It's been a while since we've had a random MCP, and here's one I would've been reading new off the rack: from 1988, Marvel Comics Presents #5, cover by John Buscema and Klaus Janson. 

Five issues in, this was five chapters into three serials, with only the last Daredevil feature a stand-alone. If I recall, this was Logan's second solo story, after his first limited. Having gotten his mutant clock cleaned by crimelord Roche and his thugs--namely vampiric Sapphire Styx and Razorfist--Logan spends this chapter recovering, rescued by Jessan Hoan. Who reveals, she knew he was Wolverine. The claws might've tipped her off. (Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by John Buscema, inks by Klaus Janson.)

I've read all of this Man-Thing story, but coming in now I'm at a loss: looks like yet another conspiracy around the Sallis version of the Super-Soldier Serum, a Satanist babe seemingly in control of Man-Thing, and an Ollie North-type testifying in front of Congress; that he may have acted 'unconventionally' but he did so for America, darn it. It's pretty obvious Gerber finds him more full of it than the Satanists. (Written by Steve Gerber, art by Tom Sutton.)

Likewise, the only thing I remember about this Shang-Chi serial, is that I think Leiko is taken hostage for most of it, and she loses a hand? I hadn't read much Master of Kung Fu when this came out, so Shang seemed strangely passive; like he's usually waiting for something to happen. Grindberg was doing a nice Neal Adams-feel there, though. (Written by Doug Moench, pencils by Tom Grindberg, inks by Dave Cockrum.)

Finally, the Daredevil short finds our hero trying to save a kid from a stalker. There's a little twist, but not much; but for eight pages, sure. (Written by Terry Kavanagh, pencils by Dwayne Turner, inks by Michael Gustovich.)

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I have no idea what's happening here, but it's retconned anyway, so just enjoy the sentiment.

There's two more Legends of the Dead Earth annuals next to me, and I have to dig the Aquaman and Starman ones out of my garage--yeesh, that'll be a job! But I found this one in a great haul today, in a fancy archival holder, that I went ahead and popped open so I could cram it in the scanner: from 1996, Sovereign Seven Annual #2, "Memento Mori" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Rick Leonardi, inks by Klaus Janson and Steve Mitchell. 

I know I read the first issue of Sovereign Seven back in '95, and I'm pretty sure DC getting Claremont was a coup at the time. Before that, I know I had been reading his Aliens/Predator: Deadliest of the Species, which was hindered by being a bimonthly limited--twelve issues over the course of a little over two years--as well as hitting some tropes he had already used in his X-Men years. Anyway, I'm going to compare S7 to a book from one of his former collaborators: Marc Silvestri's Cyberforce #1. Both those first issues are polished-looking, throw a ton of new characters at you, that already have their own history and team dynamic, as well as bad guys that have seemingly been fighting them for years: both of those books wanted to be X-Men, right out of the gate, without doing the tedious business of years of setting up. Neither would get there, although to be fair, Cyberforce has run sporadically in the years since; while Sovereign Seven would wrap after a three year run, and be retconned away from the DC Universe. (The book was creator owned, so it couldn't be used elsewhere, which may or may not have hurt it.) 

This issue, at the Crossroads Coffee House, it's the end of the universe, and one of the proprietors, Lucy, watches the last star burn out. Well, they had a good run; and she reminisces over the night they first met the heroes of Sovereign Seven, which, in linear time, depending on what theory of the end of the universe you subscribe to, could've been several trillion years ago!...you might hope something else memorable happened in that time.

But, the house band shows up, then more and more, as various memories of events readers wouldn't have seen yet pass by: Aquaman dueling Fatale, for reasons not yet known. The wedding, and death, of Cruiser. Rampart defending Christians against his fellow Muslims, then later becoming President of the United States! Cascade, enslaved in the future, by Network, which somehow involves Saturn Girl of the Legion! (Cascade is either telepathically forced out of her armor, or cybernetically hacked, and forced to kneel like a dog before a dominatrix-like woman: even in a Claremont book, that's a really Claremonty bit!) Nightcrawler-lookalike Indigo shows at the coffeehouse to try and cheer up Daisy, who knows he was long dead, but he seems to think not. Likewise, in the 30th Century, a Kitty Pryde-type rescues "Summer Grey" from the government, and she really looks like Rachel Summers! (By that point, 'Network' seems to be a resistance group against an oppressive government; although having not read the other 35 issues or the Sovereign Seven Plus The Legion book, I could be wrong!)

The overall effect, for me anyway, is like the Simpsons episode "Pygmoelian," where thinking he's going to be written off of the soap opera he was starring in since becoming handsome, Moe conspires with Homer to get even, by spilling a ton of the soap's "top secret storylines." I find it weird when writers do that, you might be able to use some of that stuff later.

In the end, after a night of memories and friends, including cameos from Deadman, Lobo, Enemy Ace, and more; the cosmos appears to be starting up again, a brand new day. "The world will end but love and music endureth." Hey, nothing wrong with that.  

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I did pick up all four issues of Claremont's Superman/Wonder Woman: Whom Gods Destroy Elseworlds, but I haven't had time to flip through them yet, and they probably won't fit in the scanner anyway. This issue does, though! From 1982, Uncanny X-Men #159, "Night Screams!" Written by Chris Claremont, guest-pencils by Bill Sienkiewicz, inks by Bob Wiacek, letters by Tor Orzechowski, colors by Glynis Wein.

This was a lead-in to X-Men Annual #6, one of my first X-reads and still a classic. The X-Men stop off at Misty Knight's apartment, but instead meet her roommate, model Harmony Young. The X-Men had arrived in costume, but Kitty had to change for dinner with her parents: Ororo didn't have clothes for it, but Harmony gets her dressed up. Still, later when Kitty calls the apartment, Ororo had left hours ago, but hadn't arrived back, as we see her laid out in an alley.

Logan and Piotr rush to the hospital, where Ororo had been brought in. Having lost a ton of blood, the doctor wanted to do a full transfusion, but couldn't because of unusual elements in her blood. The X-Men were still largely secret back then, and Logan worries the doctor was very close to putting two-and-two together; but then Ororo seems completely fine, save not remembering who (or what) attacked her, and she has a momentary twinge of fear at the night, that passes after she thinks she saw eyes in it. Back at Misty's, the worried guys tuck her into bed (and Bill appears to misdraw Kurt's hand turning out a light, on an otherwise amazing page!) but Ororo's rest is troubled, until she opens up the windows, and a fog sweeps in...

When Kitty arrives back two days later, she finds the guys moping, as they were at a loss how to help Ororo, who seemed to be losing the will to live. Kitty rushes up to see her, and opens the drapes; Ororo protests that "the sunlight...hurts." She also has a fancy scarf, embroidered with a 'D,' around her neck; "a...gift, from an admirer. But how can that be? He's a figment of my imagination." Ororo flinches, when the light reflects off Kitty's Star of David, and while Kitty starts putting it together, Ororo shoves her away. It's Dracula, haven't Kurt, Logan, or Piotr read a book or seen a movie? Well, this issue does predate Fright Night, so I guess they've got some excuse: probably less, since I'm pretty sure it's been retconned since that Logan had run into vampires before, and possibly even Kurt as well. (Kurt seemed at least aware they existed in the Marvel U. and Logan himself later mentions he's "seen the movies!")

Dracula shows up, to take Ororo away, but Kitty makes a valiant if ill-advised attempt to stop him alone, with a kicky little hat and a cross. Which fails miserably, since she wasn't Catholic or Christian or whatever; but her Star of David saves her from Drac's chokehold. Still, she can't stop Dracula and Ororo from flying away, as the guys arrive. Logan is skeptical, but Kurt trusts Kitty; and either way they can't just let Ororo take off. Logan tracks her to Central Park, where Dracula confronts them, with some wild dogs to even up the numbers. Kurt gets clobbered, Logan whiffs a fastball special when Dracula turns into mist, and even Piotr is thrown back. Logan tries to make a cross with his claws, but he doesn't believe. However, Kurt does, and staggers Dracula for a moment, before he summons lightning, which Kurt can barely teleport ahead of...

Kitty had slipped away, to try and find Ororo, and finds a coffin deep inside a weather station. She fouls it with holy water--I'm mildly curious where she got that, but you can get anything in NYC. Kitty then gets smacked by Ororo, who isn't really a vampire yet, but her mind had been warped. Kitty tries to reach her, saying Ororo had been "a goddess consecrated to life," and drops her stake, refusing to fight her. Meanwhile, Kurt tries to turn Dracula's lightning against him, teleporting over the vampire, but that just seems to knock out all the X-Men, leaving only Dracula and Ororo standing. Dracula orders her to kill them, but she turns on him, hitting him with another lightning bolt! Dracula takes a bat-man (or Man-Bat!) form and takes off, taunting Ororo that she was still is, but she knocks him through a window with an arctic wind. Dracula takes a hostage, but Ororo refuses to become a vampire, or to kill: "I was born free, vampire, and free I will remain." Dracula admits, she had earned her respect, and takes off...for now.

As the sun rises, Ororo returns to the X-Men, and hugs Kitty for her braveness. But the X-Men don't have long to rest, as they get a phone call from Moira MacTaggert: Professor Xavier's condition had taken a turn for the worse... 

I don't think Claremont was ever shy about wearing his influences on his sleeve; and this feels like a speedrun through Bram Stoker's novel. But the character work, and the art, make it a great one. If you were a fan of the alt-universe series Mutant X, this issue was a load-bearing plot point, as Ororo didn't resist there and gobbled Kitty up to become the vampire Bloodstorm. I also think I read Claremont's Dracula, long, long before I'd ever get to read Tomb of Dracula: those I probably didn't see until the 1993 reprints.

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Admittedly, it felt like a week reading this one.

Even though I know I didn't, it feels like I read all of one comic last week. Oh, and another volume of Chainsaw Man, but too bad for you, we're looking at 2000's Heroes Reborn: Doom #1, "Doom" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Mike McKone, inks by Mark McKenna, letters by Richard Starkings and Comicraft. So many letters...

I was trying to sort out where this one fell: a gazillion years ago, we saw the Chuck Dixon/Leonardo Manco Doom mini-series, where Victor ends up stranded without armor and weapons on the Heroes Reborn earth that had been created by Franklin Richards: I had to look it up, that's after this series. We also saw a bit of continuity backfill, in a Thor annual, explaining what happened when the other heroes returned to regular Earth-616; that maybe doesn't work because Doom has his armor back there, but whatever. By this point, Doom is conquering the hell out of the largely hero-less earth--who did they have left? Proto-Iron Man Rebel? Girl Bucky? While Doom had a crew of hitters, most of whom are seemingly terrified of him but still betray him; but he had a few that were maybe loyal so far: a really murdery Lady Dorma, the Celestial Ashema, and Lancer. Seeing Lady Dorma is mildly interesting: she had of course been dead in regular continuity for years, and wasn't quite considered a saint like the likewise passed Gwen Stacy, but close. Somehow, Claremont seems to be implying that Namor was a humanizing influence on her (and the other Atlanteans there) and without him Dorma could be a monster.

I also had to look up Lancer, since I remember her appearing at Doom's side for a bit there; but I wasn't sure what happened to her. Narratively, it would make the most sense for her to be loyal to Doom until he eventually went too far, or used her up entirely: arguably, she would have been a creation of Franklin Richards and not necessarily "real," but that would hardly matter to Doom either way, he'd still see here as just another tool for him to use as needed. I don't think her story was really resolved, and neither was her world's: the thrust of this issue, is Doom uses an attack by the Dreaming Celestial to get the power to move the Heroes Reborn earth out of its pocket dimension and into the real world, on the other side of the sun, where the High Evolutionary's Counter-Earth used to be, taking that name. It may or may not still be there to this day? I've noticed this before, but I'm still surprised: so in the 616 universe, today, there's probably at least four earths around somewhere: the regular one, this one, the High Evolutionary's (that got stolen some time back) and the New Universe one that was sealed off. Suck on that, Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planetary Development!...that might be the nerdiest reference we'll ever make here. Read more!

This might not seem like a horror book; and it's not!

Really could've been, though. From 1990, Uncanny X-Men #260, "Star 90" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Marc Silvestri, inks by Dan Green.

When this came out, I would've maybe read like one issue of Dazzler's solo book off of the spinner racks; but her former agent Eric Beale had appeared before, although not as a drooling psychotic. Well, cocaine is a helluva drug, although it's not pictured, and described as "primo snow serious buzz" with some monstrous sound FX for sniffing. So, Marvel won't show drug use, but a ton of simulated violence against women, that's just fine. Cool, cool. Anyway, Eric's lost the reality knob, and plots to murder the recently returned Alison Blaire, who at the moment, was not that far away in Malibu. After going through the Siege Perilous, she was back, but without a lot of her memories, which she seems to see as baggage she was better off without. She was currently staying at one of Lila Cheney's houses, with her old friend Fred Stanachek and Lila's bodyguard Guido Carosella, the future Strong Guy.

Fred is not only crushing super-hard on Alison; he also had found maybe the only surviving print of the Dazzler movie. After a screening, Guido admits it ain't bad; but Alison has no interest in promoting it or becoming a star: that was another woman, another life. She opts out of the conversation in possibly the most dramatic way, by stripping down to a swimsuit, grabbing a board, and hitting the beach for night surfing. This gives Eric a chance to shoot at her: he misses his first shot, then clips her surfboard. Ali zaps his gun, but Eric gets away as Fred and Guido pull her out of the water. Still, this gives her something to do: promote the movie, to draw out her potential killer.

Next, hey, more violence against women! Who would usually do a better job taking care of themselves, even. Colossus, also having gone through the plot device Siege Perilous, didn't have his memory and was fixated on a beautiful woman he had seen but kept disappearing on him. He gets another chance, as she's attacked by an X-Men themed gang, while wearing what appears to be a prom dress. Peter steps in, and also does a crap job, but is saved by Genoshan mutate Jenny Ransome. The woman disappears again, though: she was really Callisto; her old face taken away by Masque. Usually she'd have been able to slaughter that gang with one arm tied behind her back, but maybe the dress was a hindrance.

Fred gets Alison a meeting with a movie studio, that she doesn't seem particularly invested in; telling the exec she wasn't Dazzler, but her "evil twin, Skippy." This leads to a couple pages of makeovers, interspersed with Eric's slapstick attempt to murder her, that gets interrupted by his own forced makeover. Then, three more subplot pages, as Forge and Banshee are on their way to Muir Island, to see what was going on there. They are sidetracked, first by the new issue of People with Alison on the cover (artwork, she still didn't show on film!) then by the plane they would've been on getting shot down by Fenris! Who, like typical rich kids, halfass their job and don't even bother leaving their yacht to make sure they got Banshee: they had got a tip-off from someone; I suspect Moira/the Shadow King, or whatever. Banshee flies off with Forge, taking a page from the X-Men's book: let everyone think they were dead.

On the beach at Malibu, Alison's all dressed up for her movie's premiere, but still doesn't really care. She misses it anyway, as Eric...sneaks up on her with a three-wheeler, disguised as a cop, and bops her with a nightstick? Unless her powers were working overtime, she should've heard that blocks away! Back at his house, Eric changes Alison's outfit to her classic Dazzler spandex, but with a bag tied over her head. She's able to blast eyeholes through it with a photon blast, but her hands were still tied and she was in roller-skates, and she was running out of options: even if she had the juice for a laser, that would be a fatal response...which Eric probably deserves. Instead, she cranks up the lightshow to hypnotise him, mellowing his buzz out to the point he was harmless.

And, I think that's a wrap for Alison in this run of Uncanny: pretty sure Guido would appear again before she would. This issue takes its title from the Dorothy Stratten biopic Star 80 but instead plays the stalker mostly for laughs: I don't know if Claremont wasn't interested in going harder with that, or if he had been limited editorially. Despite the overwhelming magenta hue, the Jim Lee cover makes it seem like it was going to be a much darker story, although Alison's powers do maybe keep her out of a lot of danger. This also feels like a missed opportunity, to maybe toss out some problematic aspects of her continuity--some stuff from the Dazzler graphic novel is deeply skeevy, but Jim Shooter also gets a cameo here, so mixed messages? Read more!

The Watcher is here; in his traditional role as hype man.

Not to disparage the writers or letterers, but the preview for this issue, without word balloons, was more fun; because it really made it look like Kurt was mmmmmaybe pretending to be more hurt than he was, so Psylocke wouid hold him. Oh, the pain! From 2006, Uncanny X-Men #473, "Family Lies! The First Foursaken, part 2 of 3" Plot by Chris Claremont, script by Tony Bedard, pencils by Roger Cruz, inks by Victor Olazaba.

This was nearing the end of Claremont's third, and final, run on Uncanny; which I had mostly enjoyed but had maybe been spinning its wheels for a bit. Kurt's squad, with Psylocke, Rachel, Bishop and...ugh...Cannonball; up against the very, very hyped-up Jamie Braddock. The Watcher appears--and allows himself to be seen, before dropping a bunch of exposition, which feels like they're really trying to sell Jamie as a dangerous, unstoppable force of nature, and nah. Jamie also has a posse, his old crew of bad kids and hangers-on, that have powers too; and they all have very Claremont British names like "Godfrey Calthrop," and I'm kind of hoping Chris named them after brats he knew in school. There's a big sky beam, which I guess would've been novel back then and hadn't appeared in like 90 movies yet? (Watch a bunch of Honest Trailers and drink every time there's a sky beam!) There's ghostly salamanders that can pull someone's spirit out of their body; and there's another Claremont standard, as Kurt realizes Jamie has made Psylocke invisible to his old crew, so she can stop them? But everyone gets sucked into a vortex in the end...There's a blurb for "Loose Ends!" next issue, but the letters page is already hyping up #475 and new writer Ed Brubaker. (Enh...)

Also, this was back when Nightcrawler had pretty strict limitations to his powers, that seem to have completely fallen by the wayside in the years since? There's an episode of X-MEN '97, where Cyclops says "Kurt can teleport us (from the mansion) to Muir Island," and I blurted out "HE'S NOT A ####ING BUS, SCOTT." Read more!

I wasn't feeling great the other day--annoyed at work, and some age-related upper ass pain--but I managed to treat myself to seventy-some dollar books from a local store. There weren't any full limiteds: I'm missing a issue of Masks and of Duncan Rouleau's Metal Men, but those should be be fun reads. And yet today, we've got a random issue of another limited: from 2003, Mekanix #5, "Bad Moon Rising" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Juan Bobillo, inks by Marcelo Sosa. Cover by Cecilia Calle.

Remind me again why this series was titled "Mekanix," and not something more marketable, like "The Kitty Pryde Show." She gets top billing as Shadowcat, but Karma also guest-stars: I think she was another of Claremont's favorites, although bad stuff often seemed to happen to her repeatedly under other writers. This issue, they fight "a smaller version of the Mega-Sentinel that wiped out Genosha." Karma's mind-control powers aren't any help, but she's still down to fight to save her younger siblings; while the Sentinel already seemed to have counter-measures to Kitty's phasing powers. Luckily, their telekinetic friend Shola is able crush it into nothingness.

Too close to today's headlines, Kitty has been put on double-(not)-secret probation at the University of Chicago; I believe for punching out racists. Discouraged, she still gets sucked into a debate with mean girl Alice Tremaine, who represents Purity, the web face of the Voice of Humanity. (Were they related to the Friends of Humanity?) But, Kitty doesn't get to deliver the verbal knockout punch this issue, as more Sentinels arrive...

I haven't read the rest of this, but while the previous four issue probably flesh out the supporting cast, feels a little thin plot-wise. This might also have been setting up a Kitty/Karma relationship (or college experimentation...) that I'm not sure was touched again later. Read more!

Give a Hulk a fish...I don't know, he eats it raw, like a geek?

Still, probably easier than teaching the Hulk to fish, I suppose.

From 1976, Hulk Annual #5, "And Six Will Crush the Hulk!" Plot by Len Wein, script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Sal Buscema, inks by Jack Abel. 

I was surprised to see Claremont's name in this one, I didn't think he had written Hulk before. I was also surprised somebody cut the coupon for the Spider-Man Action Water Glove out of this ratty copy; I hope they enjoyed it! This was what I was thinking of when I had the Xemnu figure out a while ago, a greatest-hits for the Hulk, but he maybe hadn't hit some of these guys before. And he might not have hit them yet, really, since most of the monsters in this one are re-creations, duplicates of previous alien visitors to earth, created by an unseen foe with distinctive word balloons. After the usual army skirmish, Hulk has to face all comers, starting with Diablo--not the alchemist, but a ssssmack-talking sssmoke monssster with unfortunate sssibilance. He's talking out of the other side of his mouth when he realizes, oh crap, the Hulk can hurt him. Next is Taboo--not the one from Werewolf by Night, this was a big mud-monster; then Groot, the Monster from Planet X! By this point, even the Hulk has noticed they're all kind of the same?

Maybe that will help the Hulk appreciate the next one more: Goom! He's...original, you have to give him that. 

The Hulk is drained after each win, but also savvy enough to use techniques that worked for him before in these fights. On the other hand, he seemingly doesn't know the word "rain," so..."water from sky"? Really, Hulk? Next is the electricity monster Blip, which the Hulk thinks is his semi-regular foe Zzzax; before the creator of these knock-offs: Xemnu the Titan! Or, "White-Thing!"

While Xemnu drained a lot of energy from the Hulk, he also pissed him off, a lot, making him stronger than ever. After a short fight, the two wreck a dam and Xemnu is seemingly washed away, and the Hulk is left victorious. And lucky, because who wants to smell that wet fur? I bet it's awful. Anyway, while it's fun to see the old-school monsters, all the fights are the same: "Green cretin, your pathetic strength is no match for my might!" And so on, until they realize the Hulk can reach them, and does.

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Wish I could find the button to turn the cloaking device off...

Sigh. It's getting close to the end of the year, so I should be doing more to prepare for the year-end, but I've had some injuries and some motivational trouble. I also have a ton of figures that I was super looking forward to, and have only used for background shots; but maybe today's book will help: from 1982, Star-Lord: the Special Edition, reprinting 1977's Marvel Preview #11, written by Chris Claremont, pencils by John Byrne and Michael Golden, inks by Terry Austin. (It's possible I didn't get to read this until it was reprinted again, in 1996's Star-Lord Megazine #1. I absolutely loved Marvel's Megazine reprints!)

Claremont and Byrne didn't create Star-Lord, but they reinvented Steve Englehart's character as less of a vengeance-driven obsessive and more of a swashbuckler. It's such a great one-shot it almost wraps the character: you don't really need more Star-Lord stories after this one! He and his companion, Ship, free a couple youngsters from slavery, then fight to stop an usurper and save the emperor of Sparta, who has a perhaps not-surprising connection to Star-Lord, if you've seen Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. (No, not Ego!) Sparta and a few other aspects of this version have since been folded back into the current, largely MCU-insprired version; although I think it's a planet of jerks nowadays and not the benevolent empire we see in the Michael Golden penciled framing sequence.

One thing this version has the others do not: a Doctor Who reprint! From 1981's Doctor Who: A Marvel Monthly #52, "Spider God" Written by Steve Moore, art by Dave Gibbons. An eight-pager with the Fourth Doctor? Nothing wrong with that!

It's entirely possible that Star-Lord figure is going to turn up in a strip here again, since it was a figure I was pretty happy to get: I've bought who knows how many movie Star-Lords (four?) and never figured they would make this one. And it was a mild pain to finally get as well: my first order from Wal-Mart was cancelled, and I don't recall ever seeing it on shelves locally. You could maybe get it from Wal-Mart's site now, but the price has gotten a bit gougey. Read more!

I swear I've barely been able to stay awake all day; let's see if this issue helps! Three thousand dead before we even get started, that's something. From 1979, John Carter, Warlord of Mars #20, "Battle at the Bottom of the World!" Written by Chris Claremont, art by Ernie Colon.

This was chapter five of "The Master Assassin of Mars," which didn't appear to be an adaptation of an Edgar Rice Burroughs' story, but Claremont nails the usual plot: John and Dejah Thoris visit a new area of Mars, and meet another new race, locked in mortal combat with another tribe or group. This time it's the (mostly) winged Crovars vs. the apish Ptothians: the Crovars have more civilization, but don't seem great, either. Their leader Chan Tomar has claimed Dejah, and enjoys rubbing John's nose in it. They sacrifice about three thousand men, in a distraction, to destroy the Ptothian supply camp. John survives, with his ally Garthon, because he had kept hidden his earthling strength, and leaps to safety like the Hulk! John's been pretty impressed with Garthon's bravery, but Garthon's dad, a winged Crovar, is less so: bad enough his kid didn't have wings, he also preferred poetry and gardening to battle.

To escape the Crovar city Karanthor, John was rigging improvised climbing equipment, for an eight-mile climb! Which would be tough enough for him, he had some experience; but Dejah wouldn't have. Garthon approaches John with another option: he had been planning to leave for the surface of Barsoom (Mars!) with a slave girl, through a volcanic shaft. John goes to get Dejah, who is being attacked by Chan Tomar: he hadn't minded her playing hard-to-get for a while, but was done waiting. John tears into him, and gets wingslapped for it: Tomar has him on the ropes the whole fight, but after John connects once, it's all over. Dejah and John are reunited, but the moment is stepped on by the arrival of Tomar's guards.

I thought the next issue would be the conclusion, but not only do John and Dejah not escape then, but there were seven chapters to go! Twelve parts is probably a short serial for John Carter but seems almost interminably long for a Marvel book of the time. Read more!

Get his wallet!

So I recently had my more-or-less annual "Why the hell do I still live here" fit and am maybe coming out of it. Especially on a day like today where it's too hot to do much, but I can go for a bike ride, pick up a dozen cheap comics and a Blizzard, and call it good. And a fun book to start with there: from 1986, the New Mutants #43, "Getting Even!" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Steve Purcell, inks by Whilce Portacio. Cover by Barry Windsor-Smith!

What could get me to buy a New Mutants book, since I've never really warmed up to them? Well, the cover is sweet, with the entire team seemingly ready to beat down Empath of the Hellions. Even Doug looks like he's gonna throw those hands; nobody likes that guy. But, I hadn't realized this had art from Steve Purcell of Sam & Max fame! This month, Bobby returns to the team, and is quickly steamed up for revenge on Empath, for torturing their friends: Tom Friedlander and Sharon Corsi, who we've seen before, and were still "red Indians," which is less a limitation of comic-book coloring than tradition at this point. While some of the team wonder from the start where this is going to go off the rails, Magik is all-in: drag that sucker to hell, er, Limbo, and start the torture!

The kids already have their mind-games in place ahead of Empath's moves, but somewhat surprisingly, his team opts to come to his rescue. Well, it's not that surprising: they had a pretty solid moral center in James Proudstar, who was then Thunderbird but would join X-Force as Warpath. Doug and some of the others figure out they don't want to sink to Empath's level, and give him back to the Hellions, where James makes it clear where the line's going to be for him going forward...although, I don't think he'd be around Empath long enough to enforce it, and that punk remains a dick pretty much to this day...? Yep.

Also this issue: yet another U.S. Postal Service Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation: Total No. Copies Printed (net press run): Average no. of copies each issue during preceding 12 months: 477,295. Single issue nearest to filing date: 390,784. Read more!