin Fang Foom; who may have been the victim of somebody trying to weaponize the dragon. Were these three events related...? Yes, but who cares, the Avengers were on their way to the opening of a new exchange, to honor the troops. 

 This particular copy wasn't in as good of shape as the others I've picked up, but it wasn't as good of an issue either; it kind of just trails off. Maybe bit off more than they had the page count for! But, at a glance, it looks like AAFES did maybe 17 little Marvel books, between 2005 and 2013.

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Here's another one I had been looking for, and again, the quarter bins provide! (Almost literally this time, it was a fifty-cent buy!) From 1996, Guy Gardner: Warrior #41, "Guys & Babes in Toyland" Written by Beau Smith, pencils by Marc Campos and Mike Parobeck, inks by Dan Davis.

I'd mentioned this before, as featuring animation-style art by the great Mike Parobeck: he had done something similar for Superboy #4, and we do see a thought balloon in the animated version as G'nort wishes he had got that job with Superboy! Here, two versions of the same story run simultaneously: the 'real' events of Guy's visit to Toy Fair '96; and a cleaner, TV-friendly cartoon version. Guy's there to promote his uncle Buck Fargo's planned toy line and tie-in cartoon for him. This version of Guy was way more chill than his JLI days, as well as more respectful to women: one of his sidekicks was jungle-girl Veronna, who was willing to do anything for Guy, but the idea of taking advantage of her seems too much for even him. Toy sales rep Olivia does think Veronna's action figure was going to sell well, though!

This being a comic book, of course some bad guys show up; and hey, why not get a team-up in there? A really, really awkward one, with guest-star Fire! With Ice currently dead, they had both been in mourning, but may have been drifting closer together in spite of themselves. In the animated version, the bad guy is "the Debt" and gets shut down by Olivia; but in real life it was goons from Quorum, who don't appear to have accomplished anything...except their true purpose, getting cell samples from Guy!

Later, Guy manages to catch his show, and is dismayed to see how G-rated/"Captain Marvel" he was portrayed; but too late to change it now. And Fire plans, to maybe see Guy again. 

 I'm actually a little sad I wasn't reading this one when it was released: it's good-natured fun, with Guy far more sympathetic than he'd ever been. I would've still remembered him as a grade-A jerk, though; and he's probably back there now. Also, is it going back to the well to have Parobeck do another animated-show riff? Maybe, but there was still water there! I feel like Wonder Woman deserved an issue of that: Diana, frustrated with executives, "...what, exactly, is a 'Star Rider'?" Parobeck was of course the best, but Campos does a great job here too. Dig it up!

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