Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Seriously offending his three, four fans...

Between work, family, Christmas shopping; blah, blah, blah, I am out this week. Next week? Already done. This week? Writing it off. Except for this, I guess.

Not that things are going that badly, despite my rising levels of aggravation and annoyance: I do have my Christmas shopping done, except for my dad. I don't think he reads this, so I can say I'm probably going to get him some more Bond films; but I have to go dig around, since in past years I've already hit most of the high notes. Can't just give him Goldfinger again, now can I? Heck, I don't think I can give him Goldeneye again. Think I'm into the Timothy Dalton movies, but I did like those...

Anyway, having my shopping "done" just means I'll probably find more stuff for the kids or the nephews. Or myself. The other day, I finally saw DCUC Wave, um, 8? 9? The one that allegedly has Green Arrow and Black Canary...(Thanks to ItsAllTrue.net, it's 9) Part of it, anyway: Black Adam, Deadshot, Guardian. All of whom are nice enough, but I don't have a huge attachment to, so I left them on the shelf for the time being.

In particular, I didn't feel that warm fuzzy feeling for Guardian. Later, I thought about it for a moment, and could not definitely think of any comic I had ever read with Guardian in it. (DC's Guardian, anyway; I know I've read the occasional issue of Alpha Flight.) Off the top of my head, I'm positive I have the Secret Origins issue with him, and maybe some Steve Rude-drawn thing, the occasional appearance in the Superman or Superboy books. I'm pretty sure his real name was Jim Harper, his sidekicks were the Newsboy Legion (there's a name destined to age well...maybe the Twitter Tots or something) and he has been cloned at least once. Pfft. Big deal.

The next afternoon...I have to have Guardian. At least three jokes for him came up overnight, some of which might even be funny. For some reason, I imagine Guardian the same way I picture the WildC.A.T.s Spartan: heroic, steadfast, noble...and completely disposable. Every crossover opens with Guardian's brutal death, and closes with the triumphant debut of the new cloned Guardian. Who's exactly the same. Which may be a more scathing rebuttal of crossovers than I had intended. (Blackest Night could've featured several dozen Guardians...)And thanks to bad headmeat wiring, whenever Guardian dies/respawns, I would hear sound effects from the arcade Mario Brothers game...

And it didn't occur to me until some time later...I need him because the name of the company I work for? Guardian. Duhr. Look, when I leave work, I leave work.

4 comments:

SallyP said...

Aww, you can always think of new ways to use action figures!

Bubbashelby said...

I really wish I could find Guardian.

You realize he's DC's version of Captain America, right? A Kirby/Simon creation, he's basically a cop version of ol Cap. Even his shield resembles a police badge.

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