I thought it was weird Todd had even drawn Paladin twice.

I'm also 80% sure this issue did not need to be reprinted at the time; it was probably widely available in quarter bins and such. From 1989, Marvel Tales #231, reprinting 1981's Marvel Team-Up #108, "Something Wicked This Way Kills!" Plot by Tom DeFalco, script by David Michelinie, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mike Esposito. New cover by Todd McFarlane.

Todd did Marvel Tales covers from #223 to #239, starting with reprinting the classic Doc Ock/Death of Captain Stacy storyline, then shifting to mostly Marvel Team-Up issues with mutants. This would include a trifecta with Dazzler, so you've got Todd doing a pretty sharp classic Dazzler, with a bunch of hacky jokes about her, being a mutant, and/or disco. She doesn't make the cover this time, but Paladin does; and I remembered Todd had drawn him on the cover of Amazing #321...and had forgot about #320. Huh.

Anyway, this issue. This was back in the day when Peter Parker was a teaching assistant at Empire State, and here he catches an earful from a coach for flunking a star player. The guy only answered three questions out of fifty; so yeah. Spidey's also on the trail of a strange "street stalker," who seemed to be sucking the heat out of his victims; and Peter Parker was also trying to get back on top, since Lance Bannon had been getting the big pictures lately. Patrolling the park, Spidey of course gets into the traditional Marvel misunderstanding brawl with Paladin, who was working the case for cash, but ditches out for a date, leaving Spidey to get a victim to the hospital: predictably, Lance gets a picture of Spidey holding the victim, which J.Jonah Jameson just adores. It of course won't last, but JJJ is ridonkulously happy, like that Vince McMahon meme: "Pictures!...Pictures of Spider-Man!...Pictures of Spider-Man, committing a crime!...Pictures of Spider-Man, committing a crime, NOT from that weasel Parker!"

Spidey catches up with Paladin outside a fancy restaurant, where he was meeting his client; and Spidey has to suffer the indignity of being forced to wear a tie to get in. The client was the stalker's husband, and she tells a sob story of a lab accident involving microwaves, a radiation-absorbing suit, and vitamins? Sure, why not. Spidey isn't sure he would be able to help, which Paladin assumes was a bargaining ploy for a better payoff: Paladin has a hearty laugh when he finds out Spidey didn't do that for cash, which feels like a missed shot for an "action is his reward" crack. Later, as the increasingly unstable scientist takes up the name "Thermo" and kills a co-worker he thought was going after his wife; Spidey and Paladin get serious...seriously beat-down. Dazzler has a cameo, since she'd be in the next issue; but she decides to see what the hubbub is about after she finishes her makeup, while Thermo drains the heat out of Spidey...!

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This might not seem like a horror book; and it's not!

Really could've been, though. From 1990, Uncanny X-Men #260, "Star 90" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Marc Silvestri, inks by Dan Green.

When this came out, I would've maybe read like one issue of Dazzler's solo book off of the spinner racks; but her former agent Eric Beale had appeared before, although not as a drooling psychotic. Well, cocaine is a helluva drug, although it's not pictured, and described as "primo snow serious buzz" with some monstrous sound FX for sniffing. So, Marvel won't show drug use, but a ton of simulated violence against women, that's just fine. Cool, cool. Anyway, Eric's lost the reality knob, and plots to murder the recently returned Alison Blaire, who at the moment, was not that far away in Malibu. After going through the Siege Perilous, she was back, but without a lot of her memories, which she seems to see as baggage she was better off without. She was currently staying at one of Lila Cheney's houses, with her old friend Fred Stanachek and Lila's bodyguard Guido Carosella, the future Strong Guy.

Fred is not only crushing super-hard on Alison; he also had found maybe the only surviving print of the Dazzler movie. After a screening, Guido admits it ain't bad; but Alison has no interest in promoting it or becoming a star: that was another woman, another life. She opts out of the conversation in possibly the most dramatic way, by stripping down to a swimsuit, grabbing a board, and hitting the beach for night surfing. This gives Eric a chance to shoot at her: he misses his first shot, then clips her surfboard. Ali zaps his gun, but Eric gets away as Fred and Guido pull her out of the water. Still, this gives her something to do: promote the movie, to draw out her potential killer.

Next, hey, more violence against women! Who would usually do a better job taking care of themselves, even. Colossus, also having gone through the plot device Siege Perilous, didn't have his memory and was fixated on a beautiful woman he had seen but kept disappearing on him. He gets another chance, as she's attacked by an X-Men themed gang, while wearing what appears to be a prom dress. Peter steps in, and also does a crap job, but is saved by Genoshan mutate Jenny Ransome. The woman disappears again, though: she was really Callisto; her old face taken away by Masque. Usually she'd have been able to slaughter that gang with one arm tied behind her back, but maybe the dress was a hindrance.

Fred gets Alison a meeting with a movie studio, that she doesn't seem particularly invested in; telling the exec she wasn't Dazzler, but her "evil twin, Skippy." This leads to a couple pages of makeovers, interspersed with Eric's slapstick attempt to murder her, that gets interrupted by his own forced makeover. Then, three more subplot pages, as Forge and Banshee are on their way to Muir Island, to see what was going on there. They are sidetracked, first by the new issue of People with Alison on the cover (artwork, she still didn't show on film!) then by the plane they would've been on getting shot down by Fenris! Who, like typical rich kids, halfass their job and don't even bother leaving their yacht to make sure they got Banshee: they had got a tip-off from someone; I suspect Moira/the Shadow King, or whatever. Banshee flies off with Forge, taking a page from the X-Men's book: let everyone think they were dead.

On the beach at Malibu, Alison's all dressed up for her movie's premiere, but still doesn't really care. She misses it anyway, as Eric...sneaks up on her with a three-wheeler, disguised as a cop, and bops her with a nightstick? Unless her powers were working overtime, she should've heard that blocks away! Back at his house, Eric changes Alison's outfit to her classic Dazzler spandex, but with a bag tied over her head. She's able to blast eyeholes through it with a photon blast, but her hands were still tied and she was in roller-skates, and she was running out of options: even if she had the juice for a laser, that would be a fatal response...which Eric probably deserves. Instead, she cranks up the lightshow to hypnotise him, mellowing his buzz out to the point he was harmless.

And, I think that's a wrap for Alison in this run of Uncanny: pretty sure Guido would appear again before she would. This issue takes its title from the Dorothy Stratten biopic Star 80 but instead plays the stalker mostly for laughs: I don't know if Claremont wasn't interested in going harder with that, or if he had been limited editorially. Despite the overwhelming magenta hue, the Jim Lee cover makes it seem like it was going to be a much darker story, although Alison's powers do maybe keep her out of a lot of danger. This also feels like a missed opportunity, to maybe toss out some problematic aspects of her continuity--some stuff from the Dazzler graphic novel is deeply skeevy, but Jim Shooter also gets a cameo here, so mixed messages? Read more!

"Taken."

I don't love this one, because it ran afoul of my staging: Longshot's unconscious ass was on the farthest edge of stage left. (From the point of view of someone facing out at us!) Without breaking up the set, I spent a lot of time trying to finagle a shot from the other side of the bar shooting out; which was difficult because of the placement of the figures, focus, and that such a shot would also include most of my living room! It's something that comics could do easily, but in movies I believe it would be considered breaking the 180˚ Rule. (Stephen King mentions breaking the rule when he was directing Maximum Overdrive, out of ignorance; that's an interesting read there.) Long story short, I ran out of interesting angles or shots for Satana and Dazzler to talk over Longshot.

I wanted to get at the idea that Longshot might be as guilty of toxic masculinity as most superguys; that he decided to forget his wife and kid, under the notion that he'd be better able to protect them. I think this is technically accurate: Longshot leaping into action to protect strangers, would be a noble act, and his luck powers would kick in. Protecting his family, however, would somehow be considered a selfish act, and his luck would not only not work, it may backfire completely. This may make Longshot a more tragic character, or more of a dumbass. Or both? 

In the words of the great Evan Dorkin, "Don't drink Zima! It zucks! And it's made by Coors!" That said, I'm positive I've had it at least once; but I think I drank wine coolers for a ridiculous amount of time, so as usual, my taste is questionable.

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"Currency."

Hmm, considering I'm behind schedule, this one still turned out longer than expected. So, small victories. At least part of this was done before last Saturday's events, though.

I'm pretty sure it's from a Silvestri-drawn issue of Uncanny X-Men, where Dazzler absorbs the sound so much it's like she's taking the words from people's mouths. Turning sound into light, is basically alchemy; like one of the craziest mutant powers if you think about it. 

So, of course Kurt would take a more "humanist" view of the situation, and be more concerned with Alison and Longshot themselves, rather than what may or may not happen in the future. Which, to Bishop and Cable, would be like burying your head in the sand and pretending not to hear the warnings. They think more tactically, and aren't necessarily wrong here.

How many more episodes will Longshot be passed out...?    

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"Venue."

Sadly, I didn't go all-out on set design this week, but I'm not sure what a proper green room at a bigger venue would look like nowadays. Probably kind of plain? Of course, now that I'm done it occurs to me I could've maybe googled that, if searches worked for anything anymore. Are artists going to have to go back to keeping morgues of reference material?  (By the way, if you haven't seen the movie Green Room, you probably should.) 

 Hmm, we've actually seen Paladin before twice; but I think Dazzler has only appeared in background shots? If even that? Although her name has been dropped on more than one occasion.

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