Either there's a theme this week, or I'm Groundhog's Day'ing...

There might be a bit that seems familiar this issue, but by god they put a great spin on it. From 1999, Avengers #23, "Showdown" Written by Kurt Busiek, pencils by George Perez, inks by Al Vey.

The entire creative team was firing on all cylinders, and today so was Captain America, recently reunited with his shield after several months with that photonic replacement. Running a training mission in the Mansion, Justice also seemed to be in gear as well; seemingly over his stage fright, even with a broken leg. But, today's main drama was yet to come, as Wanda goes to have a talk with the Vision. She knew he still loved her, even if she was with Wonder Man now; the Vision says, that's his problem, not hers. Simon tries to make things better, by busting in and saying Vision shouldn't bottle up his feelings, and boy, does he uncork something. (The Starkings/Comicraft lettering? Chef's kiss. So good.)

Vision just wants Wanda to be happy, but does have a bone to pick with Simon: he likes jazz! Pretentious bastar--no, that's not the main issue; he also likes chess and Walt Kelly. Simon is thrilled: his brother, Eric, the Grim Reaper, wasn't into any of that stuff; but he and Vision had things in common. This catches Simon a sock to the jaw, since he was missing the point in an epic fashion. And then we pause for a big preview of Doomsday and Young Allies, which really should've had some credits: I'm pretty sure that's Mike McKone and Mark Bagley, respectively.

Wanda is surprised Vision would lash out like that--um, they're superheroes, that's how they work through stuff usually?--and Vision apologizes and takes off, with Simon right behind him. Vision admits, he feels like he was a complete fake: everything he was, was just a copy of Simon's brain engrams: they both had a type, apparently, namely Wanda. He was a pale reflection, no longer needed, but at least Wanda was with the real thing now. Simon turns that back on him, though; surprised Vision didn't know how much Simon envied him. He had made a lot of bad choices, from embezzling from his company to signing up to get super-powers from Baron Zemo; yet had been forgiven or even praised for his 'bravery' over and over. To Simon, the Vision was the best version of himself. Taken aback, Vision needs to think about that, and takes off; leaving Simon to wonder if he would be back...or if he was just something else he had broken. 

The Vision's "am I a real boy" fit has been done a few times, before and since, and swings pretty wildly from writer to writer: I think he is 'real,' with authentic feelings and thoughts, but feels like he has to act like he's just an automaton. Also this issue: the ongoing protests at Avengers' Mansion, with a seeming laundry-list of grievances. Foremost today, the lack of diversity in the current team roster, which would be addressed later. And new bad guys the Exemplars continued to grow their numbers: they were all avatars of assorted Marvel Universe magic, and technically Juggernaut was one of them, even if he doesn't want in...And, a favorite Bullpen Bits strip from Chris Giarrusso!

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I wasn't expecting some of the shots this book takes, but I wasn't expecting H.E.R.B.I.E. on the prowl, either.

I needed a light, cheery, fun book to read to get my mind clear; luckily I had just picked up a bunch that fit the bill! From 2008, Skrulls vs. Power Pack #2, "U.G. Universal Gangstaz" Written by Fred Van Lente, art by Cory Hamscher.

The Power Pack kids have been dragged off to space jail Hadith-VI, but luckily their pal Franklin Richards is following in their smartship Friday. I don't think he ever appeared in the original series, but accompanying Franklin is his robot sitter H.E.R.B.I.E, who is also a million times better comic relief now than he was on the old Fantastic Four cartoon. It's like it took a few versions...

Power Pack manages to free themselves and join Franklin, but feel they have to clear their names before they can return to earth, or more and more bounty hunters would just come after them. They haven't been missed at home yet, since they've been replaced by Skrulls! They plan on using their "dad" to gain access to SWORD, but the Skrull commander "Katie" is perturbed that private "Jack" is a little too into his role as a preteen layabout.

Back in space, the real Jack has a plan to lure out the fake Pack: pretend to be the fakes, do some crimes, and lure them out. He doesn't explain it well, but it's still a solid scheme, even if they have to dress 'gangsta' to sell the role. They build their rep by picking a fight with the Kree "crew of the Gestalt schooner the Marvel..." Hey, that sounds familiar.

Yeah, that's from Grant Morrison's Marvel Boy! I did not expect a shot at that here.

Also this issue: four Mini-Marvels pages from Chris Giarrusso! It's the Fantastic Four vs. Skrulls, and I had seen part of this before, but still a treasure.


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The lead doesn't live up to the cover, but I'm not sure it could.

From 2008, Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #40, "A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste" Written by Chris Eliopoulos, art by Scott Koblish; "The Image is the Thing" Written by Joe Carmagna, pencils by Matteo Lolli, inks by Christian Della Vecchi, and a Mini Marvels strip from Chris Giarrusso.

The lead story guest-stars Iron Man, with Pepper and Rhodey cameos; and the bad guy's the Mad Thinker, who may have finally cracked mass-production on his androids: he has three of his Awesome Androids, and the bulletheaded other model seems familiar too. Infiltrating a science exhibition, the Thinker drains Reed's brains to power his supercomputer. Sue and Iron Man talk a big game, but get manhandled by the androids until Reed takes over the computer. The Thinker skips out in the end, since he was broadcasting to a robot duplicate, and Reed reinstalls himself in his body.

Meanwhile, back at the Baxter Building, Ben gets a lecture from an image consultant, since sales are down on Thing merch. To soften his image, Ben has to take a kid in the Big Brother program, and an incredulous Torch bets that Ben loses the kid before the end of the day. Well, of course, they're in the Baxter Building, possibly the most dangerous place for anyone, anywhere, ever. In short order, a giant blob is attacking the city; as Ben tries to reassure his charge that he's not in trouble.

Also this issue: more Skrull tomfoolery from Chris Giarrusso. He's great!

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For some reason, I was expecting this to be smutty...

Even though I bought it used from EntertainMart, when I got Green Lantern: Intergalactic Lawman it was shrink-wrapped. I was afraid Hal was going to go full-frontal...Anyway, it was okay? I did appreciate how Morrison is completely unafraid to take an idea or plotline another writer would give six issues and burn through it in a few pages. Although, I swear a couple plot points had been done fairly recently even, like the Darkstars or Hal supposedly going renegade.

Another pickup this week that won't really fit in the scanner? Tom Peyer and Chris Giarrusso's Hashtag: Danger. (With Randy Elliott and Andy Troy.)
It's kind of a riff on adventurer-hero types like the Challengers of the Unknown, if they weren't really heroic, mostly hated each other, and were generally thoughtless. So, lots of laughs! It's "Rated P for potty-mouthed adults," which was a bit of a surprise with Chris G.'s art. Give it a try!
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Somehow, the Ghost isn't in this one.

And neither is Iron Man 2020, despite appearances. From 2008, Marvel Adventures: Iron Man #7, "Ghost of a Chance" Written by Fred Van Lente, pencils by Graham Nolan, inks by Victor Olazaba.

Tony bails on this year's Stark International corporate retreat, since he's working on a new subterranean armor; which, oddly enough, also wouldn't really appear here! (EDIT: Honestly, I thought Tony was going to dig his way there...) Rhodey and Pepper are in the Balkans, on their way for a fun weekend of skiing, until a tractor beam pulls their plane into possibly the strictest no-fly zone in the world: Latveria! Dr. Doom contacts Tony by hologram, claiming to have "thwarted your clumsy attempt at industrial espionage" but he will pardon the "spies" if Tony gives up his "cosmic ray decontamination device." Tony has a pretty good idea why Doom wants that, so he has to try something else: can't storm the castle in regular armor, though. Instead, he opts for his new Ghost armor!

Like the more common stealth armor, this version didn't have any weapons; moreover, Ghost didn't even have boot-jets! Tony has to parachute in and sneak around, and discovers Doom keeps his subjects from receiving outside information and on a steady diet of fearmongering propaganda. In the Latverian fake-news reports, the 2020-looking Iron Man is a cruel oppressor of the workers, the tool of "robber baron Tony Stark!" I'm hoping that's fake news, anyway. Tony is nearly discovered by Kristoff--not the boy that Doom would turn into a version of himself, but a Chihuahua? Tony manages to outwit the dog, before Doom finds him, and points out one of his major foes is a woman that can literally turn invisible, so he had kind of put some prep time into that.

Doom puts Iron Man on a somewhat campy show trial, but Tony had his defense all lined up: a secret transmitter, that would start broadcasting western media all over Latveria if anything happened to him. Probably because we're running out of pages, Doom blinks, freeing everyone. Tony still has cartoons and news on every TV in the country, though. Seems like the classy thing to do would be to cancel your threat when you're out of danger, but okay. Also this issue: another Chris Giarrusso Mini-Marvels page! Man, I miss those.
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Have I done that thing lately, where I was looking for a specific comic, then don't find it and post something else? Well, we're doing that today. From 2008's Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #31, a Chris Giarrusso Mini Marvels strip!


I kind of love how Cyclops is still shooting after he realized it was Wolverine.

I actually was going through a big box of Fantastic Four comics, looking for Fantastic Four Annual #18, since it features the Kree and Skrull observers from X-Men #137, still shooting at each other in the Blue Area of the Moon, almost ten years later. I was thinking of that issue, since I checked out the Marvel Legends Kree/Skrull Soldier two-pack, which I should've bought years ago if I wanted it, since it's way too expensive now. And I was thinking of that, since I bought a figure on eBay that was part of a two-pack, and probably cost me as much as a two-pack. I don't usually buy one for the price of two, but we'll see that figure later.
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Even running out of cereal is cause for depression now. You're welcome.

Is there a word in English, for that queasy, uncomfortable feeling you get in your gut, when you see someone being completely and utterly screwed over, like Charlie Brown in an old Peanuts strip? And not quite in the way like he's running at the football, and surprise, Lucy pulled it away again; but instead the shafting is novel, surprising, and goes on for an appallingly long time. Because Chris Giarrusso nails that feeling of injustice making your tummy hurt, in "Cereal Quest" from Spidey and the Mini Marvels #1.

The GCD's synopsis reads "Wolvie has a number of adventures buying a box of his favorite cereal after his thoughtless teammates devour the last bowl." 'Adventures,' may not be the right word; as they seem like the same adventures Sisyphus had. "Kafkaesque" would be another word for it. And that's for a sixteen page story where Wolverine goes to the store. (A younger, cuter Wolverine, but that just makes it weirder.)

After the dickish X-Men eat all of Wolvie's cereal, he angrily slashes the table and stomps off to get more. Short-cutting through the woods, Wolvie frees a bear cub from a bear trap; for his trouble, the bear mom drives him out of there. Literally, with a driver. (That sets up an offhand joke later, but it's just weird.)

Hit by a car, Wolvie's admantium skeleton and healing factor mean he'll be fine, but the driver yells at him for denting his car. Next, at the supermarket, Wolvie is too short to reach the last box of X-Crunch. Asking a shopper to get it down for him, he's a little too enthusiastic, and the shopper keeps it for her daughter. He goes to a stockboy to ask for more, and is told to cram it; so drastic measures have to be taken...

This next sequence just makes my tummy hurt every time I read it: at the counter, the salesgirl asks Wolvie where his mommy is. "I don't have one. I'm an orphan." "Nonsense! Everyone has a mommy! You probably just haven't looked for her hard enough." Giarrusso's Wolvie is far more controlled than the typical Marvel version, who probably would've stabbed everyone in the store by now, but it's just getting started. The salesgirl tells Wolvie the register is jammed, but suggests he doesn't really need a receipt. Or a bag. Fine, until Wolvie gets stopped by the manager for shoplifting, who takes him back to the register.

To further ice the cake, outside Wolvie's attacked by Sabretooth, Toad, and the Blob. By this point, even in a kid-friendly book, readers would completely understand if Wolvie cut the lot of them into strips; but he settles for outsmarting the Blob, then getting a helping golf-club from the momma bear...

Finally back home, Wolvie pours himself his long-awaited cereal, and then, no milk. Luckily, at least one of his teammates isn't a dick: Nightcrawler!

I'm pretty sure Nightcrawler just stole that milk. Good for him. Still, if you think that means a happy ending for Wolvie, you haven't been paying attention. Also, Cyclops continues being a complete tool, for good measure. And for further depression, as Comic Book Legends Revealed pointed out, Giarrusso's Mini-Marvels were phased out for inferior Superhero Squad strips--in the style of the toys and cartoon, but not as good.

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Thor should've done this years ago:

Even though I don't buy Thor every month (like a lot of Marvels) a big anniversary/round number issue like #600 will usually get me to take a look. And if it's got a Chris Giarrusso Mini-Marvel's strip like "Welcome Back Thor"? All the better! Recapping every thing from Thor's return, running through events from Civil War, Secret Invasion, and Thor's own book; this one also has the best comeuppance for Loki we've seen since Thor broke his arm back in Walt Simonson's last issue.

Oh, and the rest of Thor #600 is pretty good, too...
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Need a comic book and a bean burrito? Then you're in luck!

The Beat turned me onto this first: Marvel Comics, in Taco Bell's kids' meals this week! (Be sure to ask first, OK? I don't want you to buy a half-dozen kids meals just to get Little Einsteins non-chokable toys...) The Oldest and I went the other day, and got a couple of the books. There's Iron Man, Thor, Fantastic Four, and Avengers. (The panel above is from the Avengers issue.) They aren't bad (we don't have the Iron Man one yet!) but the best thing about them? Each one has a Chris Giarrusso Mini Marvels strip!

Per CBR's Comic Book Legends Revealed, Mini Marvels is being phased out to be replaced by the more-kiddy Superhero Squad, so enjoy them now! I would read a monthly Mini Marvels, for dead certain, and I reckon I'll have to keep an eye out for Giarrusso's own book, G-Man!

Something a little different today: I have two or three little posts that I need to finish, so I'm just going to put them up as they're done. As usual, no reason, just because.

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