Tuesday, November 12, 2024

This isn't really a horror comic--oh, quit that!

From 1987, the Transformers #31, "Buster Witwicky and the Car Wash of Doom" Written by Bob Budiansky, breakdowns by Don Perlin, finishes by Jim Fern.
If you watch a bunch of old Transformers cartoons in one sitting, most of the episodes in the first two seasons seem to revolve around the Decepticons trying to get some new fuel source: it might seem repetitive, but if you landed on some weird new world, you'd probably spend a lot of time foraging for food too. And that's the start of this issue as well, as the Decepticons hijack an oil tanker. The mission goes smoothly, despite--or perhaps because--of the absence of Megatron and Starscream: the Decepticons were currently under the logic-based command of Shockwave, but he seemed to have to answer to Ratbat. Ratbat might have been a mere cassette, but he was also...an accountant? "Chief Decepticon fuel auditor of Cybertron"--yeah, he's totally an accountant. And Shockwave's leadership was proving as inefficent and wasteful as Megatron's, maybe worse: the tanker had been hijacked, after it had been emptied! Ratbat berates Shockwave, to maybe think outside the box, like exploiting the natives...and if Ratbat doesn't have a British accent, that's totally what I hear for him now. 

Meanwhile, in Portland, Oregon; business was booming at Sparkplug Witwicky's garage, since the addition of a new automated car wash. It's more like a combination car wash/drive-in relaxation spa, and weirdly popular. This was leaving his son, Buster, swamped with work; so much so that he can barely get away when his friend Jessie comes by. He complains about the work and the boredom, but still, Buster had decided he couldn't have adventures with the Autobots anymore, since his dad had had a heart attack and didn't need the stress.
Downtown, tech mogul G.B. Blackrock has a press conference, hyping the massive success of his automated car washes--like Sparkplug's--and presents a new and improved version. Look, there wasn't internet back then, but there had to be something better to do; a super-popular car wash chain should be suspicious as hell. Sure enough, Blackrock is under the control of Ratbat. That night at Sparkplug's, Jessie swings back by, and asks Buster to go through the car wash with her. Buster is being a thick-headed sourpuss until Jessie throws herself at him, but then she suddenly stops, seemingly mesmerized by the flashing lights in the car wash. She tells Buster she has to go, and he decides to follow in his truck. She drives to a Blackrock refinery, seemingly to fill up. Buster flashes his lights at her, to get her attention, breaking the hypnosis; but he's then stopped by Laserbeak! Buster was worried Laserbeak recognized him, but no, it had just been getting him in line. Buster realizes, the cars weren't being gassed up there, they were having their tanks siphoned. And tons of other cars and drivers were in line for the same, including Sparkplug!
As Jessie and Buster watch from a distance, G.B. Blackrock and Ratbat give a presentation, to a hypnotized crowd: look, it's mostly to get the exposition out for our benefit, okay? Ratbat had hypnotized Blackrock, then given him the first "Wash and Roll" unit. Blackrock's corporation then made and distributed more, which hypnotized drivers into delivering their tanks to the Decepticons. But, the hypnosis wore off too quickly; hence, enter the new and improved model! Then those pesky humans would stay hypnotized. Sparkplug's about to be the first victim, so Buster has stop him with his pickup, but is then chased into the car wash by Ratbat. Ratbat sucks the fuel out of Buster's truck, then encourages him to not waste energy struggling, just give up already! Buster fights Ratbat off with a tire iron while avoiding getting hypnotized, until Jessie can save him by coming through the other end of the car wash and backing into Ratbat.
Buster can't gamble on getting Autobot help in time, so he smashes a neon sign with his trusty tire iron, creating a flash that breaks the spell on everyone else. The crowd starts throwing things at Ratbat and Laserbeak, who were far from the biggest Transformers, but I'm still pretty sure they could've murdered everyone there. Still, that would hardly be fuel efficient, so they take off. Freed, G.B. Blackrock makes plans to make amends for the trouble caused--which feels like the least realistic turn of events in this entire comic--and Sparkplug thinks his son could do better than pumping gas. Buster and Jessie have a kiss in the end, which I doubt would've flown on the cartoon, so good for them.

1 comment:

Mr. Morbid said...

Constant fuel issues just seems like a given considering most Transformers are vehicles, so that checks out. The search for sustainable fuel & energy resources would continue being an issue for both sides throughout the series, culminating in Grimlock finding a new sustainable energy source called Nucleon. Not only was this fuel source better it was later found out to resurrect the dead. Of course later on Grimlock would why Nucleon was so damn dangerous; while it would boost your overall strength & abilities to the max, you’d lose the ability to transform.

Blackrock would later assemble a group of super-powered individuals, both humans & mutants, called the Neo-Knights to fight both sides of Transformers. Later they’d appear in the final issue of the original series to help the Autobots fight the Decepticons.