The Rogue Trooper movie may have recently finished, but I'm not sure if it has been released yet, especially stateside. I have fairly high hopes for it; I kinda figure it'll be not unlike Shin Kamen Rider, as in, a very well-executed love letter to the source material that the average American has never heard of. While we wait, we might as well hit an issue I'm not sure I'd read before: from 1987, Rogue Trooper #7.

The opener, "The Body Looters" and the issue's closer "The Assassination Run" both feature war-scavengers Mr. Brass and Mr. Bland, who are making a tidy sum pillaging battlefields for weapons and equipment to resell, and both get little dollar-signs for eyes at the thought of Rogue catching a bullet and being able to loot all his stuff. They aren't dumb enough to try that themselves, though; and shouldn't they see little pound signs, or whatever the hell British money is? (Tuppence? Shillings? Half-a-farthing? Completely made-up bul--) But later, Brass and Bland had unauthorized access to the satellite spy cameras surrounding Nu-Earth--all the better to see prizes to be picked up--and see Rogue infiltrate the Norter victory rally at Nu Nuremburg. They try to sell that info to the Norts, but no sale: the Norts say they'll find Rogue themselves, and they'll find those two as well. Despite the interference, Rogue still manages to kill two out of four Nort generals there, getting revenge for Dix-1; but now back to his usual quest to find the traitor that betrayed the Genetic Infantrymen. (Written by Gerry Finley-Day, art by Cam Kennedy.)

Surprisingly, there's an Alan Moore/Brett Ewins story here as well, from the 1983 2000 AD Annual. Rogue and the guys meet a young Souther point man, with "Pray for War" on his helmet. While they work together briefly, Rogue (or rather, Gunnar) has to kill Pray when he wants to take out a truck full of Nort women and children, visiting for Christmas.

"Hats Off to Helm" finds Helm getting the guys in trouble, as his chinstrap had rotted away in the corrosive atmosphere. But, Helm has Rogue throw him on a grenade later (a dud!) and then saves Rogue from some Nort bullets, so he was getting maybe a bit big-headed. Rogue worries that between that, Gunnar's trigger-happiness, and Bagman's unpredictability; how long can he rely on his friends? (Also written by Gerry Finley-Day, art by Cam Kennedy.) 

If you're old enough to remember KB Toys, you may have seen the 2000 AD action figures from Re:Action in 1999--I'm not positive that was the year those come out, but even so, that was a million years ago! Rogue didn't get a figure in that six-figure series, but HIYA Toys has one coming soon. He would be a bit spendy, but comparable to other not-quite-mass-market/semi-fancy 1/12 figures. I am tempted...I also need a replacement Strontium Dog. Ugh, maybe I'm doing more overtime this week...

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We may be doubling-down on Quality/2000 AD reprints this week, but I remember the cover for this issue from the sell-through house ad on the backs of other Quality books that month. It was pretty unlike the others, but it might not be representative of what actually happens this issue, either! From 1988, Halo Jones #7, "The Last Dance" Reprinted from 1985's 2000 AD #414 and #415. Written by Alan Moore, art by Ian Gibson. Cover by Bart Sears!

After her battle with Toby the robot dog, Halo had been assigned "complete relaxation," and was chilling with the ship's dolphin--years before Star Trek had them, although I don't know if this dolphin does any proper duties! Her friend Toy wants her to get out of the water, and get kitted up for a party; this one thrown by the ship's owner, Lux Roth Chop. There is a moment in their cabin, that Halo and Toy both feel like something was missing, but eventually decide it wasn't important.

The party was maybe Halo's last chance to bag a guy she'd had her eye on, but he's poached by a glamourous, and entitled-seeming, woman. Halo has to stop her to ask, since she finally places her voice, as that of newscaster "Swifty Frisko." She has a laugh about that, since that was computerized and merely a hologram; perhaps either done for a lark or residuals. Halo is left wondering how she can tell her friend Rodice that Swifty Frisko stole her man, when a young boy approaches and asks her for a dance. Deciding why not, no one else was going to ask her that nicely, Halo dances with him, noticing he was both an excellent dancer, but also the crowd seemed to part for him. And why shouldn't it: he introduces himself afterwards, and Lux Roth Chop. (Lux is much younger in the story, and shorter, than he was on the cover!)

Finally arriving on the frozen planet Charlemagne, Halo makes her way to the Solid Air Bar, to see if she beat Rodice there. The bar was pretty empty, but a call comes in, asking for Halo: it was Rodice, calling from back on the Hoop on earth. She had decided not to leave, feeling more comfortable there. She wants to tell Halo more, but Halo tells her she won't be coming back to the Hoop. "Where will you go?" "Out." Settling in next to alien keyboard player Yortlebluzzgubbly, Halo looks like she's about to have more than a few drinks...This was the end of Book Two, and the next book maybe featured more action in the 2000 AD manner; but again, due to a rights dispute Alan Moore to date has never returned fo Fleetway.

And again, as was typical for these reprints, Halo only gets 10 pages and a couple pin-ups in her own mag! Judge Anderson gets ten, although a couple are out of order and she's inexplicably colored as a redhead instead of a blonde. This was another chapter of "Hour of the Wolf" from 1987, as an enemy psychic recovers the body of Russian assassin Orlok, and revives him. Aside from the Dark Judges, there aren't a lot of recurring bad guys in Judge Dredd stories (at least compared to American comics!) and this might have been a move to keep Orlok in play while also covering why Anderson couldn't just find him later with her psi-powers. (Story by Alan Grant and John Wagner, art by Barry Kitson.)

The issue wraps with another Alan Moore story, Abelard Snazz in "The Double Decker-Dome Strikes Back." (Art by Mike White.) Abelard was a super-genius problem-solver, with solutions that inevitably led to more problems, and previously had been abandoned in space to die with his fawning robot toadie Edwin. Frozen, Abelard is recovered by the alien defeatists the Farbians, who think he was their god Toglub of the Two-Fold Gaze. Surely he would be able to solve the three-pronged threat hanging over the planet's head...? (Amusingly, the long-suffering Farbians appear to have had other disasters, as their naysaying priest references some Alan Moore Future Shock strips! One, the alien cleaner, you might recognize from the cover of Quality's Time Twisters #1!) Can Abelard come up with the answers? And will he immediately shoot himself in the foot right after? You can probably guess, but it's done well.

I don't think there's a huge demand for Fleetway/Quality reprints in general, maybe slightly more for Halo Jones, but I am still surprised when I find any. Going to check my overflow box of 2000 AD-type stuff and see if I'm close to the set, here. Read more!

Hopefully, no twist endings today--aw, damnit!

I honestly thought I had posted more of these: from 1988, Time Twisters #8, cover by Richard Larson and Sam de la Rosa.

This of course was Quality's book reprinting mostly short "Tharg's Future Shocks" from 2000 AD, opening with Alan Moore and Mike White's "Eureka!" An exploration craft in search of aliens, maybe too late realizes, what if an alien is just an idea? And what if everyone has the same idea...Next, P.E.S.T. agent Joe Black risks life and limb on an alien planet, but comes out of it with replicator technology. It couldn't make heavy elements, and Joe sees the downside of counterfeiting, but he does find at least one good thing to use it for. ("Horn of Plenty!" Written by Kelvin Gosnell, pencils by John Higgins.)

I had guessed Peter Milligan at first glance, but it was Grant Morrison! In "the Invisible Etchings of Salvador Dali" a lunatic has come to terms with the insane nightmare he lives in, but he might be the hero the world needs after the detonation of a "reality bomb." (Art by John Hicklenton.) Then, some nice facial expression work doesn't quite sell "Now You See It..." followed by another Alan Moore story, with art by Mike White: a Flash Gordon spoof, "The Regrettable Ruse of Rocket Redglare!" (I feel like 2000 AD took the piss out of Flash more than once that I've seen, and I haven't read every prog, so they could've more than that!)

One more from Alan, this time with Dave Gibbons, as aliens from space invade in "Skirmish!" If you're old enough, you'll almost be able to hear that one. Close out the issue with some role-reversal in "Nigel Goes A-Hunting!" and a Judge Dredd one-pager. ("Nigel" written by Alan Grant, art by Jesús Redondo; "Tales from Mega-City One" written by John Wagner and Alan Grant, art by David Wyatt.)

It's once again my birthday, and we've made it through another horrible year of twist endings: we can make it through some more. See you then! Read more!

You might not get every little nuance with a random issue of this, but it looks good doing it.

We saw Reuben lamenting low voter turn-out a couple election cycles back, and we've mentioned the Hard Times trade a few times; but I just liked this cover from a quarter bin: from 1985, American Flagg! #26, "Mad Dogs & Englishmen, conclusion" Story and art by Howard Chaykin, letters by Ken Bruzenak, colors by Alex Wald.

This was wrapping up a four-parter with Reuben visiting England, part of a goodwill tour promoting a cease-fire in their war with Ireland. Several conspiracies of varying degrees of complexity seem to conflict with each other, ranging from robot replacements to garden-variety xenophobia and racism. Reuben eventually breaks the case, but loses the girl in the end, at least for now, as he gets on a plane back to Chicago...

...where, somewhat unusually, the back-up feature tied-in, and had a surprising name as well! "The People's Choice" Written by Alan Moore, art by Don Lomax. This was chapter six of a serial that would wrap up with the main story next month, as some kind of unexplained sexual disaster has refugees fleeing Kansas...and the curious later rushing there to see! Amanda "Mandy" Krieger spends most of this chapter trying to rehearse what she was going to say to Reuben when he got back: that this totally wasn't her fault, it isn't even as bad as they're saying, that's taken out of context, everything's fine...how are you? 

Loose Collector has an American Flagg!--and Raul the Cat!--action figure coming; and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted. Trying to pay down my cards, though; and I just got hit for a spendy Mezco One: 12 just now...

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In the old Star Trek episode, "The Devil in the Dark," there's a scene where Dr. McCoy yells at a crewmember, to beam down the thermal concrete like he asked, "...and never mind what I want it for. I just want it! Now move!" And that seems to be how I'm buying action figures lately, since I don't usually buy a lot of McFarlane figures, but I wanted Atrocitus. Because, that's why! Although, Build-a-Figures or "Collect to Build" rarely come with accessories, so he didn't have a Red Lantern or his beloved pet, Dex-Starr! But there may be more rage-inducing elements in this issue: from 2013, Red Lanterns #18, "The Decision" Written by Peter Milligan, art by Miguel Sepulveda.

I had to re-read Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #2 before this post, since like so much DC continuity, this spins-off a throwaway line in an Alan Moore story. Billions of years ago, space sector 666 was destroyed by the Manhunters, as part of a ploy of the renegade Guardian Krona to show maybe robot space-cops wasn't such a great idea. There were only five survivors, beings that would eventually become the demonic Five Inversions, and one of them was Atrocitus, formerly Atros of Ryutt. He had seen his wife and daughter murdered before his eyes, which would set him on a path of vengeance spanning millennia...but what if it didn't have to be that way? This was part of yet another Green Lantern-title crossover, "Wrath of the First Lantern," featuring the return of the nigh-omnipotent Volthoom. (A name that might ring a bell if you know your Crime Syndicate!)

Volthoom toys with Atrocitus, wondering where his "critical moment" was. And, just to see what would happen, he offers to show him "an alternate life-path," It's a Wonderful Life-style: what if the Manhunters hadn't destroyed his world? Would Atros have lived a happy and peaceful life? Not according to Volthoom, anyway: in his version, Atros becomes a tyrant, conquering his world, even murdering his wife in a show trial. Atrocitus argues he never hit his wife, Volthoom says in that life you did: someone with the potential to become Atrocitus was never going to be "a regular man." But, at the peak of power, his son avenges his mother, gunning down Atros. Volthoom suggests he may want to reconsider hating the Manhunters: "They saved you from yourself."

Still, Volthoom offers Atrocitus the chance to change things, to stop the massacre of his planet...even if it would mean death at the hands of his son. Atrocitus declines, which leaves Volthoom free to get the Macguffin he wanted, which would make him controller of all reality. Atrocitus then makes a call to all Red Lanterns: he had discovered the individual responsible for the destruction of his homeworld...Atrocitus! He could have stopped it, and didn't; and orders all Red Lanterns to execute him, immediately...!

I only read a few issues of this fresh off the racks, but Milligan takes what should probably the dumbest thing ever, and makes some interesting choices: how long can rage keep you going? What will you be if you let go? Some bastards probably should die, but who should make that choice? Atrocitus does seem to occasionally consider the deeper issues, then get rolled back to being the basic bad guy since his name is "Atrocitus." We don't see Dex-Starr this issue, either: he would be softened a bit later in Justice League Odyssey, because he's a cat and everyone loves them, even though he really was a hatey little monster. Read more!

I want to say American audiences discovered this, after it had been dead for two years...

We've established that I'll always pick up Quality 2000 AD and Judge Dredd reprints; and today's book is allegedly an in-demand one. From 1988, Halo Jones #6, reprinting "Puppy Love" from 1985's 2000 AD #412 and #413, written by Alan Moore, art by Ian Gibson. 

In the 50th century, the adventures of Halo Jones begin after an unfortunate shopping trip, when she returns to her apartment to find one of her roommates has joined a cult, and the other has been murdered. She leaves earth, taking a job as a stewardess on a year-long trip, but this issue she finds her roommate's murderer: Halo's own robot dog, Toby! Toby may have been her roommate's before, but wants Halo for himself, to get a human body and be "just like a regular boyfriend." Halo tries to stall, but Toby can see she's lying, and sadly knows he'll have to kill her...! (Toby is largely a cutesy design, gone bad; the effect is like if G'nort was trying to kill you!)

Unfortunately, by the time this issue was published, the third and to-date final Halo Jones book had already been published; as Moore had fought with Fleetway over the property rights. Is it weird that kind of like Watchmen, Moore would never come back to work for them, but the artist would? Gibson's done a British tonne of 2000 AD since. Much as I'd have loved to see it continue, I imagine Fleetway or IPC or whoever owns it now are afraid if they give Moore any slack, it would open the door for other creators to get rights, and we can't have that...

I know I've read all of the Ballad of Halo Jones from one of the 2000 AD Humble Bundles; but as was pretty typical for the Quality reprints, she only gets 10 pages in her own book! Psi-Judge Anderson gets 10 pages, surprisingly tense even though she spends the bulk of it in a coma! The East-Meg's deadliest agent, Orlok, plots his escape, which feels like an inevitability. (Written by Alan Grant and John Wagner, pencils by Barry Kitson, inks by Jeff Anderson.) The rest is the Dave Angus/Kevin O'Neill Flash Gordon spoof Dash Decent. I'm trying to remember if any of the comedy 2000 AD strips have ever worked for me, and most of them were short runs that still outlasted any jokes.

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I have to wonder if that affects the page rate...

I mentioned always being up for a Quality/Fleetway reprint, but I bought this one and felt a little burned by it. (So to speak...) Which didn't stop me from picking up another quarter-book copy of it to blog about it! From 1987, Sam Slade, Robohunter #6, featuring a Ro-Busters story written by Alan Moore with art by Steve Dillon! Which is probably why I could've picked up another three or four copies if I wanted to: I'm pretty sure the name of Alan Moore was a selling-point by this time, so why not reprint some of his old 2000 AD work for a quick buck? Which is fine, most of that stuff probably hadn't been widely seen in America.

All well and good, except as the GCD points out, "Bax the Burner" was originally a six-page story, expanded to nineteen by enlarging panels! (Marvel and other companies would use a similar technique in their Marvel Illustrated Books paperback reprints; but those were different page sizes.) So it doesn't read especially well, but it was a bit slight anyway: a pyrokinetic mutant stalks his former nurse, having fallen in love with her.

(That song is far better known for the cover by A Perfect Circle, which is neither here nor there.)
Ro-Busters Hammerstein and Ro-Jaws manage to blow up Bax after he turns on his "love," and that's that. Hammerstein also appears in the next story, which continues from their last reprint appearance in Rogue Trooper #5: putting his team together, 'Stein fights the mysterious, mystical Deadlock and brings him onboard, but balks at his next potential recruit, General Blackblood. ("The Tournament of the Damned" Written by Pat Mills, art by Brett Ewins.)

Finally, it was Sam Slade's title, but his story was pushed to the back of the book! Framed, Slade may face a prison worse that Judge Dredd's iso-cubes: New Sing-Sing, a prison with mandatory songs, robot guards, wardens, and doctors! None of which are big fans of Robo-Hunters like Slade, but to investigate the planned "Day of the Droids" he'll have to break out...which means relying on his self-appointed assistant, Hoagy. (Story by Alan Grant, art by Ian Gibson.)

The print and color quality isn't great in this one, but I like ABC Warriors and Sam Slade, Robohunter enough to pick up cheap reprints; I wouldn't spring for glossy paper and archival collections.

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Another replacement, but I'll hang on to my originals too, thanks:

I had to order a Christmas present from Amazon, so I decided to throw in a couple books for myself and save on the shipping. One book didn't make it (but I found it in Everett myself!) and I thought the other one was going to be shipped separately. Then I checked the present and it was in there...Dark Horse's collection of rare or uncollected stories, Star Wars Omnibus: Wild Space, volume 1.

The big selling point is probably the creators: there's early work from Alan Moore, Chris Claremont, Walt Simonson, Alan Davis, and more. Some of the stories are pure apocrypha (the Alan Moore one in particular, I think) from the days before Star Wars had really settled into a solid look and feel; so it isn't necessarily "in continuity," but that may depend on your tastes. Some of the stories were from Marvel UK, where Star Wars was a weekly comic, and they had to generate a few more stories. (Or use backup features--I was looking at a cover that also featured Guardians of the Galaxy, Deathlok, and Tales of the Watcher.)

"The Day After the Death Star!" is a personal favorite: restless after the Rebellion's victory party, Luke takes Artoo and his X-wing for a quick flight to think...only to run into a lost TIE fighter. Forced to clip the fighter with his wing, Luke and the TIE fighter pilot end up face-to-face and hand-to-hand in a swamp on Yavin IV; where Luke learns more than a couple lessons. "The Weapons Master," is another, where Princess Leia explains how a young woman from the pacifist planet of Alderaan got so handy with a blaster. (Retroactively, I suppose they'd say because of her lineage; but this story is more interesting; she isn't a natural.) Those two were part of a Marvel paperback that I've had for what, thirty-some years, and it's kind of worn. This version actually has a few recap pages that were redundant when they were packaged together, but in the original black-and-white.

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Everything you know is wrong! Including this title!

Today, another Comicon pickup, and a book I knew of but never thought I'd actually read: from 1985 and Eclipse, Miracleman #3, reprinting Alan Moore and Alan Davis's Marvelman stories from Warrior #9-11. (With a Howard Chaykin cover!)

If you aren't familiar with Miracleman, or Marvelman...yow. Over at the Beat, there is a series of articles called "Poisoned Chalice" about the history of the character, and the decades of behind-the-scenes machinations about who owns what, which is still kind of a mess to this day. Marvel may have the rights, but I'm worried they'd do something really stupid like try to make Miracleman, Marvelman, whoever, part of the Marvel Universe. I don't think he'd be a good fit three, or that it would do the character any favors either; but I have a sinking feeling that wouldn't stop Marvel editorial from pushing it.

Anyway, this issue is where Marvelman's origin really starts to unravel: instead of being a relatively innocent Captain Marvel, say the magic word type; he was an orphan used in a secret government experiment using recovered alien technology and headed up by what I presume was the villain of the piece. Marvelman also tangles with Big Ben, the Man with No Time for Crime; who likewise wasn't a straightforward superhero, but instead an earlier experiment and quite insane. This probably wasn't the earliest example of the "Everything you know is wrong" origin retcon, but it's one of the prime examples.

It's not exactly "fun," but it's so well done--you really do see why everyone's fighting over the rights. Pick it up, if by random chance you come across a copy.
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Spoiling a 2011 DVD adapting a 1985 comic that you've read already:

So, I got Green Lantern: Emerald Knights from the pawn shop, probably a month or two ago, and finally watched it the other day. It wasn't bad: I wouldn't drop twenty bucks on it, but for two bucks? Why not?

There's a somewhat expanded adaptation of the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons story "Mogo Doesn't Socialize," although Moore doesn't let his name be listed in the credits. It's not super: there's a somewhat unnecessary prologue with Bolphunga the Unrelenting, then his silly and unhelpful probes that he uses in his search. And in the end, Mogo's Green Lantern logo isn't part of the greenery and topography, but a shiny lantern construct. It even appears that Mogo kills Bolphunga, rather than sending him running home to his mama. Weak.

But it occurred to me, Hal tells this story to Arisia, so maybe that's how he heard it. Or maybe Hal can't tell a joke...

I also watched Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, which I got for four bucks on BluRay. Eh...it's okay, yeah. Not my favorite storyline to begin with. Although, Under the Red Hood wasn't necessarily a favorite either, and I liked that DVD. Off the top of my head, as far as DC's direct-to-video features go, I think Crisis on Two Earths has been my favorite; but I should get them all together. At the very least, it'd help me keep track of which ones I have...
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Oddly enough, my first glimpse as well:

Well, that may not be quite true, since I saw the movie Swamp Thing in theatres back in 1982...which makes me old, yes. Still, I do believe that this was the first Swamp Thing comic I ever read.

Even though I haven't read all of his work, I usually enjoy an Alan Moore story, and I picked up the Millennium Edition reprint of Saga of the Swamp Thing #21, "The Anatomy Lesson." I probably knew, but always forget that was actually Moore's second issue on the book. Of course, I'd read it before, back in 1985 or so: In DC's Blue Ribbon Digest #61, with such classic stories as "Babe's Story" from Atari Force #8! Oh, I kid; but let's cram that little thing into the scanner and see how it looks.

And it seems odd now, but the 1986 Year's Best, #71, featured Swamp Thing #34, "Rites of Spring," which is pretty much Abby and Swamp Thing having sex. Really doubt DC would even try to sneak that under the radar now, but I wonder how many readers were introduced to the book there?

Art from Swamp Thing #21 and #34 by Stephen Bissette and John Totleben.
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Eleven random line items:

1. God, Race to Witch Mountain looks terrible. And not just in the sense that I'm not the target audience for it, it looks just...shabby. I've never been a big fan of the Rock, or Dwayne Johnson, or whatever, but his smarmy, smug act promoting it isn't helping either. (The ads for the Kids' Choice Awards are particularly painful, and my boys watch a lot of Nick.)

2. OK, I'm looking forward to Watchmen. One of the main complaints I've seen about the movie is that by focusing on the whodunit or the action-adventure aspects of the graphic novel is to completely miss the symbolism, and possibly the point, of what Alan Moore was going for. That remains to be seen, but if Watchmen was supposed to work on all those levels, can't it work on just a couple? Nobody's forcing you to get the symbolism...the weird part is, I had that same problem with Identity Crisis: I thought it was supposed to be a murder mystery, and in the last issue it becomes apparent that the murder is only the hook, and who did it is only an afterthought. So, maybe an Identity Crisis movie would be a goddamn improvement...

3. I've bought Watchmen twice over the years, but have lost it both times. I had a copy of issue #8 (I think) but haven't seen that around lately either.

4. Even though I want to like them, it's so easy to hate the Sci-Fi Channel. I only got to start watching Battlestar Galactica again when the end was in sight, and while it's great and I'm looking forward to the end; I have a hard time imagining what Sci-Fi's gonna have to replace it. I am never, ever going to watch any version of Ghost Hunters, and that video game psuedo-reality show looks like the worst kind of crap: where are the fat kids? And it's great to feature girl gamers, but there's no crying in videogames!

And the made for the channel movies get on my nerves, too. Step 1: Film it in the cheapest location you can find, i.e. Canada, regardless of where your movie's allegedly set. Step 2: Get an old copy of the Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual, flip it open to a random page, and voila! There's half your movie right there! Manticore, Basilisk, and Wyvern have all been used lately. I'm waiting for Gelatinous Cube, the movie. Step 3: Cast a bunch of unknowns and maybe one C-lister that needs to make a boat payment or is late on their taxes or something. Step 4: Use the same computer-generated effects that the rest of these movies do, including a blood effect that manages to look far less real than throwing a bucket of dyed Karo syrup. But it's expensive, so it must be good! I think I'm just pissed that this is the first time in years I've had Sci-Fi, and apparently running this cheapo little homemade films is more cost effective and better ratings then rerunning old, cancelled shows. (I liked Splinter, though, and I make no apologies for liking some crap and hating other crap.)

5. Apparently, the demographics for the Sci-Fi channel also suggest that if you're watching the channel, you need Lectric Shave (maybe!) and you're alone and unloved. If I never had to see an ad for Match.com again..."I'm just a goof, looking for my ball." What does that even mean!? Is that code for something?

6. I don't listen to a lot of music lately, but the one song I've heard recently that I couldn't get enough of? "Murder Train a'Comin'" by Dethklok. I stumbled into Metalocalypse pretty late, and while I'm not a huge death metal fan, it reminds me of friends who were. I need to download it, but that would involve some horrible process involving ITunes, for one song. (It was a bonus track on the deluxe version of their album.)

7. Oh, let's have a scan of this one:

Yeah, I've lost Watchmen twice, but still have this? That seems fair. But it's interesting as a historical artifact, this issue of Comics Scene from 1990, back when anime was still Japanimation, and comics coverage was still broad enough to include Grant Morrison and Bill Sienkiewicz, the live action Captain America, and Betty Boop. Also, there's two pages of listings in the back, of comic characters and properties being adapted to other media, like movies or TV. Well, allegedly adapted. Many of these would never happen, like the Sally Forth sitcom, or a Spider-Man movie scheduled for Christmas 1990. Let's just run that list, and you can check off the ones that you wanted made (or unmade!) yourself, and you can count your blessings a lot of these didn't happen in the 90's.



There were a couple there I'm not sure were even close: did Howard Chaykin have anything to do with the Judge Dredd movie? And Joel Schumaker didn't direct The Phantom, did he? Actually, neither of those may have hurt, in the long run...

8. For good measure, here's a photo from that issue, of Alan Moore and Bill Sienkiewicz, promoting the never-completed Big Numbers. I still have that floating around here somewhere.

Interestingly, I'd often wondered why Sienkiewicz still does inking work, and he answered that in this interview: "Inking is simply a motor function...(I)nking was like watching grandmother sit and crochet on a moving train. I really wanted to do something that required no thought, go on auto-pilot, to recharge my batteries." And now I know!

9. Caught the recent Dr. Strange cartoon on Cartoon Network the other day. Not bad, certainly better than the Iron Man one. Even though I would just as soon they not run things like Ace Ventura, Jr., Cartoon Network has been keeping me up on a lot of those direct-to-DVD movies: Justice League: New Frontier and Batman: Gotham Knight were both on almost immediately after I bought them...

10. This may sound like hyperbole, but I would rather you cut me, than watch, hear about, or see mentioned again, Celebrity Apprentice. Cutting me would be more memorable for everyone involved.

11. Twice daily posts here, at least until Friday this week! See you then.

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On the Spirit, LXG, and the latter incarnations of the Crow:

(No scans for this one yet, but I reserve the right to come back to it as I find them, 'kay?)

So, I haven't seen the Spirit. Like a lot of people. Over at Doomkopf they hated it. Actually, that's being kind: my keyboard doesn't have that Transmetropolitan skull-and-crossbones key. Over at his Permanent Damage column, Steven Grant takes the rather more charitable view that Frank Miller has had more hit movies than you probably have, and this was his first try on his own. Well, maybe; and there does seem to be a lot of the ol' schadenfreude, if not outright gloating, over the Spirit's seeming failure. I say seeming because I don't know, maybe it'll find it's audience on DVD or repeated cable showings or something.

And on cable right as I type this: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. With "DVD extras" during the commercials. Reportedly, the filming was so horrible and he clashed with the director so fiercely, that it as much as drove Sean Connery into retirement. I've seen quotes from Connery, to the effect of that the notion of making another movie isn't worth the probability of killing a director. (What's the director commentary like on that one? "Ooh, Sean was pissed this morning! I said, 'Hey, save your murderous rage for the screen, tiger!' He glared at me! Directing is awesome!")

I wasn't expecting to see Connery in the "extras," but he just appeared for a moment in a segment about the car. Of course, the swarmy hosts also pointed out that "LXG" was written by the same guy that wrote V for Vendetta and From Hell. They don't mention Alan Moore by name, and why should they? Then you have to get into a whole thing about him not be involved with the movies, not wanting or even watching them. (Or so they say.)

I really liked V for Vendetta, and have yet to finish the book. (I keep getting individual issues, it wasn't always a trade!) And while it's probably not high on anyone's lists, "LXG" probably isn't the worst superhero movie ever. (The guys at Doomkopf were working on that as well, but I wanted to finish this thought before I read that!) And while there are several I haven't seen--you know, let's start there. I've never seen Catwoman, and I have that one--the Oldest swears its good, but I think at one point he may have actually thought cats could bring him back to life, too. Steel, Superman IV, Supergirl: for some reason, I don't think I've seen a combined five minutes of them.

But, I've seen a lot of terrible ones as well. Every version of the Crow after the Brandon Lee one: terrible, or worse. And even the first one gets away with a lot: I remember a Film Threat article that instead of a review, ran it as a seance with Bruce Lee: "The only thing that movie has going for it is Brandon's death. And the sad thing is, it'll probably work." "Shut up dad, don't queer my deal." And the TV version still puts my teeth on edge: a cleaned-up version of the first movie, dragged out episode after episode, as an early test music delivery system like Smallville or Gilmore Girls. (I'm being harsh, since those shows obviously brought something else to the table, which is why they lasted longer than...however many miserable episodes the Crow ran. Seriously, that show made Night Man look like it sweated artistic integrity.)

And I'm almost positive I saw the Spirit TV movie in 1987. Now, it was a comic book movie at a time where there was just about nothing. (I know I watched the short-lived Sable series as well.) But it didn't do much for me; not so much because of the quality (or lack of) of the movie itself, but because I had only a vague idea of who the Spirit was. Were Spirit comics available on newstands in my lifetime? I'm thinking not. Maybe the Warren reprints, but I couldn't find Vampirella back then, so I doubt the Spirit would have been easily found.

To this day, I've read barely a handful of Spirit stories, and only a few of those by Will Eisner. And I didn't really care for them: the Spirit seemed like a coat hanger that more interesting characters and plots hung off of, and not like an interesting character himself. Plus, he got beat up a lot, what's up with that? It never seemed like, "the Spirit gets beat to hell but never gives up and struggles through and wins in the end." It just seemed like, "the Spirit got beat up, and looks it." Or maybe, "Crap, that chick suckerpunched the Spirit! Sucker!" I'm probably wrong, but it doesn't seem like I'm going to be jumping up and down for the DVD either.

Of course, even before the Spirit came out, people were already starting to piss and moan about Frank Miller's next potential movie, a version of Buck Rogers. Like a lot of people, the first thing that came to mind was Lance Blastoff and Tales to Offend. I've read a lot of Miller, and that one's funny once, but not one I'd care to revisit. It's easy to jump to the conclusion that Miller would bring all his excesses to the goddamn Buck Rogers: a tough-yet-slutty Major Derring, a foul-mouthed "comic relief" Twiki that wouldn't be funny, a future that was repressed and seedy and looked kind of fake. Eh, it's tiring just to imagine that. Maybe Miller would go that route. Maybe he'd play it completely straight. Who knows? Hell, who knows if he's gonna get to do it anyway; but it seems unfair to burn it down before he's even started it. Well, unless he casts a Twiki, in which case yeah, burn away. I liked the TV show as a kid, but Twiki was born there and should be left there.

(I did have a thought that all those space opera spaceships, with their seemingly simplistic controls and shiny chrome finishes, were actually extraordinarily complicated and computerized; "idiot proof" fighters created by highly intelligent scientists, in order to ensure that any idiot could fly a rocket into a space battle. Because if any idiot can do it, well, the scientists wouldn't have to. "OK, the button that says 'UP'? Push that first. That one there fires the 'lasers.' Good luck!")

If Miller doesn't get to do Buck Rogers? I was walking the dog, and thinking about how Frank's going to pooch it; and I realized who should get to do the movie: Howard motherlovin' Chaykin. Take your Chaykin-hero, Reuben Flagg, Blackhawk, what have you; throw in some skirts that are slightly less tawdry than what Miller would bring, add a bunch of pointy-looking spaceships, bam! Chaykin could do it. If he got the greenlight. And had, um, any interest at all in working in Hollywood; Chaykin could very well have better/less aggravating things to do. And I don't think I've quite articulated why he'd be a good choice, but it's only a late-night rant brought about by a bunch of things wandering into my field of vision over the course of an evening.

(It's late for me, I have to be up at four! New post Tuesday, though!) Read more!

Well, I found Strontium Dog #1, but in the Quality series reprinting the old British series, the first issue isn't SD's first appearance. I think they had that in their reprint 2000 AD mag or something. I did take a second to glance at 2000 AD Online (and take a second to check it out now: I liked the Christmas cover for their Judge Dredd Megazine, reminiscent of the classic Brian Bolland covers) to see if they had any Strontium Dog reprints. No, through ClickWheel they had "only" three years worth of available "progs," weekly issues, to buy. I say "only" since 2000 AD's over 30 years old...also, since I grew up with the Quality/Fleetwood reprints, I have no idea on the prog numbering for anything. I'm sure British fans can speak glowingly of the stellar run of progs 743-812, but I can't. Sorry.

On the other hand, Strontium Dog #1 did feature a three-page story, probably a "Future Shock" although this one isn't labeled as such, from little Alan Moore, age 12. I'm joking, but even though I don't think I've seen them all, it seems like he did these forever. Art by John Higgins, here's "Bounty Hunters."



"Captain? Did our ship always have so many teeth and organs?" And judging by page three, I would guess that's exactly why Mogo doesn't socialize... Read more!