Random Happenstance

I will never quit this stupid blog, because I enjoy it too much when we find a comic, referencing back to a post from over ten years ago! From 1990, Uncle $crooge Adventures #20, reprinting 1960's Walt Disney's Uncle Scrooge #28, "The 'Paul Bunyan' Machine" Story and art by Carl Barks.

While Uncle Scrooge was getting on in years, he was usually pretty spry; but today he's struck by a bout of the rheumatism. Not from the weather, as Donald suggests, but from burglars: Scrooge's doctor had described it as "radar nerves," but over years of crooks trying to get his Fruity Pebbles steal his money bin, he almost had Spider-sense for protecting his cash, and it was going off something fierce. And it should, as the Beagle Boys were at it again, building a 'Paul Bunyan' machine; a massive, ax-swinging beast of heavy machinery. Scrooge fears there weren't enough cops in Duckburg, or maybe the state, to stop that thing.

Now, the money bin contained about "ten umptillion, uncountabijillion dollars" but a lot of that appeared to be in coin. (There's still a penny shortage, Scrooge!) So, he was having a hard time even moving it; and the local banks were already stuffed to the gills with his cash and couldn't fit any more in. (Is that why Scrooge has the money bin? He has so much cash in holdings, he can't get a bank to take the risk of holding it all.) Worse, from down the street, the Beagle Boys were x-raying the money bin every couple hours to make sure the level didn't go down. Scrooge cleverly counters both problems: mailing box after box of cash to...ugh...Idaho, while filling the money bin with washers to fool the x-ray. (Aside: I'm often hard on my home state Montana as being less than progressive, but Idaho bluntly sucks. It's like it's racing to become the next Missouri, and it feels like anybody good with the means of getting outta there is.) With Donald and the nephews there to receive the packages, Scrooge arrives later, and they begin hiding the cash, in trees. OK, that last one isn't maybe the best idea I've ever heard, but Scrooge was enjoying the outdoor time.

Back in Duckburg, the Beagle Boys had realized Scrooge was gone, but see a newspaper article about the government building a dam (no points for guessing where!) and would pay well for logging the trees out of their way. Seems like a job for a machine, maybe even one named after a mythical logger? It's (relatively) honest work, but the Beagles might give it a shot. Scrooge had been gone for some time, and had been out of touch: either his staff in Duckburg had sold the land without being able to tell him, or the government eminent-domained him, so he no longer owned the land, and now had to scramble to get his cash back out of the trees before the Paul Bunyan machine got there...The whole affair seems like it should be a loss for Scrooge: a lot of mailing, buying timberland, a lot of cement, there's a line item here for 12,000 monkey wrenches; but he probably comes out ahead.

All in all, super-fun, and a pretty iconic one: The Paul Bunyan machine is referenced, in Badger #48, where the bad guy brings one in to A. deforest the Amazon, and B. turn endangered animals and trees into high-end consumer goods, and C. beat Badger's ass. As you'd expect, Badger is more than a little indignant: "...you couldn't beat me yourself so you invented a 45-ton machine to do it?" "Oh, I didn't invent it, I leased it." I always thought it was a Gyro Gearloose number, though! The Beagle Boys had some skills. 

Also, we've mentioned Uncle Scrooge is having a bit of a comeback at the comic shop, but his new comics are probably between $4.99 to $7.99: this issue was $1.95, but I paid a buck: usually Scrooge would approve, but I guess the original was a thin dime, so maybe not. Still, this reprint also comes with "On a Silver Platter," a fun bit of hijinks with Magica de Spell; "The Custom of the Country," in which a business deal comes with strings attached, namely a finicky goat; and "Family Fortune," where Scrooge tries to cash in on a promotional land giveaway from a cereal box. Now what would you pay!