Get his wallet!

So I recently had my more-or-less annual "Why the hell do I still live here" fit and am maybe coming out of it. Especially on a day like today where it's too hot to do much, but I can go for a bike ride, pick up a dozen cheap comics and a Blizzard, and call it good. And a fun book to start with there: from 1986, the New Mutants #43, "Getting Even!" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Steve Purcell, inks by Whilce Portacio. Cover by Barry Windsor-Smith!

What could get me to buy a New Mutants book, since I've never really warmed up to them? Well, the cover is sweet, with the entire team seemingly ready to beat down Empath of the Hellions. Even Doug looks like he's gonna throw those hands; nobody likes that guy. But, I hadn't realized this had art from Steve Purcell of Sam & Max fame! This month, Bobby returns to the team, and is quickly steamed up for revenge on Empath, for torturing their friends: Tom Friedlander and Sharon Corsi, who we've seen before, and were still "red Indians," which is less a limitation of comic-book coloring than tradition at this point. While some of the team wonder from the start where this is going to go off the rails, Magik is all-in: drag that sucker to hell, er, Limbo, and start the torture!

The kids already have their mind-games in place ahead of Empath's moves, but somewhat surprisingly, his team opts to come to his rescue. Well, it's not that surprising: they had a pretty solid moral center in James Proudstar, who was then Thunderbird but would join X-Force as Warpath. Doug and some of the others figure out they don't want to sink to Empath's level, and give him back to the Hellions, where James makes it clear where the line's going to be for him going forward...although, I don't think he'd be around Empath long enough to enforce it, and that punk remains a dick pretty much to this day...? Yep.

Also this issue: yet another U.S. Postal Service Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation: Total No. Copies Printed (net press run): Average no. of copies each issue during preceding 12 months: 477,295. Single issue nearest to filing date: 390,784. Read more!

Am I still confused on this story? Or did the needle land on 'bad'?

Eight years ago, we blogged the first issue of Bruce Jones and Ariel Olivetti's "Darker Than Death", a Legends of the Dark Knight storyline that left me puzzled. Partly because sometimes, if a comic has a mystery, it may be hard to see if it was executed well until the end. (I've told you Identity Crisis hurt me and left me unable to trust!) I am puzzled why this one needed to be five issues, though: LotDK was pretty bad about that for some time, with more than a few serials that might've been stronger if they had been a issue or two shorter. And now I'm wondering if I should blog this one without having the other four issues handy--or if I've even read the third or fourth chapters--but dude, it's been eight years.

The final chapter begins with Batman examining a woman's body on a dock; something that sounds fun if you're not a detective...hey! Bats is kicking himself for his handling of this case: what clues did he miss? He calls Alfred to pick him up, so Bruce Wayne will have an excuse to find the body, but he does hide some evidence from Commissioner Gordon: the empty briefcase, missing the money he had given Lilith Rutledge to cover the ransom for her kidnapped younger sister, Janie. Bruce had slept with Lilith, so he's more personally involved than usual; but Alfred's done some detective work. (Or had it done.) Lilith wasn't Janie's sister, she was her mother. When Lilith's ex-husband died under suspicious circumstances, he left his money to Janie in a trust; a word that Bruce seems to spit out like it was poison.

The bloated body turns out not to be Janie, but her fiancé's butler's daughter. Well, that clears that up. She had also been pregnant, probably courtesy of said fiancé. Later that night, a coffee-buzzed Bruce is furious at himself for losing both the Rutledge sisters (or 'sisters') but when Alfred scolds him not to spill any on the new DSL, Bruce realizes there were only two DSL companies in Gotham, and could trace the kidnappers' call that way. Really...really seems like he should've caught that earlier; but he traces the call to the fiancé's cabin. Which also seems like a likely place to have checked, too. Before Bruce can take off, Commissioner Gordon pays a visit; having pieced enough of the clues together to know Bruce was involved and had tried to pay the ransom. The fiancé had been brought in; but Bruce asks Gordon to give him until morning to produce the kidnappers and clear the fiancé. Gordon figures that's a job for Batman, but it's up to you if he means get to it, or get him on the phone.

At the cabin, Batman makes short work out of the kidnappers, one of whom is feeling just as burned as Batman was: he had worked with Lilith in offing her husband, but had been left holding the bag this time. The goons had been holding Janie, and the whole thing was Lilith's plot: she convinced Janie it was so she wouldn't have to go through with her wedding, to a broke playboy, but was more interested in either latching onto a playboy with money, or getting him to cover a ransom. The confused and frightened Janie doesn't seem to know Lilith wasn't her sister, but did have her cell number. As she enjoys a drive with the top down in Malibu, she gets a call from Bruce, but Lilith already knew he was Batman. She plays at feeling bad for falling for him, claiming that wasn't part of her plan. Bats gives her two pieces of advice: be careful driving in Malibu, the sun can be blinding. Also, it's doubtful she would get far on three hundred dollars of ransom: she had taken the money, wrapped in plastic, from Bruce's case to her own, but only the top bills were real. Appearing in the middle of the road like a terrifying avenger of the night--no, appearing in the road like he wants to get run over like a sack of laundry--

Batman scares Lilith, who throws up her hands like she just doesn't care, while not paying attention to changing road conditions. She goes over a cliff and dies. It's open to interpretation if Batman feels bad about this, or if he busts on down to the wreck to scrub any evidence from the scene.

Now again, I do think I'm missing a chapter; but the "mother is really her sister" feels like it's cribbed from Chinatown, even if it isn't. I also think, well, Batman's the greatest detective in the world, right? He probably should've seen right through Lilith's sister act. I don't know if this plays fair, but they may actually add to the re-read value: on first reading, Bruce is concerned for Lilith and feels like their involvement blinded him to some clues. Re-read it, though, and Bruce knew the whole time, hence the fake ransom. That kind of feels like trying to have it both ways, though.

No R.Kelly references this time, but we do get one from one of the greatest single issues ever: 1989's Sam & Max Freelance Police Special #1, story and art by Steve Purcell. And we finally get to finish 2006's Legends of the Dark Knight #211, "Darker Than Death, part 5 of 5" Story by Bruce Jones, art by Ariel Olivetti.
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Enemy Ace would've had too much class for that...

Amazing High Adventure #5 is the only issue of that series I've ever seen, which is a bit of a shame. From 1986, it was an anthology book that seemed pretty far afield from the usual super-hero fare. This issue opens with "The Skyhook" Written by Mike Baron, art by John Ridgeway. Post World War I, a young pilot and his sister lose their father to a gangster and his torpedo, the Kraut. The pilot recognizes the Kraut as a former German ace, from a run-in with him in the skies over Verdun.


The pilot and his partner hatch a scheme to get back at the gangster with a robbery, and a daring escape via skyhook, a trick they had been prepping for flying exhibitions. Everything goes to plan, except they aren't the only ones with a plane lying around...

This issue also features a straight retelling of David and Goliath, from Baron and Tomosina Cawthrone-Artis; and a tale of rebellion in British-ruled India from Bill Mantlo and Steve Purcell that's very different from anything I had seen from either of those creators before. On the other hand, the last story, "My Brother's Keeper" is exactly what you would expect from aviation fan Ken Steacy: during the Cold War, a Soviet spy tries to commandeer a flying wing on a test flight, but may have forgotten about the attached parasite plane. For a little extra drama, the parasite plane's pilot is the brother of the wing's captain, and scared of heights when he's not in a plane.
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This would be total Christmas nightmare fuel, if it wasn't so funny.

The Hellboy Christmas Special features the usual rock-solid Hellboy tale (including an old woman who thinks Big Red is St. Nick) and a Gary Gianni Corpus Monstrum story, which I almost wish was still a back-up feature in B.P.R.D. or something. (Like Barren Earth or Tales of Dave, it's a feature I like when I see it, but don't necessarily go out of my way to get.) But both of those are overshadowed for me by the inimitable Steve Purcell, with Toybox.

Purcell of course is the creator of Sam and Max, Freelance Police, which are probably better known for their video games or even cartoon than for their comic, which is a crime against comics you should all hang your heads for. I'm not sure if he did more Toybox stories, but I wish he would. In this one, Suda (weird little goth-looking girl) and Ernie (rat) end up at an old lady's cottage on "the night when a strange visitor arrives with a message of giving."

The cottage is empty, the old woman Suda thought lived there gone, a mysterious pile of black lumps left in her bed. They start a fire, and fall asleep. Ernie wakes up late, the fire out, to see the arrival of a strange visitor.


As the spider rummages through the pantry, then moves to eat Suda, Ernie has to take it down with a handy harpoon: "I can take him. I have thumbs, and...the superior brain of a mammal!" Dead, the spider's belly starts to wriggle, so Ernie takes a butcher knife to it, finding another surprise:

Well, at least Ernie saved next Christmas. But, to continue gushing, I hate rats, and Purcell makes them look great. I'm not sure if this issue has been reprinted in it's entirety, since Dark Horse usually just keeps the Hellboy stuff in the trades, but see if you can dig it up. Read more!

I say the same thing every big crossover.

And my wife always says, "Don't call me Dreek, freako." Have I used this one already? Meh. Busy today, and I got comics. In fact, we might even look at new comics this weekend here. Maybe. If you're good.

From Dark Horse Presents #107, "Rusty Razorclam, President of Neptune" written by Steve Purcell, art by Mike Mignola. Mignola of course the creator of Hellboy, but Steve Purcell is the creator of Sam & Max: Freelance Police. I kind of wish Rusty was getting a cartoon instead of the Amazing Screw-on Head, though. Read more!