Special guest-star, Shuma-Gorath!

I'm not positive why his--her--its?--upcoming figure got renamed Gargantos--it's a rights issue since the name Shuma-Gorath at least was from a Robert E. Howard story--but I'll probably have to throw in on that. OK, he's not really in this issue, but for a quick one today, from 2023, Star Wars: the Mandalorian season 2 #3, "Chapter 11: the Heiress, adapted by Rodney Barnes, pencils by George Jeanty, inks by Karl Story. From the dollar bins, I got the below "concept art" cover by Brian Matyas, and had to scan that for the GCD.

I was going to say, issue #3, chapter 11; because Marvel, but they do have it broken out by seasons. I was a little disappointed they went with straight adaptations, and not all-new adventures; although I suspect Disney and corporate are maybe keeping a tight rein on the continuity stories for Din Djarin and Grogu. Still, "The Heiress" is a solid episode. All of these would've been collected in trades as well, I wonder how they sold? Read more!

Not the best toy show haul ever, but hardly the worst.

I did get one score I won't mention here, but I did get a couple decent picks at the most recent toy show. Like this giant Wookie!

Aw, that picture's a little fuzzy...sorry. Pretty sure that's a Star Wars Collector Series 12-inch Chewbacca in Chains, and it's more of a stuffed toy than an action figure. I don't think he really has joints! Back in the 90's, there were a ton of Star Wars and Star Trek 12-inch figures, that were super mass-market: they weren't exactly Hot Toys quality, but they weren't the hard plastic bludgeons with five points of articulation that you find on the shelves today.

This one was down to $20, so kind of had to: a Toy Biz Marvel Legends Destroyer! Back from series 15 in 2006, the Build-a-Figure MODOK wave. The OAFE review will break it down for you, and we've had a Marvel Select and a Marvel Legends of it since, but I had never seen one that cheap, so...I got a cheap and still carded Hallow's Eve from the same vendor, but he had a ton of old Toy Biz pre-Legends stuff up too. I was hoping to find a Madame Web, but no dice.

Still, it's always a bit of fun to wander around and see stuff. And of course, I did get a stack of comics! We'll maybe look at one tomorrow. 

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Finally, this blog is Osha-compliant!

OK, that's a groaner. But, if you go through the year-end totals, you probably notice I still buy a few Star Wars Black figures, even if they don't show up in homemade strips. Usually. The Emilia Clark figure from Solo showed up in a few; but I haven't done a full-on Star Wars strip in, woof, over ten years? But, they still turn up: I have a fairly good batch of Mandalorians! And I would love to assemble a proper cantina one day, and fill it with characters that belong there, and whoever else I deem fit. Then there's also some that I buy for fear of missing out, or because they were cheaper than dirt; the latter may apply today, I'm afraid. 

Counter-intuitively, I liked the Acolyte show, even though I'm in that subset of Star Wars fans for whom Jedi, lightsaber stuff, isn't the most interesting part of the universe? If you have Force-powers, your choices seem limited to either getting abducted as a child and forced into Jedi school/bureaucracy/space cops to live as a weird sexless monk; or becoming a full-on sociopath. No middle ground, although there may be one outlier in Skeleton Crew: the pirate Jod, played by Jude Law, appears to have Force powers, although he could just be tricksy; we've seen fake Jedi before on the Obi-Wan show. By the way, that's how I think they should be titled: "The Mandalorian Show," "The Ahsoka Show," etc. Anyway, there were more than a few figures made for the Acolyte, but spoiler alert: most of them get chopped. Up. If you remember Episode III, when Palpatine reveals himself as Darth Sidious, he wrecks up like three Jedi in as many seconds. (Including, noooo! Kit Fisto.) Light-side Jedi can block blaster shots all day long, steamroll droids, but the average rank-and-file guys were just sad in lightsaber fights against an equal opponent. (Well, for certain values of 'equal,' the bad guy in Acolyte has sneaky tricks as well.) I don't think Star Wars can do what the Alien movies sometimes do: here's a character that's cool as hell!...now they're dead as hell. Still, memorable! Although, that could be a time-limitation as well: I swear in the Darth Vader comics, the Jedi librarian, who looks about as formidable as old-school Aunt May, gets to put up a solid final battle. That's partly inverting expectations, sure; but a TV series usually wouldn't have time for that nowadays. (Eight episodes isn't a "season." Get back to work!) 

 I was just checking if the figure for Jedi Tracker Bazil was on sale: no dice yet. He's a proud Star Wars tradition of "weird little guy" that also doesn't speak English/"Basic," but there were a couple points where he seems to make choices, that are just baffling? They weren't even "idiot ball" decisions, to keep the plot moving in a certain direction; but more like from his point of view, ethically this was the way to go. Or not, he doesn't talk, so you don't really know! And the show does drop the ball on what should've been a slam dunk: finally, a Wookie Jedi!...who's dead and we'll only see in flashback. I don't think Kelnacca even got a big set-piece fight to go out on; but narratively maybe you don't show that if you want to maintain ambiguity and don't want the audience to double-extra-hate the bad guy. You try to build up that maybe the Jedi Order wasn't the perfect shining island of virtue it was made out to be, but it's tough to defend a Wookie-killer...

Yeah, I probably think about Star Wars a normal amount. Here's to that cantina, someday.  

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"The End" Week: Star Wars: Bounty Hunters #42!

Since I'm not sure where I put Star Wars #50, let's check out another title that ended this year: Star Wars: Bounty Hunters #42, "The Secret Weapon" Written by Ethan Sacks, pencils by Jethro Morales and Paolo Villanelli.

This, the aforementioned main Star Wars title, and the most recent Darth Vader series; were all set between Empire and Return; and all ended recently so new books set after Return could be launched. Bounty Hunters had of course featured the big guns, but had also brought back the cyborg Valance the Hunter from the first Marvel run. Valance challenges Jabba the Hutt, not for the captive Han Solo, but for his "secret droid." Jabba had schemed and weaseled, to get a "Megadroid," a superweapon that could've changed the course of the Clone Wars, had their factory not been blown up. He intends to make an example out of Valance, to show that bounty hunters were obsolete, and that extortion payments to the Hutts were about to go up. But Valance wasn't alone...

Besides 4-LOM and Zuckuss, and new hunters Losha and T'onga, Boba Fett was actually in on this as well: although he had made a show of stopping Valance, he also suggests putting him up against the Megadroid, because he didn't want that thing to upstage him. Valance and his crew defeat the massive droid and escape, which leaves the way open for Luke, Leia, and Chewbacca to rescue Han. (Valance and Han were old friends, possibly from when they were in the Empire.) The crew, and other bounty hunters from the series, go their own ways; with Valance rescuing and maybe rekindling an old flame.

I've only read a few random issues of this, but it was kind of charming? Like, it understands it can play with the toys, but each one could be somebody's favorite, so maybe don't break them? Even Dengar, who might be the butt monkey of the book, doesn't get completely killed. Valance gets a solid glow-up, though: despite being a 'borg, I wanna say he used to look like a 70's tough character actor, but is all handsome now! Well, maybe he had some work done...

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I suggest reading this, then logging off for the day?

This wasn't my favorite issue--the book was hitting solid at the time--but there's a moment this issue that stuck with me and might be important today. From 1982, Star Wars #58, "Sundown!" Plot and script by David Michelinie, plot and pencils by Walter Simonson, inks by Tom Palmer.

While Chewbacca, Luke, and Lando head for their adventure on Bazaar, Princess Leia was readying a dangerous plan to hide the Rebel fleet from Imperial patrols, by hiding it in that system's sun! It's a rather Star Trek plan if you ask me, and hey, it uses "Kerts-Bhrg field generators" for the shields--Kurtzberg, after Jack Kirby!

While dramatic, the insertion goes without a hitch, and most of the Rebel personnel make their way to the specialized shuttle to head back to base, leaving a smaller maintenance crew behind. Threepio scolds Artoo to hurry, or if they miss the shuttle, they would be stuck there for a weeklong shift, but Artoo dawdles, checking something, and finding a fault in an absorption circuit, that was about to explode! Oh, and the shuttle just left, and burning circuitry created noxious fumes, knocking out the maintenance crew!

Threepio gets communications out to Leia on the shuttle, which just barely made it through: the force-field protecting the fleet was fluctuating, and TIE Fighters had just entered the system...c'mon, those aren't long-range ships! That's from the first movie! But, Artoo has a plan, and it's a doozy: run a cable from one of the Rebel ships, out to the force-field generators, to keep it going. He and Threepio have to make a spacewalk, with Threepio wearing a jetpack, and Artoo wrapped in a reflective blanket with an eyehole poked in it. (Threepio's gold coating apparently protected him from the heat!) This hits a snag pretty quickly, when the temperature's hot enough to melt the jetpack, and their momentum was going to carry them out of the force field, into the sun!

After the TIE Fighters leave the system, Leia's shuttle had managed to get their heat shields back up for another trip into the sun, but by computer calculations, the fleet would've already been destroyed, thirty seconds ago. (That also feels more Trek than Wars.) For maybe five seconds, it seems like this was going to break Leia: while they wouldn't have lost a lot of people, without those ships, the Rebel Alliance would have largely been whatever they had in their pockets at the time. Well, if that's where we have to start, that's what we'll do...but of course, things weren't as bleak as all that: Artoo had used his fire extinguisher as an emergency propellent, which got them to make the connection in time. But, that scene still sticks with me: even at the absolute worst-case scenario, you still can't quit. Keep fighting until you can't.

Also this issue, along with the start of the fun Bazaar plot, we also see smoking hot Rebel pilot/possible love interest for Luke, Shira Brie, a couple times; and she makes a strangely "oh no! Anyway..." tinged remark at the news of the possible destruction of the fleet. It'll make sense later! Read more!

How tough could he be? He's just a repaint.

My apologies if I'm mis-remembering, but I swear in the pre-Disney, Dark Horse/"Expanded Universe" era of Star Wars stuff, Chewbacca was pretty firmly established as a bad ass: the toughest of the tough, the epitome of Wookies. Marvel seemed to take the tack, what if Chewie isn't the uber-Wookie, what if he's basically just a Wookie guy? And Krrsantan is like Wookie special forces? Yeah, I don't buy it either, but I swear that's what they were trying for. From 2022, Star Wars: Han Solo & Chewbacca #4, "The Crystal Run, part 4" Written by Marc Guggenheim, art by David Messina.

Han and Chewie are trying to recover a Macguffin for Jabba the Hutt--an urn allegedly containing a rival's ashes, which seems dubious--alongside Corbus, a geezer claiming to be Han's long-lost father. Dude was shifty. Bounty hunter Krrsantan escapes with the captured Han; in what I thought was one of those Razor Crests, but nope! It's his personal Auzituck anti-slaver gunship. Ah, Star Wars continuity.

Chewie plants a bug on the Auzituck and gives chase in the Falcon, with the injured Corbus; then storms the bad guy's palace alone to rescue Han. Most of the hired help rightfully decide they weren't getting paid enough to get dismembered by a Wookie and bail, bringing up "a Wookie death-duel!" The fight doesn't go the distance, since Chewie takes the seemingly less-than-honorable tactic of pulling a thermal grenade out of his Wookie-purse, along with Han's beloved blaster. They fight their way out, only to discover the Falcon was gone! I have to ask: how stealable was the Falcon? Corbus very likely could hotwire that thing, but even relatively early in the continuity it still seems like that ship had to be handled just so, or it would stall out... Read more!

If a raccoon and a tree can get a found-family; so can...whatever Zuckuss and 4-LOM are.

I had their figures when I was a kid, and have their Star Wars Black figures; but could I have told you anything about these two as characters? Um, one's a bug-guy, the other one's a droid; they bounty hunt! Done. From 2021, Star Wars: War of the Bounty Hunters: 4-LOM & Zuckuss #1, "Zuckuss Must Die!" Written by Daniel José Older, art by 座間慧 credited as Kei Zama.

The titular duo are among the upper echelons of bounty hunters in the galaxy, but I think this series was set between Empire and Return, so Boba Fett was still top of the game, and had recently beat them both, even stealing 4-LOM's head to use for something to move his plot forward, I'd assume. A battered Zuckuss drags himself back to his usual hangout--Jega's Music Hall and Petting Zoo? Uh, sure. Zuckuss is dismayed to hear his pal "For-Elloem" was probably disintegrated, but then senses his return--in an upgraded spidery body, there to kill Zuckuss!

The first bounty hunting kill Zuckuss and 4-LOM had pulled as a team, actually got the guy's brother instead: he'd been plotting revenge ever since, and here it was. Zuckuss accepts his fate, since he won't raise arms to a friend, but the rest of the gang from the music hall have his back. Zuckuss guns down the bounty they should've got before, but a damaged and confused 4-LOM escapes into the night. Still, I like the idea that those two weirdos could have a whole Guardians of the Galaxy-style crew form around them; even though I know 4-LOM usually has to take the worst of it, because he can get repaired and put back in the story later the easiest. (The monkey-like Chat seems very Rocket Raccoon-y; he even has a fetish for collecting limbs from victims!) Read more!

Even though I sometimes ask myself why; I still buy a fair amount of Star Wars Black figures. But I didn't get around to buying the titular character of this one; although I think there will be chances later with a new version. Even though she's barely in this one: from 2018, Doctor Aphra Annual #2, "Winloss and Nokk" Written by Si Spurrier, art by Caspar Wungaard.

On a distant planet outside the Outer Rim, the husband and wife monster hunting team of Winloss and Nokk have taken a job that they hope will put them in the big leagues. They're relatively ethical monster-hunters, though; not wanting to harm innocent or non-dangerous monsters. But they've been hired by the moral null-space that is Doctor Aphra, who communicates with them via hologram. She tells them she's working for a mobster that wants his own monster, as they were the in accessory: think Jabba and his Rancor, although they are described as the "cute" end of the scale.

Among other complications, the creature is in a mysterious temple, filled with traps. Very Raiders, in fact, Winloss recognizes a body in a dart trap as a rival hunter. Although Aphra talks them through the traps, she admits they weren't the only hunters hired for the job, but hey, good news! Most of them were dead, which had to improve their standings, right? Oh, and the creature was bioengineered with a force field that was building up and would probably explode if they hit it with blasters. Good luck!

Winloss and Nokk find a wounded hunter, top gun Squoxx. Who was going to bleed out, so they don't feel real bad about throwing him out as bait, but the monster doesn't bite. Nokk realizes it had been hunting by sound, and is able to use the chattier Winloss as a distraction to lure it into position and knock it out. Still, their negotiations with Aphra take a turn, as her offer for their work, is nothing. They could kill the monster, but she calls them too soft for that, and she turns out to be right. The dying Squoxx will, though. Winloss and Nokk aren't thrilled about it, then confused when something stirs within the body: Doctor Aphra in a null suit! She had infiltrated the temple to steal the prize inside, but got gulped by the creature and had to call for help that wouldn't just shoot at it and blow them all up. She's still not paying them; but there's still some comeuppance heading her way.

I haven't read a ton of Doctor Aphra, but I think the character only works if she is unrelentingly terrible. Just the worst. I don't know if this was Winloss and Nokk's first appearances, but they're on the cover of the next annual as well: they manage to avoid being completely burned by Aphra once, could they do it again? Read more!

Of course the Craigslist ad isn't going to come out and tell you it's breaking up a set.

Because I fondly remember the old original Marvel ones, I'm usually up for a Star Wars Annual, but I think I was disappointed this one didn't go as far into what it promised.  From 2018, Star Wars Annual #4, written by Cullen Bunn, pencils by Ario Anindito, Roland Boschi, and Marc Laming.

Recurring troublemaker smuggler Sana Starros isn't visiting fringe world Hradreek for the podracing, but to unload a Sith artifact, the lightsaber of Darth Atrius...hey, where's the other one? They were supposed to be a set! That's like buying a TV and somebody sold the remote separately! The crime boss buying the saber is less mad, than furiously unhinged, apparently by the lightsaber, as he starts hacking up his own men to set at Sana. Elsewhere, an Imperial officer is practically giddy at delivering the lightsaber of Darth Atrius to Lord Vader, who is more coldly furious, as usual. Which isn't really fair to the officer; Sith stuff was secret, there wasn't an in-universe wiki for him to look up Darth Atrius!

Luke Skywalker and Artoo were also on Hradreek, since the Rebels were collecting or skimming a piece of gambling percentages for funding. Luke's contact suggests he could double or triple those credits with some betting, but Luke's not the type for that, which is probably why it's him making the pickup. He senses something amiss in the Force, and finds the lightsaber; after the crime boss and his men had murdered each other, right when the stormtroopers show up. Using the Sith saber, Luke chops them into mulch; while nearby Vader does the same to some Aqualish Sana talked into covering her escape. Luke comes out of it afterwards, possibly when Artoo asks him something like "where'd you go, psycho boy?" They both get caught in an explosion Sana sets to try and delay Vader, and Sana helps herself to Luke's dropped credits.

Separated from Artoo and chased by stormtroopers, Luke is forced to "do something really stupid..." even by his standards: steal a podracer! Which may have been a little faster than he was expecting. Sana misses betting on Luke's race, but does catch Artoo sneaking up on her and kicks him over. Boo! But the little droid pulled the old spilled lubricant trick, and steals back the credits. (Or maybe steals her credits? Whatever, Artoo grabs something.) 

Meanwhile, the podrace should be declared force majeure, as Vader uses the Force to disable Luke's pod. (The announcers note humans were not typically equipped for the sport, and had never won a major circuit race...although there were stories from the sticks. I would've thought the Boonta Eve Classic would've been on ESPN 8 or something...) Luke is pretty angry, but not from the crash, from Atrius's saber, which Luke destroys before Artoo picks him up. Similarly, Vader destroys the other; and Sana gets while the getting is good, to pawn off more artifacts. 

This kinda felt like it was trying to do a couple things at once, which didn't leave enough room for either: do the gambling/podracing story first, then the cursed lightsabers one. Also, why did Vader destroy the second lightsaber? Was it affecting him and he didn't like it, or mad the set was broken up? Every once in a while in the Dark Horse stories, Vader seemed to sandbag a bit to keep the Emperor from becoming too powerful, that could've been it.

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At least they didn't tell the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise; I'm sick of that one...

I love Darth Vader's castle on Mustafar, because it is a god-level dick move by his boss, Palpatine: hey, remember that planet where you got beat, had your limbs severed, and got burned in lava? I built you a house there! I don't know if that's part of the legends told of it, though. From 2018, Star Wars Adventures: Tales from Vader's Castle #5, "The Fearful Finale!" Written by Cavan Scott, art by Derek Charm and Charles Paul Wilson III.

The framing device for this series was a Rebel crew crash-landing on Mustafar, then exploring the titular castle to try and find a way of the inhospitable lava planet. Over the course of series, various stories are told, which give some of the Rebels inspiration to rally and survive when it becomes apparent oh, crap, this is Darth Vader's house. Because this was a more kid-friendly "Adventures" tale, some of said Rebels do make it out; in most continuities Vader would probably murder the hell out of them, but they even manage to come back and rescue a captured teammate later. Still, here their leader wonders if Vader didn't let them escape, to spread the story, and the fear, across the galaxy. Read more!

Remember that episode of JLU where Batman sings? Oh, you remember the one where Carrie does...

This could be a lot more meta than I would've known at the time, since I never saw the Star Wars Holiday Special. In fact, I'm still not sure I've seen it all the way through: I have the Rifftrax version and haven't even been able to watch it with their help! But today's comic is more fun: from 1983, Star Wars #77, "Chanteuse of the Stars..." Script and plot by Jo Duffy, plot and breakdowns by Ron Frenz, finishes by Tom Palmer.

Set just prior to Return of the Jedi (which would have been in theaters just a few months prior to this issue's newsstand date of 08/09/83) the Rebels have been trying to find two missing spies with information about the Empire's new secret weapon. One had been found dead, but Rebel command had intercepted an Imperial report that another Rebel had uncovered the same information, and had a holograph ID'ing him: Han Solo? He was still frozen! Lando asks Chewie if Han could have found that info prior; then asks him to keep that quiet, so they can have the opportunity to go looking for him again. Leia has to admit, there was no way Han could have; but command still wants to investigate. Lando and Chewie are sent, with the droids; while Luke and Leia have another mission.

With the telepathic Hoojibs--little bunny-looking energy eaters--Luke and Leia take the Falcon to Kabray, a neutral space station used for diplomatic gatherings and embassies, to try and find the surviving spy's message. Luke is a little nervous to see Zeltrons there: the red-skinned aliens were basically the living embodiment of "horny on main," and would've eaten Luke alive. He has less to worry about from the Stormtroopers this issue...

Splitting up to find the message, both of them overhear a plot to murder an Imperial governor, which...is horrible? In principle? Luke feels he has to stop it, to prevent a war, like there wasn't already war everywhere anyway. Thinking she was being chased, Leia accidentally disguises herself as an entertainer, and gets forced on-stage for a number! I've yet to see all of Carrie Fisher's song from the special, but...yeah, I haven't heard good things. And poisoned soup was about to be served to the governor, so Luke didn't think he had any choice but to stop him somehow. Luckily, one of the alien Lahsbees enjoys Leia's song maybe a bit too much, and hits puberty, which turns them into hulking monsters called Huhks!

Luke seizes the opportunity to 'accidentally' knock over the poisoned soup, but then finds himself face-to-face with the Huhk. Luckily, it was the stormtroopers job to protect the delegates...if only someone hadn't had the Hoojibs drain all the energy from the troopers' blasters! Plif the Hoojib has read the Huhk's mind, though; and quickly advises Leia to keep singing; and the Huhk is perfectly content to settle down and enjoy the show.

This may seem like a silly little issue now, but I still liked it then and liked it now! It helps if you had been reading the book for a while, since Hoojibs, Lahsbees, and Zeltrons were all introduced in the comic post-Empire. The next issue was supposed to be "The Big Con!" Which was another fun, light issue; featuring Lando's Captain Harlock cosplay; but that would be delayed to #79. #78 would be a Wedge story that was pretty good, but confuses his backstory (which was largely none at that point!) with Biggs Darklighter. (Or "Biggs Corpselighter," to quote an old Wizard/Toyfare bit I love and wish I could've found a scan for! "What's up, meat?") And I dug this one up because somebody on Twitter posted a page from #80, which was the conclusion of the Rebel spies story, the last pre-Return issue, and a tearjerker. And I may have bought a used reprint of those stories as well! All part of my process.

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In which I try to justify this purchase.

Shoot, I may have to do that several times: I made a hefty, for me, purchase the other day; which started with a ten-dollar figure that hasn't turned up yet, then snowballed into pre-ordering a bunch of stuff I was probably going to get anyway, right? Like the new M.O.D.O.K. and Xenmu/villain Marvel Legends wave. 

And Jar Jar...I don't know. I think I thought he would be fun, or funny, or I would be sorry if I missed getting him. But he wasn't as wacky or happy-go-lucky seeming as I expected. Even the back of the package seems like a dark and foreboding reading before Biography goes to commercial: "A clumsy, well-meaning Gungan outcast on Naboo, Jar-Jar Binks struggled to prove his worth throughout his life." That sounds like he got into drugs, didn't he? 

Be that as it may, while we're here, we may as well justify another purchase: a quick bit with the new Marvel Legends Firestar!

Spidey's right, she doesn't really have fire powers, you know. Just don't mention it to her, or question her on it, or anything.

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