I did pick up all four issues of Claremont's Superman/Wonder Woman: Whom Gods Destroy Elseworlds, but I haven't had time to flip through them yet, and they probably won't fit in the scanner anyway. This issue does, though! From 1982, Uncanny X-Men #159, "Night Screams!" Written by Chris Claremont, guest-pencils by Bill Sienkiewicz, inks by Bob Wiacek, letters by Tor Orzechowski, colors by Glynis Wein.

This was a lead-in to X-Men Annual #6, one of my first X-reads and still a classic. The X-Men stop off at Misty Knight's apartment, but instead meet her roommate, model Harmony Young. The X-Men had arrived in costume, but Kitty had to change for dinner with her parents: Ororo didn't have clothes for it, but Harmony gets her dressed up. Still, later when Kitty calls the apartment, Ororo had left hours ago, but hadn't arrived back, as we see her laid out in an alley.

Logan and Piotr rush to the hospital, where Ororo had been brought in. Having lost a ton of blood, the doctor wanted to do a full transfusion, but couldn't because of unusual elements in her blood. The X-Men were still largely secret back then, and Logan worries the doctor was very close to putting two-and-two together; but then Ororo seems completely fine, save not remembering who (or what) attacked her, and she has a momentary twinge of fear at the night, that passes after she thinks she saw eyes in it. Back at Misty's, the worried guys tuck her into bed (and Bill appears to misdraw Kurt's hand turning out a light, on an otherwise amazing page!) but Ororo's rest is troubled, until she opens up the windows, and a fog sweeps in...

When Kitty arrives back two days later, she finds the guys moping, as they were at a loss how to help Ororo, who seemed to be losing the will to live. Kitty rushes up to see her, and opens the drapes; Ororo protests that "the sunlight...hurts." She also has a fancy scarf, embroidered with a 'D,' around her neck; "a...gift, from an admirer. But how can that be? He's a figment of my imagination." Ororo flinches, when the light reflects off Kitty's Star of David, and while Kitty starts putting it together, Ororo shoves her away. It's Dracula, haven't Kurt, Logan, or Piotr read a book or seen a movie? Well, this issue does predate Fright Night, so I guess they've got some excuse: probably less, since I'm pretty sure it's been retconned since that Logan had run into vampires before, and possibly even Kurt as well. (Kurt seemed at least aware they existed in the Marvel U. and Logan himself later mentions he's "seen the movies!")

Dracula shows up, to take Ororo away, but Kitty makes a valiant if ill-advised attempt to stop him alone, with a kicky little hat and a cross. Which fails miserably, since she wasn't Catholic or Christian or whatever; but her Star of David saves her from Drac's chokehold. Still, she can't stop Dracula and Ororo from flying away, as the guys arrive. Logan is skeptical, but Kurt trusts Kitty; and either way they can't just let Ororo take off. Logan tracks her to Central Park, where Dracula confronts them, with some wild dogs to even up the numbers. Kurt gets clobbered, Logan whiffs a fastball special when Dracula turns into mist, and even Piotr is thrown back. Logan tries to make a cross with his claws, but he doesn't believe. However, Kurt does, and staggers Dracula for a moment, before he summons lightning, which Kurt can barely teleport ahead of...

Kitty had slipped away, to try and find Ororo, and finds a coffin deep inside a weather station. She fouls it with holy water--I'm mildly curious where she got that, but you can get anything in NYC. Kitty then gets smacked by Ororo, who isn't really a vampire yet, but her mind had been warped. Kitty tries to reach her, saying Ororo had been "a goddess consecrated to life," and drops her stake, refusing to fight her. Meanwhile, Kurt tries to turn Dracula's lightning against him, teleporting over the vampire, but that just seems to knock out all the X-Men, leaving only Dracula and Ororo standing. Dracula orders her to kill them, but she turns on him, hitting him with another lightning bolt! Dracula takes a bat-man (or Man-Bat!) form and takes off, taunting Ororo that she was still is, but she knocks him through a window with an arctic wind. Dracula takes a hostage, but Ororo refuses to become a vampire, or to kill: "I was born free, vampire, and free I will remain." Dracula admits, she had earned her respect, and takes off...for now.

As the sun rises, Ororo returns to the X-Men, and hugs Kitty for her braveness. But the X-Men don't have long to rest, as they get a phone call from Moira MacTaggert: Professor Xavier's condition had taken a turn for the worse... 

I don't think Claremont was ever shy about wearing his influences on his sleeve; and this feels like a speedrun through Bram Stoker's novel. But the character work, and the art, make it a great one. If you were a fan of the alt-universe series Mutant X, this issue was a load-bearing plot point, as Ororo didn't resist there and gobbled Kitty up to become the vampire Bloodstorm. I also think I read Claremont's Dracula, long, long before I'd ever get to read Tomb of Dracula: those I probably didn't see until the 1993 reprints.

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I wasn't feeling great the other day--annoyed at work, and some age-related upper ass pain--but I managed to treat myself to seventy-some dollar books from a local store. There weren't any full limiteds: I'm missing a issue of Masks and of Duncan Rouleau's Metal Men, but those should be be fun reads. And yet today, we've got a random issue of another limited: from 2003, Mekanix #5, "Bad Moon Rising" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Juan Bobillo, inks by Marcelo Sosa. Cover by Cecilia Calle.

Remind me again why this series was titled "Mekanix," and not something more marketable, like "The Kitty Pryde Show." She gets top billing as Shadowcat, but Karma also guest-stars: I think she was another of Claremont's favorites, although bad stuff often seemed to happen to her repeatedly under other writers. This issue, they fight "a smaller version of the Mega-Sentinel that wiped out Genosha." Karma's mind-control powers aren't any help, but she's still down to fight to save her younger siblings; while the Sentinel already seemed to have counter-measures to Kitty's phasing powers. Luckily, their telekinetic friend Shola is able crush it into nothingness.

Too close to today's headlines, Kitty has been put on double-(not)-secret probation at the University of Chicago; I believe for punching out racists. Discouraged, she still gets sucked into a debate with mean girl Alice Tremaine, who represents Purity, the web face of the Voice of Humanity. (Were they related to the Friends of Humanity?) But, Kitty doesn't get to deliver the verbal knockout punch this issue, as more Sentinels arrive...

I haven't read the rest of this, but while the previous four issue probably flesh out the supporting cast, feels a little thin plot-wise. This might also have been setting up a Kitty/Karma relationship (or college experimentation...) that I'm not sure was touched again later. Read more!

The real spiral here is probably the sales numbers.

I'm still waiting for my new Marvel Legends Spiral to ship: it's by all accounts, a pretty well done figure. Particularly since her old one wasn't that great; although I think I probably still have it in the garage. Still, it seemed like a good excuse to pull this one from the quarter bins: from 1997, Excalibur #109, "Dragon Moon Rising" Written by Ben Raab, pencils by Salvador Larroca, inks by Scott Koblish.

Post-Onslaught, Excalibur was still thinking about how to fill the void left by all the heroes that got shipped over to Image, but they aren't off to a great start as Nightcrawler blows up Cerebro while trying to repair it. (Do most failed computer repairs explode like that? They damn well do in X-Men comics!) Kurt is also fretting about how to get Moira MacTaggert's mind off her troubles: namely, that she still hadn't found a cure for the Legacy Virus she had also contracted. Kurt's teammates, meanwhile, are themselves fretting since his girlfriend and their occasional teammate Amanda Sefton seemed to have flaked out and bailed. But, enough of that, as Spiral appears! She's apparently captured Meggan, so Kurt clashes swords with her, but with only three swords to her four, gets punched out. Pete Wisdom distracts Spiral, so Kitty can grab her and phase her through the floor, then checks on Meggan, who claims to see an invisible man with a warning about Brian, and takes off. While everyone gives chase to Spiral, in Hong Kong, the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn examine the captive Brian Braddock. I forget if he was Captain Britain again at this point, or still going by...ugh...Britanic. Seriously, that's gotta be a placeholder name that made it to the final. Brian tries to make a showing of it, since he doesn't know what happened to Meggan, but he's lost his can-do attitude, since he knew he was losing power by not being in Britain.

Also placeholders: the Dragons. I feel like everybody vaguely remembers them from a couple Joe Madureira issues of Uncanny, and Psylocke had a red kinda mark over her eye afterwards? Wolverine got a ninja Wolvie action figure outta the deal? Well, the Dragons themselves have made five appearances, total, three of which were this run in Excalibur! I know they have names but don't recall them or care to look, but one of them looks like kung-fu Tharg. Also, the pages set in Hong Kong have borders in the style of a Chinese restaurant's menu circa 30 years ago.

I actually had to look if my copy was missing pages, since the scene shifts back from Hong Kong to Spiral vs. Wolfsbane, but wasn't she fighting Kitty? Yeah, there are pages out of order. The whole comic actually reads kind of choppy anyway if you get a copy; in the middle of the book there's a big three-page ad for Howard Mackie and John Romita Jr.'s run on Peter Parker, Spider-Man. Kurt manages to get the upper hand on Spiral, who then explains she no longer works for Mojo, and was there because she needed their help to save herself: she had run into the Dragons in her extradimensional Wildways, and had been given the same red brand Psylocke had. She was trying to get out from under them, and didn't want them to get Brian's power. Kitty and Colossus know they can't trust Spiral, but Meggan begs them to let her try, since she and Brian were about to be--married! A long time coming. With some cheesy lines, Kurt agrees to the mission, and the team is teleported to Hong Kong... 

Ugh. Following Warren Ellis would be a tough go for anyone, but Ben Raab wrote several books at Marvel about that time and I didn't like any of them; like the last issue of Spider-Man 2099. (In his defense; he co-wrote that one after regular writer Peter David quit, so he could've been on the spot there.) He's done more work for TV in recent years. Larroca had one more issue on Excalibur, and then the book gets really hit-or-miss on the art for a little over another year, when Excalibur would be cancelled with #125, and Kurt, Kitty, and Piotr would be rolled back into the X-Men. Phooey.

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"The End" Week: Wolverine #13!

Starting "The End" week this year with a lucky number thirteen! Although I suspect the 'legacy' numbering was around three hundred; and there was an ad for his next series on the inside front cover! From 2014, Wolverine #13, "Killable, conclusion" Written by Paul Cornell, pencils by Alan Davis, inks by Mark Farmer.

This was the finale of the traditional make-the-hero-run-the-gauntlet story, except that Logan has failed pretty much across the board. Without his healing factor, Wolverine has been led by the nose to a mall in Alberta, Canada--a mall built over what had been his childhood home--by Sabretooth and Mystique. Kitty Pryde had come with him, but there were several hostages there; one of which presses an injured Wolvie until he takes a swipe at him, chopping off his arm! Or, her arm: it had really been Mystique, who was unhurt, but proved a point: Wolverine's vaunted morals were "tissue paper." Kitty argues he must've known, on some level, that had been Mystique and that he wouldn't have attacked an innocent: it's up to you if Kitty believes in him that much, or if she's trying to convince them both.

With Wolverine suitably softened up, Sabretooth comes out the denouement, calling out his many, many contradictions and hypocrisies. And he's right on a lot of them! But mostly, Creed just wants his "peer" and "confidante" back: his point is, everything Logan did to build himself up as different than Creed, was lie after lie. "Logan" wasn't even his real name! 

Meanwhile, Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. are making a desperate last stand, against the mind-controlling virus from the Microverse: they were trying to power up bioterrorist the Host to stop it from taking over the world, but were running out of time. The Host manages to dial up the infecteds' sensitivity to pain, forcing the virus out of humanity the world over.

Creed asks Logan, if he wants him to end it for him, but has no intention of doing so. Better to watch him age, getting more and more inferior as time goes by. Maybe he'll kill Logan when he's in a nursing home. Creed leaves with Mystique, Silver Samurai, and his ninjas; leaving behind Logan's sword, which Mystique had taken as bait. (The sword had been offered to him when he was in Japan post-war, but after a failure in training and his wife's death, the old man who offered it never told him the sword's story or name: Logan had no one to give it to, but never felt worthy of it.) Kitty hesitates going to Logan, since this mess had gotten people killed; but one of the hostages does go to him: she's possessed by the Microverse virus, who has an offer for him. Let the virus live inside of him, and he could have his healing factor back, be like he used to be. Sure, the virus would eventually try to take over the world again, but so what? He could be himself again.

Logan says no, and the virus is destroyed by the Host. He gets up, and snaps the sword over his knee. He looks up, to see he's being watched, by the Watcher, but is more concerned with Kitty's gaze; that maybe she's seeing him for what he is. They return to the Jean Grey School, and Storm runs to Wolverine, who shrugs her off: "The Wolverine is dead now." Coming up next, Wolverine #1! Feels like a mixed signal, there. But that would be another short series, leading to Logan being dead for a couple years. I wonder if Cornell gave him any redemption in the next series: this seemed like a return to Logan feeling like he was an animal, not a man.  

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You kill Marvel's cash cow in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

This is a gimmick I didn't think Marvel was going to go back to, but I guess over a long enough timeline everything will come back around again. From 2009, X-Men Forever #10, "Home, Come the Heroes!" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Paul Smith, inks by Terry Austin, letters by Tom Orzechowski (who should get paid by the letter!)

So X-Men Forever was supposedly what Chris Claremont would have continued with the mutants, if he hadn't left in 1991's X-Men #3. I say 'supposedly,' because even at his peak popularity I can't imagine editorial letting him kill Wolverine and keep him dead. Even with his dad, Sabretooth, moving into his role--that was one of several large breaks from 616 traditional continuity. Mutants were also prone to instability and dying young (too late for Magneto and Professor X, I'd say) while Jean Grey revealed a secret (but chaste) love for Logan, and the GCD link notes Cyclops's son Nathan wasn't sent to the future, so no Cable here!

Logan's funeral is attended by the Fantastic Four, Avengers, Nick Fury, and Captain Britain; Bruce Banner also makes an incognito appearance as a flower delivery man to pay his respects. Cyclops gives the eulogy, largely to the effect that it was tough to like Logan sometimes, but you always had to respect him. Scott then flies back to Alaska, to see his family and Nathan. 

I've read a bit of this series, but never loved it; probably because I get irritated at Claremont playing favorites, especially when Nightcrawler doesn't have someone like Dave Cockrum to advocate for him. Kurt's fate is uncertain in the last issue, I swear every plot he had in the series was crapping on him.

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"The End" Week: X-Men Gold #36!

I'm almost positive there's at least one of these last issues this year where the heroes win in dramatic fashion, then go on to bigger and better adventures. It's not this one, but maybe it's around somewhere. From 2018, X-Men Gold #36, "Feared and Hated" Written by Marc Guggenheim, art by Pere Pérez.

This was from late 2018, but still feels like a million years ago from the current X-books. Part of that was by design: on the closing letters page, Guggenheim mentions the book "was conceived as a love letter to that era. Sometimes at the expense of some originality, I admit..." It may have been a bit more retro, but I did like this series more than the previous Extraordinary X-Men. On the other hand, I'm hard pressed to tell you what stuck from this run: Storm had a magic hammer, oops, lost it. Rachel Grey had a new codename--Prestige--and costume; I don't think they stuck. Nightcrawler was unkillable for a bit, that plot was just dropped. There was a replacement Pyro, but don't we have the old one back? Kitty and Colossus were about to get married, didn't; but Rogue and Gambit did, and that may be what stuck?

Kitty, Storm, Kurt, and Rachel get called on a mission, the manifestation of a new Omega-level mutant. There's a bit of the usual soap opera first: Kurt still sad Rachel declined his proposal, Storm missing the extra oomph of her lost hammer, Kitty wondering if being an X-Man is mostly just loss. The Omega kid, scared and throwing random energy blasts all over, is panicked; but Kitty talks him down to a powered-off state. He is then promptly shot by a bystander. Kurt ports them to the nearest hospital, where in the same vein, the doctor refuses to treat him: if the kid's powers went off during surgery, he could destroy the entire hospital.

Furious, Kitty runs down her options: have Kurt get Cecilia Reyes, too far. Have Rachel psychically make the doctor do it; Rachel points out that's a bit too far. Kitty's still willing, but another doctor steps up: she had met Kitty back in the first issue, when Kitty said they were going to earn back people's trust. Surprisingly, here at least, they did. The X-Men wait, into the night...and since I don't think we've seen this kid again, he maybe didn't make it. I haven't been paying enough attention, I don't know if the Krakoa mutants have brought back the forty or so Omega mutants that went out like that.

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"The End" Week: X-Men Evolution #9!

Man, if you thought I hated Cyclops before, imagine how I felt to see him mugging the Home Alone face: from 2002, X-Men Evolution #9, "House Party" Written by Jay Faerber (per the GCD, misspelled Farber in the comic) art by J. J. Kirby.

This was based on the animated series, so most of the X-Men here were high school-aged; and the adults (Beast, Wolverine and Storm) were conveniently taking the younger kids on a "training jaunt" when Professor Xavier needs to go to Oregon to investigate a mutant sighting. He's forced to leave a batch of mutant teens alone in a mansion for the weekend, what could possibly go wrong? Traditionally, probably a huge spike in the teen pregnancy rate, but this is a Marvel comic...

Word gets out the cat's away, so naturally it's party time at the X-mansion: it seems pretty out of hand to me, but I grew up in a town with a graduating class of 42, so that feels like four counties worth of people to me. The party isn't complete until the Brotherhood of Dick Mutants, Avalanche, Toad, and Blob; crash the joint. The X-Men control that damage fairly well: Kitty steers the Blob to the kitchen, where snack time takes priority; and Kurt teleports Avalanche and Toad into the woods and ditches them. (I would love it if Kurt did that every time he saw them. Like, really ditched them. Blair Witch style.) Still, once a kid starts playing in one of the professor's wheelchairs, they're about partied out. A small fire started while killing the tunes clears everyone out, leaving the team to start cleaning up.

Everything's back to normal when Professor X returns, but Cyclops still confesses. Still, that just proves the professor could trust him. As the second-biggest narc in the X-Men.

Nine issues is actually a long run for a Marvel animated tie-in. (Avengers: United We Stand got seven; I need to add that to the index...) A lot of their series wouldn't even get one; but I don't know why they've had so much trouble getting those going.
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It happens sometimes, but it feels like it's been a week or more since I've read any comics. Well, any that I'd blog, anyway. I did read a couple weeks worth of Uncanny X-Men, as X-Men Disassembled trundles on...Crap, I just had to stop and order the variant cover for #8, I'll post it when it turns up. That's fitting though, since I was mildly enjoying the series to that point, and the last two issues didn't quite sit right with me. Maybe because I had gone back and read #2-#8 at once; or maybe because I've seen the upcoming Age of X-Man solicits: the series seemed to be moving along well enough, and then moved into a hard push to a bunch of spinoff miniseries. Marvel's chasing that Age of Apocalypse high; and not for the first time; but again, hard push.

Spoiler for #9, if you're not reading week-to-week: There's also a scene where Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, who had been mind-controlled and turned into a weapon earlier in the series, is nearly taken over again. It doesn't work, since he had bagged out and sent a duplicate instead. X-Man (controlling Legion at the moment) isn't able to force him to make more dupes, and the dupe is less than thrilled with the original. I don't know if that had changed at some point, but I thought the dupes could make more dupes? Also, while he is doubtless the absolute easiest character for a writer to bring back from the dead, I don't recall if Jamie's most recent demise in Death of X was even mentioned.

Storm and Kitty also badmouth Jamie, which I thought was mean and beneath them. And unfair, since I don't recall the X-Men ever helping Jamie in the least. Storm gets taken over and turned into a "Horseman of Salvation" almost immediately thereafter; joining Magneto, Blob, and Omega Red under X-Man's control. Outpowered, the X-Men clear the benches; with a ton of mutants we haven't seen regularly getting the call. There's Meggan and Kylun from Excalibur, Dazzler, Firestar, Sunfire, Maggott...It's getting everybody in one place for that Age of X-Man, yeah. And I'm already on the hook for the Amazing Nightcrawler book, so we'll see how that goes.

Scans from Uncanny X-Men #9, "Disassembled, part 9" Written by Matthew Rosenberg, Kelly Thompson, and Ed Brisson; art by Yildiray Cinar, color art by Rachelle Rosenberg. We're up to 61 covers by the tenth issue, because Marvel, that's why. I did have a reason for ordering the variant I did, but man, that's a lot of them.
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I went to Seattle a couple weeks back, and hit a ton of comic shops; all of which were very nice, but didn't have the big bins of quarter books that I had my black little heart set on. I did get a pretty good stack of trades on the cheap, sure, but they don't fit in the scanner; and neither does one of the few cheap singles I found: from 1991, Excalibur: Air Apparent, written by Scott Lobdell, with art by Ron Lim, Dwayne Turner, Brian Stelfreeze, Jackson Guice, Rick Leonardi, Erik Larsen, and James Fry; inks by Al Gordon, Karl Story, Klaus Janson, Tom Palmer, Joe Rubinstein, Erik Larsen, and Don Hudson. And a Walt Simonson cover!

That's a pretty good roster of artists!...for a completely throwaway story. We've seen some specials that I thought were structured to be serials in Marvel Comics Presents, but this particular one was set up with seven-page chapters; MCP would've been eight. So this seems to have been meant to be like this. Huh. Lobdell wrote another one, 1992's Excalibur: XX Crossing, which was a newsstand book, not a prestige format like Air Apparent, but with a similar split-the-team set-up.

Anyway, from a S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, the Weird Happenings Organization's Brigadier Stewart (wow, I knew that was a Dr. Who homage, but it's a double one!) gives Excalibur a mission: stop a mad scientist, who among other things, had a Life Model Decoy with a nuke in it running around, and had salvaged a piece of the destroyed Air-Walker android to make a duplicate one. The team splits up to stop various threats, and while Nightcrawler shoots up the LMD with an M-60, and Kitty fights an Alien-styled robot over lava; my favorite is actually Meggan vs. Coldblood! I kinda like him as the Player-2 version of Deathlok, only he's suave and smooth while poor Deathlok is more coarse. Coldblood's like the James Bond of Marvel cyborgs...I'd mention I would like a Coldblood Marvel Legend, but poor Meggan hasn't even got one yet.

Anyway, not an essential book, but fun enough. Especially since you could probably find a copy for cheaper than the $4.95 cover now.
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We've seen bits from the start of this mini-series a couple
times, but I didn't have the first three issues until much later. Today's issue I've had since 1984--maybe not this copy next to me, but still. The X-Men and the Micronauts #4, "Doppelgänger!" Written by Chris Claremont and Bill Mantlo, pencils by Jackson "Butch" Guice, inks by Bob Wiacek.

The issue opens with Professor X creepily creeping, er, rolling, up to Danielle Moonstar; and flat-out molesting her. Xavier is being controlled by the Entity, the evil side of his personality run amok; it would be some years before I realized the Entity was supposed to look like Xavier's armor from X-Men #117, too. Still, the New Mutants were still quite new (the checklist this issue says they were on issue #14) and putting aside the fact that their teacher just assaulted the hell out of them, I think this would already be at least the second time they fought the senior team of X-Men!

Meanwhile, deep in the Microverse, the combined X-Men/Micronauts team is attacked by Baron Karza, in the body of Kitty Pryde. Keep in mind, I only had this issue as a kid! But Claremont and Mantlo catch the reader up pretty quickly. We'll pretend not to notice "bodyswap" and "team member turned evil wears less clothing" are two more bingo squares on Claremont's usual tropes...Meanwhile, at the head of Baron Karza's fleet, Kitty in Karza's body orders the bombardment of the Entity's world, but then receives a psychic flash from Professor X. Kitty/Karza teleports down to the planet's surface, but Karza's shifty underling DeGrayde "forgets" to give the order to stop the bombardment. Kitty/Karza confronts Karza/Kitty, but they are interrupted by the arrival of the heroes, which is in turn interrupted by the dying Professor X in the Entity's body, which still has a knife sticking out of its back in several panels.

Back on earth, using the power of Cerebro to amp up his own, the Entity is about to start destroying the Microverse; although the orbital bombardment might kill everyone first. Calling the heckin' awesome Bioship, the heroes first escape Karza's fleet, then the Entity's destructive blast; as the Micronauts' Fireflyte transports them back to earth. There, the New Mutants attack the Bioship, which I'm not sure I've ever forgiven them for. (Takes internal inventory, looks deep in own soul...) Nope, still mad!

Luckily, the New Mutants were still rookies, while the X-Men and Micros were pros even at their tiny size. Still, Magma causes a small volcano near the Bioship, who was hurt too badly to get away; and inside, Nightcrawler has to try to keep the Entity's body alive long enough for Professor X to take back his own. A new player then enters the fight: Kitty's dragon, Lockheed! First on the side of the X-Men, he scatters the New Mutants; but then tries to kill Karza/Kitty, since he can tell that's not his Kitty! Worse, the Entity realizes the mindswap, and furious over the deception tries to force them into each other. Not in a good way, sickos!

Professor X fights the Entity inside his own mind, and it's a quick one: the Professor gives himself a stroke, or at least pretends to, to scare the Entity to run back to his body, which dies. Also dying: the brave Bioship. The Micros are stuck on earth and the X-Men are stuck at action figure size, but Commander Rann won't ask the Bioship to sacrifice itself. (Storm acts like she would...) Fireflyte says she can get her team back to the Microverse before the Enigma Force closes it off forever; and in a way, this would be the last time they would be seen in the Marvel Universe! There were only maybe two issues of the Micronauts' first book left (and only one more issue written by series creator Bill Mantlo!) and they wouldn't appear on earth at all in New Voyages! (There was a Secret Wars II crossover, but the Beyonder went to see them, they didn't come to earth!)

I'm already sad, but the worst is here: the Bioship sacrifices itself to return the X-Men to normal size. I hope they gave him a decent burial and didn't leave his bio-corpse on the front lawn of the mansion...We've mentioned before, but this was at least the second time Professor X went bad: his evil side attacked the team in X-Men #106...a fill-in issue co-plotted by Bill Mantlo! Later Xavier would become Onslaught, or part of him; along with several other dickish, terrible things he's done since. In fact, "Dark" Xavier here destroys multiple planets in the Microverse, some of them inhabited, yet there was no editorial edict that Professor X die to pay for his crimes, as there supposedly was for Dark Phoenix. Well, they were tiny planets, anyway.

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"The End" Week: Guardians of the Galaxy #27!

Comics are weird. Most other media, if something was cancelled like three times inside of ten years, it might not be considered viable. Today's title was cancelled in 2010 with issue #25,in 2017 with #19, and in 2015 with this issue: Guardians of the Galaxy #27, written by Brian Michael Bendis, art by Valerio Schiti. (It features "The End?" on the cover!)

Star-Lord has returned to his home planet Spartax, where he had been elected president, to replace his father; but the announcement may have attracted more problems: the Chitauri and the Kindun. The former are pretty much cannon fodder (and portrayed very much like they were in the Avengers movie) while the Kindun is controlling a living planet and looking for revenge on Thanos. Which he plans on getting by killing Gamora, which doesn't sound like it would do that much to Thanos. I'm not sure killing Gamora would be easier than killing Thanos himself, for that matter. Especially since she, and Kitty Pryde, are currently cosmically powered after the Black Vortex crossover. I didn't think anyone kept their upgrades after that one, but Gamora is flying around with glowing swords, and Kitty can change to a blue form that...does something, presumably.

While the rest of the team kill a mess of Chitauri, Gamora confronts the Kindun, and offers him the chance to leave: if she really was of Thanos, she would've murdered him outright. Somewhat surprisingly, Kindun seems to go for it, and he and the Chitauri retreat. Still, Gamora leaves the team, since she feels her relationship to Thanos has put them at risk. Back on Spartax, Star-Lord's approval rating is surprisingly not hurt by the alien invasion; and as he considers taking the job Kitty tells him she's there for him to be the best version of himself he can be. (Also, since Kitty was a super-hero veteran by that point, she tells him sometimes team members have to take off for a bit sometimes.) He wasn't going to be president, though: this was the last issue before Secret Wars. (Yeesh, 91 covers for nine issues? Again, comics are weird.) Sight unseen, I'd hazard a guess that Kitty and Gamora were both depowered by the time the next Guardians series started, or pretty shortly thereafter.
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Fine, Kurt, don't tell me.

This was one of the first X-Men comics I read as a kid; it would be years before I'd see the "flying carnival wagon" incident Nightcrawler refers to there! From 1981, Uncanny X-Men #149, "And the Dead Shall Bury the Living!" Written by Chris Claremont, art by Dave Cockrum and Joe Rubinstein. (Reprinted in X-Men Classic #53.)

The issue opens with the team--a surprisingly short roster of Storm, Colossus, Wolverine, and Nightcrawler--working on the Danger Room, while Professor X worries they would soon face Magneto, whom the current roster had never beat. (Aside from flashbacks and Days of Futures Past, Mags hadn't appeared in the book since 1978's X-Men #113! A surprisingly long absence.) Did I say four X-Men? Well, they also had Kitty Pryde, who shows up wearing a new Sprite costume and roller skates, and wrecks the Professor's computer by phasing through it: the Professor hammers home that she's still a trainee. So of course, Kitty sneaks along when the team flies to Antarctica to check out Magneto's old volcano base.

Said base had been flooded with lava the last time the X-Men were there, but has been cleared out some, by what's left of Garokk: he had fallen into a pit back in X-Men #116, and Storm had been unable to save him, so now he was an angry part-crystal, part-melted rock guy. After beating the team, he creates a smaller, bottomless pit to throw Storm into; but Kitty gets the X-Men back into the fight, and Garokk takes the dive down it. Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle, Scott Summers and Lee Forester are guests of Magneto, who has risen a mysterious sunken city, and neutralized Cyclops' optic blasts! This might've been quite the cliffhanger, if I gave a crap about Cyclops. (I'm kidding; actually by this point, Cyke hadn't done any of the douchey things that soured me on the character.)

I'm positive I read X-Men #150 out of a certain spinner rack I mentioned before, but I don't think I had one for myself for some time! And my personal recollection was a bit fuzzy, I would've read both of those before 1982's X-Men Annual #6.
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