It's cruel to do that to a possum! To Jonah Hex though...

I'm posting the cover partly so I don't buy it again, but it was a pretty distinctive one of that era: from 1983, Jonah Hex #76, "Caged!" Written by Michael Fleisher, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Tony DeZuniga. Cover by Ross Andru and Joe Rubinstein.

This series would end with issue #92, but I'm surprised some plot threads were already in motion, namely poor Emmylou: she had been a captive of the Crows, and was Jonah's new girl, except he was still in love with his estranged wife Mei Ling. They get attacked by three bushwhackers, who Jonah guns down in three panels; criticizing their tactics as he does! He reckons they were just random bandits, but not this time: they had been sent by his old foe Quentin Turnbull, who was trying to kill Hex to avenge his son. (Hex had been framed for that one by the Union; one of the few deaths in the series that probably wasn't his fault!) Quentin has a flash of inspiration, when he sees his old slave Solomon's trapped possum.

Jonah later gets clonked on the head, so he can be taken to meet Governor McKinley Phelps, who wants him to commit some crimes, get arrested, and sent to the state prison for a month or so, so he can report on doings inside. I feel like I've seen this plot before on an old western show; nothing good can come of it, so of goddamn course Hex takes the job, after insisting on a handwritten letter certifying he was innocent. I'm very sure he was being scammed, but it was a kind of scummy out for him to ditch Emmy. After a few robberies, Hex is brought in, quickly sentenced, and shipped to the state pen; while both Mei Ling and Emmylou see his name in the headlines. Mei Ling defends Hex after her brother trash-talks him and their kid; while Emmylou is more free to act, which will probably just put her in more danger later, right?

The prison is, naturally, cruel and unusual: the warden and sadist head guard Kozrak don't just abuse the prisoners, they're also pocketing most of the budget and cheaping out on food and such. Hex defends an old-timer who collapses while breaking rocks, and catches a substantial beating for it, then gets thrown in the hole. I'm not sure his luck would improve next month! I'm not even sure he cleared his name before getting sent to the future... Read more!

I swear I never see all four issues of this in the same quarter bin, because I'd absolutely buy it so I could be sure: from 1983, Sword of the Atom #3, "Mourning's End" Written by Jan Strnad, art by Gil Kane. (Kane also has a co-editing credit, with Dick Giordano; I wonder how he finagled that.)

The title refers to both plot threads this issue: Ray Palmer was still stuck at six-inches tall in a South American jungle, and was currently preparing the rebel army to attack the city Morlaidh. Ray had managed to not get killed by the archer Voss, and makes him second in command; since the rebel leader Taren had been blinded, and expected to die soon. And does, sacrificing himself to an ant swarm rather than let Ray risk his life defending him. This does free up Princess Laethwen to go after Ray, since life in the jungle was uncertain, and they didn't have time to wait.

Meanwhile, back in Ivy Town, Ray's ex-wife Jean Loring has buried the body that had been identified as Ray's, from his ring: she was a good enough lawyer, to know that was circumstantial evidence at best. Actually, it's less good lawyering than good old-fashioned spite that leads her to the right conclusion: Jean figures it would be "just like him, too" if he were to turn up alive now. The nerve! She heads to South America, where she may find some answers before the end of the series. Read more!

"Wahoo."

Gwenpool! Yes, Gwenpool was always intended to show for the wrap-up of "Seasonal Affective D'spayre," but since this went on (and on...) we didn't get to here, until after the new Gwenpool series was announced. That was after the teaser, of the dug-up grave of Gwen Stacy; who appears to have returned as a Wolverine-like killer. I don't know why either. This could just be for shock value, or maybe they're going somewhere with this. Spider-Man guest-stars, and I'm not sure fans are loving the current run of books there either. Then again, Jeff the Land Shark guests too, and everybody loves him from the Marvel Rivals game, if not just because. 

 We've seen that one cop before too: it's the Joseph Gordon-Levitt Mattel Movie Masters GCPD Blake figure. Who seems to get jerkier every time he shows up here. Huh.

Man, I haven't seen the Exorcist in a bit. But, like Gwen says, I don't have an exterior shot for the bar!

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Admittedly, it felt like a week reading this one.

Even though I know I didn't, it feels like I read all of one comic last week. Oh, and another volume of Chainsaw Man, but too bad for you, we're looking at 2000's Heroes Reborn: Doom #1, "Doom" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Mike McKone, inks by Mark McKenna, letters by Richard Starkings and Comicraft. So many letters...

I was trying to sort out where this one fell: a gazillion years ago, we saw the Chuck Dixon/Leonardo Manco Doom mini-series, where Victor ends up stranded without armor and weapons on the Heroes Reborn earth that had been created by Franklin Richards: I had to look it up, that's after this series. We also saw a bit of continuity backfill, in a Thor annual, explaining what happened when the other heroes returned to regular Earth-616; that maybe doesn't work because Doom has his armor back there, but whatever. By this point, Doom is conquering the hell out of the largely hero-less earth--who did they have left? Proto-Iron Man Rebel? Girl Bucky? While Doom had a crew of hitters, most of whom are seemingly terrified of him but still betray him; but he had a few that were maybe loyal so far: a really murdery Lady Dorma, the Celestial Ashema, and Lancer. Seeing Lady Dorma is mildly interesting: she had of course been dead in regular continuity for years, and wasn't quite considered a saint like the likewise passed Gwen Stacy, but close. Somehow, Claremont seems to be implying that Namor was a humanizing influence on her (and the other Atlanteans there) and without him Dorma could be a monster.

I also had to look up Lancer, since I remember her appearing at Doom's side for a bit there; but I wasn't sure what happened to her. Narratively, it would make the most sense for her to be loyal to Doom until he eventually went too far, or used her up entirely: arguably, she would have been a creation of Franklin Richards and not necessarily "real," but that would hardly matter to Doom either way, he'd still see here as just another tool for him to use as needed. I don't think her story was really resolved, and neither was her world's: the thrust of this issue, is Doom uses an attack by the Dreaming Celestial to get the power to move the Heroes Reborn earth out of its pocket dimension and into the real world, on the other side of the sun, where the High Evolutionary's Counter-Earth used to be, taking that name. It may or may not still be there to this day? I've noticed this before, but I'm still surprised: so in the 616 universe, today, there's probably at least four earths around somewhere: the regular one, this one, the High Evolutionary's (that got stolen some time back) and the New Universe one that was sealed off. Suck on that, Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planetary Development!...that might be the nerdiest reference we'll ever make here. Read more!

He's offering her his sword, meaning his...um, it's a metaphor.

I had been looking for this one for a bit, and I picked it up with a ton of books last week: from 1994, Legionnaires Annual #1, "Castles in the Air" Written by Mark Waid and Ty Templeton, pencils by Paul Pelletier and Jeff Moy, inks by Mark Farmer, John Lowe, Wade von Grawbadger, and Ron Boyd.

1994 was the Elseworlds-themed annuals for DC, and while we've seen way more of the Legends of the Dead Earth ones, we've seen a Batman one, a Robin one...and that's it? Huh. This issue puts an Arthurian spin on the Legion, opening with R.J. Brande and his new recruit, Rokk Krinn, mining nth metal from the ruined planet Thanagar. (Traditionally, Legion flight rings were made with an anti-gravity metal invented by Mon-El; I don't know if this is the first time it and nth metal were connected.) The Dark Circle had been destroying or enslaving worlds across the universe; and Brande had gathered numerous powered kids to join the Legion, and defend the space station Avalon. Today should be a day of celebration there, as Rokk Krinn was finally marrying Imra Ardeen--that's Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl--but the wedding is interrupted by not one by two lightning-powered intruders: the assassin Mekt Ranzz, who is stopped by his brother, Garth. Mekt escapes, and Garth gives a solid wall of text speech, about how he should've been a Legionnaire instead of trying to hunt down his brother. Imra checks him out mentally, and he clears, but she seems to see something else.

The other Legionnaires find a snake in their midst, who had let Mekt in: perennial Legion traitor Hart Druiter, Nemesis Kid. For his crimes, he is executed by Alchemist/Element Lad; establishing that this Legion didn't have a "no killing" rule, but were pretty bound by their other laws. Hart's dying speech claims nothing can stop the Dark Circle, not even the Miracle Machine: while some of the team believed in it, Rokk did not, dismissing the reality-bending device as a wishful fantasy. As time goes by, Brande passes away, and leadership weighed heavily on Rokk; who wishes his wife was a little more supportive and didn't spend so much time in "virtual space," where she was having a virtual affair, with her true "dearheart" Garth. But, after sabotage damages the station (and, in passing, kills Brainiac 5, Invisible Kid, and Polar Boy) a small band of Legionnaires begin a quest for the Miracle Machine. They start with Queen Projectra, who uses magic to find it, but the trail leads to Mordru, who's so evil it seemingly breaks her.

Meanwhile, on monitor duty, Imra investigates a door alarm, and finds Garth seemingly beaten by Mekt. In fact, Mekt had been there, to try to convince him to join the Dark Circle: Garth refuses, but also won't let Imra gun Mekt down, either. That would probably look bad enough, but when the two are caught together, it's blatantly obvious to everyone, making them doubly guilty in the eyes of Alchemist. Imra pushes Garth to escape, and is later sentenced to death. Ultra Boy and his band refuse to watch that, going off on their quest. They journey to Sorcerers' World, where they are quickly captured by Mordru.

Before Alchemist can pass sentence on Imra, Garth swoops in to rescue her, much to Rokk's relief. But, that distraction was exactly what the Dark Circle needed to invade Avalon. Back on Sorcerers' World, Mordru is mildly taken aback, when the Legionnaires tell him they were searching for the Miracle Machine: Mordru had destroyed that himself, to keep it out of the hands of the Dark Circle. The heroes feel kind of dumb then, like their quest was a waste, and Rokk had been right all along and unity had been the answer. On Avalon, Mekt fights Rokk, but also offers him a spot in the Dark Circle: he'd had the stones enough to sentence his wife to death, he might have been hard enough for them. Rokk refuses, but is mortally wounded, as Mekt takes his flight ring, before Imra stabs him in the back. Mordru returns the other Legionnaires to Avalon; not out of kindness, but because he also hated the Dark Circle. The team rallies, and the Circle's troops are driven off. Rokk dies, but he's happy that his dream had been fulfilled and his friends would be happy together; and Imra and Garth lead Avalon, and Earth, and a new United Planets, into the future. 

I have, at best, a passing acquaintance with Arthurian lore--probably mostly gathered from repeated viewings of Excalibur. Still, the Legion slots into those roles pretty well!

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"There's a lesson here somewhere," he said for the fifth time.

So I've been blogging Warlord comics randomly for years, which means I've not been reading them in any particular order; which makes it mildly annoying when a plot is repeated, or Travis doesn't learn a lesson; whether or not this is the first time it's happened to him. From 1979, Warlord #23, "The Children of Ba'al" Written and penciled by Mike Grell, inks by Vince Colletta.

Bathing in a river, Travis hears people nearby, and finds a group of blond, pretty youngsters; right before they're attacked by green-skinned brutes. He rushes to their defense, even if the blonds seem unwilling or unable to stand up for themselves. After the fight, he's a little upset they didn't try to help him out, and they give him the Vulcan hand salute.

Travis is mildly impressed the "Children of Ba'al" have managed to build a peaceful, egalitarian society; but dismayed that they won't fight back. Taking the fight to the green "Orms," one girl accompanies him, and together they knock out the artificial sun of the Orms' underground city. He remarks that he's seen it before: "The more highly advanced the civilization, the more savage they become!" And sure enough, Travis gets clonked on the head, and set up to be the sacrifice...to Ba'al! Oh, and they're cannibals. Well, at least that's not wasteful.

Luckily, Travis is saved, by the Orms, who don't hold a grudge or anything. In fact, they had a bit of a chuckle at his dumbassery; but did have to wipe out the Children of Ba'al: they were merely annoying before, but if Travis had taught them to fight, they would've been dangerous. The Orms send him on his way, with a passing comment that might indicate they were cannibals as well, or that they had a pretty good sense of humor. Either or.

This was a fairly standard plot for Warlord...and probably any other sword-and-sorcery adventure comic you choose to name: the hero sides with a pretty face, gets double-crossed in short order. Warlord #48 has a good example, so does the awful Warlord #10 (third series). He'll learn eventually...
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I'm just saying, other companies can still produce black & white magazines; we haven't lost the technology.

By Crom's black beard...! I was going to say, I've complained before, when Marvel had the Conan license, and re-launched Savage Sword of Conan not as a black-and-white magazine, but a traditional comic; which was malfeasance bordering on sacrilege. Then I remembered, didn't I buy all those from a show recently? And if so, where the hell did I put them...I got all distracted, but my point was, I should be mad at this issue, for not coming in the classic Bizarre Adventures format, too: from 2019, Bizarre Adventures #1.

Oddly enough, this would be the first #1 issue for the title: it had been Marvel Preview up until 1981, although it had two "Bizarre Adventures" issues before the title change. This issue features four stories from characters who did, or certainly could have, been featured in the magazine days; starting with a Bloodstone story, with the classic monster-hunter. (Elsa's dad to you newbies!) "The Star-Spawned Sorcerer" Written by Jed Mackay, art by Chris Mooneyham.

Next, Shang-Chi in "The Lesson," which features kung-fu action, again in the vein of the magazine days. Shang faces an old master, but is he the unstoppable weapon he could be...? (Written by Sebastian Girner, art by Francesco Manna, color art by Andy Troy.) Then, Dracula, who of course had his own black & white mag, in "Eveline O'Reilly." Drac revisits an old foe, whom he had conflicting feelings for; but time has long since marched on. (Written by Becky Cloonan and Michael Conrad, art by Becky Cloonan, color art by Lee Loughridge.)

There were three variant covers for this book, but I have the Black Goliath one by Aaron Conley, who also draws the three-page closer with the giant hero in 70's style. It's silly, although his "ew, no, I'm a normal human" crack is a bit rough. ("How Does He Do It?" Written by Jon Adams, art by Aaron Conley, color art by John Rauch.)

For a buck, this was pretty good! Although I wish I had a big stack of black & white next to me now.

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"Jammed."

While I (of course) agree with Kurt, that Orchis guys deserve whatever bad end comes to them; you might get where Satana is coming from. I don't think she's a big nerd, but she would've watched Next Generation, and probably saw this surprisingly brutal death from the episode "In Theory":

That, and on BlueSky, Max the Comics Guy points out what happens when you get rid of all the X-Men who aren't cool with murder, you're left with... 

I still haven't bought the Superior Iron Man figure...I'm hoping to find him on the cheap later. I also forget what the gimmick of that particular suit was; like didn't it have symbiote parts or tech or goo or something? I don't think it moved like a Carnage or Venom, though. I also know I read the first parts of Axis...wait, maybe I didn't; those covers don't ring a bell. I probably read an issue or two of Axis: Revolutions or the Amazing X-Men crossover issue; which have the fights Kurt refers to.

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Harsh!

I thought this was the only issue of that series not to be blogged here yet, but even if not, I hadn't read it before just now! From 1985, Moon Knight #2, "Deadly Knowledge" Written by Alan Zelenetz, pencils by Chris Warner, inks by E. R. Cruz.

The second issue of the brief "Fist of Khonshu" run, and the status quo was still being established. Marc now had more pronounced super-strength under the moon, as demonstrated when he accidently knocks a boorish jerk through a window. He also misses the chance to try and talk to Marlene, who takes off at the sight of him. That's not a good sign...Marc at one point also considers, he was rich, and he could hire P.I.'s to track her down; but rejects the notion, yet still chases her cab in his Corvette. But, his pursuit is interrupted, by another vision, from the "priests of Khonshu." (That was retconned, I think in West Coast Avengers; I forget how.)

The vision sends him to the Yucatan, where Moon Knight rescues a pretty (crabby) doctor from a kidnapping. Dr. Grail was trying to expose researcher Arthur Harrow, whose own disfigurement and pain had driven him to human experimentation. He had already built several zombie-like slaves, impervious to pain. Harrow was also an operative of O.M.N.I.U.M., a secret organization...that never came up again? Harrow himself escapes, and also never appears again...until the Disney+ Moon Knight series! Well, I suppose they couldn't start that show with Bushman, that'd be throwing the viewers into the deep end right away. But the two versions are completely different, except I don't think either were ever sympathetic characters, just straight monsters.

I suppose if we haven't got more of the Moon Knight show by now, it's probably not happening, huh? Too bad. 

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