Pretty sure I've ggnmornf'd on a first date, but I don't have self-respect...

60% sure I've bought this issue three times--not just because of the cover! Well, maybe. From 1989, Time Twisters #19, featuring more sci-fi shorts from the pages of 2000 AD, including two--no, three!--from that specific issue! Cover by John Workman.

"It's the Thought that Counts!" is a Peter Milligan/Steve Dillon number--the blond spaceman's chin is immediately recognizable as one of Dillon's! Two spacemen are on a secret mission for the ultimate weapon, although one plots to kill the other as soon as he can grab it. Also, I don't know if trial-and-error is the best way to try their grab-bag of weapons out...

"The Contract" is the first from 1984's 2000 AD #374, as a businessman misses his train, but a meek salesman then sells him a watch that can turn back time! A steal at five pounds...and his soul. Can the businessman get out of the deal? Or, judging by his actions cooking the stock market, did he deserve hell? (Written by Chris Lowder (credited as J. Adrian) and art by Massimo Belardinelli.)

"What's Up, Dock? is a bit of fun, with a shout-out for 2000 AD's editorial frontman Tharg the Mighty: the massive new supertanker Juggernaut was speeding to New York City, with only one crewmember. With all the computers, the captain was all that was needed, and even he was checking out for a nap...as a seagull gets in, and hopping on the keyboard, makes a few course adjustments, like full speed ahead! (Written by Alan Hebden, art by Jose Casanovas.) This and "Uncommon Sense" were from 1984's 2000 AD #372, the editor of this issue must've had an easy time of it! "Uncommon Sense" was by Hebden again, with Mike Collins on art, for a Twilight Zone-like short where an alien scientist attempts to help earthlings with their meager, paltry senses; by increasing them immensely. Results are mixed, as in, three deaths right off. Back to the drawing board there.

Hebden and Casanovas again, for "Working on a Chain Gang..." as three convicts think their luck has turned, when aliens abduct them...because there's a market for experienced slaves. (Sad trombone noise.) And another double-cross in "The Ghost Outside the Machine" from Milligan and Casanovas: a space miner shoots, then spaces his partner, but is haunted by his partner seemingly haunting him every time he looks out the window. Or, there might be a (slighty un)reasonable explanation. "The Art of Advertising" finds an ad agent scrambling after blowing his budget on a big sci-fi campaign, only to be told nostalgia was in now. But, when he hears about a mad scientist who claims to have invented a time machine, an idea is formed...that of course goes awry, that's just the style of these stories, sorry. (Written by Kelvin Gosnell, art by Massimo Belardinelli.)

Finally, "You Win Some, You Lose Some..." is Hebden with classic 2000 AD mainstay Ian Gibson: with earth under siege by the alien Grodge, a desperate back-up plan is put into place, to move the entire planet for safety! And for security reasons, only one man should be trusted with where...yeah, that's gonna go well. 

 For some reason, I seem to find this issue fairly regularly, but I'm not sure I've ever seen Time Twisters #18.

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I'm pretty sure this was my second issue of Judge Dredd, but this was Quality: previously I had read Eagle's Judge Dredd #8, and it would be yeeeeeeears before I got to read like that last 8 damn pages of "The Cursed Earth!" But this particular issue was all standalone stories, even if a few referenced past continuity I wouldn't have seen at that point. From 1987, Judge Dredd #7, written by Alan Grant and John Wagner.

"The Greatest Story Ever Told" starts with a cult forming forming around the late Fergie, then escalates to a giant robot Fergie, and ends with a crazed robot programmed by an insane director to finish his epic film. Don't think being a robot will save you from a lengthy sentence! But, I hadn't read the old progs with Fergie yet, nor had I read the tale of Mega-City 1's current mayor, Dave the orangutan. Despite not being able to talk (or perhaps because he couldn't) Dave was an immensely popular figurehead: I don't think the mayor actually had any power or control over the Judges; but he comes to a bad end in "Death of a Politician." (Art for both by Steve Dillon.)

Dredd makes a wellness check on a couple not seen for a couple weeks, and discovers "Something Abnormal about Norman," their robot servant. Who thought they would be happier if they didn't complain all the time, so he strangled them, and they seem much happier now! Dredd is mildly disgruntled when told Norman probably isn't a one-off defect, but a design flaw...probably affecting maybe 14 thousand robots. There's a recall, and Dredd comes down on the head of the robot company, although 10 years for negligent manslaughter feels a bit light: usually, he would be like 10 years, per count, and there were 7 deaths. (Art by Cam Kennedy.)

Lastly, a story featuring Max Normal, one of Dredd's informants. Eh, not great, but it's probably either Brett Ewins or Brendan McCarthy on art. Ah, but the ads throw the doors open for good stuff: Halo Jones, book three! Alan Moore and Alan Davis's D.R. & Quinch's Totally Awesome Guide to Life! Dredd reprints with Bill Sienkiewicz covers! Strontium Dog and Slaine getting their own regular books! And it's a reprint, but there's also a Judge Death special listed; which a brief search didn't turn up online. I know Quality would reprint those stories later, but that looked like a nice package to have them in. The Midnight Surfer book was also hyped, that definitely did come out, but checking this list of Quality titles, maybe that Judge Death didn't make it out the door.

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Lot of set-up this issue, but my god, that cliffhanger.

From 2016, Punisher #2, written by Becky Cloonan, art by Steve Dillon.

This series didn't feature the usual grizzled-looking Frank from Dillon, but a more Netflix-ready version, looking like forty years younger! Working on a mercenary group, Condor; who are pushing new super-soldier style drug EMC; Frank is following clues left by an old Marine buddy and former Condor member. This leads to a drug deal set up by Face, Condor's main "hatchet-man." Frank guns down everyone else there, including a couple crooked local deputies, but when Face snorts up some EMC he's able to fight Frank to a standstill and escape. Frank is left fuming, as the cops and DEA are closing on him, partly because he's ruining their case against Condor by murdering them all. Well, boo-hoo. 

Meanwhile, in Vermont, a militia type takes a moment from abusing his young daughter Juniper, to tell his boys to get ready for the coming Punisher. He seems confident, because he's got a "special surprise" all set up:

Well, that is dark. One surefire way to write a Punisher story is to make sure the reader doesn't feel sorry for the bad guys in the slightest, so Frank can go to town on them, and mission accomplished there. Sadly, the great Steve Dillon passed away not long after this issue: I'm not positive he's the artist I've seen most on Punisher, but he could be.

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Buying my Super-Skrull on the installment plan.

Well, at least we have our updated Fantastic Four! I'm sure they're thrilled--

Yeah, Reed's stretchy fingers creep me out too; but if I could put my finger--so to speak--on why...

Hmm. I guess 'sausage fingers' would usually be short and stubby, but I still find the stretchy fingers gross. Is that used more often recently? I'm used to a stretchy-fist punch, and Reed has a stretch-stomp in Contest of Champions that seems pretty effective. That game seems mostly on-point as far as character models too; since I think there were other characters whose appearance in-game indicated a new figure forthcoming.

Speaking of games, the only Spider-Man figures I've seen have been the Gamerverse versions. And several of them, now. I worried that White Rabbit was going to be a pegwarmer, but not yet anyway.

I haven't posted a ton from Preacher, but this was from my first single issue: I picked up the trades up to that point, then read it in singles the rest of the run. From 1997, Preacher #27, "Gunchicks" Written by Garth Ennis, art by Steve Dillon.
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I have to wonder if that affects the page rate...

I mentioned always being up for a Quality/Fleetway reprint, but I bought this one and felt a little burned by it. (So to speak...) Which didn't stop me from picking up another quarter-book copy of it to blog about it! From 1987, Sam Slade, Robohunter #6, featuring a Ro-Busters story written by Alan Moore with art by Steve Dillon! Which is probably why I could've picked up another three or four copies if I wanted to: I'm pretty sure the name of Alan Moore was a selling-point by this time, so why not reprint some of his old 2000 AD work for a quick buck? Which is fine, most of that stuff probably hadn't been widely seen in America.

All well and good, except as the GCD points out, "Bax the Burner" was originally a six-page story, expanded to nineteen by enlarging panels! (Marvel and other companies would use a similar technique in their Marvel Illustrated Books paperback reprints; but those were different page sizes.) So it doesn't read especially well, but it was a bit slight anyway: a pyrokinetic mutant stalks his former nurse, having fallen in love with her.

(That song is far better known for the cover by A Perfect Circle, which is neither here nor there.)
Ro-Busters Hammerstein and Ro-Jaws manage to blow up Bax after he turns on his "love," and that's that. Hammerstein also appears in the next story, which continues from their last reprint appearance in Rogue Trooper #5: putting his team together, 'Stein fights the mysterious, mystical Deadlock and brings him onboard, but balks at his next potential recruit, General Blackblood. ("The Tournament of the Damned" Written by Pat Mills, art by Brett Ewins.)

Finally, it was Sam Slade's title, but his story was pushed to the back of the book! Framed, Slade may face a prison worse that Judge Dredd's iso-cubes: New Sing-Sing, a prison with mandatory songs, robot guards, wardens, and doctors! None of which are big fans of Robo-Hunters like Slade, but to investigate the planned "Day of the Droids" he'll have to break out...which means relying on his self-appointed assistant, Hoagy. (Story by Alan Grant, art by Ian Gibson.)

The print and color quality isn't great in this one, but I like ABC Warriors and Sam Slade, Robohunter enough to pick up cheap reprints; I wouldn't spring for glossy paper and archival collections.

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I was considering saving this for the end of the year:

Sometimes, a good plot engine will eventually have to be replaced: eventually, Gilligan has to get off the island; or the viewers will get sick of watching characters continually get nowhere. Hunting someone for revenge? Pretty good plot driver, especially for a Genetic Infantryman accompanied by his three biochipped comrades on the battleground planet Nu-Earth. This new plot, though...from Rogue Trooper #41, "The Hit, conclusion" Written by Steve Dillon, art by Chris Weston.

The current premise was, aliens approached Rogue with the opportunity to possibly end the war, by assassinating certain key figures. Out of a dozen, Rogue's finished eleven, but is confronted by Ingrid, who had been tailing him for some time: she had discovered the aliens' intent was less than altruistic, and they were in fact manipulating not just Rogue, but just about everyone, to destroy themselves and clear the aliens' invasion.

The last target had been collaborating with the aliens, so Rogue gives him a one-way ticket to Nu-Earth. But Rogue's tired of war, and since he thinks the aliens will be coming after him, he leaves his friends Helm, Gunnar, and Bagman with a friendly scientist, who puts their biochips in new, infant bodies. This would be the conclusion of the current plot for Rogue Trooper, and most of his appearances afterwards were either flashbacks or an entirely new continuity.

Also this issue: a couple chapters of Ace Trucking Co. They're horrible. Any British fans remember them fondly? Were there extra pages in 2000 AD that needed filling? I know the weekly has been all killer, no filler for the last few years...
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"The End" Week: PunisherMAX #22!

We said before, there's only one way Frank Castle's story ends: here's another. From earlier this year, PunisherMAX #22, "War's End" Written by Jason Aaron, art by Steve Dillon.

Wilson Fisk is dead, and after a shootout, so are a number of his employees...and Frank Castle, the Punisher. Nick Fury ID's the body, and while the detectives at the morgue claim Frank had gone crazy--tortured a cop, killed the "respected businessman" Fisk--Fury calls that the crap it is. Next, Fury visits the Castle home: Frank had been forced to hole up in the abandoned house he lived in with his family, before they were murdered. A stack of Frank's war journals is found; Nick clears the building before examining one:

Finding a flame-thrower, Nick torches the house. An underling (either one of Fury's men, or a cop or fed) protests that was a crime scene; Nick points out anyone dead there had been so for years.

After a few pages to check on Vanessa "Madame Kingpin" Fisk and the paralyzed Elektra, we check in on the Punisher's funeral. The press questions Fury on his way out, but he's got nothing to say to them. While he kills Vanessa, Fury muses that Frank didn't really accomplish anything: all the murdering and suffering, for nothing. Later, in a bar, as Nick begins his labor-intensive drinking, a news report catches his eye: across the city, vigilantes are rising up against gang members, ponzi schemers, and so on. Nick figures Frank got his eulogy after all...

I hadn't been reading Punisher regularly since Garth Ennis finished his run; I may not have been the only one, since I don't think sales ever recovered. Still, this was a solid finish to the series; although I wonder how long it would be before the Punisher-inspired vigilantes abused the authority they retook. After all, we saw Steve Dillon draw bad vigilantes the Holy, Mr. Payback, and Elite back in the Garth Ennis/Marvel Knights Punisher series!

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Ah, I love it when the quarter bins cough up a book I had forgotten I needed. In this case, Quality Comics Judge Dredd #2. These would be reprints of stories that originally appeared in 2000 AD, but I'm almost positive I read the first half of this issue's tale, in another reprint...a later numbered issue of Dredd, from Quality...huh?

At any rate, it's a great opener: Dredd has gone down into the lawless undercity to find and neutralize the source of the radioactive element Cassidium, the cause of a race of savage werewolves. Hell, yes. I know "Cassidium" was named after the tech-judge who isolated the substance, which is probably the only perk of being a tech-judge; and the werewolves aren't the traditional silver-bullet types, but their bite does transmit werewolfism. (And hey, Bully: this issue's chock full of Arrooo!

"Cry of the Werewolf" Written by John Wagner, art by Steve Dillon. Fun to see a straight action story from Dredd, and it's nice to see early Dillon art.
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Even if they never make a Preacher movie...I'd be OK with that.

From Preacher #32, "Snakes in the Grass" Written by Garth Ennis, art by Steve Dillon. Re-read all of Preacher last week, as I do every year or so, and it still holds up great. It's an odd one for me to go through, since I didn't start the single issues until #27; I have the trades up to there. As opposed to a series like Transmetropolitan, which I have as all issues, or 100 Bullets, all trades. (I still have to finish that one, though.)

Somewhere during Preacher's run, Vertigo phased out letters pages, which is a shame, considering it featured such great moments as #34, where Garth Ennis discusses his greatest irrational fear. It's crude and hysterical, so go find a back issue: you miss out on that kind of thing with trades, or at least you used to.

Hmm. This is the second time this week I'm bringing up something I'm not going to tell you. Jerk...
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Your Happenstance panel for today:

Ah, but it's a big panel, a page and a half from The Atom Special #1, "Shrinking from the Past" Written by Tom Peyer, art by Steve Dillon, of Preacher and Punisher fame.

Ray Palmer isn't doing well: his old friend Professor Hyatt has a ticking clock face stuck to his own face, the usual suspect Chronos is comatose, and Ray himself is tripping something fierce. He's been having visions of those he's lost: Laethwen, his tiny alien girlfriend; Adam Cray, his replacement that was killed in Suicide Squad; and his own father. Oh, and as a bonus, Ray keeps seeing his wife Jean Loring at the moment he first saw her cheat on him. The Atom's just about ready to give up and check out of society...when his friend Norm walks in and sees the visions too. Kind of tough to gaslight someone when there's witnesses, but I love the term "gaslight" as a verb.

Good stuff, even if it's lessened by the fact that years later, Ray finally would shrink himself out of our world, for a couple years after Identity Crisis.

The real world's intruded on blog time a bit this week, but we should be a bit more back on track next week. Might even get to see Watchmen and do my part to save future mature-themed comic book movies, as is apparently my sworn duty that I don't remember swearing to...
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