80-Page Thursdays: DC's Saved by the Belle Reve #1!

I have zero attachment to Saved by the Bell, and I know there's a remake that maybe leans on the idea that everyone involved is a bit sociopathic. Anyway, the point is, the title for this one was a stretch: from 2022, DC's Saved by the Belle Reve #1. Cover by Juni Ba. 

 This was maybe a year after the Suicide Squad hit theaters, but in case you missed it or the reference, Belle Reve is the prison in those comics. And said Squad appears in "High School Lows," as substitute teachers, that go predictably awry: Harley as a counselor almost makes sense, but once Weasel has somehow become lunch-lady, even the Squad knows something isn't right. (Written by Tim Seeley, art by Scott Kolins.)

The opener this issue was a Gotham Academy story, which feels like burning it off? It maybe took a couple years off but had three issues earlier this year; although I'm not sure if the old cast aged out or continued: in comics, they would have the option to continue! ("Sophomore Year" Written by Becky Cloonan and Brenden Fletcher, art by Karl Kerschl.) "Back to School" follows Damian and Jon Kent, as they help a nonbinary student with a bully: the student does attempt to reach out to him, but when the bullying continues, time to get decked. (Written by Peter J. Tomasi, art by Max Raynor.) 

There's a Green Arrow/Speedy story, where Ollie grounds Roy from the Titans, until he gets his grades back up; which feels like him being more involved in Roy's life than ever before. But, Ollie also has to listen to Batman's parenting advice, like twice: being a buddy didn't work, but neither did being a hardass. There's a bit of a happy ending, until you remember Speedy still becomes a junkie. ("Earn it Back" Written by Dave Wielgosz, art by Mike Norton.) 

Art Baltazar and Franco bring the Tiny Titans to Belle Reve in "Piece Making," then Brandon Thomas, Craig Cermak, and Black Lightning try to answer the question of why Jefferson Pierce served as Secretary of Education under President Lex Luthor. It should be inspiring but just feels infuriating, especially when Jefferson still has to brownnose Lex like the rest of the Cabinet, in a scene that feels way too familiar.

I liked "How Angels Are Made" a bit more: Jean-Paul Valley comes out of the System, at an abandoned school where he was routinely tortured and abused as part of his training from the Order of St. Dumas. Azrael activates inside of him after one incident, where Jean-Paul is then dragged off of his abuser before he can kill him; but the overseers reset him, and tell the abuser not to go easy on him next time. (Written by Dan Watters, art by Juan Ferreyra.) Finally, "A Night Off" for Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson of course is interrupted, but they still make to their prom...y'know, I don't think Dick would'a been Nightwing then, but sure. (Written by Andrew Aydin, art by Nelson Daniel.)

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"The Secret of Mockingbird"? What, like what she actually thought of Hawkeye's costume?

No, not that one, the Secret Six one--no, I keep telling you, not that Secret Six! Oh, let's just do this: from 1988, Action Comics #629. Cover by Dick Rockwell.

Captain Atom guests in the lead feature, with Green Lantern; as an alien having taken the form of 80's action-movie star "Randy Violent" dug a chunk out from underneath an office building for his ship or recharge-temple or whatever. (I'm pretty sure Randy Violent was referenced in the Question; it may have been a DC go-to like Big Belly Burgers.) While GL struggled to hold the building up until the fire department could get everyone out, Captain Atom tries to make peace with the alien, and fails miserably; deciding it was too dangerous to be left to its own devices and starts trying to kill it. Exhausted and his ring running out of charge, GL still tells Atom, the only way he'd get that alien, was over his dead body...! ("So Long Ago the Garden" Plot and script by James (Priest) Owsley, plot and pencils by M.D. "Doc" Bright, inks by Romeo Tanghal.)

Black Canary's last strip may have ended on a cliffhanger where she faced a flying figure with swords, and another with a hook...this month we find out Dinah just beat up the cast of a local production of Peter Pan. This was like six chapters in so I'm not caught up, but Dinah may have found the killer, if someone doesn't get her first. ("Knock 'em Dead, part 6" Written by Sharon Wright, pencils by Randy DuBurke, inks by Pablo Marcos.) Likewise, "Beginning of the End" was also well into the Secret Six serial, but finally reveals the identity of the original Mockingbird: the premise had been, he had put the espionage team together, but was also secretly a member.

After a Superman two-pager, there's part four of a Nightwing and Speedy serial, that appears to be all Speedy this month, and is set in Ireland. With his daughter Lian, Speedy meets a couple orphans, and their story is dark; involving terrorism, murder, and suicide. Speedy is reaching the kids, so of course the house gets firebombed on the last page. ("Rocks and Hard Places, chapter 4: New Friends, Old Enemies" Written by Cherie Wilkerson, art by Tom Mandrake.)

Finally, another chapter of Blackhawk, where after the death of Marcia, Jan beats the crap out of her CIA agent jerk brother; then sleeps with Nat. She doesn't seem thrilled about that later, but Jan checks his mail, and finds they've both been invited to Washington, by Harry S. Truman! ("Some Guys Can't Take No For an Answer" Written by Martin Pasko, pencils by Rick Burchett, inks by John Nyberg.) Read more!

I'm sad Kyle and Wally didn't get to hang with him like this, but they might'a thrown Batman in the volcano to keep him like that.

You have probably seen some panels from this one and not realized it, too: from 2008, Superman/Batman #46, "K, chapter 3: Varietals" Written by Michael Green and Mike Johnson, pencils by Shane Davis, inks by Matt "Batt" Banning.

Superman and Batman are midway through a quest to rid the earth of all forms of Kryptonite; with Batman working tirelessly, methodically, and tactically...and surprisingly, with Superman following suit. In his action-figure ready anti-K armor, Supes rips the heart out of Metallo; replacing it with a non-Kryptonite power source, that would keep him alive but not much else. Although he wants to take a break and see Lois, Superman keeps pushing; and next, Batman's satellite scan finds another small amount, at the Oblivion Bar, which I believe was mostly from Shadowpact: think dive bar for DC's magic guys and gals. (And the Creeper, who makes a cameo!) After Detective Chimp gets them in the door, the Phantom Stranger helps them find what they were looking for: a mysterious silver-ish charm, which Superman is compelled to touch, knocking him out.

Taking him up to the Watchtower, Batman gets a bit of a lecture from Zatanna: despite, oh, I dunno, everything, Batman seems stubbornly resistant to acknowledging "magic" as a thing. Then, Superman wakes up...and sees the Leaguers in attendance as cartoony versions, and has the munchies, and no attention span. Hmm. That seems familiar somehow; I can't put my finger on it. Anyway, Batman had already had John Stewart thrown the silver-K into the sun, but Zatanna explains they need the other half of the amulet to break the spell, and it was on Dinosaur Island...because why wouldn't it be? Zat says it's because the island, like the Oblivion Bar, was outside of normal space/time: yeah, that only narrows it down to like 20 other places in that hemisphere...Batman continues to be kind of a jerk the whole trip, saying magic still had rules, and could be broken down and understood; while Zatanna tells a tyrannosaurus to "tis!" (Editor's note: Read Zatanna's magic spells backwards!)

The locals explain, the amulet was inside a volcano, because they felt it was too dangerous for anyone to have. And, the old gods wouldn't allow magic in there; so Batman would have to go himself, with his talisman drawn on his chest. While Superman makes a run to the sun, to see if he could still get a hit off'a the first half of the amulet; the second half tempts Batman, with his parents alive, and Zatanna...wow, Superman is fu--oh, Batman resists. Then, when Zat asks him what he saw, he plays it off as huffing too much volcanic gases. She knows that's not it, but Batman doubles-down; I think because he doesn't want to let her get too close. (In the sense of, he feels like letting anyone get close to him would either undermine his effectiveness or open him up for future pain; not because of any Identity Crisis/lingering mindwipe resentment.) Superman recovers, and acknowledges that the amulet had done something for him: given him the break he didn't even know he needed. But, doesn't everyone need a break? Except Batman, of course...Batman ends the issue, alone, looking out the window at earth, presumably with a scowl that can be heard in space.

Superman hangs out and plays video games for a bit, with Supergirl, Red Arrow, and Red Tornado: Supergirl seems mildly afraid of him, while he sees Red Tornado as a wind-up toy robot, which is kind of condescending? I suppose we're just lucky this was Roy in his Red Arrow days and not Speedy...I wish Kyle and Wally had been there instead, although I could see them exacerbating the situation. If it had been Blue Beetle and Booster Gold...no, Batman would never have left Superman with them, never mind.

I feel like this one's reminding me to do something this weekend...oh, yeah, go see the new Superman movie, duh. Yes. That. 

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I should've scheduled this issue for Festivus; get those grievances out.

I had to look up the issue where the Titans previously beat today's foe, and wasn't expecting such a good cover for a villain like this. From 2000, the Titans #16, "Survival, 2 of 2: Limbo" Written by Devin Grayson, pencils by Mark Buckingham, inks by Marlo Alquiza and Richard Bonk.

In a rematch with the demonic Gargoyle, the Titans are trapped in idyllized verisons of their childhoods. Or somewhat idyllized: it's interesting to see Dick Grayson's circus life may not have been as perfect as it seemed, and that he may have been becoming restless with it. Wally's visits with Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry were pretty good, but he catches a punch from his dad immediately afterwards for "dreaming." And Roy has started to poke holes in his fantasy: while he knew his father had died in a forest fire, he really didn't have enough recollections to be stuck in, since he didn't remember a mom at all. He's the first Titan to arrive at the center, Haley's Circus, and Dick; with the others soon following suit. Donna arrives last, but because she had wanted to catch a glimpse of Dick's real dad--"so much more like you than Bru--"

After a scuffle with Gargoyle, Dick is able to knock him out with a Batarang, which is of course a trick: Dick realized he was making the team's rifts stronger, to feed on the negativity. (You know, I've never liked that kind of trope: if the thing eats the negativity, what would be left? If it can live on your pain and not hurt you otherwise, why not let it?) The Titans are forced to own up to each other about their respective gripes, like Dick being uncomfortable with an "other" Flash...off the top of my head, I'm not sure what that refers to; I'm guessing the Flash from hereabouts. Roy and Garth bury the hatchet, not really mad at each other; while Donna's situation is more complicated: she had been brought back to life (or continuity...) via Wally's memories, so she wondered if she was "real," or just an idealized version of Donna Troy. She had been trying to prove there was a side to her they didn't know; Wally says she doesn't have to, they accept that.

But Roy is the one to complete the puzzle, figuring that Gargoyle's Limbo was about stagnation, always doing the same things: Roy had needed his friends not to just love him unconditionally, but to give him a much-needed kick in the ass and be a better person. The Titans are freed, but may call the weekend early and go home. Read more!

"The End" Week: Red Hood/Arsenal #13!

One of the problems I had with the Suicide Squad movie...and a lot of fiction this year...and most of Twitter in real life...is that I have a hard time becoming invested, when everyone's a dick. But at least one may have hidden depths, in today's book! From 2016, Red Hood/Arsenal #13, "Later" Written by Scott Lobdell, pencils by Joe Bennett, inks by Belardino Brabo and Juan Albarran.

There's a bit to unpack here, but here goes: between being Speedy and becoming Arsenal, Roy Harper did some mercenary work with a squad that would become known as the Iron Rule. The narrating Jason Todd points out while Roy did it to feel useful, the Rule weren't as public-minded, and have now become nuclear-powered monsters. With the Joker's Daughter, they've captured Arsenal, and plan on murdering him live on the internet, once enough people vote him down. (Shades of a Saw movie or Black Mirror, although they're bad guys and wouldn't be above swiping there!)

Jason, the Red Hood, goes to murdertown on the Iron Rule, using Arsenal's anti-nuclear meltdown arrows...presumably, cadmium arrows, a little gimmicky, but admittedly the sort of thing that would come in handy. Most of the Rule explode grotesquely, although Arsenal knocks out the female member, knowing the Hood wouldn't shoot an unconscious woman. In a standoff with the Hood, the Joker's Daughter wants it to end badly: "Our Dad would've wanted it this way." (EDIT: I'm not sure if JD was still wearing the Joker's old face here, or a somewhat more conventional mask, but there are some crazy eyebrows going there. And coming from me, that's saying something.) Arsenal mangages to tase her, but is a little dismayed how he and Jason might have come across to the viewing public. Jason doesn't care, or at least pretends not to, since he knows his friend Roy is going to stay a hero, even if he doesn't. "You have too much faith in people. I don't have any."

Also this issue: a flashback tale, "A Friendship Born!" Featuring the hero's first meeting as Robin and Speedy, in a charming retro style that's still Joe Bennett? Not bad.

Roy and Jason had only thirteen issues this time, coming after forty with Starfire as Red Hood and the Outlaws; and it's Red Hood and the Outlaws again now, with Bizarro and Artemis.

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Sight unseen, I'm gonna guess...Gnarrk?

Or maybe Aqualad? Nah.

Cover to a dollar-bin copy of 1966's Teen Titans #40, "The Spawn of the Sinister Sea" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Art Saaf, inks by Nick Cardy.

The Titans search for the Loch Ness Monster, which in this case turns out to be a fake created by salmon poachers...wait, are there salmon in Loch Ness? Apparently. Huh. But Robin and Mal are nearly drowned by a pair of mysterious swimmers, one of whom Robin recognizes at their next encounter as Aqualad. Then there's the Black Earl of Moray, a sunken island castle, Aqualad dating a hot blonde, and more; but frankly I was roasting when I read this and may have hallucinated parts of it.

Actually, this issue reminded me that Mattel didn't even attempt to give the classic Aqualad a DC Universe Classics figure; but I don't think there was a lot of uproar and outcry on that one. Have a good weekend!

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"The History of Guardian."

At the time I did this strip, Guardian was going to be a member of the Justice League of America, because traditionally the JLA always sells better when it doesn't have any big names like Batman, Superman, or Jim Lee.

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"'Random' testing."

Get used to that, "Speedy." Get used to that...

Have a good weekend!
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"Training Day"

When there's already like 3,600+ ring-wielders, throwing kid sidekicks in would seem like overkill, wouldn't it? Hal would briefly give Wally the title of "Kid Lantern" in Mark Waid and Barry Kitson's Brave and the Bold mini-series, though; which pretty effectively showed why Hal shouldn't have a sidekick: Wally had lost his speed for a moment, but Hal gave him a ring because he was feeling stung that Wally didn't think he was cool. (Admittedly, this story was set when he was an insurance adjuster, not a test pilot...) And Hal really didn't give Wally any training, or even remedial instructions, like 'Hey, the ring doesn't work on yellow.' (EDIT: Yeah, I wrote most of this, before I scanned that page to post yesterday.)

I've read a fair chunk of Green Lantern, excluding the recent series, but maybe I should ask: is there any reason Kyle should have any respect for Hal, other than Hal's the greatest GL ev-ah and all Guardians and GL's alike should kneel and kiss his ring? If you listen to Geoff Johns, anyway...no, seriously, even putting aside that Hal was possessed by Parallax or whatever; every time Kyle ran into Hal he was either a super-villain, or at best, kind of a patronizing douche. Weren't a lot of Hal's conversations with Kyle to the effect of, "Oh, you're an artist? And you made a robot with your power ring! That's so cute!...Maybe you want to give it back to a grown-up now, kid?"

To be fair, writers and editorial seemed to have problems with Hal's characterization all through Kyle's run: I seem to recall a lot of flashbacks to Hal at the time (during the 90's, say) that either "hinted" at the instability Hal would have when he became Parallax (a Superman annual, don't ask which one, but it had GL on a Walt Simonson cover...maybe I'll find it) or tried to retcon in an explanation for Hal going nuts: I think Kurt Busiek, in the Silver Age miniseries, tried to pin it on Hal's brief use of Sinestro's power ring.

The point is, Kyle won me over in his years with the JLA, and doesn't deserve to be thought of or treated like a junior member. Although, I'm positive Hal does think of Kyle as a rookie, cadet, noob, kid...To some extent, Guy probably does too, but Guy does it because he cares, because he's trying to pass down some of his experience, and because it's fun to bust Kyle's chops.

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I think I need the Guardian of the Universe action figures from DC Direct. It is a two-pack of little blue midgets, so it can't be that popular, but Hal dealing with his bosses seems ripe for mockery.

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JLI: The 'I' is for 'Interview'

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Old comics here!

Continued from last week's comic.




I haven't decided if I'm gonna keep this one going or not, but next week a new comic.

I think Mark Millar and Grant Morrisson were going to tackle the issue a little in Aztek, but what would the interview process be like when you've got thirty or forty people in masks show up? What kind of references would they have? Press clippings? Arrest records? A signed note from Batman? Would the interviewers insist on knowing the interviewee's secret identity? Should they? Should an interviewee give up that information?

Two other examples spring to mind, although I don't have either in hand: one was from an old Avengers issue and the security check for prospective member Rage. He's lead to a secure room, where a videotaped message from Tony Stark (!) plays, explaining how it will do a one-time check and give a yes or no answer on whether he's eligible or not, then erase the search's tracks and records. (Ah, I wish I had that one: it's a clever answer to some of the logistical questions that a bunch of masked yahoos would generate, and Tony is friendly and not at all dickish.)

The other one was from a What The--!? spoof of Avengers/JLI, featuring Blue Beetle and Booster Gold, among others, having tryouts. J'onn tries to suggest maybe reconsidering "Mr. Mann's" application, "You know, someone with powers?" Beetle shoots that down, that the League is about hanging out, and at the time, yeah, pretty much. Still, it's not unreasonable to think a lot of the interview would be interpersonal: sure, you could get a batch of uber-powerful members, but who wants to be on a team with Geo-Force or Captain Atom? (Disclaimer: Cap was cool in Justice League Europe, but everyone else writes him as a complete tool.) Read more!

Speedy's Intervention

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The Speedy action figure is from the Teen Titans line from Bandai, was it? And Aqualad, Red X, and Speedy all got figures in that scale before Raven and Starfire...hell, did Raven and Starfire ever get 5-inch figures?




This one is inspired by one of Lorendiac's Lists over at CBR's Comics Should Be Good: Who Knows Batman is Bruce Wayne? In the DCU, sometimes it feels like just. About. Everybody.

There's a fair number on that list that learn the secret, then are promptly killed, usually in the same issue or storyline. Then there's several villains that learn it, then get mindwiped or placed in a position where they can't or won't use it. (R'as al Ghul is probably the main one there: I didn't read his recent crossover, but I'm pretty sure there's more damaging things he could do then just sending a bunch of ninjas over to Bruce Wayne's house.)

Then there's the heroes, wives, hangers-on, etc. There's probably some that he would just as soon not know--I don't think he would lose any sleep if Green Arrow, Hawkman, or Hal Jordan suddenly forgot. But then, I think there's probably a few--a very small number, I'd imagine--that he's actually OK with knowing. Maybe it's because he's taking an interest in their career or training; but maybe, just maybe, Batman needs a couple of kids to know Bruce Wayne is Batman and think he's cool. That's a side of Batman that Dick or Tim would never see: some dads are incredibly strict with their kids, yet polite and friendly and easy-going with their kids' friends. And why shouldn't they be? The dad doesn't have the same expectations for them.

Hmm, a lot of thought into some jokes with some toys. How about this: Speedy was, without question, the worst 'actor' I've worked with so far. Not a ton of range on his arms. The bed is two cheapo dollhouse beds shoved together the wrong way, and I wasted a ton of time looking for the lamp accessory from a Peter Parker Spider-Man movie figure. Thought it would pull the bedroom together a bit more, but oh well. Read more!

So, 'Speedy=Junkie' is still the key takeaway from this one.

I swear this just happened: I misdialed and got the Illinois Dyslexia Association, or some such. Now I'm worried.



Anyway, even though I love this cover something fierce, I don't have even a reprint version of this issue, although I have several of the ones before and after it. I'm not positive I've ever read it, for that matter. (Thus, cover yanked from GCD.) I have a vague feeling that I've read part of it, but that could have just been excerpts from a blog or something.

But by this point...I'm not sure I should read Green Lantern/Green Arrow #85. Let me explain in a roundabout manner: ever see the movie the Omega Man? It's generally reviled as not a very good adaptation of Richard Matheson's I Am Legend and Charlton Heston doesn't seem to mix well with the faux-blaxploitation feel of the movie, either. The thing is, it was one of those movies that I could never see: every time it was on, I'd miss half or more of it, or something would happen during it.

Finally in college, I rented the damn thing, unplugged the phone, waited for my roommate to go to work, and watched it. And was crushingly disappointed to realize I had only missed about five minutes total of the movie: I had convinced myself there was an extra reel of Heston machine-gunning down hooded zombies. Hell, I'd watch that if it was filmed today.

The Wife and I did something similiar with the movie Audition, which we heard great things about, it made that list, blah blah blah. It took us well over a year to get it, and it was...pretty scary, I guess. But maybe not as scary as what was in our heads. Lesson learned: sometimes, it's better to leave a legend be, and let your imagination carry the day.

Of course, I say all this, but if I found a copy or reprint of GL/GA #85 I'd so buy it. Maybe it would finally give me an appreciation for Speedy, since I'm not a big Teen Titans fan, and thus don't much care for him. (I did like the animated versions in both Teen Titans and Justice League Unlimited, though.) It's not a fair impression, but I can't shake the picture of Speedy as the Eddie Haskell of the DC Universe.

Why do I bring this up? And yes, I do have a Speedy action figure, but maybe not the one you would think...

Man, love that Neal Adam's cover. And the original issue is just about exactly as old as I am. Weird. Read more!