"Kick."

Every time there's a toy show, there's always some figure I buy that I'm later asking "why?" and probably a couple I'm kicking myself for not buying. This time around I bought a Marvel Legends Toad--I think the first series one, that kind of sucks? He's dingy and not as articulated as a usual Legends figure, since I think he was repurposed into that line. And I didn't buy a Dr. Doom with a very sharp aftermarket cloth cape, or the Marvel Super-Heroes video game Thanos! The latter had been part of a set with Psylocke and may be tough to dig up now. That said, I did get a coupon for Never Enough Toys, and I'll be checking them out later today--as I type this, anyway, this won't post for a bit! (I got a DCUC Cyborg Superman, and um, the Widow-mom from the Black Widow movie. Melina Vostokova, or such. That's at least the second time I've got a figure from a two-pack there, and the more desirable one at that!)

How many strips have I done with figures from video games that I don't play? A goddamn ton! But I love the first two Marvel Capcom games: I was never really good at the combo system on the third. I don't think current fighting games go for the leftfield, oddball characters anymore, though; like Shuma-Gorath. (The Tekken series is another, that I think used to have so many weirdos and has largely phased them out?) Anyway, so far Shuma's the only one of the recent video game Legends that I've picked up, because he was the only new character for me: I have Psylocke, Silver Samurai, Juggernaut figures.

   

For Blackheart, I wanted to emulate his "Heart of Darkness" hyper combo; and I had those Shadow Demons from Super 7's Dungeons & Dragons . That was probably half off retail at Ross, but good luck: I've seen a bit of Super 7 backstock there, but it's a crapshoot. I did see Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Skull at one; much cheaper, but then getting him without Bulk seems like getting David Spade without Chris Farley. OK, maybe not that bad.  .

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Gone for a day, runs back in like I'm coming back from a war.

Well, that wasn't so bad! Some of the remnants of my ex-table have been repurposed into keeping stuff off the ground, and I picked up a shelving unit at Lowes that took care of ten long-boxes! One more and I should be in good shape...for now, he said ominously. It's funny; for a long time, I treated stuff like longboxes, shelves, totes for toys; all unreasonable expenses that were keeping me from getting more stuff! A tirade like Peter Griffin's drug tips ("more smack in your arms") that's probably aged about as well...

But, little secret? I do enjoy the hell out of this stupid blog, and nattering on about semi-remembered comics. Like today's book!  From 1993, Dark Angel #9 "Assassination, part 1" Written by Bernie Jaye, art by Dell Barras. Cover by Bryan Hitch!

So we've seen an issue of this before (With Excalibur, of course!) and we've looked at multiple Marvel UK books, but right this very second I have no idea what Mys-Tech's end goal was? Step one: get immortality from Mephisto. Step two: spend centuries making the world awful and plotting to double-cross Mephisto somehow. Step three: profit? Dark Angel--formerly Hell's Angel for her first five issues, which all guest-star the X-Men! I don't know why the name change; if there were negative associations with the biker gang, or if the bikers had good lawyers. Anyway, Dark Angel's dad Ranulph had worked for Mys-Tech, until his death, and the Mys-Tech board was still hounding him to get some work done: they wanted his immortality research, but Mephisto had apparently killed Ranulph in the first issue, which I thought was a no-no for him. The board and Dark Angel were both looking for pieces of his soul, and the board fights through some "dead-zoners," one of whom appears to be Nighthawk, from the Squadron Supreme? We've seen other dead heroes in this series, it may have been a recurring bit.

Dark Angel gets the "Wyrd Sisters," to fight the board: they were daughters of the "Web-Spinners." Not in a Spider-Man sense, but more classical, like the Fates. The board nearly gets Ranulph's soul, which means they could then order the hit on Dark Angel's secret identity, but she fakes them out into thinking Mephisto was coming. Unfortunately, even though Mys-Tech tries to call off their hit, since Shevaune Haldane's immortality research was now needed, they can't! (I swear her civilian name is spelled six different ways in the few issues I've seen of hers! Sure enough, it's Shevaun on the Marvel Wiki.) Mys-Tech's robotic "D.O.G.s" are sniffing out Dark Angel's trail, which puts one against the X-Men at their mansion, and Dark Angel teleports in to help...to be continued, although you know what might have helped sales immensely? Maybe an actual crossover! If Dark Angel had actually appeared in Uncanny, that would've put her in front of a lot of readers.

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It wasn't the first annual I ever read--that was probably Star Wars Annual #1, co-incidentally also by Claremont--but X-Men Annual #6 was one of the first for me; which in hindsight is almost a shame, since it's better than just about any annual since? Great story, Sienkiewicz art, friggin' Dracula; the only misstep is it kills off a Tomb of Dracula character in such a way that I don't think she's ever come back. Just as a package, though, pound for pound, it's a great comic, in a way annuals would rarely be later. Like today's book! From 1993, X-Men Annual #2, "A Bluer Slice of Heaven" Written by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Aron Wiesenfeld, inks by Al Milgrom, Bob Wiacek, and Keith Williams.

I had to look this up, since to compare this to X-Men Annual #6 again, that one was only 39 pages; I definitely would have said it was longer, as way more happens in it. This one's 64 pages, but the lead story is 45, then a 10-page throwaway Scott Lobdell/Ian Churchill Beast story. Although there were annuals chock-full of back-up features and pin-ups before--Amazing Spider-Man Annual #15 comes to mind, although the lead story is so good it carries it--for several years, starting maybe around X-Factor Annual #3 and the Evolutionary War crossover, it became exceedingly rare for an annual to make full use of it's page count, instead featuring a slightly longer lead-story, then shorter stuff of often varying quality. And we're nattering on about this, rather than getting into this issue's plot, since...? Most of the story is incremental steps of the larger ongoing plotline, and brief character bits. Or caricature: here's Scott and Jean being melodramatic about their relationship and the hardships of X-life, here's Beast in the lab grinding away, here's Gambit borderline sexually harassing. Beast does have a line about having to act all "morally perturbed and angst-ridden as everyone else" just to be taken seriously; he was just getting started on work on the Legacy Virus, and in a brief shot is drawn more lean than his usual broad-shouldered cartoon version. It probably isn't intentional, but it feels like a last goodbye to the old, fun Beast; you wouldn't be seeing him anytime soon. (Ah, I say that, but also feel like Joe Madureira maybe made him look fun, briefly.)

This also tries to set up a new villain, or at least antagonist: what he actually wants is supposed to be morally grey but instead just feels vague? It's Jonathan Chambers--no, not Chamber, this was Empyrean, who had some empathic emotion absorbing/redirecting powers. He was also setting up what he as much as calls a "leper colony" for mutants with the Legacy Virus, so he had the stricken Pyro there, along with the rest of the Brotherhood; who are reunited with estranged members Avalanche and the formerly Crimson Commando, now just Commando, saying he felt like the Crimson had been bled out of him on their last failed mission. (Although created in the 80's, CC had been a WWII hero, now cyborg'd up, not unlike Erik Larsen's Superpatriot.) There's a bit of a fight, but it's supposed to be open as to whether Empyrean is helping stricken mutants, or exploiting them; I think that would come down pretty solidly on the exploiting side later. Recurring government-man d-bag Henry Peter Gyrich makes an appearance, which I don't think was entirely common for the X-books? I'm used to him making things worse for the Avengers, and can't recall if he had any particular racism or was just always on the government's side.

Also, this was an early appearance of Kwannon, as Revanche, a name I never got: so, Betsy Braddock had got put in her (Japanese) body, while she got Betsy's British, purple haired one. Which, this issue, is revealed to have contracted the Legacy Virus. There's almost the germ of an idea, with Kwannon and Betsy playing off of each other; but it's ground to pulp in the mill of the X-Men soap opera long before anything really comes of it. She'd be back, much much later. The Legacy Virus plotline would run, usually in the background, from 1992 to Uncanny #390 in 2001: it was maybe intended as a metaphor for HIV/AIDS, but is somewhat muddled, since mutants could get it randomly. Read more!

The Watcher is here; in his traditional role as hype man.

Not to disparage the writers or letterers, but the preview for this issue, without word balloons, was more fun; because it really made it look like Kurt was mmmmmaybe pretending to be more hurt than he was, so Psylocke wouid hold him. Oh, the pain! From 2006, Uncanny X-Men #473, "Family Lies! The First Foursaken, part 2 of 3" Plot by Chris Claremont, script by Tony Bedard, pencils by Roger Cruz, inks by Victor Olazaba.

This was nearing the end of Claremont's third, and final, run on Uncanny; which I had mostly enjoyed but had maybe been spinning its wheels for a bit. Kurt's squad, with Psylocke, Rachel, Bishop and...ugh...Cannonball; up against the very, very hyped-up Jamie Braddock. The Watcher appears--and allows himself to be seen, before dropping a bunch of exposition, which feels like they're really trying to sell Jamie as a dangerous, unstoppable force of nature, and nah. Jamie also has a posse, his old crew of bad kids and hangers-on, that have powers too; and they all have very Claremont British names like "Godfrey Calthrop," and I'm kind of hoping Chris named them after brats he knew in school. There's a big sky beam, which I guess would've been novel back then and hadn't appeared in like 90 movies yet? (Watch a bunch of Honest Trailers and drink every time there's a sky beam!) There's ghostly salamanders that can pull someone's spirit out of their body; and there's another Claremont standard, as Kurt realizes Jamie has made Psylocke invisible to his old crew, so she can stop them? But everyone gets sucked into a vortex in the end...There's a blurb for "Loose Ends!" next issue, but the letters page is already hyping up #475 and new writer Ed Brubaker. (Enh...)

Also, this was back when Nightcrawler had pretty strict limitations to his powers, that seem to have completely fallen by the wayside in the years since? There's an episode of X-MEN '97, where Cyclops says "Kurt can teleport us (from the mansion) to Muir Island," and I blurted out "HE'S NOT A ####ING BUS, SCOTT." Read more!