80-Page Thursdays: DC Cybernetic Summer #1!

Every so often it gets really hot up here, like to the point that it's probably hazardous to go biking out in it right when I get off work. Or, it's a good excuse to be lazy and read an 80-pager! From 2020, DC Cybernetic Summer #1, with stories by Corinna Bechko, Andrew Constant, Stephanie Phillips, Heath Corson, and more; art by Paul Pelletier, Nik Virella, Scott Koblish, Nicola Scott, and more. Cover by Dan Mora, although how Batman can look so sour while driving the freakin' Metal Men is a mystery. (This one wouldn't fit in the scanner, so the pics are extra janky today; but maybe that'll encourage you to find a copy!)

The opener with Batman, "The Limits of Control," doesn't hit the right notes for summer fun, as Bats points out, "There's no summer in space." He gets out the probably then-current Bat-armor out, to stop Brother Eye from reforming. "Fandom" is closer, as Wonder Woman teams up with Platinum, to stop the other Metal Men, who have been conglomerated into an anime-derived kaiju.

Next, in "Summer Camp" Red Tornado's vacation with his family is interrupted by JL calls and a lost alien; then the real fun: "The Boys of Summer" with Blue Beetle and Booster Gold! When the beach is too crowded, Booster suggests they travel back in time to a less-crowded day...which gets more crowded, since they have so much fun, in the future they keep going back to that day, despite poor Skeets repeated warnings and a visit from King Shark.

"Cybernetic Summer" is a Flash-race, with Barry vs. the Earth-44 Mercury Flash; but then we get the Legion of Super-Heroes, Superboy, and Robot R217, in "Summer Lovin'." Trying to capture an alien, Superboy tags in R217 to cover for him as Clark Kent, and the robot finds himself smitten with a local girl. (Her initials weren't LL; it'd never work out!)

"Out There" pits Midnighter and Apollo against Monsieur Mallah and the Brain; then Harley Quinn and her elderly cyborg pal Sy Borgman try to beat the heat at a water park in "Splish Splash Special."

"Summer Bummer" is a fun one: Robotman's pal Mike doesn't want him to spend the summer moping about, but human stuff isn't as much fun for him. Nor are robot activities super-fun for Mike, but maybe there's something they would both enjoy...? Finally, "Catfish Crisis" is a bit of silliness with Cyborg and Superman against...the Cyborg Superman; until from the multiverse a version of the three of them in one shows up...or does he? Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: Legends of Tomorrow #5!

Every so often in my sporadic DVD purchasing, I see the set for the complete Legends of Tomorrow, which for a good stretch was my favorite show on TV! (Aside: I can't remember the last time I watched a regular-broadcast, first-run show on old-school network TV! Possibly towards the end of the CW's DC shows.) It's mildly annoying, since the first season was only OK, and I have the second season set already: the episode "Raiders of the Lost Art" with George Lucas is where it takes off! Then again, I know I had this issue already, but for a buck I couldn't leave it in the cheap boxes. From 2016, Legends of Tomorrow #5, featuring stories by Len Wein, Keith Giffen, Gerry Conway, and Aaron Lopresti; with art by Aaron Lopresti, Eduardo Pansica, Bilquis Evely, Yildiray Cinar, and more.

This was the penultimate issue of this mini-series, which was three-quarters meat-and-potatoes superhero stuff, and one relaunch that felt like an oddball but might've been a bigger swing: Sugar & Spike by Giffen and Bilquis Evely. They had a long-running series as babies; and here they were young adults, private investigators specializing in superhero weirdness, who could still speak their secret baby-talk to each other if needed. This chapter, Spike recaps their breakout case, where they took down D-list Flash villain Colonel Computron. His tech support friend Bernie isn't especially helpful, and maybe wonders if there isn't sexual tension between the two, with a comment I'm pretty sure put creator Sheldon Mayer spinning in his grave. (I also don't know if it's sexual tension, as much as that Sugar has basically been the boss of Spike, since they were toddlers.)

Also this issue: the traditional Metal Men vs. new Metal Men fight, as the originals face new ones like Ziconium, Silicon, and Copper. Not the old Cooper--er, Copper--but while she seems to be the most stable and mature of the new bunch; Platinum swears she looks familiar, like her creator, Dr. Lace. Copper denies that, but the two teams are probably going to have to work together, as Chemo returns! Doc Magnus is somehow surprised by that; continuity reboots or not, Chemo always comes back, c'mon. Also, Magnus is way younger seeming in this version, and has goggles instead of his pipe!

Firestorm gears up for a final battle with Multiplex, as a bunch of personal stuff hangs over his head--Ronnie was high school age again, and wondering if he should stick with his team, or take a scholarship at a better school; while Jason was having health issues, and the Professor seems particularly boring? Like, more than usual? There's a solid page of him microwaving breakfast before work at his lab! Still, that could be to establish how Professor Stein was isolated and alone and needed the guys and Firestorm nonsense in his life. And in Metamorpho's feature, Sapphire has stolen the Orb of Ra, which later communicates with her, telling her she knows what she was doing was wrong; but god she could be a daddy's girl sometimes. The cliffhanger has Java ready to kill Rex; maybe he had been built up as threatening the rest of this series, but I can't buy it. You'd be better off with the current Metamorpho series there!

Technically, this might be a 100-pager, but it actually has 80 comic pages! I like the package, I like the idea; it's just not my favorite version of some of the characters. Read more!

I bought two copies of this one from a quarter bin that had at least three; because the print quality on the covers varied wildly between them! Enough to be momentarily interesting, anyway; let's see if the actual story is! From 1972, Brave and the Bold #103, "A Traitor Lurks Inside Earth!" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Bob Brown, inks by Frank McLaughlin.

The government thought if they put nuclear command in the hands of a "compu-bot" installed a mile underneath a magma dome; it would be safe from enemy interference. Of course, it was also unreachable to maintain or reprogram, so when "John Doe" starts acting up, the government asks Batman to try and find the rebellious robot's creator. Batman works the case, eventually finding John's creator, an apparent suicide; but Bats realizes John killed him with an ultrasonic signal triggering termporary insanity. John might be found out, but what could they do about it? Nothing! But, Batman might be able to get some help from this month's guest-stars, the Metal Men! If they decide to reform, that is.

I don't know where this fits in Metal Men continuity, but Professor Magnus was currently out of the picture, having become "the power-mad puppet of a foreign dictator via a brain operation." Feel like the Metal Men, or Batman for that matter, should do something about that; but the robots were currently living as second-class citizens. The surly Mercury is offended that Gold would choose to "pass" as a human, while Tina is working as an "all-nite" go-go dancer. Actually, it isn't clear if Tina is technically an employee, the nightclub owner may think he owns her. He gets rather casually knocked out by Iron, which is probably assault, but feels appropriate. This was a fairly common theme in Metal Men stories, although here "Robots' Lib" seems like a jab, like they were being uppity for wanting better treatment. Also, Tin has settled down with a little wife: who the hell was that? Actually, there seemed like a lot of robots, an auditorium full, at a Robots' Lib meeting; and the speaker's words seem familiar to Batman--because rights are universal? No, because John Doe has co-opted the movement. Batman approaches the Metal Men, who are divided about whether to help him or not; but Batman produces Professor Magnus's last will, which moves them, although Mercury argues Magnus wasn't really dead, that shouldn't apply!

The Metal Men are launched through terrible heat and radiation to get to John Doe--and then side with him! John makes his ultimatum: robots would take over, because let's be honest, it's not like they could do a worse job than humanity, right? Batman works out an alternate route--through a bat cave!--to get to John, but the heat and radiation is too much for even him. He's saved by the Metal Men--how they could have saved him from radiation poisoning, um, well--and they say they haven't gone bad: John had captured Tin, as a hostage against them! (Losing Tin on its own wouldn't break their responsometers; but they wouldn't be able to face his poor wife--again, who the hell was she? Looks it up...oh, no.)

The heroes manage to free Tin, and Gold rips out dozens of John Doe's memory banks--a slow, horrible death for a robot. But the robot had a reserve personality, that of its creator, that fights a little more before pulling its own plug. Still, maybe this could be an important lesson, against creating a race of slaves...no, we're gonna go out again playing "lib" as a bad joke. Read more!

Aw, man, Cooper doesn't even make the cover!...'Copper'? That doesn't sound right.

Oddly enough, I've never picked up the Showcase collections for the Metal Men; partly because I never see the first one, and partly because I already have the Walt Simonson issues in the should-never-be-out-of-print Art of Walt Simonson. Also surprising: I didn't already have all of this one: from 2011, DC Comics Presents: Metal Men 100-Page Spectacular, mostly written by Keith Giffen and J. M. DeMatteis, mostly drawn by Kevin Maguire!

While this starts with a reprint of the Bob Haney-written Silver Age: the Brave and the Bold #1, the rest is the complete run of back-up stories from Giffen's 2009 Doom Patrol, which I have most of but I don't think I added it to my pull list until it was already on the chopping block for cancellation. The Metal Men stories are fun, but that's all they are: there's barely a lick of development or drama, but maybe that's the way to go with them? They're largely resistant to change, or change and then quickly change back--malleable, you might say! One change should have stuck, though: the addition of new team member, Copper; but one running joke is that most of the team seems to forget her on a regular basis. (I thought she was from Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire, but Copper was actually an earlier addition, from 2007's Superman/Batman #34!) I'd love to have her back in the lineup again, like she took two years off to hitchhike across Europe, then just told everyone she had been there the whole time, and they bought it...I wondered if maybe the guys weren't building up to something, like the reason Magnus and the others never remember her was that she was some kind of plant; but now I kinda doubt that: in the last couple stories, they gave Magnus his own lab assistant/wacky sidekick, which really feels like overegging the pudding there. Read more!

Was the dead one the first to get an action figure?

I didn't think Mattel would get the heroes of the Doom Patrol out, so I sure as heck didn't think they were going to finish the whole lineup for the Metal Men! But, I finished this limited series; and I'd best blog it so I don't finish it again...From 1993, Metal Men #2, "Fast Backward!" Written by Mike Carlin, layouts by Dan Jurgens, finishes by Brett Breeding.

The cover blurb on the first issue proclaims "from the team that killed Superman!" but they don't quite catch lightning in a bottle again here; since they maybe shouldn't have tried the "everything you know is wrong!" card. Doc Magnus has been getting more and more irritable, repeatedly refusing to let the Metal Men go on potentially dangerous missions. Why not? They're just robots, right?...right? The true origin of the Metal Men is revealed, as a lab accident years ago trapped several scientists, a janitor, and a pizza delivery guy in the bodies of the Metal Men. Gold had been Doc Magnus's brother, and Platinum had been Gold's wife, although she seemed pretty into Magnus before the accident: later in the series, trying to reconcile her attraction to both of them, she describes them as basically the same guy, which doesn't seem like it should be a ringing endorsement.

The previously-unseen human bodies of the Metal Men had been in a secret lab, but get killed in the first issue, leaving them Metal Men for good. It's kind of a downer; and the series ends with Gold dead and Doc Magnus now a Metal Man himself, Veridium. They would appear in a few crossovers; but this retcon would itself be retconned in 52, with the whole limited series written off as part of mental breakdown for Magnus. Well, it's got nice art for a mental breakdown, anyway. Read more!

Two Eclipso figures, but no Metal Men? That seems unfair.

I mentioned before not buying the DC Universe Classics Metal Men, because I honestly didn't think Mattel would get anywhere near finishing the team. They did, long after it was too late to go back and pick them up! I probably had more Eclipso comics than Metal Men too, but here's one for the latter...guest starring Eclipso! From 1976, Metal Men #49, "The Dark God Cometh!" Plot and script by Martin Pasko, plot and art by Walt Simonson.

The splash page recaps it pretty succinctly: Eclipso has "summoned a mysterious giant whatsis from the waters surrounding Diablo Island!" It's up to the Metal Men to stop it, even if their creator Dr. Magnus seems a bit befuzzled today, or maybe concussed. Eclipso gets turned back into Bruce Gordon twice this ish, once to deliver some exposition about the whatsis, Umbra: this is a bit of Eclipso's origin that would be retconned later, or at least over-shadowed (as it were) with his fallen angel of vengeance bit.

This was reprinted in the 1989 trade The Art of Walt Simonson, so I knew I had read this before; but I don't mind having a copy to shove into the scanner. This was his last issue on the book, although he would do the covers for #50-52.
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80-Page Thursdays: Legends of Tomorrow #1!

Hey, an 80-pager you could buy right now! From last week or so, Legends of Tomorrow #1, featuring stories by Len Wein, Keith Giffen, Gerry Conway, and Aaron Lopresti; with art by Aaron Lopresti, Eduardo Pansica, Bilquis Evely, Yildiray Cinar, and more.

Every Day is Like Wednesday had a little write-up on this last week, and rightly point out this package is basically four comics for the price of two. I don't know how all the numbers break down, but it feels like instead of publishing four probably middling-selling mini-series, DC decided to bundle them up and see how the package sells. And naming it after one of their TV shows couldn't hurt.

So, if you like two of the four titles, you're as much as getting your money's worth, right? Well, it may be a bad sign that I was thinking about this book this afternoon and had plumb forgot the Metal Men were in it...and that's not to say the Metal Men story was bad, but it's pretty straight-forward super-heroing. (With that weird anti-robot prejudice that seems prevalent in 90% of the populace in Metal Men comics, and nowhere to be found in the larger DC Universe.) It's just my bad timing that I was re-reading not-super-old Doom Patrol comics with the more-comedic Keith Giffen/J.M.DeMatteis/Kevin Maguire Metal Men, which does feature the aforementioned robophobia but where the titular robots have more personality in a couple panels than they do in Legends of Tomorrow.

(See? From 2009's Doom Patrol #2.)

Likewise, I read Metamorpho's origin just recently already, the 2007-08 Metamorpho: Year One. Not to quote myself, but on that post I said you could never suck all the fun out of Metamorpho: "You could suck fun out of him all day and still have some leftover." So, of course, Bleeding Cool has an interview with writer/artist Aaron Lopresti, who says "...in the ones I have read there seems to always be a certain air of silliness to the character. In my version, that’s gone." That seems like muting a character with a great voice--a voice that's 75% Marvel's Ben Grimm, but still a great voice! Now, Rex is a prisoner most of this story, but we see both Sapphire and Java getting upgraded to scientist: Sapph had been characterized before as at best, flighty; but Java was a defrosted caveman! (He still is, but on smart drugs, apparently.) I probably sound like I'm bagging on this a bit, and maybe; but it's still not bad...just a bit standardized.

Now, I've never been a big Firestorm fan; but I thought his feature was not unlike the others: a decent superhero story, perhaps lacking a little pop. Giffen's Sugar & Spike update is just confusing, though, as tonally it's all over the map. Let's update a funny toddler strip--that's beloved as such by those few who even remember it--as a light action piece, with a comically creepy Killer Moth, 50's era Batman costumes, and from the current continuity, one-handed Alfred? Together, the choices are just baffling. It would be like deciding to, say, update Archie as a Tarentino-style crime title: it could be done, but why?

I fully realize this probably sounds like a thumbs down for this book, but it really isn't all bad! It is a nice package, but I feel like DC is not taking enough chances with these characters. I want to read about Metamorpho and the Metal Men, so give me Metamorpho and the Metal Men! Don't try and make them like everything else: they aren't, that's the point of them! Go a little more nuts with them, and Firestorm; and what the heck, we'll see where Sugar & Spike is headed.
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Back when Flash's defining characteristic was "gross."

I mentioned buying the first issue of this mini-series of the racks back in 1991, but only got the second at a recent show: War of the Gods #2, "The Holy Wars" Story and layouts by George Perez, additional layouts by Russell Braun, finishes by Cynthia Martin and Romeo Tanghal.

Even though this is the second issue, it's chapter 13, since each crossover issue counted as a chapter. (We checked out a Hawkworld chapter a bit back.) So I'm more than a little vague what's going on here, but that may also be because some of the titles being crossed over with were in weird places as well. For example, Captain Atom #57 was a tie-in--and that book's final issue, which seems to defeat the purpose of a crossover to drive up sales--but was also a tie-in with Armageddon 2001 #2, and seemed to be indicating the Captain was breaking bad. (Hopefully, we'll check out that issue at the end of the year!) There was a panel where Dove worries about the missing Hawk, who would turn up...to kill her, in the aforementioned Armageddon 2001 #2, although that was a late change and isn't foreshadowed here. Similarly, the Martin-Stein Firestorm (who had been lost in space a year or two prior) had returned; a panel checks in with the Justice Society of America, who had been trapped in Limbo fighting Ragnarok for several years; still another hints at the return of the Metal Men.

The rate I'm going, I'll probably read #4 in 2063. Still, if it's the big finish, there's something to look forward to.

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Man, Art Adams can draw mole people...

I'm thinking of the Moloids from the replacement Fantastic Four and the Shrewmanoid from Monkeyman and O'Brien; but this time is with the Challengers of the Unknown, from Legends of the DC Universe 80-Page Giant. ("The Great Unknown!" Story and inks by Karl Kesel, pencils by Art Adams.)

I lucked into a dinged-up quarter copy of that one, a good price for it, since it's a little hit-or-miss. There's a Deadman story with Eduardo Barreto art; then Beast Boy and Wonder Girl solo stories that aren't great. Admittedly, outside of the Teen Titans cartoon, I don't think I've ever liked Beast Boy, and don't even think of him as part of the Doom Patrol, either. Then, a Metal Men story set when Doc Magnus was Veridium--yeah.

Nice art, but...man. The Metal Men weren't robots in this one, but copies of Dr. Magnus's dead lab crew; which makes a story with them fighting a giant monster geranium less fun than you'd hope. ("Heart of Tin," written by Tom Peyer, pencils by Scott Kolins, inks by Bob Layton.)

Then there's a nice Walt Simonson and Klaus Janson Apokolips story, and a Legion of Super-Heroes story that's more about Superman than anything. Not the best 80-page special, then, but not the worst either.
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