They aren't Secret Wars if you keep telling people about them, damnit!

As you can probably guess, I like getting comics with my toys--even if I already have said comics. For example, I've picked up a couple of the Marvel Universe Secret Wars 2-packs; and through that ever-present happenstance, I got two of the issues I actually had: Secret Wars #1 with Captain America and Klaw issue #5 with Nightcrawler and Storm. For some reason, I didn't get every issue when it was coming out, maybe every other one? I still have a nice copy of #8, and know I have #12 as well.

(In the same vein, I had Crisis on Infinite Earths #7-9 and got #12 years later. And I've read the trades of both multiple times, but can't remember the last time I owned either of them.)

So, these remaining two-packs have been pretty tempting, in particular Secret Wars #11, since I'm not positive I still have it; and it comes with Thor and the Enchantress. I've been having some fun with the modern Thor figure, but it would be nice to have the classic version; and I don't believe the Enchantress ever had a figure before. Of course, I couldn't say why they come with issue #11, and not #3 or #4, where Thor and the Enchantress have a little conversation.

I thought it was because the issues were packed in order, but they're not: Nightcrawler and Storm were in the last wave but came with issue #5. Or, they could've packed Thor and Enchantress with Thor #383 and perhaps squeezed in an extra, thirteenth pair of figures into the Secret Wars set.

With a framing sequence of the Enchantress--who had made a few faltering steps towards redeeming her evil ways--and her sister, Lorelei, who was even more evil and conniving; this issue was a flashback to the first Secret Wars. After she was injured in the fighting, Thor takes the Enchantress aside, since as the only two immortals of Asgard there, they could discuss things that mortals wouldn't be privy to. Well, that's what Thor says, but he's mostly just thinking about the glory the victor of the war would garner, although it would give the Enchantress the chance to make up for her past crimes.

Feeling like Thor just wants her as another soldier on his side--and not for anything else--the Enchantress conjures up a couple of tree monsters. But they're only a distraction, since she's amping up all her magical power to her lips, in the hopes of kissing Thor and ensnaring him forever. Before she gets the chance, though, she's attacked by one of the wandering monsters of the Beyonder's patchwork Battleworld. Thor easily saves her, and the Enchantress tries to bewitch him: he resists. Thor explains that a pretty goddess like herself doesn't have to resort to spells to win a god's heart, but whether he's leading her on or trying to encourage her better nature is unclear.

Meanwhile, in one of the bigger moments of the whole Secret Wars, the Molecule Man drops a mountain on top of the beleaguered heroes. The Enchantress and Thor return, as Dr. Doom's forces occupy the heroes' fortress. Doom charitably offers a merciful death, since Thor is outnumbered thirteen-to-one. (Charitably for Doom, anyway.) Thor glances briefly at the Enchantress; but knows in a moment those odds aren't going to become thirteen-to-two. Thor takes on the lot, fighting bravely, before apparently being incinerated by Ultron.

The Enchantress ends the story by explaining Thor of course survived; although he would be missing his traditional helmet and cape for most of the rest of the series. And to this day, she regrets not seizing the opportunity to prove herself to Thor. The point is completely lost on Lorelei, who is still at that point in a young woman's life when she is having too much fun turning young men to stone...maybe there's a metaphor in there somewhere, I'm not sure.

Did it ever bother anyone else that in the Secret Wars, the heroes side outnumbered the villains 22 to 16? (Counting Lockheed and latecomer Spider-Woman on the heroes side and latecomers Volcana and Titania for the villains.) Granted, the villains get Galactus and the heroes Hawkeye...

From Thor #383, "This Secret Love--!" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Ron Frenz, inks by Brett Breeding.