If she introduced herself to me, I would immediately blurt out "...Toast Crunch?" And get shot. And have it coming.

So I mentioned the other day that, at least in my neck of the woods, quarter bins are now usually dollar bins, or more; and twenty-five cent comics are few and far between, unless they're chewed-on, water-damaged, and/or crummy. But! My regular comic shop has been clearing some stuff from a storage unit, like those Marvel Frontier titles, a lot of various versions of Dark Horse Presents, and a bunch of Playmates Simpsons figures that are tempting me. (Rainier Wolfcastle comes with an Oscar! You understand how I need that, right?) Then the other day, they put out a box that probably was last out well over a decade prior, without bothering to retag anything, so the return of honest-to-goodness quarter comics! Some First Dreadstars I may or may not have already had, and today's book: from 2003, Cinnamon: El Ciclo #3, "Desafío" Written by Jen Van Meter, pencils by Francisco Paronzini, inks by Robert Campanella. Cover by Howard Chaykin.

I think Cinnamon first appeared in Weird Western Tales #48 back in '78, but that was set in the old west like DC's other western titles. This was a modernized version, but stayed close to the original: as a child, her marshal daddy had been shot down in a robbery, so she took to the gun--and cowboy hat, and badges used as throwing-stars--to kill the killers. Sometime after that, while not particularly old, after years of bounty-hunting and "security" work, Cinnamon seems like she's had enough; and the daughter of one of her dad's killers was now old enough to want revenge of her own. But that girl, Mace, had also been using the money from her dad's robbery--"blood money," she admits--to take care of orphans and runaways, and a lot of bad people were looking for one of them.

Cinnamon and Mace back each other up driving away thugs and gangbangers, but make arrangements to have it out at midnight regardless. Although Cinnamon didn't seem to have a lot of friends, the proprietor of a local strip club was probably one (and the girls working there idolized her) and he knows she won't draw on Mace, that this was like suicide. Still, when midnight comes, Mace refuses to let her "turn this into a sacrifice" and tells her where her money had come from, trying to goad a fight. They both draw, although we only see Mace shoot, as nearby, Mace's building was on fire... 

Paronzini's art reminds me of Eduardo Risso from 100 Bullets in places; and some of the story does as well: streetwise girl taking no guff while shooting up the place. The circle of vengeance coming back around likewise brings back the first Kill Bill. I picked up the whole series for a buck and a quarter, but that's not a strike against it; I lucked out! I'm also mildly surprised I didn't buy it before: I'll almost always buy a full run of a mini-series from the quarter bins if I find one.

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I'm not positive I've ever mentioned it here before, but as a kid; for all of first grade, since I was a bag-luncher, I sat between two kids who regularly--and repeatedly--argued about which was better, the Atari 2600 or the Intellivision. "2600's got more games." "Intellivision's got better graphics." An entire year of that. My first system was a Colecovision, by the way; which is barely remembered today but was the absolute best; those guys can suck eggs.  Anyway, maybe that's why I hadn't read this before? From 1984, Atari Force #2, "Direct Encounter" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by José Luis García-López, inks by Ricardo Villagrán.  

This was early in the series, although I believe the mini-comics included in some Atari games were in vaguely the same continuity; and as such was still putting together some characters, since said games didn't yet have a lot of space for narrative and characterization. While the mercenaries Dart and Blackjak lead a heroic--and successful--charge against an enemy gun emplacement; the Darth Vader-esque big bad of the series, the Dark Destroyer, sends the monstrous Warbeast to capture Dart, for reasons he doesn't let his lackey Kargg or the readers onto yet. On New Earth, young Chris "Tempest" Champion teleports to save his girl from a poisonous "scorp," but she then breaks up with him because her dad, a senator, doesn't approve of him or his "lunatic" dad. Alien psychiatrist Morphea visits said dad, Martin Champion, on the A.T.A.R.I. Space Station, where he lived like a hermit, trying to find the force out there in the Multiverse that he felt was responsible for "corrupting this galaxy with hatred and violence." Morphea is certain he's projecting his sorrow over the loss of his wife; but it could be a less general "eee-vil" out there than he's making it sound like.

We also meet other future team members Babe and Pakrat; but the main draw is José Luis García-López drawing the living crap out of everything. Man, what a good looking comic. Before this, the only Atari Force I had read was in the digests, like "Hukka vs. the BOB," a Keith Giffen laugher from the last issue of the series, reprinted in Best of DC #71. Which I mention because I'd just read Giffen's probably-less-than-fond farewell to the series (or at least, the comic relief Hukka) in the 1986 Ambush Bug Stocking Stuffer #1! (Script by Robert Loren Fleming, pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Bob Oksner.)

Atari Force has, for rights issues, never been collected; although I have read of fans having their own issues bound. I wonder how many of those have the Ambush Bug pages included, though...Along with this, I got issues #4 and #5 from a dollar bin; I'd better see if I have that last issue. Read more!

"Manners."

Oh, yeah, Satana can teleport, can't she? Read more!

Long-time readers may have noticed I still use the tag "quarterbooks" all the time, even though honestly? The cheap bins haven't usually been a quarter for some time. That said, we might have some holdovers later in the week; but I got a spare copy of this one for two bucks--look, there was absolutely no chance I was leaving it--and we had been wanting to blog it anyway. From 2022, Immortal X-Men #007, "Part 7: Red in Blue" Written by Kieron Gillen, art by Lucas Werneck. Cover by Mark Brooks. I'm already pretty sure this is going to be a longer and more tangent filled one than usual, even for me, so let's see where we go.

This was part of the Avengers/X-Men/Eternals Judgment Day crossover, but Nightcrawler is trying to put a positive spin on things this morning with the Krakoan Quiet Council...that was one aspect of the Krakoa era I didn't enjoy, and you would think I'd like seeing Kurt get his due; but it really felt like he was there as a token with a friendly face, to suggest maybe the option that would hurt the least amount of people and then get immediately voted down by the rest. Friggin' democracy...Still, Kurt felt that the Celestials had been a test, and earth was going to pass. The Black King immediately offers, bet. Kurt is perhaps taken aback, since if the world failed the test, um, they all die? Seemingly shrugging, the Black King calls it "disaster capitalism" but also seems to think the mutants could fight it out if worse came to worst; which Emma seems interested in betting against herself. Mystique hedges her bet, asking Destiny what she thought: "I'm petrified." Immediately, the sky turns red, with a seeming hurricane of energy raining meteors; the Black King asks, that doesn't look like a pass to him. (I don't think the Black King and Kurt had ever had a ton of interaction, but while Emma has the cash for a bet with him, Kurt almost certainly does not!)

The Council makes disaster plans, and Kurt is annoyed when Mr. Sinister comes back with a suggestion: bringing back multiples of the late Magneto and spamming the Celestial with them. This was despite the resurrection rules, Magneto's last wishes, treaty with Arakko, and general decency; Kurt despairs, maybe the Celestial was right. But, he notices Destiny hadn't been telling them anything, and opts to "catch up" with his "evil stepmom," by teleporting with her miles over Krakoa. (Kurt's real relation to Destiny was still coming!) Destiny is pretty sure Kurt wouldn't kill her, and she's right, but he was making a point: the feeling of falling, that you were absolutely doomed--unless someone stepped in and saved you. She admits she can see a path, but had been reluctant to take it. Another aside, since it would come up again this issue: Nightcrawler is usually seen as one of the 'softer' X-types, a pacifist marshmallow, not a killer at all; but somehow he bluffs incredibly well! I think that's just a side effect of his looks and probably not one he's thrilled about, but sometimes...

Step one: get Captain America, who was in New York City, where a crowd of anti-mutant protestors had just died. Kurt glances at one of the Orchis flyers, before crumpling it up and throwing it away; and is again frustrated that the world was ending, but some people were still trying to take advantage of it. He knows, if he fails and the world does deserve to die, all those jerks will die with it; if Kurt was right they all get to live. Complicated. Kurt gets Cap to the North Pole, but also sneaks a blood sample and slips it to Illyana, for plan B and that Cap-smashing-out-of-a-gold-egg-with-his-shield bit later in the series, also briefly seen later here. (100% Rule of Cool there: that didn't necessarily make sense, but looked great!)

Cap and Kurt are immediately killed by the Celestial; a noble sacrifice to bring the world together, that I also think should've qualified as Kurt's audition for the Avengers. Absolutely serious there. I swear, the Professor must've made Kurt sign a non-compete when he first became an X-Man; or hit him with the franchise tag. Kurt immediately respawns on Krakoa, but this was slightly different from usual: it was a "live" back-up. Usually, mutants brought back wouldn't have to remember being killed; but Kurt didn't have time to play catch-up today, so he now had to live with the firsthand knowledge of what getting torn apart molecule by molecule felt like. (I'm guessing, itchy.) Next, the Celestial was going to attack Krakoa, and while they could've evacuated everyone, per Destiny's plan, they could trick the Celestial, if some mutants stayed behind and died. One in ten. Far more volunteer. Hope, tearing up, swears to bring them all back; while Kurt just gets angrier. Goldballs has to stay behind: they needed one of the Five in the resurrection protocol to appear lost, but they had eggs stockpiled, and could bring him back...if they lived. Sinister makes a crack, about breaking some eggs, and Kurt nearly stabs him. Mystique and Destiny also stay behind in the sacrifice play: Destiny still saw that, as their ultimate way through it. Sinister, on the other hand, makes arrangements to bail: this would come up in the Sins of Sinister event, but he had means to "reboot" and take data back with him and try again. Which wasn't working. Ah, technology. (It's a solid joke at Sinister's expense, but also to keep this event from crashing the next one!)

"Plan B" was sidestepping the Quiet Council, breaking a rule to bring back the non-mutant Cap, and Hope has to browbeat Exodus down: was she his damn messiah, or wasn't she? Next, we see Kurt pulling himself out of an egg again, with Proteus remaking his outfit: Kurt notes, the once-horrible Proteus had changed, which was encouraging. Kurt goes back through a Krakoan portal, into orbit, so Illyana could teleport him, giving directions as he did; while Exodus watches, seemingly awed: he had previously thought this plan a "waste of eggs," but was now watching Kurt die again and again and again: Christ only had to be crucified, once. Kurt keeps teleporting into the Orchis forge, facing Nimrod and Moira MacTaggart, amid a pile of his own still-smoldering corpses. Kurt was trying to get past Nimrod to Moira, which had taken at least nine deaths at this point; but really reminds me of the video game Gauntlet. It was a quarter-eater, with a voice chip to tell you warnings like "Elf is about to die" or "I've not seen such bravery!" The latter I think was usually triggered by charging headlong into it and eating a ton of damage, but if you had more quarters it wasn't a losing strategy...

This try, Kurt glances Nimrod's head with his fingertips, just enough to teleport away a good chunk of that damn robot's head: he knows it would self-repair, but too late. (The framing of that panel is interesting: I feel it's like from a classical piece, but don't know enough art history to nail it down.) Grabbing Moira, he gives her a bit of a bluff, slapping a doohickey on her head that he claims would wipe her memories. He's lying, but he also knows "she's more scared of true death than anyone I've ever met," which gives her pause long enough for Kurt's message: a warning from Destiny, that the Celestial was about to destroy the Orchis station. She curses him out while they get to an escape ship, but Kurt knew she wouldn't have believed, or would've tried to outfight the Celestial and failed. Moira fumes, that Orchis and the X-Men would never be able to work together, but in Kurt's eyes, today was much simpler, with only two sides: life or death. Grinning, he advises her to "try something new...don't be such a grump." 

That last bit feels like an extension of a point the Krakoa era seemed to push: that mutants--and ultimately, everyone--in the final analysis, we're all on the same team, right? Sink or swim together? But even if you share goals, sometimes there's no getting around differences of opinion in how to achieve them: was Kurt ever really going to be able to come to terms with how the Black King or Mr. Sinister got results? Should he?...no, they're dicks; but they weren't the only ones. I also had to look up; there's a sequence in the main Judgment Day series where the Celestial, the Progenitor, passes judgment on several characters, and it's interesting who passed and who failed. Cap himself notably failed, since he was meant to inspire America to be better, and...OK, (gestures around broadly) yeah, but I don't think you can pin all that on Cap even if he probably agreed there. We don't see Kurt's judgment, so it's up to you: did he pass? I'd say yes, but of course he's my special favorite that's never done anything wrong; and he very likely could fall into the same Catholic guilt trap that failed Daredevil: you've done a lot, but have you done everything you could?

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This is a Superman comic, but the most unrealistic thing in it is a newspaper columnist getting fired for being repeatedly, provably wrong.

Also, that reads a lot like J.Jonah Jameson picked up another paper, but still stuck with his one trick to drive up sales bleed readership. From 1984, Action Comics #551, "Superman: Friend or Foe?" Written by Marv Wolfman, art by Gil Kane.

Rival paper the Metropolis Eagle was giving Superman a lot of flak, but that's honestly the least of his worries today: Superman just wants to get some medicine, to a couple sick twins. That's it. Accordingly, about 90 other things happen to divert and delay him, like a H.I.V.E. attack, a sinking ocean liner, a hijacked plane, random people falling off stuff, etc. On the tarmac, Afghan terrorists had captured the plane with the medicine, and try to appeal to Supes, who isn't real sympathetic to guys with guns. That was also in Russia, and perhaps Wolfman was just cross-promoting with Teen Titans, but both the terrorists and the authorities wonder if the flying hero coming in was Red Star. Seriously? I know I have some comics with Red Star, but I can't remember him actually doing anything; although here they don't think he can fly but he maybe could in the last New Titans comic we saw him in? (I seem to recollect him driving towards the fray between the Suicide Squad and the JLI!)

Superman gets the medicine, but oh no, it had lost its potency! He has to find rare herbs and spices or whatever, and nearly thinks he's failed after he loses a plant to save more people. Luckily, the guy points out, there's a whole field of that stuff over there. The twins are saved, and the Eagle columnist badmouthing Supes is fired, on the front page of his paper! Ah, if only; although I wonder what job a fired columnist is qualified to do. Read more!

Aw, I was hoping for Trogdor comics.

Still, burnination or no, there may be some bits of interest here in this one: from 1974, Creatures on the Loose #29, "Lord of Chaos!" Written by Steve Gerber, art by Vicente Alcázar. We flipped through some earlier issues some time back, but in an eight-issue stretch from COTL #22 to here, this was like the third or fourth writer for the not-Conan barbarian Thongor. The stories may have largely been adapted from creator Lin Carter's novels, but I was mildly surprised Steve Gerber wrote the last two issues, including this one. Gerber's own barbarian Korrek, from Howard the Duck's first appearance in (Adventure Into) Fear #19, would predate today's book, though.

Anyway, in the previous issue, Thongor had been carried away by a dragon, and was dropped into her nest to feed her babies. Who Thongor kills; but they were bitey monsters, so...Meanwhile, the wizard Sharajsha has completed work on the Starsword, the weapon needed to defeat the Dragon Kings before they summon the Lord of Chaos--hey, where'd Thongor go? He and the rest of the party are forced to go on without him, in Sharajsha's...magic helicoptor? OK, wasn't expecting that. They arrive, and get immediately wrecked by said Dragon Kings, while Thongor has to make the perilous if not especially long trek to catch up with them. (Luckily, the dragon appears to have taken him in about the same direction; although that dragon and the Dragon Lords weren't necessarily working together?) Darn, somebody got the Marvel Value Stamp outta this one: per the GCD, it was Number 37, the Watcher.

Thongor finds the Starsword, and saves his friends from being sacrificed; with "Father Gorm" appearing from the heavens to smite the Dragon Lords and all. Which takes about a page and a half--it really feels like they were told to wrap it up while they were actually drawing it--but they had to, since the next issue would be the start of a new feature, with Man-Wolf! Which would likewise have like three writers over the course of his eight issues, but I think he was turning the sales numbers around before cancellation.

I didn't watch Homestar Runner or Strong Bad emails when they were new. That just means, they're new to me now! Read more!

I thought it was weird Todd had even drawn Paladin twice.

I'm also 80% sure this issue did not need to be reprinted at the time; it was probably widely available in quarter bins and such. From 1989, Marvel Tales #231, reprinting 1981's Marvel Team-Up #108, "Something Wicked This Way Kills!" Plot by Tom DeFalco, script by David Michelinie, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mike Esposito. New cover by Todd McFarlane.

Todd did Marvel Tales covers from #223 to #239, starting with reprinting the classic Doc Ock/Death of Captain Stacy storyline, then shifting to mostly Marvel Team-Up issues with mutants. This would include a trifecta with Dazzler, so you've got Todd doing a pretty sharp classic Dazzler, with a bunch of hacky jokes about her, being a mutant, and/or disco. She doesn't make the cover this time, but Paladin does; and I remembered Todd had drawn him on the cover of Amazing #321...and had forgot about #320. Huh.

Anyway, this issue. This was back in the day when Peter Parker was a teaching assistant at Empire State, and here he catches an earful from a coach for flunking a star player. The guy only answered three questions out of fifty; so yeah. Spidey's also on the trail of a strange "street stalker," who seemed to be sucking the heat out of his victims; and Peter Parker was also trying to get back on top, since Lance Bannon had been getting the big pictures lately. Patrolling the park, Spidey of course gets into the traditional Marvel misunderstanding brawl with Paladin, who was working the case for cash, but ditches out for a date, leaving Spidey to get a victim to the hospital: predictably, Lance gets a picture of Spidey holding the victim, which J.Jonah Jameson just adores. It of course won't last, but JJJ is ridonkulously happy, like that Vince McMahon meme: "Pictures!...Pictures of Spider-Man!...Pictures of Spider-Man, committing a crime!...Pictures of Spider-Man, committing a crime, NOT from that weasel Parker!"

Spidey catches up with Paladin outside a fancy restaurant, where he was meeting his client; and Spidey has to suffer the indignity of being forced to wear a tie to get in. The client was the stalker's husband, and she tells a sob story of a lab accident involving microwaves, a radiation-absorbing suit, and vitamins? Sure, why not. Spidey isn't sure he would be able to help, which Paladin assumes was a bargaining ploy for a better payoff: Paladin has a hearty laugh when he finds out Spidey didn't do that for cash, which feels like a missed shot for an "action is his reward" crack. Later, as the increasingly unstable scientist takes up the name "Thermo" and kills a co-worker he thought was going after his wife; Spidey and Paladin get serious...seriously beat-down. Dazzler has a cameo, since she'd be in the next issue; but she decides to see what the hubbub is about after she finishes her makeup, while Thermo drains the heat out of Spidey...!

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"Drama."

That's a wrap on the Age of Apocalypse and assorted figures, but we did manage to squeeze in a few more we hadn't seen yet. I'm sure those guys'll be fine, at least until the next reboot, retcon, relaunch.

I think the most recent San Diego Comic Con, Hasbro had a Marvel Legends display with tons of skulls on the ground, to go with the Sentinels. I don't have anywhere near that many, but one bit I didn't get to was that in the AoA, dozens if not hundreds of Spirits of Vengeance had been called up, then killed by Apocalypse, which was why there were always skulls and fires everywhere. And Vengeance would've been the current Ghost Rider, because why not? Ah, that's a figure I didn't get at the time, but would much later: he's one of the very few Toy Biz Legends that's not been remade, although I think there were Ghost Rider movie figures for him, even if he wasn't in said movies. (Aside: along with Vengeance, the other Toy Biz Legend I still have in regular rotation is Beta Ray Bill. Hasbro made one, with a less ornate, less Thor-style costume; the old one and the even older Silver Surfer Bill are better.)

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I really expected more garter belts in Howard Chaykin's Justice League.

Well, they're all business in these issues, so maybe not. From 2006, JLA: Classified #26, "Secret History, Sacred Trust, part one" Written by Howard Chaykin, pencils by Kilian Plunkett, inks by Tom Nguyen.  

I think this was pretty concurrent with the JLA book at the time, with the Grant Morrison core team: the most seasoned of professionals, if a bit detached. They were like an encounter with a really good paramedic: if you need them, you're probably confused, helpless, and having the worst day of your life; but for them it's just Tuesday. They'll take care of you, but won't get all worked up about it.

Plotwise, this is both pretty solid and almost specifically what you would expect from Chaykin: two South American countries were on the verge of war, but both sides seem to somehow have put metahuman soldiers into the field. The JLA has to thread the needle between doing the right thing, and not overly imposing their will on foreign nations, while maybe also figuring out where the metahumans came from and not seeming too pro-America. Despite having two aliens and two monarchs on the team, they still work more closely with the U.S. government than you would probably expect; which feels real post-911 but also hopefully isn't rushing back. It's also completely not-surprising that the President is concerned about any other countries "using metahumans for international terrorism" yet being A-OK with America having them.

From Joe Kelly's run, Faith makes an appearance here, returning from the warring countries "on a mission I can't discuss for an agency that doesn't officially exist." (I honestly forget what her powers were, and I think she was traded to the Byrne-era Doom Patrol, which really feels like getting sent to the minors.) While in the field they might have been a unified front, the League seems a little back-bitey here: Kyle and Wally are seen by some of the others as a bit like children, American simpletons who don't really understand the rest of the world, no matter how many times they've saved it. (...fair.) Later, playing the king card, Aquaman throws a wrench in things, by insisting the President and the JLA make their case to the United Nations; where things get dragged to a halt by the objections of the Dutch ambassador. (Are her complaints legitimate, or somehow sinister? Maybe both, really.) While the JLA is officially ordered to stay out of the conflict, Faith takes Bruce, Clark, Kyle, Wally, and Diana undercover; on Mission: Impossible rules: if you're caught, no one's ever heard of you... 

This storyline would run through JLA Classified #31, and while I was able to get the whole thing from the dollar bins recently, I don't think it's been collected. Later in the story, J'onn plays one-man JLA to make it look like the others were where the world expected them to be; Kyle is effective undercover at a comic-con while Wally seems really bad at clandestine stuff; and the JLA honestly seems to get along pretty well regardless of if they're sometimes irritated or annoyed by each other.

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Maybe if I finish the "Legends of the Dead Earth" annuals, I could go on to these--no. No. We're not doing that.

I was familiar with the cover from a house ad, a Jim Balent number with a woman turning into a cat-woman in front of Castle Greykitty; but hadn't read this until recently: from 1994, Catwoman Annual #1,"The Last Man" Written by Christopher Priest, pencils by Federico Cueva, inks by Alberto Pez.

This was another Elseworlds annual, with a medeval Batman winning his final battle against the Cat-Man, R'as al Ghul. Perhaps because this Batman did not seem like the most noble of warriors, his name wasn't a variation of Bruce Wayne; it was instead "Lord Timon Vicar." Timon was having all of the Selenites, the cat-people, put to the sword; since he saw them as sorcerous, soulless abominations; and he had already killed R'as eight times. The ninth time might be the charm; but Timon loses an eye and is grievously wounded. Feverish and sick, Timon isn't able to put up a fight, when his men are later killed by bandits; but he is saved by a mysterious cat-woman.

After dispatching the bandits, the cat-woman asks him where Timon was; perhaps wisely, Timon points to one of his dead men. The woman claims, if her father R'as had still been alive, she wouldn't be covered in fur now. Mockingly calling him "Truman," for a true man; she forces him to bury his dead men, then plans on taking him to speak with the Emperor, and end the slaughter of the Selenites. Still feverish, Timon has a dream about saving the cat-woman from R'as; and awakes to find her asleep in human form. Finally giving her name as Talia, she explains how he's a backwards, prejudiced, sexist tool; but she needs him, useless as he is. Later, while Talia is getting horses, Timon is accosted and beat by his own Legionnaires, who don't recognize their boss, and seem like the thugs Talia saw them as. When they plan to "have their fun" with Talia, a furious Timon rallies and murders them all, but can't bring himself to hurt Talia.

Later, Talia is furious over losing the scent of a murdering band of Legionnaires, and reveals she had known who Timon was all along. They spend a night together, then Talia disappears, leaving Timon to make his way home. Back in his Bat-armor, he tries to convince his father to end the war, and gets slapped down. Furious that his own son might have been ensorcelled, he resolves to triple the slaughter, and is immediately murdered by Talia. Timon tries to stop her escape, leading to a fall into the moat and a fight with a gator; and Talia rescues him again. She thinks while his father never would have, Timon could end the war: she is immediately shot in the back by Timon's men. Timon does end the war, but knows at some point he will face Talia again: she still had eight lives left.

OK, even though I read a ton of those in '94, there is no way we're going to get to all the Elseworlds annuals! So far I think we've seen Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight Annual #4, Legionnaires Annual #1, and Robin Annual #3. Read more!