Retro Toy Week: Transmetropolitan Spider Jerusalem!

Ah, I miss the days when DC Direct used to do a little bit more offbeat character selections, rather than simply grinding out yet another Batman or Superman (or now, Green Lantern) variation. From Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson's Transmetropolitan, Spider Jerusalem!


This was one of my favorite series, so of course I was up for a figure of the future's premier gonzo journalist. While Spider usually wore a jacket or pants when he left the house, the shorts look gives the opportunity to show off the tattoos. Still, he's not quite as articulated as you might think; and because of the tatts, he looks like he's going to have cut wrists, but he doesn't. Does he? Frankly, I always thought the shoulders looked like ball-joints, but they're not.
Spider came with a laptop, and his terrible two-headed cat. (There was a variant with a bowel disruptor handgun, which I believe was molded to his hand and non-removable, so...) I wish Spider had a bit more articulation, to better type away on his columns, or stroke his cat like a Bond villain. A better neck joint, rather than a mere cut, would've better served the character as well, but this was the state of specialty market figures around, I don't know, 1999 or so.
Unless a movie deal materializes (I was holding out for Transmetropolitan: the Animated Series...) I doubt we'll see another Spider Jerusalem figure. Which means, if you want him, well, you're going to have to shell out a bit now. I found one here, which looks about the best price you could figure on right now, but as usual, shop it around.




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Things I Don't Get, Real or Imagined, Part One



Just a short one this week: The Wife's not feeling well, so I had to get the Youngest to therapy, school, and therapy preschool. He should be beat, but he's doing pretty well. I'm beat.

Credit where due: photo credit Kelsey McNeal, photo yanked from Entertainment Weekly, which also bagged on Power of Truth... Read more!

Good lord, if Ellis was right about this, the dog cullings and lizard-eating two-headed cats are next.

From Internet Movie Database; towards the bottom of the page:

France Launches Its Own Version of CNN

France on Wednesday launched a French-language all-news satellite network that will compete worldwide with CNN and the BBC World Service. The channel is the brainchild of French President Jacques Chirac, who complained at the outset of the Iraq war about how the French view of the war was being presented internationally. The channel's slogan is "All the news you're not supposed to know."



From Transmetropolitan #11, "Freeze me with your kiss, part two of three." Written by the creepily prescient Warren Ellis, art by the less creepy Darick Robertson and Rodney Ramos. Now, if the French name their channel TDF-1, I'm having my head frozen at the earliest opportunity.

Even more oddly, when I saw the story, I knew what issue it was from and where it was, which is unusual in and of itself for me. I went downstairs and got it, and there was a photo of a very old girlfriend stuck to the cover. (By which I mean she was a girlfriend from long ago, and not a girlfriend of advanced years. Besides, an older woman would never put up with me.) I must have put it there, and it was pretty appropriate, if you've ever read this issue.

Of course, said girlfriend didn't read comics, nor does my wife. (Who, if she knew I had so much as a mixtape from an old girlfriend, would glue my buttocks closed while I slept.) Looking back, I can only remember one girlfriend who read comics, and while she loved Transmetropolitan and Preacher, her favorite movie was Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which means all her taste is suspect. (Probably why she dated me...)

Long story short: deeply afraid more of Warren Ellis' predictions will come true. Also, little scared of my beloved wife. Have a good weekend, and keep this under your hat, eh? Read more!

Cold...so cold...


Did Spider start wearing a shirt because he was old, sick, and getting cold; or because Darick was finally sick of drawing all those tattoos? Either way, this is just a page from one of my favorite series ever, and I would've bought it for another ten years if they wanted to do it.

David Byrne of the Talking Heads once said, "People will remember you better if you always wear the same clothes." Y'know, it may have been another of the Talking Heads that said it, but it works better if you associate it with Byrne's oversized suit. Like Spider Jerusalem, or 90% of comic book characters. Though, presumably most of them have multiples of the same outfit, and don't wear their suit until it hardens into a sweaty, crusty shell like Spider. Yeah, maybe I'll try the multiple route.

And, if there was a god in heaven, Patrick Stewart would be getting a sack full of cash every month for Transmetropolitan: the Animated Series. Or a movie adaptation of Red, an Ellis three-issue series that would be perfect for him. Maybe we'll take a shot at it, later, but this weekend we'll have a longer look at some of Ellis' older work.

From Transmetropolitan #48, "Running Out" Written by Warren Ellis, penciled by Darick Robertson, inks by Rodney Ramos. Read more!