80-Page Thursdays: Avengers Academy Giant-Size #1!

Man alive, when was the last time we had a Marvel 80-pager here? Way back in 2019! But, we've got one I hadn't seen before, with a couple characters that were getting the push at the time, and maybe a couple Marvel's still trying to break big. And, it might set up not one but two series later! From 2011, Avengers Academy Giant-Size #1, written by Paul Tobin, pencils by David Baldeón, inks by Jordi Tarragona.

Full disclosure here, and absolutely personal bias: I don't love the Avengers Academy era. It didn't feel like a great use of some established characters--hey, Hank Pym's not in anything, I guess he's a teacher now. But just from this issue, the Academy kids seem to feel like they're treated like property, forbidden from using their powers unless it's in service to the Avengers or the government. (Pretty sure you should side with the kids, but it sucks that some Avengers get made the bad guys for enforcing that, even if they were getting the screws put to them as well.) On a rare day off in NYC, Reptil, Veil, Finesse, and Striker decide to enjoy the day; even if it's only a day and they were probably being watched by Avengers even if they promised they wouldn't...The kids happen to see Firestar and Spider-Girl fly/swing by, but after they wander off from each other, Reptil and Veil worry the others might have run off, and they might get in trouble themselves if so. Their search is cut short, when while checking out a somewhat suspicious Avengers Academy poster, they get hit by flying bricks and giant robots. No points will be given for guessing the baddie: it's Arcade.

While on their way to meet up with fellow Young Allies member Toro, Spider-Girl and Firestar are lured in by a giant Spider-Girl balloon and captured as well. Arcade intended to put them all in his patented death-traps, but Reptil and Spider-Girl wake up early, so Arcade improvises a competition between them, to score points and save their friends, or at least some of them. He seems to be enjoying creating on the fly; but the whole endeavor was meant to show he still had the juice to kill super-powered heroes, even if they were just kids. (Arcade claims to have killed 'scores' of regular people, an interesting choice of terms!) While gas-girl Veil figures out her trap, Spider-Girl and Reptil run Arcade's wild goose chase: eventually, Arcade murders them all, or at least appears to: no spoiler, but O.G. junior hero Kitty Pryde pulled the same on him, back in Uncanny X-Men #197! 

Traditional as hell: of course the Avengers and the government aren't looking when the kids are kidnapped: they can only surveil to punish you, not help you. This also seems to pretty much set up the later Avengers Arena and Avengers Undercover series with Arcade; but Reptil was the only hero from this issue to appear in those. I don't know if I've seen Reptil lately; which would kind of be standard for a younger hero like that after his book went away; except he was also in the Super-Hero Squad cartoon and comic! I wonder how many years we are away from a childhood fan of his bringing him back. (He did appear in a King in Black issue fairly recently.) 

Firestar...man, Firestar's been around since what, 1981? And Marvel still seems to be at a loss over what to do with her, at least consistently: her most recent appearances were the last West Coast Avengers, where I think she had PTSD and alcoholism, developed after her stint as a double agent against Orchis during the Krakoa era. Which may or may not be an improvement from having to sit at the kid's table? I'm not saying all of Firestar's stories should be sweetness and light, but that feels a bit much.

I had to look up the others: Veil had to give up her powers before they killed her, but Finesse seems to have settled into B-list bad guy for hire work. Her powers seemed like Taskmaster's, but part of her larger plot was that the Academy deemed her among the most likely to become a villain, so she just did. At least a bit; she maybe just didn't want to anything to do with Avengers after that, which, fair. Striker's maybe still out there, but not used for much except maybe crowd filler. The Young Allies Toro was a largish bull-guy, not the old Human Torch's sidekick, but while I thought he would've been phased out when the Liefeld-era girl Bucky was removed, he stuck around at least a little. He might be one of several refugees from alternate earths on 616, but the original Toro came back as an Inhuman, so we might not see YA Toro again.  

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There's definitely an Onion headline that applies for Wolvie there.

Whelp, just spent a hour writing a post, for a book I'd already blogged; so I'd best triple-check I haven't hit this one before, since I'm positive I've bought it three times. (I can see two from here, so...) So far it looks like I haven't, so here goes! From 2001, Paradise X: Heralds #1, plot and cover by Alex Ross, plot and script by Jim Krueger, art by Steve Pugh. 

This would be a prequel to Paradise X, the third and final chapter of Ross and Krueger's Earth X trilogy; and begins with X-51 recovering, and restoring, the Logan from "Days of Future Past," Earth-811. (I'm nerdy, but not nerdy enough to remember earth designations like that of the top of my head!) While he could be resurrected, X-51 sadly tells Logan his friends could not; and Logan recognizes where he was, since he had been there before: the Watcher's home on the moon. (Like the Onion said, "Man Experiencing First Real Moment of Peace in Years Resuscitated.")

X-51 introduces him to the team he had put together, collected from the multiverse, some of which would have even been familiar to Logan: the vampire Ororo, Bloodstorm; the MC2 Spider-Girl, Killraven, Deathlok, Iron Man 2020, and a Hyperion. (Logan recognizes May as "Parker's kid" by scent, which grosses her out.) They also pass by the naysaying old Watcher Uatu, who was basically a big blind face at this point. X-51 gives the quick version of what he had learned, about the multiverse, divergent timelines, Mephisto, and primarily, the Celestial egg planted in earths across the multiverse. (That plot point is probably the legacy of the Earth X books, as it's crossed over into 616 and movie continuity.) He wanted the team to warn the Reed Richards of those worlds; then he would use Uatu's stuff to reward the heralds accordingly. (Killraven and Logan both point out, their earths sucked and were probably past saving, but X-51 had found others.) The heroes are paired up, with X-51 going with Hyperion; as they are transported by familiar-looking big black monoliths...

Hyperion and X-51 arrive on an earth taken over by Kulan Gath (around Uncanny X-Men #190!) and Reed Richards had just been strung up. Deathlok and Killraven get a world ruled by Satyrnin, which does have a lot of armored goons for them to blast. IM 2020 is paired off with Bloodstorm, feeling that he was because he would've been protected from the vampire, but they find a world apparently full of 'em. Logan and Spider-Girl show up at a White House, to see President Richards...perhaps better known as the Brute!

I hesitate to mention this, since I have an irrational fear of anyone horning in on my search; but I read all the Earth X books as they came out, and since my old copies have been read many times I have been putting together another run of them from the cheap bins. Checking the pile I have handy, I had most of Earth and Universe, but needed about 12 of Paradise X. There were maybe 14 issues of that one, since they ran from #0 to #X because of course they do. Still, I had new copies of all three of Heralds, and I think I have all of the one-shots like Xen and Cap, which I thought would be tough to gather up. I've been picking at that for some time, it seems to come in chunks, but I might be making some headway.

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Aw, now I want a Fantastic Four cake for my birthday. Or maybe just now!

Fantastic Four cake topper ad, from 2005's Last Hero Standing #1, which I guess we might as well talk about while we're here! Plot and script by Tom DeFalco, plot and pencils by Patrick Olliffe, inks by Scott Koblish.

Last Hero Standing--which I'm repeating, because I'm sure I've accidentally called it 'Last Man Standing' multiple times--was a weekly, five-issue mini set in the Marvel Next/Spider-Girl continuity; where the usual Marvel heroes were still around but older and largely inactive, while newer heroes were arising. Newer, lippier heroes: most of them don't seem especially friendly, even with their own teammates! While several heroes disappear mysteriously (including Wolverine!) most of the focus this issue is at Avengers Mansion, where Captain America--grey-haired and scarred--was wondering if it was time for him to finally retire. But, when the call comes down, he still picks up the shield...(The Avengers at the time also had American Dream, too, so...)

Peter Parker and the comatose Scarlet Witch also get taken, as well as the now-cyborg Ben Grimm. The various heroes meet up, following the trail underground...as the villain, hidden in shadow, shouts about "Revenge for an unforgivable sin that has forever haunted me!" If that isn't a clue, his henchmen appear to be trolls, and he uses the phrase "glorious purpose" here years before he would in his show! 

There are like two other Fantastic Four movie related ads this issue, including one for the plug-and-play video game. Which I believe I still have, the kids played it; but I wonder if I have a TV it could still plug into...

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