So I mentioned this one on BlueSky the other day, and knew I had bought it recently but didn't have it handy. And, um, it was directly behind me. (Another fun bit of nonsense: I recently got rid of my old bed, which had a massive headboard. I miss having it to hang stuff on, but it was in my way for years otherwise; and it being gone has just destroyed my sense of object permanence. I keep expecting to bump into it...) From 1989, Secret Origins #40, featuring "Gorillas in Our Midst" Written by Cary Bates and Greg Weisman, pencils by Carmine Infantino, inks by Mike DeCarlo; "The Legend of Congorilla" Written by Tom Joyner, pencils by Fred Butler, inks by Kez Wilson; and "If U Cn Rd Ths" Written by Rusty Wells, "plot and tardiness" by Andy Helfer, art by Mark Badger. Cover by Bill Wray.

This series ran to issue #50: I always think this was closer to the end, but that was probably the Ambush Bug issue. On the letters page, editor Mark Waid explains the rationale for this all-ape issue: back in the 50's and 60's, the prevailing wisdom was that gorillas sold comics, and he estimates DC had about 200 gorilla/monkey/ape covers. Even though that was some time ago, it's still a beloved bit of DC lore and still returns here and there for stuff like JLApe. Carmine Infantino did a bunch of those gorilla covers himself, and returns here for the secret origin of Gorilla City, and its two most famous inhabitants, Solovar and Grodd. Then, it's Congo Bill and Congorilla, told completely straight, like a "jungle noir."

"If U Cn Rd Ths" is doubtless the high point, though: the secret origin of Detective Chimp. This one's a departure from his 50's origin, as tiny alien scientists increase Bobo's intelligence; but Waid suggests if you use your imagination it still fits. (Detective Chimp can talk now, can't he? He couldn't for a long time.) Waid also laments he would never get to do another issue like this again...unless he "can dredge up three more gorillas to put in this book next year." Titano, Angel and the Ape, and the Gorilla Crime Boss of Gotham! Boom, done, get on it. Read more!

They didn't use "One Nation Under Grodd" in this one? I mean, it's RIGHT THERE.

Admittedly, it may have been used before. From 2009, Superman/Batman Grodd #63 "Night and Day" Plot by Michael Green and Mike Johnson, script by Mike Johnson, art by Rafael Albuquerque. 

Batman is the lone resistance to Gorilla Grodd, who not only controls just about every mind on the planet, but has also finally successfully seeded earth's atmosphere with synthetic Kryptonite, driving Superman (and Lois, and a few others) off-world. While children are occasionally able to resist, they are immediately discovered by Grodd, who sends kill-squads out for them: Batman saves a child here, but knows he's only bought his family a few days at best. 

Deep in the sewers of Gotham, Batman still works to undo the Kryptonite saturation. While Bats is able to resist by virtue of the assorted meditations and disciplines he'd learned over the years, the aged Alfred resists just by virtue of being a really good butler. But when he suffers a fatal heart attack, the moment of grief breaks Batman's concentration, like sending up a flare for Grodd to find him, and his squads do, capturing him. He is brought before Grodd, who keeps the uncontrollable but broken Joker as a jester; and the reprogrammed Luthor as an administrator. Grodd says removing resistance from Luthor had been tough, but that wasn't going to work on Batman, so he's going to kill him in front of a stadium full of mind-controlled drones. Grodd laughs at the thought of Batman inspiring them to resist; but Batman says "inspiring" wasn't his job... 

Superman had received Batman's message: he had found an antidote to the synthetic Kryptonite. Grodd looks a little worried at first, but doesn't give up; and while he talks a big game, that fight honestly goes two pages longer than it should. Either Supes is letting Bats get some hits in, or they're playing to the crowd to break the mind-control. With Grodd beaten, Superman will take Grodd into exile, then help earth rebuild... 

OK, so by now you're waiting for the reset button: Alfred dead? Can't be! Oh, and the rest of the JLA, too; but it was too big of a status-quo change. This one was just a simulation, run by Batman on his new servers. Alfred is both annoyed by Bats ignoring another meal, but also finding this a touch "morbid." Still, Bats packs it in for the night, asking Alfred to reheat what was probably a gourmet meal once. 

 Grodd gets the cover this time around, since this was some kind of villain month? I thought Solomon Grundy got the cover for this series on that one, but may have just been thinking of a later issue. The GCD is down as I type this, but maybe we'll see before it posts. (And it's back, I was thinking of a later one!)

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Eee, that got dark in a hurry.

I wish these tribute issues had included not just the cover of the original issue, but the story as well; since I sincerely doubt Green Lantern #31 was this much of a downer. From 2004, DC Comics Presents: Green Lantern #1, featuring "Penny for Your Thoughts, Dollar for Your Destiny!" Written by Brian Azzarello, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, inks by Sal Buscema; and "Feel Something" Written by Martin Pasko, pencils by Scott McDaniel, inks by Andy Owens. Cover by Brian Bolland, in tribute to Gil Kane and Murphy Anderson. 

"Penny for Your Thoughts, Dollar for Your Destiny" starts as a lark, with GL (Hal) in Coast City, selling power rings for a dollar! The JLA arrives in short order, to see what's up--actually, Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman arrive, followed in short order by the Flash, who later points out they forgot to pick up Aquaman again. While confused at what Hal's up to, Flash is up for buying a ring, but didn't have a buck on him; so he's shoved out of line by a rather large--and hirsute--'woman.' Although the heroes don't seem to pay a lot of attention to 'her,' that was obviously Gorilla Grodd in drag: Hal captures him, apologizing that "power rings only fit on fingers, not #@%!! dirty paws like yours..." The ring sale was a trick to lure Grodd out, and Hal says he'll buy back the rings he sold next. (Wouldn't all those people have flown off, in different directions? Hal's whole morning is going to be shot.) 

The denouement is a bit off, though: the JLA'ers leave together in the invisible jet, and Superman muses that Hal's power is only limited by his imagination, and he may be the most powerful of them all. Flash counters, we're talking about Hal here; and they all have a hearty laugh, because god Hal's dumb. Batman over-explains the joke, though; leaving them all wondering, what if they had the ring...or if one of them did? It feels a little mean, and not quite right; but Breyfogle's art is great. 

In "Feel Something," Hal isn't selling the rings: Ollie comes to him because a grifter pirates a TV transmission for an ad selling power rings, only $89.99! For, as Ollie puts it, "some hunks of plastic you should only find in a gumball machine." Ollie can't figure out why Hal isn't more pissed off about this, either: he had put the grifter away before, "the sweat shop king of Star City," who probably used slave child labor to make his fake rings. GA and GL catch him at another of his tapings, and Hal has to stop Ollie from beating the grifter to death, although Hal later admits he only stopped him because he might've killed him himself. The grifter reminded Hal too much of his father's abuse; worse, Hal had to use a lot of will to keep his thoughts away from the rage his father taught him. This was a Hal with grey on his temples, which would've been relatively shortly before his heel-turn as Parllax. Also, this particular issue would have been published just two months prior to the last issue of Kyle Rayner's Green Lantern run, and almost feels like the last time DC would be down on Hal Jordan. (Actually, thinking about it; I don't think these were "in-continuity," and that Hal's dad has since been portrayed as the bestest, since Hal is the bestest...)  

The only Julius Schwartz tribute issue left to cover here is the Hawkman issue, which I might have around here somewhere? Someday.

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Feels like this could've been a few more issues. Maybe.

I have no idea why I didn't buy these when they came out, especially since I would buy the next 18 issues. From 2005, JLA Classified #1-3, written by Grant Morrison, pencils by Ed McGuinness, inks by Dexter Vines. Got all three from the dollar bin the other day, although #1 is in pretty bad shape.

Like a number of Morrison's JLA stories, there is a lot going on: the entire JLA, minus Batman, is out, investigating a super-villain infiltration of "the infant universe of Qwewq." Gorilla Grodd attacks, and later takes over, the Ultramarines. Along with some very Morrison ideas, that team featured Club of Heroes alumni Knight and Squire, and another version of Jack O'Lantern: in fact, later we'd see some more members also from the old Global Guardians like Olympian and Tasmanian Devil. Covering for his team, Batman goes into his "sci-fi closet" and subs in robot versions of the League! Who don't do especially well; in fact I don't think they last four pages. (McGuinness's version of the Superman Robot would get a pretty nice action figure some years back; I don't know if anyone else's robot did.) Hmm, just noticed Bats didn't have a Wonder Woman-robot; but I think the bots may have all been refurbished Superman-robots, so that would make sense.

May be too much going on here: while Squire has a moment to shine, the overall message of this story seems to be a team that kills might not be equipped to deal with "jet-powered apes and time travel." So, it's implied, why not send the Ultramarines to clean up Qwewq? I know the Knight and Squire would be seen later, but I don't know if the rest was followed up on. It also feels like the JLA itself is barely in this, which might be intentional: they're kept at arm's length, godlike and remote.
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80-Page Thursdays: Countdown Special: the Atom #2!

Hey, Ray! Find Jean Loring yet?

OK, guess not. From 2008, Countdown Special: the Atom #2, reprinting from 1977-78 Super-Team Family #13-14, "Ragnarok Night!" and "The End of the Quest!" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Arvell Jones, inks by Romeo Tanghal.


The Atom quest for Jean Loring leads him back to earth, where we find Aquaman and Captain Comet (guest-starring from Secret Society of Super-Villains) are fighting planet-wide disasters caused by the Wind Pirate. (Or Pirates. Flash and Atom were fighting them in the first chapter!) Meanwhile, in Lemuria...which I thought was in the Marvel Universe...Jean Loring has been found, but hopelessly insane, her mind charged with "radiation energies" that are mingling with the Wind Pirate's machinery to make his disasters even greater.

Captain Comet uses his mental powers to project Atom into Jean's mind, then Comet and Aquaman have to fight the Wind Pirate's forces. While all three are successful, the radiation remains in Jean's mind, making it impossible to awaken her without destroying the earth! Thus necessitating the "Arrrrggh!" above.

Unfortunately, while these specials had reprinted all of the story up to now, here we miss a chapter somehow, Secret Society of Super-Villains #10! The one where the Creeper and Star Sapphire kidnap Jean Loring, and I still don't know why the Creeper's with the Society and not in SSoSV #11! Gorilla Grodd controls the Society here; a formerly mind-controlled and somewhat disgruntled Sapphire, and the animal-hating Floronic Man, who's also planning to betray Grodd.

Atom enlists the help of Wonder Woman here, after helping her stop invading alien robots. On Diana's shoulder, Atom even gets to visit Paradise Island and check out the Crystal of Knowledge; while the Floronic Man brings Jean to Grodd. The Society takes over Gorilla City, since Grodd was homesick, but it's also a good base to blackmail humanity. Or blow it up, either way. While Wonder Woman and Atom are briefly stopped, they manage to rally to defeat the Society. As they do, WW recounts an origin for Floronic Man that I think was discredited later, about him being an alien from a "plant dimension." Huh.

Stopping Grodd from using Jean to destroy humanity, the Atom also somehow drives the radiation out of Jean, curing her. And freeing her up for a February wedding, although the Atom is probably going to have to let her in on his secret identity before then.
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The Creeper's in two panels this issue, so we have time to see Captain Comet go on a date.

Well, that sounds like a losing proposition.

From 1977, Secret Society of Super-Villains #11, "A Changing of the Guard" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Mike Vosburg, inks by Joe Orlando. I had to go back and add "SSOSV" as a tag, since I've read multiple issues of these title, even blogged about them, yet have only a vague idea what the hell is happening in any given issue. This time, that's in part because there was a Secret Society of Super-Villains Special/DC Special Series #6 and an issue of Super-Team Family since the last regular issue. (I may have the special, somewhere.)

So, I haven't the foggiest why the Creeper was with the Society, but he brought the Wizard to the police--which may or may not be a heroic act, the Society's members dicked each other over all the time like that, and it could've been a power-play. Moreover, getting arrested was actually part of the Wizard's plan, to recover his Cloak of Invisibility, Power Glove, and Magic Prism. (The district attorney that let the Wizard take them out of evidence to "explain" them should be so fired...) The Wizard next catches up with the Floronic Man, who was on the verge of finishing his formula to wipe out all animal life on earth: Wizard isn't stopping him out of heroism, or even to save his own skin, but to retake leadership of the Secret Society! With his power objects again, the Wizard was able to so by force rather than by trickery as he had before--by counterfeiting millions of dollars with his magic! Roy Thomas stand-in Funky Flashman gets the worst of that deal, and is left on skid row in Gotham...

So, I think a villain could take leadership of the Society by having a great scheme, by brute force, or by bribery. Maybe some other ways, too. But that leaves me wondering why the villains were part of the Society in the first place? All the usual reasons don't seem like good ideas when you consider how generally untrustworthy the whole lot of them were. I also don't know why Captain Comet was usually the lead for this title, or why he had a holster...he had super-telekinetic powers or something, right? So did he carry a gun, too? A ray gun, maybe? Shrug.
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Have I posted this? Well, I'm out anyway, so...

Out today! Been working early and driving too much, but I'm working on a quick review and a short strip tonight, hopefully.
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80-Page Thursdays: DC Special Series #11!

Two weeks in a row! Yay! Today, a book that brings back a character that I didn't think appeared again, a couple plot points I'm not sure were readdressed, and proof that capital punishment isn't a deterrent, in DC Special Series #11, "Beyond the Super-Speed Barrier!" Written by Cary Bates, and art by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez, Irv Novick, Kurt Schaffenberger, Alex Saviuk, and more.

In the heart of deepest Africa (as they said in an old Batman Power Records story!) there lies a hidden city. Gorilla City, home of super-advanced simians, and longtime Flash villain Gorilla Grodd. Fed up with his years of super-crimes both there and in the human world, the city's High Council has voted 6-to-1 to execute Grodd. (Even though his crimes to this point are probably pretty tame compared to anything he's probably done in the last ten years or so.) Only the gorilla's leader Solovar voted to let Grodd live--Solovar's kind of like Commissioner Gordon in these stories: although he's the authority figure, he's usually not given a ton to do.

After Grodd's molecules are dispersed and spread into another dimension, Kid Flash has a harrowing encounter after a date goes badly and his girlfriend takes off on his motorcycle--at super-speed, to the point where she burns up! Luckily, it's an illusion, created by an unseen gorilla intruder...Kid Flash's segment ends with him about to graduate high school, and revealing his secret identity to his parents. (Who were utterly horrible in the 90's Flash comic: his dad was a Manhunter plant, and his mom was merely passive-aggressively guilt-mongering, if I recall.)

The current Flash, Barry Allen, visits Solovar in Gorilla City and gets the scoop on Grodd's execution. He then races back to Central City, to get to work before his assistant, Patty, as seen in Five-Star Super-Hero Spectacular as the imaginary Lady Flash. Then Flash has to face the bad guy from Showcase #4, the Turtle! The Turtle zaps the Flash with his "slow laser," affecting the Flash's super-speed vision. Luckily, a quick couple of laps around the world until the Flash hits the same frequency as the laser fixes his vision. But the slow laser had also been adjusted by the unseen gorilla...


Later, on Earth-2, Jay Garrick has revealed his secret identity to the world! Which makes it easy for the gorilla to track him down, at a press conference attended by the other super-speed hero, Johnny Quick. The gorilla affects Johnny's super-speed formula, making him a super-fast menace. Jay has to accelerate to another dimension to snap Johnny out of it, all part of the gorilla's plan.

That night, Barry and Iris push their beds together; when Flash's costume explodes out of his ring without warning! That...that never happens...

But it happens to Wally at the dinner table, too! All three Flashes are then summoned (Jay all the way from Earth-2) to face the gorilla. Grodd? No, Grodd's assistant. Or the animated corpse of Grodd's unwilling assistant, controlled by Grodd's mental powers: his execution was all part of his master plan, to harvest speed from the Flashes when they hit the right frequency. Grodd's reformed and has super-speed to boot, but the Flashes manage to beat him by merging their atoms for a triple-powered punch.

The issue ends with Wally's graduation (and a bunch of heroes show up) but a troubling conversation with Barry: Wally plans on being Kid Flash only for the next four years while he's in college, then retiring as a superhero. Of course that's not what ends up happening, since I think Wally was sick, possibly on the verge of dying before Crisis on Infinite Earths. I don't know if Jay's reveal would come up again or not, nor do I know if Patty appeared again. And this is so close to introducing the Speed Force--but not quite.
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"Outgrodded."

I...I don't think I have an explanation for this one.

I still think my Hit-Monkey has two right hands, but it's small enough not to be noticed. Pity I never finished that Ultra-Humanite, though...

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I didn't want to call this post 'Gorilla My Dreams,' but there wasn't much choice.


From Tarzan Annual #1, "Tarzan's First Love" Adapted from Jungle Tales of Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs, written by Roy Thomas, art by John Buscema and Steve Gan.

I'm not a huge Tarzan fan by any means. I remember reading the first book as a kid, and that was pretty much it. I loved (and still do) the John Carter, Warlord of Mars stuff, but Tarzan I could take or leave. It's been years, but the problem may have been the forward or annotation or something pseudo-scholarly to the effect of how in the unlikely event of a child being raised by apes, said child wouldn't grow up to be king of the apes, but would be a shambling shell of a man. A man that would probably not have any qualms about eating apemeat or, um, loving an ape. Wherever I read that, that little tidbit of information, whether true or not, would pretty much hold down my further suspension of disbelief on Tarzan, and kick it in the kidneys.

It would be like rereading A Princess of Mars with a professor giving a running commentary in the other ear about how teleportation is impossible, Mars couldn't support an atmosphere, four-armed creatures are evolutionarily unlikely, etc.

That said, my first thought reading the first story in this issue? I was mildly surprised this was able to get through the old Comics Code, frankly. A man in love with a gorilla almost seems likely to raise more eyebrows today...

That, and John Buscema could draw, no doubt about that. Tarzan looks a bit too much like Conan in a couple of panels, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing either.

Comics Should Be Good is in the middle of "Ape-ril," a month long (maybe) look at comics' greatest apes, gorillas, monkeys, baboons, and assorted primates. Want to know a little secret? I hate apes. Hate 'em. Ever since I saw Beneath the Planet of the Apes as a very little kid. I remember sitting there, shell-shocked, as Nova, then Brent, then Taylor, and finally the whole frickin' planet went down; furrow-browed and hating apes with every ounce of my tiny being.

It's yet another reason why the Tim Burton remake was so awful: I was aching to see humans finally rise up against their simian oppressors and at long last kick ape tail...apes don't have tails, do they? Anyway, the humans didn't, the movie sucked, and I really do hate every ape I see. Could be a long month. Read more!

Now with 75% more tangents!


This is one of those stories that DC would typically start with a question; perhaps a splash page of Gorilla Grodd stomping on Green Lantern as the narration wonders how this could be, or where's the Flash, or why GL can't take him. Instead, "The Secret Origin of Gorilla Grodd!" opens with Hal getting reamed by his bosses, the Guardians of the Universe. Hal's performance review isn't going very well, as the Guardians accuse him of "unleashing a terrible menace on your home world, Terra!"

The incident in question was from Green Lantern #1, "Planet of Doomed Men!" and to be fair, I'm not 100% sure Hal knew about the Guardians at that point. A quick re-reading of that issue, revealed that the Guardians hadn't let Hal remember them yet, so he was just taking occasional instructions from his lantern. Hmm. Well, that would probably have been more fun, thinking you're the only one in the universe with a magic ring (and bossy lantern); not just one out of a couple thousand, with bosses and limits and rules and expectations. Phooey.

(Incidently, where are the terrifying Green Lanterns? There's robots, bird-head guys, plants, planets, the occasional amorphous blob, and so on; but where are the crab monsters, the drooling spiders, the Lovecraftian nameless things? I'm sure there's lots of scary, horrible monsters that would be noble and shining members of the Green Lantern Corps, but no, they have to give rings to Ch'p or that easily squishable one that looked like a hummingbird.)

The Guardians roll a clip from GL #1, stating that their recorders picked up Hal's thoughts "as well as the physical action," and based on that, I really really hope for Hal's sake that new Brave and the Bold issue with Supergirl was 'off the clock.' Brrr.

How many sidebars have I had so far? Two? Three? Even for me, that's pretty bad. Anyway, they watch Hal, on the alien world Calor, fight the Dryg; a giant, mohawked, telepathic ape thing. With pointy ears, and no visible genitalia, thank Rao. After an epic five-panel battle, Hal freezes the Dryg, and dumps it at one of the planet's polar regions to stay frozen. (Assuming it was 'frozen like Captain America frozen,' and not 'frozen like the steaks in my freezer frozen.') Then Hal split back for earth to strike out with Carol, again.

The Guardians roll back the tape to point out a speck in the distance, which when enlarged and viewed from a completely different angle, turns out to be a gorilla. A helpful, sacrilegious Guardian explains evolution basics for you, and points out that Calor is that much-ballyhooed planet where apes evolved from men. Hal went to a southern elementary school, and is understandably confused.

(Boo! I'm just on the agnostic side of godless, but can't we all just accept evolution? I have a less hard time believing God created the universe over millions of years, then slowly evolved single-celled organisms into men. Creating the universe in six twenty-four hour days is allegory, not fact. And dinosaur bones don't come from Satan. Like Satan could influence Walt Simonson's signature! Christ...)

Man, this thing's going to go completely off the rails any time now. Deep breath: The Guardians roll footage of the gorilla hightailling it back to his gorilla city...the Gorilla City, as it turns out, home of the Super-Gorillas previously seen in issues of the Flash. Our nameless gorilla reaches his leader Solovar, and outlines an admittedly clever plan to use their mighty brains to tap into Green Lantern's power ring, and move their whole civilization off of the increasingly volcanic Calor.


Hal has a moment to be kind of impressed with himself, towing an entire city through space without knowing it; before the Guardians step all over that.

But, during the twenty-minute trip to Earth, our unnamed gorilla declares that since he found their Green Lantern mule and saved all of them, he should be the new leader. Solovar says maybe he should wait for the next election, at which point mystery gorilla decides to invoke the 25th amendment all over Solovar's face. Cue somewhat graceless gorilla fight.


Hmm, not enough biting or crap-throwing or whatever. Since this fight is during the move to earth, it destabilizes the whole mess, and the city is damaged by "Planetoids--crashing down upon us!" That turns out to be a lucky break, as a falling hunk of debris knocks out the unnamed gorilla, whom we all now know as...Grodd.

Green Lantern had previously fought Grodd, but in the version he knew, Gorilla City had been there for eons. (Hopefully with a better name.) According to the Guardians, that's a load of crap; and the Calorian gorillas made it up because they were afraid of being deported. Yeah, they could get thrown off earth like Superman, the Martian Manhunter, Hawkman and Hawkwoman...

Hal good-naturedly asks if the Guardians want him to forcibly relocate the gorillas, because if not their secret was no skin off his ass. The Guardian tell him there's more: the imprisoned Grodd was able to tap the power ring's energy and free himself. Grodd's next step is to head into the jungle, and send a telepathic message to lure in Green Lantern. That has the added bonus of 'blocking yet another date with Carol.


(Print out like several hundred of these. Stick them on top of every panel Green Lantern's in, ever. You're welcome.)

Hidden, Grodd is able to get the ring to make a hammer, but Hal's still able to block it. Grodd then takes the direct approach: announcing himself to GL, then sucker-punching him. The ring won't come off Hal's finger (?) but Grodd is still able to use it's power, which leads to a giant gorilla stomping up a city full of gorillas. Gorillas, gorillas, gorillas. The word's losing all meaning for me, and I may never do that Tarzan post now...

Hal wakes up, his ring presumably having prevented Grodd from punching his head off. He fights the giant Grodd, echoing the fight with the Dryg; then realizes Giant-Grodd is just an energy duplicate. Actually, Hal probably wouldn't have picked up on that if Grodd hadn't jumped up and announced it, leaving himself open to GL's liquid-oxygen attack.

Solovar thanks Green Lantern for saving the city...by wiping his mind of any memory of it. Since by that time in the current continuity, Gorilla City was known, accepted, and ruined by tourists; the Guardians figured they could let Hal know the rest of the story. Ignoring more mindrape, GL is amused that he fought and beat Grodd before Flash ever heard of him; which probably isn't going to sound as funny to the Flash.

HAL: Hey, Barry, guess what? Turns out, the gorillas in Gorilla City aren't really gorillas! They're gorilla-aliens, and I brought them to earth! Isn't that something?

BARRY: What the hell, man! Grodd killed like forty people in Central City last week! He ate an entire S.W.A.T. team and ripped the face off a nun!

HAL: Um...they were hitchhiker gorilla-aliens?

BARRY: Jesus, Hal! Grodd's controlled my mind before. My mind, Hal. It's like having an 800-pound gorilla squatting down in your friggin' skull. Unpleasant, Hal, unpleasant.

HAL: (softly) I'm sorry, Barry. (hangs head)

BARRY: Ah...it's not your fault, Hal. It's ok. (muttering)I swear, I can still taste ape fur.

Other oddities: The gorillas of Calor, while allegedly one of the most advanced societies in the history of ever, never themselves mastered space travel, presumably because they didn't have any monkeys for the test flights. That, or gorilla hair always clogs the instruments.

This story, and the other two in this issue, were pretty much apocryphal even before Crisis and everything. Gorilla City is considered to be homegrown today, which is just as well, otherwise the current Zoom would be directly Hal's fault...


Deep breath: From Green Lantern #1, reprinted in DC Blue Ribbon Digest #4, "Planet of the Doomed Men!" Written by John Broome, art by Gil Kane and Murphy Anderson.

From Fantastic Four #345, "The Mesozoic Mambo!" Written and drawn by Walt Simonson...although, I didn't find the credits flipping through the issue.

And mainly, from DC Super-Stars Presents #14, "G--as in Guardians, Green Lantern, and Gorilla Grodd!" Written by Bob Rozakis, art by Rich Buckler and Bob Layton. Read more!

How this panel doesn't show up in every third Green Lantern comic, I have no idea. From DC Super-Stars Presents #14, "G--as in Guardians, Green Lantern, and Gorilla Grodd!" Written by Bob Rozakis, art by Rich Buckler and Bob Layton.

I'm being a little harsh on poor Hal, but in this issue he's written like the dumbest person at the party. Granted, Hal's not as bright as the Guardians of the Universe, the Super-Gorillas, or Carol Ferris...or Pieface (who is unfortunately colored green in his one-panel appearence) but, um, I think I saw a caveman in there somewhere...

Actually, I think Hal's smart, just thoughtless, if that makes sense. But I'll finish up on this issue later today, promise. I worked from five in the morning until six last evening, and it was just a weird day anyway. My alarm clocks (yes, I need two) didn't go off, yet I still got up in time. It was cold in the morning, but I biked anyway; then twice during the day I looked up and it was like a snowglobe outside, then bone-dry on my way home. And then I had time to load one panel, which just made me want to post on the rest of the story, which I will. But later. Read more!