Everyone probably has a Simpsons reference or two that they love but are convinced no one else gets, and one of mine is from "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken", when the pro baseball players demoted to the minors gleefully split pre-game after passing their urine tests. For some reason (presumably, defective brain wiring) I was associating that with today's book; like if you fail a piss test or blow off the anti-sexual harassment training, you have to serve time on the Great Lakes Avengers #1, "Same Old, Same Old Great Lakes Avengers" Written by Zac Gorman, art by Will Robson, color art by Tamra Bonvillain. There were a few covers to this one from 2016, but the one with them in a diner may have influenced me recently!

This is the 'getting the band back together' issue: I hadn't read their 2005 mini-series, which featured the second appearance of Squirrel Girl. She went on to bigger and better things--she's having dinner with the current Avengers and misses the GLA's call--and these guys, well...Still, this opens with another character I wouldn't have expected: Connie Ferrari, lawyer and former love interest to Captain America from Dan Jurgens's run. It's implied she is still kicking herself for not landing that fish; but today she's got a job to do. After various ups-and-downs for both Tony Stark and the Avengers, through sheer luck, Dr. Val Ventura, a.k.a. Flatman, is now the legal owner of the Avengers name because he applied for a trademark way back when. (Probably back in Byrne's Avengers West Coast; Flatman has to ask "Who was president then?") Ferrari is authorized to offer the proverbial dump truck full of cash, but Flatman holds out for briefcase number two: permanent reinstatement of the Great Lakes Avengers!

That might be the easy part, since now Flatman has to convince his old teammates--the ones that survived, at any rate--to get back on board. Big Bertha's breakup with Mr. Immortal is complicating things, and Doorman has been resurrected as "an angel of death" "not doing a great job." While Mr. I is so far a no-show, since he's apparently buried himself, the rest head for their new headquarters in Detroit. Which seems to already have super-villains in the neighborhood...

I don't know that this was selling like hot cakes, but it ran into Secret Empire, an Avengers event with negative fun, and had to go with issue #7. Still, this probably works in small doses, anyway.
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"Celebrate."

Look, Typhoid with a knife is just scary, even if she's just playing. Maybe especially if she's just playing.

The full-mask bit is cribbed from a Keith Giffen "Five Years Later" Legion of Super-Heroes, in which Universo realizes his allies in the Dark Circle might not be rocket scientists, as one accepts the offer of a drink while wearing a full mask. Universo was pretty sharp, so he's probably used to being the smartest in the room, but he still seemed disappointed.
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I wish I could attribute the delay to (waves hands in general direction of the world) but...

...I may have just forgot! Back in May 2015, I put a box of crap together as a time capsule, marked "Do Not Open until May 2020!" Maybe five years wasn't long enough, but let's take a look.

And, if you can trust Amazon, we're off to a good start!

Ding-ding-ding! I think I have one of those NECA Superman figures still in package, too. Of course, those prices are entirely contingent on finding somebody willing to pay that. (I'm not putting anything up for sale, as of today anyway.)

Definitely the same for Agent Venom: I wonder if maybe that's about as far as that price is going to go, since he's not currently active in the comics. I suppose if the third Venom movie was Agent: Venom, that could do it. (I suspect the movie title would have a colon!)

The Magic: the Gathering figures from Funko were both in about the $15 range, so they had not taken off to date. Ditto the Lego Christmas Train. The Lego Decorating Tree, if I bought it for $3.99 like I would guess, has quadrupled in price to around $16! Again, if somebody's willing to pay that; but are Legos an underrated investment property? Should your portfolio be full of several hundred mini-kits? Hmm. I can't quite make out the number on that City set, so moving on.

I didn't see the Kre-O blind bags on Amazon right this very second, and they may, or may not, be worth more open: there are codes to see what's in them. Assuming it's still in good shape, that retailer (Hastings!) exclusive black-and-white Zdarsky cover for Secret Wars #1 might be upwards of $50. Again, maybe, maybe not. Is that Secret Wars remembered fondly? Is it remembered, period?

Crap, I missed the fourteenth anniversary of the blog, too! Well, today's post is academic anyway, since our little time capsule is still safely snuggled away in my garage. Maybe in five more years it will build up to retirement money! I'll be too old to enjoy it by then, but still.


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I wasn't expecting this one to remind me of "Born Again."

At least not in that way. From 1994, Daredevil #327, "Tree of Knowledge, part two: System Error" Written by D.G. Chichester, pencils by Scott McDaniel, inks by Hector Collazo.

I'm positive I read "Tree of Knowledge" back when it came out, and I don't recall being wowed by it, even though I quite enjoyed Fall From Grace and the intro of DD's armored suit. It probably didn't help that #328 was an "Interlude" without Chichester or McDaniel and may have killed any momentum stone dead; or #330 guest-starring Gambit because...Wolverine was booked solid? I don't know. (From the GCD synopsis for that one, "With Matt thought to be dead, Karen is given an opportunity to star in cyberporn." Or, as we call it nowadays, porn.)

Daredevil's working the trail of some hackers, which leads to an explosion on the Staten Island Ferry. While DD is rescuing bystanders from the river, another of the hackers is murdered, but he is stopped from going after the killer by the arrival of the Avengers. This is what reminded me of "Born Again," in that Matt doesn't seem to see himself as a peer to them, that they're operating on another level. On the other hand, he's held up by a rather lippy Black Knight, and DD could've made him eat that helmet. (Not unlike Iron Man's usual scam, I think the armored DD wasn't supposed to be the same guy as the original, as far as anyone knew, although duh; but that would explain the Knight's attitude.)

Meanwhile, Karen Page...was still in this book? Huh. When we checked out #325 a couple years back, she was wrecked after news of Matt's "death," and I thought she was already gone for another long stretch, but okay: she's taking photos of schlubs leaving porn stores, to be named and shamed. Is...is that okay? Yes, men should consider women "as human beings, instead of airbrushed toys!" but...Well, Karen may be about to get a taste of her own medicine, as she's approached by two of her 'producers' from her own days in front of the camera. It's a brief appearance, but her producers seem either brutally naive or methed-out themselves, as they act like old friends, or like she was a willing participant and not drugged out of her gourd. Obviously DD never met them, he'd still be beating their asses.

Even more meanwhile, at the morgue, Captain America is on the scene with federal prosecutor Kathy Malper, when another of HYDRA's tech goons shows up: Wirehead. He seems to see the world as a virtual reality game, and he and another cohort, Steel Collar, get away with the corpse of Killobyte. Matt briefly visits the recently returned Elektra, then goes to 'work' as con man/'social engineer' Jack Batlin. (Remember last month, when we saw a Thor issue where he realized his current secret identity was a bit crap? DD wasn't quite to that realization yet, but it was coming.) Finally, both Cap and DD have questions for teenage hacker Spectrum, which looks like it's going to come to blows between them!

The Mighty Marvel Checklist this issue has the concurrent Captain America issue: #427, three issues into "Fighting Chance," a twelve-issue-plus storyline with the Super-Soldier Serum breaking down and Cap's health collapsing. Which would lead to Cap getting his own armor suit of limited duration, but it's alluded to here: Cap is not in top form, while DD was in good shape and had his new suit. I don't think their fight was until DD #330, but that issue has Iron Fist on the cover, so I'm guessing it wasn't a 12-round brawl-for-it-all.
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"Collection."

Quick one today, since I'll be out; but I posted most of this on Twitter...two weeks ago? When things were mildly less than terrible than they had been. They're still pretty horrible. To distract myself, I made a 1/12 scale longbox, with comics--some of which I bagged and boarded! That was fun to make, and the comics in this one are some of my favorites.

Take care of yourselves this weekend, everyone!

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Blood Syndicate was not my favorite Milestone title: I maybe read the first four issues, and some of the crossover with the Superman titles. But this issue was ninety-nine cents in 1995, and maybe a dollar when I picked it up last week! Blood Syndicate #33, "Kwai Song" Written by Ivan Velez Jr, pencils by Jeffrey Moore, inks by Rober Quijano.

The super-powered gang had been through a lot since the last issue I had read, including the rebirth of dead team leader Tech-9. The story opens with him confronting another former member, the shape-shifter Masquerade, who had previously betrayed the gang: he wanted back in. Tech-9 brings out the team...to explain this wasn't a democracy, get out. As usual, the rest of the Syndicate was not in complete agreement on that choice, but head back to bed grumbling. Tech-9 asks the intangible Fade if he still trusted him, while alluding to...an earlier relationship together. (That might not have been unheard of back in 1995, but it was rarely spoken of, even obliquely as here.)

The rest of the issue follows members Kwai and Dogg. Kwai was the 77th - and last - incarnation of a Chinese mystical being, and wanted to petition her father for another life, a final one just for her. Her request is not greeted favorably by the Jade Emperor, despite the Monkey King pulling for her, which gets him sentenced to "death without reincarnation." The Monkey King picks up the Syndicate at the end of the issue. Meanwhile, Dogg--who had gained intelligence and speech at the Big Bang, when most of the rest of the Syndicate gained their powers--has been captured, and was being taken to S.Y.S.T.E.M. I forget what their deal was, but underestimated, Dogg manages to escape.

There were only two more issues of the series: Milestone's comics would end in 1997, the company would mainly focus on licensing, namely the Static Shock cartoon. The Blood Syndicate has made a few appearances since, but few and far between.
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"Recognize."

I feel like I've had swordfish at some point in my life, perhaps on vacation or something; but I've never had bibimbap? I don't know that I'm an adventurous eater, though; except for the abominations that come out of my own kitchen. Hmm, I'm starving as I type this, and there are like three places to get bibimbap nearby...maybe.

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I was kind of hoping this would just be the guys, sitting around: "Isn't pain awesome?" "It's the best!"

Also, there's a shiny red foil cover, but while the Marshal has one of his traditional guns, I don't know what Pinhead is holding. T-square? Plunger? From 1993, Pinhead vs. Marshal Law #1, "Book One: Hell for Leather" Written by Pat Mills, art by Kevin O'Neill.

I spent a few minutes looking for sales numbers on this one, and came up empty, which isn't encouraging. Epic had put out multiple Hellraiser titles, including a few just under the title Pinhead, which seems to detract from his gravitas somewhat. This might've been the first new Marshal Law in a few years; and like a lot of these crossovers if you go with two issues, the first one is going to be more set-up than anything. In the dystopian future city of San Futuro, Law is the licensed vigilante that hunts "heroes" that commit crimes. Most, including Law himself, were former government super-soldiers, and were either murderous thugs or deluded lunatics; with many of the latter bearing unflattering resemblance to traditional superheroes. Law felt no pain, but hated the heroes, and himself; yet is flying high the start of this one; enjoying the hell out of his job and his new girlfriend, Super Nova. Her daddy issues might account for most of their relationship, as she's more esoteric and spiritual than Law. In fact, she was currently trying to contact "...the dark ones. Cenobites." Law figures Super Nova was "out to lunch," but she was hot, so...he's willing to accompany her to a "super hero therapy party," even if he's not sold on the treatments, and he still has a good laugh with her.

Unfortunately, the arrival of Super Nova's angelic friend Seraph steps on the moment: Law has an immediate knee-jerk reaction to the holier-than-thou, and S-N wonders if Law's negativity is good for her. Seraph has a little sermon-slash-sales pitch for transformation, with a familiar looking box: it's not named here, but I believe it's called the Lament Configuration. He convinces Law to try it, opening a gate to hell, where Law is run through a few fears, but none stick yet. Seraph grabs Super Nova, and takes on a more demonic appearance, as Pinhead arrives, to drop a bit of the Cenobites' mythology, and how they used fear to create order. Law is pleased to find his old foe the Public Spirit there, although he doesn't think he's being tortured enough: Law, like others, joined the army because he wanted powers like the Spirit's, and instead became a desensitized killing machine. Pinhead and his "War Cenobites" run Law through the gauntlet, then now feeling pain, Law is on the operating table for "limb modification procedure," an aphorism for amputation!

There's a lot going on this issue, and much of it still has some bearing today: Pinhead explains to Law how words are used to desensitize people to the horrors of war--otherwise, horrors, war might stop! And as usual for Marshal Law, O'Neill puts a ton of cameos, subtle nods, or blistering parodies in there. Keeping my eye out for the conclusion.
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The cover for today's book may be in the background of some of my street shots! From 2013, Avengers Arena #13, "The Devil's Greatest Trick" Written by Christos Gage, pencils by Karl Moline, inks by Mark Pennington.

Arcade has kidnapped a number of teenage superhumans, brought them to his Murder World island, and was in the process of forcing them to fight to the death. But, his little A.I. helper urges him to take action, since while they had covered a number of electronic footprints, someone may have noticed the kids are gone: Molly Hayes, of the Runaways! She's gone to the Avengers Academy and Hank Pym, since while she was receiving (fake) texts from them, she doesn't believe her friends Chase and Nico would leave her behind, or their dinosaur Old Lace. Hank agrees to look into it, and with Tigra notices some other kids were gone. They didn't seem suspicious by themselves, but checking with Wolverine and Captain Britain at their respective schools, more kids were gone. Wolvie thought X-23 was just on "walkabout," while the Captain was following his truants' exploits on social media: fake posts created by Arcade. Tigra tries to call Juston Seyfert, the kid with the pet Sentinel, but his mom won't let him talk to her. Doesn't matter, "Juston" was a LMD replacement, he may have already died in Murder World.

With so many kids gone, Hank runs a search on exotic energy signatures from around the time the kids allegedly left, and discovers a recurring teleportation energy. Visiting Maria Hill, she explains what a pain in the ass teleportation is for her, but a lot of supervillains escaped around that same time. That explains that, right? Except they had another teenage hero disappear about the same time: Death Locket. Maria writes it off as "a time travel thing," but Hank isn't convinced. Arcade has an extra push for that, though: one of the Avengers Academy's former students, Mettle, stops by for a visit. 'Mettle' explains he took off with his girlfriend Hazmat, who couldn't come because she was afraid they would make her go back to her parents. Instead, Mettle had been one of the first to die in Murder World, and Arcade used his corpse and iridium skin, to hide a robot decoy. Hank and Tigra are placated...for now.

Arcade's robot helper wonders what the endgame is here, because while he says this is to rebuild his rep; the robot is now convinced this is either an elaborate 'suicide by cape' attempt, or Arcade is somehow delusional enough to think he can get away with it. Arcade blows it up, and then starts a new unit.

I really need to see if I can find trades for this; although like the robot helper I wonder how Arcade wasn't super-murdered after this. And I'm not super-familiar with Molly Hayes, but is she ever wrong? Good instincts in that kid, that probably no one listens to.
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