Five different covers, and the main characters in this issue aren't on any of them?

...did they have the title and the release slot, then had to write it?

I think I'm confusing Dark Crisis with Death Metal Trinity Crisis, mostly just because I bought them from the same dollar bins. This issue I can recommend, though! From 2023, Dark Crisis: Big Bang #1, written by Mark Waid, pencils by Dan Jurgens, inks by Norm Rapmund.

The opening is pretty stark, as the Flash--Barry Allen--stares at a hologram of the multiverse and announces "I'm looking for the man who murdered me." He explains to Kid Flash (Wallace) and the reader, that the "cosmic limitation" on the multiverse had been lifted (from 52, presumably) and now an infinite number of earths were there to be rediscovered. But, that also could mean the Anti-Monitor was out there destroying realities, and the Flashes head out in search of him. They zip through several universes, a neat little tour, before finding the Anti-Monitor hitting Earth-28, a mech-suit version of the JLA. Barry had just wanted to do recon, but when Wallace is grabbed he has to pull out one of his more dangerous tricks: run repeatedly around the world, accelerating to nearly-infinite mass, for a punch that knocks the Anti-Monitor across realities!

Barry keeps that up, repeatedly hitting Anti-Monitor and avenging his torture on the treadmill in the original Crisis; but A-M eventually grabs him. (The above page isn't just neat; it's also thematically appropriate, since Batman and the Joker were among the last to see Barry alive in Crisis!) It's all over for Barry, until Wallace shows up, with back-up gathered from all over the multiverse! Barry briefs them on the plan, to knock the Anti-Monitor into the anti-matter universe; but doesn't tell them that whoever lands the last punch to shove him in will probably get sucked in as well. Racing around the world again, his life passes before his eyes in an instant, but he's okay with it, and knocks the Anti-Monitor through...but is himself saved by the Batman Green Lantern! (I think that's from Batman: In Darkest Knight, although I can't remember if he had the bat-ears in that one!) I really like the ending, though, where Barry describes the multiverse as "a door to a place without limits." (Or, it can be like everyone you know, only as pirates or cowboys or dinosaurs or...) 

This is perhaps not unlike that Spider-Boy issue we saw a while back, that also walked back the destruction of some minor yet beloved alternates. Also this issue, after a tribute to Carlos Pacheco; Barry Allen's notes on the multiverse and the earths he had cataloged: Kamandi is back on Earth-51, Tommy Tomorrow on Earth-54, and I wonder if I can find a reprint or cheap copy of Adventure Comics #387. The cover doesn't mention it, but Earth-387 is described as "no divergences in history other than every inhabitant is a werewolf." Sounds fun!

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So I mentioned this one on BlueSky the other day, and knew I had bought it recently but didn't have it handy. And, um, it was directly behind me. (Another fun bit of nonsense: I recently got rid of my old bed, which had a massive headboard. I miss having it to hang stuff on, but it was in my way for years otherwise; and it being gone has just destroyed my sense of object permanence. I keep expecting to bump into it...) From 1989, Secret Origins #40, featuring "Gorillas in Our Midst" Written by Cary Bates and Greg Weisman, pencils by Carmine Infantino, inks by Mike DeCarlo; "The Legend of Congorilla" Written by Tom Joyner, pencils by Fred Butler, inks by Kez Wilson; and "If U Cn Rd Ths" Written by Rusty Wells, "plot and tardiness" by Andy Helfer, art by Mark Badger. Cover by Bill Wray.

This series ran to issue #50: I always think this was closer to the end, but that was probably the Ambush Bug issue. On the letters page, editor Mark Waid explains the rationale for this all-ape issue: back in the 50's and 60's, the prevailing wisdom was that gorillas sold comics, and he estimates DC had about 200 gorilla/monkey/ape covers. Even though that was some time ago, it's still a beloved bit of DC lore and still returns here and there for stuff like JLApe. Carmine Infantino did a bunch of those gorilla covers himself, and returns here for the secret origin of Gorilla City, and its two most famous inhabitants, Solovar and Grodd. Then, it's Congo Bill and Congorilla, told completely straight, like a "jungle noir."

"If U Cn Rd Ths" is doubtless the high point, though: the secret origin of Detective Chimp. This one's a departure from his 50's origin, as tiny alien scientists increase Bobo's intelligence; but Waid suggests if you use your imagination it still fits. (Detective Chimp can talk now, can't he? He couldn't for a long time.) Waid also laments he would never get to do another issue like this again...unless he "can dredge up three more gorillas to put in this book next year." Titano, Angel and the Ape, and the Gorilla Crime Boss of Gotham! Boom, done, get on it. Read more!

He's offering her his sword, meaning his...um, it's a metaphor.

I had been looking for this one for a bit, and I picked it up with a ton of books last week: from 1994, Legionnaires Annual #1, "Castles in the Air" Written by Mark Waid and Ty Templeton, pencils by Paul Pelletier and Jeff Moy, inks by Mark Farmer, John Lowe, Wade von Grawbadger, and Ron Boyd.

1994 was the Elseworlds-themed annuals for DC, and while we've seen way more of the Legends of the Dead Earth ones, we've seen a Batman one, a Robin one...and that's it? Huh. This issue puts an Arthurian spin on the Legion, opening with R.J. Brande and his new recruit, Rokk Krinn, mining nth metal from the ruined planet Thanagar. (Traditionally, Legion flight rings were made with an anti-gravity metal invented by Mon-El; I don't know if this is the first time it and nth metal were connected.) The Dark Circle had been destroying or enslaving worlds across the universe; and Brande had gathered numerous powered kids to join the Legion, and defend the space station Avalon. Today should be a day of celebration there, as Rokk Krinn was finally marrying Imra Ardeen--that's Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl--but the wedding is interrupted by not one by two lightning-powered intruders: the assassin Mekt Ranzz, who is stopped by his brother, Garth. Mekt escapes, and Garth gives a solid wall of text speech, about how he should've been a Legionnaire instead of trying to hunt down his brother. Imra checks him out mentally, and he clears, but she seems to see something else.

The other Legionnaires find a snake in their midst, who had let Mekt in: perennial Legion traitor Hart Druiter, Nemesis Kid. For his crimes, he is executed by Alchemist/Element Lad; establishing that this Legion didn't have a "no killing" rule, but were pretty bound by their other laws. Hart's dying speech claims nothing can stop the Dark Circle, not even the Miracle Machine: while some of the team believed in it, Rokk did not, dismissing the reality-bending device as a wishful fantasy. As time goes by, Brande passes away, and leadership weighed heavily on Rokk; who wishes his wife was a little more supportive and didn't spend so much time in "virtual space," where she was having a virtual affair, with her true "dearheart" Garth. But, after sabotage damages the station (and, in passing, kills Brainiac 5, Invisible Kid, and Polar Boy) a small band of Legionnaires begin a quest for the Miracle Machine. They start with Queen Projectra, who uses magic to find it, but the trail leads to Mordru, who's so evil it seemingly breaks her.

Meanwhile, on monitor duty, Imra investigates a door alarm, and finds Garth seemingly beaten by Mekt. In fact, Mekt had been there, to try to convince him to join the Dark Circle: Garth refuses, but also won't let Imra gun Mekt down, either. That would probably look bad enough, but when the two are caught together, it's blatantly obvious to everyone, making them doubly guilty in the eyes of Alchemist. Imra pushes Garth to escape, and is later sentenced to death. Ultra Boy and his band refuse to watch that, going off on their quest. They journey to Sorcerers' World, where they are quickly captured by Mordru.

Before Alchemist can pass sentence on Imra, Garth swoops in to rescue her, much to Rokk's relief. But, that distraction was exactly what the Dark Circle needed to invade Avalon. Back on Sorcerers' World, Mordru is mildly taken aback, when the Legionnaires tell him they were searching for the Miracle Machine: Mordru had destroyed that himself, to keep it out of the hands of the Dark Circle. The heroes feel kind of dumb then, like their quest was a waste, and Rokk had been right all along and unity had been the answer. On Avalon, Mekt fights Rokk, but also offers him a spot in the Dark Circle: he'd had the stones enough to sentence his wife to death, he might have been hard enough for them. Rokk refuses, but is mortally wounded, as Mekt takes his flight ring, before Imra stabs him in the back. Mordru returns the other Legionnaires to Avalon; not out of kindness, but because he also hated the Dark Circle. The team rallies, and the Circle's troops are driven off. Rokk dies, but he's happy that his dream had been fulfilled and his friends would be happy together; and Imra and Garth lead Avalon, and Earth, and a new United Planets, into the future. 

I have, at best, a passing acquaintance with Arthurian lore--probably mostly gathered from repeated viewings of Excalibur. Still, the Legion slots into those roles pretty well!

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If the timeline is so bent out of shape you're starting to notice...you might be a Legionnaire.

This issue is the first of a six-part crossover, but it's mislabeled as "End of an Era: Conclusion" on the cover. But, that'll be the least confusing part of it! From 1994, Legionnaires #17, "End of an Era, part one: History Lesson" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Chris Gardner, inks by Dennis Cramer.

If you're not up on your Legion history, this would be a dive into the deep end; as it was the start of the crossover with the main Legion of Super-Heroes title and Valor, that would wrap up about five years of the "Five Years Later" storyline begun by Keith Giffen, as well as about 36 years of continuity as they headed into their first reboot. By this point, there were two versions of much of the 30th century team: the somewhat bleak older versions, and the "SW6 Batch" younger heroes that had been found when they escaped from the Dominators during their occupation of earth. (Which had since been blown up! The moon too.) There weren't still two versions of everybody, though: after three Legionnaires capture a deranged Rokk "Cosmic Boy" Krinn trying to rebuild earth, most of both teams had gathered on the funeral asteroid Shanghalla, to mourn the loss of the younger Laurel Gand. (Who was a post-Crisis continuity patch replacement for Supergirl!) Unfortunately, the mourning period is stepped on by the arrival of both Brainiac 5's and Invisible Kid. (One Brainy looked much, much older; after a battle with time-travelling baddie Glorith.) They've got some bad news, about the end of the universe...

Put simply, both in-story and in publication, the Legion's timeline was completely flarked; and they appeared to be turning into the skid here pre-Zero Hour. Long-time supporting character and time-travel researcher (and secret GL!) Rond Vidar points out recent changes, like the sudden and unexplained arrival of young versions of Star Boy and Dream Girl: everyone had been acting like they had been there the whole time, but if they really thought about it, they maybe just showed up last week? And another more recent supporting character, former P.I. Celeste McCauley had Green Lantern energy powers previously, now she was a Darkstar? (She's drawn to resemble a female version of the bald, reddish-skinned one from the Travis Charest ads for that brief series; even more than just having the elaborate costume!) The Legionnaires aren't really shaken by this yet, feeling that "the heart of the Legion still holds!" Until, the older Brainy leads them to a funeral marker, for Superboy, whom half of them don't seem to remember. (That wasn't across old/new lines, either, just some did and some didn't.)

The Brainy's explain, the timeline keeps shifting, but since they keep shifting with it, they aren't necessarily aware of it. To illustrate his point, the marker for Chemical King is briefly replaced by Chameleon Boy, as Chemical King switches with him for a moment. The timeline problems had started--allegedly, we know they'd been around longer--when the SW6 entered stasis; which brings up a sore point: so far, it had never been firmly determined what the SW6 was. The obvious answer would have been some kind of clones or duplicates created by the Dominators, but they weren't. There was even some proof that pointed at the younger versions being "real" and the older versions "knock-offs," as Leviathan indelicately puts it.

Before a fight can break out between the two versions, some actual villains appear from nowhere, and a pretty powerful lot: Satan Girl, Urthlo, and the adult Legion of Super-Villains Cosmic King, Lightning Lord, and Saturn Queen! (Sun Boy--the younger Sun Boy, who might have been using the name Inferno? He gets popped in the mouth before he can point out 'Satan Girl' was a duplicate of Supergirl--who, in the updated continuity, would've been Laurel Gand, but that wouldn't work without a lot of rejiggering: Satan Girl was created by Supergirl being affected by Red Kryptonite, and the Daxamites didn't have an analog to that...ah, continuity.) The adult LSV from Superman #147 might even be one of the first Legion continuity problems, as they had attacked an adult Superman, but were stopped by adult versions of the original three Legionnaires. By the way, big shout out to DC's old digests like Adventure Comics and Best of DC Blue Ribbon, since that's where I read reprints of a lot of the classic Legion stories referenced!

The brief fight is just a distraction, as the new power couple Mordru and Glorith have captured Rokk Krinn, and disappear. Luckily, the Legion had Dawnstar--minus her glorious wings, but she still had her tracking power! She could find Rokk anywhere in the universe...except she just disappeared mid-sentence. Super. There's a slight bit of logic to Dawnstar disappearing, beyond "narrative convenience," but get ready for way more of that as the story continues! Some characters will get final moments or big goodbyes, and others will just poof! Be gone, off-panel, when you weren't looking. Which maybe feels like a metaphor for the Legion, somehow. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: Flash Special #1!

We haven't had an 80-pager here since last August? That seems like a hundred years ago; but then, Flash's 50th anniversary here was 34 years ago...(crumples into dust, like the Flash in Crisis!) From 1990, Flash Special #1, featuring stories by Mark Waid, Len Strazewski, William Messner-Loebs, and one other I won't mention; art by Mike Parobeck, Irv Novick, Carmine Infantino, Grant Miehm, and more.

This one actually fills a bit of a hole for me, since I had been reading Flash on-and-off for some time, and when future Flash John Fox shows up, I didn't know where he had come from. If you go back and re-read those, I'm sure there's probably a caption box somewhere, saying go read this one. John was a historian from the 27th century, who gets sent back in time not for the usual research and whatnot, but an emergency: radioactive villain Manfred Mota was causing widespread devastation, and they needed to find out how the Flashes had beat him before. Never heard of him? Yeah, he's new here too!

In postwar Washington D.C. the Jay Garrick Flash is summoned to the office of J.Edgar Hoover, who doesn't care for mystery-men, but wants the Flash as a "spycatcher!" Jay isn't keen on spying on people who might be innocent, worse, his name is on a list of possible leaks in atomic weapons technology. Jay goes to visit a friend who might have been seen as less than "true-blue" American, but couldn't be a spy; and he's right: the janitor has been lifting stuff, and selling it to Mota, who's built himself a super-suit as "Atom-Smasher." With his friend's help, Jay manages to stop Mota, who wasn't a communist or anything as much as "a guy who liked to blow things up." (This would've been just before the JSA retired, rather than become government stooges.) John gets to see most of the fight, but is recalled before he can talk to Jay.

This keeps going on, as Mota keeps getting thrown in jail, then diving back into radiation and crime when he gets out; eventually melting down and sinking into the earth. John keeps just missing the Flashes, so doesn't learn much of anything; but in the 27th century a radiation surge overloads the time-machine, dosing John with way too many tachyons. John's friends are killed, but John manages to return to the timeline, now with super-speed powers! Raiding the damaged Flash Museum for costume pieces, he makes a quick suit, then manages to lure the now-radioactive monster Mota into position, to send him to the year 50 billion...John says that like Mota would age that whole time, his radioactivity decaying; rather than just dumping his ass in the distant future: damning someone to 50 billion years of solitude seems kinda harsh? Enh. 

John seemed like a slightly-older man here: I want to say he seemed way younger in his later appearances? And while he had a reporter girlfriend here, he would go after Linda Park in the late 20th century; because everyone did. And he'd later get in trouble for stealing time-travel tech, so he maybe moved to the 853rd century: he would be part of Justice Legion A in DC One Million. Either because they needed a speedster type and maybe somebody the present heroes would recognize as mostly-cool; or because he couldn't go back to the 27th century 'til the heat was off.

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I got the new Marvel Legends Tarantula figure a bit ago, and while he's pretty far down the list of Spidey villains, it's not his first figure: per OAFE.net, he's gotten figures in 2009 and 1997. I mention that, because this classic foe has never gotten anything! Granted, that was about three seconds of looking, but he didn't appear to have ever gotten a Heroclix, a Minimate, anything; but he is in this fun tribute to Mike Wieringo: From 2008, Spider-Man Family #7, "Looter's Quest" Plot by Karl Kesel, Todd DeZago, and Mark Waid; pencils and inks by Karl Kesel and others, script by Todd DeZago and Mark Waid.

The Looter, Norton G. Fester, first appeared in 1966's Amazing Spider-Man #36, and feels more Steve Ditko than Stan Lee: a crackpot stumbles into a weird meteor and gets powers, hijinks ensue. I don't know if he always talked to his meteor, or if that was a recent addition; he was never one of the most prevalent of Spidey's bad guys. (Aside: I might need to read Web of Spider-Man #39, where he apparently steals Aunt May's engagement ring?) Today, the Looter's trying to be a good...friend to his meteor, and recover its (her?) "long-lost missing twin!" Spidey stops him at a museum, pointing out the only place to get the tracking equipment that could maybe find something like that would be the Baxter Building. The Looter then accidentally drops a hostage, whom Spidey saves, but the Looter is long gone, and Spidey has a pretty good idea where...

Spidey tries to warn the FF, but when the Torch goes to let him in on the roof, the Looter hits them with a "flash gun" which is a nice Ditko touch: Blue Beetle had one of those! Reed is mildly surprised the Looter had the wherewithal to use his complicated equipment: Looter claims to be a scientist, which Spidey doubts, and that the meteor increased his intelligence as well, which Spidey also doubts. Johnny, glancing things over, notes the twin meteor probably landed in the Savage Land; and the Looter sneaks off and swipes Ben's sky-cycle for the trip!

Perhaps wisely, Reed and Sue opt out of the trip to the Savage Land, leaving Spidey, Ben and Johnny; who discover the Looter trying to parley with another obscure Spidey bad-guy: Stegron, the Dinosaur Man! (Stegron had a 1998 Toy Biz action figure that I'm legitimately surprised I don't think I've ever owned; part of a villain wave called "The Vault" that included Ultron and Typhoid Mary, and each character came with restraints!) Ka-Zar and Shanna also show up: amusingly, Spidey seems way happier to see Shanna, which is understandable. They have to fight to save the Looter, who punches out Devil Dinosaur (!) to try and get the twin, but he instead finds what Spidey recognizes as the "Sphere of Sarakath," a mystical doodad that gave him and Dr. Strange the hassle once, in another Mike Wieringo issue! Ka-Zar suggests, maybe the Looter should consult with Strange about the meteor, and Ben knows what's coming: the Looter escapes again, through a portal. At Strange's Sanctum, Strange also appears to give the Looter the benefit of the doubt, and uses the Eye of Agamotto to track the twin meteor...to Europe somewhere...Latveria!

The Looter makes an attempt to swipe the Fantasticar for the next leg of his trip, but Reed and Strange had consulted on this one: the Fantasticar takes him to the Baxter Building again, where he's stopped by an Invisible Woman force field. They want to study the meteor, and see if they can break the Looter's delusions; but they're interrupted by the arrival of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents airdropping in, to take the Looter and the meteor into custody, for top-secret hush-hush reasons. But while he's being taken away, Reed lets slip if there was a twin to his meteor, it probably landed on the moon... 

There are precedents for sentient objects in the Marvel Universe: the first to come to mind is Green Lantern ring knockoff the Power Prism, of Doctor Spectrum; but there has to be others. I don't think the reader is ever privy to what, if anything, the meteor communicates to the Looter, so it makes him look really crazy, but is he? ...yes, he's a nut!

Also this issue: reprints of Venom: Lethal Protector #1, and Spider-Man: Death and Destiny #1. The latter was written and drawn by Lee Weeks, and was a sad story set around the death of George Stacy. There was also the manga-style "Spider-Man J" story "The Moth and the Flame."

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I feel like we've blogged some of the Batman Elseworlds annuals from 1994, but I specifically remember not liking the Shadow of the Bat one, which had a Brian Stelfreeze cover that looked like a younger Alex Baldwin as Bruce Wayne, and featured a Big Brother-style Batman, who had been raised by the Scarecrow, post WW III? Lot to unpack there, but it doesn't end well for anyone; I think the citizens of Gotham march on Wayne Manor or Arkham or whatever with torches and pitchforks. I also probably bought this one back in the day, but don't really recollect it right yet, so let's check Legends of the Dark Knight Annual #4, "Citizen Wayne" Written by Brian Augustyn and Mark Waid, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Horacio Ottolini.

We've seen that title before, in one of the worst Bat-stories I've ever read; and I know it's been used more than that! But this is a period noir-ish number, opening with a rainsoaked crime scene and Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent dead in a fall off a building, with Wayne clutching a torn-off bat emblem. A young assistant D.A. works the case, starting with Wayne Manor and a talk with Martha Wayne: Thomas had been killed years ago in a mugging, and Martha still felt like if they had given in, he would have survived. So, she spent the next 25 years perhaps a bit overprotective of her son, but she's also not entirely surprised he went out like that. Alfred fills in more backstory: Bruce had been a crusading newspaperman, owner of the Gotham Guardian, fighting the mobs from there. Which still occasionally involved fisticuffs! Still, Wayne had been well-trained, with a cameo by Ted Grant; and his main sparring partner was his old friend Harvey Dent, who seems a bit grimmer and more willing to go hands-on against crime. Before his accident, that is...the hospitalized Gordon had been injured at the same time as said "accident," which wasn't an accident at all; why is everyone using Fat Tony's phrasing?

(I misremembered the wording on that, I thought it was simply "Accidents will happen. To you. By us.") Gordon claims to have no memory of what happened, but a beat cop tells the D.A. about seeing Batman in action, tearing into some bootleggers and killing one with a bat-rope. It's front-page news, although Wayne calls the "Killer Crimebuster worse than crooks." The D.A. next questions Vicki Vale, who had suspicions about her boss, and other feelings; but no opportunity to see where either led. Later, he finally gets to Harvey Dent's widow, who felt she had lost him long ago...if she ever really had him; he had been consumed by his mission long before. The D.A. stops another cameo from visiting the widow: ace reporter and occasional creep, Jack Ryder! He recounts a meeting with Wayne, Vale, and the rest of the Guardian staff, after Batman had killed Boss Maroni: Wayne felt if the city's freedom had to be taken by someone outside the law, that freedom was worthless. Everyone else seems to agree, somebody had needed to do something, and Batman had stepped up; with Ryder pointing out if Bruce's dad hadn't fought that mugger, he might not be there right now.

You've probably guessed who the Batman was at this point, and spooked gunsel Zucco confirms it for the D.A.: the hideously scarred Dent was under the mask, and killed Maroni for that and ruining his city. This sends the D.A. back to Gordon, who is momentarily afraid Batman had come for him. He spills, how Maroni, Zucco, and their thugs had thought they were untouchable, and that they could "teach them a lesson." Gordon is shot, point-blank, multiple times; but gets off easy compared to Dent, whose entire face was destroyed with acid; both sides. Later, as Batman, Dent visited Gordon in the hospital, and explained he had to meet Maroni "on his elevated level," above the law: he might stop if Gordon asked him, but Gordon wanted revenge as well. With all the other pieces in place, the D.A. revisits Wayne Manor, where Martha admits she had tried to stop Bruce from facing Dent, but he felt he had to. Suiting up in armor, he had gone to stop his old friend, one way or another.

The D.A. puts it all together for his boss, but that bit of deduction is undercut by the fact that he had actually seen the fatal fight! He had been working late, and saw them on top of city hall across the street; so he's kind of guessing on what they might've said, but still. Dent had gone out a window and was hanging onto a gargoyle, Wayne had tried to save him, but the gargoyle gave way and both men fell to their deaths. Still, putting all of that together is a feather in the cap of the young D.A. Dick Grayson! Who isn't sure he's ready to be the city's main district attorney, but this case may have given him some other ideas... 

I just did a little checking: we've seen the Robin Elseworlds annual, and I think I mentioned getting another copy of the Pirate Batman one, and that's it? I've done way more of the Legends of the Dead Earth ones, and I could've sworn we had blogged Legends of the Dark Knight Annual #5 with Man-Bat before.

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Booster Gold is going to seem like their best friend by comparison.

How bad off do you have to be to actively want Bart Allen's help? Let's ask today's guest-stars, the Legion of Super-Heroes, in 1997's Impulse #21, "A Little Knowledge" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Craig Rousseau, inks by Wayne Faucher.

Bart would also guest in the Legion's own book, issue #88, which featured a cover homaging the Legion's first appearance in Adventure Comics #247; but this issue features another reference to their first visit to Superboy: the Legionnaires, in period civilian clothes, prank Bart by calling him Impulse. Bart does not take it as well as Clark did, since Clark didn't have to worry about zen speed master Max Mercury strangling him...Still, after that's sorted out, Bart is thrilled to see the teenagers from the future, since he assumed his cousin XS would be with them...and she's not. Nor are they there to make him a member: they were trapped in the 20th century, and needed help getting back to the 30th. Cue a flight-ring ride to the Flash Museum! Bart momentarily seems like he was going to leave them to it there, and bounce with Saturn Girl's flight ring.

Despite a brief warning from a ghostly Impulse, and a couple more manifestations, they still let Bart take them to the Cosmic Treadmill, which actually stumps Brainiac 5 for a moment: how is that thing powered? "Well, dur! It's a treadmill!" Impulse demonstrates, and Brainy immediately activates his force-field, causing them to briefly appear a few minutes earlier then return. (To Brainy's eye, even the Flash using that thing would've been unsafe!) Bart can seemingly only travel in a ten-minute window, and when he stops vibrating at a specific frequency, he and whatever he's carrying at the time return to his present. Attempting to show it could be done, Bart puts them all on the Treadmill, but seemingly only transports them to a lab, where a white monkey yelling "Koko!" jumps onto Brainiac 5's head and stays there.

Undeterred, Bart keeps trying, which of course leads to dinosaurs. He's then able to get rid of them, but loses the Treadmill, and the Legion has long since lost their patience. Well, Spark points out, while it was a complete waste of time, at least Brainy got a monkey out of the deal...and as they leave the museum, the Treadmill returns, none the worse for wear. 

The Legion has of course been rebooted a couple times since, and I don't know if XS is still a member, or even still Bart's cousin. That'd be a shame, he'd miss her.

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Tsop Eslupmi Rehtona Tey.

I have not been keeping up on DC books--although I need to get that issue of Young Justice guest-starring Warlord--but has Bart Allen been rolled back to Impulse? His runs--so to speak--as Flash and Kid Flash did not seem to take, possibly because DC seems steadfastly opposed to any legacy heroes moving up the ladder; but also because Impulse just works. There's also piles of material waiting to be mined teaming him up with some poor sap--um, lucky hero, every month. Editorial should consider a DC Comics Presents style book for him--or Brave and the Bold, if you wanted Bart to ask which one he was every month. But, today from his old book. from 1996, Impulse #17, "Quicker than the Eye" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Humberto Ramos, inks by Wayne Faucher.

Bart's mentor Max Mercury is always trying to teach him patience, often by dragging his own feet; but he might have a treat for him today: a backstage visit to Zatanna! Whose regular assistant is out, so why not use Bart? Although Zat seems to know Max's secret, she doesn't seem to realize Bart is Impulse, and Max can't explain in public. Despite having a handle on talking backwards, Bart is terrible onstage, with a frustrated Zatanna eventually blurting out "Trab--teg tsol! (EDITOR: Read Zatanna's magic spells backwards!) Bart disappears, possibly the first successful trick of the evening, so he shouldn't read too much into the thunderous applause it gets.

Bart appears in the mystic land of Kroz, which he treats like a videogame and largely walks all over its assorted dangers like giants, mummies, and Chun-Li types. Having followed him, Zatanna is having less luck, since her magic isn't working there. Or, at least it only works on Bart, but he's still able to defeat the final boss and recover the mystic power doodad; which he uses to make a pile of videogames, dress up Max as a maid, and summon dozens of rabbits for Zat before she takes it away and sends them home. The doodad doesn't work back on earth, but Bart graciously thanks Zatanna for the 'game' and offers to help clean up; she politely declines, figuring Max was waiting for him...


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This is a high-point for the title. I kind of hate it.

It was more than inevitable--in fact, it would happen much later--but Mark Waid makes the absolute most of the return of Barry Allen. Except...from 1993, Flash #79, "The Once and Future Flash" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Greg LaRocque, inks by Roy Richardson.

To the joy of his former sidekick Wally West, Barry Allen had returned from the grave, with a few gaps in his memory. Although his old pal Hal Jordan had seemingly verified him, Barry was violent, jealous of Wally, and eventually began a rampage against Central City for "forgetting" him. "Barry" turned out to be Eobard Thawne, the Reverse-Flash, Barry Allen's worst foe, who would eventually die at Barry's hands: this Eobard had yet to even meet Barry! From the 25th century, Thawne had idolized the Flash, putting together what historical information he could for him, including a tattered copy of his biography and the "holy grail of Flash collectibles": Barry's time-travelling Cosmic Treadmill! Having already altered his face to look like Barry, Thawne then subjects himself to the "electrochemical bath" that gave Barry his powers: a painful process that he claims took years of his life, but does give him super-speed superior to Wally's. But, with the treadmill mis-calibrated, Thawne arrives in Wally's time, disoriented and disappointed. Still, he's excited for a visit to the Flash Museum, and considers this an opportunity to continue Barry's legacy, to become the Flash. Studying the Flash's foes, he comes to the dreaded Reverse-Flash--Eobard Thawne! His mind already confused, Thawne panics, and takes refuge in the identity of Barry Allen; until Wally confronts him with his yellow costume.

Reasoning as long as he stays in the present (1993!) Barry can't kill him in the past (1983!) so the Reverse-Flash moves to destroy the Treadmill. Wally points out that would create a paradox, but if he wants to destroy "the holy grail of Flash collectibles" go ahead. Wally is only saved by Hal Jordan, Max Mercury, and Johnny Quick; who aren't any match for Thawne either, and Jay Garrick was already down with a broken leg. Planning later, Johnny reads Barry's biography, and is visibly surprised by the author, which Wally calls "the only good news to come out of this catastrophe." Thawne threatens Linda Park on live TV, and Wally wants to face him alone, leaving the rest in reserve in case he fails. It's not a great plan: Wally catches a solid beating from the faster Thawne, who then goes too far by claiming he'll make the city forget Barry Allen. After kissing Linda, Wally steps up and does something he's never wanted to do: replace Barry.

Now equally matched, the super-speed battle comes down to who will make the first mistake, and a moment's slip on rain-soaked ground gives Thawne the opening to hit Wally with the stone arm of Barry's statue. Wally needs a moment to regroup, and isn't going to get it--until a lightning bolt strikes in front of Thawne, shaking him up. With a whispered "thank you," Wally runs all over Thawne, who begs for death. Wally seemingly considers it, but tells him he might use the Cosmic Treadmill to torture him as a child, or kill him as a baby; and disappears into the future. Screaming in terror, Thawne takes after him, returning to the future and the course history had already set for him. Wally had merely disappeared at super-speed to trick him, and the issue ends with new statues at the Flash Museum for Barry and Wally, then Wally throws the Flash biography into the river without reading more about himself. Still, the author is his aunt Iris Allen, meaning she would be back...someday.

It's symbolic, and fits with the theme and all, but I hate the lightning bolt deus ex machina here. And you might have to take my word for this, but I know there was an unused Flash movie or TV treatment that involved him praying for help and the villain getting struck by lightning...I wish I remembered when that was from, and I probably read it in Wizard or something.
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"The End" Week: Captain America #454!

Well, this one was a long time coming: over the years we've seen the last issues before Heroes Reborn Fantastic Four #416, Thor #502, Iron Man #332, and Avengers #402, but we didn't get to this one until now. (Even thought I said "maybe we'll get to it next year" back in 2011.) From 1996, Captain America #454, "Sanctuary" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Ron Garney, inks by Scott Koblish.


Sharon Carter had been dead for almost longer than I had been reading comics at that point, since 1979's Cap #233. She was going undercover against the terrorist white supremacist National Force, but was caught, brainwashed, and allegedly burned to death. I don't feel like that death was intended to stick--Cap was shown it on video, for one thing--but creative teams may have changed and she was just left by the wayside. Waid brought her back, as a spy that had been left out in the cold, channeling what seemed like her resentment at being forgotten. Maybe a bit too much, she seems petulant at times; but this issue gets into some of what she was up to when she was gone: a long stint as a POW in Tap-Kwai. (Tap-Kwai being a fictional Eastern dictatorship that I don't think had appeared before, or since. It's not a 1:1 analogue for North Korea, but enh, close enough.) Cap kind of steps all over her mission, to show her she's not alone, and that's that.


Traditionally, some of Marvel's best runs have come when a book seemed to be stagnant or sinking, so was then turned over to someone who would pull out all the stops to bring it back: Simonson on Thor is probably my favorite example. After ten years on Cap, Mark Gruenwald seemed old hat (and his last year, Fighting Chance, wasn't a favorite) so it was up to Waid and Garney to pep things up again. And they did, it was a complete turnaround...just in time for them to get taken out at the knees. Like the other books we mentioned, Captain America was going to Heroes Reborn, so Waid and Garney were out after eleven issues, to make way for Rob Liefeld. I know I wasn't the only reader just pissed by that one, but at least in print here W&G are magnanimous. Rob only made it six issues, and his retcon update of Cap's origin was itself retconned by #7; after the pretty sweet Wildstorm crossover #13, Cap returned to the Marvel Universe proper, and to Waid and Garney! Garney would only stay on to #5, and Waid to #23 (story but not script there, though) but it was a more than welcome return.
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"The End" Week: Daredevil #18!

A couple months back, we looked at Ron Marz's last issue of Silver Surfer, and thought that sometimes when a writer leaves a book, they try to put some of the toys back in the box, a bit of a reset for the next writer. Other writers take the opposite approach, and maybe leave the next guy to fend for himself! From 2015, Daredevil #18, written by Mark Waid, art by Chris Samnee.

If you hadn't been reading Daredevil for a while, this would've been a tough issue to come into cold: Matt Murdock had gone completely public with his secret identity, very much owning the identity of Daredevil, now usually maskless in a red suit. With his girlfriend, lawyer Kirsten McDuffie, and long-time partner Foggy Nelson (who had to fake his own death, and was trying to beat cancer for good measure) Matt had moved to San Francisco and start a new practice. On top of that, this issue is the conclusion of several issues worth of plots, involving the Owl, the Kingpin, the Shroud, and Ikari. With Kirsten, Foggy, and former Spider-Woman Julia Carpenter held hostage by the Kingpin, Matt has to face Ikari, but the ninja is killed by the Shroud, who is more psycho here than I recalled. Gambling, Matt disguises himself as Ikari, and tells the Kingpin Daredevil died crying like a baby...

A fairly bloody fight follows, and the Kingpin is brought down, though he ominously warns Matt "You shouldn't have signed it." I don't know if that's a problem, since Marvel had to roll Daredevil's book back to resembling the Netflix version. When the new series started, Matt was back in New York City, with a secret identity again; it would be a few issues before new writer Charles Soule would reveal how that rabbit was put back in the hat. That doesn't take away from this issue, which is rock solid, and a rare happy ending for Matt. Waid and Samnee would go on do a new Black Widow series, I might have the last issue of that around here too.
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Nowadays, they'd call it "cosplay."

In 80's Punisher comics, Frank was able to go undercover sometimes and get information, because he wasn't just terrifying looking, like the modern Garth Ennis Punisher. Seriously, I don't know how that Frank could even buy groceries without scaring the crap out of people. But neither version ever made a hit under the guise of an ad campaign, like Wild Dog in today's book! From 1989, Action Comics Weekly #641. (Wild Dog segment, "Crack Up" Written by Max Collins, pencils by Terry Beatty, inks by John Nyberg.)

This was the second-to-last issue of the Action Comics Weekly run; it would return to being a monthly title with Action Comics #643. The anthology didn't catch on, I guess, since this issue had a telling U.S. Postal Service Statement of Ownership. Line C Total Paid Circulation: average number of copies each issue during preceding 12 months: 97,779. Single issue nearest to filing date: 60,309. Still, the Demon's serial this issue would be continued in his own comic, and another long-running strip, Blackhawk, would be promoted to ongoing as well.

I believe this was Wild Dog's last appearance for a while, and he goes out on a win, after casually strolling into a Chicago office building to gun down a mob meeting: onlookers assume he's a publicity stunt, probably for a Friday the 13th movie. WD's supporting cast tell him he has to quit afterwards, and he acquiesces...at least, until the next time he's needed. Also this issue: the conclusion of a Phantom Lady serial, another two-page Superman strip, and Phantom Stranger and Human Target stories. The latter was written by Mark Waid with pencils by Curt Swan (and inks by Dick Giordano) and features the Target trying to save an actor on a Batman '66 style show from deathtraps that aren't as fake as you'd think!

The Superman strip reminds me of the old public service announcements, although much more serious; like the kids from the old one didn't learn their damn lesson. ("Justice For All" Written by Roger Stern, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Murphy Anderson, with "special thanks to Tom Peyer.") That's all that would fit in the scanner! When I got this, I also got Action Comics Weekly #642, we'll check that later.
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