I was kind of hoping this would just be the guys, sitting around: "Isn't pain awesome?" "It's the best!"

Also, there's a shiny red foil cover, but while the Marshal has one of his traditional guns, I don't know what Pinhead is holding. T-square? Plunger? From 1993, Pinhead vs. Marshal Law #1, "Book One: Hell for Leather" Written by Pat Mills, art by Kevin O'Neill.

I spent a few minutes looking for sales numbers on this one, and came up empty, which isn't encouraging. Epic had put out multiple Hellraiser titles, including a few just under the title Pinhead, which seems to detract from his gravitas somewhat. This might've been the first new Marshal Law in a few years; and like a lot of these crossovers if you go with two issues, the first one is going to be more set-up than anything. In the dystopian future city of San Futuro, Law is the licensed vigilante that hunts "heroes" that commit crimes. Most, including Law himself, were former government super-soldiers, and were either murderous thugs or deluded lunatics; with many of the latter bearing unflattering resemblance to traditional superheroes. Law felt no pain, but hated the heroes, and himself; yet is flying high the start of this one; enjoying the hell out of his job and his new girlfriend, Super Nova. Her daddy issues might account for most of their relationship, as she's more esoteric and spiritual than Law. In fact, she was currently trying to contact "...the dark ones. Cenobites." Law figures Super Nova was "out to lunch," but she was hot, so...he's willing to accompany her to a "super hero therapy party," even if he's not sold on the treatments, and he still has a good laugh with her.

Unfortunately, the arrival of Super Nova's angelic friend Seraph steps on the moment: Law has an immediate knee-jerk reaction to the holier-than-thou, and S-N wonders if Law's negativity is good for her. Seraph has a little sermon-slash-sales pitch for transformation, with a familiar looking box: it's not named here, but I believe it's called the Lament Configuration. He convinces Law to try it, opening a gate to hell, where Law is run through a few fears, but none stick yet. Seraph grabs Super Nova, and takes on a more demonic appearance, as Pinhead arrives, to drop a bit of the Cenobites' mythology, and how they used fear to create order. Law is pleased to find his old foe the Public Spirit there, although he doesn't think he's being tortured enough: Law, like others, joined the army because he wanted powers like the Spirit's, and instead became a desensitized killing machine. Pinhead and his "War Cenobites" run Law through the gauntlet, then now feeling pain, Law is on the operating table for "limb modification procedure," an aphorism for amputation!

There's a lot going on this issue, and much of it still has some bearing today: Pinhead explains to Law how words are used to desensitize people to the horrors of war--otherwise, horrors, war might stop! And as usual for Marshal Law, O'Neill puts a ton of cameos, subtle nods, or blistering parodies in there. Keeping my eye out for the conclusion.
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The cover for today's book may be in the background of some of my street shots! From 2013, Avengers Arena #13, "The Devil's Greatest Trick" Written by Christos Gage, pencils by Karl Moline, inks by Mark Pennington.

Arcade has kidnapped a number of teenage superhumans, brought them to his Murder World island, and was in the process of forcing them to fight to the death. But, his little A.I. helper urges him to take action, since while they had covered a number of electronic footprints, someone may have noticed the kids are gone: Molly Hayes, of the Runaways! She's gone to the Avengers Academy and Hank Pym, since while she was receiving (fake) texts from them, she doesn't believe her friends Chase and Nico would leave her behind, or their dinosaur Old Lace. Hank agrees to look into it, and with Tigra notices some other kids were gone. They didn't seem suspicious by themselves, but checking with Wolverine and Captain Britain at their respective schools, more kids were gone. Wolvie thought X-23 was just on "walkabout," while the Captain was following his truants' exploits on social media: fake posts created by Arcade. Tigra tries to call Juston Seyfert, the kid with the pet Sentinel, but his mom won't let him talk to her. Doesn't matter, "Juston" was a LMD replacement, he may have already died in Murder World.

With so many kids gone, Hank runs a search on exotic energy signatures from around the time the kids allegedly left, and discovers a recurring teleportation energy. Visiting Maria Hill, she explains what a pain in the ass teleportation is for her, but a lot of supervillains escaped around that same time. That explains that, right? Except they had another teenage hero disappear about the same time: Death Locket. Maria writes it off as "a time travel thing," but Hank isn't convinced. Arcade has an extra push for that, though: one of the Avengers Academy's former students, Mettle, stops by for a visit. 'Mettle' explains he took off with his girlfriend Hazmat, who couldn't come because she was afraid they would make her go back to her parents. Instead, Mettle had been one of the first to die in Murder World, and Arcade used his corpse and iridium skin, to hide a robot decoy. Hank and Tigra are placated...for now.

Arcade's robot helper wonders what the endgame is here, because while he says this is to rebuild his rep; the robot is now convinced this is either an elaborate 'suicide by cape' attempt, or Arcade is somehow delusional enough to think he can get away with it. Arcade blows it up, and then starts a new unit.

I really need to see if I can find trades for this; although like the robot helper I wonder how Arcade wasn't super-murdered after this. And I'm not super-familiar with Molly Hayes, but is she ever wrong? Good instincts in that kid, that probably no one listens to.
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I've said here a few times I like the idea of the Outsiders way more than any comic I've actually read with them, but over the last couple of months I've picked up a pile of cheap issues. And we all know Alan Davis makes everything better, so why not start with this one? From 1985, Batman and the Outsiders #24, "I Went to the Animal Fair..." Written by Mike W. Barr, art by Alan Davis.

After learning her origin, the alien entity now called Halo has left the Outsiders, and decided to never become Halo again. Instead, since Gaby believes she stole the body of Violet Harper, she's going to live and die in it. Showing up at the Gotham Bus Terminal might be a good start towards the latter, since she's first approached by an obvious pimp, then saved by an obvious cultist, who picks her up for a commune upstate called 'Eden.' There's probably a real Manson-vibe there, but my first thought was that creep Brother Blood! Wrong title, I guess.

The rest of the Outsiders are enjoying a bright, sunny day at the zoo; even though Katana is gloomy as Batman with Halo gone. Rex and Sapphire are getting married soon, and they're meeting her dad Simon Stagg on neutral ground. Someone seems to be watching them, though; while Bruce Wayne is on the scene to give the zoo a komodo dragon. Sapphire is thrilled to see, and still loves, her horrible, horrible dad; she's had enough of Rex and Simon fighting over her.

The day is interrupted by terrorists...like a lot of Outsiders comics were, if I recall. Today, the 'Liberators' are protesting animals getting cushy zoo treatment while people live in poverty. Katana saves a child from being eaten by the komodo dragon, advising the grateful parents to tell them they love them before it's too late. Batman turns on the scare tactics in an aviary full of bats, and the Liberators sing like birds: they were really there to kill Simon, so his business manager could take over. Simon does seem legitimately grateful to Metamorpho for saving him, and the wedding was scheduled for the upcoming annual.

Lastly, the inquisitive Gaby arrives at Eden, and meets Sister Eve and Brother Abraham; and my first thought was wrong again: I was thinking of Mother Night and Minister Blood from Captain America! Wires crossed there.
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The cover of today's issue is currently on Her Wikipedia page, and I've always wanted a copy because of the cover blurb, which would've made a more concise title: from 1991, Alpha Flight #97, "The Final Option...Part 1: Decisions of Faith" Written by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Michael Bair, inks by Chris Ivy.

Alpha Flight is getting set up in their keen new headquarters in Toronto, although I did raise an eyebrow at the notion that emergencies requiring superhuman help would be routed to the Avengers, Russia's People's Protectorate, or Excalibur? AF has a top-of-the-line set up and official status; I'm not sure Excalibur had phone service. Also, apparently if you're in the southern hemisphere, you're on your own.

Meanwhile, in deep space, Her is on, um, Her way to earth, being chased by an alien battle fleet. She's trying to get to New York and her "only Terran acquaintance--Ben Grimm" but lands in Canada instead. As you might've guessed, this being an Alpha Flight comic and all. She crash-lands in a mall--they used to be a thing, remember? Elsewhere in space, on the planet Quwrll, the locals witness the arrival of the herald of Galactus, Nova, and know they're hosed.

Vindicator, Guardian, Northstar, and Box greet the injured Her; without the traditional Marvel misunderstanding brawl. As the aliens pursuing Her arrive, she explains they are the Consortium, intergalactic capitalist bastards. She had helped a world return from industrial to agricultural, and wrecked one of their business interests. Since Alpha Flight refuses to give Her up, the Consortium ships do a lot of damage to the city, then a larger "home office vessel" arrives...

This was of course building up to Alpha Flight #100, and was also reprinted as a four-part Alpha Flight Special. That might've been for newsstand distribution? Or maybe crowding competition off of the racks; there's an ad for the reprint Deathlok Special here as well. Her was also using the name J'ridia here, but she would be Her again when she showed up in Quasar later that year; and she would be a supporting character there for most of the rest of that series.
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"Table."

I swear I remember a bar from my college days having a ball pit. Or I was in a ball pit somewhere...so unwholesome.
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I wasn't expecting some of the shots this book takes, but I wasn't expecting H.E.R.B.I.E. on the prowl, either.

I needed a light, cheery, fun book to read to get my mind clear; luckily I had just picked up a bunch that fit the bill! From 2008, Skrulls vs. Power Pack #2, "U.G. Universal Gangstaz" Written by Fred Van Lente, art by Cory Hamscher.

The Power Pack kids have been dragged off to space jail Hadith-VI, but luckily their pal Franklin Richards is following in their smartship Friday. I don't think he ever appeared in the original series, but accompanying Franklin is his robot sitter H.E.R.B.I.E, who is also a million times better comic relief now than he was on the old Fantastic Four cartoon. It's like it took a few versions...

Power Pack manages to free themselves and join Franklin, but feel they have to clear their names before they can return to earth, or more and more bounty hunters would just come after them. They haven't been missed at home yet, since they've been replaced by Skrulls! They plan on using their "dad" to gain access to SWORD, but the Skrull commander "Katie" is perturbed that private "Jack" is a little too into his role as a preteen layabout.

Back in space, the real Jack has a plan to lure out the fake Pack: pretend to be the fakes, do some crimes, and lure them out. He doesn't explain it well, but it's still a solid scheme, even if they have to dress 'gangsta' to sell the role. They build their rep by picking a fight with the Kree "crew of the Gestalt schooner the Marvel..." Hey, that sounds familiar.

Yeah, that's from Grant Morrison's Marvel Boy! I did not expect a shot at that here.

Also this issue: four Mini-Marvels pages from Chris Giarrusso! It's the Fantastic Four vs. Skrulls, and I had seen part of this before, but still a treasure.


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Things have not been great lately, to the point that it's tough to work up the gumption to pick up a comic, let alone make fun of one. Then a comic just irks you, and it all comes rushing back: from 1993, Marvel Comics Presents #126.

If this cover had been facing out, I would've bought this issue much more quickly than I did: Steve Lightle Ghost Rider and Typhoid Mary? I hadn't realized Typhoid had been in this title more, but this was midway through a Ghost Rider/Typhoid Mary serial, "Walking Wounded." We're coming in cold here, but an unhinged security guard appears to be lashing out at women in general and "tramps and harpies" specifically, because as a child his mommy told him "bad women took (his) daddy away." That probably wouldn't hold a lot of water with Typhoid even if she knew, and she lights him up like a family barbeque. Ghost Rider is in a bit of a bind, since Typhoid deserves punishment, but doing so spills the innocent blood of Mary, who may have been attracted to Dan. Wait, Dan Ketch? Come on. I'm going to be brutally honest here, his only character traits were he had a motorcycle and he disappeared a lot. You could do better, Mary. ("Jerk the Bait" Story and script by Ann Nocenti, story and art by Steve Lightle.)

Dave Hoover penciled two features this issue, and we'll start with Iron Fist, "The Book of Changes, part 2 of 6: A Mystery Wrapped in a Puzzle Inside an Enigma" Written by Joey Cavalieri, inks by Jeff Albrecht. Defending a mysterious pyramid Anomaly, Iron Fist has captured escape artist Skeleton Ki, but he's broken out by a pair of A.I.M. troops. Fist is uncharacteristically upset with longtime girlfriend Misty Knight for worrying about him instead of tracking A.I.M, but he suspects someone of betraying him and Rand Industries to Hydra and A.I.M. Not trusting anyone, he takes the Anomaly and stomps off. Man, Misty could do better, too.

I liked Hoover's art better in the She-Hulk feature, the conclusion to "Adrenazon's Revenge: To Thine Own Self Be True" Written by Kelly Corvese, inks by Robert Campanella. The titular Adrenazon wanted to take Jen's place, to get away from her own life as the widow of a drunk driver that committed suicide, presumably after Jen put him away. When Adrenazon tries to kill Jen with a bulldozer, she has a flashback to her husband running down some bystanders, and realizes she can't do it. With the problem largely solved, then the cops show up, after Jen for breaking jail, and Adrenazon gets shot. Still, she's okay in the end, if sadder and wiser and not green.

Finally, the main lead feature, Wolverine/Lynx "Passion Play, part 4 of 6, Widow's Sting" Written by Scott Lobdell, pencils by Dennis Jensen, inks by John Holdredge. Lynx? We don't really see much of her this issue, as Black Widow enters the quest to recover the mysterious girl who had been injected with a secret drug and then kidnapped by Imus Champion. Wolvie, French hero Le Peregrine, and German the Courier get into Champion's lab disguised as mad scientists-turned-mutated assassins the Fleshtones. I know I missed some chapters, but what? This feels like somebody at Marvel thought they should hop on the name Lynx before anyone else grabbed it.
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I remembered the cover, anyway.

It's a great cover! Easily my favorite part of this one. From 2016, Spider-Woman #8, written by Dennis Hopeless, pencils by Javier Rodriguez, inks by Alváro López.

The next three issues were Civil War II tie-ins, so this may have been intended as a last bit of fun before the grimdark crossover machine started up. Jessica throws down with the "kingpin of Staten Island," Tiger Shark--who doesn't get a single line of dialog all issue, which makes me wonder how effective a crime boss he was. Well, he's intimidating, anyway. After a fight in TS's swanky apartment smashes open his giant fishtank and releases a worryingly large squid, Jessica gets a couple lucky breaks: a texting ambulance driver hits Tiger Shark, knocking him into the sewers. She's not about to follow, but gets dragged down, and it looks pretty bad until the squid wrecks the Shark. Jessica still takes the win--and the credit.

Meanwhile, at home is pretty domestic-blissy for her, with her new son and new love interest-slash-manny, the Porcupine. I had to look up that he wasn't the original, since I know he died in an issue of Captain America, but...why would you take that identity? Even if it was just yours for the grabbing. Anyway, Jessica had a new costume and new motorcycle in this series as well, and I wonder if all of them haven't been rolled back for her newest series. It happens. Aside from the cover, I didn't love this one? Maybe because I feel like Namor, Tiger Shark should be pretty unbeatable if he manages to get the fight into his element. Maybe the previous issue established his grudge with the squid and I missed it...
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To her credit, I don't think Mary Jane asked Peter to bust guys up as often as she could've.

Somehow, I've read a bunch of Peter David books lately, and more Web of Spider-Man than ever before. I usually enjoy the former but they occasionally land flat, and the opposite for the latter. Let's see how today's book does! From 1989, Web of Spider-Man #49, "Corner Business!" Written by Peter David, art by Val Mayerik, with a nice cover by Charles Vess.

David opens with a bit of narration suggesting that small business by-and-large was going the way of the dinosaur; except for one lone holdout of entrepreneurial individualism: the corner drug dealer. David doesn't seem thrilled about it either, but it's a weird pitch. This issue we follow one such small businessman/sleazy dirtbag as Spider-Man harasses him repeatedly, at the behest of his wife, and for profit! After a friend and fellow model nearly overdoses, Mary Jane asks Peter to put her friend's dealer out of business; and while repeatedly embarrassing him and throwing away his drugs, Peter takes pictures to sell to the Bugle. Spidey plants a tracer--in the greasy weasel's hair, so it's tough to feel any sympathy--and hounds him; while MJ tries to find a rehab clinic for her friend. This was before rehab had also become big business, so she's having a hard time finding an opening. Is that still the case? I feel like today, there'd be a surplus of places for treatment. Maybe not great treatment, true, but...

Mary Jane is forced to go to her more upscale friends ("the ones that always give Peter a rash") for cash to cover her friend's rehab, even getting her a job; but she's already cut out to look for a score. Meanwhile, Spidey has driven the pusher back to his source, who had told him in no uncertain terms, don't come by if Spider-Man's following you. Seems reasonable enough, right? The pusher gets shot, as Spidey arrives too late, then has to beat and web up the source and his goons. (Pre-Breaking Bad, they still mention cooking!) Spidey feels a little bad over the pusher's death, even though he didn't even know the name of MJ's model friend...which I haven't mentioned here either, but I don't think she appears again: she has a another overdose, and the story leaves it open if she would survive. And another dealer takes up on the corner...

On the plus side, Peter's boss Kate Cushing is really happy with pictures of a dead dealer. Like scary happy.
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"Cop."

Is it weird that GCPD Blake there is like the only proper cop I can think of in my entire collection? Also, the photo on the Amazon link makes him look way more like Joseph Gordon-Levitt than any of my pictures are going to. And his hands did not want to hold a gun, and I don't believe he came with one, either. (Checking OAFE's review of Blake, he did not; they were able to get a gun in his left, but I was trying right.) That could have been a likeness issue; some actors don't want their figures to come with guns, like Steve Buscemi. Anyway, all cops are bastards, so who cares? Still, you could have pulled a bit of return if you had bought a case of those DKR Movie Masters and sat on them the last...eight years or so? It looks like they may go for at least two or three times the twenty bucks or so they cost when new.

Also weird: I know I have three Mary Jane figures now; since I didn't buy the most recent Homecoming 2-pack. It just feels like a proper Lois Lane figure should be out there, but DC seems like they just can't be bothered to get that going. This MJ is from Spider-Man 3; I bought her for dirt-cheap the tailend of 2009. She's always seemed appropriately sized for a Marvel Legends civilian, but with horrible posture. But she isn't Mary Jane in this one, since we saw the current ML version some time back (and she is also spendy now!) so she's just our waitress. Our weird, weird waitress...next time!
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