So, a few years back, we took a look at an issue of the New Universe title Justice, and I spent most of the post bitching about time zones. I also advised against buying those from the quarter bins, as "They'll just hurt you in the end." Yeah, you see where this is going, but I swear I've got a good reason! Or a reason. Maybe marginally good? From 1987, Justice #10, "Hour of Corruption" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Vince Colletta.

At this point, the book seemed to be building up for a final battle in the other-dimensional Winterland, like King's the Dark Tower by way of Kirby's New Gods. Am I overselling it? Definitely, the book would absolutely whiff any potential it had. The bad guys, including corporate evil Damon Conquest, were preparing for their massive assault on "the justice-warriors of Spring," who were disorganized and demoralized, possibly because of their name. Damon reports to a bigger bad here, his dad; and had abducted and corrupted the hero's love interest, FBI agent Rebecca Chambers. Damon also makes a phone call to one of his agents on earth, casually talking through his hand, his cold breath seeming to come out the other end...a much stronger visual than this book deserved! Back on earth, Tensen, a.k.a. Justice, was still murdering drug-dealers here and there, but was largely depressed; since Rebecca was believed dead and he was being blamed for it.

Damon transports Justice to the desert, to face Klane, Black Justice; who has a real Fist of the North Star vibe to him, as does their fight. (Fist wasn't released stateside yet, although it had been running in Japan since 1983. Could Giffen have seen it and be riffing on that...?) It's a trap, though, intended for Justice to strike him down in anger, a violation of his code. Beaten in the desert, Justice is unable to do anything when Rebecca appears, at first intending to kill him, but deciding he wasn't worth it. Harvesting dark power from Justice's corruption, Damon lists off his evil plans to his dad, as the invasion draws nearer...

Yes, yes, yes, that's all well and good; but I was actually looking for Giffen's issues of Justice, because of a joke in a better book! From 1990, Secret Origins #48, featuring "The Secret Origin of Ambush Bug: We Thought Him Up!" Plot and pencils by "Keith Van Giffen," script by "Robert Louis Loren Stevenson Fleming," inks by "Bob the Louvre Lewis." Cover by Kevin Maguire and Al Gordon! This is a banger of an issue from late in that series, featuring a bit we saw in Blue Devil Annual #1: here's a whole bunch of 'secret' origins, not a one of them even remotely close to right. "This calls for a Giffen 'big-eye' panel!" is still a fun bit of him poking fun at himself; but Giffen had done layouts for Wally Wood: if we consider Wood's 22 Panels That Always Work!! is the big-eye panel a variation on 'extreme closeup,' or its own thing?  

For good measure, this issue also includes Phil Foglio on Stanley & His Monster, a few years before that mini-series, an extended Captain America riff for the origin of Rex the Wonder Dog, and the largely-forgotten western heroes the Trigger Twins. I had to double-check, since I was thinking it would be just like me to say something like 'largely-forgotten' and then find out the Trigger Twins had a book for like 14 years and a massive following in Paraguay or something: I mean, Rex the Wonder Dog used to be huge. The Trigger Twins, not so much. They were in a bunch of All-Star Western, and the name's been repurposed since.

Anyway, all of this, and there's only one proper "big-eye panel" in Justice #10. Feel like there were more in the previous issue...or maybe the next one? Giffen only did three total here, but I still feel like there is a Fist of the North Star influence.

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For no reason I can think of, I thought this was the last issue of this series...wait, I remember what I was thinking of! And we blogged that one already, and this one's right here, so...from 1978, DC Special Series #10, Secret Origins of Super-Heroes; featuring "This Immortal Destiny!" Written by Paul Levitz, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Michael Netzer; "This Light A-Borning" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Don Newton, inks by Frank Chiaramonte; and "The Canary Is a Bird of Prey" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Mike Vosburg, inks by Terry Austin.

I feel like this framing device has been used before, or again, possibly even in another retelling of Doctor Fate's origin: a diary entry from Kent Nelson's long-suffering wife, Inza. Who loved her husband, no problems there; she just wearied of sharing him with Nabu: whenever he put on the helmet, Kent would be gone, leaving Dr. Fate in his place. In Kent's defense, it seems like he was only becoming Fate when needed to defend reality or whatnot; not just to get away or anything. I'm hard-pressed to think of a less rewarding alter-ego; I can't recall if Kent even remembers much of his time as Fate. And his origin includes the death of his father, getting aged up after his training, and Inza is basically a prisoner, since she can't magic her way through the walls of the tower they live in?

I don't know if readers were clamoring for the secret origin of Lightray, he was pretty far down the depth chart. But, after he saves some kids, a child asks what most probably thought, weren't you born with powers? Nope, as a child on New Genesis, while exploring with Metron and Orion, he came across a secret Apokolips base, and got zapped with a ton of radiation. Metron had kind of got them into that one, and wracked with guilt that young "Sollis" might die, he struggled for weeks to save him. He succeeded, with Sollis awakening with new powers, and Highfather suggests he select a new name for himself, to reflect his new status. I could see Lightray and Orion being childhood friends, after the latter first came to New Genesis, but Metron as a kid is just weird. Like he sprung from the Source as an older guy with weird eyebrows.

Lastly, the not-super-secret, but pre-Crisis origin of Black Canary, after Ollie asks her if she "ever regretted not living what most people consider a 'normal woman's' life?" While an agressively stupid and sexist question, Dinah does have to wonder, is she her own woman, or her daddy's. He trained her to be a supercop, while also being somewhat conflicted at the thought of risking her. As a young woman, she was basically on the job already, doing ridealongs with her dad and his new partner, Larry Lance; but dad would have a heart attack, possibly caused by Dinah not getting accepted to the police academy. (There only being so many spots open for dames back then; this was described as "the days before women's liberation.") She tells Larry she'll take the insurance money and open a flower shop, but was already planning a new career, in the growing field of "costumed mystery men!" First as a Robin Hood-type robbing from criminals, then joining the Justice Society; Dinah would eventually marry Larry (who also quit the force, fed up with cops) but he would later get killed trying to save her from the age of Aquarius or something. (I wonder if she goes into a crying rage every time she hears that song. I certainly do.) Grief-ridden, she would emigrate from Earth-2 to Earth-1 and join the Justice League; and while she missed those she had lost, she loved her new life. Crap, I think I've read her pre-Crisis origin stuff--and there's more, and it gets nuts--too much, since I've lost track how much, if any of this, carries into post-Crisis or modern continuity. Read more!

Two Eclipso figures, but no Metal Men? That seems unfair.

I mentioned before not buying the DC Universe Classics Metal Men, because I honestly didn't think Mattel would get anywhere near finishing the team. They did, long after it was too late to go back and pick them up! I probably had more Eclipso comics than Metal Men too, but here's one for the latter...guest starring Eclipso! From 1976, Metal Men #49, "The Dark God Cometh!" Plot and script by Martin Pasko, plot and art by Walt Simonson.

The splash page recaps it pretty succinctly: Eclipso has "summoned a mysterious giant whatsis from the waters surrounding Diablo Island!" It's up to the Metal Men to stop it, even if their creator Dr. Magnus seems a bit befuzzled today, or maybe concussed. Eclipso gets turned back into Bruce Gordon twice this ish, once to deliver some exposition about the whatsis, Umbra: this is a bit of Eclipso's origin that would be retconned later, or at least over-shadowed (as it were) with his fallen angel of vengeance bit.

This was reprinted in the 1989 trade The Art of Walt Simonson, so I knew I had read this before; but I don't mind having a copy to shove into the scanner. This was his last issue on the book, although he would do the covers for #50-52.
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We'll close out the week with one more book with a shiny foil cover: from 1993, Darkhawk #25, "Return to Forever Part Five: Death and Life" Written by Danny Fingeroth, pencils by Mike Manley, inks by Mike Manley and Aaron McClellan.

The cover proclaims "The Mind-Blowing Origin Finale!" Maybe a bit over-hyped, and I think it's been retconned or revamped a bit to boot. Teenager Chris Powell had discovered a mysterious amulet, which allowed him to become the mysterious Darkhawk. Sort of: if you're old enough, perhaps you recall this 1993 trading card:

Over the course of his book's first two years, Chris came to realize he was trading places with Darkhawk, which was actually some kind of android he controlled with his mind somehow. But he had no idea where the amulet or Darkhawk come from, or where he went when they switched, until now. And it's not the simplest possible explanation--well, maybe not anyway. It involves an alien criminal's conspiracy to collect a bunch of scientists to extort or bribe them into building him "expendable--yet repairable--agents." The scientists put together teleportation, weaponized androids, extra-dimensional storage, telepathic control and more into the Darkhawks, then realize they can't let the crime boss get them. The ensuing rebellion ends up with the crime boss trapped in an android that would later take the name Evilhawk, and one of the scientists mind-transferred to the extra-dimensional ship. (The latter, all the better to deliver exposition to Chris!)

To explain how a Darkhawk amulet got to earth in the first place, there's also a telepathy-broadcast subplot, involving two homeless guys that had been following Chris's progress: they had been scientists before that. It's pretty convoluted! And it's mostly wrapped up pretty quickly in a fight on the extra-dimensional ship, as Evilhawk tries to take Chris's human body, but he manages to resist enough to grab his amulet, change places back into Darkhawk, then reflect Evilhawk's disintegration ray back, seemingly killing him. Again, pretty quick after all that backstory, but this had been building up for two years! Still, I know there's a "Brotherhood of Raptors" now, so at least some of this may have been altered since. There's also multiple subplots still running as well: I think Chris is expelled from school and his house burns down. Can't have a clean win, huh?

I almost put this away and missed the Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation here: Paid circulation, actual number of copies of single issue published nearest to filing date, 181,750. Not too shabby, for what I would've considered a mid-tier book!

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This is like the sixth time, I really should know whodunit by now.

We blogged Detective Comics #627 a couple years back: that issue featured four different versions of Batman's first appearance in "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate." Since then, I knew it had been retold again, in Detective Comics #27, but I had forgotten it was retold in part in today's book! From 1986, Secret Origins #6, written by Roy Thomas, pencils and colors by Marshall Rogers, inks by Terry Austin.

In chronological order, this would've probably been the third retelling of "Chemical Syndicate," taking nine pages of the twenty-three here for the Golden Age Batman's origin. (At least that I know of; although I'd guess there would be at least a few panels devoted to it in Untold Legend of the Batman.) I think Thomas keeps a lot of later influences out: Bruce Wayne's training appears to be completely domestic, without the foreign combat training that was usually prevalent, and a somewhat surprising focus on acting. Also, no Alfred! Bruce uses a disguise to order a costume made, which I think was pretty traditional for classic DC heroes: the hero would get one at the costume shop or their mom would make it or something. Sewing was for girls, at least until some kid made his own.

At some point we'll probably get around to Detective Comics #27, although offhand I don't recall it being great. That one's 15 pages with Bryan Hitch art, which would usually be something, but still...well, it's around somewhere.
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I really thought this "Zero Hour" tie-in might tie in at some point...

When we looked at the Demon's Zero Hour crossover issue a couple weeks back, I was going to take a gander at another one from that crossover. Not this one, actually, but it still works: from 1994, Wonder Woman #0, "The Contest, part 2: The Blind Eyes of Time" Written by William Messner-Loebs, art by Mike Deodato Jr. With a Brian Bolland cover!

If I ever read this issue, it's probably been about twenty years; but the first page confirms my guess that this was building up to Artemis replacing Diana as Wonder Woman. Replacing heroes, either long-term or temporarily, had paid off big for DC so far with Superman, Batman, Green Lantern (I was going to count Flash, but Wally was well-established by this point) so why not Wonder Woman? Diana is not thrilled when her mom Hippolyta tells her there will be a new contest for the title of WW, in part because they felt Diana was getting too manlike, as in violent. Hippolyta acts as if Diana had been getting too big for her britches, and tells her she's not irreplaceable in the role. Later, Diana's friend Mala softens that blow a bit: this contest really isn't any different than an election, re-confirming her status; and maybe Diana might not want to be Wonder Woman forever? Diana has to at least admit that's a possibility.

There's a brief flashback to the first contest, in which Diana had been forbidden to compete, but had done so while masked and won. Here the mask is the fancier Mask of Proteus, with which she looks like a completely different Amazon; it may have been felt an ordinary mask wouldn't have fooled Hippolyta long enough for Diana to compete. While Diana is helping set up for the contest, and noting she currently only has her normal strength; Artemis shows up to tell her that won't be a problem, since Hippolyta has announced that any that have warred against her and not shown the proper "loving submission" couldn't compete, namely her. That's at least the second time "loving submission" has come up this issue (and it would again before the end) and it's a bit of a throwback to WW's oldest stories, I don't think it's seen much anymore.

To find out what's what, Diana accompanies Artemis to her village: I'm not sure about the politics at this point, but they were a splinter faction, "cast out" at some point in the past and living a rougher, more violent life than Hippolyta's Amazons. Still, the aged wise woman Mala (Diana notes she has a friend with that same name...) tells Diana of their "first mother," Hippolyta's sister Antiope: they still had a sculpture of her from three thousand years ago...and it looks exactly like Diana! She barely has time to ask what that was about before she disappears...

Diana seems to wake up moments later, about three thousand years ago, as Antiope. We see her sister, a much younger and flightier Hippolyta, giddy with joy, since Herakles had proposed to her. In Wonder Woman continuity, Herakles enslaved the Amazons for some time; and while Antiope doesn't trust "ol' cudgel-brains" Hippolyta has spilled all kinds of beans about the Amazons' immortality. Antiope has to marry Herakles' friend Hylas, who turns on her on their wedding night: she fights free to warn her sister, but is tricked by Herakles wearing the Mask of Proteus, and clubbed on the head--as is Diana in the present!

Best guess; I think this plotline was laying down that maybe Hippolyta wasn't always right in her decisions, which was going to make Diana consider if it was right for her to be Wonder Woman. Artemis would have the costume for a bit, but it may have been a briefer stretch than I had thought. Well, at least Artemis would get an action figure out of it years later! And Deodato's art is nice--probably the best art the book had since George Perez--it's very, um, male gaze-y, let's say. I don't know how that would be received today...
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Busy and somewhat depressed, so please enjoy Ty Templeton's Bouncing Boy origin:

Actually, that last panel may be the coolest Cosmic Boy has ever been; like it was his last week as Legion leader and he had straight-up checked out...from 1990, Secret Origins #49, "The Not-So-Secret Origin of Bouncing Boy" Story and art by Ty Templeton, and it's pretty great.

This was the second-to-last of this run of Secret Origins: they had already done the all-gorilla issue, the headquarters issue, and Ambush Bug, so what was left? DC had the class to wrap it up before going back to Batman again...well, there would be a short Batman and Robin George Perez story in the last issue. #49 also features the Silent Knight, and Karl Kesel going to town on the secret origins of the Newsboy Legion, a concept I could see getting new life on the CW or something; except that kids having adventures in the forties would now be a bit old to run around with their clones...

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I don't read a ton of DC lately--their last title I bought regularly was the charming Bizarro limited. But I'm usually up for a cheap book, and picked up Secret Origins #7 for fifty cents, with the current origin for the Flash. (And likewise for the Huntress and Superboy, although they aren't mentioned on the cover.) I was curious as to the over/under of this issue being a joyless slog, and am currently betting if we see Barry remotely happy at all, it's only in flashbacks (as it were) or before he becomes the Flash...let's see!

From "The Chase," written by Robert Venditti and Van Jensen, pencils by Miguel Sepulveda, inks by Scott Hanna.

I believe the first three pages are a relatively recent addition to the origin story, and probably from Geoff Johns: the death of Barry's mom, supposedly at the hands of his dad. The only reason this seemed familiar to me was because it used in the Flash TV show. Barry thinks he sees a clue at the crime scene, which drives him to be a forensic scientist, and we get back to the lightning bolt in the lab. Driven by a sense of duty, Barry becomes the Flash, and almost has the hint of a smirk on page 8. Barry's narrating the story to his dad, the "one inmate who'll have permission to leave (Iron Heights Prison) before his sentence is up." His dad would also be the one guy in the prison that didn't need to hear that story again, but he'd been in for what, over fifteen years? Your lawyer sucks! Barry's dad doesn't want his son to waste his life trying to help him, but Barry still thinks he remembers something...namely, a shadowy figure in the room where his mom died. (Someone else in the room seems like the sort of thing you should remember, Barry.)

Wow, they used a lot of this for the show; but Barry's life seems bleak and thankless without his friends, and we don't see any here. Speaking of thankless, the rest of this issue features the updated, Earth-2 Huntress origin, which didn't feel right either: there's no way any Batman or Catwoman would raise their daughter to think she was "cannon fodder," or second-best even to Supergirl/Power Girl. Then we have the most recent Superboy origin, which has the unenviable task of recapping events from his most recent series and Teen Titans. It's so weird that the Young Justice cartoon was able to do such a good job with the character, something the comics have seemed to stuggle with for years now. Read more!

It's a modernized update of a classic character, of course all the fun's sucked out of it...

Well, that's not entirely true. Partially because Metamorpho was so much fun to begin with. You could suck fun out of him all day and still have some leftover...wow, that went weird, there. From 2007-2008, Metamorpho: Year One, story by Dan Jurgens, art by Jurgens, Mike Norton Jesse Delperdang, and Jose Marzan, Jr.

This version of Rex Mason starts as an adventure-TV star, risking his life for the cameras on a TV show produced by billionaire Simon Stagg. Consistent with his usual portrayals, Stagg is an utter bastard; from nickel-and-diming Mason on his contract, to plotting to have him killed for a DVD special. Of course, Stagg may also hate Mason for dating his daughter Sapphire, as does unfrozen caveman Java. (A bit of lampshade hanging refers to Java being brought back to life by Stagg's genetic engineers, and Stagg's legal department probably insured the big moron's legal status would be indentured servant or pet or something.)

Exploring a pyramid for the Orb of Ra, Mason is knocked out by Java (on Stagg's order) and left to die. Instead, Mason is exposed to the meteorite the Orb was made from, and transformed into Metamorpho, that fabulous freak. (There's a whole backstory about the sun god Ra and how the meteorite is supposed to create soldiers to fight Set Apep, but I don't think we get into that here.) He doesn't feel that fabulous though, even though he's able to use enough of his powers instinctively to get out of the collapsed pyramid, repair a jet, and get back to the states; where Stagg wangs him with the Orb, Metamorpho's Kryptonite.

I'm missing issue #3 right now--another limited series short an issue! But I doubt it really explains why Mason doesn't seem to realize Stagg straight-up tried to murder him. He is somewhat blinded by the chance of a cure: Stagg downplays the possiblity of some hack like Lex Luthor or STAR Labs returning Mason to normal. In issue #4, Stagg fixes Mason up with a realistic rubber mask--just not realistic enough to get through airport security, especially when Stagg tips them off. He doesn't want Sapphire with him (or Java, for that matter) and maneuvers her towards a more suitable guy, industrialist Wally Bannister. I was disappointed that Sapphire seems to fall for it, and Wally is still around by the end of the series: per Wikipedia, the Bannister character was killed off towards the end of the original 60's Metamorpho series, but the plotline was never resolved.

I actually have Justice League of America #42, "Metamorpho Says No!" where the JLA offers Metamorpho a spot on the team and he declines, only wanting to return to normal. The rest of that issue has a silly alien menace, the Unimaginable; but makes more sense than issue #6's updated version, which features most of the League pretending to be Goldface to put him to the test. (They had complete faith in Mason, but none in Stagg.) Metamorpho again refuses JLA membership, but decides to use his powers to help when he can. So, not an awful update, but so not as fun as the original.
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We mentioned this one a while back, and I was lucky enough to have a spare copy! From 1988, Secret Origins #24, "The All-True, Previously Recorded, Publicly Known, Heretofore Fully Revealed Secret Origin of the Blue Devil" Story by Gary Cohn and Dan Mishkin, art by Ty Templeton. Cain from the House of Mystery Weirdness? Really? OK...anyway, Cain tells a group of kids watching Blue Devil on VHS the true story of Dan Cassidy, and how he became trapped in the suit he created for the movie.

Cain's pulling the story out of Cassidy's sleeping mind, with a couple little dream gremlins, but it's all pretty close to the first issue.

Cassidy wakes up later, to give Cain a bit of what-for; and disarmingly describes himself as "a stuntman stuck in a silly suit who gets to play super-hero sometimes!" Which is probably the hook I'd keep for an ongoing...I didn't read the recent New 52 version yet, though.
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That is the weirdest prisoner transport I've ever seen.

...and I don't know about those waist-mounted rockets, either. From 1996, Uncanny Origins #4, "Forged in Fire!" Written by James Felder, pencils by Dave Hoover, inks by Bill Anderson. This was a ninety-nine cent series, and this issue retells the origin of Firelord. Actually, I'm not sure a lot of his story was ever told in one place, before or since.

The world Xandar, home of the Nova Corps, seat of the mighty Xandarian Empire, and blown up like four times since it was introduced. It's also home of the Xandarian Space Academy, where young cadet Pyreus Kril is one of their finest students. An orphan, Pyreus worked his way up from the gutter, because he believed in the Empire's ideals of "loyalty, friendship, and courage," and he idolized the aging hero, Commander Gabriel Lan. Lan, disillusioned and tired, meets Pyreus to see the enthusiasum and idealism he's long since lost; but the two become friends. (Imagine if you could meet Captain Kirk, and become his best pal, and join his crew: Pyreus is living the dream.)

Having his fill of war, Gabriel takes the commission of the Way-Opener; the oldest, smallest ship in the fleet. But, it's an exploratory mission, and he wants the chance to see something new. His four-man crew are burnouts, injured, a cadet that decked the Admiral, and Pyreus, who insists on joining his commander.



In the waning days of the Xandarian Empire, the crew of the Way-Opener explore new worlds and fight Kree, Skrulls, and Tharks; becoming a beacon of inspiration. (Pyreus also hooks up with the cute navigator, which almost seems like an editorial addition: he always seemed really devoted to his commander. Not that there's anything wrong with that...) Still, after three years, Gabriel is still tired of serving the empire, and feels like there must be something more for him.

Then, the Way-Opener encounters a colossal starship, which teleports Gabriel away. Taking command, Pyreus gives chase, realizing his commander's abductor was Galactus; a fact not lost on the Xandarian High Council, who order Pyreus to stand down and not antagonize him. Refusing to abandon Gabriel, Pyreus and the crew give chase, following Galactus by the trail of drained and lifeless planets left in his wake. A burned survivor tells of "an angel of death...the Air-Walker."

Finally reaching their quarry, the Way-Opener is outclassed, and almost immediately destroyed. The crew escapes in a rescue skiff, but Pyreus is teleported to Galactus himself; who offers him a deal: become his new herald, and he will tell him what happened to Gabriel. Pyreus agrees, and is transformed into Firelord; just as Gabriel had become the Air-Walker. Gabriel had served Galactus, until his death; then his soul was put in a robot, which also died. Galactus points out Gabriel killed billions leading him to new planets to consume, and wonders what Firelord now thinks of his friend.



Pyreus refuses to think any less of his friend, calling Galactus a monster that could never understand friendship or loyalty. He may have a point, since Galactus then mind-wipes him a bit (something he did to the Silver Surfer as well, and may or may not have done to Gabriel) to make him a more tractable herald. Firelord would serve as herald for many years--maybe, that doesn't really track since it wasn't that long from when the Surfer broke free. Still, eventually Firelord wanted to be free himself, and after meeting Thor, Galactus agreed to take the Destroyer as herald instead.

Some time later, on a Christmas morning, Thor fought and destroyed a rebuilt Air-Walker robot, just in time for Firelord to miss reuniting with his lost friend. Enraged, he fought Thor, until Thor explained he felled the robot unknowingly. Forgiving Thor, Firelord buries his friend, and takes again to space, the last legacy of the Xandarian Empire. (At the time, anyway.)

Although he had never been a character I really liked, there is nothing about this issue I don't love. Ninety-nine cents, an origin rarely seen, a great animated-style that I wish Marvel would've dabbled in a bit more. Of course, this wasn't even my favorite issue of Uncanny Origins...no, not the Cyclops one. For good measure, you could also find a lot of this series for $1.99 an issue, but with Kurt Busiek's great Untold Tales of Spider-Man!

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As usual, this is the week before I go on vacation: there are posts scheduled, although I couldn't tell you what off the top of my head. To get ready to go, we're having another Nightcrawler week. This year, we're checking out retellings of Nightcrawler's origin: it hasn't been retold as many times as Wolverine or most of the other X-Men, even, but in the years since 1975's Giant-Size X-Men #1 it's been touched upon a time or two. In fact, we saw a page from the Len Wein/Dave Cockrum original along with the modernized retelling in X-Men Origins: Nightcrawler.

Today's version is from Uncanny Origins #8, "From Circus Freak to X-Man" Written by Bill Rosemann, art by Mark Campos. While it sticks to the "villagers chasing Kurt" and most of the same dialogue as the original, it also ties into the retcon from Uncanny X-Men Annual #4: the villagers are chasing Kurt, because they found him over the body of his stepbrother. Which gives the villagers slightly more motivation than simply "kill the monster," but also makes it odd that Professor X recruits Kurt without any investigation at all. (Admittedly, there wasn't time, since the Professor had to rescue the team trapped on Krakoa; and reading Kurt's mind he would know Kurt was innocent.)

This is probably my favorite retelling of Nightcrawler's origin, mainly because of Campos's art, but it's also the only place I can think of that most, if not all his continuity is in one place.





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How big is that clubhouse, anyway?

For some time now, I've wanted to do a Legion of Super Heroes post, but have never had enough Legionnaires to pull it off. (The ones I have make appearances here and there, like giving Booster Gold the hassle or bravely facing Validus parts.


Still, even with a handful of Legionnaires, I still think it would be fun. I do wish I had a few more, like Mon-El. All the powers of Superboy, which meant the writers usually just sent him to the ass end of the galaxy to keep him busy. I know there's a new Mon-El coming from a recent, and terrible, and already finished and swept under the rug, Superman storyline; but...blah.

(I was trying to do a post on the end of War of the Supermen, but couldn't do it without it just being a full page of swearing. I paid a dollar for that book, and still feel cheated. Seriously, hated it, and not in the sense of 'this wasn't a comic for my tastes,' or, 'this comic was not executed well,' but in that I want everyone involved with it, from publishing down to printing, fired and blacklisted. You can't believe it's from the same company that brought you Grant Morrison's All-Star Superman: Morrison gives a bloody master class on how to write Superman, and no one at DC was paying attention. And WotS segues ever so well into future storylines: "100,000 Kryptonians and however many humans are dead!...guess I'll go for a walk.")


Anyway, where was I? Ah, this is reference, since I might try to build--build should be in quotes there, since I'd be using construction paper--a Legion Clubhouse backdrop. I'd also like to make a little voting desk for them, too. With light-up yes and no...OK, I don't know if I see that happening, but it's an idea.

Scans from Secret Origins #46, "The Little Clubhouse that Could," 'Word Kid' Gerald Jones, 'Pencil Lad' Curt Swan, 'Ink Boy' Ty Templeton. Thrill to the secret origin of Fortress Lad! Or not. Hey, this is the one with Arm-Fall-Off-Boy, though.

From Secret Origins #37, "The Secret Origin of the Legion of Super Substitute Heroes" Written and drawn by Ty Templeton, inked by Anthony Van Bruggen. A classic, and this issue also has the non-rapey origin of Dr. Light!

And lastly, a brief panel from DC Comics Presents #59, "Ambush Bug II" Story and breakdown by Keith Giffen, additional dialogue by Paul Levitz, finishes by Kurt Schaffenberger. Superman and the Legion of Substitute Heroes vs. Ambush Bug, and it's hilarious.

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Admittedly, it's harder than it looks.

Since I can't remember that many stories with Guardian, I can't recall if I've ever actually seen him throw that shield. While it would doubtless be plenty painful to be hit with, it couldn't possibly fly that well...

Although, that wasn't what Jim Harper had in mind when he picked it: after getting a stout beating from some of Suicide Slum's finest thuggery, Jim decides to get some off-the-books payback. Breaking into a costume shop, he puts together the iconic costume of the Guardian, or rather finds some tights, puts shorts on over them, and adds a hardhat. Still, since the thugs had guns, he decides he needs a little equalizer: a shield. It was 1942, but even so, great plan, Jim.


The shield is described as an antique, to lampshade it being bulletproof, but later Guardian would get an indestructible shield, but I'm not sure how or why it is. I don't know if there is in an in-story reason for it, other than Captain America's shield is, so...

Scan from Secret Origins #19, "The Secret Origin of Guardian and the Newsboy Legion" Written and adapted by Roy Thomas, pencils by Arvell Jones, inks by Greg Theakston. This one doesn't get into any of his later Project: Cadmus clone business, which may or may not be more interesting for you. And this issue also has the secret origin of Uncle Sam...who also doesn't do anything for me.
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Just like DC's One Year Later, except confusing and pointless...no, exactly like DC's One Year Later, yeah.

God, I'm unmotivated. A whole year later, and I still have the same wife, same kids, same job, same blog...and that's good. Um, but here's the bad part...hey, it's worked out better than DC's whole One Year Later thing. I mean, I didn't let like 50 weeks go by, then change a whole bunch of stuff or recruit and dismiss a page full of members in the last week. And, I'm not getting cancelled! (Hawkgirl was the only One Year Later I actually read, on the strength of creators Walt Simonson and Howard Chaykin, but it just never seemed to come together. That said,giant robot Hawkgirl seems like something I should look into.)

So, Random Happenstance has been here for a whole year, although I heartily encourage you to not check the May 2006 archives, they're crap. Really, I was still getting the ship together, and hadn't got the hang of formatting or scans yet. Unlike the masterpiece it is now...oh, you can't hear me rolling my eyes.

Still, I've had a lot of fun here, and haven't run out of comics yet. Who am I kidding, there's comics down there I'm dying to use but can't clear a path to; and I enjoy the occasional toy pictures as well. But since it's my...ugh...blogoversary...I figure the traditional thing to do is reveal a Secret Origin!!


As some of you may have guessed, 'Googum' is not my real name. Yes, in the best comics' tradition, it's a clever alias designed to strike fear in the hearts of...somebody. Oh, and to protect my loved ones! And unlike You-Know-Who, I'd never do anything stupid like reveal my identity because an authority figure made me an ugly-ass costume with spindley legs sticking out of it. (A giant robot, maybe, though...)


But why 'Googum'? The simple answer starts several years back when I was setting up a free email account at stupid.com. They were a little trinket-gift website that sold a lot of the things that used to be advertised in the backs of comics, really. I wanted a simple, easy to remember address without a bunch of numbers or underscores or any of that crap. Or my name, since most of the nonsense I do online doesn't need my real name dragged into it. Plus, I was living in a basement at the time, and was generally as antisocial as a troll. Yeah, that's changed...anyway, I took the Googum name from a source I didn't think anyone else would look to. (Although, I wasn't able to get the name on flickr.com a while back.)

Some long term comics readers may have thought Googum was a misspelling of 'Googam,' the son of Goom; a classic Marvel Monster last seen in Fin Fang Four. Well, no, but that may well have been an influence. It's from The Ren & Stimpy Show #13, "Ren & Stimpy's Eencredeebly Patheteec Excuse for a Halloween Issue!!" Written by Dan Slott, art by Mike Kazaleh.


Huh, Goo-gum's trademarked. Uh-oh. Anyway, now you know, and knowing is more deadly than ignorance, or something. Thanks to everyone who's stopped by, left a comment, or looked in and then run off screaming. Now to see how much longer I can drag this blog out...

Batman page from Batman Annual #15, "The Last Batman Story" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Jim Fern, inks by Steve Leialoha. An Armageddon 2001 issue, and 2001 feels like decades ago, so you can imagine how 1991 feels. I liked a lot of the individual annuals, possible (if license-wise improbable) looks at the future. Basically DC scratching a What If? itch, but enjoyable. Still, 2007 and Harold never got to build Batman rocket boots. Thanks again, Hush. Jerk. Read more!

House rule: If Mike Parobeck drew it, it's canon.
Originally uploaded by googum.

From Secret Origins #37, "All Those Light Years Ago!" Written by Craig Boldman, pencils by the great Mike Parobeck, inks by Ken Branch.

I scanned this in quite some time ago, then set the issue aside and lost it. Found it again, read my son the Legion of Substitute Heroes story, set it aside again. Much later, I found another Secret Origin of Dr. Light (which we may come back to...although it's not very good.) and thought about this one again.

The story begins with perennial punching-bag Dr. (Arthur) Light hobbling in the rain, back to his shabby apartment after yet another beating. The storm knocks out the lights, and a panicked Light scrambles to find matches, birthday candles, anything, but too late. He is visited by the ghost of Dr. Light's past, from the looks of it.

Arthur calls the ghost in his costume Jacob, and the ghost tells the story of themselves, as two young scientists. Together, they have discovered solid light, and have been able to use it for force fields and teleportation...which makes total sense, somehow...Arthur Light wants to give a report to the board, but Jacob Finlay says no, citing rumors of theft and leaks.

While Jacob is admiring the JLA, or at least Black Canary; Arthur is having financial trouble. Of course, he's responsible for the thefts in their lab, and is being blackmailed/lowballed into continuing the thefts. While he won't turn over his and Jacob's research, Arthur has no problem stealing his associates' work, which he does that night.


This time, Arthur is caught red-handed, by a new hero, Doctor Light. Frantically, Arthur tries to get away, but is caught; and just as suddenly released by the Doctor. Back at home, as Arthur ponders why he was let go, Jacob overplays his hand by calling and hinting that the thief was lucky to get away.

Now paranoid that Jacob will blackmail him, Arthur is then further shaken down by his first blackmailer, who wants Dr. Light's secrets. Later at work, Jacob is cleaning up the damage to the lab (mostly caused by himself) from the night before, when a console misfires and disentegrates him. Arthur is shaken, since he had been wishing he was strong enough to strike at Jacob only moments before; but the incident is declared an accident.

That night, Arthur is confronted by Jacob's ghost, but refuses to accept any guilt in Jacob's death. He accuses the ghost of toying with him. Fleeing, in what would be a recurring theme for the rest of his life, Arthur discovers light keeps the ghost away. He manages to get home, only to be confronted by his blackmailer's chauffeur. Desparate, Arthur goes back to the lab, sets up a forcefield to keep out security, and starts tearing it up, searching for Finlay's Dr. Light costume and gear.

As security tries to get through the force field, they cut the power, which kills the lights, which lets Finlay back at Arthur. Arthur protests that Finlay's not real, and as if to prove it, Finlay casually incinerates Arthur's blackmailer and chauffeur, via TV. OK, that's sorta impressive.

Arthur tries to explain the faulty console killed Finlay, and when he moves it, he discovers the hidden costume. Furious, he points out that the weapons in the suit could have interfered with the console, and Finlay probably caused his own death. Arthur uses the light weapons on the ghost, and declares himself Doctor Light.

Beaten, Finlay's ghost warns Light that if he doesn't get him, one of his "super-hero allies" will avenge him. Pretty chummy with a Justice League he never met, wasn't he? Arthur snaps back that he no longer has to fear ghosts, super-heroes, or "justice itself." Which is a pretty bold statement, as Light would then begin his career as whipping boy, easier to beat than a perp in shackles, as Chief Wiggum would say. There would have to be colossal satisfaction for Jacob Finlay in haunting someone so bumbling, ineffectual, and sad that they did all the work for you. Dr. Light's already living in hell, and while Jacob could make it worse, it's better to let Arthur know that he very well could, if he didn't think it was already bad enough.

Somewhere else in DCU canon, I had thought someone had previously established light kills ghosts, but I'm not sure where. Perhaps from Dr. Thirteen or one of the DC mystery/horror books.


I figured with Identity Crisis and Dr. Light's new persona of 'serial rapist,' this origin would be swept under the rug. But, a little research revealed that both of the above Doctors made appearances in Ostranders' Suicide Squad, with Arthur somehow managing to escape from hell...then sell his soul to Neron, around his appearance in JLA's "Rock of Ages" storyline. Not a man to learn from his mistakes, is the key takeaway here regarding Dr. Light.

What about the ghost Doctor, Jacob Finlay? The horror aspect of his fate seems even more grotesque all these years (and retcons) later: you invent a superhero suit, with the ultimate goal of dating Black Canary, then are killed by your best friend, who goes on to become a supervillain, who you haunt. With me so far? So Finlay haunts Dr. Light and has himself a good undead laugh over Light's jackassery as the Justice League, Teen Titans, and Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys kick six shades of snot out of him. Finlay's ghost could probably drag Light into hell at any time, or at the very least kill him; but is too busy enjoying watching him suffer here on earth.

Then the rapes start. And all of a sudden, haunting Light wouldn't be funny anymore, would it? And Finlay would be stuck, a mere ghost now, powerless to stop Light; and all of Light's crimes on Finlay's head because he toyed with him for years instead of finishing him.

But, Finlay's ghost has even less power than that, since I sincerely doubt we'll see him, or this origin, ever mentioned or referred to again. The continuity just doesn't fit, and I think Dr. Light's Underworld Unleashed look has also been quietly discarded. Maybe some things are bad enough alone. Maybe jamming this origin into the Identity Crisis version would be like cramming together jigsaw pieces that don't fit, like alien superheroes and USAF pilots with magic rings and Amazon princesses and serial rapists.

Back to the issue at hand, Arthur is called 'Arthur Smith' several times in the story, but on the door to their lab, he's listed as 'Arthur Light,' which I had thought was his real name. Also, on the letters page, there's a great writeup on the Doctor: "Well, if I had been unable to beat the Atom, I probably would have thought long and hard before going after Green Lantern, but I don't have a fin on my head either." That explains why he's been in Green Arrow, eh? (Yeah, I went there.) There's also an ad for Suicide Squad as well, featuring Dr. Light in the back row.

Hopefully, I'll be able to add more pictures for this one later tonight.

A quick question: can anyone name an Underworld Unleashed makeover that stuck?


Edit: And, they're not loading. Calling for high-speed tomorrow, I swear... Read more!