This isn't a horror comic either; any horror in this series was probably unintentional and after the fact.

On the Futurama episode "Where No Fan Has Gone Before" Fry tries to remind Leonard Nimoy of Star Trek, describing it as "You know--1966? Seventy-nine episodes? About thirty good ones?" Which is kind of how I've always felt about the series Excalibur, a book I love to death, even if it was like 127 or so issues, maybe 30 good ones? OK, they had more good issues than that, but when it was bad; it was usually just staggeringly mediocre, like it didn't swing hard enough to be bad. Like today's book? Let's see! From 1994, Excalibur #77, "Lowest Common Denominator" (Deep breath here.) Plot by Scott Lobdell and Richard Ashford, script by Chris Cooper, pencils by Robert E. Brown and Ken Lashley, inks by Randy Elliott, Keith Champagne, Don Hudson, and Jason Gorder.

There's a few upsides to this issue: we start with a rare look at Nightcrawler's childhood, where he's a happy-go-lucky, adventurous scamp. Who immediately gets his face rubbed in the dirt, as his best friend Christian tells him they can't be friends anymore, since his dad beat the hell out of him for hanging out with that "gypsy freak." Crying, Kurt tries to make a deal with God (not like that--well, maybe) to try not to be like the devil, if he could have his friend back. His adoptive mom, Margali Szardo's, picks him up again, telling him "love always lasts longer than hate."

Back in the present, Kurt had returned to Germany, at the request of his adopted sister/girlfriend Amanda, to rescue Margali; who was caught up in race riots stirred up by D'spayre. Sure, because there's never racial tension in Germany...D'spayre briefly lets Kurt see him, since he's got all the cards: Margali got her magic power from the Winding Way, which seemed to have terrifying lows, dizzying highs, creamy middles--no, D'spayre's point is, Margali was on top of her game in X-Men Annual #4, now she was too weak to fight him. Kurt then has a brief consult with Amanda, who can't help against D'spayre without getting zapped like her mom, but she would try to tamp down the riots...how exactly? Amanda's magic powers were pretty vague; and I don't recall her as being as blonde as she is today. (I thought she was more reddish-blonde?)

After a few subplot pages with the robot Zero, Nightcrawler catches up to D'spayre in the catacombs, and throws down with a sword against him. D'spayre grabs him, and tries to break him with his own bad memories of his friend Christian. Which fails, since there was a happy twist: grown-up, Christian had reconciled with Kurt, introducing his old friend to his young son. Kurt stabs D'spayre through the heart, which of course doesn't kill him, but drives him off: he ran out of juice, because Amanda had stopped the riots that were feeding him. Somehow. (Yeah, the riots are pretty much just dropped.) D'spayre is not especially well used here; this could've been the Hate Monger, Psycho-Man, just about anybody. Margali also gets a moment with Kurt: she had been worried he would be mad she had hidden his heritage with Mystique, but Kurt is more about forgiveness than most, and embraces the only mom he had ever really known. Which would probably be a high point to go out on, but no, there's two more Zero/Douglock subplot pages. (Aside: I was going to say, I can't believe I have a goddamn Zero action figure, but yes I can. There's so much re-use in that set.) 

Margali is kind and supportive and just seems like a good mom here: don't get used to it! That's about the last time we'll see that out of her. She'd pretty much go full villain in Ellis's run, which features some creepy, creepy bits; some on-panel, some in captions, some described just enough that if you put it together you'll be appalled. Short answer: there's a couple versions or timelines where she took her daughter's place, and considering Amanda and Kurt's relationship...yeah. Margali would also be involved when Amanda was killed/disappeared/written out in Nightcrawler #4, then turned Kurt into a monster in Legion of X so she could pull the "Hopesword" out of him. (That makes at least twice Kurt had a magic sword he could pull out of himself! Two nickels, yeah, but weird.) I was kind of thinking editorial over-corrected and made Margali bad to make Mystique (and/or Destiny) seem good; but no, that had been going for a while.

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The real spiral here is probably the sales numbers.

I'm still waiting for my new Marvel Legends Spiral to ship: it's by all accounts, a pretty well done figure. Particularly since her old one wasn't that great; although I think I probably still have it in the garage. Still, it seemed like a good excuse to pull this one from the quarter bins: from 1997, Excalibur #109, "Dragon Moon Rising" Written by Ben Raab, pencils by Salvador Larroca, inks by Scott Koblish.

Post-Onslaught, Excalibur was still thinking about how to fill the void left by all the heroes that got shipped over to Image, but they aren't off to a great start as Nightcrawler blows up Cerebro while trying to repair it. (Do most failed computer repairs explode like that? They damn well do in X-Men comics!) Kurt is also fretting about how to get Moira MacTaggert's mind off her troubles: namely, that she still hadn't found a cure for the Legacy Virus she had also contracted. Kurt's teammates, meanwhile, are themselves fretting since his girlfriend and their occasional teammate Amanda Sefton seemed to have flaked out and bailed. But, enough of that, as Spiral appears! She's apparently captured Meggan, so Kurt clashes swords with her, but with only three swords to her four, gets punched out. Pete Wisdom distracts Spiral, so Kitty can grab her and phase her through the floor, then checks on Meggan, who claims to see an invisible man with a warning about Brian, and takes off. While everyone gives chase to Spiral, in Hong Kong, the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn examine the captive Brian Braddock. I forget if he was Captain Britain again at this point, or still going by...ugh...Britanic. Seriously, that's gotta be a placeholder name that made it to the final. Brian tries to make a showing of it, since he doesn't know what happened to Meggan, but he's lost his can-do attitude, since he knew he was losing power by not being in Britain.

Also placeholders: the Dragons. I feel like everybody vaguely remembers them from a couple Joe Madureira issues of Uncanny, and Psylocke had a red kinda mark over her eye afterwards? Wolverine got a ninja Wolvie action figure outta the deal? Well, the Dragons themselves have made five appearances, total, three of which were this run in Excalibur! I know they have names but don't recall them or care to look, but one of them looks like kung-fu Tharg. Also, the pages set in Hong Kong have borders in the style of a Chinese restaurant's menu circa 30 years ago.

I actually had to look if my copy was missing pages, since the scene shifts back from Hong Kong to Spiral vs. Wolfsbane, but wasn't she fighting Kitty? Yeah, there are pages out of order. The whole comic actually reads kind of choppy anyway if you get a copy; in the middle of the book there's a big three-page ad for Howard Mackie and John Romita Jr.'s run on Peter Parker, Spider-Man. Kurt manages to get the upper hand on Spiral, who then explains she no longer works for Mojo, and was there because she needed their help to save herself: she had run into the Dragons in her extradimensional Wildways, and had been given the same red brand Psylocke had. She was trying to get out from under them, and didn't want them to get Brian's power. Kitty and Colossus know they can't trust Spiral, but Meggan begs them to let her try, since she and Brian were about to be--married! A long time coming. With some cheesy lines, Kurt agrees to the mission, and the team is teleported to Hong Kong... 

Ugh. Following Warren Ellis would be a tough go for anyone, but Ben Raab wrote several books at Marvel about that time and I didn't like any of them; like the last issue of Spider-Man 2099. (In his defense; he co-wrote that one after regular writer Peter David quit, so he could've been on the spot there.) He's done more work for TV in recent years. Larroca had one more issue on Excalibur, and then the book gets really hit-or-miss on the art for a little over another year, when Excalibur would be cancelled with #125, and Kurt, Kitty, and Piotr would be rolled back into the X-Men. Phooey.

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I like her monitors; like she's watching the Spirograph channel.

We mentioned this back when we looked at Quasar #11, but here we've got another Excalibur guest-spot. From 1992, Dark Angel #6, "Bad Blood" Written by Simon Furman, 'art starts' by Gary Frank, finishes by Andy Lanning.

This was a Marvel UK book, and not one I had read before this guest-spot; although I do think I read this at the time and before Dark Angel's guested in Excalibur #67. (That was Alan Davis's last issue on the book, and also features a surprisingly hopeful coda to the Days of Futures Past future, albeit after a lot of Marvel UK characters are brutally murdered...) Dark Angel (formerly Hell's Angel) was on a fetch-quest to recover the fragments of her father's soul, even though he was no innocent: he had been part of mysterious conspirary corporation MyS-Tech, plotting to weasel out of a pact with Mephisto and getting his soul blown apart for his trouble. I kind of dig her look, though; but of course I would, it's very 90's. Feel like the design could've used another pass or two though; it looks like it might be a pain to draw repeatedly. This month, "something's wandering the moors chewing up civilians," as Captain Britain somewhat insensitively puts it, and both Excalibur and Dark Angel are on the case.

As Dark Angel fights the monster, Nightcrawler leaps in to help, assuming "at great personal risk" the pretty woman was the good guy. (It feels like Kurt shouldn't make that assumption, but she was pretty...) Meggan has an empathic reaction, the monster seeming to have "a child's voice," and Dark Angel realizes the monster is her brother, somehow changed by her father! The scene then switches, somewhat abruptly, to where MyS-Tech's executive board is seemingly fighting through dead heroes (Guardian, Thunderbird, the Torpedo, and Miss America!) to get her dad's soul fragment, but one executive seemingly lets her get there first. (Said executive has a very British face: I suspect she's based on someone real, but couldn't say who!) Dark Angel is furious with her father, but won't pass judgment on him; freeing his soul but hoping he gets what's coming to him.

There wasn't really much reason for Excalibur to be here, but I guess there was little reason why not, either. Dark Angel would run until #16, which appears to have Death's Head II in a prominent role, since he was the closest thing to a breakout star Marvel UK had, but the whole Marvel UK subline was done by 1994. Guest-spots like this notwithstanding, Marvel's titles were somewhat 'siloed' at the time, with larger interactions limited: it might have made sense for Ghost Rider to crossover, with the Mephisto angle here. (Back in the 70's or 80's, if this had been cancelled, Dark Angel probably would've turned up inside of six months in Marvel Two-in-One or Team-Up.)

The back-up feature, "Power Unconfined!" perhaps explains the clunkier parts of Dark Angel's costume, as she executes a training program from her mysterious Guide: the black portion of her costume is the "fabric of the universe," granting immense cosmic power, while the armor serves as a limiter. Could she do more without it? Maybe, if she wanted to be overwhelmed by information and wreck the timeline. So, armor for a reason, lesson learned. (Story by Bernie Jaye and Paul Neary, pencils by Kev Hopgood, inks by Sean Hardy.) Read more!

This one checks off two boxes! From 1990, Quasar #11, "By the Time I get to Phoenix" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencils by Mike Manley, inks by Fred Fredricks. 

I've never been a podcast listener, but I have recently enjoyed the Oh Gosh, Oh Golly, Oh Wow! Podcast, where they're trying to read an issue of Excalibur every week, for over 126 weeks. It's a more academic look at the books, and a good listen; although I worry they are in for some tough weeks in there later...And, since Quasar is finally getting a Marvel Legend this summer, we'll probably hit more issues of his book between now and then. 

Quasar's mentor Eon had warned him there was a massive threat to the entire universe coming (but when isn't one?) and here he's chasing a pair of underwater aliens. I think it's Marrina and the Plodex, but Quasar doesn't even get close enough to get a look at them; and he can't match their speed underwater without causing environmental damage. (It was the same for him in earth's atmosphere; Quasar could travel fast, but was limited by not wanting to create massive sonic boom damage, burn off the atmosphere, what have you.) He has to back-burner the underwater aliens, figuring they probably weren't a "cosmic" level threat; but then encounters some one else speeding on the surface of the ocean. With it outracing him, Quasar tags it with a light-construct parachute, bringing it to a skidding halt, and he finds what appears to be a costumed runner face down in the ocean when he gets there. Worried over accidentally injuring the runner, Quasar rushes him to the Avengers' West Coast base for treatment.

Meanwhile, in England, four-fifths of Excalibur had returned from their "Cross-Time Caper," Kitty was still missing. (They don't realize it, but I think Kitty had got back home before they did! Maybe she could've left a note...) While the rest of the team seems to be relaxing regardless, Rachel is still pretty bent out of shape about it, which may leave her open to suddenly being possessed by one of Captain Britain's old foes! Then, sort of a weird use of time here: Quasar drops off the injured runner, who Wonder Man recognizes as the Eternal Makkari. Quas then has to get to New York to make an appearance at work, which takes him an hour to cross the country...I still feel like he could've done that faster without blowing a hole in the ozone or whatever, but okay. At Four Freedoms Plaza in his civilian identity, Wendell walks into a weird scene: an unusual job applicant, a Ms. H.D. Steckley. (The "H.D." is a clue!) Wendell tries to turn her away, since his new security firm didn't have enough clients; H.D. says she will bring in five new clients within a week. He figures that's impossible, but agrees. Wendell then checks in with Eon, which was always a weird looking thing; and while tracking extraterrestial activity on the globe they see the Phoenix force flare up. Could this be the big threat...?

So, how much time has passed since we last saw Rachel? In England, over a sheep field, Phoenix tries and fails to fight off the mental control. Then, the controlled Rachel opens a portal to Otherworld, releasing Modred the Mystic! Modred wasn't always a villain...enh, maybe 70% of the time, but today he is, pissed at getting banished by Captains Britain and America in Captain America #306. When Quasar arrives, Modred immediately sics Phoenix on him. Quasar is able to defend himself against the Phoenix-force, which is pretty impressive; then completely vulnerable to Modred's "magicks," as he's trapped by a spell Doctor Strange made classic, the Crimson Bands of Cytorrak! Modred leaves Quasar to be crushed by them, as he had to free his master Chthon and wage war on Merlin. Busy day. With the squeeze on, Quasar calls his lifeline, but while Eon may be largely omnipotent, he doesn't necessarily have the answers off the top of his weird-shaped head, and tells Quasar he'll get back to him. Blinded by the bands over his eyes, Quasar remembered that iron disrupted magic, and was going to try and magnetize some over to him before he was crushed, when he's rescued by Captain Britain. After a quick intro to Excalibur, they set off after Modred.

Quasar quantum-bands up a little ship to carry Excalibur, faster than they could've flown, and catches up to Modred and Rachel, as Eon finally calls him back! Quasar wraps up Modred in his own version of the Crimson Bands, then has to create a funnel to keep Rachel's energy blast off of him, and here we see him hit a limit, unable to maintain focus on three "quantum-feats" simultaneously. His ship dissolves, dumping Excalibur into the ocean. Modred breaks his bonds, then Quasar redirects the funneled energy into him, until Modred screams for Rachel to stop. Quasar traps him in a quantum bubble, at least for the moment, and Nightcrawler and Widget step up to the plate: Kurt teleports up, as Widget opens a dimensional portal somewhere, and Kurt shoves him through it. That kind of feels like dumping your problem on somebody else, unless Widget somehow knew Modred was going somewhere 'safe.' And Widget was very rarely (if ever) that functional: he wasn't like a garage door opener, getting him to do anything was usually longer and more involved, but we only have a page left, so...

With Rachel back to normal, Quasar takes Excalibur home, with Eon still trying to contact him about magic. Still, this was a kick in the teeth to Quasar's confidence, as he's left convinced Eon made a bad choice for protector of the universe. Hey, we all have bad days, man. 

While Quasar's plots keep advancing here, this is pretty inconsequential for Excalibur: Rachel isn't upset about being mind-controlled later, this isn't even brought up in their book. Still, it's probably my favorite of the fistful of guest-spots they made around then: couple issues of Thor this same year, 1991's Sensational She-Hulk #26, 1992's Spider-Man #25 and Dark Angel #6. You'd have thought they would've shown up in more of the Marvel UK books there...

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"Arno."

Sure, Iron Man 2020's pretty good, and well-timed, but it'd be nice to have Excalibur-era Rachel, Kitty, and Meggan, wouldn't it? Maybe a little Widget pack-in? I am of course biased, as if I could I would pitch Cross-Time Caper tie-ins every big event Marvel did.

The only complaint I have for Arno is that I had pre-ordered one but found it in the stores first. The boot-jet flames may be a little fiddley, but they aren't something I would use all the time. I noticed the repulsor-ray hands seem to have lost a hinge joint? Not hugely noticeable. I re-read Amazing Spider-Man Annual #20 the other day, and didn't recognize the credited writers Fred Schiller or Ken McDonald: they were both Christopher Priest! And it's a dark story...but I also think it's set in 2015! We had 2020's Death's Head appearance, though. I'm trying to remember if he made a cameo in Excalibur, though...not that I've noticed yet? And versions of Iron Man show up more than once in Cross-Time Caper.
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I had looked it up the other day, but "the Cross-Time Caper" in Excalibur was like 30 years ago! And today's book a mere twelve or so: Clandestine #3, story and pencils by Alan Davis, inks by Mark Farmer.

This issue's cover is a homage to Davis's own Excalibur #1; which hasn't been homaged as many times as Maguire's Justice League #1, but it's had a few! And this was midway through their last (to date) limited series but ties back into the Cross-Time Caper era, as a misadventure involving a role-play date (best left alone!) leads to Dominic thrown through a dimensional doorway and landing on Excalibur's train! Their Marvel-misunderstanding scuffle doesn't last long; partially because Excalibur is pretty polite for a super-team, but they also have the best telepath, Rachel. (Jean < Emma < Rachel < Alan Davis's Rachel. I will brook no discussion on this topic.)
Landing on yet another alternate reality, Kitty quizzes Dom, and doesn't think he's from their earth, since he was from 2008. Kitty doesn't say what year she was from, but it "definitely" wasn't 2008. But after Kurt saves some ungrateful slaves and Rachel punches out some remote-controlled red dinosaurs, an alien ship knocks them out and takes some of them! Ooh, I bought this random issue out of a quarter bin to blog, and have the whole series elsewhere, but are they on Killraven's earth?

Also this issue: the main plot involving the Clan Destine losing control of their powers continues. When their dad Adam disappears, the youngest of the family, masked kids Rory and Pandora; try to get their older siblings Kay Cera and Sam from a goth wedding. Goth wedding? It may actually have vampires!

I took a second to look up the sales numbers and...man, this issue sold worse than Simon Dark? Well, I haven't read that, maybe it was swell--oh, c'mon, Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter sold better? I wish I could sit comics in the corner to make it think about what it's done, since as always, Alan Davis draws the living hell out of this.
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I went to Seattle a couple weeks back, and hit a ton of comic shops; all of which were very nice, but didn't have the big bins of quarter books that I had my black little heart set on. I did get a pretty good stack of trades on the cheap, sure, but they don't fit in the scanner; and neither does one of the few cheap singles I found: from 1991, Excalibur: Air Apparent, written by Scott Lobdell, with art by Ron Lim, Dwayne Turner, Brian Stelfreeze, Jackson Guice, Rick Leonardi, Erik Larsen, and James Fry; inks by Al Gordon, Karl Story, Klaus Janson, Tom Palmer, Joe Rubinstein, Erik Larsen, and Don Hudson. And a Walt Simonson cover!

That's a pretty good roster of artists!...for a completely throwaway story. We've seen some specials that I thought were structured to be serials in Marvel Comics Presents, but this particular one was set up with seven-page chapters; MCP would've been eight. So this seems to have been meant to be like this. Huh. Lobdell wrote another one, 1992's Excalibur: XX Crossing, which was a newsstand book, not a prestige format like Air Apparent, but with a similar split-the-team set-up.

Anyway, from a S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, the Weird Happenings Organization's Brigadier Stewart (wow, I knew that was a Dr. Who homage, but it's a double one!) gives Excalibur a mission: stop a mad scientist, who among other things, had a Life Model Decoy with a nuke in it running around, and had salvaged a piece of the destroyed Air-Walker android to make a duplicate one. The team splits up to stop various threats, and while Nightcrawler shoots up the LMD with an M-60, and Kitty fights an Alien-styled robot over lava; my favorite is actually Meggan vs. Coldblood! I kinda like him as the Player-2 version of Deathlok, only he's suave and smooth while poor Deathlok is more coarse. Coldblood's like the James Bond of Marvel cyborgs...I'd mention I would like a Coldblood Marvel Legend, but poor Meggan hasn't even got one yet.

Anyway, not an essential book, but fun enough. Especially since you could probably find a copy for cheaper than the $4.95 cover now.
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I hadn't planned on all annuals this week, but here we are.

Today's book falls smack dab in the middle of a plotline I vaguely recall the start and the end of, but just barely. Still, let's check out from 2009, Captain Britain and MI13 Annual #1, "The Harrowing of Hell" Written by Paul Cornell, pencils by Mike Collins, inks by Livesay.

Meggan had been lost while trying to save the 616-universe during House of M, and ended up trapped in hell. That would've been confusing in and of itself, but it seemed odd she wasn't in more pain in hell; which leads to a meeting with the lords of Hell, which includes Dormammu, Mephisto, and Hela. (Apparently Ahpuch of the Mayans had lost his seat at the big table.) Dormammu tricks her into using her empathic powers to be judged by hell, and takes a misshapen, monstrous form. Still, they've managed to piss her off, which gives Meggan a much needed focus.

Rallying an army behind her, Meggan has another meeting, this time with Pluto; who wanted in on the lords of Hell, and gives her the gift of a new form not unlike her usual self. I'm not sure this was how it always worked, but in hell, her empathic abilities were perfect: her armies, and even the opposing armies, would feel what she felt; a righteous anger towards the lords. But she still felt hope too, which her armies thus felt as well, possibly for their first time. In gratitude, they name Meggan "Gloriana," and always wanting a super-hero name, she takes it.

Meggan then leaves instructions for her army, to set up a new territory called Elysium (and give Pluto his due) then she begins her quest to find a way out of hell. Which she does, eventually finding what appears to be moonlight streaming in, a reminder of her early, werewolf-inspired days. But it's not just moonlight, it's a "fellow gypsy..."
Also this issue: a cricket match, in "British Magic" Written by Paul Cornell, art by Adrian Alphona. Brian Braddock, Captain Britain once again, is a bit distracted during the game; thinking of Meggan. But he remembers what she would've wanted for him in the end. And hey, an Excalibur era flashback with Kurt and Meggan playing video games!

I didn't read this title when it was new; and I'm not positive why not. I really liked Cornell's earlier Wisdom. Maybe I was just broke at the time...
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This is the last chapter of the crossover, but you didn't have to read the whole thing anyway...

So I've mentioned the Phalanx a couple times on the blog, as Marvel's knockoff of the Borg; but there was more to them than that. Um...er...gimme a minute. From 1994, Excalibur #82, "Life Signs Part Three: The Light of a Tainted Dawn" Plot by Scott Lobdell, script by Todd Dezago, pencils by Ken Lashley and Steve Epting, inks by Philip Moy, W. C. Carani, John Floyd, Harry Candelario, and John Livesay. I have the shiny cover one sitting next to me, although it's just a strip of shiny that's supposed to look like circuitry, for an extra buck!

This was the final chapter of "The Phalanx Covenant" crossover, or one of them: it was split into three plotlines. You could read the whole thing, or follow Banshee and the kids who would become Generation X; Cyclops, Wolverine, and Jean Grey trying to rescue the captured X-Men; or the rest. X-Factor, X-Force, and Excalibur were trying to stop the Phalanx from building a spire that would...do something. I had thought the Phalanx were just straight aliens, but reading up on them I think these batch included humans who used Technarch tech (like the New Mutants' Warlock) in an attempt to kill mutants, that went a bit south on them. It was part of that X-Factor storyline that retconned Warren's friend Cameron Hodge into a villain, to try to backfill why the original X-Men would've thought it was a good idea to pose as mutant hunters...

Forge becomes a key part of the Phalanx's plan, since their leader, the hooded and weird Shinar, co-opts his mutant power of making stuff: the Phalanx tech has Forge virtually hypnotized to play with it. Meanwhile, Nightcrawler leads a strike team against the spire, since he reasons the "logical and rational" Phalanx wouldn't be able to cope with an illogical and surprising attack. As Douglock tries to sacrifice himself to save Cannonball and Wolfsbane, Kurt gets to Forge, and he manages to resist and not fix the Phalanx's endgame.

While it's neat to see Kurt leading the conclusion of a crossover like this...it's not great. Lashley and Epting have done tons better work than this, and the whole crossover feels like diminishing returns from Marvel chasing that Age of Apocalypse high--no, I take that back: this pre-dated AoA by a year or so! Huh. I should've known that, since Generation X was part of AoA, and it featured Blink, who died during this crossover.

So far this week I think this is the third book with a fancy 90's cover, I think I might be able to find one more...
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"Just add aliens" isn't the worst plotting advice ever, I guess...

My girlfriend and I watch Falling Skies together--in fact, it's one of the few shows we do watch together. But as of yet, we haven't watched the third season finale that aired a week or two back, for reasons that are somewhat unclear to me. "Once we watch it, it's over!" was one answer. The other being, she may be worried that Falling Skies season finales have traditionally been a little weak. The first year ends with the new alien overlords revealed, and Noah Wyle's character surrenders to them...the why of the latter I don't recall, except that they needed a cliffhanger to go out on. Year two, new aliens show up, and they turn out to be fighting the earlier alien overlords. Her money seems to be on more aliens showing up, quite possibly out of nowhere in particular. Just like in today's book!

From 1992, Excalibur #47, "Come One and All to the Ugly Bug-Eyed Monster Ball" Story and art by Alan Davis, inks by Mark Farmer. Davis is more well known as an artist, but is not too shabby a writer, either: his first eight issues writing and drawing Excalibur wrapped a ton of loose ends and red herrings (his own and other writers) from the entire run of the book to date.

More and more mysterious occurrences and alien arrivals keep piling up in the basement of the team's lighthouse, opening this issue with the newly arrived Cerise fighting Nightcrawler's N-Men. (The N-Men are the aliens formerly known as the Technet, an amusingly slapstick batch of mercenaries currently exiled on earth and trained by Nightcrawler to keep them out of trouble.) After their Marvel-misunderstanding rumble wraps up, yet another team of aliens arrive, to offer the N-Men a contract, and after some negotiation they accept. A selling point in that negotiation may have been that the aliens' psychic member has an alarming prediction:

Also this issue: on Otherworld, Captain Britain gets a recap of most of the series to date, along with the Excalibur special that didn't really add up in continuity. Love this run: just read the first eight again the other day, and wish I'd the time for the rest.

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My cup doesn't have a Batman logo, but is the size of a small bucket...

Longtime readers may know I'm a coffee drinker. Not so much a connoisseur, since I will drink just about whatever coffee convenient, either black or with tabasco or whatever's handy. And I have to drink a pot a day, or my head will implode. Which it did Monday, when my coffee pot at work burned out and I couldn't have a cup all morning. First I was sluggish and crabby, then it was like a hangover, then like...some unpleasant third thing that I can't think of since my skull hurts. Think "Scanners."

Since I drink a pot over the course of my shift, I tend to go through coffee makers the way other people go through shoes. Usually, the burner gives out, since apparently they aren't designed to be on for six hours a stretch. Bastards! It always strikes me as wasteful, throwing out a coffee maker, since if I had a soldering iron, some rudimentary electrical knowledge, and a wanton disregard for fire safety, I could probably get it going again. So, now I'm going to try something new: my sister gave me a carafe-thing a Christmas or two ago, and what I'll do is make the coffee and pour it in that. And then maybe have to race to chug it down before it gets cold. A friend at work got me a Green Lantern coffee cup that's surprisingly large, and makes for quicker drinking; but thus has a tendency to get too cool if left be: I had a cup the other day that somewhat implausibly bucked the laws of thermodynamics and was far colder than room temperature.

Panels from 1990's Excalibur #29, "Dream a Little Dream" Written by Michael Higgins (with a plot assist from Seth Kruchkow) pencils by Chris Wozniak, inks by Josef Rubinstein. It's a crossover with Power Pack, except their encounter with Nightmare is written off as just a dream. Still, more interesting than reading about my coffee drinking habits...hey!
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"The End" Week: Excalibur #125!

Ah, it wouldn't be "The End" week, if I didn't have a book with Nightcrawler. Or one I actively hated. From 1998, Excalibur #125, "Tying the Knot" Written by Ben Raab, pencils by Dale Eaglesham, inks by Scott Hanna.

The nicest thing I could say about Ben Raab is that he wasn't Chuck Austen. Close, though. He took over Excalibur after Warren Ellis, and was probably editorially mandated to roll back everything. It's not as bad as it could be; but bland and forgettable. This issue, Captain Britain marries Meggan; a hungover Douglock annoys Wolfsbane; and Nightcrawler, Colossus, and Kitty Pryde leave Excalibur to return to the X-Men. (To this day, I don't know if Excalibur's cancellation was due to sales, or re-consolidating the X-brand.)

The worst part about this issue, is catching up with dropped plotlines characters that hadn't been seen in the book for whatever reason, usually a change of writers. Micromax, Feron, Kylun, Cerise, all of whom are varying degrees of unsuccessful and/or pissed about falling off the team. Which isn't their fault, or Excalibur's, but probably the writers or the editors, I guess.

Excalibur was a book I was always glad to have, even though it's ratio of good/crap may not have been great. Claremont's issues were all pretty solid, any issue with Alan Davis writing or drawing were great, and Warren Ellis's were my favorite. The rest were spotty, and this one wasn't really a winner either.

More "The End" posts over the weekend! I plan on watching a lot of football Sunday, so that may mean even more than I have now, unless the Cowboys tank it and I spend the evening swearing at the TV...

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I'm sure Nightcrawler is upside-down in his passport photo...

Both Bleeding Cool and Robot 6 pointed out Neil Rivas's Illegal Superheroes posters; where characters such as Superman, Optimus Prime, the ThunderCats, and Thor are all accused of being illegal immigrants with no legal right to be in the country.

Our pal Nightcrawler joins their company, since he's a German citizen, although a commenter points out the dead don't have an immigration status, which is a bit of a downer. (If he returns to life in the United States' borders, would he then be an American citizen?) I can't recall if it's implied or outright said in the old Claremont days, if Professor X took the time to set up ID's and Visas and whatnot for the new X-Men. And even then, would Nightcrawler get any? It was usually more likely he would be chased with torches and pitchforks than asked for his driver's license.

Oddly, this actually was a plot point once, but not where you might expect: Kurt is caught by immigration...in England, in the pages of Excalibur #62, "Of Birth, Death And The Confused, Painful Bit In Between" Written and pencilled by Alan Davis, inks and pencils by Mark Farmer.

The covert British agency called the R.C.X. has absorbed both F.I.6 and the Weird Happenings Organization, kidnapped Alistaire Stuart, and has several hundred super-powered operatives. Usually, they wouldn't have much use for the Excalibur team, but some of the operatives' powers have been deteriorating, sometimes fatally. With Stuart as bait, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, and Cerise are lured into a trap and captured...except Nightcrawler was playing possum. While freeing his friends, the creatures called the Serpents are accidentally released; vicious, deformed monsters that might just be carnivorous.

His powers blocked, Nightcrawler is forced to fight to save Kitty and Cerise; and an already-agitated Kurt stomps the Serpents, beating enough of them to stare down the rest. But, then confronted by "Peter," the head of the R.C.X., Excalibur is accused of trespassing, and all three present members of being illegal aliens.

Kurt looks pretty dumbfounded there, so I kinda think no one ever asked him for his papers before. I don't think Britain was as hostile towards mutants as America at the time, but it is a bit of a double-standard to hound them as monsters, then hound them for documents. Harsh, but a great issue.
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Why shouldn't Nightcrawler stab people? The rest of the X-Men get to!

Only two scans from this issue today: it's a personal favorite, and there was the temptation to scan half the book. Excalibur #100, "London's Burning" Written by Warren Ellis, pencils by Casey Jones, Randy Green, and Rob Haynes; inks by Tom Simmons, Jason Martin, Rick Ketchum, and Rob Haynes.

As you can tell from the first scan there, it's a very Ellis book from the dialog alone; but I'm more than all right with it: some of my favorite characters, taking the lead, and acting like they have some sense? About time! And even though this issue was part of the Onslaught crossover, it doesn't take over the main plotline either.

(The crossover scenes do seem like something the editors gave to Ellis and he ran with that ball: the X-Men arrive on Moira MacTaggert's Muir Island, to tell her Professor Xavier has become part of the monster Onslaught. On the ropes, the X-Men are there for a secret room Xavier left. When Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Moira investigate the Xavier Protocols are unlocked: in case he went bad, the Professor left notes and equipment on how to kill him. Unfortunately, he also left notes on how to kill several of the other X-Men; based on which ones showed for the information...)


Meanwhile, Excalibur has their own problems: the London Hellfire Club, a rogue group of British intelligence called Black Air, and their attempt to use Douglock the cyborg to control a demon imprisoned under the city. Evil mutant time-travelers, horrible biting bullets, the heel turn of Kurt's adopted mom Margali; a ton of plotlines Ellis had been building since he started in Excalibur #83 come due here.

Sadly, it couldn't last: Ellis would finish with the book on #103, and eventually Nightcrawler, Colossus, Shadowcat, and even Wolfsbane would be sent back to the United States...and rolled back from the professionals seen here to backups for Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, etc.

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