I've been kind of pissed at the Secret Six for upwards of four years now...

...so let's see if we can resolve that with the conclusion of their crossover with my guys, the Doom Patrol! From 2011, Doom Patrol #19, "Suicide Roulette, Part Two: Ring-a-Ding Doom!" Written by Keith Giffen, pencils by Matthew Clark and Ron Randall, inks by Art Thibert and Sean Parsons.

The Secret Six--which is actually eight assholes here; King Shark is present but not on the splash page roll call--have been set on Oolong Island, by spoiled legacy super-villain wannabe Eric of S.M.A.S.H, who has just ignited a volcano on the island. The Doom Patrol didn't give a great showing in the Six's comic, but start to rally here; beginning with Ambush Bug introducing Jeannette to Danny the Bungalow, taking her off the board. Ragdoll is about to peel the bandages off an unconscious Negative Man, when he gets an assist from the cranky pelican that had been harassing him for issues. Catman and Scandal come under fire by the mad scientists of Oolong, which isn't as amusing as they would've hoped. Rita throws Bane over the horizon line, where he lands by Deadshot, pinned down by the island's defenses; then Rita shows her real power to Black Alice, growing huge! But, Rita has to dig a lava trench rather than slap the sass out of her.

Eric, overconfident and sallow, was unprepared for island president Veronica Cale to get through his cloak and get a missile lock, and flees, swearing vengeance, if only to make himself feel better. With their ride splitting, the game has changed for the Six, who no longer have a reason to fight, even though Robotman pops Catman one for it. The Six are put on a jet home, after a bit more trash-talk, and Rita recovers Bumblebee from Ragdoll. Still, the amount of damage and general annoyance caused makes Cale question if the Doom Patrol are pulling their weight, and she contacts Jost of the Front Men. Her pilot warns the team, which Cliff shrugs off, figuring "Mr. Somebody or whatever he's calling himself" and Cale would never be able to work together. So, of course they've already hired the team's replacements, including Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man and the Porcelain Assassin!

I miss this version of the team, just a collection of put-upon sourpusses and weirdos in an almost workaday relationship to superheroing and PTSD. They were kinda miserable, but not without a sense of humor about it. Oh, and I didn't scan all of them, but Catman has a pretty good bit about his grandpa, while Larry and Cliff banter about not thinking. This sold virtually no copies, however...while I'm still steamed at the Six. Read more!

"United" should maybe be in quotes there.

Huh, when I picked up the first Secret Six miniseries, I missed an issue; but this time I got all six in one shot: from 2005, Villains United #1-6, written by Gail Simone, pencils by Dale Eaglesham, inks by Wade von Grawbadger and Prentis Rollins.

This was a tie-in leading up to Infinite Crisis, a DC event that I don't recall especially fondly. It also springs off of bits from Identity Crisis, which I remember even less fondly; but the villains are, as the title implies, getting united; to form a unified front against the mind-wiping bastards of the Justice League. One bad guy I didn't recognize signs on, "For Light," as in Dr. Light. Even though you'd think there would be so many problems getting anti-authoritarian types like villains working together, but the Secret Society of Super-Villains is not having a lot of potential members decline membership, until Talia and Dr. Psycho get turned down by Catman. Who was, at that time, a joke. In a recent issue of Green Arrow, he had been dragged off, presumably to his death, by Monsieur Mallah; on the blog we've seen him beat by the Freedom Fighters, Manhunter, and G'nort! Simone rehabilitates the hell out of the character, starting here, and quickly.

Although the Secret Six would go on, I don't think the Secret Society continued long after Infinite Crisis, although the politics of the group's elite is interesting. While Luthor and Talia seem intent on running the venture like a business, with Calculator and Deathstroke as willing, if mercenary, partners; Talia does have to play on Black Adam's sense of nobility, and Dr. Psycho seems like the loose cannon of the lot. No spoilers, but there is a traitor in that group as well, although I'm not sure you could guess without having a pretty good memory of the continuity at that time. There's also a big fight in the last issue, where it looked like the Scarecrow might have been among several blown up, but he's a bit too name to be killed here. Unlike the Hyena, yet another Firestorm villain wasted! (Speaking of, he makes a cameo as well.)

I was glad to get this out of the quarter bin last week, but now I'm not sure if I haven't read it before. Better blog it now before I buy it again...Also, I may have snorted at the appearance of Mr. Terrible.
Read more!

Every time I have a mini-series missing an issue, drink!

Yeah, that happens way too often for a fun drinking game here. Still, we have a bonus issue though: five issues of the first Secret Six mini-series from 2006, plus the first issue of their 2008 regular series! Well, that's six issues, I guess. Written by Gail Simone, art by Brad Walker and Nicola Scott, inks by Jimmy Palmiotti and Doug Hazlewood.

Darn, I missed the Doom Patrol's appearance, although from the description there, they got jobbed out by the Mad Hatter, who did a short run with the Six. The Hatter was even nuttier than usual here, but had finally started to come around to the team as a burgeoning, completely dysfunctional family; which makes it sad-slash-hilarious when Ragdoll gives him the boot.

Much of this limited revolves around Scandal Savage, her relationship with former Female Fury Knockout, and her father's attempts to coerce her into giving him a grandchild. The latter would be bad enough in any case, but made far worse since her dad was immortal caveman and murder enthusiast Vandal Savage; there's every possibility he wanted a grandkid to eat or harvest its organs or something. And despite being unarguably the team's toughest member (physically) Knockout would get taken out...actually, that would happen multiple times over the title's run! She gets burned down by mercenary Pistolera in #2, but recovers from horrific burns. (Knockout remains, well, a knockout, even after that; thanks to Darkseid's gift of genetic engineering "to stay presentable," I don't think Darkseid cared if guy warriors were burnt lumps of scar tissue or even survived...) Later, on her way for a rematch with Big Barda, Knockout would get got again in what looks like an otherwise fun issue of Birds of Prey (#109) as part of the Death of the New Gods mini. Surprisingly, I think she would still be one of the few New Gods to return after that before the New 52, so good for her.

Still, with Knockout out, the Secret Six would start their regular series down to four members! (Actually, take that back: five. Bane is here, more towards the end of the issue.) Not that I think they referred to themselves by that name, anyway. In the mini-series, Deadshot has a visit with his daughter that predictably goes south; while I didn't feel Catman had as much to do. (Well, there was some stuff with Cheshire...) At the start of the regular series though, after what appears to be a brutal encounter with poachers in Africa, Catman is having a bit of a moral dilemma, which his pal Deadshot blithely pushes through: while they aren't great guys, he figures 90% of the bad stuff they do happens to other bad guys, so whatevs. He also has a disturbing insight to Catman's relationship with the Huntress that I hope is wrong...

Simone has a few plates going from the start: a new crime lord is introduced, from a box; Scandal tries to push through her grief over Knockout, the guys try to set her up with a Knockout-dressed stripper, and the team's latest mission to break out Tarantula seems to be so ill-advised Huntress calls Catman up to warn him. We checked out the last issue several years back, but I still have a lot of issues to fill in here.


Read more!

Honestly, it's not his worst showing here.

How much does a writer have to rehabilitate a character before said writer should be upgraded to creator? Gail Simone didn't create Catman...she only created everything good about him. (Except for fighting the Doom Patrol!) Before Gail fixed him up, we've seen Catman flummoxed by the Freedom Fighters and grounded by G'nort; and today he's manhandled by Manhunter, in 1989's Manhunter #13, "Trackdown" Written by Kim Yale, pencils by John Koch, inks by Pablo Marcos.

Current Manhunter and bounty hunter Mark Shaw isn't having a great week: an intrusive TV reporter has been interfering with his training, and Shaw had been looking for both his next case and his old source, Sylvia Kandrey. She had been a warrants officer, but giving info to Shaw may have hurt her career, and their relationship. Shaw does get a new source, though: a friend from Belle Reve Prison puts him in touch with a new name, Oracle...

I was going to mention, even though this was 1989, neither Mark nor Oracle have keyboards that resemble anything in reality; but would fit in on the bridge of the Enterprise or maybe the Hall of Justice. I don't think this was Oracle's first appearance, but there was a little clue there. Shaw works a few more sources, before attending a museum opening with his step-sister Eleanor. Outside, he sees something and makes a quick call, since he knows Cat-Man is going to hit the museum! Shaw mentions usually preferring to do proper surveillance and plan things out, but every once in a while you just have to make it up as you go.

Cat-Man (this issue has the hyphen, although I prefer it without) makes a showy smash-and-grab of an Egyptian cat statue, but tosses his prize at Shaw when he sees the mask. With his claws, he does a number on Shaw and some guards, but his escape is cut short when his car is being towed! Shaw had recognized Cat-Man's vanity plates, GATO-1, as Spanish for cat, and called him in on his parking tickets. Shaw gets Cat-Man with his power baton, and that's that.

Later, after taking another beating during training, Shaw is visited by Sylvia, who may be willing to forgive him...maybe.

This issue didn't have Doug Rice on art...which hurt every issue he wasn't there. (He did do the cover, but still.) Yale and her husband John Ostrander were usually co-writers on this book, and I always thought they were trying to get a real pipeline going between Manhunter and their other title, Suicide Squad: Shaw would catch a bad guy, they'd be immediately sent to Belle Reve to sink or swim there...! Unfortunately, I don't think Cat-Man did any time on the Squad, so my theory may be full of holes.
Read more!

They're supposed to be lovable rogues, but up against my guys! Screw them!

Gee, looks like I only read the second half of this crossover, and completely bailed on the issue in the book I wasn't reading at the time. Well, now we have it, meaning the second part will turn up the first of never, unless I cave and just buy it again. From 2011, Secret Six #30, "Suicide Roulette, part one: Like a Star on the Horizon" Written by Gail Simone, art by Jim Calafiore.

Even though the Secret Six were ostensibly villains, hey, this was their book, so they were usually the heroes in their story. And they usually come off pretty well, as when Bane, struggling to ask out a girl, punches a guy inappropriately groping her; and compared to the bad guy of this story, a young slacker named Eric who's given his grandfather's will and discovers grandpa was a super-villain, a founder of the crime organization the 100. Eric quickly takes to his grandpa's legacy, becoming a murderous, sexist thug in short order; starting with hiring the Secret Six to take Oolong Island! Because he wants a volcano base, apparently; even though the island's full of genetic monstrosities, mad scientists, and oh yeah, the Doom Patrol!

Simone doesn't quite nail the Patrol's voice, for me anyway, but pretty close. Actually, even though the Six are unfriendly and dangerous, the Doom Patrol seem mostly confused about what's going on: King Shark bites off Elasti-Woman's leg! Which doesn't really seem to hurt, but still. But it's alluded that the Six and the Patrol had a run-in before, or at least some of them, like Robotman and Catman. And Black Alice badmouths Elasti-Woman's movies--oh, hell no! I want to see the Six beat down, but unfortunately Eric has the volcano blown as the issue ends!

Crud, now I'm not even positive I have the next chapter! Man, even though Simone rebuilt Catman from the ground up, I still wanna see Robotman feed him his teeth!
Read more!

Get your thumb outta the scan!

Catman should be eternally grateful to one Gail Simone, since I keep finding old comics where he was an incompetent punching-bag; and today's book continues that trend: from 1977, Freedom Fighters #10, "Murder in Miniature" Written by Bob Rozakis, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Jack Abel.

I guess this is set on Earth-1? Maybe? And Catman may just get the short end of the stick as multiple other plots were already going full steam here: the Ray battles the Americommando, who was actually the Silver Ghost, the big-bad of this series. Black Condor goes in search of the Ray, who is shot in the back because no one knows how his powers work. Doll Man was arrested, framed for the murder of a district attorney; and recaps his origin here. And Uncle Sam takes the rest of the Freedom Fighters...to bail out a company. Seriously!

Instead of turning to the law or insurance when their holdings were stolen, a Minneapolis company wants to cash in their billion dollar loan to New York City: Sam jumps to the conclusion that this would bankrupt the city, and must be part of the Silver Ghost's plot to take Manhattan...so much wrong with this, I don't even know where to start. I don't think Silver Ghost was behind the theft, but he's such a minor villain Wikipedia doesn't cover his master plan!


Anyway, although he's blazing away with twin .45's on the cover, and has a little gang of "Tom-Cats" in purple outfits, Catman is jobbed out here; beat by a flip from Phantom Lady. Who seems to have picked up Phantom Girl's powers, to go with her black-light ray. Not a great showing for Catman, or anyone else involved, then.

Read more!

"Double Date."

I didn't find Chief Carnivus in the Big Lots Masters of the Universe Classics sales recently; but got a good deal on him on eBay. That could be the last one for a while, since it looks like the supply is drying up, for the time being anyway. He looks very Thundercats reminiscent, especially the red orb on the sword.



Read more!

"Catfight."

Has either Bronze Tiger or Catman shown up in DC's new 52 yet? I could look it up, but I doubt Catman is still Deadshot's hetero lifemate; like they were in Secret Six. As long as Catman isn't rolled back to being Catwoman's stalker again, he should count himself lucky.

Have a good weekend!

Read more!

"Catdate."

More of this next week...
Read more!

Short ones this week...

...since I'm beat from setting up the year-end post.


Read more!

"The End" Week: Secret Six #36!

Another recent finish: Secret Six #36, "Caution to the Wind, part 2: Blood Honor" Written by Gail Simone, art by Jim Calafiore. After a night with his new girlfriend, Bane realizes if he can be swayed by emotion, so can the Bat. With the other seven members of the Secret Six, he plans on attacking Red Robin, Batgirl, Catwoman, and Huntress. Catman vetoes Huntress, so Bane subs in Azrael: they will hurt Batman, by hurting them.

Unfortunately, their source, the Penguin rats them out, and it's Butch-and-Sundance time for the team, as they realize they might not want to hurt innocents, but they are the bad guys. The fact that the Secret Six has earned more respect plays against them as more and more heroes show up: a Green Lantern, two Batmen, Superman and his family, and more. Bane offers the Six a chance "to go out like gods" by dosing up on his Venom. They go out fighting, although Huntress is aware enough to feel like a jerk about it.

Although he would miss them, the Six's defeat was part of Bane's plan: either they would win (unlikely) or he would be free of them, of caring, of emotion making him weak. This is the downside of Bane: Chuck Dixon, Scott Beatty, and now Simone all tried to move the character forward from "I break you" only to have him put right back. There's a lot that could be done with the character, but the powers-that-be seem to just want the steroid-monster Bat-villain.

Hetero-lifemates Catman and Deadshot were the breakout characters for the Secret Six, so it's a little disappointing they aren't the ones to wreck their gig. Still, Simone does her usual sharp job on the script, and Calafiore isn't flashy, but he does the job even when the script calls for forty-plus characters. I didn't read it every month, but I think the Secret Six will be missed for a while.

Read more!

"Doom Secret."

OAFE.net totally beat me to this one, but when I found Catman the other day, I thought the Secret Six is in the same boat as the Doom Patrol. Both comics had a crossover together recently, have recently been cancelled, and as far as action figures go, are never going to get complete teams made. (OAFE's blog also has a post on the various lineups of the Secret Six, as well as a rundown of which members have figures!)

The Bane here is the somewhat undersized DC Super Heroes version; the Collect-and-Connect one would be nice, but I bought the figures I wanted from that series on eBay, sans parts. (The Creeper and Jonah Hex, if you're wondering!)

Even though there's been a pretty good-sized outpouring of love for the outgoing book, I only read Secret Six a couple of times myself. In fact, I was a little disappointed in #28, where two Secret Six teams go at it in Skartaris; since with all that going on, Gail Simone didn't use Warlord characters Shakira and Machiste to the fullest...

Read more!

Dues. Paying the dues...

Before finally hitting it big with the Secret Six, Catman went through a long stretch as a joke, an embarassment. He was made to look like a jackass in Green Arrow and it looked like angry French gorilla Monsieur Mallah was going to kill him; but that would go on Catman's highlight reel before today's page: from Green Lantern 80-Page Giant #1, "Whatever Happened to G'Nort?" Written by Ty Templeton, pencils by John Lowe, inks by John Lowe.

This isn't a red-letter day for G'Nort, either: after Emerald Twilight, power rings stopped working, and G'Nort was not only stuck on earth, homeless and broke, but he was also losing control of his impulses and acting like a big, doofy dog. Chasing cars, sleeping in alleys, sniffing butts...

That doesn't make a helluva lot of sense, since G'Nort was an alien...although, maybe his whole race was like that? Or maybe earth's atmosphere and conditions affected his species? Or maybe G'Nort was just a bit off.

Oddly, G'Nort's defeated Catman and Black Hand, before either got big.


Read more!