Maybe that was a load-bearing hour...

My Youngest lives in Arizona right now, so he doesn't have to mess with time-changes, but I'm not sure I mind it: I was going to say I usually start work when it's pitch-black out, but looking it up, the average sunrise time around here is 5:09 AM. But, it's still overtime season, which I'm not loving: I'm not putting in the max, which feels like leaving money on the table, but I'm there long enough that my brain is fried after. So fried, I didn't read a lot last week; but we did get to a few! From 2021, Children of the Atom #5, written by Vita Ayala, art by Paco Medina, color art by David Curiel.

This was a mini-series, set during the Krakoa era, but despite the name, the kids of the new super-team Children of the Atom weren't mutants. They had found alien tech, which with some trial, error, and after-market touch-ups; they managed to create identities resembling X-Men. They spend a good chunk of the run trying to figure out how to get to Krakoa, since the teleportation gates would usually only take mutants; but they get captured by Orchis. More specifically, Dr. Barrington and the U-Men, who seemed like white supremicists that still wanted to steal mutant powers to improve themselves. Fortunately, one of the Children, Daycrawler Nighty-Nightcrawler escaped, and returned with several real X-Men! (The kid's costume made his hands and feet look like Nightcrawler's, but were really normal.)

Also in continuity at this point, was "Kamala's Law," basically forbidding teenage superheroes; so while the X-Men are grateful for the assist and flattered by the imitations, Cyclops also tells the kids to hang it up and go home. (Which is a load, since Cyke had been one of the original new Champions; which meant he had been a teenage hero himself, twice!) But one of the kids, Gimmick, is given an invite to Krakoa, since she was developing mutant powers of her own. Which then puts her in the awkward position of living la vida Krakoa, or staying with her friends...(Spoiler: she would appear again later!)

 I got five of the six issues from the dollar bin the other day, and it's fun, with probably more teen angst and drama than has maybe been in the X-books for a while. 

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Gone for a day, runs back in like I'm coming back from a war.

Well, that wasn't so bad! Some of the remnants of my ex-table have been repurposed into keeping stuff off the ground, and I picked up a shelving unit at Lowes that took care of ten long-boxes! One more and I should be in good shape...for now, he said ominously. It's funny; for a long time, I treated stuff like longboxes, shelves, totes for toys; all unreasonable expenses that were keeping me from getting more stuff! A tirade like Peter Griffin's drug tips ("more smack in your arms") that's probably aged about as well...

But, little secret? I do enjoy the hell out of this stupid blog, and nattering on about semi-remembered comics. Like today's book!  From 1993, Dark Angel #9 "Assassination, part 1" Written by Bernie Jaye, art by Dell Barras. Cover by Bryan Hitch!

So we've seen an issue of this before (With Excalibur, of course!) and we've looked at multiple Marvel UK books, but right this very second I have no idea what Mys-Tech's end goal was? Step one: get immortality from Mephisto. Step two: spend centuries making the world awful and plotting to double-cross Mephisto somehow. Step three: profit? Dark Angel--formerly Hell's Angel for her first five issues, which all guest-star the X-Men! I don't know why the name change; if there were negative associations with the biker gang, or if the bikers had good lawyers. Anyway, Dark Angel's dad Ranulph had worked for Mys-Tech, until his death, and the Mys-Tech board was still hounding him to get some work done: they wanted his immortality research, but Mephisto had apparently killed Ranulph in the first issue, which I thought was a no-no for him. The board and Dark Angel were both looking for pieces of his soul, and the board fights through some "dead-zoners," one of whom appears to be Nighthawk, from the Squadron Supreme? We've seen other dead heroes in this series, it may have been a recurring bit.

Dark Angel gets the "Wyrd Sisters," to fight the board: they were daughters of the "Web-Spinners." Not in a Spider-Man sense, but more classical, like the Fates. The board nearly gets Ranulph's soul, which means they could then order the hit on Dark Angel's secret identity, but she fakes them out into thinking Mephisto was coming. Unfortunately, even though Mys-Tech tries to call off their hit, since Shevaune Haldane's immortality research was now needed, they can't! (I swear her civilian name is spelled six different ways in the few issues I've seen of hers! Sure enough, it's Shevaun on the Marvel Wiki.) Mys-Tech's robotic "D.O.G.s" are sniffing out Dark Angel's trail, which puts one against the X-Men at their mansion, and Dark Angel teleports in to help...to be continued, although you know what might have helped sales immensely? Maybe an actual crossover! If Dark Angel had actually appeared in Uncanny, that would've put her in front of a lot of readers.

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I'd kinda like to see this in the current X-Book!

It's a triple gatefold cover, but the front one makes it look like Rogue has fainted at DH II's manliness, while Gambit acts like he knows he's sleeping on the couch tonight. From 1992, Death's Head II #1, "The Lotus FX, part 1: X-Treme Prejudice" Written by Dan Abnett, pencils by Liam Sharp and Bryan Hitch, inks by Andy Lanning and Cam Smith.

This was Death's Head II's first regular series, and shows remarkable restraint by not putting Wolverine front and center on the cover. DH II and his sidekick Tuck were hanging out in Paxton, OR; which seemed like it would be a nice quiet place for Tuck to study the Sapphire Lotus, a mysterious power object. Instead, more and more weirdos keep showing up in town, apparently drawn by the Lotus; and some might have appeared innocent or incompetent but maybe weren't. The X-Men get involved, since whatever was happening also set off Cerebro; and decide Death's Head II is the "main aggressor" at first sight. It's a fair cop!

Psylocke, Beast, and Jubilee can't get into the back bar room where Tuck is doing something weird with the Lotus, but the Lotus lets Wraithchilde through: he had seemed like a Spawn-cosplayer, but maybe there was more to him. Rogue tries to use her powers on DH II, but he had like a hundred-and-four other personalities in there, which was too many voices for her head. Wolverine and Cyclops step up the fight...to be continued!  

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Try to imagine meeting your mom for the first time, and she's wearing those pants. Unavoidable psychic damage!

I know I read X-Man from like the fifth issue, though at least #26, but I don't think I still have most of those, and a lot of the details are pretty vague. Still, it's way longer than I ever read Cable! From 1997, Cable #44, "Temptation in the Wilderness" Written by James Robinson, pencils by Randy Green and Allen Im, inks by Scott Hanna and Scott Koblish. 

In what appears to be a musty dungeon, in a hanging cage, Nathan Summers finally comes face to face with Madelyne Pryor, his mother. Who was wearing a slightly more modest version of her Inferno outfit! Those low-rise pants maybe aren't helping...They were on the astral plane, but at Mister Sinister's old lab: Madelyne had entered Nathan's mind while he was meditating, to introduce herself, and show him her life. She also got to Nathan just before Jean Grey could warn him, that Maddy had somehow returned as a "psychic ghost," in a really tiny editorial footnote, in X-Man #25, although she had been back since X-Man #5. There had been at least one other writer on that title since then, though; #25 might've just been the reveal of 'how.'

Anyhow, Madelyne takes Nathan on a magical mystery tour, of her depressing origin and life. She also tricks Nathan into fighting an imaginary monster at Sinister's lab, just to see how far he would go to protect her. They walk and talk for two pages that are positively Claremont-esque, in that the letterer (Richard Starkings and Comicraft!) deserves combat pay: I'm only scanning part of one of those pages, because I know you probably have other things to do today. Nathan tells Madelyne, while she had a rough start, that doesn't excuse the pain she caused, and he can't feel pity for her. She changes to a slightly more demure, winter outfit; to show Nathan where she was happiest: in Alaska, the brief window of a "normal" life between Uncanny X-Men #201 and X-Factor #1. (Maybe a month between those issues actually hitting stands? Really?)

Next, a visit to New York City, which they both hate: Nathan thinks of it as Babel, "...where no one takes the time to listen and understand." Maddy's just mad she died there, and Nathan points out, wasn't she trying to sacrifice him when she died? Maddy claims that was a lie of the treacherous X-Men, and Nathan throws her off the building. Really, but it's just to transition to something he wants to show her: real evil, that of Apocalypse. Of course, even here Nathan is still Johnny Tightlips about his real goals, as he mentions "he is the one I am sworn to defeat. Perhaps not in the manner you might think, but it is still a task that requires all my attention." Ergo, no time for Ghost Mom: he doesn't consider Madelyne, as she was then, even 'real.' Madelyne comes back, if that was his real goal, why hadn't he done it yet? Why was Apocalypse still alive? A cold glower is his only response, and Maddy then pushes too far: they could take out Apocalypse, Sinister, and the X-Men. She calls mutants "evil" one too many times for Nathan's taste, and he remembers Jean raising him in the future, as his mother.

Madelyne asks if Nathan feels nothing for her, and he grudgingly admits he felt a moment of peace in Alaska; so that would be neutral territory for them, if they needed to meet. Still, he warns if she threatens innocent lives, including the X-Men, he would fight her; but Maddy still seems to take it as a win. Nathan wakes up, with Scott and Jean there for him; a moment that makes him feel like a little boy again, and he welcomes it. Probably should've ended the issue there, but nope! There's two pages with villain Ch'vayre, who...yeah, I got nothing. From the context, he had been sent from the future, to make sure Cable stuck to the right path, but seems to have decided to change tactics, and work with Sebastian Shaw and the Hellfire Club. (I would've thought Shinobi Shaw would've still been in power then!)

I wonder if this is just because I reflexively oppose Cyclops nine times out of ten, but I'm still Team Maddy? And I kind of dig her new costume as well. I'm not positive where she went from here, but I'm glad she's around again. Also, I'm not sure how long he stuck around, but this was Robinson's first issue here: I feel like a lot of this was editorial-driven, but the Babel bit definitely feels like his. That might be the first time I've seen Cable explain anything, though.

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That first panel's pretty much the reason we read this, sure.

When we checked out Uncanny X-Men #29, I mentioned how the cover didn't seem to line up with the interior; and I just read #23 and #24, and they don't either, or at least not very well. This cover has got Goth Dazzler, for reasons probably not actually within the issue: from 2014, Uncanny X-Men #24, written by Brian Michael Bendis, art by Kris Anka.

This was the, I don't know, rival schools era of X-Men? (Not to be confused with Rival Schools, which was like a million times more fun.) Some were at the Mansion, now renamed Jean Grey's School for Gifted Youngsters; while others were with Cyclops, in his red-X, "New Mutant Revolution" phase. Both factions seem to kind of hate each other, and also some people are on sides I wouldn't expect them to be on? Kitty was on Team Cyke; I'm not sure how, unless she was rebelling against her mentors Wolvie and Storm. Still, She-Hulk tells the Jean Grey crowd that Cyclops has to be there, for the reading of Charles Xavier's will. Beast says he knows where he is, although he didn't tell the others: not out of loyalty to Scott, but because he couldn't stand him and "(didn't) want my life to be his life." Rachel, Firestar, and Kurt show up; then Wolverine comes in late, to admit he didn't own the school anymore: he had signed it over to Charles, just in case. Storm fears, the will would give it to Scott; since there's no way Charles would have expected him to kill him...Beast reveals Cyclops had been hiding out, in the old Weapon X facility, as it would've been the last place Wolverine would've looked; which he seemingly accepts with a wry smile. Well played, dickhead.

There's then seven pages, with new super-mutant Matthew, who blew up a town: Maria Hill tries to talk with him via remote, but it doesn't go well; and that plot's gonna run several more issues. Yay. Storm, Iceman, and Beast go to get Cyclops: while all of the other X-Men appear to be up and in costume, Cyclops is in bed? That's weird. When told of the reading, he claims he doesn't want it, but maybe changes his mind about going when he sees Wolverine glowering at him from the plane. Illyana teleports him, Kitty, Emma, and (goth) Dazzler for the reading. The color palette this issue isn't doing She-Hulk any favors, but she reads the will; and the first bombshell was that Xavier attests he was married--not to Magneto, that would've made sense; but to Raven Darkholme. She-Hulk tries to recollect where she's heard that name, but everyone else--the X-Men and the readers!--knew her as Mystique. Before that can sink in, a Shi'ar hologram of Xavier is activated, and he tells them about compromise, and was about to reveal his darkest secret...which, I'm 90% sure ties back to Matthew. Pffft. (Just like yesterday's Deadpool, this was an Original Sin crossover; although it doesn't seem to involve Uatu's eye or anything, just a secret sin revealed.)

Hey, Magneto doesn't appear this issue? I'd be surprised if he wasn't in that will, or if there wasn't any stipulations for him to be there. Also, the reason Dazzler was going dark (figuratively speaking) was that she had been captured and tortured by Mystique: I know she's on a face-turn now, but still feels like there's a lot of things she would've had to answer for. We're a few years removed from this era, so unless you're willing to read a bunch of X-books at once, I think it might be tough to recall who did what to piss off who at any given point. A few more of Bendis's trademark wisecracks hit this month than usual, though. Read more!

Needle drop! Tired, obvious needle drop, but sure.

Huh, I thought the song started with "whoo who" or whatever. From 1987, Mephisto Vs. #2, "Sympathy for the Devil" Written by Al Milgrom, pencils by John Buscema, inks by Bob Wiacek.

It's been years since I've read this series, but I grabbed two issues from the quarter bin recently; and I think Mephisto was trying to pull a trading scheme like we saw Huey, Dewey, and Louis do, except with souls. Start with nothing, then keep trading up, until he had Thor's soul. And I think Mephisto lets slip, he started with nothing: X-Factor thought he had the Invisible Woman's soul; but he just had her as hostage. But, if they made a deal based on bad info, well, that's on them! This issue is also maybe not a load-bearing piece, but is lodged right into then-current continuity; in a brief window when X-Factor was still running their fake mutant-hunter cover, Warren was in the hospital post-Mutant Massacre, and Scott's wife and kid were MIA but presumed still alive. None of the team does real well, but Scott seems to get repeatedly clowned and/or screaming ineffectually for Jean. I had needle drops in mind, since I had been writing posts at a pretty good clip, then got sucked into watching Preacher on Shudder! It's not as good as the comic, sure; and I maybe wouldn't have made Hitler a recurring character; but I like the actors and the music. And this extrapolates from a brief scene in the book! Read more!

"I don't like huntin' kids. That ain't why S.H.I.E.L.D. is in business." Coming up next, S.H.I.E.L.D. hunts another kid.

I hadn't read this Iron Man Annual before, but maybe I had seen it referenced, by or maybe with another book that came out a week later! From 1986, Iron Man Annual #8, "When Innocence Dies!" Written by Bob Harras, pencils by Paul Neary, inks by Ian Akin and Brian Garvey. Cover by Walt Simonson!

This was set during the earliest version of X-Factor, where the original five X-Men had a front as mutant hunters. They get involved in the search for Willie Evans, a young mutant with reality-altering powers, who had a little frog in a suit named Grunt encouraging him to act out. Willie had gotten abducted by the government, and taken to Project: Pegasus to be experimented on. Current Pegasus security head Michael "Guardsman" O'Brien isn't keen on that, and neither is Iron Man when he sees some of that on a visit to drop off a new project. When the inevitable superhero fight happens, there are of course hurt feelings on both sides: while Willie was dangerous and had accidentally-on-purpose hurt some people, that didn't mean he was now a lab rat, he still had rights...I'm sorry, I can't even finish that sentence. Even good soldier Michael is sick of this, and thinks they've stretched the definition of "national security" too far. I have bad news for him, about every year since then.

Nick Fury and Reed Richards get marginally involved in the search for Willie later; neither of them happy about it but not seeing how to de-escalate the situation, either. (Willie had appeared in an earlier issue of Fantastic Four.) Anyway, Grunt turns out to be a manifestation of Willie's own anger, a way for him to vent the guilt he felt over killing his mother. Willie turns on Grunt, killing it and himself; although a sad Grunt spends the end of the issue on Willie's grave, promising to make them pay...He hasn't yet, to the best of my knowledge, but I'm more worried about how this reminded me of another book: from a week later, Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #118, "Ashes to Ashes" Written by Peter David, pencils by Mike Zeck, inks by Bob McLeod.

Because this was a Peter David book, there were more jokes here, starting with the Foreigner, disguised as a bum, stopping by to visit the Kingpin. They have a bit of lunch, and sniping with each other, as they discuss recent events in this title and Daredevil. ("Born Again" had just wrapped, I think.) They also hear an explosion downtown, which annoys the Kingpin, since he didn't have any scheduled: it was "orchids," to the Foreigner's ex-wife. I remain 100% convinced that was supposed to just be a throwaway joke, but later stories indicated his ex was Silver Sable!

But, the main point this issue, was young Alex Woolcot: his teacher catches up with Peter at the Daily Bugle. They had seen the boy was abused, and the boy's father had threatened them when confronted; and both had since disappeared. The teacher asks Peter to contact Spider-Man; snarkily, Peter asks, how? Signal-watch? This was 100% not his problem, he was trying to quit being Spider-Man, of course he's going to get involved. What they didn't know, though, was that Alex was right outside, and oh yeah, his dad was dead as hell. Monkeying around with his dad's weird science experiment ("What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?") Alex now had occasionally glowy-hands and disentegration powers. He gets spotted by the cops, who think he's a truant they can scare back to school, which of course leads to a blowed-up cop car. The cops call it in, with one suggesting X-Factor get involved, but someone else fields this one: some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, who seem to be looking for glory while Fury was away.

Following the explosion, Spidey finds Alex, and quickly gets a sinking feeling what happened to his dad. There is another fun bit, as Spidey perches on a building he thinks was "abandoned" and scheduled for demolition; a common cliche then; only to find the building packed! S.H.I.E.L.D. shows up on the scene, with a helicopter full of Mandroids: Alex stands his ground, and fries one of those "dumb robots" before realizing there was a guy in there. (The bacon scent would be a clue! Ah, he'll live.) Lethal force is authorized, and Spidey has to help Alex escape, even though he doesn't think he can control him. Spidey's a bit of a scold, too; telling Alex he shouldn't have run; but Alex tells him he almost got sent to jail when he was six for stealing a superball, and last week he disentegrated his dad; what would they do to him for that? (Thank you, Scared Straight.) After getting the Mandroids to shoot each other, Spidey nearly has Alex calmed down, just in time for a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to empty his gun into Alex's back.

His Spidey-sense went off a little late there, but should it have gone off at all? He wasn't in danger! The agent driving is heard to say, Fury would have their heads; which feels like backpedaling: just a couple bad apples, right? And if you told me there was another comic that same month with another kid killed, I kinda wouldn't be surprised? Maybe at the scheduling, more than anything? I was thinking Fury might mention S.H.I.E.L.D.'s track record versus little kids, but that wasn't here, anyway. These were probably tapping into the times, the fear that kids were becoming killers; but Marvel maybe wasn't quite ready for that story with guns. Or, maybe kid death is a cheap and easy way to make your heroes feel bad, and not winning in the end was so adult, right? Ugh, I have to stop, before I find a Power Pack issue from that month with a double-digit body count... Read more!

I'd like to read the issue this cover should've been on, not enough to read more of these, but still.

Some of this maybe aged better than I would've guessed, but again, not enough to make me want to keep reading. From 2015, Uncanny X-Men #29, written by Brian Bendis, pencils by Chris Bachalo, inks by Tim Townsend, Mark Irwin, Jaime Mendoza, Victor Olazaba, and Al Vey.

The cover appears to be a bunch of characters trying to read Charles Xavier's will over She-Hulk's shoulders; including some of Xavier's closest compatriots, Howard the Duck, the Man-Thing, Doctor Doom, and Forbush Man. I--just--anyway, that's not in this particular comic; instead, we've got Cyclops in his red-X mutant liberator/terrorist mode, trying to win over an insanely powerful new mutant, Matthew. Magneto confronts them, but while he cautions Cyke not to "poison him against me," Matthew still teleports him away, since nothing Cyke says about him was false, really.

Magik goes back in time for help with this, from Doctor Strange; who isn't thrilled about time-travel, but trains her in the use of the Eye of Agamotto, so she can see for sure if Matthew is going to be good or bad. Before they can do that, Magik, Cyclops, and Matthew are all blown to bits by what appears to be a helicarrier. But, another mutant, Eva--who looks way too much like Rogue, I assumed it was her, but it's Tempus--opts to also go back in time, to tell Professor Xavier that his plan for Matthew maybe hadn't worked out, hopefully without telling him um, his best student would kill him? This seems fairly typical for the X-books: somebody brings up, should we do this thing? Thirty seconds of debate over the morality of said thing, before somebody unilaterally decides to just do it.

Nightcrawler did not appear often in this series, but I know he's there at the reading of Xavier's will, because I've seen the scene where he flirts a bit with She-Hulk. What issue is that? Before or after this one? Read more!

It's the comic book equivalent of the Cloverfield Paradox, maybe.

In that, if you were reading comics 800 years ago in 1992, you almost certainly bought this, but does anyone remember it? X-Men Annual #1, "Shattershot, part 1: the Slaves of Destiny" Written by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Jim Lee (layouts), P. Craig Russell, Brian Stelfreeze, Adam Hughes, Stuart Immonen, Dan Panosian, Greg Capullo, and Mark Texeira; inks by P. Craig Russell, Brian Stelfreeze, Dan Panosian, Mark Texeira, Joe Rubinstein, and Harry Candelario. That was a way stronger creative lineup than I remembered for this; and one way too strong for such a creampuff of an annual. 

On Mojoworld, it's the last day of the rebellion, but not in a good way: Mojo has crushed the rebels, including capturing Quark (from the Longshot mini) but the "toymaker," Arize escapes, making a desparate extradimensional jump to earth. After some object lessons in the Danger Room, the Blue Team of X-Men is sent to scenic Afghanistan in search of a sudden alien appearance, and find Arize, who was not in great shape after the trip. A great deal is made of Spiral being the only one who could navigate the journey from Mojoworld to earth safely, but she doesn't appear here, even if she may have transported in the retrieval team Mojo has tasked with bringing back Arize. 

Despite including Gog and Magog (again from Longshot) and the brainwashed Quark, the retrievers do not fare well; with Wolverine rather callously stabbing one nobody to death. He and Psylocke seem to think the retrievers should resist Mojo, but they don't seem to have a lot of free will, and may also have hostages at home, as one cameraman tells Gambit. When the retrievers with names flee--which may involve Spiral, but isn't clear--Wolvie and Rogue nearly follow, but are stopped by Cyclops, who considers the mission complete. (Rogue and Wolvie are mildly steamed: Longshot had been missing for some time, and they angrily note he was their teammate, not Cyke's.) Back on Mojoworld, the ratings are great, but Mojo is a laughing-stock; and a shadowy figure watches and plots against him...  

I am virtually positive I had this back in '92, but had absolutely no recollection of it, and definitely hadn't read it in years. Also, I got the next chapter from the same quarter bin haul, and I'm not sure I had even seen it before, and Shattershot ran three more annuals? For some reason, I thought only two. I feel like I would've got the X-Factor Annual, but again it's like it's been wiped right out of my mind. Then again, '92 was a pretty fun year, so I may have some rough spots...

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You kill Marvel's cash cow in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

This is a gimmick I didn't think Marvel was going to go back to, but I guess over a long enough timeline everything will come back around again. From 2009, X-Men Forever #10, "Home, Come the Heroes!" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Paul Smith, inks by Terry Austin, letters by Tom Orzechowski (who should get paid by the letter!)

So X-Men Forever was supposedly what Chris Claremont would have continued with the mutants, if he hadn't left in 1991's X-Men #3. I say 'supposedly,' because even at his peak popularity I can't imagine editorial letting him kill Wolverine and keep him dead. Even with his dad, Sabretooth, moving into his role--that was one of several large breaks from 616 traditional continuity. Mutants were also prone to instability and dying young (too late for Magneto and Professor X, I'd say) while Jean Grey revealed a secret (but chaste) love for Logan, and the GCD link notes Cyclops's son Nathan wasn't sent to the future, so no Cable here!

Logan's funeral is attended by the Fantastic Four, Avengers, Nick Fury, and Captain Britain; Bruce Banner also makes an incognito appearance as a flower delivery man to pay his respects. Cyclops gives the eulogy, largely to the effect that it was tough to like Logan sometimes, but you always had to respect him. Scott then flies back to Alaska, to see his family and Nathan. 

I've read a bit of this series, but never loved it; probably because I get irritated at Claremont playing favorites, especially when Nightcrawler doesn't have someone like Dave Cockrum to advocate for him. Kurt's fate is uncertain in the last issue, I swear every plot he had in the series was crapping on him.

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I probably read this when it came out, and probably read the title for some time after this; partially on goodwill for the Simonsons, partly because comics were cheap then. From 1988, X-Factor #26, "Casualties" Written by Louise Simonson, pencils by Walter Simonson, inks by Bob Wiacek. 

This has the "Fall of the Mutants" crossover banner on the cover, but the bulk of it was over: this issue would be largely about reabilitating X-Factor's reputation, in-universe and metatextually. They had defeated Apocalypse, or at least driven him and his Horsemen away, returning Archangel to their side; but when Beast disabled the colossal Ship it had done a lot of damage before crashing in the Hudson River. This was that stretch where the human-looking Beast had super-strength, but using it made him stupider. Or more stupid? There is a great panel in What The--?! #3 lampooning his problem there...(Written by Kurt Busiek, art by Kyle Baker.)

As the team helps rescue efforts across the city, Beast was eaten up by guilt, Archangel was consumed with rage, Cyclops mistakes an endangered bystander for his presumed-dead and long-abandoned wife Maddie and confesses how he failed her, and Marvel Girl gets exhausted telekinetically carrying everybody around. Still, their efforts seem to prove their goodwill to humanity, who hails them as heroes with a bona-fide parade. (Meanwhile, unnoticed by the team, the X-Men were about to fight their final battle in Dallas, and Maddie tells Scott to find their son.)

One of the cops tailing X-Factor through the story suggests they could stay on the downed Ship, since it wasn't going anywhere (yet) and humans were electrically barred from entering it. Jean takes Scott to bed, no longer willing to "let anybody's ghost stand between us." Later, the team gets new costumes, from a grateful tailor they rescued earlier. (How he got their measurements, who knows? Maybe he was a mutant.) And Apocalypse watches, thinking the power would corrupt X-Factor soon enough...which seemingly leads back to the cover, as the team seems to be giants, towering over the Statue of Liberty and the city. Was their real fall to come?

Love the Simonsons, and see what they're trying to do here, putting to bed some of the book's problems: no more mutant-hunter cover-story, no more will-they won't-they with Scott and Jean, trying to make them unequivocally heroes. I'm not 100% sure it worked, though; I'm still mad at Cyclops, but he's had to do like three image-rehab tours since then.

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"The End" Week: X-Men Evolution #9!

Man, if you thought I hated Cyclops before, imagine how I felt to see him mugging the Home Alone face: from 2002, X-Men Evolution #9, "House Party" Written by Jay Faerber (per the GCD, misspelled Farber in the comic) art by J. J. Kirby.

This was based on the animated series, so most of the X-Men here were high school-aged; and the adults (Beast, Wolverine and Storm) were conveniently taking the younger kids on a "training jaunt" when Professor Xavier needs to go to Oregon to investigate a mutant sighting. He's forced to leave a batch of mutant teens alone in a mansion for the weekend, what could possibly go wrong? Traditionally, probably a huge spike in the teen pregnancy rate, but this is a Marvel comic...

Word gets out the cat's away, so naturally it's party time at the X-mansion: it seems pretty out of hand to me, but I grew up in a town with a graduating class of 42, so that feels like four counties worth of people to me. The party isn't complete until the Brotherhood of Dick Mutants, Avalanche, Toad, and Blob; crash the joint. The X-Men control that damage fairly well: Kitty steers the Blob to the kitchen, where snack time takes priority; and Kurt teleports Avalanche and Toad into the woods and ditches them. (I would love it if Kurt did that every time he saw them. Like, really ditched them. Blair Witch style.) Still, once a kid starts playing in one of the professor's wheelchairs, they're about partied out. A small fire started while killing the tunes clears everyone out, leaving the team to start cleaning up.

Everything's back to normal when Professor X returns, but Cyclops still confesses. Still, that just proves the professor could trust him. As the second-biggest narc in the X-Men.

Nine issues is actually a long run for a Marvel animated tie-in. (Avengers: United We Stand got seven; I need to add that to the index...) A lot of their series wouldn't even get one; but I don't know why they've had so much trouble getting those going.
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"Needed."

Ooh, I hate when I forget to write any commentary, but there's not much except "The X-Men are kind of jerks sometimes." And that's outside of the Power/House of X whatever stuff lately: I'm aware of it, but haven't read it all yet. So of course there are Nightcrawler variants coming to rope me in there.

Storm gets put into the background in this one, and I still feel like that's the case in the real X-books as well. She's not my favorite, but it still feels like she's being benched a bit. And her figure there may be the most in-demand of the recent Retro carded X-Men, but the legs on mine were soft. She may have trouble standing later.
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