They have a Super-Ventriloquism guy, I think he works from home.

This one drifted towards the bottom of the pile, because I may have confused it with one of the earlier Elseworlds annuals. Maybe this one should've had the big "Earth is Dead" page to remind me, but no time for that! From 1996, Superman Annual #8, "The League of Supermen!" Written by David Michelinie, pencils by Tom Grindberg and Kevin J. West, inks by Barb Kaalberg, John Lowe, and Bill Anderson.

On another far-off colony world, the legacy of Superman lives on, in a team of genetically-modified humans, and their 'boss,' a computer-simulation of Superman himself, saved by his drones. Unable to bring him back without a new body, Kryptonian DNA data was used to give humans powers, although they could only be given one power tops, and there were side-effects. (The heat-vision guy had to let off blasts when they built up too much, the flying guy couldn't not fly, the x-ray vision guy couldn't turn it off either, etc.) Worse, 'Superman' seemed to becoming colder, planning an elaborate system of defense satellites. New members were given technological enhancements instead of the DNA, to emulate super-speed and super-breath; but they discover the defense satellites were intended for use on the populace, if they should become unruly. The League has to come together and use all their powers to stop 'Superman,' after they lock their invulnerable teammate in a closet since he wouldn't turn against their mentor.

Nothing essential, but pretty good; and no spoilers: while there are some kind of terrorists in the opening, this is the rare story where there maybe isn't a bad guy! I was positive one of the League went full traitor but I guess that's from some other annual. (Either a Superman or JLA Elseworlds, probably.) Also, the last Legends of the Dead Earth post, for Guy Gardner/Warrior, I thought I was down to three: wrong! I also thought I had all of them, and I'm not positive I did then, but we do now: three more to go, with at least one I haven't read. Read more!

"Blackmail."

I think I'm writing Elektra as rather sweary, but there's a reason. Also, she's not a big one for dialog, is she? Although there is a bit in Daredevil: Man Without Fear, where by the fireplace young Matt is just beyond smitten, and she admits she killed a guy the other day...maybe a couple? The girl might've survived, maybe...

There's maybe some in-universe inspiration for this one: way back in Amazing Spider-Man #69, I think the Kingpin gets nicked in a surprisingly hands-on robbery of an ancient tablet. That was pretty much the last time he exposed himself to the law for years, but it might have seemed out-of-character for him even then. Sometimes, even the most lead-from-the-rear baddie might see a brass ring that they have to make a grab for...  

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I often say, if there's a full run of a mini-series in the cheap boxes, I'm obligated by law to buy it: well, I think I skipped Batman: Cacophany the other day. But I did get this run, that I don't think I had seen before: from 2006, Conan and the Midnight God #1, written by Joshua Dysart, pencils by Will Conrad, colors by Juan Ferreyra.

This was set early in the reign of King Conan, with a very pregnant Queen Zenobia: in an early scene, he's sitting in front of a mirror late at night, which doubtless felt odd to the barbarian. But his brooding is interrupted the next day, by the arrival of a delegation from Stygia: the "snake worshippers" are not given a warm welcome in Aquilonia, but Conan decides he needs to hear what was going on there. If you aren't Conan fans, well, Aquilonia was probably the mightiest and most prosperous nation of the time; while the sorcerous Stygia had been on a bit of a backslide: the ambassador, Ra-sidh, admits the Stygian economy had been wrecked by Thoth-Amon and they had been forced to seek peace. Conan is neither trusting nor especially sympathetic to the Stygians' plight...which might be worse than he could imagine. 

In a late-night drinking and strategy session with Pallantides, Conan grumbles that he'll probably have to start a war with somebody, just so everyone remembers Aquilonia was not to be stepped to. Pallantides wonders, if he was so disdainful of "civilization," why did he take over the country? Because he could. Later, Zenobia has a nightmare about Ra-sidh, and Conan tells the Stygian "to flee as if your life depended on it." Ra-sidh congratulates Conan on his coming heir, and when Zenobia goes into labor, Conan is about to go kill Ra-Sidh himself, but she begs him to stay, so he sends Pallantides, who tells his men it's not an act of war if there's no survivors to speak of it!

Ra-sidh proves more formidable than expected, using magic to kill Pallantides' men. (A more intense magic than Stygia's usual smoke and mystique; it looks like Ra-sidh is going full Human Torch there.) Zenobia survives the delivery, but the child is stillborn and not Conn, as longtime readers like me would've expected! Conan decides, it's time to unsheathe the sword of Aquilonia--its full armed might--and march on Stygia. No spoiler to say it doesn't go as expected, either. Oddly, in Dark Horse's main Conan title at the time, they were also doing a King Conan story: despite years of reading Conan comics, I don't have anywhere near as full a run of Dark Horse's books, so this one was new to me.

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My local Comic Book Shop put a ton of books in the dollar bins, just for me! OK, maybe not "just for me," unless I get there first! I tried very hard not to buy any issues I already had, although I know there were a few: there was a variant for Sgt. Rock vs. the Army of the Dead that grabbed me, and like I'm not going to grab spares of Sergio Aragonés Massacres Marvel #1 or Giant-Size Mini-Marvels #1; and I did get almost a complete second run of the two Blackwood series.

From 2018, Blackwood #2, written by Evan Dorkin, art by Veronica and Andy Fish. The first two issues weren't in the GCD, so I just uploaded this Declan Shalvey cover.

Four new students at Blackwood Academy--Stephen, Wren, Dennis, and Reiko--have just had a rough night, as one of them, Stephen, was dragged into a well, after the school's dean Ogden had turned into a creature. The well spits Stephen out, along with seemingly a ton of spirits, leaving him on the lawn in a ring of glyphs. The Blackwood faculty scrambles to try and piece together what had happened, as well as what to do with the new kids: the increasingly stressed-out acting dean Colby tells them, about the real Blackwood. The main school was a front, but there was also a secret school, teaching about "magic and ghosts, and all that stuff." "The secrets of the occult world," one of the kids phrases it better than the 1988 manual...

Wren wonders if it isn't messed up to offer scholarships to a school like that, but Colby tells them what they already suspected: all four of them had already suffered horrific mystical experiences, which may have prepped them to learn more. Unfortunately, they are then visited by Dean Ogden, wrapped in a coat and scarf, changed after reading from "the Book of Despair." Apologetically, Ogden curses "thee," binding their fates to that of the school. Stephen tries to argue "thee" means Colby, not all of them; although I don't know if he believes that. Following Ogden into a secret passage, they find a ton of weird bric-a-brac, including a stuffed monkey with two heads--that's alive!

Already knowing he was cursed, Dennis tries to leave the school, but a homeless woman starts babbling at him at the train station. A homeless woman, holding a headless rat, and with a horrifying parasite "child" that looks like it's coming out of her...! 

Blackwood would get two mini-series, and I wish it had continued: not to damn it with faint praise, but it's like Harry Potter if it was interesting. Just from this one issue, the characterization is a gazillion times better, and no weird stereotypes, and a two-headed monkey! Beats the crap out of Hufflepuff or whatever.

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ACAB (and one is a robot.)

It's overtime season for me once again, and I'm working it in smaller chunks because I'm so bored. Which leaves me a little short on time this week, but we luck out with a great book right next to me: from 2014, That's Because You're A Robot #1, written by David Quantick, art by Shaky Kane.

I feel like there should be much more of these, but this is another fun one-shot from Shaky Kane, with a deceptively simple premise: two cops, Jeff and Matt, are told one of them was a real human, the other a robot...but they didn't know which was which! Despite the fact that I think that should raise even more questions, this kind of does a number on the cops' working relationship, as they spend the rest of the issue rather gently accusing the other of being the robot. They were partners and buddies, so it doesn't come to gunplay or fisticuffs, just a lot of "no, you are" while their work suffers a bit: other stuff is going on, but you can understand how they're a bit preoccupied.

Man, I wish I had a massive budget and production house, since I would love this as a TV show, especially with all of Kane's weird background stuff. Just a half-hour of gunplay and accusations every week, with only the leads unchanging: the setting, format, supporting cast, costumes, everything else different every episode, but Jeff and Matt still arguing away: "I cut myself shaving, Matt; how could I be the robot?" "Maybe you used the electric razor, Jeff." "...maybe you're too stupid to be the robot, Matt." Read more!

Five different covers, and the main characters in this issue aren't on any of them?

...did they have the title and the release slot, then had to write it?

I think I'm confusing Dark Crisis with Death Metal Trinity Crisis, mostly just because I bought them from the same dollar bins. This issue I can recommend, though! From 2023, Dark Crisis: Big Bang #1, written by Mark Waid, pencils by Dan Jurgens, inks by Norm Rapmund.

The opening is pretty stark, as the Flash--Barry Allen--stares at a hologram of the multiverse and announces "I'm looking for the man who murdered me." He explains to Kid Flash (Wallace) and the reader, that the "cosmic limitation" on the multiverse had been lifted (from 52, presumably) and now an infinite number of earths were there to be rediscovered. But, that also could mean the Anti-Monitor was out there destroying realities, and the Flashes head out in search of him. They zip through several universes, a neat little tour, before finding the Anti-Monitor hitting Earth-28, a mech-suit version of the JLA. Barry had just wanted to do recon, but when Wallace is grabbed he has to pull out one of his more dangerous tricks: run repeatedly around the world, accelerating to nearly-infinite mass, for a punch that knocks the Anti-Monitor across realities!

Barry keeps that up, repeatedly hitting Anti-Monitor and avenging his torture on the treadmill in the original Crisis; but A-M eventually grabs him. (The above page isn't just neat; it's also thematically appropriate, since Batman and the Joker were among the last to see Barry alive in Crisis!) It's all over for Barry, until Wallace shows up, with back-up gathered from all over the multiverse! Barry briefs them on the plan, to knock the Anti-Monitor into the anti-matter universe; but doesn't tell them that whoever lands the last punch to shove him in will probably get sucked in as well. Racing around the world again, his life passes before his eyes in an instant, but he's okay with it, and knocks the Anti-Monitor through...but is himself saved by the Batman Green Lantern! (I think that's from Batman: In Darkest Knight, although I can't remember if he had the bat-ears in that one!) I really like the ending, though, where Barry describes the multiverse as "a door to a place without limits." (Or, it can be like everyone you know, only as pirates or cowboys or dinosaurs or...) 

This is perhaps not unlike that Spider-Boy issue we saw a while back, that also walked back the destruction of some minor yet beloved alternates. Also this issue, after a tribute to Carlos Pacheco; Barry Allen's notes on the multiverse and the earths he had cataloged: Kamandi is back on Earth-51, Tommy Tomorrow on Earth-54, and I wonder if I can find a reprint or cheap copy of Adventure Comics #387. The cover doesn't mention it, but Earth-387 is described as "no divergences in history other than every inhabitant is a werewolf." Sounds fun!

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"Goody."

Looking it up, Daimon Hellstrom was still using the "Son of Satan" name well into the 80's--I'm not sure I have it, but I seem to recall him appearing in West Coast Avengers (#15, if not elsewhere) with a more superhero-styled costume and a shorter trident. It...didn't feel like a good fit, really. But his, and Satana's, dad was retconned from the capital-S Satan, to "Marduk Kurios," which is an immense downgrade; even if on the short-lived Helstrom series, Marduk was played by Mitch Pileggi, best known as Walter Skinner from the X-Files! Marduk's Marvel wiki mentions, at the end of the Warren Ellis Hellstorm series, I think Daimon had knocked up a witch, in exchange for learning his dad's true name to gain power over him, but Marduk was going to be reborn on earth as his kid! The series was cancelled at that point, and while Marduk appeared since, otherwise that plotline was dropped; unless Daimon...took care of it. 

Probably can't call it research, but I spent a week going down a rabbit hole of somewhat grotty 70's era Satan movies on Tubi; most of which weren't great but maybe have moments. Haven't seen the Omen or Rosemary's Baby in a bit, either; or their assorted sequels. 

Also, is this the first time we've had Selene from the Hellfire Club out? I got the Club box set but missed the Hellfire Guards entirely: I don't think Hasbro made big enough runs of those or the Skrull army builders.

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The premise feels flawed, like the Shadow would've just shot everybody. EVERYBODY.

By rule, if I find a whole mini-series in the cheap bins, I have to buy it; and it's a pleasant surprise for an eight-issue series! From 2012, Masks #1, written by Chris Roberson, art by Alex Ross. There are, of course, a metric ton of variant covers for the series, but somehow we've got the "retailer incentive" Sean Phillips one.

It's Dynamite vigilante team-up, with the Shadow introducing himself to Green Hornet and Kato here: they had been trying to get intel from a mid-level boss; the Shadow kicks their asses, kills the boss, and tells them to go to a club. So the Shadow knows from the jump, that while the duo pretended to be criminals, that was just a front. Brett Reid later meets with Lamont Cranston (and Margo Lane!) and they discuss the recent elections, which put the "Justice Party" in control of New York City. Said party is of course corrupt as hell, chock full of criminals and actually importing more from out-of-state, to better extort the public in the name of "law and order." Waiting outside, Kato sees some cops being racist dickheads, arresting an artist to meet their quota...new masked officers hit the streets...OK, this was written in 2012 or so, and appears to be set in the late 40's, but yikes, seems familiar now.

A district attorney protests the injustice of the new laws, and is detained himself; we'll see him later. The Shadow again approaches the Hornet and Kato: the new cops might have the law on their side, but not justice. They wade into a squad of them, to try and save people from being arrested for not "paying the poor tax," a extortive "relief fund." But the cops' armor is surprisingly good, protecting them from the Shadow's bullets and the Hornet's stinger! Even with the Spider joining in, are our heroes outmatched? To be continued... 

If you've read Justice League comics in like the last 30 years, you're familiar with the dynamic: the Shadow is very much the Batman of the group, the one that knows more, growls orders, and isn't particularly social. I think over time, the Green Hornet might consider him a bit murder-y; although Kato would probably shrug it off as hey, gets the job done. (The Spider would be a huge fan and probably say things like "you inspire me, sir" and get his own murder numbers up...) Sadly, Ross would only provide "art direction," and probably some covers for the rest of the series: Dennis Calero would draw the rest, and it's good, just not as nice. There would be more vigilantes to come, too: Miss Fury and the Green Llama would tag in the next issue, after they meet while changing in an alley. And they wouldn't be the only ones, which I think pulled focus a bit too much: the Black Terror shows up, and while that costume is distinctive, I still have no idea what his deal was. But, I guess that kind of shows it takes everybody to fight an oppressive regime.

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This wasn't one I had scheduled out into the future, but it actually may have come up a few times, so now's good! From 1988, Warlord #131, "Vengeful Legacies" Written by Michael Fliesher, art by Jan Duursema.

Coming up on the end of the series, this issue wraps up a storyline that had been running here-and-there since Secret Origins #16: back when he was a kid, Travis Morgan kicked the tar out of a bully, impressing the girl that would later become his wife. Travis would go on to become an Air Force pilot, get shot down on a spy mission over Russia, and end up in the lost land within the earth (sort of) Skartaris; where he would have adventures for years. And that bully, Danny Maddox? Somehow, he defected to the Soviets, and was the pilot that shot Travis down! But since it wasn't a clean kill, Maddox got sent to the gulag, and was there until meeting Mariah on an ill-fated visit to her home country. Maddox and Mariah eventually escape back to Skartaris, where Maddox puts on a friendly face but is secretly ecstatic at the chance to get revenge on his "old friend" who he felt was responsible for everything wrong in his life.

I don't have the previous issues right next to me--I've definitely bought this issue a few times, but it may be in some other collections--and I can't remember how "o glorious Ma-dux" was in charge of some little kingdom here: I'd guess by waving a gun around. He was also with Mariah, although he hits her, and was keeping her in the dark about drugging Travis and torturing him. He maybe had too long to think about that and can't settle on one, as he has Travis buried up to his neck under the hot Skartaris sun, but then digs him up to go inside to the dungeon/torture room set-up. He's going to have Travis dipped in boiling oil, and for good measure, has taken a headband from Travis's recent friend Aoife, since it resembled a device he found on a "weird aircraft," and figured it was a key. (Skartaris was full of weird technology like that, that the locals had no inkling of how to use.) Mariah tries to rescue Travis, but is caught.

But before that, an interruption: one of DC's Bonus Books! These were 16 page free stories, and the GCD notes this as #6: over the years, we've seen the Atom one with Jim Balent, and, um, Dr. Light getting the business from Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys. We really need to dig up Detective Comics #589, though: that was the first issue I read with Norm Breyfogle, who was very much 'my' Batman artist as a kid! This story gave Jennifer Morgan the lead, but is better known for early work from Rob Liefeld! ("Growing Pains" Written by Steve Wilson, art by Rob Liefeld and Jeff Albrecht.) Jennifer tries to save a young orphan boy after she finds him robbing a old man's corpse: palace guard Masaq says that's probably not a good idea, but she was at heart an American girl and had to try; remembering trying to save a stray kitten when she was a kid. Both the kitten, and the orphan, betray her since they were both little murderers; with the kitten taken away by animal control, and the orphan running in front of a horse and getting trampled after he had been exposed. Jennifer still cries over both of them. (I thought this was a good effort from Rob, although...man, it's still kind of iffy. And he already had more work lined up at DC!)

Back to the main story: using the headband-circlet, Maddox activates the machine, and gets a holographic message from Garn Daanuth, the bad guy from Arion! Duursema had been the co-creator and regular artist on that title, maybe for the whole run? I've been putting it together out of the quarter bins and will read the whole thing when I do! "Garn" was long dead, but still pissed: this machine, and its power, was for his descendants and followers; and the chained-up Aoife hears the message as well. The sorcerer had sent colonization ships out after Atlantis sank: one crashed, with only a baby survivor. The priests wanted to kill it, but a soft-hearted executioner instead puts the baby adrift, where it was later found and raised by Viking-types; with the circlet passed from child to child, eventually to Aoife. As "Garn" prepares to destroy the city for trying to steal his power, Aoife is able to use it to free herself, then saves the others. Morgan once again kicks Maddox's ass, although not as thoroughly as readers probably would've liked, the circlet is returned to Aoife, and she's able to save the city, even if "Garn" doesn't really approve. (Even his hologram recording was evil! That's the sign of a quality baddie.)

As Aoife prepares a small boat for their departure, Morgan says goodbye to Mariah, who was staying with Maddox, saying she loved him. I'm at a loss to express how much that sucks; Mariah deserved better, and Maddox deserved a shallow grave. (Mariah was a Russian saber champion, held her own in Skartaris for years, and still gets slapped around by this rat?)  Still, Morgan isn't worried about Maddox: not only was he taking away his guns, hadn't he kicked his ass like three times over several decades? Maybe he'll try again when they were senior citizens...We don't see Maddox in the Mike Grell relaunches, I think he put Mariah back with Machiste. (So many 'M' names!) Grell might have ignored any continuity that wasn't his...There were only two issues left, and the subplot pages hint at it: Jennifer feels a mystic disturbance caused by current big-bad witch Khanthaiti, and Shakira is teleported away from a threesome. (She hadn't been seen in the book for a bit, and this was the quickest way to get her back!) 

I appreciate the effort in trying to introduce new characters to a long-running title like this--especially one with a fairly big supporting cast already--but I get Maddox confused with Redmond, the rogue CIA agent with a grudge that also followed Travis to Skartaris. So out of like four people from the surface world that made their way there, half of them did so just out of sheer hate for Travis, who barely remembered them. Still, this was a tough row to hoe: sure, you don't want to just bring Deimos back yet again--which Mike Grell would!--but it's like trying to replace Skeletor or Shredder, with the hero's old bully...

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You might guess the artist, but the title might be tougher.

We saw Marvel's take on Celtic mythology back in Avengers, but this might be closer to the source material: from 2018, the Brave and the Bold: Batman and Wonder Woman #5, "Chapter Five: The Return of the Kings" Story and art by Liam Sharp.

Huh, I didn't think this was from that long ago. I think I have maybe one more issue of this, a six-issue limited, with Batman and Wonder Woman on the case of a murder--within the Celtic pantheon, in the mythical land of Tir Na Nog! Batman has realized something about the victim--he may not have been a local!--but perhaps too late to stop an attempted breakout to earth, that Balor of the Evil Eye and his forces are also interested in.

...I feel like Batman should be able to find that suspect for questioning. Read more!