Eee, that got dark in a hurry.

I wish these tribute issues had included not just the cover of the original issue, but the story as well; since I sincerely doubt Green Lantern #31 was this much of a downer. From 2004, DC Comics Presents: Green Lantern #1, featuring "Penny for Your Thoughts, Dollar for Your Destiny!" Written by Brian Azzarello, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, inks by Sal Buscema; and "Feel Something" Written by Martin Pasko, pencils by Scott McDaniel, inks by Andy Owens. Cover by Brian Bolland, in tribute to Gil Kane and Murphy Anderson. 

"Penny for Your Thoughts, Dollar for Your Destiny" starts as a lark, with GL (Hal) in Coast City, selling power rings for a dollar! The JLA arrives in short order, to see what's up--actually, Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman arrive, followed in short order by the Flash, who later points out they forgot to pick up Aquaman again. While confused at what Hal's up to, Flash is up for buying a ring, but didn't have a buck on him; so he's shoved out of line by a rather large--and hirsute--'woman.' Although the heroes don't seem to pay a lot of attention to 'her,' that was obviously Gorilla Grodd in drag: Hal captures him, apologizing that "power rings only fit on fingers, not #@%!! dirty paws like yours..." The ring sale was a trick to lure Grodd out, and Hal says he'll buy back the rings he sold next. (Wouldn't all those people have flown off, in different directions? Hal's whole morning is going to be shot.) 

The denouement is a bit off, though: the JLA'ers leave together in the invisible jet, and Superman muses that Hal's power is only limited by his imagination, and he may be the most powerful of them all. Flash counters, we're talking about Hal here; and they all have a hearty laugh, because god Hal's dumb. Batman over-explains the joke, though; leaving them all wondering, what if they had the ring...or if one of them did? It feels a little mean, and not quite right; but Breyfogle's art is great. 

In "Feel Something," Hal isn't selling the rings: Ollie comes to him because a grifter pirates a TV transmission for an ad selling power rings, only $89.99! For, as Ollie puts it, "some hunks of plastic you should only find in a gumball machine." Ollie can't figure out why Hal isn't more pissed off about this, either: he had put the grifter away before, "the sweat shop king of Star City," who probably used slave child labor to make his fake rings. GA and GL catch him at another of his tapings, and Hal has to stop Ollie from beating the grifter to death, although Hal later admits he only stopped him because he might've killed him himself. The grifter reminded Hal too much of his father's abuse; worse, Hal had to use a lot of will to keep his thoughts away from the rage his father taught him. This was a Hal with grey on his temples, which would've been relatively shortly before his heel-turn as Parllax. Also, this particular issue would have been published just two months prior to the last issue of Kyle Rayner's Green Lantern run, and almost feels like the last time DC would be down on Hal Jordan. (Actually, thinking about it; I don't think these were "in-continuity," and that Hal's dad has since been portrayed as the bestest, since Hal is the bestest...)  

The only Julius Schwartz tribute issue left to cover here is the Hawkman issue, which I might have around here somewhere? Someday.

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Counting the days until "Mortimer Kadaver" appears on Gotham.

Man, I wish I had the previous issue handy, but pressing on: from 1990, Detective Comics #611, "Snow and Ice, part two: Bird of Ill Omen" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, inks by Steve Mitchell. Previously, Batman attended the funeral of the Penguin; who faked his death, aided by the death-fetishist Mortimer Kadaver. (He had appeared in #589, the first Grant/Breyfogle issue I read; and had a hand-shaped scar burned into his face that issue.) Kadaver had hypnotized Penguin to put him into a death-like coma, and was trying to make Penguin hold up his end of the bargain and bust him out. Which he does, except Penguin was more than willing to throw Kadaver out of a helicopter afterward; but Kadaver planned ahead for that, and still had the post-hypnotic command that could put the Penguin into a coma that only he could reverse.

Batman knows something is up, but can't nail it down yet. Meanwhile, working with his new "partner," Penguin picks up some new gear, and they hit a drug deal for some quick cash. This was the snow, and next on Penguin's list was the ice, with a brazen--and bloody--diamond smash-and-grab. Batman is furious at this point, but knows the Penguin's next target: robbing the proceeds of his charity-scam "Antarctic Reserve Penguin Fund." Why he had to hit all three the same night is anyone's guess, but after a quick trip to the restroom, Penguin's ready to deal with Kadaver, having simply plugged his ears with toilet paper. Kadaver tries his safewords, but since he can't hear them, Penguin is free to shoot him: like most "death-fetishist" types, Kadaver is not ready to die when he's looking down the barrel of a gun. Unfortunately, Penguin's giving clues to Batman fails to pay off yet again, as Batman catches him outside and after a short scuffle, shuts him down.

I don't think Penguin always had that clue-leaving tendency--certainly not to the extent of the Riddler or others--but this time he seems compelled to try and rub Batman's nose in it. I also don't know how he beat the charges, since Pengy commits at least four murders this issue alone: I wasn't sure if Kadaver survived getting shot, but he would return in Shadow of the Bat #11.

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The Crime Doctor would be ripe for a comeback, if not for the Obamacare jokes...

The cover to this issue is pretty breathless: "Who is this man? How did he learn Batman is Bruce Wayne? What will he do with that knowledge?" From 1980, Detective Comics #494, "The Crime Doctor Calls at Midnight!" Written by Michael Fleisher, art by Dan Newton and Bob Smith. Said cover does make the Crime Doctor look like a bit of a thug or slasher, when in actuality he's pretty suave. Dr. Bradford Thorne makes a pretty penny planning criminal heists and treating banged-up crooks, which he funnels into medical services for the poor: he's not in it for the money, but the thrill.

When Batman is hurt beyond Alfred's medical skills, and his regular physician Dr. Dundee on vacation--this being pre-Crisis, so Alfred wasn't the accomplished combat medic we would see later, and Dundee knew Batman's identity--Bruce Wayne is forced to visit Dr. Thorne for treatment of a "fencing wound." Both are in attendance of a society party later, but as Bruce leaves after seeing the Bat-Signal, Thorne gets an emergency page on his beeper for the Crime Doctor! His "house call" is helping a gang rob a drug company of interferon; a crime he finds distasteful since patients needed the drug. When Batman shows up to fight the gang, Thorne blinds him with his headlamp, then slices him with a scalpel, exposing the dressing he had placed earlier! The gang flees with the interferon, leaving a bomb to take care of Batman and the Crime Doctor!

This was a 68-page issue, and only 16 pages were this story! Worse, I don't have the next issue!

But the Crime Doctor seems like an OK guy for a criminal mastermind there, whereas in the first issue I saw him he was a straight-up gangster baddie: from 1987, Detective Comics #579, "The Crime Doctor's Crimson Clinic" Written by Mike W. Barr, art by Norm Breyfogle. Batman and Robin (Jason!) know the Crime Doctor is back in down after they fight a gang trying to rob a bank...a blood bank! The Crime Doctor wanted a good stock for an upcoming heart surgery on a mob boss, while a low-level thug says good-bye to his family, since he's going to be the heart donor!

It's a fun, one-and-done issue, although I don't know how the Crime Doctor just plumb forgot Batman's secret identity...yet. We'll find it sooner or later...

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80-Page Thursdays: Flash 80-Page Giant #2!

I had this one sitting around before the comicon, even scanned some panels, but hadn't gotten around to blogging it yet since it seemed to be filled with things that were never coming to the DC Universe again. From 1999, Flash 80-Page Giant #2, featuring stories by Brian Augustyn, Tom Peyer, Christopher Priest, William Messner-Loebs, and more; with art by Norm Breyfogle, Kieron Dwyer, Jackson Guice, Ron Lim, and more.

The lead story, "Riddle of the Retro Robberies!" stars the Golden Age Flash and Kid Flash/Wally, and ties into Secret Origins #50 "Flash of Two Worlds!" The recently restored Keystone City, missing for twenty years or more, is besieged by robbers stealing seemingly worthless, outdated crap. But after seeing a kid roll up a thousand-dollars worth of comic and put it in his back pocket, Wally realizes the city is a time capsule for collectors! The speedsters wrap up the thieves, and the collectibles are used to bankroll updating Keystone--and Barry manages to fill some holes in his collection. (I kept thinking the Secret Origins story featured a young Wally as the narrator, but I mis-remembered that!)

After a Teen Titans story, Priest tells one from Wally's days in the Justice League Europe, the days when he was a bit of a cad. Spreading himself a bit thin between the JLE, the Titans, and two dates; Wally gets himself beat by a baddie calling himself the Rogue, who puts him down as Kid Flash. Although it momentarily appears that the Rogue kills dozens in a nightclub (and Hal coldly tells Wally he's supposed to be at a meeting instead and to "stop thinking like a sidekick") Wally eventually figures the Rogue is really...Donna Troy? Who, with the Titans, staged the deaths of dozens of people to try and teach Wally he belongs with their team? Kind of messed up...this story wasn't as good as some of Priest's others that we've seen in these 80-pagers.

William Messner-Loebs returns with a tale from when Captain Cold and Golden Glider were plying their trade as bounty hunters--they'd be villains again soon enough. Then Wally agonizes over marrying Linda in "The Answer."


The rest of the issue features future Flashes, mainly the Kingdom Come Kid Flash and XS from the Legion of Super-Heroes. Still, there's a strong sense of legacy here that's noticeably missing in the New 52, which is why this issue felt so much older than it really was for me. It felt like something that's gone now, which undermined it a bit.

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80-Page Thursdays: Superman 80-Page Giant #1!

I kind of hope DC continues doing 80-pagers in the new, post-52 continuity. They're a useful way to give tryouts to new artists and writers, or to let a bigger name do a story without facing a monthly deadline. ("We need your eight-page Superman story in...2013.") And they give an opportunity to touch in with supporting cast members or odd bits of continuity that might not have the room to breathe in a regular title. Today's book seems like it exemplifies those ideas, although that may well be do more to happenstance than anything: Superman 80-Page Giant #1, featuring stories from Mike W. Barr, Dan Jurgens, John Rozum, Garth Ennis and more; with art by Norm Breyfogle, Bob McLeod, John McCrea, and more.

Barr has two stories this issue, but the first with Norm Breyfogle is the best. (Brett Breeding inks this one, and two others here.) In "Big Name," a Russian immigrant working for the mob becomes a laughingstock after an encounter with Superman, and swears to kill him. His first attempt, with a cement mixer, makes him more of a mockery; so he goes with evil Russian nesting dolls. Seems reasonable...

Next, Clark Kent is concerned when a new newspaper strip, "Captain Tomorrow," seems to read a little too closely to his and Lois's own life. Then, there's a short Scorn tale. Scorn was an alien monster from the then-current version of Kandor; a big, blue bruiser; living in Metropolis with a blind girl. I can't remember the nature of their relationship, if it was platonic or they were a couple, but Scorn was a decent guy mostly due to her. Still, I may have gotten the wrong message from his stories: that Metropolis is chock-full of jerks. It's a fish out of water story where the fish is a shark that somehow refrains from just eating everyone, and the other fish push him on it.

There's a trippy John Rozum/John McCrea story with "the Utopian," a nutter who expanded his mind and wants to do the same for everyone else. McCrea goes crazier on the art than Graham Higgins on the following Mxyzptk one. Then, we get to visit Noonan's Bar, as Garth Ennis and Nelson show us "How to be a Superhero!" Featuring Sixpack from Hitman! Ennis only wrote Superman a couple of times, but man, he does it well.
Superman doesn't just do good, he wants to give everyone else the chance to do good as well. Ennis gets it, and his story alone might be worth this one for some readers.
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80-Page Thursdays: Detective Comics #627!

Detective Comics #627, featuring stories from Bill Finger, Mike Friedrich, Marv Wolfman, and Alan Grant; and art by Bob Kane, Bob Brown, Jim Aparo, and Norm Breyfogle. The cover proudly proclaims it's the "Anniversary celebrating Batman's 600th Appearance in Detective Comics," the GCD notes "Mistakenly labeled 600th appearance of Batman anniversary issue. Actually 601st appearance in Detective Comics." I don't know if anyone noticed at the time...

I also don't know if I appreciated this issue when it first came out: starting with a reprint of Finger and Kane's "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate" from Batman's first appearance in Detective Comics #27, then a reprint of a redone version from Detective #387. Then Wolfman and Aparo, and Grant and Breyfogle put their spin on it. So, it's basically the same story four times.

But, along with getting to see how it first began (and I know that was the first time I read it!) there are some interesting differences. The sixties version, for example, is the only one to feature Robin. Wolfman and Aparo's feature a more modern super villain with a more modern body count, although their Batman seems more saddened than the others, and there's a nod to the current continuity with Commissioner Gordon still recovering from his heart attack. Grant and Breyfogle play up themes they used in their Detective run: garbage, drugs, and the homeless. I didn't care for Breyfogle playing with a more Kane-modeled Bats for the denouement, but there's a spectacular "Batman busts-in" page and scattered through the story are shout-outs to dozens of past Bat-creators, like "Haney Security" or "Englehart Signs, Inc."

A good one, and I don't believe the second two versions have been reprinted to date. Since the renumbering, I don't know if it will anytime soon either, but I don't think it's overly hard to find. Get to it!
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"The End" Week: Anarky #8!

In comics, sometimes the last issue is used to wrap up all the dangling plotlines and bring some closure to a story. And sometimes, it catches the creative team a bit more by surprise, and storylines are left unresolved. Today's book brought up a point that wasn't intended to be the last word on the hero but kind of was: Anarky #8, "The Sins of the Father" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, inks by Joe Rubinstein.

Lonnie Machin, the young hero known as Anarky, has tracked his birth-mother to an asylum. In case that wasn't troubling enough, she tells him his dad...is the Joker. Her mind damaged by Joker-gas, Anarky can't be sure if that's the truth, so he breaks into Arkham to get answers from the horse's mouth. This is a terrible idea, made either better or worse by Anarky leaving his weapons and computer linkup outside, since he can't risk the Joker getting them; before using his boom tube to teleport inside.

Where the Joker is already mid-escape. Quickly overpowered, Anarky questions the Joker, who may be lying or may be too insane to honestly answer. Joined by Two-Face, Killer Croc, and the Ventriloquist; they quickly take several guards hostage, keeping them alive only at Anarky's suggestion. He offers to boom tube them all out, but the Joker makes him swear on it; and Anarky's philosophy of "profound honesty" makes him hesitate. The Joker shotguns Anarky, but his kevlar costume saves him. Freeing the guards and ditching the weapons, the Joker's escape is foiled, but he tosses Anarky's boom tube device over a railing, leaving him to jump for it.

Outside the asylum, an understandably freaked out Anarky rides off, trying to tell himself "genes don't determine, they only predispose..." He really didn't have to worry that much, though: this plotline, suggested by Breyfogle, was opposed by then Batman-editor Denny O'Neil; but Grant convinced him they could do it and if needed, recant later. (Per Anarky's huge wikipedia page.) It also doesn't quite track unless the Joker had been around for over fifteen years or so. And I can't believe the rational mind of Anarky would put any faith in two madpeople--he probably would've done a DNA test before listening to a word out of either of their mouths. Still, I have to admit, he could've been rattled on that one.
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Since I'm running behind, here's Anarky vs. R'as al Ghul:

...and it gets worse for Lonnie, in Anarky #5, "War and Peace, part two" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, inks by Joe Rubinstein. When Anarky intercepts launch codes that R'as al Ghul is trying to use to destroy humanity, he quickly finds himself in over his head. Beaten, tortured, and with his own symbol carved in his chest, Anarky has no choice but to give up the codes. (They were on him, so they would've been found; but that never happens to Batman...)

R'as leaves his men to dispose of Anarky, who manages to escape by jumping out of a moving van into a river. Beaten, bleeding, and freezing; at the end of the issue he still manages a pose reminiscent of Wolverine in X-Men #132. Really need to find that next issue now...

Should have my lazy hide back in gear tomorrow. Here's hoping.
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80-Page Thursdays: One Million!

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! Today, revisit the Quantum Age of Comics with DC One Million 80-Page Giant, with Grant Morrison, Mark Millar, Chuck Dixon, and more writing; and Mike Wieringo, Flint Henry, Norm Breyfogle, Dusty Abell and more on art.

I like DC's 853rd Century, but I find it exhausting. With the core heroes stationed on different worlds of the solar system (and Batman presumably upgrading Pluto back to planet status by virtue of being Batman) and Justice Legions from A to Z (and possibly more) I don't think we've seen a baseline human normo yet in that setting. And why would we, when everyone and anyone could be a fifth-generation genesplice of Tamaranian and Braalian traits, trained in Vuldarian hapkido, carrying on the heroic legacy of the Infrared Bee, and locked in battle with Hellgrammite³? If none of that made any sense, DC's One Million is not going to be for you.

To be fair, the 853rd Century looks to be just as exhausting for the heroes as well: I suspect this is Morrison's doing, and could be read as a commentary on modern man or superman; but the crisis level is constantly at 10. 10+. 10+ followed by another 10, then some more that make that first 10 look like a 3. Picture three years worth of Justice League of America--the old series--happening in an afternoon; and that's a slow day in the future. (It's not in this one, but I know there's a Superman One Million story where he gives some prospective alien conquerors a quick tour of the solar system, and they're scared off by watching the JLA bash a bunch of threats in fifteen or so minutes.)

I don't think DC One Million has been seen recently, and with the reboot it might not be again for some time. But, it does kind of undermine dramatic tension: if you know there's a Superman and a Batman legacy centuries in the future, you're more sure than usual how things will turn out in the present. On the other hand, it is a fun place to visit every once in a while. Flip through this one, see if it grabs you. Read more!

He wouldn't approve of one, but I don't see Anarky getting an action figure anyway...

Good lord, I was going to brush up on Anarky's history at his wikipedia page, and it's friggin' huge. Out of his early appearances, I know I read his debut in Detective Comics, his early run-ins with Tim Drake, and his self-titled limited series. I don't think I read today's book when it came out, though: his short-lived regular series, Anarky #1, "Aberration, part one: Power Play" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, Anarky's co-creators. (Inks by Joe Rubinstein.)

After the Bat-Quake event, Batman gives Anarky the "Stay out of Gotham" speech. Like Gotham is Bats' personal hunting ground, and other vigilantes need a license from him...Lonnie Machin, the sixteen-year-old known as Anarky, has lost his parents in the quake; and sets up a new base beneath the Washington Monument. (By this point, Lonnie has not only increased his own intelligence; he has a variety of stolen technology, including a Boom Tube.)

While his major "war is against all parasites--from the major politicians who bleed whole countries dry, to street-scum..." Lonnie has discovered, via math proof, an Aberration that could negate the universe's laws of space and time. As Anarky, he gives his information to the JLA, who are skeptical. As abnormal events begin, Lonnie wants to get a big gun like Green Lantern on the case, and follows a battle between Kyle and Fatality. After a ship crashes, Anarky is able to score a power ring, with which he plans to stop the Aberration...which has just manifested physically. (Anarky does take a moment with the ring to toss a statue of Senator "Gerry Mander" into space. The motto on the statue reads "Our divisions should not lead us to anarchy.")

I've enjoyed a lot of Anarky's stories, but he has to be a tough character to write. Moreso even than Batman, his goal is to save the world and improve humanity's lot, but Anarky is more about social action than punching criminals in the face. Well, Anarky does that do. But he's a bit like Dr. Doom; that is, the Doom from the 2099 books under Warren Ellis. Or the Authority, know that I think about it: none of them wanted to leave the world the way they found it, and they had the intelligence, drive, and resources to fix it...and then what? Not only would that suck the drama out of the book, it would make the various other characters in their respective shared universes look like they dropped the ball. Failure is the only option.

(Actually, I could see that as a Batman story: from the crack of dawn, Bruce Wayne uses his vast resources and wealth to fight the roots of crime: improved housing and job opportunities. More funding for drug and family and psychological counseling. More research and development for alternative energy. Even more equipment and staffing for Gotham's police and Batman, Inc. After an eighteen-hour day, Bruce looks out over his city...and there's still crime. Five minutes later, Batman is flat-out knuckle-busting criminals.)

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